Friendships in US vs. DK

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  • Опубликовано: 20 дек 2024

Комментарии • 61

  • @MegaSantaclaude
    @MegaSantaclaude 2 года назад +50

    I think the saying "Its better to have a few good friends than many bad ones" is pretty common here in DK.

  • @Valjean666dk
    @Valjean666dk 2 года назад +43

    I read regularly that Denmark/The Nordics is a nice place for people who are introverted.
    There's more respect for personal space, and in public people tend to "leave you alone".
    You can choose to enter spaces that are more social, but other than that, people will give you space.

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад +60

      Miranda here- As an introvert, I have really thrived in Denmark for this very reason. It is much more acceptable to just have lots of quiet down time either alone or just with a friend or two. I can choose to be social when I want to be and I have the agency to take a day or two to recover from so much interaction. I feel like often in America, you are expected to be social (and sociable) even when you dont want to be. It drives a lot of ex-pats nuts that Danes aren’t into small talk. Meanwhile Im basking in the silence. I’m very Danish in how I interact socially 🤣

    • @Luka1180
      @Luka1180 2 года назад

      But if you really need to meet new people it can be depressing even for introverted Danes. Or extroverted ones.

  • @wncjan
    @wncjan 2 года назад +14

    I was told once that a friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a body. 🤣

  • @mikkel5681
    @mikkel5681 2 года назад +3

    "We got a graph... with people people.. and filter people.." One of the better comments ;)

  • @wollaminfaetter
    @wollaminfaetter 2 года назад +8

    This is not surprising to me at all, and I think you are absolutely right. That's why Danes sometimes get a little lost when travelling and meeting new "friends" abroad. "Friend" means a little more in Danish I think. The rest is "bekendte" (acquaintances). Another category.

  • @Elgsdyr
    @Elgsdyr 2 года назад +15

    I once heard Danes described as that "old-school" glass bottle of ketchup. It's difficult to get something out initially, but then it suddenly all pours out (when we feel we can trust someone).

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад +17

      I’ve always said that Danes are like M&Ms. Hard shell on the outside but super sweet on the inside 😍 - M

    • @Elgsdyr
      @Elgsdyr 2 года назад +2

      @@TravelinYoung That'll work too. 😀

  • @pharol
    @pharol 2 года назад +6

    Getting new friends can be a bit tricky here in Denmark but it helps when you have a hobby or common interest. A few years back, me and an old buddy of mine (known him since first grade, and we're both around 50 now), wanted to take up playing roleplay games again, so we made a post in a Facebook group looking for people of age 40+ and within a day or two we had 4 people responding. We met in a pub, had a few beers, talked about life and our backgrounds and so we decided to start up a group. Today we still hang out, drink beer, chat about family stuff and play games ofc. Sadly one of them had to move back to Jutland, so we're experiencing some of same problems you mentioned about distance

  • @KHValby
    @KHValby 2 года назад +1

    The older you get, the less friends you end up with. But the ones who remain, are the ones who want to be part of your life, and Vice-versa ! Not to be morbid, but there the ones who will carry you out, on that last day. As always a really good VLOG 😊 !

  • @Joliie
    @Joliie 2 года назад +4

    I would say the parties with more people than you normally would have, is something that is done, but its not done often an usually round birthdays or something special, as for those people who you not seen in years, call or you meet and you are straight back where you left it, got a few of those.
    One thing is that friendships comes and goes, for some reason that just is, moving new job, girl/boy friends etc, its not a bad thing it just part of growing and sometimes they come back, you move apart and you find new friends .

  • @BenjaminVestergaard
    @BenjaminVestergaard 2 года назад +5

    Co-workers tend to be a bit closer here in DK, we don't see eachother as competitors. But you've hit it quite well. It takes more to enter the inner circle, but once you're there there's nothing too big to ask.

  • @Zandain
    @Zandain 2 года назад +3

    Fun video of your 'filtered' friends
    ..and I know what you mean; friend vs travel
    1. I have life friends - that have known me and stuck by me, forevah be they family or 'tree house' friends!
    2. Travel & school friends - people I have met/live around the world and kept in touch with (made easier by the Interweb!) (diplomatic brat)
    3. Work friends (acquaintances)- that I sometimes join for a drink or dinner after work, without any later expectancies
    Your 'cigarettes' are more in depth, yet I think both our systems are recognizable 😉
    hello from Hundested 🌸 🌱

  • @kickmyself1973
    @kickmyself1973 2 года назад +1

    As a dane being somewhat introvert, I have lifelong frinds scattered allover the country and we dont see eachother that much. Most one every 2nd year or less but when we gather its like yesterday. I have a ton of neutral friends that i see more often. But it also depends how outgoing one is i think. Sportsfriends, music band friends, The Pub friends, Gamer friends. Then there is the family friends. But i think you guys are right you are more open in USA than here in Denmark to let people in your life. But i think our term "Hygge" the intimacy is more invested in when you get in that you are really present. Many danes like the little private gathering compared to openhouse parties as i understanding from your perspective.

  • @Harry-zw6jh
    @Harry-zw6jh 2 года назад +1

    This was a really fun video! I think that in England where I’m from ,it can be the same as Miranda describes the almost pressure to keep up appearances with some of the more surface friendships that you happen to have accumulated over time via being forced together from school or work! The difference I feel in Denmark is very freeing from a lot of that and of course you meet new people but I have found they are either acquaintances at work where a beer at the office on a Friday is a nice time to share with. or strong friendships that solidify them selves, Danes don’t seem to do the fluffy superficial stuff in the middle of the scale and I love that😂

  • @Michael-dj6pd
    @Michael-dj6pd 2 года назад +2

    I think we're just more careful about what we share about ourselves with others. However I also think it is because we want to know we can usually trust the actual friends we have when the need arisses.

  • @HansMilling
    @HansMilling 2 года назад +6

    The third group is aquatinted (“bekendte”) in Denmark, they are not really friends, and not people you would invite over. But you are right about you observations in my opinion.

  • @Gert-DK
    @Gert-DK 2 года назад +2

    Some words from an old man: When I was young (20-30) I had a lot of friends, now I am over 60 I have fewer friends, but those that are left are the real friends.
    So comparing your time in DC to now, is maybe not all fair.
    Try to remember when you were a little girl/boy, try to remember your parent's friends. I guess there were a lot. Then have a look at them now. I bet they have fewer friends over for coffee.

  • @noonevincecarterfan
    @noonevincecarterfan Год назад

    I totally agree with you. We are very closed, and even more so here in Western Denmark and even even more so among the youngsters. A lot of that is shyness though as when they get a few drinks, they lighten up a lot. It's a shame because (some) Danish people tend to judge (project) a lot and are very sensitive to being judged and rejected. So staying in your own lane seems like the safe say to go. Talking to strangers on the street almost seems like an intrusion here in Western Denmark sadly.

  • @jasooon86
    @jasooon86 2 года назад +1

    Thanks for the video. Great moves guys keep it up, was an interesting episode 🇩🇰🇺🇸

  • @carstenselberg1255
    @carstenselberg1255 2 года назад

    I do agree with you that moving around both internally in Denmark and abroad gives you another perspective on friends. In my case I'm Danish but currently lives in Germany, but I also lived in Lithuania, UK and a couple of places in the US, but one thing that I believe made me open to "collect" friends was that I went to an international school (Sct. Petri German School in Copenhagen) were we learned to be open to other cultures, and even though it was a German school, my class had people from Denmark, Germany, Austria, Sweden, France, Greece, Egypt and the US during my ten years at the school. Today I have good friends that I met during my business career that I still meet with when I'm visiting their country, I still have contact to many of my school mates from both folkeskolen and gymnasium as well as from the university.
    I've played soccer since I was 4 years old and I've used that to gain friends in many countries, were I played and I still have good contacts to many of them today. So you can call me a "friend collector"

  • @SneakyNinjaDog
    @SneakyNinjaDog 2 года назад +13

    I have a theory that Americans, due to geography, tend to have a looser way of interacting with friends. And therefore also a more fluid configuration of such. It also might make Americans a little more outgoing as they are used to meeting new people all the time.

  • @avejst
    @avejst 2 года назад +2

    Great video as always 👍😀

  • @Christian_Bagger
    @Christian_Bagger 2 года назад

    Something I noticed personally, and many Danes who were in the States also recognized it were that Americans are more approachable, and it’s way easier to be part of the fun and tag along. It’s common to have a chitchat and have a good time with just about everyone.. buuut! It’s actually really difficult to have a deep and really meaningful relation to an American. It’ll take you almost at minimum 3 years before an American actually opens up to you and you delve deeper than the surface level. It’s completely opposite with Danes. It’s really hard to get into a Dane, but once you’re in, you’re almost pals for life, and it’s a deep relation once you get through the rough surface.

  • @thomasbarnes2275
    @thomasbarnes2275 2 года назад

    Spot on!

  • @madsmller4030
    @madsmller4030 2 года назад

    You are minds wouth to embrace

  • @TheSkjold86
    @TheSkjold86 2 года назад

    im interested in the pro and cons to moving to denmark vs us and visa versa :)

  • @gammeldansk1
    @gammeldansk1 2 года назад +13

    Am a Dane with a bachelor's and a Master's in American Studies. I think you could make the argument that Americans have a greater incentive to make friends than Danes because of the way American society is set up, with less of the welfare society that we have in Denmark. From a society-point of view, it's just a good idea to have a large group of people whom you can rely on if the need arises, especially if you are among the many Americans who are not financially secure.

    • @sonyan3504
      @sonyan3504 2 года назад +2

      Does this suggest that in countries like Egypt (my mother in law), India, Bangladesh, ie… lots of poverty and no welfare, people should all have lots of friends? Perhaps this could be a Phd thesis for you.

    • @gammeldansk1
      @gammeldansk1 2 года назад

      that could very well be, I don't think the US is unique in that 😊

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад +7

      Your comment comes at this from the wrong, and somewhat cynical, angle. I know a lot of people in the US that are friendly so they can help other people rather than because they themselves need help. Friendship comes without conditions, if someone makes friends for insurance as they may need help one day, well that isn’t really a friend.

    • @gammeldansk1
      @gammeldansk1 2 года назад

      @@TravelinYoung I'm very sorry, that was absolutely a very cynical angle to come at it with.I definitely did not mean to imply that Americans make friends for selfish reasons.

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад

      @@gammeldansk1 no worries!

  • @doncarlodivargas5497
    @doncarlodivargas5497 2 года назад +4

    My company had a lot of projects in the USA in the 90'ties and early 00'ties, and I worked there a lot, and the customers, (typical Norwegians) lived, (moved to) USA, and they all told the same story, they never became friends with Americans, we, (Norwegians) are fooled by how Americans seems to be on friendly terms in seconds, something that takes a long time in Nordic countries, (perhaps Europe), I was also confused by Americans way of being 'intimate' to strangers, it is a really strange fenomen, not anything wrong with it, i found it charming, but really confusing

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад +3

      As an American, I also find the small talk thing weird now 🤣 especially in grocery store lines. I just want to get my groceries and go at that point. That said, we’ve met some awesome friends that we’ve had for years through small talk so it has it’s worth. - M

    • @doncarlodivargas5497
      @doncarlodivargas5497 2 года назад +2

      @@TravelinYoung - perhaps the way (some) Americans imidiatly start with this typical familiar tone with strangers are a way to defuse a possible dangerous situation or something, i think Americans are more 'un-rooted' than people in Europe and Nordic countries, so by exchanging a few friendly words they can judge if the stranger are a potential treat

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад +2

      Hmm it’s possible. Like maybe by introducing ourselves we establish that we are friendly. For many, it’s considered rude to not, at the very least, say hello people you are standing next to. That’s where the whole smiling at strangers thing comes from. On the whole, at least where I grew up in the South, it’s generally considered rude to keep to yourself. Now that I think of it, though, people who keep to themselves are considered to be distrustful so maybe you’re onto something.

    • @doncarlodivargas5497
      @doncarlodivargas5497 2 года назад +3

      @@TravelinYoung - I have also worked with Americans abroad, and there it is the same, this openness and willingness to talk about private issues, also initiate such topics, again, I do not mind and personally I like it, only, it is not very usual elsewhere, actually, now I remember a small episode, back in the 90'ties, in Louisiana, me and my Norwegian colleges was sitting at a table eating lunch together with the locals, (Americans) and during the lunch break the local workers suddenly started talking about how they went to religious ceremonies and how they appreciated a reverant and such, and me and my Norwegian colleges was sitting looking at each other not believing our own ears, that is stuff we never talk about in Nordic countries

    • @tyreesetranh4074
      @tyreesetranh4074 2 года назад +4

      @@doncarlodivargas5497 The scene you've described would be considered strange in much of the U.S. (including where I live). In fact, conversations about very personal matters, such as religious beliefs, are widely deemed as inappropriate for coworkers while at work.

  • @kristiankruse3964
    @kristiankruse3964 2 года назад +5

    Friends help you move, good friends help you move a body.

  • @SirSensitivity
    @SirSensitivity 2 года назад

    I would love to live in Denmark. That is the goal. theirs good friends here BUT the masses can easily change the character. I do have the different character friends in Denmark. Does not compare to u.s. The risk is high here so the stress of friends i believe is higher here.

  • @brightspark765
    @brightspark765 2 года назад

    Hey, I'm an introvert myself (I'm a Dane) and the worst phrase any foreigner can ask me : How are you? ... it is the most confusing question... which level is this question asked... what goes through my mind is, do they really wanne know, do I really look that bad, are they genuine about that question... I never know how to answer that question... but if you talked to me about the weather, everyone has something to say, me included... I've been a few places in Europe: Italy, France, Germany, UK, Sweden, Norway .... but I have friends from all over the world... some falls under the category aquaintance and a very few as true friends... Greetings from Northern Jutland

  • @Joemamma664
    @Joemamma664 2 года назад +2

    Brisket is one handsome guy ❤️

  • @mariamysager2789
    @mariamysager2789 2 года назад +1

    When I grew up , we often had guests and people who sleept over from all over the world. My father was involved in the international scout foundaition, national and internationall politic. Also involved with Unicef and other.. So he had lot of contacts and traveled all over the world. My mother had and still has a large group of girlfriends, who ofte popped by for a cup of Coffee and a talk. Some of them lieved fare away.
    But this group of ladies were very good at making get togethers, parties, trips or food.
    They made a tradition to make weddingcakes, if one of their children or family members was getting married. Sometimes their husbonds were invited too.
    We have had alot of great parties at home.
    I have always been very active in sport activities. And gotten alot of friends this way.
    I must say it was difficult for me to get new friends as an adult and moving to a new city. As a child, I was very shy. But I worked on it, realising it is much more fun to join in than standing on the side.So now, it is easy for me to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation. It is my superpower, my friends say . I'm still shy and a little introvert, but I act confidenent until it soon after becomes more natural. Some people think it is to confrontial. But it can also have avery good effect.
    I am a part of north jutlands biggest gospechoir in Aalborg(165 members).
    I keep an eye out for new people, who might feel very lonely during the break, in the beginning. I go to greet them and try to make them part of the group. I often present them to some of the other people there. Perhaps, then they would want to come back next time.
    I have found alot of new friends here. We go in smallere groups to choir workshops, creative hobbies, to the cinema, cafées, theater, walks, private dinners at each others homes. And then we are very good at partiing with the entire choir. We have the choirs birthday party, Christmas party where we go out to eat,drink,sing,dance....good times.
    And then we travel together on gospeltrips. We experience the culture, meet up with a local choir and learn new and sing with them, perhaps make happenings or concerts.
    We've been to London 2 times, New York, Vejle spa trip and workshop, this year we are going to Paris.
    I

  • @pHD77
    @pHD77 2 года назад

    You should do daylight videos more often. First of all, it gives your videos a more inviting atmosphere.
    Second, Brisket is suddenly more visible 😂 It's actually now possible to tell what's head and tails 😂

    • @TravelinYoung
      @TravelinYoung  2 года назад

      Ha, it is my preference to do them in the daylight, but the Danish sun hides for months and months. I’m hoping the next 5-6 months will mostly be in the daytime.

  • @piraten6120
    @piraten6120 2 года назад

    DANES are JUST the SAME with FRIENDS from ALL OVER THE WORLD... Regards a DANE...

  • @chrisbagge3129
    @chrisbagge3129 2 года назад

    Clean your whiteboard using hot coffee. Belive it or not, it works quite well.

  • @davidnguyen6823
    @davidnguyen6823 2 года назад +3

    I honestly have it difficult calling "random" people friends, and will usually put them into the acquaintances-group of people, and very few go into the friend-group, and even then, people get offended by it here in Denmark, which is kinda funny. I just have very high expectations for friends, even higher for myself, if I was to see them as a friend.

    • @uncleTbag86
      @uncleTbag86 2 года назад

      I take you are Vietnamese or somewhere from SE-Asia. True. I feel the same but i would call them comrades not acquaintance. It's is more friendly. People i know but don't care that much for would be an acquaintance. (not claiming this is universal for danes)

  • @jrgenfriborg3508
    @jrgenfriborg3508 2 года назад

    Oh yes : you left us🥺

  • @heidiandersson9462
    @heidiandersson9462 Год назад

    sad that people get jealous, instead of happy for you. U gott balls that moved across the world, just like the immigrants did 200 years ago. Good for u

  • @heidiandersson9462
    @heidiandersson9462 Год назад

    The Danes smokes a lot

  • @cipremil
    @cipremil 2 года назад

    This is just stupid. You have the friends you deserve . Its not the count of it. Go to Facebook and people have 600 friends