It have been a month and some days of the separate, divorce process, and many times I feel angry at me, I'm a Empath, yet because of the marriage that last only 16 month, that only the first 2 where ok. And all along I knew, but keep praying, hoping, and taking in, on June 15 , 2024 was the day that his attack where final, I don't have to take this type of demon abuse, is not in the Bible at all, and God condem that evil behaviors, to the point that is a cause for divorce, infidelity is not only on the flesh, and people need to get a grip on that. Infidelity is abuse, selfishness, ego, etc. infidelity is not walking theirs words and promises. Words hurts more than a punch ! Stop giving the benefits of the drought, stop hoping, stop giving in to what's not going to change, and start making your plan for your way out, start looking in the mirror and take care that person in front of it. Andrew you are awesome, if it wouldn't be for you, I still be in this demonic relationship. God bless.. Namaste
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone (got emotional writing) I really do not understand why there's no law that actually protect us, because authorities the only abuse they see is the physical, that enables much more the narcissist to keep on doing what they do. There's no legal support for us, they can go to a therapist and put on one of their mask and here nothing happens and they are free to keep hurting people as they wish. Also there's public awareness no even what narcissist is. Wish there be a public label to place on these people, like they do with sexual offenders, but like other laws is not done because it violated the individual.
Discarded on may 17,2023. A day I will never forget. I thank God I found your channel. You have been my light in the darkness. Thank you Andrew for helping us all.
I now know that leaving him was what I had to do to enjoy life again, the way I used to. I have some burning bridges to walk across because of that bustard. I'm beginning to realise that it was HIM and the way he behaved that others didn't like, therefore I'm guilty by association. Get rid of the narc. IT NEVER ENDS HAPPILY. (20 Years. Lost everything, hair included.)
Pray and don't be afraid, He's not going to forsake you. I got cameras in my house, but I also adopt a Belgian Malinois ( dog they uses in the forces ) 300 pounds jaw bite, but he's a bundle of love..
Love the comparison of people and cockroach 😂 because is Soo truth! Even the only friend I have don't even call me to check how I'm doing!!! Just my children's check on me. I told him that he may think that I'm walking on eggs shells, that I am walking on broken glass in flame, yet my relief is that I know when karma gets him, to remember everything he have done to me.
I am about 6 months out on my brutal discard. This video couldn't have come at a better moment, as they all do, Andrew. Never, ever in a million years did I think I would get hoovered, but... it happened. Although he is blocked on everything, and has not shown any interest or tried to reach out, he showed up at my home to return a cup of mine that he had. The universe is amazing, in that I happened to go outside at the exact moment he was walking up to the door to leave it. I'm sure he was going to leave it and run, as he looked terrified to see me. He couldn't look me in the eyes, and I really saw the lack of any Soul, personality, or light in this person. I smiled, acted happy and asked how he was doing. He said he was tired because he was up all night. I bet, anyway, getting hoovered does mess with your head space, as I found myself ruminating and thinking I missed what wasn't there. Watching this is reiterating all of the beautiful things that are actually happening in my life now that he is gone. Thank you, Andrew❤
@@kathleencondit1660 sure was! Took a few seconds for my brain to register what was going on. It was like seeing some kind of ghost, literally. It was like a jolt, or a shot of a drug. Yikes
The narcissist can change in 1 second flat. You don’t even have to say anything, they can think of something and turn it around on you even if they were the ones who did it. They’re sick people and they need to be removed from your life. That’s where I’m at right now, I’m trying to get away from a demon in disguise. ❤️🙏
I was in no contact when I stumbled across him. He invited me to have a drink with him, he leant across and told me I smell good, he said "I love you" then he started yelling "F off, you did xyz" Jeeze. I left and am still reeling and hurting that I endured that.
I was married twice ….both to a narcissist. 2 different types but narcissists. Between the two of them I experienced everything that you mentioned in this video. To the newbies : everything that Andrew says is on point. Listen to him & learn. Life with a narcissist never improves, it only gets worse & you will get emotionally & spiritually drained. After the second disaster marriage I am now working on myself, learning about & changing the patterns that cause me to get involved with narcissists. Never again !!
How my narcissist ex friend moved out of my house 1. Disconnected my propane furnace. Left it on the floor. 2. Disconnected my hot water heater and refused to put it back leaving me with no water system. 3. Smeared my name to all my friends and ruined my relationships 4. Let a pet pee all over the house. 5. Silent treatment for years. 6. Gaslighting "you said" ect 7. Lying and financial manipulation for monitory gain. 8. Financial exploitation. how I got free. I evicted him and cut ties. Refused to speak with him on phone. Kept all communication on the record. Writing only. 3. Told him to stay off my property and ended the friendship. 4. I don't contact him
Getting there everyday. Some days I laugh at these videos, others I have to turn them off as it starts to bother me to think about my ex again. No more tears anymore though or anger so I think I've turned a corner.
@@daeclipse03 It is an emotional process. I would like to suggest you journal your feelings and reactions to the videos as well as your posts. It has been very helpful to our group members and myself. Blessings to you! ♥
Spot on Andrew. We need those reminders of what hell we were living in. Never accept a hoover, it’s just another attempt to finish you off. Once you discern you are dealing with a narcissist, walk away. Have nothing to do with those cruel and ugly people who are driven by evil and they know what they’re doing and choose the wrong path anyway.
One month separated. Yes, the gaslighting, triangulating, lies, financial abuse and being his servant for the past 20 years all happened. You are spot on. He is trying to return to the relationship but I'm holding out. Maybe he didn't do so well on the dating sites as he thought. These videos are helping me, thank you ❤
A lot more people are getting educated about narciccism, so can identify traits A LOT SOONER!!! 🙂 Dated someone who "thanked " me for returning his call. ( Other women must have been LIGHT YEARS ahead of me in education about narciccism. ) 😔 I did NOT know about it then but discarded HIM when I HAD ENOUGH! Thanked him for life lessons and ghosted/walked away. I was NOT EMPOWERING him as to what he did wrong, as then he would act in a different manner and wound more people. Protected ( to the best of my ability ) other women. 🤷♀️
@@suesanders1169 Good on you Sue. I should have known better than to stay so long. I understood what narcissism was but became trapped in the cycle just the same. When you are an empath it's hard to alter your own nature. They prey on people who are kind and caring.
"THOSE WHO FORGET HISTORY ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT". Write the REMINDERS on the wall if necessary. Is for our protection to remind ourselves of our experience with the narcissist. ♥
Bravo! I think this is the best use of this quote I’ve ever seen. To open one’s self to the hoover and narc, is to open one’s self to unleash a Pandora’s box you’ll never wished you’d opened. You’ll suffer from the narc like never before. Guard your heart.
That is very true, I did it two times. Fifteen years each time. It left me feeling pretty stupid. Some kind of a sucker I guess. I've been working on myself for four years now not at all where I want to be. My trust issues are over-the-top I can't even trust myself.
@@brianreed8271 The ESSENCE of healing depends on the "self" assurance of "self-worth". You are valued> Reason for your "creation and formation" you were meant to be "here right now". Believing in yourself is UP TO YOU and we support you and believe it to be so. Namaste 💗
6 weeks of no contact with the dark narc and I attribute much of my success to this channel. In the past, anxiety and euphoric recall would haunt me during no contact. Not this time. I’ve seen the light. He Hoovered like he always does - testing the bait to see if I’ll bite. He doesn’t have me to regulate himself despite having 3-4 other sources of supply or more who knows. I can see him now lying next to supply #2 while typing me “don’t be mad at me” on his phone in the dark just as he did when I was the one lying next to him. We owe them nothing. Read that again. We owe them NOTHING. But we owe ourselves everything. We deserve everything we were so willing to give away to that black hole of a narcissist. And those days are over! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
1 month after a reverse discard. The healing path has been all over the place, but slowly reaching the mountaintop where I'm indifferent. For anyone reading this, you CAN do it! You can leave!! Myself and everyone in the tribe has survived it, so please know you're not alone. Thank you so much Andrew for your wise reminders ♡
I'm out 14 years, and I still need you Andrew and tribe. I am VERY socially selective and mostly a hermit. I never want to stop learning but never again in an abusive relationship. This includes toxic "friends". I still manage codependency. Freedom rocks, and better late than never.❣️
This is how I feel. It's been 3 years for me from my ex but then now I'm realizing I have to cut off some narc family members too. We've got this❤Hang in there.
I hear you 100% I am 4 years 3 of narcissistic abuse from a 15 year relationship, I have also started living my life as a hermit, it just feels so peaceful but I'm not sure if that is okay still trying to figure things out
The whole “abuse in the car” comment is so very real. I know exactly what Andrew is talking about. Thought it was just me experiencing this one. Narcissists are all alike!
So many of his rage-outs would be when I was trapped in the car with him. I would slink toward the door and turn my head to "get away" and try to block it out. He would huff and look at me with such disdain and disgust, spitting with loathing toward me, like I was the source of his problems. Like the traffic was my fault. Like the detour was my fault. God forbid I say, "Please calm down."
To heal, to understand why I stood so long (15yrs married, 20 yrs after ), to understand myself. To find why I let this happen..you hit every point they suck every once of life from you, till your at a point of death. Grow your independence, fortify your emotional health and study on what's killing you....this took me 20+ years to learn...still peeling the onion, but at a better place now at 60 yrs old...
Thank you Andrew, and all here. I am finally free. I have been improving myself. A good diet, and exercise. I sleep better, more energy, way less stress. I look better. Now it is me 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Fist time for so long I look forward to life. I love life. 💖💖
Thankyou! I'm 62. I have reached the pinnacle of indifference. It took 3 YEARS. I have no/ low contact with narc family members. It works.!! I'M FREEEEEEE
They LIE… very good reminders - all of this is so good and brings clarity. Thank you ❤🙏. And yes, for those questioning “was it really that bad?” Yes. It was.
Sometimes when you really think about it, its even WORSE than you remembered. I'm. Virgo, so I AM very detail oriented and a "detail" will resurface I had previously forgotten. 🙄 😳 😔 😉
One thing you can ask yourself if you have questions about your relationship: who is carrying the emotional weight of the relationship? Are you the one who sustains it? Does the emotional component rest on your shoulders? The weight will eventually wear you down.
The weight is quite exhausting. Gosh my shoulders have been feeling amazing these last couple months. I think it really hits us more physically than we knew.
Thank you, Andy!! I dreaded going home because I never knew what mood the narc would be in. Scary. I started to have panic attacks. I could NEVER do anything right. My hope is that everyone in our community is blessed with strength and courage. May God bring peace to you. Amen. Thank you, Andrew for another great video! I appreciate it!! ❤😊
Excellent reminders, Andrew. Yes… we all need them. Remember, they LIE! Lying is a way of life for the narc. The intensity of the abuse you endured and the damage they inflicted on you my dim over time as you heal. But NEVER confuse that with the reality that not only was it as horrific as you remember, it may well have been worse. They never cared and THAT will never change. Thank you, Andrew for making this strong reinforcing video! Namaste 🙏😌💪💕
Great suggestion Andrew about pro and con list. The pattern I see is the pro items start in the beginning of the relationship (lovebombing stage). The con is everything else. Relationship is not beneficial to non narcissistic people. Leaving them is a gift.🎁😊
When you go inside your body and realize that other people are projecting their filthy crap into your being, that's the perfect time to set boundaries.
I had to learn a hard lesson about "performative empathy." I was on the receiving end of what I perceived as heart-felt empathy...I was given help...but after several years I was dealt a hard blow. It really blindsided me! "Communal" narcissists are the trickiest...if they are always doing such good deeds(for everyone), how could they have been so cruel to you(me)...?
I’ve watched your videos for about a year now. Finally going through my divorce and am completely indifferent. I’m so excited to get my life back! Thank you, Andrew!
I threw out my narcissistic 21 year old son, two days ago. For the last three years with all this Covid nonsense going on I have allowed him to have friends over however, when the friends never left and I told him they have to leave nobody left. In fact, he actually had one girlfriend living here and then once he was done with her, he had another girlfriend living here and I have allowed this to happen to me. Well I drop the hammer on Monday enough. I love him to bits but every Time he comes home from University. I have so anxious and nervous and upset Because I know he’s gonna ask me to have his friends over and I have to cook for them and then clean after them and then they stay overnight and it’s it. It’s insane last three years have been insane. I still am crying because he’s my only son and I’m alone now forever like really forever but I’d rather be alone trying to recuperate from this attack, then put up with it anymore. Or allow it to happen in my house anymore. Please pray for me.
I'm So Sorry as a Mom my Self i Can only imagine how that maybe i grew up with a Narcissist Mother who i would have never thought i as an Adult would have thrown her out especially after a year helping her from a Stoke but she got worse with her abuse towards me i had no choice i cried for a while thinking i was a horrible Daughter but i kept going even though i ended up with a Narcissist Husband which i am trying to get out of 15 years of hell but it will happen that I'll be free of him but i know its tough you will make it i promise i will keep you in my prayers i some day will be free and i want to be alone as well thank you lots of love to you and many blessings my friend keep your head up your heart open 🙏❤✊✌🌷🌹🌻🌺💐
PRO/CON List is the most valuable tool anyone experiencing narcissistic abuse can do for themselves. It is so easy to reminisce the good times, have amnesia about the bad times and fall for the pity-party lines and charming mask when they want you back. The Con side of the list WILL be much longer than the Pro side, read it and re-read it daily to remind you who you are REALLY dealing with - maybe include a third column headed 'Narcissistic Traits' and compare with your list of Cons, again just to convince you and make doubly sure who you are dealing with. This exercise is a wake up call, it's hard to deny the facts afterwards. 🐼
@ISnoitcelfeR, I can relate to you completely and my heart goes out to you. I tried to keep the lines of communication open but I was discarded like a soiled dyper/ nappy. I went for a serious operation and during my recovery something lured me to look at FB which was quite strange as being in a bad place, I came off FB for years to protect my piece of mind being in bad and lonely place and discarded by my ex, my Adult children and my own siblings, and then Bang‼️ I looked at my son's profile to see that he had gotten married, just days after I sent him a birthday message and we exchanged a very brief WhatsApp message. All I wanted to do was speak to my dear dad having no-one to turned to, but he had sadly passed away only a few months prior. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. I love listening to Andrew's wise words. I can relate and being reminded is just what I need to hear. God bless you. We will survive 👍🏻xx
Hello Andrew and everyone. I left him over 12 yrs ago, and believe me, i will never forget the Future Faking and Gaslighting. They were the worst things to me. Trying to get me to believe I'm going crazy, and an engagement ring as a ploy to marry him. HAH! These things you never forget. If you were Hospitalized, that's easy to remember. I'm at peace now, but I will NEVER forget. How could anyone forget that they were used? You can't! GREAT TOPIC ANDREW ❤❤
We really need reminders to stay strong, so true, I've been no contact for one month after recent word salad abuse and other things, triangulation was his favorite. My attraction to him faded out fortunately for me. I still need to remember to stay in check for my well being. Thank you,Andrew for helping us keep our guard up.
Every time I encounter a new person is a reminder. I see people as potential narcs that need to prove themselves now. It’s a strange but good place to be.
Yes my physical and mental health deteriorated over the course of the relationship. I am still trying to heal my body and my mind from the trauma and damage.
I met him 14 years ago in a long term facility we worked at. Then my grand daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. I took a leave from work and took care of her sister while she was fighting cancer. I had one highschooler at home then too. The guy moved in during this tine. He was low key but not buying groceries. After the good news that my grand daughter was healthy again (yay), her family got back to their routine with her sister that I was caring for. This is when the guy slipped and fell on my icy stairs (this is a maintenance person for our place of employment), to me he should have been keeping an eye on that but instead, he falls takes a month off from work. This set the scene for the rest of the relationship. It was more and more about him, about his likes and dislikes. My highschool daughter graduated and within that year, moved out on her own. The guy thought he should have some time living with his son, in MY APARTMENT. I agreed to a few months and I was good about it in spite of this kid eating all the groceries, leaving a mess and having his friends doing drugs in my bathroom. The last straw was this kid showing up, beaten and drunk yelling at me about how bad his parents are to him. I snapped. Told the guy to get his son out, told him to get out. He couldn't believe me, until I was moving my furniture out the door, then he took his shit back home to his mother. That's where his son moved too. I moved in with my ailing aging parents, and worked at that facility- I'm a health care aide. I helped them both and loved them dearly. I still had the narc buzzing around but not living with me (he lives a block away). This summer I tried a month of no contact with him and I felt strangely good. Like your videos mention, I was getting myself back. My dad got sick, I let the narc back and regretted it. Oct. 10th my dad passed away . The narc said 'it will get easier each day' (the next day of my dad's passing). I know what he means, he wants all this grief to stop and the attention to start being put back on him. He was bringing over his favourite things, like sneaking to move in with me. I had an anxiety attack one night and stopped his plans. I don't want to have his agenda and bad moods in my life! I don't want him draining my resources and making me feel bad. I can imagine him riding out 6 months with me and then acting worse, then expecting half of everything I have. ENOUGH!! Thanks to your videos, Andrew, I am keeping on track and getting stronger. There will be no 'hoover' this time, it's really over.
Thank you for being here for us , there are sooo many layers and just when I think I worked through something from the horror and painfulness , BAM - there it is and the floodgates open and I just cry and cry , but these post reminders are everything at these moments that hit me out if nowhere and I realize how awful and sad my 4 year marriage turned into 💔but I’m grateful and thankful for each new day even though it’s been 2 years now
I am 3 yrs post covert narcissistic relationship …. everything you just shared is 100% correct! Thank you for the confirmation! There is healing and life post toxicity!
Andrew you are a STAR! I've been following your videos for a while now and they have got me through many rough days. I feel like there is something extremely shamanic about you and your teachings/videos. Keep spreading this vital knowledge, you do it in such a unique and healing way. Much love from Ireland...... David 💚
This is the best video so far! I am 6 years plus after discard, 25 years of marriage and 2 kids and many years of expat life later… i hear you. I call it my ‘renaissance’. Struggling occasionally, but overall, thank you universe ( and Andrew ) for the enlightenment, the bad juju has left the building 😂💪🙏
I did break out in huge rashes, living with a narc relative, when the covid news first dropped and i realized i was trapped for a time. Never had that before or since! Cleared up rapidly when i cleared out of there
Hey hey Andrew!! Reminders are healthy! I know I can allow my forgetter to forget. The good news is that I am well aware and will not allow myself to stop learning. I am leaving tomorrow for my revisit to the island I left. I feel so grateful for the support and love I have and my own strength!! I am recovering my power by simply going back for a vacation. This is my healing path. I will not fear bumping into the energy vampire! I get to choose how I react but the goal is to go and enjoy my past stomping grounds and build new memories!! #kimlivefree
Just make sure SOMEONE knows your plans AT ALL TIMES. Check in with that person when you are SAFELY back at your "temporary" home. ( AFTER you have checked EVERY ROOM and CLOSET, plus any other space you believe a person could hide. ) Not trying to be an alarmist, just a reminder about vigilance and safety. Especially since things may have changed drastically since you lived on the island. 🙂 Wishing you safe travels and FUN TIMES on your vacation. NEW MEMORIES!!! 😊
@@suesanders1169 thank you sweet warrior!! I am eternally grateful for any helpful safety tips!! Thankfully my new healthy amazing boyfriend is in the loop on everything and will be with me. Also I am grateful my girlfriend who still lives there is where we are staying at and the energy vampire fears her truth bomb talk track so no worries there. Plus he doesn’t know I am going to be there. We all have a plan if he does show up at any place we are at. My boyfriend respects and understands this is my healing journey and he is there as a huge support!! I love how God/Higher Power/Universe lined this moment and time up for me to take this step. Nothing happens by accident!! Knowledge is power and fear is FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE!! Thank you for the warrior vibes!!❤️🙏💪💯
Andrew 1 of the flying monkeys came to me showed me all what the narcissist said on his phone about me then tried to take the narcissists place knowing I was isolated and alone,I have blocked this flying monkey and don't care if they make friends again,I don't want these types of monsters anywhere near me.please people be careful of the flying monkeys as much as the narcissist itself
Thank you Andrew, I was having a low moment today and feeling a sense of doubt which my ex would always make me feel like I’m not able to make decisions in the past. It’s been six months now and this has been a incredibly but healing experience and journey that my life has been through. Thanks for this video for reminding myself and others of how far we came and how far we are to reaching that moment of indifference and acceptance in our lives. You and others are angels and warriors in this fight . Namaste from Tennessee
@@jannlewandowski5540 I am doing fairly well. Received 2 of my favorite flowers today. One on Andrews post this morning, and met a friend who gave me one in person, because she knew they're my fav. Beautiful gesture. Hope you are well, and have a beautiful rest of your day. 💖💖
For me there’s an imprint that I will never forget what was done the reminders are 💯 needed to ensure you never fall into another relationship like that the boundaries work true friendships will except 🙏💕
😅it has taken me years to find out who I am and reality was in fact, reality. I would encourage all on this channel to look back to find your truth. You deserve this
10 years BPD relationship, 12 years grandiose Narcissist, 3 years vulnerable Narcissist . I broke it off with both these Narcissist women. I'm so glad I didn't allow them to disguard me. Andrew you have helped me so much! Beautiful sir!
New to this channel. I was discarded by my narc mother and flying monkey sister after the death of my dad a couple of weeks ago. The pain is very real. I knew them for what they were for many years, my dad was the enabler but I was still Daddy's girl and my feelings about him are confusing. He was supposed to protect me from the mental and emotional abuse but he didn't, and he couldn't in the end because he was abused in his final days. Yes, I was triangulated my entire life. I feel like my entire family died when my father passed away. And I'm feeling lost yet free, I don't know if that makes any sense. Thanks so much for your channel, it's been helping me a lot over the past few days.
I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. To have first lost your father and then be discarded by your narc mother and flying monkey sister is just outrageous. These narcissistic people are like shells of human beings.
@@angelalewis4213 thank you. My dad begged to speak with me the night before he died and they refused to call me. And I'm blamed for that. It's beyond disgusting. I'm working on finding my peace. His death has set me free, so it's a gift, really, and that's the only way to move on.
You will come through this time period. One day at a time. One week at a time. I think I grieved my sister discarding me last year, worse than my Mom's passing last year. I was super close to my Mom. It basically felt like a number of deaths because my brother also discarded me. Sadness is so heavy to carry in the area of one's heart. My loss was around fifteen people, because their families also did the discard. We share the same type of grief. Hugs. Keep listening to the videos each day. You will get further down the healing path.
We veterans stayed in the sham marriage because in those days divorce was seen as shameful and you married for life good or bad . I would tell the young ones to RUN..as far as you can before you waste your whole life and end up with chronic health problems in your later years.. Love and blessings from Bonny Scotland ❤🏴
My divorce was final on 8/25/23. I am FREE from the monster 👹 40 years with this sub-human. I won! I never have to see him or hear his f..cking voice again. I thought I would feel a little sadness because of the 4 decades, but NO all I feel is relief ❤❤❤
Just don’t feel guilty but just understand with the education clips on Internet , What happend. Find the answers of all the questions you had. Take your time and understand what was your part in the “game”. Don’t be angry use positive energy to find your happy life again.
I think it's also healthy once you have done your research and have gained an awareness of the toxic or narcissistic people in your life, is to detach and not feed any energy into them or the relationship. Take back you power and move forward
It is such a blessing to hear these messages as well as read the comments . I am getting stronger each day & I couldn't imagine where I would be mentally if I didn't come upon the channel! 🎀😘
I dealt with everything my health was failing my relationship with my daughter was destroyed i believe this person made me put my service dog down because she was jealous of the attention i was giving the service dog over this person and so much more and now I've ended things and things are improving with my health is getting better my other dog is now doing better and slowly working on things with my daughter.
Andrew I pray🙏 Archangel Michael surrounds 🙌 you, yours and other beautiful souls that may be in the path of the hurricane 🌀 or tropical storm by the time it reaches the Carolina's. ☮️❤😁 and other highest forms of abundance all 🙌! A great big Momma Bear hug 🫂 if anyone needs one as well! 😇✨️
Big thank you Andrew for your reminder, what a powerful message! For people who grew up in a family who may not has been perfect, BUT: loving, it is especially hard to realize the games the narcissistis is capaple to play. In my journey towards healing I do look back after I separated from him when I realized he was so toxic, in disguise. My senses sometimes told me sth. is not right. I couldn't think someone could be so evil.
🎉zombie like state is right .gaslighting sent me feeling like crazy .I got sicker and sicker untill I blocked him . Now I have my sanity back and I don't have doubts in my decissions. And my health is all nearly back . Life is great and I can openly love and spend time with who ever I want ( not romantically )😊🎉❤
Dear Andrew I'm there . I grew up with 2 narc parents and narc younger sister. My older brother Who happens to be Andrew is there also. I've jumped from one narcissistic to the next in romantic relationships in my 20s I've had a daughter to a narcissistic in my 30s and won full custody of her . When my daughter was about 14 our education on narcissism really began. We have been no contact since 2020 lock down. We are soooo happy She is now 18 we have a loving supportive and healthy relationship She knows the truth and I never have to worrie that she will be minupliated she can stand up for herself. Which is the best thing in life I could have participated in giving her. She had to take it herself. And she did I'm so proud of her. I wanted to tell you your smile at the very end of every video is beautiful. It's real. It is your true pure happiness and inner light shinning through so strongly that I can't help grinning every time. Thank you. It reminds me how far ive come and that make me smile with true happiness.
Now I have had to accept that my eight year relationship was a complete lie and manipulative relationship, where I wasn’t loved or appreciated, it makes it easier to accept the sad truth, and not look back . They are really good actors, and they will twist your reality. So sad people sink to this level of toxicity
When I get caught up thinking about the “good times,” I remind myself that the devaluation phase didn’t begin AFTER I did something wrong/he got bored/ whatever. The devaluation began at the beginning, during the “love bomb”. He always knew much, much more about what was going on than he ever told me.
It's important to take a step back and remember, how it really was. Over time, more and more situations come to mind, that were terribly toxic, but you were already conditioned at that time and tolerated everything, to make life bearable for you. But it wasn't... My date is the 15th of January 2020, when I left.✈ Thank you for this educational video, Andrew! Have a nice evening. ❤🙏🌿
People who were associated with the narcissist? Were they hoodwinked by the narcissist and became flying monkies? OR.. were they narcissists themselves and in on it? I have for a long time struggled to identify whom is which type of associated individual. I agree that eventually everyone reveals themselves- showing their true colors. The most important tool that you have introduced for the recognition of the distinction between the two is their past and present behavior. In my experience, if the present behavior mimics the past behavior, it is adios!!
Yea yes its true. Before I was in the narcissist relationship, my physical emotional and health status was in excellent condition but during and after the relationship everything went down. Seems not going better but continue to believe in yourself and stick with those bad things that had happened to you to keep going. Don’t ever go back. Keep fighting for your own happiness!
Great video Andrew. Well after the narcissistic relationship, I just have to think back to all the times that he hurt me emotionally by saying mean hurtful things. The way he would ignore me yell at me for no reason, the physical abuse. The times he cheated and lied about it I could go on forever. I remember that I get angry and that keeps me going forward, that keeps that monster away from me. I can't see myself with him ever again or anyone else like him. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words.
@BeTheLight624 Andrew, this video is packed with such essential narc wisdom, thank you! Save your emotional energy for yourself, you never know what you are walking into, high drama rage fits…etc…so true. The narc is all about emotional manipulation. Before you answer a hoover or love bomb, pause, listen first to any of Andrew’s videos and consider the truth there in. Reconsider before answering, using FACTS and NOT emotions. My hope for you is that you invest in yourself rather than responding to the narc. Use your gift of life wisely…make it count. I’m still working on myself. God bless you, heal you and give you His peace. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️❤️☀️🦋❤️🌎
Hello Love 💕 Thank you for the great wisdom & for educating us & Thank you for the great encouragement, motivation & inspiration. You are the best. You have helped me so much & others in this group . I have had a few sleepless nights but I am inhaling & exhaling . I am in control of myself . I will control my thoughts & emotions . Being an empath takes me to think of these narcs & it makes me feel so sad for them then it takes me into a deeper dark place . So I just have to remember that they are demon possessed & are harmful . So I pray to God for them & others on their path. Yes , I’m still losing my hair but I watch your videos & they take me to focus mentally . To take care of myself. To exercise. Set goals . Eat healthy . Meditate. 😅😢😊It breaks those chains . Praise God . Yes writing that list is great advice . I’m thankful that they are cut from me. Thank God. Thank you ❤Take care Be safe
Keeping a journal is THE BEST tool you can have. Note the nasty comments, instances, disappointments, their true character to remind you of the toxicity. He came into my dreams, in one he was dead, the other he had his back to me. Namste. Stay strong ❤
I was given a new phone number of my soon to be ex. My friend told me I was being naive not realising he’s moved on. She didn’t know he was messaging me, telling me he loved me, wanted me back, big mistake leaving etc…I finally phoned the new number after a few glasses of wine. He answered laughing saying hey, who’s this. Music playing in the background ( clubbing music) laughing, yelling..a party going on. Thing is I’d just texted on his old number and apparently he was home, sad, diabetes bad, lost, upset….married 30 years, he’s 70 and in a club in Benidorm…I’m shocked, that I am shocked. I’ve always thought of my husband as a victim, a vulnerable narcissist if you will. Though I’ve followed Andrew from the beginning I decided my husband was a bit different, accidentally narcissistic….I get it now. They do want to tear you down. I’m in UK nursing my dying mum and he still wants to tear me down. These people maybe victims of their childhood but boy do they make victims of others in their adulthood
Thank you for these great reminders of how life with the narcissist was for me for over 20 years, Andrew. It is mind boggling how the narcissist would do what they do to a person they supposedly professed to love although I realize and accept it was all true. I don't have any confusion in my mind about who the narcissist really was/is deep down. Glad to be divorced for almost 9 years and healing. Namaste. 🙏 ❤️
@@gratefultobehere Hi Chelsea, thank you! You're helping me too! We're all helping each other. I hope you are feeling better and that the coursework is progressing for you at a comfortable pace! With love, Holly ❤️🙏😇😇😇
Andrew, you are explaining my life exactly. Im 2 months no-contact and im still trying to process what ive been through. My heart is broken into a thousand pieces and my head is in the narcissistic fog. With God's help, ill get through it. And thank you Andrew for sharing your experiences and for your encouragement! You're saving my life!
I see 2 thumbs down........perhaps 2 narcissist views of this video. This incredible knowledge has for me both freed me ......given my appreciation for myself , my life. I have had the amazing opportunity to help a freind in a narc relationship with some of my ever growing knowledge and put her in touch with this channel. I so value this deeply.
Yep he had the new energy lined up ..bye...oh hi ...I'm free , as of 5 minutes ago lol Moving right along ...so glad she appeared. Your advice is pure gold
It actually was that bad and worse. It’s hard to believe what we put up with but when you understand trauma bonding, it starts to make sense. So true, we do need reminders because when you think you’ve seen and heard it all, they pull something else out of their hat. I left my narcissistic ex Darc (David Charles Pardoe) then got stung by my sister who I never knew was a narcissist. Her mask fell right in front of me, honestly the hate that spilled out of her. Education is key. Another great video Andrew.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
It have been a month and some days of the separate, divorce process, and many times I feel angry at me, I'm a Empath, yet because of the marriage that last only 16 month, that only the first 2 where ok. And all along I knew, but keep praying, hoping, and taking in, on June 15 , 2024 was the day that his attack where final, I don't have to take this type of demon abuse, is not in the Bible at all, and God condem that evil behaviors, to the point that is a cause for divorce, infidelity is not only on the flesh, and people need to get a grip on that. Infidelity is abuse, selfishness, ego, etc. infidelity is not walking theirs words and promises. Words hurts more than a punch ! Stop giving the benefits of the drought, stop hoping, stop giving in to what's not going to change, and start making your plan for your way out, start looking in the mirror and take care that person in front of it. Andrew you are awesome, if it wouldn't be for you, I still be in this demonic relationship. God bless.. Namaste
Thank you for sharing..😌💜🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone (got emotional writing) I really do not understand why there's no law that actually protect us, because authorities the only abuse they see is the physical, that enables much more the narcissist to keep on doing what they do. There's no legal support for us, they can go to a therapist and put on one of their mask and here nothing happens and they are free to keep hurting people as they wish. Also there's public awareness no even what narcissist is. Wish there be a public label to place on these people, like they do with sexual offenders, but like other laws is not done because it violated the individual.
Discarded on may 17,2023. A day I will never forget. I thank God I found your channel. You have been my light in the darkness. Thank you Andrew for helping us all.
Separating from a narc is like leaving something dark behind.
You nailed it! I felt that darkness! I love being in the light!
they circle the bowl for ages.
I now know that leaving him was what I had to do to enjoy life again, the way I used to. I have some burning bridges to walk across because of that bustard. I'm beginning to realise that it was HIM and the way he behaved that others didn't like, therefore I'm guilty by association. Get rid of the narc. IT NEVER ENDS HAPPILY. (20 Years. Lost everything, hair included.)
Pray and don't be afraid, He's not going to forsake you. I got cameras in my house, but I also adopt a Belgian Malinois ( dog they uses in the forces ) 300 pounds jaw bite, but he's a bundle of love..
Love the comparison of people and cockroach 😂 because is Soo truth! Even the only friend I have don't even call me to check how I'm doing!!! Just my children's check on me. I told him that he may think that I'm walking on eggs shells, that I am walking on broken glass in flame, yet my relief is that I know when karma gets him, to remember everything he have done to me.
I am about 6 months out on my brutal discard. This video couldn't have come at a better moment, as they all do, Andrew. Never, ever in a million years did I think I would get hoovered, but... it happened. Although he is blocked on everything, and has not shown any interest or tried to reach out, he showed up at my home to return a cup of mine that he had. The universe is amazing, in that I happened to go outside at the exact moment he was walking up to the door to leave it. I'm sure he was going to leave it and run, as he looked terrified to see me. He couldn't look me in the eyes, and I really saw the lack of any Soul, personality, or light in this person. I smiled, acted happy and asked how he was doing. He said he was tired because he was up all night. I bet, anyway, getting hoovered does mess with your head space, as I found myself ruminating and thinking I missed what wasn't there. Watching this is reiterating all of the beautiful things that are actually happening in my life now that he is gone. Thank you, Andrew❤
Welcome 🙏🙌💪💯😌
Glad your life is going well now. Hoovers are like getting an electric shock.
It gets better. One day at a time.👍😀💗
✨️✨️
@@kathleencondit1660 sure was! Took a few seconds for my brain to register what was going on. It was like seeing some kind of ghost, literally. It was like a jolt, or a shot of a drug. Yikes
Just remember. If they’re not giving you a living nightmare, then 💯 someone else is getting it - don’t let it be you! 💕
I took twenty years of this shit. I now have no friends. Or hair. Actually, it's extremely difficult NOT to take it personally. And seriously.
The narcissist can change in 1 second flat. You don’t even have to say anything, they can think of something and turn it around on you even if they were the ones who did it. They’re sick people and they need to be removed from your life. That’s where I’m at right now, I’m trying to get away from a demon in disguise. ❤️🙏
@@lori-annefay4138Sorry to hear your friend was murdered. 😔
Thanks for the advice on leaving in silence and steps to take to be successful. 🙂
What?
me too!! the deeper I dive into my healing the more I realized she played me from moment 1
I was in no contact when I stumbled across him. He invited me to have a drink with him, he leant across and told me I smell good, he said "I love you" then he started yelling "F off, you did xyz" Jeeze. I left and am still reeling and hurting that I endured that.
I was married twice ….both to a narcissist. 2 different types but narcissists. Between the two of them I experienced everything that you mentioned in this video. To the newbies : everything that Andrew says is on point. Listen to him & learn. Life with a narcissist never improves, it only gets worse & you will get emotionally & spiritually drained. After the second disaster marriage I am now working on myself, learning about & changing the patterns that cause me to get involved with narcissists. Never again !!
Thank you for sharing 💯🙌🙏
Don't rest on your laurels. Don't get comfortable. Stay vigilant.
Perfectly stated. Thank you! 💞
How my narcissist ex friend moved out of my house
1. Disconnected my propane furnace. Left it on the floor.
2. Disconnected my hot water heater and refused to put it back leaving me with no water system.
3. Smeared my name to all my friends and ruined my relationships
4. Let a pet pee all over the house.
5. Silent treatment for years.
6. Gaslighting "you said" ect
7. Lying and financial manipulation for monitory gain.
8. Financial exploitation.
how I got free.
I evicted him and cut ties.
Refused to speak with him on phone. Kept all communication on the record. Writing only.
3. Told him to stay off my property and ended the friendship.
4. I don't contact him
Good advice: NO VERBAL, EVERYTHING IN WRITING. 🙂
Gaslighting AVOIDANCE. 🙂
Word salad AVOIDANCE. 🙂
I would have suggested legal action and still do. Good luck!
I agree with the legal action. I believe you have cause to go after him for at least vandalism . That is ridiculous.
True healing is when you can hear these reminders and there is no triggers, bitterness or anger felt .
They mean nothing .
Absolutely ❤️✌🏾🙏🏽
If you are TRIGGERED you are still PROTECTING THE NARC. (and your vanity and false identity as the "nice person". Simple. Namaste 💗
Getting there everyday. Some days I laugh at these videos, others I have to turn them off as it starts to bother me to think about my ex again. No more tears anymore though or anger so I think I've turned a corner.
@@daeclipse03 It is an emotional process. I would like to suggest you journal your feelings and reactions to the videos as well as your posts. It has been very helpful to our group members and myself. Blessings to you! ♥
Amen 🙏
Spot on Andrew. We need those reminders of what hell we were living in. Never accept a hoover, it’s just another attempt to finish you off. Once you discern you are dealing with a narcissist, walk away. Have nothing to do with those cruel and ugly people who are driven by evil and they know what they’re doing and choose the wrong path anyway.
😌😌💜💯
One month separated. Yes, the gaslighting, triangulating, lies, financial abuse and being his servant for the past 20 years all happened. You are spot on. He is trying to return to the relationship but I'm holding out. Maybe he didn't do so well on the dating sites as he thought. These videos are helping me, thank you ❤
A lot more people are getting educated about narciccism, so can identify traits A LOT SOONER!!! 🙂
Dated someone who "thanked " me for returning his call. ( Other women must have been LIGHT YEARS ahead of me in education about narciccism. ) 😔 I did NOT know about it then but discarded HIM when I HAD ENOUGH!
Thanked him for life lessons and ghosted/walked away. I was NOT EMPOWERING him as to what he did wrong, as then he would act in a different manner and wound more people.
Protected ( to the best of my ability ) other women. 🤷♀️
@@suesanders1169 Good on you Sue. I should have known better than to stay so long. I understood what narcissism was but became trapped in the cycle just the same. When you are an empath it's hard to alter your own nature. They prey on people who are kind and caring.
I was the engine that kept the narcissist's and my life going - our marriage, business, home, social, everything.
"THOSE WHO FORGET HISTORY ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT". Write the REMINDERS on the wall if necessary. Is for our protection to remind ourselves of our experience with the narcissist. ♥
I love the quote you have used, very apt! Unfortunately, many do forget and become complacent 💖
🙌💯😉💯
Bravo! I think this is the best use of this quote I’ve ever seen. To open one’s self to the hoover and narc, is to open one’s self to unleash a Pandora’s box you’ll never wished you’d opened. You’ll suffer from the narc like never before. Guard your heart.
That is very true, I did it two times. Fifteen years each time. It left me feeling pretty stupid. Some kind of a sucker I guess. I've been working on myself for four years now not at all where I want to be. My trust issues are over-the-top I can't even trust myself.
@@brianreed8271 The ESSENCE of healing depends on the "self" assurance of "self-worth". You are valued> Reason for your "creation and formation" you were meant to be "here right now". Believing in yourself is UP TO YOU and we support you and believe it to be so. Namaste 💗
6 weeks of no contact with the dark narc and I attribute much of my success to this channel. In the past, anxiety and euphoric recall would haunt me during no contact.
Not this time. I’ve seen the light. He Hoovered like he always does - testing the bait to see if I’ll bite. He doesn’t have me to regulate himself despite having 3-4 other sources of supply or more who knows. I can see him now lying next to supply #2 while typing me “don’t be mad at me” on his phone in the dark just as he did when I was the one lying next to him.
We owe them nothing.
Read that again.
We owe them NOTHING.
But we owe ourselves everything. We deserve everything we were so willing to give away to that black hole of a narcissist. And those days are over!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing..😌😌💜🙏
1 month after a reverse discard. The healing path has been all over the place, but slowly reaching the mountaintop where I'm indifferent. For anyone reading this, you CAN do it! You can leave!! Myself and everyone in the tribe has survived it, so please know you're not alone. Thank you so much Andrew for your wise reminders ♡
The more and more I heal and grow, the more and more the narcissist looks pathetic, weak and parasitic
I'm out 14 years, and I still need you Andrew and tribe. I am VERY socially selective and mostly a hermit. I never want to stop learning but never again in an abusive relationship. This includes toxic "friends". I still manage codependency. Freedom rocks, and better late than never.❣️
Hang in there. I’ll bet the person with you now (you!) is so much nicer than what you went through.
This is how I feel. It's been 3 years for me from my ex but then now I'm realizing I have to cut off some narc family members too. We've got this❤Hang in there.
@@Mara_143 ditto back! Stay in your lane, and keep yourself safe. Blessings abound.❣️
@@roslyncerro1263 Thanks so much🌞❣️❣️
I hear you 100% I am 4 years 3 of narcissistic abuse from a 15 year relationship, I have also started living my life as a hermit, it just feels so peaceful but I'm not sure if that is okay still trying to figure things out
The whole “abuse in the car” comment is so very real. I know exactly what Andrew is talking about. Thought it was just me experiencing this one. Narcissists are all alike!
So many of his rage-outs would be when I was trapped in the car with him. I would slink toward the door and turn my head to "get away" and try to block it out. He would huff and look at me with such disdain and disgust, spitting with loathing toward me, like I was the source of his problems. Like the traffic was my fault. Like the detour was my fault. God forbid I say, "Please calm down."
Andrew, I see you not as a coach, but as a messenger of God.
To heal, to understand why I stood so long (15yrs married, 20 yrs after ), to understand myself. To find why I let this happen..you hit every point they suck every once of life from you, till your at a point of death. Grow your independence, fortify your emotional health and study on what's killing you....this took me 20+ years to learn...still peeling the onion, but at a better place now at 60 yrs old...
Thank you Andrew, and all here.
I am finally free. I have been improving myself.
A good diet, and exercise.
I sleep better, more energy, way less stress.
I look better. Now it is me 1st, 2nd and 3rd.
Fist time for so long I look forward to life.
I love life. 💖💖
Thankyou! I'm 62. I have reached the pinnacle of indifference. It took 3 YEARS. I have no/ low contact with narc family members. It works.!! I'M FREEEEEEE
They LIE… very good reminders - all of this is so good and brings clarity. Thank you ❤🙏. And yes, for those questioning “was it really that bad?” Yes. It was.
💯💯💯
Chelsea, heeyy! 💕🖐🫠
@chelseapeterson, They ALL LIE..👍
Sometimes when you really think about it, its even WORSE than you remembered.
I'm. Virgo, so I AM very detail oriented and a "detail" will resurface I had previously forgotten. 🙄 😳 😔 😉
@@jannlewandowski5540 hi there 😊💖
They dont know what love is ,they live for revenge,drama and damage ,they live for themselves no matter what they done or who they destroyed
One thing you can ask yourself if you have questions about your relationship: who is carrying the emotional weight of the relationship? Are you the one who sustains it? Does the emotional component rest on your shoulders? The weight will eventually wear you down.
💯💯💯
The weight is quite exhausting. Gosh my shoulders have been feeling amazing these last couple months. I think it really hits us more physically than we knew.
The "WEIGHT" will show up in chronic illnesses eventually. Than you and blessings to you!
Thank you, Andy!! I dreaded going home because I never knew what mood the narc would be in. Scary. I started to have panic attacks. I could NEVER do anything right. My hope is that everyone in our community is blessed with strength and courage. May God bring peace to you. Amen. Thank you, Andrew for another great video! I appreciate it!! ❤😊
Excellent reminders, Andrew. Yes… we all need them. Remember, they LIE! Lying is a way of life for the narc. The intensity of the abuse you endured and the damage they inflicted on you my dim over time as you heal. But NEVER confuse that with the reality that not only was it as horrific as you remember, it may well have been worse. They never cared and THAT will never change. Thank you, Andrew for making this strong reinforcing video! Namaste 🙏😌💪💕
I think it was worse than I remember!
Great suggestion Andrew about pro and con list. The pattern I see is the pro items start in the beginning of the relationship (lovebombing stage). The con is everything else. Relationship is not beneficial to non narcissistic people.
Leaving them is a gift.🎁😊
When you go inside your body and realize that other people are projecting their filthy crap into your being, that's the perfect time to set boundaries.
Best comment on here 🥂
INSIGNIFICANT that’s how I
felt.
Me too 😢
Andrew your channel is a God send. God Bless you on your journey and all that you do 🙏🫶👑
🙏🙌😌
I had to learn a hard lesson about "performative empathy." I was on the receiving end of what I perceived as heart-felt empathy...I was given help...but after several years I was dealt a hard blow. It really blindsided me! "Communal" narcissists are the trickiest...if they are always doing such good deeds(for everyone), how could they have been so cruel to you(me)...?
I’ve watched your videos for about a year now. Finally going through my divorce and am completely indifferent. I’m so excited to get my life back! Thank you, Andrew!
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
I threw out my narcissistic 21 year old son, two days ago. For the last three years with all this Covid nonsense going on I have allowed him to have friends over however, when the friends never left and I told him they have to leave nobody left. In fact, he actually had one girlfriend living here and then once he was done with her, he had another girlfriend living here and I have allowed this to happen to me. Well I drop the hammer on Monday enough. I love him to bits but every Time he comes home from University. I have so anxious and nervous and upset Because I know he’s gonna ask me to have his friends over and I have to cook for them and then clean after them and then they stay overnight and it’s it. It’s insane last three years have been insane. I still am crying because he’s my only son and I’m alone now forever like really forever but I’d rather be alone trying to recuperate from this attack, then put up with it anymore. Or allow it to happen in my house anymore. Please pray for me.
I'm So Sorry as a Mom my Self i Can only imagine how that maybe i grew up with a Narcissist Mother who i would have never thought i as an Adult would have thrown her out especially after a year helping her from a Stoke but she got worse with her abuse towards me i had no choice i cried for a while thinking i was a horrible Daughter but i kept going even though i ended up with a Narcissist Husband which i am trying to get out of 15 years of hell but it will happen that I'll be free of him but i know its tough you will make it i promise i will keep you in my prayers i some day will be free and i want to be alone as well thank you lots of love to you and many blessings my friend keep your head up your heart open 🙏❤✊✌🌷🌹🌻🌺💐
Praying for you 💗
And Big hugs
Blessings 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You are my my prayer 🙏
PRO/CON List is the most valuable tool anyone experiencing narcissistic abuse can do for themselves. It is so easy to reminisce the good times, have amnesia about the bad times and fall for the pity-party lines and charming mask when they want you back. The Con side of the list WILL be much longer than the Pro side, read it and re-read it daily to remind you who you are REALLY dealing with - maybe include a third column headed 'Narcissistic Traits' and compare with your list of Cons, again just to convince you and make doubly sure who you are dealing with. This exercise is a wake up call, it's hard to deny the facts afterwards. 🐼
💯💯📝
Thank you for sharing 🫂 🙏 wisdom is our way through this 🫂
No pieces to pick up, no friend's, no family, no money and very soon no home... Even turned my sons against me.
They are MONSTERS 👹
Hey my two kids pretended to be loyal cause they wanted to gain from me, when i challenge them, bam i am an ass hole.
But a happy and free ass hole
@ISnoitcelfeR, I can relate to you completely and my heart goes out to you. I tried to keep the lines of communication open but I was discarded like a soiled dyper/ nappy.
I went for a serious operation and during my recovery something lured me to look at FB which was quite strange as being in a bad place, I came off FB for years to protect my piece of mind being in bad and lonely place and discarded by my ex, my Adult children and my own siblings, and then Bang‼️ I looked at my son's profile to see that he had gotten married, just days after I sent him a birthday message and we exchanged a very brief WhatsApp message. All I wanted to do was speak to my dear dad having no-one to turned to, but he had sadly passed away only a few months prior. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach.
I love listening to Andrew's wise words. I can relate and being reminded is just what I need to hear.
God bless you. We will survive 👍🏻xx
Hello Andrew and everyone. I left him over 12 yrs ago, and believe me, i will never forget the Future Faking and Gaslighting. They were the worst things to me. Trying to get me to believe I'm going crazy, and an engagement ring as a ploy to marry him. HAH! These things you never forget. If you were Hospitalized, that's easy to remember. I'm at peace now, but I will NEVER forget. How could anyone forget that they were used? You can't!
GREAT TOPIC ANDREW ❤❤
Hi Jann, how are you today? Hope you are not near the big rain storm. Have a great day. 🤗🙌💞
Blessings ❤️✌🏾🙏🏽
💪❤️🙏
I know what you mean 💜🙏💜
We really need reminders to stay strong, so true, I've been no contact for one month after recent word salad abuse and other things, triangulation was his favorite. My attraction to him faded out fortunately for me. I still need to remember to stay in check for my well being. Thank you,Andrew for helping us keep our guard up.
Every time I encounter a new person is a reminder. I see people as potential narcs that need to prove themselves now. It’s a strange but good place to be.
Hi everyone ❤. I'm here for Andrew's side glance and one of the most important messages in our society today!❤
Yes my physical and mental health deteriorated over the course of the relationship. I am still trying to heal my body and my mind from the trauma and damage.
I met him 14 years ago in a long term facility we worked at.
Then my grand daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. I took a leave from work and took care of her sister while she was fighting cancer. I had one highschooler at home then too.
The guy moved in during this tine. He was low key but not buying groceries.
After the good news that my grand daughter was healthy again (yay), her family got back to their routine with her sister that I was caring for.
This is when the guy slipped and fell on my icy stairs (this is a maintenance person for our place of employment), to me he should have been keeping an eye on that but instead, he falls takes a month off from work. This set the scene for the rest of the relationship. It was more and more about him, about his likes and dislikes. My highschool daughter graduated and within that year, moved out on her own.
The guy thought he should have some time living with his son, in MY APARTMENT. I agreed to a few months and I was good about it in spite of this kid eating all the groceries, leaving a mess and having his friends doing drugs in my bathroom. The last straw was this kid showing up, beaten and drunk yelling at me about how bad his parents are to him.
I snapped.
Told the guy to get his son out, told him to get out.
He couldn't believe me, until I was moving my furniture out the door, then he took his shit back home to his mother. That's where his son moved too.
I moved in with my ailing aging parents, and worked at that facility- I'm a health care aide.
I helped them both and loved them dearly.
I still had the narc buzzing around but not living with me (he lives a block away). This summer I tried a month of no contact with him and I felt strangely good. Like your videos mention, I was getting myself back.
My dad got sick, I let the narc back and regretted it.
Oct. 10th my dad passed away .
The narc said 'it will get easier each day' (the next day of my dad's passing).
I know what he means, he wants all this grief to stop and the attention to start being put back on him. He was bringing over his favourite things, like sneaking to move in with me.
I had an anxiety attack one night and stopped his plans. I don't want to have his agenda and bad moods in my life! I don't want him draining my resources and making me feel bad. I can imagine him riding out 6 months with me and then acting worse, then expecting half of everything I have. ENOUGH!!
Thanks to your videos, Andrew, I am keeping on track and getting stronger. There will be no 'hoover' this time, it's really over.
Beautiful empowerment..💪💯🙏😌
Thank you for being here for us , there are sooo many layers and just when I think I worked through something from the horror and painfulness , BAM - there it is and the floodgates open and I just cry and cry , but these post reminders are everything at these moments that hit me out if nowhere and I realize how awful and sad my 4 year marriage turned into 💔but I’m grateful and thankful for each new day even though it’s been 2 years now
''Got the popcorn and watched you implode''. I am crying.
❤❤❤Everyone Please Lock DOWN your Credit!! ❤❤❤ I did years ago & they are still going after me... 💪 Protect Yourselves!
My first step was to do this second was to get an alarm system third was to order pepper spray
I am 3 yrs post covert narcissistic relationship …. everything you just shared is 100% correct! Thank you for the confirmation! There is healing and life post toxicity!
Andrew you are a STAR! I've been following your videos for a while now and they have got me through many rough days. I feel like there is something extremely shamanic about you and your teachings/videos. Keep spreading this vital knowledge, you do it in such a unique and healing way. Much love from Ireland...... David 💚
This is the best video so far! I am 6 years plus after discard, 25 years of marriage and 2 kids and many years of expat life later… i hear you. I call it my ‘renaissance’. Struggling occasionally, but overall, thank you universe ( and Andrew ) for the enlightenment, the bad juju has left the building 😂💪🙏
Gaslighting is brutal! Absolute mental cruelty.
I did break out in huge rashes, living with a narc relative, when the covid news first dropped and i realized i was trapped for a time. Never had that before or since! Cleared up rapidly when i cleared out of there
💯💯😉
Hey hey Andrew!! Reminders are healthy! I know I can allow my forgetter to forget. The good news is that I am well aware and will not allow myself to stop learning.
I am leaving tomorrow for my revisit to the island I left. I feel so grateful for the support and love I have and my own strength!! I am recovering my power by simply going back for a vacation. This is my healing path. I will not fear bumping into the energy vampire! I get to choose how I react but the goal is to go and enjoy my past stomping grounds and build new memories!! #kimlivefree
🙏🙌😌💪
Just make sure SOMEONE knows your plans AT ALL TIMES.
Check in with that person when you are SAFELY back at your "temporary" home. ( AFTER you have checked EVERY ROOM and CLOSET, plus any other space you believe a person could hide. )
Not trying to be an alarmist, just a reminder about vigilance and safety.
Especially since things may have changed drastically since you lived on the island. 🙂
Wishing you safe travels and FUN TIMES on your vacation.
NEW MEMORIES!!! 😊
@@suesanders1169 thank you sweet warrior!! I am eternally grateful for any helpful safety tips!! Thankfully my new healthy amazing boyfriend is in the loop on everything and will be with me. Also I am grateful my girlfriend who still lives there is where we are staying at and the energy vampire fears her truth bomb talk track so no worries there. Plus he doesn’t know I am going to be there. We all have a plan if he does show up at any place we are at. My boyfriend respects and understands this is my healing journey and he is there as a huge support!! I love how God/Higher Power/Universe lined this moment and time up for me to take this step. Nothing happens by accident!! Knowledge is power and fear is FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE!! Thank you for the warrior vibes!!❤️🙏💪💯
RIGHT! Tell yourself what you need to hear to justify what you want to do. Good luck! 💞
Andrew 1 of the flying monkeys came to me showed me all what the narcissist said on his phone about me then tried to take the narcissists place knowing I was isolated and alone,I have blocked this flying monkey and don't care if they make friends again,I don't want these types of monsters anywhere near me.please people be careful of the flying monkeys as much as the narcissist itself
Thank you Andrew, I was having a low moment today and feeling a sense of doubt which my ex would always make me feel like I’m not able to make decisions in the past. It’s been six months now and this has been a incredibly but healing experience and journey that my life has been through. Thanks for this video for reminding myself and others of how far we came and how far we are to reaching that moment of indifference and acceptance in our lives. You and others are angels and warriors in this fight .
Namaste from Tennessee
Amen to that. The day I've had had been full of doubts and just a touch of despair, but imagine if I hadn't left? I might not be here at all. 😢❤
@@cc1k435❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👍
Thank you for the reminder. We all need to hear these reminders at times...no coincidence; perfect timing. You're a 🪨 for so many of us. 🙏❤️✨️
sherwayne4, how are you today? 👍💗🖐
@@jannlewandowski5540 I am doing fairly well. Received 2 of my favorite flowers today. One on Andrews post this morning, and met a friend who gave me one in person, because she knew they're my fav. Beautiful gesture. Hope you are well, and have a beautiful rest of your day. 💖💖
Your dead right Andrew,,,,the narcissist would never "Man Up" there very Weak.,,,💡💡❤
Hey Flower!!! 🙌🙌🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗🌺🌸🍀🌻🫶✌️🌼🌷
Bullies and cowards. The narc. 💞
For me there’s an imprint that I will never forget what was done the reminders are 💯 needed to ensure you never fall into another relationship like that the boundaries work true friendships will except 🙏💕
😅it has taken me years to find out who I am and reality was in fact, reality. I would encourage all on this channel to look back to find your truth. You deserve this
💗💃 If the narcissist/toxic person says they have seen a therapist, tell them not a good enough one 🤣.
10 years BPD relationship, 12 years grandiose Narcissist, 3 years vulnerable Narcissist . I broke it off with both these Narcissist women. I'm so glad I didn't allow them to disguard me. Andrew you have helped me so much! Beautiful sir!
New to this channel. I was discarded by my narc mother and flying monkey sister after the death of my dad a couple of weeks ago. The pain is very real. I knew them for what they were for many years, my dad was the enabler but I was still Daddy's girl and my feelings about him are confusing. He was supposed to protect me from the mental and emotional abuse but he didn't, and he couldn't in the end because he was abused in his final days. Yes, I was triangulated my entire life. I feel like my entire family died when my father passed away. And I'm feeling lost yet free, I don't know if that makes any sense. Thanks so much for your channel, it's been helping me a lot over the past few days.
I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. To have first lost your father and then be discarded by your narc mother and flying monkey sister is just outrageous. These narcissistic people are like shells of human beings.
Welcome to the community 😌🙏🙌💯
@@angelalewis4213 thank you. My dad begged to speak with me the night before he died and they refused to call me. And I'm blamed for that. It's beyond disgusting. I'm working on finding my peace. His death has set me free, so it's a gift, really, and that's the only way to move on.
You will come through this time period. One day at a time. One week at a time. I think I grieved my sister discarding me last year, worse than my Mom's passing last year. I was super close to my Mom. It basically felt like a number of deaths because my brother also discarded me. Sadness is so heavy to carry in the area of one's heart. My loss was around fifteen people, because their families also did the discard. We share the same type of grief. Hugs. Keep listening to the videos each day. You will get further down the healing path.
So very sorry for your pain, my condolences 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
We veterans stayed in the sham marriage because in those days divorce was seen as shameful and you married for life good or bad .
I would tell the young ones to RUN..as far as you can before you waste your whole life and end up with chronic health problems in your later years..
Love and blessings from Bonny Scotland ❤🏴
Get out and don’t resort to self-destruction.. these POS’s are not worth it! Heal yourself❤
Reflecting back on notes really helps,
If you are with a narssist, guard your notes, donot let narssist into how you think,
My divorce was final on 8/25/23. I am FREE from the monster 👹 40 years with this sub-human. I won! I never have to see him or hear his f..cking voice again. I thought I would feel a little sadness because of the 4 decades, but NO all I feel is relief ❤❤❤
❤
At the 1st meeting, the narc told me they were a "puppetmaster." I took it as a red flag!
Just don’t feel guilty but just understand with the education clips on Internet , What happend. Find the answers of all the questions you had. Take your time and understand what was your part in the “game”. Don’t be angry use positive energy to find your happy life again.
This is why Your videos are good after the Healing. We need encouragement and continued fuel...Thank You ever so
Welcome 😌💯🙏
It’s like they all have the same playbook!
This came to my mind as well. So crazy
He destroyed my mind my body my finances. I am free now thanks for the knowledge you give Andrew.
I think it's also healthy once you have done your research and have gained an awareness of the toxic or narcissistic people in your life, is to detach and not feed any energy into them or the relationship. Take back you power and move forward
Hope everyone is doing well,t.y.Andrew,hope your doing well too, ❤️🌻🌟🌼
😇🙌💪
❤❤❤🙏✨💪💯🫂😘
@@mariageaney2362hope all's well Maria sending love and light bless you ,4days left ,back soon off holidays,💙💖❤️🌻🌟🌼✨😀💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
@@flowerpower4944 i am ok, thank you. Hope your having a lovely time.💝💖🧡🌻🦋🎶🌱
It is such a blessing to hear these messages as well as read the comments . I am getting stronger each day & I couldn't imagine where I would be mentally if I didn't come upon the channel!
🎀😘
I dealt with everything my health was failing my relationship with my daughter was destroyed i believe this person made me put my service dog down because she was jealous of the attention i was giving the service dog over this person and so much more and now I've ended things and things are improving with my health is getting better my other dog is now doing better and slowly working on things with my daughter.
Andrew I pray🙏 Archangel Michael surrounds 🙌 you, yours and other beautiful souls that may be in the path of the hurricane 🌀 or tropical storm by the time it reaches the Carolina's.
☮️❤😁 and other highest forms of abundance all 🙌! A great big Momma Bear hug 🫂 if anyone needs one as well! 😇✨️
❤ Much love to all of us recovering from this trap.
🙏🙌😌
Big thank you Andrew for your reminder, what a powerful message!
For people who grew up in a family who may not has been perfect, BUT: loving, it is especially hard to realize the games the narcissistis is capaple to play. In my journey towards healing I do look back after I separated from him when I realized he was so toxic, in disguise. My senses sometimes told me sth. is not right. I couldn't think someone could be so evil.
🎉zombie like state is right .gaslighting sent me feeling like crazy .I got sicker and sicker untill I blocked him . Now I have my sanity back and I don't have doubts in my decissions. And my health is all nearly back . Life is great and I can openly love and spend time with who ever I want ( not romantically )😊🎉❤
Many will NOT FORGET but ALL are tempted to MINIMIZE. (is a form of ""saving face") well known & understood phenomenon in psychology. NAMASTE ♥
Namaste 🙏🙌😌
Dear Andrew I'm there . I grew up with 2 narc parents and narc younger sister. My older brother Who happens to be Andrew is there also. I've jumped from one narcissistic to the next in romantic relationships in my 20s I've had a daughter to a narcissistic in my 30s and won full custody of her . When my daughter was about 14 our education on narcissism really began. We have been no contact since 2020 lock down. We are soooo happy She is now 18 we have a loving supportive and healthy relationship She knows the truth and I never have to worrie that she will be minupliated she can stand up for herself. Which is the best thing in life I could have participated in giving her. She had to take it herself. And she did I'm so proud of her.
I wanted to tell you your smile at the very end of every video is beautiful. It's real. It is your true pure happiness and inner light shinning through so strongly that I can't help grinning every time. Thank you. It reminds me how far ive come and that make me smile with true happiness.
Now I have had to accept that my eight year relationship was a complete lie and manipulative relationship, where I wasn’t loved or appreciated, it makes it easier to accept the sad truth, and not look back . They are really good actors, and they will twist your reality. So sad people sink to this level of toxicity
When I get caught up thinking about the “good times,” I remind myself that the devaluation phase didn’t begin AFTER I did something wrong/he got bored/ whatever. The devaluation began at the beginning, during the “love bomb”. He always knew much, much more about what was going on than he ever told me.
It's important to take a step back and remember, how it really was.
Over time, more and more situations come to mind, that were terribly toxic, but you were already conditioned at that time and tolerated everything, to make life bearable for you.
But it wasn't...
My date is the 15th of January 2020, when I left.✈
Thank you for this educational video, Andrew! Have a nice evening.
❤🙏🌿
lios583, we won't forget those monsters! 👹
May January 15th be a day of celebration for the rest of your life! Blessings to you! Namaste ❤
@@jannlewandowski5540 no. we will not, but we learned...😊
@@lourdesecheverria6209congrats, all the best for you 🎉❤
Andrew is so consistent with his messages, that’s how you know it’s truth. No extra fluff. I appreciate the straightforwardness as well.. 🙌🏽🌻
People who were associated with the narcissist? Were they hoodwinked by the narcissist and became flying monkies? OR.. were they narcissists themselves and in on it? I have for a long time struggled to identify whom is which type of associated individual. I agree that eventually everyone reveals themselves- showing their true colors. The most important tool that you have introduced for the recognition of the distinction between the two is their past and present behavior. In my experience, if the present behavior mimics the past behavior, it is adios!!
Yea yes its true. Before I was in the narcissist relationship, my physical emotional and health status was in excellent condition but during and after the relationship everything went down. Seems not going better but continue to believe in yourself and stick with those bad things that had happened to you to keep going. Don’t ever go back. Keep fighting for your own happiness!
Andrew thanks for this. You are 100 percent correct as always. Thankful to be free from the Narcissist!
Great video Andrew. Well after the narcissistic relationship, I just have to think back to all the times that he hurt me emotionally by saying mean hurtful things. The way he would ignore me yell at me for no reason, the physical abuse. The times he cheated and lied about it I could go on forever. I remember that I get angry and that keeps me going forward, that keeps that monster away from me. I can't see myself with him ever again or anyone else like him. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words.
Welcome 🙏🙌😌
@BeTheLight624
Andrew, this video is packed with such essential narc wisdom, thank you! Save your emotional energy for yourself, you never know what you are walking into, high drama rage fits…etc…so true. The narc is all about emotional manipulation. Before you answer a hoover or love bomb, pause, listen first to any of Andrew’s videos and consider the truth there in. Reconsider before answering, using FACTS and NOT emotions. My hope for you is that you invest in yourself rather than responding to the narc. Use your gift of life wisely…make it count. I’m still working on myself.
God bless you, heal you and give you His peace. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️❤️☀️🦋❤️🌎
Hello Love 💕 Thank you for the great wisdom & for educating us & Thank you for the great encouragement, motivation & inspiration. You are the best. You have helped me so much & others in this group . I have had a few sleepless nights but I am inhaling & exhaling . I am in control of myself . I will control my thoughts & emotions . Being an empath takes me to think of these narcs & it makes me feel so sad for them then it takes me into a deeper dark place . So I just have to remember that they are demon possessed & are harmful . So I pray to God for them & others on their path. Yes , I’m still losing my hair but I watch your videos & they take me to focus mentally . To take care of myself. To exercise. Set goals . Eat healthy . Meditate. 😅😢😊It breaks those chains . Praise God . Yes writing that list is great advice . I’m thankful that they are cut from me. Thank God. Thank you ❤Take care Be safe
Y’all be careful wit that rain 🌧️ storm! Peace ✌🏾 Andrew!
Keeping a journal is THE BEST tool you can have. Note the nasty comments, instances, disappointments, their true character to remind you of the toxicity. He came into my dreams, in one he was dead, the other he had his back to me. Namste. Stay strong ❤
📝💯💜🙌
I used to see him with his other supply cheating on me in my dreams. Several times. My intuition was revealing the truth!
I was given a new phone number of my soon to be ex. My friend told me I was being naive not realising he’s moved on. She didn’t know he was messaging me, telling me he loved me, wanted me back, big mistake leaving etc…I finally phoned the new number after a few glasses of wine. He answered laughing saying hey, who’s this. Music playing in the background ( clubbing music) laughing, yelling..a party going on. Thing is I’d just texted on his old number and apparently he was home, sad, diabetes bad, lost, upset….married 30 years, he’s 70 and in a club in Benidorm…I’m shocked, that I am shocked. I’ve always thought of my husband as a victim, a vulnerable narcissist if you will. Though I’ve followed Andrew from the beginning I decided my husband was a bit different, accidentally narcissistic….I get it now. They do want to tear you down. I’m in UK nursing my dying mum and he still wants to tear me down. These people maybe victims of their childhood but boy do they make victims of others in their adulthood
Thank you for these great reminders of how life with the narcissist was for me for over 20 years, Andrew. It is mind boggling how the narcissist would do what they do to a person they supposedly professed to love although I realize and accept it was all true. I don't have any confusion in my mind about who the narcissist really was/is deep down. Glad to be divorced for almost 9 years and healing. Namaste. 🙏 ❤️
And you’re not only healing, but helping others too. Thank you ❤️🙏💪
@@gratefultobehere Hi Chelsea, thank you! You're helping me too! We're all helping each other. I hope you are feeling better and that the coursework is progressing for you at a comfortable pace! With love, Holly ❤️🙏😇😇😇
@@hollylorn131 😊❤️🙏 I hope you’re feeling great yourself!
The trees behind you are so still!
The calm before the storm!
Do be safe. We all love you.
Prayers and blessings through the storm.
Andrew, you are explaining my life exactly. Im 2 months no-contact and im still trying to process what ive been through. My heart is broken into a thousand pieces and my head is in the narcissistic fog. With God's help, ill get through it. And thank you Andrew for sharing your experiences and for your encouragement! You're saving my life!
I see 2 thumbs down........perhaps 2 narcissist views of this video.
This incredible knowledge has for me both freed me ......given my appreciation for myself , my life.
I have had the amazing opportunity to help a freind in a narc relationship with some of my ever growing knowledge and put her in touch with this channel.
I so value this deeply.
Yep he had the new energy lined up ..bye...oh hi ...I'm free , as of 5 minutes ago lol Moving right along ...so glad she appeared. Your advice is pure gold
😌💯🙏🙌
It actually was that bad and worse. It’s hard to believe what we put up with but when you understand trauma bonding, it starts to make sense.
So true, we do need reminders because when you think you’ve seen and heard it all, they pull something else out of their hat.
I left my narcissistic ex Darc (David Charles Pardoe) then got stung by my sister who I never knew was a narcissist. Her mask fell right in front of me, honestly the hate that spilled out of her.
Education is key. Another great video Andrew.
Glad I can see it, gaslighting that is. People triangle others in when in conflict with me... another choice tactic.