I IDENTIFY AS ASEXUAL!! Sorry I’ve never expressed that to anyone 🙂 Im glad there is youtubers that are out there to educate people on stuff like this ❤️
That’s what makes life so beautiful :) so many occasions where one choice could change your whole life or how thing fall in place. Ik ive been thinking too much about parallel universes 😂
This may my confusion speaking... But I hate the complexity. I can’t figure out if I’m aro/ace or jest mentally broken! Or if I’m just in some kind of denial because fun fact humans do THAT too! i can look at someone and think they look pretty, but I have never felt what I could define as sexual attraction. and every single time I let myself be vulnerable with someone I think I have a crush, but the feeling is gone within a day. and I got a gf one time, she lived 600 miles away but the moment we decided to date I felt really trapped and like it wasn’t right. so I broke it off with her. So I’m literally so goddamn confused because I’m just 15, and maybe those feelings will change for me, but I don’t wanna have to wait to find out I just wanna know now
@@annymus4502 I tried being in a relationship and it was hell. I felt like I was lying to them and using them just for their body. I'm thinking it's mostly just me needing a physical contact because I have been pretty distant physically and emotionally so I try to hug people a bit more.
Hope you enjoy this! It was a TON of work to delegate and put together, so if you feel like hitting that like button, go for it! You identify as Ace, speak up in the comments :D Lets have a party and talk about our identities :)
If It wasn't for your abc's of lgbt videos I would have never found out I'm asexual Mainly because I didn't know it existed For this I thank you so much
I'm so glad this series exists!! I'm a Demiromantic Demisexual a Genderqueer person, so educating people about the gender spectrum the asexual spectrum is super duper important to me, thank you for putting so much time and effort into this!! It's amazing! (Ps. Your channel in general is just amazing, thank you for doing what you do ❤️)
To people complaining about all the labels: YES, I agree that there are a lot of them. I don't think anyone expects you to remember them all (I sure as heck don't). If the topic of sexuality comes up, and someone wants to just call me asexual and be done with it, that's more than okay. My take on the video is that it's just interesting (and a bit refreshing) to hear about a variety of experiences characterized by a lack of sexual attraction and/or desire.
well yea... with terms like Ace Flux that allow people to be asexual until they aren't anymore, yea it should confuse you. a lot of this video makes sense... some just makes no sense at all. no fault of the people presenting the information, just the terms themselves are sometimes way too general or flexible
Holy shit, I've only watched the first 3 minutes and only just cleared the intro, but you seem to have put so much work and effort into these videos, not least of all timestamping each and every one of those terms, that I already say kudos! I'm flabbergasted. Thanks for educating ignorant folk like me. I'm excited and curious to learn more. =)
I identify as bisexual and always have done, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to figure out where you fall on the asexual/romantic spectrum and I wish everyone good luck and happiness in finding themselves. However don't get caught up in trying to label yourself as sexualities and preferences are different for everyone :) you don't need labels, just do you
+Becca Davies Yes, for some people it is pretty difficult, but for me, personally - when I saw the definition of lithromantic I almost cried and was 1000000% sure that's me :)
That actually means a lot to me! I identified as bisexual for a long time but I have never really dated anyone because I just didn't feel like I was attracted to them enough to start a relationship. I became really self-concious as to why it was so easy for everyone to find someone whereas I, liking both genders, struggle so much. I was soo happy to read about ace/aro, but I am still not sure. It did help me to feel better about myself though - I am not alone :)
Yeah I heard that if they're married they HAVE to have sex or something? And I heard there was this Catholic priest who refused to let a couple marry only because the bride was in a wheelchair and couldn't have sex. It's honestly ridiculous.
@Victoria's Rose yeah apparently if you are married and don't have sex, the marriage is "illegitimate" and can be annuled by a priest. And I remember going onto a Catholic site where one person said to a woman who wanted marriage without sex that it was "against God" and they said "if you aren't interested in sex, why would you get married?" I know that this isn't all Catholics but the rules about marriage tend to be against us unfortunately.
is aromantic asexuality a thing? I think that's what I am, I've realized that I've never wanted an actual romance, no touching, no nothing, just a very, very strong friendship i guess. I also hate the idea of sex, so. I'm just a little confused if I can be both
nostalgic ryn _Yes!_ 🙌🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Aromantic Asexuality is actually the complete asexuality! They only experience platonic friendships and aesthetic attraction.
Wow. Thank you for taking the extraordinary amount of time and effort this must have taken to help educate people on asexuality. We certainly didn't know about most of these terms. It's great that you got so many collaborators on board to help with the project. We'll be watching all three parts. Well done!!
There's actually a saying in the asexual community that involves cake. Like, "I want cake not sex." On AVEN (an asexual website), people typically use cake icons to greet newcomers.
I love this video (this is like the 54th time I've watched it) because I'm ace/aro. I haven't had good experienced within most of the community (someone once called me heartless because I don't feel romantic attraction, and I've been called a plant and the other typical insults for ace people). So it is really nice to see someone spreading awareness to such a large amount of people, and spreading positive and non-offensive information!
Wow I'm so sorry the only issues I have with the committee this far has been trying to explain my sexuality. I feel so sorry for you. Just threaten voodu on people who say that 😅 sorry just lightening the mood... I hope you have a better experience in the LGBTQ+ community
Nope! Us cupioromantics are a small branch of the aro-spectrum, but we're still here! It was such a relief to me to see that other people had the same feelings and that I wasn't alone!
This was the first video that I watched when I thought I was ace, I was right. Its sad that so many people think it's not real asexuality and aromantisism is a sickness. I'm ace and proud.💜💜
I know what you mean, I have never been interested in a romantic relationship but only really realised it/became aware of the aromantic spectrum when I was about 13. It hasn't anything to do with how old you are. I am physically unable to feel attracted to anyone either romantically or sexually. I never really understood why because no one in my house talks about it, so I spent years not knowing if there was something wrong with me. I am now completely comfortable with myself and actually realised recently that I was also genderfluid. Sorry that this is so long, I haven't actually come out to my family about it and so the internet is the only place I can really talk about it.
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia) I wonder about that, too. But I guess there's not enough research. Especially for things like lithromanticism (I ID as lith)... It is often linked with commitment issues and there's no ''professional'' info about this orientation. I'm really curious what a psychologys would say about it and shit like that. But if no one talks about it, no one will do research and there won't be any education about it in school.
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia) Not everyone is accepting of different sexual orientations. Kids aren't told same-sex attraction is normal, so it only makes sense that students aren't told about all the possible sexual orientations there are when most people don't believe they exist or think the orientations are wrong. (Goodness knows I wish I knew about asexuality when I was still in school, it would've made me so much less confused!)
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia) Unfortunately everyone will be affected by that, particularly the people who are extremely against such a 'disgusting' subject. It's like a mental health type of course if it actually becomes a thing. Maybe bundled in with religious studies.
+Ensembless Here are a few orientations I didn't see in the video: Fraysexual- Essentially the opposite of demisexual. You are sexually attracted to someone until you have an emotional connection with them, and then you no longer are sexually attracted to them. Sapiosexual- Being attracted to intelligence rather than looks. Those modest bastards. I apologize if these end up in the second part :)
+Ensembless Why dont you make a video response ?? and send it to the email provided she has a entire series dedicated to things she misses out and spends more time on them :)
+Ensembless I actually posted a comment about fraysexuality, and may make a video about it if I can get to it. I don't know too much about sapiosexual though, but I'll try to research it and if I feel like I know enough, I'll include it!
My friend : who do u have a crush on Me : nobody My friend : ur lying. Me : I'm asexual, and I just don't think about crushes and stuff My friend : oh. That's nice.
@Anonymous Girl most likely panromantic, but the most attraction I've ever felt was aesthetic attraction. I don't usually see people as 'I wanna date them' but sometimes I lowkey do think that. It's not limited to genders so I'd say panromantic. wbu?
Salty Potatoes Oof, I know I’m ace I know I’m cisgender But I don’t know my romantic orientation I do feel aesthetic attraction toward everyone, but I don’t know why I can’t fall in love even though I want to SO BADLY I identify as a mess
I cried here because I never really had something to study and understand what I felt. And was so confused because my parents are traditional Asian parents and it is so hard to understand social expectations and other social aspects for me. :’)
I totally get demisexual, but aren't most people demiromantic? I mean, doesn't it basically mean that you need to get to know someone before you have romantic feelings? I feel like that's just how relationships are meant to work. if anyone can explain further, let me know!
+Ollie Chadra The way i think of it is with crushes people who aren't demiromantic wouldn't obtain a crush on someone they dont have a emotional bond with. But by watching many 'teen' films you quite often see someone with a crush on 'the boy/girl next door' or the 'bad boy' who they normally havent even had a conversion with. Thats where the main difference comes in but it also depends alot of people define themselves as demiromantioc because the emotional bond they have to have with someone has to be a strong one, hope that helps let me know if you want to know anything else and i can try to answer :)
Also, even if most people are demiromantic, I think it's still useful to have a word for it and to be able to talk about it. Just like most people are heterosexual, but it's good that there's a word for it so people can describe themselves. And it definitely beats "normal" :-)
+Ollie Chadra Like the other people said, demiromantic people don't get crushes. At least, not on anyone but their best friends or someone equivalent. I've never had a crush before in my life (I'm 18). It's not romantic feelings, but romantic attraction they're referring to.
I had the same question. Thanks for asking this and thanks for the people who answered. I have a follow up question: do non-demi people just go about often getting attracted (sexually or romantically) to people that they don't know (let's define that as, say, more than once a week)? I'm probably demi-sexual and demi-romantic, so that seems very strange to me.
I felt this was super overwhelming X'D ...im just glad its a video I can replay. There are so many terms i had no idea existed! Also sorry to all WTFsexuals out there, honestly thought that part was a joke on how long the list was-but actually learned something when we came to that part of the index. Wooo knowledge! AND NOW IM SUBSCRIBED AND HOOKED ON YOUR CHANNEL. Way to go lol A(ce) plus
Oh wow! I find this highly interesting. I didn't know that they're where so many terms and identities within the asexual spectrum. Wow. U ,earn something new everyday. I loved it
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I have been looking for a comprehensive guide for ace / aro for so long, and this was (and is) so helpful, and has helped me understand my own sexuality as well as others. You are amazing
I LOVED the section on Gray! so glad you included Gray-romantic, as a lot of people miss that aspect and just touhc on gray-sexual, I identify as a Gray-Romantic Asexual and im so glad you put so much effort into this, getting actual ace people involved, Thank You!
I spy with my punk eye a skeleton clique banner behind Jeff! I'm asexual and aromantic, so seeing this video put a smile on my face. The A in LGBTQIA+ is often overlooked as just meaning ally and it's really amazing to see people who know that we exist. Also, can we talk about the intro music and the space graphics??
thank you so much for making this series and putting soo much effort into it! I'm also demiromantic, high five! also 7:09 I see a lil peep of a Carmilla poster...
The song just made me burst into tears! I am a hetero-romantic asexual living in a homophobic community in Utah. I don’t feel like I can be myself without people telling how wrong I am and that “I’m just a closeted gay” and “just need to get over it” before I found out about asexuals (when I was 18) I genuinely thought that there was something wrong with my body. This is so amazing! 😭😭😭😭😭
Some of them might not have been explained deeply enough. However, it is a nice introductions and I really appreciate the effort, I've learned a lot. Why do we need so many terms? I mean, aren't we all a bit different? Maybe we need these terms to have a reason (and also no fear) to talk about our differences, about which I've learned a lot in this video. Thank you
+SamoScopom I know for a lot of people the more "niche" terms are wishing to give a concise explanation of your feelings. They all fall on the ace-spectrum somewhere but for grey ace/aro people (or cupio-x, since that could really encompass ace/aro too) the "conditions" one experiences attraction under may be incredibly confusing to themselves or others.
CMSISHDNWB I'm so happy :))) as someone who identifies as quoisexual, it's pretty awesome to see this representation bc a lot of the time this sub category is left out. thanks so much for including me!! on a similar but different note, you didn't really talk about aegosexual, which is also a forgotten sub label :) i just wanted to do a shout out to all aegosexual people! (also, in case ur wondering, aegosexual is expiriencing a disconnect between the desired sexual attraction...did i explain that coherently and correctly? idk lmk xD)
I love these kinds of videos. Not only do you help people become more educated on the terms within the LGBT+ community, you also help people find labels that they might like or feel connected to in some way and help them find out more about themselves. 🖤
AhhHHHhHh! This is so gr8! So many cuties in this video and v many cutie graphics !!!! I can't even imagine how great of an impact this series is going to have on so many people. I'm just so happ rn !!
I'm Lithromantic/Akoiromantic and I've known for about a month now. It's a little different than me consciously being aware that I do not want to have any reciprocation, but rather that I realise I'm uncomfortable when they show feelings back. I've had romantic crushes on people (never experienced sexual attraction toward any of them) as I grew older, but I began to realise that when I either found out they liked me back or think they have a crush on me too I seemingly began to shut down and get uncomfortable around that person, even (sometimes) getting to the point where I would feel repulsed. It's hard to imagine how my future love life will play out if every time I fall in love I fall out just as quick, but I'm willing to find out.
im identify as asexual but im not an expert at all so correct me if this makes no sense but the simplest way i have explained my asexuality to my friends is: Some people like hot dogs, some people like tacos, and some people,like me, dont like either.
+Rampage_At_Dusk I am ashamed to admit that after reading it was a euphemism I spent a solid 3 minutes just thinking and browsing images of fast food to think of a fitting addition for anal. For the interested: I have decided on onion rings.
I'm so so happy about this video and this is so so important. It's hard for for people to understand what it's like for Demisexual's and asexual's since we live in such a sexual society but I'm so glad we're talking about it. I'm so happy to have seen this video and found out this information. No matter how many times I tried to tell people they could never understand exactly how I feel. I'm not a prude, I am not saving myself for marriage, I'm not insecure and this is not because of lack of experience. This is how It is. It's so nice to know you're not alone in your feelings. Demisexual✌🏼️
Thanks for this! I went 36 years not realizing I was ace- I wish I had known about it in my early teens. So glad this content is being shared for kids and youth out there. It’s great to learn more, this video was very informative!
I've been waiting for this since the video you posted on another video the other day saying it was coming out!! Cant wait for the others :) personally i know i identify with somewhere on the asexual spectrum that isnt zedsexual(new word i found in this video, i think i like it more)/allosexual, but then i could literally be anywhere else so i tend to think graysexual or demisexual depending on how i feel on that day. But I do know i am demiromantic which is why the 'sexual' part is a little confusing at the moment as ive probably been romantically attracted to about 2/3 people in my entire life and ive not really been that romantically attracted to them and i feel asif identifying as something before i have would be harder for me to come to terms with when i would still have this niggling doubt at the back of my mind, so im going with the flow but videos like this really make me feel more included so just wanted to say thankyou it really does help and the time and effort you put in was really appreciated :)
I actually didn't know about that stigmatizm against the term allo, I've been using it for quite a while now. gonna try to use zedsexual/romantic now!!
+Haruhi Fujioka I found it interesting, but I have to wonder why people don't seem to contest the term bisexual for the same reasons. If you're avoiding reclaiming the term allosexual because of its roots in clinical sexology, then logically, bisexual should be avoided as well because it was once a term used to refer to intersex people (similar to how hermaphrodite was once used).
+TheChocoXCheese I think a lot of that stems from the fact bisexual has been around a lot longer as a term and it's more ingrained and understood by people at large. It's also been modified by the larger bi community to include two or more gender attractions and not just the standard two implied by the name. I have issue using zedsexual, though, given the fact a large amount of the people that seem to be upset with allosexual are out and proud acephobes. Rather than legitimate worry over the clinical roots of the word, they just don't want us to have a word to use to describe people who aren't us, which is the entire problem with (talking to guy above you, too) using just "sexual/romantic". It's extremely othering and just not fun for the people involved, especially when we've been consistently described as an "other" pretty much since the beginning of time.
Bob Logical Ever since I heard that people took issue with the term allosexual, I knew something shady was going on because I never heard any complaints from anyone who was actually asexual. That explains it. I'll definitely continue to use the word allosexual until/unless I see that most ace people have a problem with it.
I have watched this trilogy numerous times, Ash. It is truly impressive in production, quality, enjoyability & content. But just now, I was particularly enjoying your soundtrack & mixing.
So I recently came out as gender-queer. Before then I identified as a lesbian, now I think there should be a new word for my sexuality, but I don't if one exists.
+Sophie Martin There is! Gynosexual! It means your attracted to woman and/or femininity! Unlike lesbian though, gynosexual doesn't imply anything about your gender :)
+Ashley Mardell Womasexual would actually be a lot better since gynosexual has basically become super transmisogynistic & transphobic in general due to the prefix's connotation changing to being attracted to "female" genitalia (I use quotes since genitalia isn't rlly gendered & there's no other way for me to state what it is w/o saying the word which I don't want to do in the YT comments)
+Ashley Mardell I identify as androsexual, and still don't fully understand it. Although I am genderqueer, I was wondering if a cisgender person could correctly consider themselves androsexual. To my understanding, androsexual can mean that you're mostly pansexual, but are only attracted to people who carry certain masculine characteristics. Which narrows it down a bit. I couldn't be attracted to a highly-feminine cisgender female.
Thanks so much for this!! I think I'm WTFsexual (I can't remember the real name for it XD) because I can't tell if I'm experiencing sexual or romantic attraction! I thought I was asexual, but this actually fits me better!
Yeah, I was in that area for a bit. I'm rlly conflicted. Altho this vid opened my mind n eyes to all the diff ways ppl are n sexualities that there are. I looked into graysexual cause that word I related to most... n i do feel moments of wtfsexual, but reading up on graysexual, the pieces fit together n it makes sense now. Glad u learned more bout urself too n found a label that fits better!
The whole video I was like: eh idk..... I'm probably wtfromantic? idk... and then right at the end when they talked about cupioromantic I was like: ok yea I think I know what I am now....
I'm asexual and I really liked this video. Although I don't really call myself one and only started too identify as one when I met and became friends with another asexual (whom I have watched porn with for laughs and giggles). The reason I don't really call myself asexual in normal situations, and rather just explain my own sexual orientation, is because of my passive dislike for labels, which also comes forth in my gender identity, in which I just think myself (and always have) as 'me' and don't really bother caring about anything else. Even so, the most absurd thing about my puberty was always the fact that, although my mood was on the fritz and I sweated like crazy, I didn't get crushes or start to find people attractive like my other friends. At first I just assumed I was a late bloomer, but when I had gone over all the other teenage things and still porn was just this really weird thing that I didn't understand what about it others liked, I realized I was 'not normal'. Luckily for me, I was raised in a family where 'not normal' was something all but one of my four siblings had, so I just shrugged my shoulder and continued with my life. Then I met that friend I mentioned and learned more about asexuality, and finally had somebody to talk about thing I never knew I wanted to talk about. Like how weird it is to not really wanting to start a relationship or have lose your virginity, now and maybe never, when you live in a society that tells you constantly that you just can't live without it and be happy. It's fun to have somebody to talk to who's similar, even if you had no real troubles in your life like some other 'not normal' people had. Anyway, sorry for the word bomb. You're the first 'about asexual' video I have found, and I got a little carried away. Great job though, many people don't know a lot about ace's, and some find it harder to accept no desire than different desire. We kinda fall into the background though, like ninjas, ACE-NINJAS. Loved your video, subscribed and liked. =D Your new fan, Þórir Pétur Pétursson.
aamyykins Me too! She's a huge inspiration to me. One day, you're going to be just as influential and just as famous as she is. (I don't understand why you aren't yet, actually.) (I think the highlight of 2015 was when she actually left a comment on one of my videos, then we had a brief conversation on my video about that comment in which she acknowledged my nonbinary-ness.)
Okay this is an honest question not hate: why do we have to label or put a name on all of these feelings. I understand the broad terms for sexuality but why do we need specific ones as well if they are just certain feelings we may have?
+Mikayla Anne You dont have to, its a choice. And by using these words we are letting everyone who feels alone and as if no one else feels that way, that there are so many people a word has been invented to cover them and its perfectly normal, it makes some people happy, so why not use them :)
+Mikayla Anne My thoughts exactly. Soon it all shatters down and everybody has a different name for their sexual orientation because there somehow needs to be a term for every possibility :D
+Mikayla Anne I know, I'm asexual biromantic but why can't people just say that they're either picky or uninterested? Nothing wrong with that. All these terms are ridiculous, it's like these people are saying "I can only be attracted to men/women sometimes while wearing a red coat standing under a street light on a tuesday evening. I'm an Xsexual" It's like no you're not, you're just picky!
omg yes! for me I'm pansexual and I wish we didn't have to have labels because of stereotypes. I know that's not exactly what u meant but I just want to say that.😊
because people want to feel like they belong, aces need a label because people think they are broken or to 'young' to have sexual or romantic attractions
Little confused as to whether the second term is supposed to be "aromantic" or "aromatic" (as it is spelled in this video). Is it a typo? Or is it some weird pronunciation/spelling thing?
+Nastassja Riemermann I'm going to assume you meant "aromatic" and say "that's exactly what I was thinking!" But I suppose aromatic just means something has a smell, not necessarily a good or bad one.
Just recently discovering this entire topic. It's relieving to know this is a thing. The world makes a whole lot more sense through this lens! Thanks for making this!
What is up with all these terms.. Every individual has a different experience with sexuality. Do we really need to make it so complicated? The queer community can simply not expect the majority of society to keep up with all these terms and their meanings... Don't misunderstand, I do appreciate your attempt to clear up common misconseptions and raise awareness. This is great! I'm just trying to say.. if we (the queer community) want to be understood, we should try to keep it simple. For every word/box we create, we need another 3 to include everyone. How about just; we are all different. Don't assume, just ask. If it's not a question you can ask someone without being weird, rude and intrusive, then you will just have to accept that you have no right to know the answer. Remember, you can be whatever you like, even if there's no name for it. As long as you are healthy, happy, and are not hurting anybody. Give a thumbs up for a colourful society! Man it would be boring if we were all the same.
+The Bullshooter This is so contradictory lol. Half the comment you're like, "BE YOU'RE SELF MAN! NO MATTER WHAT THAT MEANS!" Then your like, ".....but you know, keep it really simple" then your like "It's awesome that everyone is different and we have such a variety of identities" but then you say, "but don't be inconvenient. If too many identities pop up its just way to hard for lazy people to keep up." Lol, no part in this video did I say, "Hey society YOU BETTAH learn all this words and remember them! Or else." This video's mission is more like, "Hey, you might not know everything there is to know about this underrepresented identity. So if you care to learn, here is some info!"
+The Bullshooter Then we may as well simple down our sciences so we don't confuse people. Just like science, if someone is interested and inclined to learn, they will learn the terminology. If they aren't, then it can be explained when applicable. I go as "asexual" when people ask because it's the quick answer, but if someone were inclined to pry further then by all means we can have a conversation about it.
+The Bullshooter but words are great! I think the best part about giving every identity a name is that it allows those who feel that way to find people who feel the same way. Imagine searching forums under "people who kind of feel some sexual attraction sometimes but not other times, but always feel romantic attraction if they form a strong bond with another human, whether male or female" (...I'm feeling lucky)
+Ashley Mardell +Sceptagon +Becks Vegs I want to raise an interesting question; how many terms is it reasonable to expect society to keep track of? Where does the line go between accepting willful ignorance and demanding too much? I genuinely want to know others view on that. Most of us are fine, as long as we are not assumed into norms, but get to define ourselves. Very few of us demand that the general public keep updated on every single flavour of terminology. But when they do, it feels awesome right? We finally feel recognized and respected as individuals. (But why is this? That having a "box of our own" makes us feel so validated?) Does that mean that we need to make up a word for every different box there can be? I say, maybe no. If we as a society could ease up on the boxmaking, maybe we could get rid of some of the connotations that follow too? Ex: "You say you are gay, that means that you are not also bisexual." "Oh, you're a lesbian, are you butch or femme?" Who is to say that my definition of butch, is even somewhat close to others? This is the problem with comparing language to emperical science. Of course these misunderstandings can also be solved with further specifying (and an official dictionary), rather than simplifying, but; If everyone is to "fit in," We will need a box for every single one of us. Which we already have by the way, our names.
She kind of looks as if she had some Snapchat filter on but in a good way, I kind of find that pretty cool and original (didn't we anything similiar before) and the blush is so extremely cute *-*
+Alice Yea i have the flu and shouldnt try to think about these things. I'm a 30 yo man. I guess i'm bi. I appreciate love and affection from men. Strongly attracted to women though.
Destiny Price even if there was no label the people who choose to transition would still be attacked as much in my opinion. Only others would then create an insult to be the label instead. Alot of people find comfort in labels as it's concrete proof that there is more than just you 'if there's a label there is enough people the same as me for one to have been created'. I understand that not everyone feels the same and in my opinion not everyone should have to use labels if they don't want to, but stopping the people who do find comfort from having a label from being able to use one will make them feel more alone and less like they have a community they can fall back on when they feel excluded in other parts other their life
I didn’t understand being ace and jumped between bi, pan lesbian, and never told anyone because I was never sure. I ended up feeling equally uninterested, and now I understand it completely and I identify as ace
I wanted to thank you again SO MUCH for helping me - an Asexual Panromantic who felt broken and confused most of her life - understand herself better. It's already been 10 month or so but I'll never be able to thank you enough for this :)
I’m Aromantic. I have only ever had feelings for one person....and we’re friends at the moment. My feelings YEETED themselves out the window. Edit: i had forgotten i had commented this....
It just seems like there are way too many terms for these things. Akoisexual seems like it describes me perfectly, I'm a man and find women attractive, but have never had a desire to have sex or do anything sexual. But I don't see why there needs to be a label for that, It's simpler and just as accurate to say I'm straight and just don't like sex. I feel like everyone these days is always looking for a label to feel special. I don't doubt for a second that people can feel these ways, as in wanting a sexual relationship without feeling attraction, not feeling sexual attraction until a personal bond is formed, etc... but is it really neccesary to have a label for everything?
I've always felt akoiromantic/lithromantic. but i didn't find the word until 2 years ago. and before that I honestly felt like i was fucked up or broken. like i actually considered medication and shit because everyone around me didn't understand and thought there was something wrong with me. the moment i found this word, i was so relieved. because that meant there are actually other people in this world who feel the same way. and it made me feel a little less fucked up. so just because you dont feel the need to use a label doesn't mean it isn't helpful to others. i mean it can also just help with sorting out whatever feelings you have. i can have crushes on people but i dont want it to be reciprocated. i like romance books/movies and it's sweet seeing other couples in love and shit. but i dont want that for myself at allllll. but no one ever reaally believes me when i say this. and so it always hurt thinking i was just messed up. thats why the word helps a lot. because simply the fact that the word exists means others feel the same way and i feel a lot less alone. but idk maybe us feeling a lot less alone doesn't mean much to you anyway and in that case then to answer your question.. nah. a label for everything isn't necessary in your world. i guess in the end it just depends on whether or not you care if labels help others or not.
I see what you mean, however in my experience I've always felt attraction to the opposite sex, though never wanted to do anything sexual with anyone. I personally never felt bad about it, but it does kinda piss me off whenever someone says to me "You'll like it once you try it". I guess if I really wanted to I could identify myself as akoisexual (Assuming I'm understanding exactly what it is correctly), but it just seems so much simpler to say I'm straight and don't like sex, instead of telling people I'm akoisexual and then explaining what it means. But if someone feels better knowing there's enough people that there's a word for it, good for them.
I don’t feel it’s to make yourself ‘special’ but to find a place where you fit and words that can help people describe how they feel, because sometimes you don’t know
Labels aren't to make people feel special, but for people to find others and a community that relates to their own identity. There's so many labels that it may seem excessive, but there's always tons of labels in every subject, so why not for this one too ya know. Also, when ppl feel lost n want to understand their feelings, they look for answers, and it's easier to find answers upfront in few words to a single word if possible. To use a word as a descriptor, to identify with, so as not to elaborate and communicate with multiple words every time.
Thank you so much for doing this video Ash. This video has changed my life and I am sure it has changed others'. Thank you for making me and my feelings and confusions growing up feel heard and valid. Thank you for putting a label to what my experience is (some may hate it, but for such an invisible identity, it is a great relief for me) - and assure me that I am not broken, weird, or somehow need to be fixed. This video inspired me to do more research and finally have an identity. I have seen ace people going through years of self-questioning and pain just because some parts of their otherwise loving and normal relationship and lives are missing. I cannot thank you enough.
very complicated topic, but also very interesting and eyeopening. I do find myself in some of the definitions, but I think for me personal, they mostly come out of insecurity, like ithromanic and cupidsexual are thinks I'm feeling, but I think they would go away with experience. Thank you very much!
I knew I was grey-ro already, but it felt so nice to be validated like this that I cried. These videos are so important and just thank you so so so much for making them.
Why are we labeling EVERYTHING??? This is like a PowerPoint presentation for human emotions, and that simply isn't logical. We're trying to be all smart and political about this, just let people experience emotions without having to label every minor romantic or sexual detail!!
I perfectly understand your point. Labelling things (or, in this case, people) can very easily turn into something offensive. However, for people who are confused about themselves, who don't understand why they seem to feel in a different way as everyone else, this can be helpful because is telling them that they are not weirdos, that there are more people who are like them, even if it is not "the norm". And I talk from first hand experience. I still don't know how to "label" myself, but till recently I didn't even know 90% those terms existed and I've pass some hard weeks because I had started to question why, even though I consider myself as bisexual, I've never fall in love or feel sexual desire for anybody in my 20 years. Is it because, since I'm not a very social person, I haven't fount yet the right person? Is it because I "can't" get excited by another person (I do have been in a "sexual situation" and, apart from the natural physiological responses of my body, I didn't feel excited at all)? Knowing about all those terms and "labels" may help people that, like me, don't know what to think about themselves. I do consider myself as someone who doesn't care about what others will think about me, and yet, I feel relieved to know that what I am (whatever it is since I'm not sure yet XD) has a name. Finally, but not less important, I think that naming something helps normalising it
Given that around 99% of the human population is heterosexual, it's a safe assumption to make. Also, there's only two sexes/genders I'm not sure how that one slipped by you in biology. Perhaps more people would listen if you didn't type like a spastic.
a lable is a tool. Just like you dont NEED to always use a hammer, its helpful when you are building a hose. Continuing, a lable for an emotion its helpful to someone who needs it at a certain time. An asexual may not understand what a squish is when they feel it, but if they google it and learn the term, it may be helpful. Just like how labling atoms, electrons, and nutrons are not helpful to a vast majority of people in their daily life, but it is helpful for people studying these concepts and making breakthroughs. We dont stop labeling because it gets complicated. EVERY FIELD OF SCIENCE, just like THIS FIELD, is complicated. You know know every single bone in the human body do you? But it had a name.
people in the 99% may still need to use the labels when they are scientifically studying the concepts of human sexuality, which benifits frankly everyone
ash helped me in freshman year when i was barely figuring myself out. whatta blessing, it’s so nice to look back on this video 3 yrs later knowing myself a little better :))
I realize that you can't include every type of asexuality in these videos but I was kind of sad when autochorissexuality/aegosexualty wasn't mentioned. It's what I identify with and it's really under represented in the ace community. Maybe you could mention it in future videos about ace identities?
+Elizabeth Grosvenor You could make a response video, she has an oops series where she explained things she missed and makes a bigger deal about them :)
SLAY Wolf To be honest, it's still real, it just doesn't mean anything anymore. The "bi" in "bisexual" means "two." That means bisexuals are attracted to exactly two genders. Unfortunately, you people went and made two hundred thousand "genders." So it is far too vague in a world of Tumblr snowflakes
I want to thank you for this trilogy, it came as a weird realization, literally sitting alone, by myself, in my room, just, "I don't really want, or need sex. While I don't have a problem if I have a partner to get me in "the mood," my sexual encounters have been for my partners, more than for me." At least recently, when I was in my teens I much more into it, but in my late 20's it's just sort of... For my person, when I'm in a relationship. I was really freaked out, reached out to a pan friend, then a trans friend, who referred me here, then to the AVEN site. So thank you again, I feel like I'm back to being more of myself.
Hello, so I'd like to thank you for this video and the upcoming parts to this- because I know that i'm asexual, however i'm still quite confused where I lie on the scale, but I've been trying to find out more about asexuality in all ways, so I can see if I can work out what I think I could be (specially on the romantic scale) I find that I get a bit :((( about being asexual sometimes, like, I KNOW that asexuality if valid however I still feel like something is wrong with me and something is fucked in my brain, cos I've always felt like this but I didn't know about asexuality until the last year, but I feel really left out when people talk about crushes or sex and i'm just there like OooooHkay fine then i'm not normal clearly, and then I feel like well i'm basically going to die alone because friends that spend a lot of time with me hate me anyway, and I also don't really want to talk to my family about it all because I don't want them to tell me 'oh you're just too young,' [+]
Even though i'm 16, and I know that everyone around me at college always talks about sex and porn and stuff like that anyway. And I was doing some of those 'would you press the button' questions with my friend yesterday and I just felt so left out by them because so many of the questions were about relationships and family's and sex and I just sat there like: well. I can't answer these. Anyway sorry for the long comment, but thank you for making this series! I'm looking forward to it! Many thanks, Emi :)
+Embl I feel for you girl, im 18 playing never have i ever is a living nightmare its like ok, no drinking/fingers down for me today, but on the bight side got a high five from some guy for unapologetically being myself, you can find some people are a lot more open then some and are willing to let you be you, just have to find them :)
Wow! This is so much information, all at once! I realize more and more how lucky I am to have only struggled with my being gay. I'm going to play Devil's advocate for a second though... Why are there so many subdivisions of terminology? Why does every single person need an individual term? Can it go too far? What about people who feel homosexual attraction only on Thursdays? Or people who only feel romantic attraction in Montana? What if someone is sexually attracted to androgynous trees who are themselves romantically attracted to hypermasculine demisexual cats? Do they get a term too? Now, I know that this is taking it to the absurd, but couldn't it been seen that way already? It seems like there are new terms created every time you turn your head, just because someone feels just a little too niche for one term or the other. Okay, done playing devil's advocate. I know there's a lot more to be covered in this series, and I will watch with an open mind. Thanks for putting all this together! I'm learning a lot! :)
+Andrew Wilson Sometimes all these terms help people realising what they are feeling (or not feeling) and it isn't bad or weird to feel like that. For example, I've got a lot figured out about my sexuality, gender and so on. But what I'm still figuring out is my romantic attraction and this video helped me a lot. I find comfort in knowing that maybe I'm demi-romantic and there isn't something 'wrong' with me, just because I've never had deep romantic feelings for someone. So yes, this cluster of terminology can be confusing all together, but they bring ease and comfort to some peoples life and isn't that what we all want?
+Andrew Wilson I think the thing that's important to remember though is that it isn't "every single person" getting an "individual term." While many of these different identities are pretty specific, they still apply to many people (even just scrolling through the comments, you can see that a lot of people, after watching this, have finally found a label that sounds like themselves). These labels aren't to highlight individuality; they create community. One thing that is also very unique about the ace spectrum is that asexuality is rarely ever talked about. Obviously, heterosexuality is always exceedingly prevalent in media, and slowly but surely, we're seeing more gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender representation. A lot of it might be problematic or negative, but for the most part, everyone is, at the very least, aware that these identities exist, and that's incredibly important for people who aren't heterosexual or cisgender. Heteronormativity and cisnormativity are sooo prevalent in our society that having the language to describe your identity and your experience when you aren't heterosexual or cisgender is incredibly important. In a world where we didn't have problems with heteronormativity or cisnormativity, labels probably wouldn't be so important, but for many, many people, they are. Labels are validating. What's so different about asexuality is that is so rarely talked about - many people don't know that asexuality or the ace spectrum are even options for them. They don't have that language to describe their identity and experience. When you grow up not experiencing sexual attraction, or only rarely experiencing romantic attraction, or being very confused whether what you're feeling is romantic attraction or not, or if you're frustrated because you develop romantic feelings for someone that fizzle away as soon as they reciprocate, you can really feel like you're broken, or that you just have some weird issues you just have to get over. Not only do you not fit into heterosexuality, but hell, if you only know straight, gay, and bi, you don't even fit into the sexual minorities. Creating these labels, however, gives those people the language to talk about their experience and help them understand themselves. When you've spent however many years of your life desperately trying to figure out what your sexual/romantic orientation is, and you find out that there's actually a name for the way you experience romantic and sexual attraction, that what you experience is perfectly normal because other people experience it, too, and there's even a name for it, that's incredibly important. (Also, there is a huge, huge difference between the identities described in this video and the exaggerated ones you listed here... I know you're playing devil's advocate, but it's just a touch offensive to have my identity compared to bestiality...)
+Melissa C Thank you for the response! What I mean by individual terms is asexual is a blanket term, as described in the video, demisexual (at least, as I understand it) is the midway point between sexual and asexual. So, there's a point on either side, and a point that can slide around in the middle. Why then must the distinction be cut even further and further? I understand the need to find a term that fits each individual, but where does the division stop? That's why I used the exaggerated ones. I did not mean to offend, and I am sorry that I did. I was simply taking the point to the extreme. I know that these identities are nothing akin to bestiality.
+Nicky Rondelez I understand what you're saying. I am just worried that someone will come along, see how many different identities there are, and decide to create some absurd one for themselves, JUST to demean, belittle, and insult those who actually identify out of the norm.
HEY ALL YOU ACE/ARO PEOPLE
ur all lovely and i love u
Antique Trash thanx boo❤💛💚💙💜
Destiny Price go fuck yourself
Destiny Price deleted ur shit comment and there's nothing you can do abt it
Thanks love u too!💛💛💛💛
Ilyt
I IDENTIFY AS ASEXUAL!!
Sorry I’ve never expressed that to anyone 🙂
Im glad there is youtubers that are out there to educate people on stuff like this ❤️
Awesome! I am too! Good on you for expressing it, I'm proud of you 😄🖤💜
Us Ace's and Aro's need a PowerPoint, slide show and a puppet show to come out 😂
I've come out to everyone but my family so I'm proud of you 😝
I have only told my sister from my fam. I also identify as asexual
Mandy Roberts me too!
I had no idea humans were so beautifully complex...
Right..? It's quite amazing honestly
And that's just one sexuality
That’s what makes life so beautiful :) so many occasions where one choice could change your whole life or how thing fall in place. Ik ive been thinking too much about parallel universes 😂
This may my confusion speaking... But I hate the complexity.
I can’t figure out if I’m aro/ace or jest mentally broken! Or if I’m just in some kind of denial because fun fact humans do THAT too!
i can look at someone and think they look pretty, but I have never felt what I could define as sexual attraction. and every single time I let myself be vulnerable with someone I think I have a crush, but the feeling is gone within a day. and I got a gf one time, she lived 600 miles away but the moment we decided to date I felt really trapped and like it wasn’t right. so I broke it off with her.
So I’m literally so goddamn confused because I’m just 15, and maybe those feelings will change for me, but I don’t wanna have to wait to find out I just wanna know now
true
Is it just me or would ACE FLUX be the best band name ever?
+NatAnn64 Yes !!
That is my DJ name
Cyclone Official
too cool!
absolutely
holy shit. i have 2 ace friends that are musically inclined. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. we're gonna make a band called ace flux. hell yeah.
Im repulsed ace aro
I do want a platonic relationship though
Like i just wanna hold hands and hug with someone
Same lol
me too!!! I'm this comment
Dude same. I wanna be in a relationship but I cant love people. I might just be touched starved-
Weeb Potazo
Actually, that makes sense
How has it been? I could really use some advice
@@annymus4502 I tried being in a relationship and it was hell. I felt like I was lying to them and using them just for their body. I'm thinking it's mostly just me needing a physical contact because I have been pretty distant physically and emotionally so I try to hug people a bit more.
ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION 💜💜
Finally! 😂😭
Asexuality is like the sexual orientation that no one knows about. It's so hard to find a goid explanation
@_Ace_of_hearts_ nice
YEEEESSSSS 😂😭😂
Yeah most people just say LGTBQ+ not LGTBQA+ unfortunately.
AND ARENT THE SPACE GRAPHICS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL?!!?!?
IFKR YISS
+Ashley Mardell
I don't know who sings the song at the end, but I like it! Points to whoever wrote that!
+Emma Steeg thank you kindly ;)
+Adam Winney
Oh! You're welcome! :)
+Ashley Mardell They're majestic as cats on windowsills.
Hope you enjoy this! It was a TON of work to delegate and put together, so if you feel like hitting that like button, go for it!
You identify as Ace, speak up in the comments :D Lets have a party and talk about our identities :)
Thank you for posting videos :) You have made my day so many times! :D
Finally!
If It wasn't for your abc's of lgbt videos I would have never found out I'm asexual
Mainly because I didn't know it existed
For this I thank you so much
I'm so glad this series exists!! I'm a Demiromantic Demisexual a Genderqueer person, so educating people about the gender spectrum the asexual spectrum is super duper important to me, thank you for putting so much time and effort into this!! It's amazing! (Ps. Your channel in general is just amazing, thank you for doing what you do ❤️)
+Ashley McArthur I know she is amazing
We all love and thank you
To people complaining about all the labels: YES, I agree that there are a lot of them. I don't think anyone expects you to remember them all (I sure as heck don't). If the topic of sexuality comes up, and someone wants to just call me asexual and be done with it, that's more than okay. My take on the video is that it's just interesting (and a bit refreshing) to hear about a variety of experiences characterized by a lack of sexual attraction and/or desire.
I came here identifying as straight and now im just real confused 😂
Zoe Lewis don't we all
Zoe Lewis yeah this is very confusing
well yea... with terms like Ace Flux that allow people to be asexual until they aren't anymore, yea it should confuse you. a lot of this video makes sense... some just makes no sense at all. no fault of the people presenting the information, just the terms themselves are sometimes way too general or flexible
I came here for curiosity and now I'm also soooo confused
I came here cause my boyfriend said he thinks that I'm asexual and now my head hurts from that list
Holy shit, I've only watched the first 3 minutes and only just cleared the intro, but you seem to have put so much work and effort into these videos, not least of all timestamping each and every one of those terms, that I already say kudos! I'm flabbergasted. Thanks for educating ignorant folk like me. I'm excited and curious to learn more. =)
11:33 reminds me of a meme. "I used to be attracted to a guy but then I found out he liked me back. I'm not interested in people with bad judgment"
Lol meeee
Lmao
I identify as bisexual and always have done, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to figure out where you fall on the asexual/romantic spectrum and I wish everyone good luck and happiness in finding themselves. However don't get caught up in trying to label yourself as sexualities and preferences are different for everyone :) you don't need labels, just do you
+Becca Davies
Yes, for some people it is pretty difficult, but for me, personally - when I saw the definition of lithromantic I almost cried and was 1000000% sure that's me :)
that's awesome!! very happy for you :)
Mei Ki agreed :3
That actually means a lot to me! I identified as bisexual for a long time but I have never really dated anyone because I just didn't feel like I was attracted to them enough to start a relationship. I became really self-concious as to why it was so easy for everyone to find someone whereas I, liking both genders, struggle so much. I was soo happy to read about ace/aro, but I am still not sure. It did help me to feel better about myself though - I am not alone :)
I’m Ace and I’m still trying to find a label that actually fits. thank you
The Catholic Church is SHOOK
Yeah I heard that if they're married they HAVE to have sex or something? And I heard there was this Catholic priest who refused to let a couple marry only because the bride was in a wheelchair and couldn't have sex. It's honestly ridiculous.
One side of my family is Catholic, I don't know what to do!
@Victoria's Rose that's cool man, it's just there's something against us aces in the Catholic rules or something?
@Victoria's Rose yeah apparently if you are married and don't have sex, the marriage is "illegitimate" and can be annuled by a priest. And I remember going onto a Catholic site where one person said to a woman who wanted marriage without sex that it was "against God" and they said "if you aren't interested in sex, why would you get married?" I know that this isn't all Catholics but the rules about marriage tend to be against us unfortunately.
@Victoria's Rose yeah it is
is aromantic asexuality a thing? I think that's what I am, I've realized that I've never wanted an actual romance, no touching, no nothing, just a very, very strong friendship i guess. I also hate the idea of sex, so. I'm just a little confused if I can be both
You can totally be both! I'm both too, actually! (majestic dragon fist-bump) yo welcome to the squad
Thank you so much !! I've since identified myself as aro ace :)
Nice! it feels so awesome to finally understand something new about yourself, especially if you've been questioning it for ages :)) u a cool cat
very true ! thank you aha :)
nostalgic ryn
_Yes!_ 🙌🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Aromantic Asexuality is actually the complete asexuality! They only experience platonic friendships and aesthetic attraction.
Wow. Thank you for taking the extraordinary amount of time and effort this must have taken to help educate people on asexuality. We certainly didn't know about most of these terms. It's great that you got so many collaborators on board to help with the project. We'll be watching all three parts. Well done!!
Love your videos!!
yes, it's so great they research and explained something a bunch of made shit that applies to a small delusional group.
I think its very dangerous to get tips about sexuality and society by a 14 year old confused girl
Is asexual.
Me: (Sees video) FINALLY.
What asexual are you ?? I'm aro ace
@@cutekitten1185 I'm heteroromantic ace :-)
I just want some pizza .
yes same
There's actually a saying in the asexual community that involves cake. Like, "I want cake not sex." On AVEN (an asexual website), people typically use cake icons to greet newcomers.
PizzAsexual
You can have the pizza and I will have my cake 🎂 it’s interesting because even before I knew I was asexual I always loved the shit out of cake 🍰
Abe mood
I love this video (this is like the 54th time I've watched it) because I'm ace/aro. I haven't had good experienced within most of the community (someone once called me heartless because I don't feel romantic attraction, and I've been called a plant and the other typical insults for ace people). So it is really nice to see someone spreading awareness to such a large amount of people, and spreading positive and non-offensive information!
ThisImortalNerd I’ve been called a plant too! I might be gray romantic.. i do feel it sometimes but really rarely
But honestly plants are pretty cool, sometimes I'd rather just be a little succulent, content in my own little patch of dirt
Honestly tho, I'm fine with being called a very strong organism that can split rocks, create its own energy, and still look cute and smol
Plants feel.
Wow I'm so sorry the only issues I have with the committee this far has been trying to explain my sexuality. I feel so sorry for you. Just threaten voodu on people who say that 😅 sorry just lightening the mood... I hope you have a better experience in the LGBTQ+ community
Okay... I don't even know what I am anymore 😂
It's always okay not to know :))
+Agnes Lee its okay. explore what you are comfortable with. No matter what, you are you and you exist.
+XIIIthHARBINGER
"I simply try to maintain an understanding of the words for the purposes of communication."
Exactly my thoughts :)
+Agnes Lee Same here, but I kind of stopped caring which specific term I use. The way I see it, I'm just attracted to who I'm attracted to.
I am like: yeah.... I'm straight...wait I think I'm bisexual....no wait I'm demisexual?.....oh yeah I'm quoisexual 😂
I didn't know there was a word for not feeling romantic attraction but craving a relationship. I thought I was alone
Nope! Us cupioromantics are a small branch of the aro-spectrum, but we're still here! It was such a relief to me to see that other people had the same feelings and that I wasn't alone!
i iDENTIFY AS ACEARO HELLO FELLOW ACES AND AROS
Ayyy!
HiHIHIHIHIH
Heyyy
YESS
Yo!
autocorrect should really stop changing "aromantic" to "aromatic"..
Benimation OMG I have this problem far too often
IM A CANDLE
Just tried it, guess it's not changed still after 3 years. You can probably add it to dictionary though so it will recognise it as a word.
As a confused young person under the umbrella, this really helps me to understand what the heck I am. Thank you so much for making videos like this.
This was the first video that I watched when I thought I was ace, I was right. Its sad that so many people think it's not real asexuality and aromantisism is a sickness. I'm ace and proud.💜💜
I think I’m aromantic, but maybe I’m “too young.” I can be in love with someone, but it’ll never be romantically, and it’s so frustrating.
A Vu
How old are you?
I feel you pal. I haven’t really fell in love with anyone so I’m just confused.
Same
I’m honestly so confused about my orientation and I’m thinking I'm probably quoiromantic/asexual (both)
I know what you mean, I have never been interested in a romantic relationship but only really realised it/became aware of the aromantic spectrum when I was about 13.
It hasn't anything to do with how old you are.
I am physically unable to feel attracted to anyone either romantically or sexually. I never really understood why because no one in my house talks about it, so I spent years not knowing if there was something wrong with me.
I am now completely comfortable with myself and actually realised recently that I was also genderfluid.
Sorry that this is so long, I haven't actually come out to my family about it and so the internet is the only place I can really talk about it.
i am a straight male but I find this very interesting .
Glad you're open and willing to learn!
We stand open minded peopleeee yessss
*_*Respect*_*
Why don't we learn all this stuff in school? I sure that it would help alot a persons that are confused and need answers.
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia)
I wonder about that, too. But I guess there's not enough research. Especially for things like lithromanticism (I ID as lith)... It is often linked with commitment issues and there's no ''professional'' info about this orientation. I'm really curious what a psychologys would say about it and shit like that. But if no one talks about it, no one will do research and there won't be any education about it in school.
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia) Not everyone is accepting of different sexual orientations. Kids aren't told same-sex attraction is normal, so it only makes sense that students aren't told about all the possible sexual orientations there are when most people don't believe they exist or think the orientations are wrong. (Goodness knows I wish I knew about asexuality when I was still in school, it would've made me so much less confused!)
Alexander S Yes, even homosexuality is missed in school education, so I doubt any of these ace/aro identities will be included any time soon :(
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia) Unfortunately everyone will be affected by that, particularly the people who are extremely against such a 'disgusting' subject. It's like a mental health type of course if it actually becomes a thing. Maybe bundled in with religious studies.
+Alexandra Lariviere (Keralia) Because schools don't take their educative material from tumblr.
I absolutely freaked out when i saw this video. Even though I know 99% of the things in this video, it's so nice to have representation
+Ensembless Here are a few orientations I didn't see in the video:
Fraysexual- Essentially the opposite of demisexual. You are sexually attracted to someone until you have an emotional connection with them, and then you no longer are sexually attracted to them.
Sapiosexual- Being attracted to intelligence rather than looks. Those modest bastards.
I apologize if these end up in the second part :)
+Ensembless Why dont you make a video response ?? and send it to the email provided she has a entire series dedicated to things she misses out and spends more time on them :)
Alice I don't have a camera, lol. I don't like videos of myself either.
Ensembless Ahh ok :)
+Ensembless I actually posted a comment about fraysexuality, and may make a video about it if I can get to it. I don't know too much about sapiosexual though, but I'll try to research it and if I feel like I know enough, I'll include it!
My friend : who do u have a crush on
Me : nobody
My friend : ur lying.
Me : I'm asexual, and I just don't think about crushes and stuff
My friend : oh. That's nice.
Hi Ash!!❤❤ this hella helped me come out to myself as asexual 😄thanks so much!
2020 quarantine led me to discover I am ace
Same! Came into quarentine thinking I was straight 😂, then realized I am cupioromantic and ace-spec.
Edit: now aroace and non-binary lol
Same!!?
Same
What is you romantic orientation?
@Anonymous Girl most likely panromantic, but the most attraction I've ever felt was aesthetic attraction. I don't usually see people as 'I wanna date them' but sometimes I lowkey do think that. It's not limited to genders so I'd say panromantic.
wbu?
Salty Potatoes
Oof, I know I’m ace
I know I’m cisgender
But I don’t know my romantic orientation
I do feel aesthetic attraction toward everyone, but I don’t know why I can’t fall in love even though I want to SO BADLY
I identify as a mess
I cried here because I never really had something to study and understand what I felt. And was so confused because my parents are traditional Asian parents and it is so hard to understand social expectations and other social aspects for me. :’)
I totally get demisexual, but aren't most people demiromantic? I mean, doesn't it basically mean that you need to get to know someone before you have romantic feelings? I feel like that's just how relationships are meant to work. if anyone can explain further, let me know!
+Ollie Chadra The way i think of it is with crushes people who aren't demiromantic wouldn't obtain a crush on someone they dont have a emotional bond with. But by watching many 'teen' films you quite often see someone with a crush on 'the boy/girl next door' or the 'bad boy' who they normally havent even had a conversion with. Thats where the main difference comes in but it also depends alot of people define themselves as demiromantioc because the emotional bond they have to have with someone has to be a strong one, hope that helps let me know if you want to know anything else and i can try to answer :)
Also, even if most people are demiromantic, I think it's still useful to have a word for it and to be able to talk about it. Just like most people are heterosexual, but it's good that there's a word for it so people can describe themselves. And it definitely beats "normal" :-)
+Ollie Chadra I can have crushes on people without knowing them well. Not demiromantic at all.
+Ollie Chadra Like the other people said, demiromantic people don't get crushes. At least, not on anyone but their best friends or someone equivalent.
I've never had a crush before in my life (I'm 18). It's not romantic feelings, but romantic attraction they're referring to.
I had the same question. Thanks for asking this and thanks for the people who answered. I have a follow up question: do non-demi people just go about often getting attracted (sexually or romantically) to people that they don't know (let's define that as, say, more than once a week)? I'm probably demi-sexual and demi-romantic, so that seems very strange to me.
I felt this was super overwhelming X'D ...im just glad its a video I can replay. There are so many terms i had no idea existed! Also sorry to all WTFsexuals out there, honestly thought that part was a joke on how long the list was-but actually learned something when we came to that part of the index. Wooo knowledge! AND NOW IM SUBSCRIBED AND HOOKED ON YOUR CHANNEL. Way to go lol A(ce) plus
And this is the sex education I we all deserved in school and absolutely none of us got. THANK YOU DEAR GOD.
Oh wow! I find this highly interesting. I didn't know that they're where so many terms and identities within the asexual spectrum. Wow. U ,earn something new everyday. I loved it
This video would have been so helpful in my human sexuality class. We didn't really touch on this.
I find all these different labels and descriptions confusing. It's like someone's downloading the Pokédex into my brain.
Holy crap, you must have put so much effort into editing this!
+Altarialex SOOOOO MUCH
Well it was totally worth it because IT LOOKS FAB you did an amazing job!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I have been looking for a comprehensive guide for ace / aro for so long, and this was (and is) so helpful, and has helped me understand my own sexuality as well as others. You are amazing
I LOVED the section on Gray! so glad you included Gray-romantic, as a lot of people miss that aspect and just touhc on gray-sexual, I identify as a Gray-Romantic Asexual and im so glad you put so much effort into this, getting actual ace people involved, Thank You!
I spy with my punk eye a skeleton clique banner behind Jeff! I'm asexual and aromantic, so seeing this video put a smile on my face. The A in LGBTQIA+ is often overlooked as just meaning ally and it's really amazing to see people who know that we exist. Also, can we talk about the intro music and the space graphics??
+Nikkö Alexander I forgot to mention that yes, I know it doesn't mean ally (although, we're very happy to have our allies)
Oh my god.. I've only known demisexual, asexual, ace, aromantic.. Sooo much to learn! This is SUCH A WELL PUT TOGETHER VIDEO!!!!!!! Very good work!
ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE SO GORGEOUS I COULD BARELY FOCUS ON THE VIDEO
Just wanted to say I absolutely love the graphics in this video. The drawings are really cool and I love the space-y backgrounds.
thank you so much for making this series and putting soo much effort into it! I'm also demiromantic, high five!
also 7:09 I see a lil peep of a Carmilla poster...
+Lucy Snowe Yep, that's my Carmilla poster! Good eye
The song just made me burst into tears! I am a hetero-romantic asexual living in a homophobic community in Utah. I don’t feel like I can be myself without people telling how wrong I am and that “I’m just a closeted gay” and “just need to get over it” before I found out about asexuals (when I was 18) I genuinely thought that there was something wrong with my body. This is so amazing! 😭😭😭😭😭
Some of them might not have been explained deeply enough. However, it is a nice introductions and I really appreciate the effort, I've learned a lot.
Why do we need so many terms? I mean, aren't we all a bit different?
Maybe we need these terms to have a reason (and also no fear) to talk about our differences, about which I've learned a lot in this video. Thank you
+SamoScopom I know for a lot of people the more "niche" terms are wishing to give a concise explanation of your feelings. They all fall on the ace-spectrum somewhere but for grey ace/aro people (or cupio-x, since that could really encompass ace/aro too) the "conditions" one experiences attraction under may be incredibly confusing to themselves or others.
CMSISHDNWB I'm so happy :))) as someone who identifies as quoisexual, it's pretty awesome to see this representation bc a lot of the time this sub category is left out. thanks so much for including me!!
on a similar but different note, you didn't really talk about aegosexual, which is also a forgotten sub label :) i just wanted to do a shout out to all aegosexual people! (also, in case ur wondering, aegosexual is expiriencing a disconnect between the desired sexual attraction...did i explain that coherently and correctly? idk lmk xD)
I love these kinds of videos. Not only do you help people become more educated on the terms within the LGBT+ community, you also help people find labels that they might like or feel connected to in some way and help them find out more about themselves. 🖤
AhhHHHhHh! This is so gr8! So many cuties in this video and v many cutie graphics !!!! I can't even imagine how great of an impact this series is going to have on so many people. I'm just so happ rn !!
I'm Lithromantic/Akoiromantic and I've known for about a month now. It's a little different than me consciously being aware that I do not want to have any reciprocation, but rather that I realise I'm uncomfortable when they show feelings back.
I've had romantic crushes on people (never experienced sexual attraction toward any of them) as I grew older, but I began to realise that when I either found out they liked me back or think they have a crush on me too I seemingly began to shut down and get uncomfortable around that person, even (sometimes) getting to the point where I would feel repulsed.
It's hard to imagine how my future love life will play out if every time I fall in love I fall out just as quick, but I'm willing to find out.
I’m demisexual and some rude uneducated dude online told me I was faking because I didn’t fit stereotypes... 😐 This is the world we live in
im identify as asexual but im not an expert at all so correct me if this makes no sense but the simplest way i have explained my asexuality to my friends is:
Some people like hot dogs, some people like tacos, and some people,like me, dont like either.
+Rampage_At_Dusk I explain it like that too XD Just with pizza and burgers.
+Rampage_At_Dusk
Simplistic and accurate
***** I like euphemisms :D
Maia Peterson exactly :D
+Rampage_At_Dusk I am ashamed to admit that after reading it was a euphemism I spent a solid 3 minutes just thinking and browsing images of fast food to think of a fitting addition for anal. For the interested: I have decided on onion rings.
I'm so so happy about this video and this is so so important. It's hard for for people to understand what it's like for Demisexual's and asexual's since we live in such a sexual society but I'm so glad we're talking about it. I'm so happy to have seen this video and found out this information. No matter how many times I tried to tell people they could never understand exactly how I feel. I'm not a prude, I am not saving myself for marriage, I'm not insecure and this is not because of lack of experience. This is how It is. It's so nice to know you're not alone in your feelings. Demisexual✌🏼️
Thanks for this! I went 36 years not realizing I was ace- I wish I had known about it in my early teens. So glad this content is being shared for kids and youth out there. It’s great to learn more, this video was very informative!
I've been waiting for this since the video you posted on another video the other day saying it was coming out!! Cant wait for the others :) personally i know i identify with somewhere on the asexual spectrum that isnt zedsexual(new word i found in this video, i think i like it more)/allosexual, but then i could literally be anywhere else so i tend to think graysexual or demisexual depending on how i feel on that day. But I do know i am demiromantic which is why the 'sexual' part is a little confusing at the moment as ive probably been romantically attracted to about 2/3 people in my entire life and ive not really been that romantically attracted to them and i feel asif identifying as something before i have would be harder for me to come to terms with when i would still have this niggling doubt at the back of my mind, so im going with the flow but videos like this really make me feel more included so just wanted to say thankyou it really does help and the time and effort you put in was really appreciated :)
*gets out notebook
I love this trio of videos, from the aesthetic to the one-stop-shop-type setup of pretty much all the info I need.
Great video Ashley!! Very happy to a video explaining all the different things on the ace and aro spectrum. -Ace from Space
I actually didn't know about that stigmatizm against the term allo, I've been using it for quite a while now. gonna try to use zedsexual/romantic now!!
+Haruhi Fujioka Same i found that really interesting :)
+Haruhi Fujioka
Or just "sexual"/"romantic".
+Haruhi Fujioka I found it interesting, but I have to wonder why people don't seem to contest the term bisexual for the same reasons. If you're avoiding reclaiming the term allosexual because of its roots in clinical sexology, then logically, bisexual should be avoided as well because it was once a term used to refer to intersex people (similar to how hermaphrodite was once used).
+TheChocoXCheese I think a lot of that stems from the fact bisexual has been around a lot longer as a term and it's more ingrained and understood by people at large. It's also been modified by the larger bi community to include two or more gender attractions and not just the standard two implied by the name.
I have issue using zedsexual, though, given the fact a large amount of the people that seem to be upset with allosexual are out and proud acephobes. Rather than legitimate worry over the clinical roots of the word, they just don't want us to have a word to use to describe people who aren't us, which is the entire problem with (talking to guy above you, too) using just "sexual/romantic". It's extremely othering and just not fun for the people involved, especially when we've been consistently described as an "other" pretty much since the beginning of time.
Bob Logical Ever since I heard that people took issue with the term allosexual, I knew something shady was going on because I never heard any complaints from anyone who was actually asexual. That explains it. I'll definitely continue to use the word allosexual until/unless I see that most ace people have a problem with it.
I have watched this trilogy numerous times, Ash. It is truly impressive in production, quality, enjoyability & content. But just now, I was particularly enjoying your soundtrack & mixing.
So I recently came out as gender-queer. Before then I identified as a lesbian, now I think there should be a new word for my sexuality, but I don't if one exists.
+Sophie Martin There is! Gynosexual! It means your attracted to woman and/or femininity! Unlike lesbian though, gynosexual doesn't imply anything about your gender :)
+Ashley Mardell What's the word for genderqueer people attracted to males (the opposite)? :)
pineappledragon androsexual
+Ashley Mardell Womasexual would actually be a lot better since gynosexual has basically become super transmisogynistic & transphobic in general due to the prefix's connotation changing to being attracted to "female" genitalia (I use quotes since genitalia isn't rlly gendered & there's no other way for me to state what it is w/o saying the word which I don't want to do in the YT comments)
+Ashley Mardell I identify as androsexual, and still don't fully understand it. Although I am genderqueer, I was wondering if a cisgender person could correctly consider themselves androsexual. To my understanding, androsexual can mean that you're mostly pansexual, but are only attracted to people who carry certain masculine characteristics. Which narrows it down a bit. I couldn't be attracted to a highly-feminine cisgender female.
I now know I've been asexual for a while, and this helped. Thanks for the video.
Thanks so much for this!! I think I'm WTFsexual (I can't remember the real name for it XD) because I can't tell if I'm experiencing sexual or romantic attraction! I thought I was asexual, but this actually fits me better!
have my thumb up ... o WTFsexual leader
*bow*
Yeah, I was in that area for a bit. I'm rlly conflicted. Altho this vid opened my mind n eyes to all the diff ways ppl are n sexualities that there are. I looked into graysexual cause that word I related to most... n i do feel moments of wtfsexual, but reading up on graysexual, the pieces fit together n it makes sense now. Glad u learned more bout urself too n found a label that fits better!
The whole video I was like: eh idk..... I'm probably wtfromantic? idk...
and then right at the end when they talked about cupioromantic I was like: ok yea I think I know what I am now....
Emwws _ ...same...
I'm asexual and I really liked this video. Although I don't really call myself one and only started too identify as one when I met and became friends with another asexual (whom I have watched porn with for laughs and giggles). The reason I don't really call myself asexual in normal situations, and rather just explain my own sexual orientation, is because of my passive dislike for labels, which also comes forth in my gender identity, in which I just think myself (and always have) as 'me' and don't really bother caring about anything else. Even so, the most absurd thing about my puberty was always the fact that, although my mood was on the fritz and I sweated like crazy, I didn't get crushes or start to find people attractive like my other friends. At first I just assumed I was a late bloomer, but when I had gone over all the other teenage things and still porn was just this really weird thing that I didn't understand what about it others liked, I realized I was 'not normal'. Luckily for me, I was raised in a family where 'not normal' was something all but one of my four siblings had, so I just shrugged my shoulder and continued with my life. Then I met that friend I mentioned and learned more about asexuality, and finally had somebody to talk about thing I never knew I wanted to talk about. Like how weird it is to not really wanting to start a relationship or have lose your virginity, now and maybe never, when you live in a society that tells you constantly that you just can't live without it and be happy. It's fun to have somebody to talk to who's similar, even if you had no real troubles in your life like some other 'not normal' people had.
Anyway, sorry for the word bomb. You're the first 'about asexual' video I have found, and I got a little carried away. Great job though, many people don't know a lot about ace's, and some find it harder to accept no desire than different desire. We kinda fall into the background though, like ninjas, ACE-NINJAS.
Loved your video, subscribed and liked. =D
Your new fan, Þórir Pétur Pétursson.
I appreciate the effort in this! I actually love how educational this is!
+aamyykins Hey! I just binge-watched all of your videos, and now I see you're here? That's crazy. :D
+Azaria Space yeah! I'm always here! love ashley mardell. she's helped me a lot with finding myself and educating me on the works of LGBTQ+ community!
aamyykins Me too! She's a huge inspiration to me. One day, you're going to be just as influential and just as famous as she is. (I don't understand why you aren't yet, actually.)
(I think the highlight of 2015 was when she actually left a comment on one of my videos, then we had a brief conversation on my video about that comment in which she acknowledged my nonbinary-ness.)
Okay this is an honest question not hate: why do we have to label or put a name on all of these feelings. I understand the broad terms for sexuality but why do we need specific ones as well if they are just certain feelings we may have?
+Mikayla Anne You dont have to, its a choice. And by using these words we are letting everyone who feels alone and as if no one else feels that way, that there are so many people a word has been invented to cover them and its perfectly normal, it makes some people happy, so why not use them :)
+Mikayla Anne My thoughts exactly. Soon it all shatters down and everybody has a different name for their sexual orientation because there somehow needs to be a term for every possibility :D
+Mikayla Anne I know, I'm asexual biromantic but why can't people just say that they're either picky or uninterested? Nothing wrong with that. All these terms are ridiculous, it's like these people are saying "I can only be attracted to men/women sometimes while wearing a red coat standing under a street light on a tuesday evening. I'm an Xsexual" It's like no you're not, you're just picky!
omg yes! for me I'm pansexual and I wish we didn't have to have labels because of stereotypes. I know that's not exactly what u meant but I just want to say that.😊
because people want to feel like they belong, aces need a label because people think they are broken or to 'young' to have sexual or romantic attractions
I am floored by how professional, educational, and personally helpful this video was. Instant sub ;)
Little confused as to whether the second term is supposed to be "aromantic" or "aromatic" (as it is spelled in this video).
Is it a typo? Or is it some weird pronunciation/spelling thing?
+Wyntrr_End It's totally a typo :( I had a ton of people watch the video looking for typos and we all missed that one! BAHH. Shucks.
Maybe aromantic people smell pretty?
+Ashley Mardell Welp, not much you can do now I guess. :)
+Nastassja Riemermann I'm going to assume you meant "aromatic" and say "that's exactly what I was thinking!"
But I suppose aromatic just means something has a smell, not necessarily a good or bad one.
+Wyntrr_End I was implying that aromantic people are also aromatic.
Ace and aro
Thanks for acknowledging us!
Just recently discovering this entire topic. It's relieving to know this is a thing. The world makes a whole lot more sense through this lens! Thanks for making this!
So many people romancing the labels in an effort to belong to something they themselves created.
What is up with all these terms.. Every individual has a different experience with sexuality. Do we really need to make it so complicated? The queer community can simply not expect the majority of society to keep up with all these terms and their meanings...
Don't misunderstand, I do appreciate your attempt to clear up common misconseptions and raise awareness. This is great!
I'm just trying to say.. if we (the queer community) want to be understood, we should try to keep it simple. For every word/box we create, we need another 3 to include everyone. How about just; we are all different. Don't assume, just ask. If it's not a question you can ask someone without being weird, rude and intrusive, then you will just have to accept that you have no right to know the answer.
Remember, you can be whatever you like, even if there's no name for it. As long as you are healthy, happy, and are not hurting anybody.
Give a thumbs up for a colourful society! Man it would be boring if we were all the same.
+The Bullshooter
This is so contradictory lol. Half the comment you're like, "BE YOU'RE SELF MAN! NO MATTER WHAT THAT MEANS!" Then your like, ".....but you know, keep it really simple" then your like "It's awesome that everyone is different and we have such a variety of identities" but then you say, "but don't be inconvenient. If too many identities pop up its just way to hard for lazy people to keep up."
Lol, no part in this video did I say, "Hey society YOU BETTAH learn all this words and remember them! Or else." This video's mission is more like, "Hey, you might not know everything there is to know about this underrepresented identity. So if you care to learn, here is some info!"
+The Bullshooter Then we may as well simple down our sciences so we don't confuse people. Just like science, if someone is interested and inclined to learn, they will learn the terminology. If they aren't, then it can be explained when applicable.
I go as "asexual" when people ask because it's the quick answer, but if someone were inclined to pry further then by all means we can have a conversation about it.
+The Bullshooter but words are great! I think the best part about giving every identity a name is that it allows those who feel that way to find people who feel the same way.
Imagine searching forums under "people who kind of feel some sexual attraction sometimes but not other times, but always feel romantic attraction if they form a strong bond with another human, whether male or female" (...I'm feeling lucky)
+Ashley Mardell
+Sceptagon
+Becks Vegs
I want to raise an interesting question; how many terms is it reasonable to expect society to keep track of?
Where does the line go between accepting willful ignorance and demanding too much?
I genuinely want to know others view on that.
Most of us are fine, as long as we are not assumed into norms, but get to define ourselves.
Very few of us demand that the general public
keep updated on every single flavour of terminology.
But when they do, it feels awesome right? We finally feel
recognized and respected as individuals. (But why is this? That having a "box of our own" makes us feel so validated?)
Does that mean that we need to make up a word
for every different box there can be?
I say, maybe no. If we as a society could ease up on the boxmaking,
maybe we could get rid of some of the connotations that follow too?
Ex: "You say you are gay, that means that you are not also bisexual."
"Oh, you're a lesbian, are you butch or femme?" Who is to say that my definition of butch, is even somewhat close to others?
This is the problem with comparing language to emperical science.
Of course these misunderstandings can also be solved with further specifying (and an official dictionary), rather than simplifying, but;
If everyone is to "fit in," We will need a box for every single one of us.
Which we already have by the way, our names.
These Ace vids make me feel so cozy and comfortable and known especially with my sexuality spectrum. They help me discover myself.
Omg you're so pretty
She kind of looks as if she had some Snapchat filter on but in a good way, I kind of find that pretty cool and original (didn't we anything similiar before) and the blush is so extremely cute *-*
how is that creepy? its a sweet compliment.
That's what I was thinking too! They have such an adorable lil face!
@@MINECRAFTLOVER4000 It really isn't
@@coolfred9083 yeah idk why i said that but it was a year ago so
I feel like people put to much into their identity and egos. Can it not be just summed up with respect and love.
+Deirdre Skye Yes it could, but labels make people happy and fell included/less alone so why try and stop it ? :)
+Alice Yea i have the flu and shouldnt try to think about these things. I'm a 30 yo man. I guess i'm bi. I appreciate love and affection from men. Strongly attracted to women though.
Destiny Price even if there was no label the people who choose to transition would still be attacked as much in my opinion. Only others would then create an insult to be the label instead. Alot of people find comfort in labels as it's concrete proof that there is more than just you 'if there's a label there is enough people the same as me for one to have been created'. I understand that not everyone feels the same and in my opinion not everyone should have to use labels if they don't want to, but stopping the people who do find comfort from having a label from being able to use one will make them feel more alone and less like they have a community they can fall back on when they feel excluded in other parts other their life
Destiny Price well aren't you a ray of sunshine
I didn’t understand being ace and jumped between bi, pan lesbian, and never told anyone because I was never sure. I ended up feeling equally uninterested, and now I understand it completely and I identify as ace
Questioning my sexual orientation right now and this was so helpful thank you so much 😊
"All sexuality has a spectrum."
I'm bi on the bi spectrum.
and u experience it differently than any other bi :)
I wanted to thank you again SO MUCH for helping me - an Asexual Panromantic who felt broken and confused most of her life - understand herself better. It's already been 10 month or so but I'll never be able to thank you enough for this :)
I’m Aromantic. I have only ever had feelings for one person....and we’re friends at the moment. My feelings YEETED themselves out the window.
Edit: i had forgotten i had commented this....
leetuce
Nice, what happened next?
It just seems like there are way too many terms for these things. Akoisexual seems like it describes me perfectly, I'm a man and find women attractive, but have never had a desire to have sex or do anything sexual. But I don't see why there needs to be a label for that, It's simpler and just as accurate to say I'm straight and just don't like sex. I feel like everyone these days is always looking for a label to feel special. I don't doubt for a second that people can feel these ways, as in wanting a sexual relationship without feeling attraction, not feeling sexual attraction until a personal bond is formed, etc... but is it really neccesary to have a label for everything?
I've always felt akoiromantic/lithromantic. but i didn't find the word until 2 years ago. and before that I honestly felt like i was fucked up or broken. like i actually considered medication and shit because everyone around me didn't understand and thought there was something wrong with me. the moment i found this word, i was so relieved. because that meant there are actually other people in this world who feel the same way. and it made me feel a little less fucked up. so just because you dont feel the need to use a label doesn't mean it isn't helpful to others. i mean it can also just help with sorting out whatever feelings you have. i can have crushes on people but i dont want it to be reciprocated. i like romance books/movies and it's sweet seeing other couples in love and shit. but i dont want that for myself at allllll. but no one ever reaally believes me when i say this. and so it always hurt thinking i was just messed up. thats why the word helps a lot. because simply the fact that the word exists means others feel the same way and i feel a lot less alone. but idk maybe us feeling a lot less alone doesn't mean much to you anyway and in that case then to answer your question.. nah. a label for everything isn't necessary in your world. i guess in the end it just depends on whether or not you care if labels help others or not.
I see what you mean, however in my experience I've always felt attraction to the opposite sex, though never wanted to do anything sexual with anyone. I personally never felt bad about it, but it does kinda piss me off whenever someone says to me "You'll like it once you try it". I guess if I really wanted to I could identify myself as akoisexual (Assuming I'm understanding exactly what it is correctly), but it just seems so much simpler to say I'm straight and don't like sex, instead of telling people I'm akoisexual and then explaining what it means. But if someone feels better knowing there's enough people that there's a word for it, good for them.
I don’t feel it’s to make yourself ‘special’ but to find a place where you fit and words that can help people describe how they feel, because sometimes you don’t know
Labels aren't to make people feel special, but for people to find others and a community that relates to their own identity. There's so many labels that it may seem excessive, but there's always tons of labels in every subject, so why not for this one too ya know.
Also, when ppl feel lost n want to understand their feelings, they look for answers, and it's easier to find answers upfront in few words to a single word if possible. To use a word as a descriptor, to identify with, so as not to elaborate and communicate with multiple words every time.
Thank you so much for doing this video Ash. This video has changed my life and I am sure it has changed others'. Thank you for making me and my feelings and confusions growing up feel heard and valid. Thank you for putting a label to what my experience is (some may hate it, but for such an invisible identity, it is a great relief for me) - and assure me that I am not broken, weird, or somehow need to be fixed. This video inspired me to do more research and finally have an identity. I have seen ace people going through years of self-questioning and pain just because some parts of their otherwise loving and normal relationship and lives are missing. I cannot thank you enough.
very complicated topic, but also very interesting and eyeopening. I do find myself in some of the definitions, but I think for me personal, they mostly come out of insecurity, like ithromanic and cupidsexual are thinks I'm feeling, but I think they would go away with experience. Thank you very much!
OMG! This w s helpful!! (Like all of Ash’s videos are because they’re so well made)
But this helped m put a name to what I feel. I’m grey sexual
I knew I was grey-ro already, but it felt so nice to be validated like this that I cried. These videos are so important and just thank you so so so much for making them.
Turns out I'm pure asexual and aromatic :)
Edie Black
80-100% asexual/aromantic? D:
Why are we labeling EVERYTHING??? This is like a PowerPoint presentation for human emotions, and that simply isn't logical. We're trying to be all smart and political about this, just let people experience emotions without having to label every minor romantic or sexual detail!!
preach
I perfectly understand your point. Labelling things (or, in this case, people) can very easily turn into something offensive. However, for people who are confused about themselves, who don't understand why they seem to feel in a different way as everyone else, this can be helpful because is telling them that they are not weirdos, that there are more people who are like them, even if it is not "the norm". And I talk from first hand experience. I still don't know how to "label" myself, but till recently I didn't even know 90% those terms existed and I've pass some hard weeks because I had started to question why, even though I consider myself as bisexual, I've never fall in love or feel sexual desire for anybody in my 20 years. Is it because, since I'm not a very social person, I haven't fount yet the right person? Is it because I "can't" get excited by another person (I do have been in a "sexual situation" and, apart from the natural physiological responses of my body, I didn't feel excited at all)? Knowing about all those terms and "labels" may help people that, like me, don't know what to think about themselves. I do consider myself as someone who doesn't care about what others will think about me, and yet, I feel relieved to know that what I am (whatever it is since I'm not sure yet XD) has a name.
Finally, but not less important, I think that naming something helps normalising it
Given that around 99% of the human population is heterosexual, it's a safe assumption to make. Also, there's only two sexes/genders I'm not sure how that one slipped by you in biology.
Perhaps more people would listen if you didn't type like a spastic.
a lable is a tool. Just like you dont NEED to always use a hammer, its helpful when you are building a hose. Continuing, a lable for an emotion its helpful to someone who needs it at a certain time. An asexual may not understand what a squish is when they feel it, but if they google it and learn the term, it may be helpful. Just like how labling atoms, electrons, and nutrons are not helpful to a vast majority of people in their daily life, but it is helpful for people studying these concepts and making breakthroughs. We dont stop labeling because it gets complicated. EVERY FIELD OF SCIENCE, just like THIS FIELD, is complicated. You know know every single bone in the human body do you? But it had a name.
people in the 99% may still need to use the labels when they are scientifically studying the concepts of human sexuality, which benifits frankly everyone
The akoisexual/lithsexual section made me so happy. Thank you so much!
It's funny that I'm ace and one of my friend's nicknames for me is "The Squish".
Super interesting, but I wish you would have explained the difference between sexual versus romantic attraction...
Sbeth85 It’s in Part 2!
ash helped me in freshman year when i was barely figuring myself out. whatta blessing, it’s so nice to look back on this video 3 yrs later knowing myself a little better :))
Gonna watch this like 30 more times because I'm very confused
Same
I realize that you can't include every type of asexuality in these videos but I was kind of sad when autochorissexuality/aegosexualty wasn't mentioned. It's what I identify with and it's really under represented in the ace community. Maybe you could mention it in future videos about ace identities?
+Elizabeth Grosvenor You could make a response video, she has an oops series where she explained things she missed and makes a bigger deal about them :)
+Elizabeth Grosvenor None of those are fucking real, stop forcing the existence of labels.
+Tony Perri thats just like saying bisexuality isn't real.
SLAY Wolf People like what (and who) they like and that's the end of it.
SLAY Wolf To be honest, it's still real, it just doesn't mean anything anymore. The "bi" in "bisexual" means "two." That means bisexuals are attracted to exactly two genders. Unfortunately, you people went and made two hundred thousand "genders." So it is far too vague in a world of Tumblr snowflakes
I want to thank you for this trilogy, it came as a weird realization, literally sitting alone, by myself, in my room, just, "I don't really want, or need sex. While I don't have a problem if I have a partner to get me in "the mood," my sexual encounters have been for my partners, more than for me." At least recently, when I was in my teens I much more into it, but in my late 20's it's just sort of... For my person, when I'm in a relationship. I was really freaked out, reached out to a pan friend, then a trans friend, who referred me here, then to the AVEN site. So thank you again, I feel like I'm back to being more of myself.
Hello, so I'd like to thank you for this video and the upcoming parts to this- because I know that i'm asexual, however i'm still quite confused where I lie on the scale, but I've been trying to find out more about asexuality in all ways, so I can see if I can work out what I think I could be (specially on the romantic scale)
I find that I get a bit :((( about being asexual sometimes, like, I KNOW that asexuality if valid however I still feel like something is wrong with me and something is fucked in my brain, cos I've always felt like this but I didn't know about asexuality until the last year, but I feel really left out when people talk about crushes or sex and i'm just there like OooooHkay fine then i'm not normal clearly, and then I feel like well i'm basically going to die alone because friends that spend a lot of time with me hate me anyway, and I also don't really want to talk to my family about it all because I don't want them to tell me 'oh you're just too young,' [+]
Even though i'm 16, and I know that everyone around me at college always talks about sex and porn and stuff like that anyway. And I was doing some of those 'would you press the button' questions with my friend yesterday and I just felt so left out by them because so many of the questions were about relationships and family's and sex and I just sat there like: well. I can't answer these.
Anyway sorry for the long comment, but thank you for making this series! I'm looking forward to it!
Many thanks, Emi :)
+Embl I feel for you girl, im 18 playing never have i ever is a living nightmare its like ok, no drinking/fingers down for me today, but on the bight side got a high five from some guy for unapologetically being myself, you can find some people are a lot more open then some and are willing to let you be you, just have to find them :)
+Embly Your confused because you are an idiot.
Wow! This is so much information, all at once! I realize more and more how lucky I am to have only struggled with my being gay.
I'm going to play Devil's advocate for a second though...
Why are there so many subdivisions of terminology? Why does every single person need an individual term? Can it go too far? What about people who feel homosexual attraction only on Thursdays? Or people who only feel romantic attraction in Montana? What if someone is sexually attracted to androgynous trees who are themselves romantically attracted to hypermasculine demisexual cats? Do they get a term too? Now, I know that this is taking it to the absurd, but couldn't it been seen that way already? It seems like there are new terms created every time you turn your head, just because someone feels just a little too niche for one term or the other.
Okay, done playing devil's advocate. I know there's a lot more to be covered in this series, and I will watch with an open mind. Thanks for putting all this together! I'm learning a lot! :)
I feel the exact same way.
+Andrew Wilson Sometimes all these terms help people realising what they are feeling (or not feeling) and it isn't bad or weird to feel like that. For example, I've got a lot figured out about my sexuality, gender and so on. But what I'm still figuring out is my romantic attraction and this video helped me a lot. I find comfort in knowing that maybe I'm demi-romantic and there isn't something 'wrong' with me, just because I've never had deep romantic feelings for someone. So yes, this cluster of terminology can be confusing all together, but they bring ease and comfort to some peoples life and isn't that what we all want?
+Andrew Wilson I think the thing that's important to remember though is that it isn't "every single person" getting an "individual term." While many of these different identities are pretty specific, they still apply to many people (even just scrolling through the comments, you can see that a lot of people, after watching this, have finally found a label that sounds like themselves). These labels aren't to highlight individuality; they create community.
One thing that is also very unique about the ace spectrum is that asexuality is rarely ever talked about. Obviously, heterosexuality is always exceedingly prevalent in media, and slowly but surely, we're seeing more gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender representation. A lot of it might be problematic or negative, but for the most part, everyone is, at the very least, aware that these identities exist, and that's incredibly important for people who aren't heterosexual or cisgender. Heteronormativity and cisnormativity are sooo prevalent in our society that having the language to describe your identity and your experience when you aren't heterosexual or cisgender is incredibly important. In a world where we didn't have problems with heteronormativity or cisnormativity, labels probably wouldn't be so important, but for many, many people, they are. Labels are validating.
What's so different about asexuality is that is so rarely talked about - many people don't know that asexuality or the ace spectrum are even options for them. They don't have that language to describe their identity and experience. When you grow up not experiencing sexual attraction, or only rarely experiencing romantic attraction, or being very confused whether what you're feeling is romantic attraction or not, or if you're frustrated because you develop romantic feelings for someone that fizzle away as soon as they reciprocate, you can really feel like you're broken, or that you just have some weird issues you just have to get over. Not only do you not fit into heterosexuality, but hell, if you only know straight, gay, and bi, you don't even fit into the sexual minorities. Creating these labels, however, gives those people the language to talk about their experience and help them understand themselves. When you've spent however many years of your life desperately trying to figure out what your sexual/romantic orientation is, and you find out that there's actually a name for the way you experience romantic and sexual attraction, that what you experience is perfectly normal because other people experience it, too, and there's even a name for it, that's incredibly important.
(Also, there is a huge, huge difference between the identities described in this video and the exaggerated ones you listed here... I know you're playing devil's advocate, but it's just a touch offensive to have my identity compared to bestiality...)
+Melissa C Thank you for the response! What I mean by individual terms is asexual is a blanket term, as described in the video, demisexual (at least, as I understand it) is the midway point between sexual and asexual. So, there's a point on either side, and a point that can slide around in the middle. Why then must the distinction be cut even further and further? I understand the need to find a term that fits each individual, but where does the division stop? That's why I used the exaggerated ones. I did not mean to offend, and I am sorry that I did. I was simply taking the point to the extreme. I know that these identities are nothing akin to bestiality.
+Nicky Rondelez I understand what you're saying. I am just worried that someone will come along, see how many different identities there are, and decide to create some absurd one for themselves, JUST to demean, belittle, and insult those who actually identify out of the norm.