Just a reminder, if you perceive a conversation on red flags in women as portraying women "negatively", then there's emotional maturity that is lacking and some self-work to do. We all fall short and all have things to work on. Righteous men deserve to have women who prioritize healthy relationships as do righteous women deserve men who do :). There's also a red flag video on things to look for in Muslim men, please see it
lol this has very little to do with women or men, you will always get immature people "REACTING" to anything that is hard. They will grow insha allah :) thanks for the video
As salam alaikum sister I'm a revert brother sunni Muslim. I got a marriage proposal from a revert polish sister who has been divorced 4 times. To me this is red flag. I prayed istikarah about this. Tbh since I took my shahada in 2009. I have known tons of true stories of revert sister's getting used by tons of born Muslim men. And tons of born Muslims using revert brothers left and right. So I'm scared to death. Before I became disabled I was getting tons of families throwing their daughters my way. After sitting with them. I asked Islamic questions. I saw tons of red flags. And basically ran away. Now I don't want to marry a sister in the west. And over here many Muslims discriminate against me because I have black outs.but apart from that I'm healthy. I seriously at my wits end. Even many brothers are not trust worthy. Sending me sister's sister's that make me run for da hills.
@@MuhammadAli-xw4yc Aww brother May Allah ease it for you. I recommend one tajjud during this Ramadan, talk to Allah like his your creator but best friend who knows exactly what you are going through more than yourself, you’ll see that he’ll answer you in the right way. And remember that you are amazing and once you are secure in your relationship with Allah, who btw has alot of Mercy and affection for you, everything will fall into place, In sha Allah. I’ll make dua for you too In sha Allah and remember that muslim sister revert may be in the same situation as you
Salaam alaykum, I really respect you for being so down to earth and genuine. I've been living in Makkah for 16 years as a white American revert who was just really blessed. I spent all this time working on myself and trying to be a good person/man/father/etc. I hope one day when it is my time I can be proud of the work I did. Thank you for encouraging me and many others.
Red flags in women: 1. A woman who has an outrageously high maher. (Very materialistic) 2. A woman who thinks she is the princess, as a mode operation. (Very materialistic) 3. A woman who is hot and cold. Either texting you all the time or ghosting you. 4. A woman who is hyper independent, and does not want to work through her issues. 5. A woman who carries the mindset 'all men are trash'. (Oppressive mindset) 6. A woman who is a major gossiper. Advice: don't speak ill of your spouse to a.n.y.o.n.e ever.
I clicked this video because I thought it was going to be red flags in Muslim women, for women friendships- but I genuinely feel like all of your points still apply to female friendships. If a woman is neglecting to treat a man she wants to marry with respect, that's a red flag for the girlies around her too.
That actually makes sense because a sister I used to talk to for marriage had no friends whatsoever and I used to wonder why that's the case but then I slowly found out because she lacked communication and simple respect. When a girl says she has no friends because she's independent, in some cases it's true but in most cases it's because they think they are better than other girls to befriend them.
@@Sz7_ytI wish someone smacked the sense into me before😢 an ex friend I had told me everyone in her life, outside family, leaves her etc and no one made efforts with her and whatnot and I should have realised to leave it there and then. She was literally telling me that no one wants to be that friend with her and it should be a sign to me and also a warning that she was trying to emotionally make me feel bad from stepping away from a bad relationship. I stuck with her for two years and it cost me so much of my education... I wish I listened to what she was saying to me. She is also someone who openly mentions her husbands and brothers faults which is backbiting and I stopped telling her because she simply didn't listen. I don't go around her anymore.
I’m 26, I know nothing about marriage and women. You’re the sister I never had. Allah bless you. Thank you so much for educating me. I love your logic, wisdom and understanding. I can tell you speak from actual understanding sis. Please make more videos like this to help young males like me establish what to look out for.
thank you for talking about the mahr in realistic and practical way. " ....Just because something is halal or a right of a person doesn't mean it's a wise decision...."
Salaam sister. Mash'Allah this video is popping off and for good reason. As I'm currently going through the process of getting married myself, your video had some very useful points to reflect on. And it's refreshing to hear a Muslimah talk about red flags in Muslimahs!
Baarak Allah feek! Just checked out your channel as well and you do incredible work. I'm going to shoot you an email isA and perhaps we can consider a collab (I have a weekly show I do on my channel), I can bring my husband onboard for modesty purposes. Wa alaikum asalam!
Hana, it's is rare to find people as well spoken as you are. Jazakiallah khair. Thank you for this information. Alhamdullillah, we have a community that is mindful of its short-comings and mindful of Allah!
@@alasryh Our time here on this planet is like the rain...it comes and goes. 1. Men want the women before she turns 30 years. 2. Women who have not reached 30 want the most money. That said, the man feels he has lost if she is old, and the woman feels she has lost because her husband isn't rich. 3. If I'm not mistaken, the prophet's first wife was older than him? 4. If I'm not mistaken, our lord said it was better to marry a believing SLAVE than to marry an unbeliever? Sister your soul reflects all the goodness in the points I mentioned...please keep teaching and reminding true believers of our true objective. Peace and Blessings.
Gotcha! It's just one of the things required to validate a marriage, seeks to honor a woman, is set by the woman (though in some instances, a woman might hand the right over to her father to set). There are many examples of different types of mahr in the seerah of the prophet SAW though most often it is money or gold. Should be something of value. Hope this small blurb helps
The mahr/mehr is financial security for a woman in case the husband dies or she gets divorced. It's supposed to be the thing she relies on financially while getting back on her feet. Unlike the alimony; a human secular concept; which in some cases has to be paid until the ex-husband is no longer. Allah made it fair for both men and women. The man provides, but is not expected to provide for the ex-wife at the cost of and rights of his new wife. Yet, he has to give her that so that she isn't left without after a divorce. Its a beautiful concept. Hope that helps.
@@luk9254 actually, that’s a common miscon, it isn’t for that reason (financial security) otherwise the sahaba who taught his wife Quran as her mahr would’ve been in sin. It’s simply a gift of value, and that can be monetary of spiritual value.
Thank you so much for sharing this! For me as a german revert it is very informative especially the Mahr part. What you say is true and it makes me happy to see that there are people around that give their best to be useful, you deserve the attention and are a gift for our Ummah, so I hope inshallah I can trigger the algorithm with this comment. Asselamu Aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu from Germany.
Jazak Allah sister for dropping this video. Do more videos regarding marital relationships. Because in this world of hyper independency, people have tend to forget that Allah Subhan Wa Ta'ala has created us in pairs so that we can fulfill our physical needs in halal way.
@@CreativeexplorerTPT It is fine if you can stay single forever. Getting married isn't mandatory. But one needs to make sure that he/she will not fall into a haraam relationship by committing adultery.
I think these are all valid - as an eldest daughter, I am hyper independent but I know I want a partner who helps me trust and rely on him, so that I can be less stressed and more feminine. That balance is so important bc I don’t want to resent anyone bc I feel i have to do everything myself. I am self aware and want to change that. High Mehr is a good one bc at the end of the day everything that’s his is yours anyways. Princess treatment is different from entitlement and I think you touch on women who feel entitled to everything.
This was a great clarifying comment! Eldest daughters definitely can experience hyperindependence by necessity of their role in the family. I have a video coming out after Ramadan about hyperindependence! Stay tuned isA
I’ve been there, done it and I was betrayed, used and abandoned in my marriage. Now I’m divorced and I reconnected with my faith again. A good spouse doesn’t treat you like crap and brings you closer to your faith and unites a family
00:00 🚩 Avoid speaking negatively about your significant other to anyone; it's a red flag and should be avoided. 01:14 🚩 High mahad requirements can limit your options and may prioritize material wealth over relationship quality. 05:24 🚩 Beware of women who exhibit princess-like behavior; excessive focus on material possessions and entitlement signals emotional immaturity. 07:57 🚩 Women who display hot and cold behavior may engage in manipulative mind games, leading to unhealthy relationships. 09:04 🚩 Hyper-independent women, stemming from past trauma, may struggle to trust and cooperate in relationships, posing challenges. 10:40 🚩 Adopting a mindset that generalizes all men as trash can harm relationships and contradicts Islamic principles of respect and allyship. 12:30 🚩 Beware of women who gossip excessively; it not only damages trust within the relationship but can also negatively affect children and invite harmful karma.
Such a great video. This is the narrative that I tell other muslim women. I think what’s happened is that we have been deluded by the feminist ideology that we are independent mindset. May Allah guide our daughters to have humble mindset .
Thanks sister for providing this very important advice for women these days looking to get married. People should listen to your advice, of all faiths and backgrounds.
Awareness and accountability are the BEST qualities, and in sha Allah we all can improve when we have those things. I had red flags too from trauma that I worked very very hard on to rid of so I could enjoy a healthy relationship.
Coming from a guy (19), I was about to marry a girl (18) I met last year at college. At first she showed her best side and personality to me, but then towards the end of the year she showed her true colours and her true colours were basically all the red flags mentioned in this video. It became a very toxic relationship and after making so much dua to Allah, he removed her from my life instead of persuing her for marriage. I know that when I am with my future wife who Inshallah will have the complete opposite traits, I will look back at my experience with her and think Allah saved me from basically a divorce. Im a good hearted guy but I will never marry a girl who wants to be treated like a queen. I wouldnt want to be treated like a king because I know marriage is a joint partnership and it works with effort coming from both sides. Your not marrying royalty, you are marrying another fellow slave of Allah. Put it into that perspective and learn to humble yourself because your primary goal as a couple should be getting closer to Allah in this dunya so he grants you the best Akhirah. Yes as a man, you should provide for her, care for her emotions and treat her well, because she will be the mother of your children, but she cant be a child herself. She cant still be a girl, she needs to be matured enough to be a woman.
I can completely relate to your experience, everything from the age to the duas exact same experience. Alhamdulilah we can only do better and look forward to the future
@@SS-cu8se Alhamdulillah because many don't. Allah saved me before it was too late and I will always believe he done so because he has written my name next to someone better.
@@Mafrx Yeah it happens alot nowadays which is why divorces are so common. Because people start showing their true colours. May Allah keep us away from those corrupt people and grant us all good, righteous spouses. Ameen.
I had proposed to a Sister from Indonesia and she agreed but then kept asking for more and more as I continued to agree. Finally I had enough and withdrew my proposal. She contacted me a year later and I told her I already met another woman.
2:59 this was so surprising to hear from a woman that I should have sat down.. In fact, I believe this is the very first time I hear a woman say this in a public video in my whole life... So sad
I’ve had a situationship where I was talking with a “hot and cold” sister. Ended up really messing with my mental health and emotions. These kind of women are to be avoided
Thank you so much for the knowledge, I dated a beautiful Egyptian girl when I was younger, always had respect for all my Muslim family…I’ll never forget when I was a teen and didn’t have enough money for food they always blessed me…much love and respect from New York Jamaican ♥️🇯🇲🙏🏽
JAK for this video, it really helped me look at certain aspects of marriage differently. if you have not already, please consider making a similar video for men - i for one could certainly benefit from it, as i am interested in getting married within the coming years insha’Allah. may Allah reward you for your efforts
This is very helpful my sister. I find a lot of women do value themselves as their Mahr, which is wrong, they are worth much more as human beings and as daughters of others, but the Mahr is a legal quote for knotting the strings of marriage not for “buying” a wife. Thank you so much!
"Just because it's halaal doesn't mean it's always the wisest thing to do". Brilliant statement. As a man, if a woman tells me she wants 100k as mahar, I'm gonna start thinking like she is not a woman of value and her life revolves around materialism. And that she is just living a surface level existence.
honestly i’ve been thinking, unrealistic mehr is just a polite and considerate way for a woman to nicely reject a potential husband who fits all the rational criteria’s but she isn’t physically attracted to or doesn’t desire somewhat
Salaamou Alaikoum Sister, First of all, Ramadan Mubarak! I think this is a really informative video for me as a muslim man. And also for woman too. I really needed this. Thanks for this video. I also watched other videos of yours, which I also found interesting. You have a subscriber! Keep doing your thing! Baraka Allahofiki!.
This is my kind of person- level headed! I wish I could meet someone like her. My experience is that these kind of muslim women are taken and not available or I am invisible to them! Team work together in a relationship is a wonderful thing!
Girl i have grew up in this kind of environment i have encounters all this signs in some of closet woman and guess what its directly or indirectly started affecting me too and i realise that how toxic kind of person i become one's i learn to set boundaries in my every relationship parents, COUSINS friends etc... And the reason i believe this happens is lack of knowledge of deen and understanding when a person don't understands islam that's where the issue comes you based your entire mentality on your trauma and bad expirence and try to do deal with it according to society instead what Qur'an and sunnah teach.
This video is EVERYTHING. You're so right, our relationships will maneuver our beliefs and actions, that's why the prophet and quran tells us to be so careful about who we associate with.
thank you for shining a light to allow women who want marriage to reflect on themselves. i was curious, do you know of any easily accessible/online resources about unlearning hyperindependence? maybe a youtube channel that discusses such topics or books about it?
Great video❤ I wanted to write about this thing you mentioned that men are required to provide the bare minimum. As I know, that’s not how it works. Actually, the man is required to, at least if not more, give the woman enough in a way that the woman can live the same way she did before marriage. For example, if before marriage she was not cooking for herself and didn’t have to deal with cooking, the man has to continue giving her this life where she gets her meals and doesn’t have to cook. This cooking is just an example. What I am trying to say is that if you marry a woman, she has the right and you are required to, at least, give her the life she has been living before marriage. This is something the man needs to consider when looking for a spouse before marriage to see if he is able to take care of her. I hope I have been able to get my point across as I wanted to, This is my understanding of the islamic rules about this matter. If anyone has any questions or confusion about this, please research about it ❤😊😊
Wa alaikum asalam! Yes, this is *one of the understandings, not the only one, though. The implications were always a little odd to me in this day and age. Example, if you choose to marry a man that is not wealthy, and then when he (not surprisingly) can't afford a maid, it would be odd to me that a woman would go to a sheikh and choose that as a reason for divorce (granted I'm assuming she's not being overburdened by a crazy load of housework). There's also a cost of living issue, ie if you're in Pakistan with a maid, and then move to the US, it would be pretty silly to expect the same thing because what it costs in one country is hundreds, and in another, it costs thousands and thousands. Context matters too, the understanding you mentioned was shared by scholars who lived in a time where there wasn't globalization, ie you married from your people, from your class. So if a man in your same class wasn't providing the same you had before hand, he was shorting you what is possible. Hope that clarifies where I'm coming from.
JAK! I try to really not get into that stuff, it does no good. Accountability needs good character and hopefulness, not attacks and shaming constantly.
I instantly subbed because you seemed so genuine. Also because you look like a good woman and this is rare in the world. If you’re not married yet, you will have a lot of good men vying for your attention 😅 but also continue being worthy of theirs. Much love
Thank you sister!!!!! Very useful video!!!!! After reverting, we idolising, fantasising Muslim women... At the end, the reality is they are still the same... women.... With the specific details, and effects, and yet... the basics, the common ground is the same... Must accept the reality I guess....
I'm not Muslim--Eastern Orthodox Christian, actually--but I really agree with the essence of these points! Principally, in Christianity, character and love of God and others matters way more than material wealth, and that means consistent sacrifice of the ego; forgoing finances, forgoing the urge to gossip, forgoing the urge to be unloving to your wife or disrespectful to your husband, all those things are critical, because it's modeled after Christ's loving relationship with the Church. Also - I love your hijab!!!
Hi! Thanks for the dope comment! Yes, these are similar values shared by any God-conscious person, the relinquishing of the spiritual ego to seek what is closer to God and better! Also your voice is stunningggg allahuma barak (may God bless itl).
I’m a lot more likely to choose a spouse who is humble and modest with her marriage requirements making it easier for the both of us granted we have a good connection and faith. Making the marriage process more simple and affordable is the best way to get married, not to mention it is highly recommended to do it this way in Islam.
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Just a reminder, if you perceive a conversation on red flags in women as portraying women "negatively", then there's emotional maturity that is lacking and some self-work to do. We all fall short and all have things to work on. Righteous men deserve to have women who prioritize healthy relationships as do righteous women deserve men who do :). There's also a red flag video on things to look for in Muslim men, please see it
lol this has very little to do with women or men, you will always get immature people "REACTING" to anything that is hard. They will grow insha allah :) thanks for the video
That's very true!@@KAIZORIANEMPIRE
As salam alaikum sister I'm a revert brother sunni Muslim. I got a marriage proposal from a revert polish sister who has been divorced 4 times. To me this is red flag. I prayed istikarah about this. Tbh since I took my shahada in 2009. I have known tons of true stories of revert sister's getting used by tons of born Muslim men. And tons of born Muslims using revert brothers left and right. So I'm scared to death. Before I became disabled I was getting tons of families throwing their daughters my way. After sitting with them. I asked Islamic questions. I saw tons of red flags. And basically ran away. Now I don't want to marry a sister in the west. And over here many Muslims discriminate against me because I have black outs.but apart from that I'm healthy. I seriously at my wits end. Even many brothers are not trust worthy. Sending me sister's sister's that make me run for da hills.
@@MuhammadAli-xw4yc Aww brother May Allah ease it for you. I recommend one tajjud during this Ramadan, talk to Allah like his your creator but best friend who knows exactly what you are going through more than yourself, you’ll see that he’ll answer you in the right way. And remember that you are amazing and once you are secure in your relationship with Allah, who btw has alot of Mercy and affection for you, everything will fall into place, In sha Allah. I’ll make dua for you too In sha Allah and remember that muslim sister revert may be in the same situation as you
Salaam alaykum, I really respect you for being so down to earth and genuine. I've been living in Makkah for 16 years as a white American revert who was just really blessed. I spent all this time working on myself and trying to be a good person/man/father/etc. I hope one day when it is my time I can be proud of the work I did. Thank you for encouraging me and many others.
As A Muslim man, this video is helpful. May Allah bless us with good righteous spouse.
Ameen ya rab!
Ameen my brother
Ameeeeeeen.
Ameen
cool, but ask a fisherman how to fish
Red flags in women:
1. A woman who has an outrageously high maher. (Very materialistic)
2. A woman who thinks she is the princess, as a mode operation. (Very materialistic)
3. A woman who is hot and cold. Either texting you all the time or ghosting you.
4. A woman who is hyper independent, and does not want to work through her issues.
5. A woman who carries the mindset 'all men are trash'. (Oppressive mindset)
6. A woman who is a major gossiper.
Advice: don't speak ill of your spouse to a.n.y.o.n.e ever.
Thank you for this!
Jazakallahu khairan!
Almost all men are tho. Guess ill stay single forever lol
women usually have more red flags tbh
@@sanaa.3216🧐
I clicked this video because I thought it was going to be red flags in Muslim women, for women friendships- but I genuinely feel like all of your points still apply to female friendships. If a woman is neglecting to treat a man she wants to marry with respect, that's a red flag for the girlies around her too.
Oh that's SUCH an interesting way to look at it. Yes, I guess these could also apply in that they're just red flags for relationships in general.
That actually makes sense because a sister I used to talk to for marriage had no friends whatsoever and I used to wonder why that's the case but then I slowly found out because she lacked communication and simple respect. When a girl says she has no friends because she's independent, in some cases it's true but in most cases it's because they think they are better than other girls to befriend them.
Literally thought the same. I’d like a video on this too
@@Sz7_ytI wish someone smacked the sense into me before😢 an ex friend I had told me everyone in her life, outside family, leaves her etc and no one made efforts with her and whatnot and I should have realised to leave it there and then. She was literally telling me that no one wants to be that friend with her and it should be a sign to me and also a warning that she was trying to emotionally make me feel bad from stepping away from a bad relationship.
I stuck with her for two years and it cost me so much of my education... I wish I listened to what she was saying to me.
She is also someone who openly mentions her husbands and brothers faults which is backbiting and I stopped telling her because she simply didn't listen. I don't go around her anymore.
I thought same.
I’m 26, I know nothing about marriage and women. You’re the sister I never had. Allah bless you. Thank you so much for educating me. I love your logic, wisdom and understanding. I can tell you speak from actual understanding sis. Please make more videos like this to help young males like me establish what to look out for.
Oh SubhanAllah, that’s a high compliment. IsA I will, thank you for watching and subscribing isA
thank you for talking about the mahr in realistic and practical way. " ....Just because something is halal or a right of a person doesn't mean it's a wise decision...."
Not a Muslim yet , but I’m glad this pop up for future reference
Ayyy, see this as your Muslim online community and we can't wait to welcome you to the ummah
May Allah guide you brother ❤
Salaam sister. Mash'Allah this video is popping off and for good reason. As I'm currently going through the process of getting married myself, your video had some very useful points to reflect on. And it's refreshing to hear a Muslimah talk about red flags in Muslimahs!
Baarak Allah feek! Just checked out your channel as well and you do incredible work. I'm going to shoot you an email isA and perhaps we can consider a collab (I have a weekly show I do on my channel), I can bring my husband onboard for modesty purposes. Wa alaikum asalam!
Hana, it's is rare to find people as well spoken as you are. Jazakiallah khair. Thank you for this information. Alhamdullillah, we have a community that is mindful of its short-comings and mindful of Allah!
So sweet of you but I don’t think I’m as well spoken, the video is just edited, ameen ya rab and wa iyakum ✨
Ameen
@@alasryh Asalama alaykum hanna ramadaan mubaarak dear sister god bless you at all can I have your email address please my name is Ahmed I live in USA
This is a solid video soliciting self-critique among the sisters and awareness among the brothers
Alhamdulillah, that was the intent
@@alasryh
Our time here on this planet is like the rain...it comes and goes.
1. Men want the women before she turns 30 years.
2. Women who have not reached 30 want the most money.
That said, the man feels he has lost if she is old, and the woman feels she has lost because her husband isn't rich.
3. If I'm not mistaken, the prophet's first wife was older than him?
4. If I'm not mistaken, our lord said it was better to marry a believing SLAVE than to marry an unbeliever?
Sister your soul reflects all the goodness in the points I mentioned...please keep teaching and reminding true believers of our true objective. Peace and Blessings.
@@shockadellick baarak Allah feek, deen above everything. It’ll take you far
This is so true, men bring more than just finances to a relationship! So glad you’re putting your content out🎉 there
Kudos to you, couldn't have said it better, there is no negativity towards men and women, just pure positive
I'm a Canadian brother revert, and I've had a somewhat difficult time understanding the mehr. It's a new concept to me.
Gotcha! It's just one of the things required to validate a marriage, seeks to honor a woman, is set by the woman (though in some instances, a woman might hand the right over to her father to set). There are many examples of different types of mahr in the seerah of the prophet SAW though most often it is money or gold. Should be something of value. Hope this small blurb helps
The mahr/mehr is financial security for a woman in case the husband dies or she gets divorced. It's supposed to be the thing she relies on financially while getting back on her feet.
Unlike the alimony; a human secular concept; which in some cases has to be paid until the ex-husband is no longer. Allah made it fair for both men and women. The man provides, but is not expected to provide for the ex-wife at the cost of and rights of his new wife. Yet, he has to give her that so that she isn't left without after a divorce. Its a beautiful concept. Hope that helps.
@@luk9254 actually, that’s a common miscon, it isn’t for that reason (financial security) otherwise the sahaba who taught his wife Quran as her mahr would’ve been in sin. It’s simply a gift of value, and that can be monetary of spiritual value.
Thank you so much for sharing this! For me as a german revert it is very informative especially the Mahr part. What you say is true and it makes me happy to see that there are people around that give their best to be useful, you deserve the attention and are a gift for our Ummah, so I hope inshallah I can trigger the algorithm with this comment. Asselamu Aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu from Germany.
Wa alaikum asalam wrwb, thank you so much for this kind comment. I’m happy it helped!
Jazak Allah sister for dropping this video. Do more videos regarding marital relationships. Because in this world of hyper independency, people have tend to forget that Allah Subhan Wa Ta'ala has created us in pairs so that we can fulfill our physical needs in halal way.
and emotional needs
Why is it always about physical needs though? It is not needed to survive honestly.
@@CreativeexplorerTPT It is fine if you can stay single forever. Getting married isn't mandatory. But one needs to make sure that he/she will not fall into a haraam relationship by committing adultery.
@@wasimmomin1128 agreed, or have a more mature approach and do it to start a family too
@@CreativeexplorerTPT exactly, if Allah has created a halal outlet for our desires of intimacy then why we shouldn't take the advantage of it?
As a man, this video is very helpful بارك الله فيك
I think these are all valid - as an eldest daughter, I am hyper independent but I know I want a partner who helps me trust and rely on him, so that I can be less stressed and more feminine. That balance is so important bc I don’t want to resent anyone bc I feel i have to do everything myself. I am self aware and want to change that.
High Mehr is a good one bc at the end of the day everything that’s his is yours anyways. Princess treatment is different from entitlement and I think you touch on women who feel entitled to everything.
This was a great clarifying comment! Eldest daughters definitely can experience hyperindependence by necessity of their role in the family. I have a video coming out after Ramadan about hyperindependence! Stay tuned isA
I’ve been there, done it and I was betrayed, used and abandoned in my marriage. Now I’m divorced and I reconnected with my faith again. A good spouse doesn’t treat you like crap and brings you closer to your faith and unites a family
You forgot number 6: the women who beautify themselves in front of other men
Guy friends, social media thirst traps…
THAT'S RED FLAG NUMBER 1!
@@Truth_Seeker1202mate modesty for adult Muslims is very important, but calling it the number one red flag is a bit much.
not always a red flag some women have amazing character and they still fall into that sin. perhaps they are in the journey of trying
Depending on the society, culture, and level of religiosity it goes from a norm these days for many to red flag.
Can you kindly add timestamps in your future videos it will make it very helpful for the viewers.
Was gonna suggest this
Yes please this would be very helpful
00:00 🚩 Avoid speaking negatively about your significant other to anyone; it's a red flag and should be avoided.
01:14 🚩 High mahad requirements can limit your options and may prioritize material wealth over relationship quality.
05:24 🚩 Beware of women who exhibit princess-like behavior; excessive focus on material possessions and entitlement signals emotional immaturity.
07:57 🚩 Women who display hot and cold behavior may engage in manipulative mind games, leading to unhealthy relationships.
09:04 🚩 Hyper-independent women, stemming from past trauma, may struggle to trust and cooperate in relationships, posing challenges.
10:40 🚩 Adopting a mindset that generalizes all men as trash can harm relationships and contradicts Islamic principles of respect and allyship.
12:30 🚩 Beware of women who gossip excessively; it not only damages trust within the relationship but can also negatively affect children and invite harmful karma.
Timestamps:
1) Red Flag #1 = 1:23
2) Red Flag #2 = 5:27
3) Red Flag #3 = 7:30
4) Red Flag #4 = 8:53
5) Red Flag #5 = 10:35
6) Last = 12:32
Thank you for sharing your insights. I love learning about all parts of Islam as a revert. May Allah continue to bless you and your family🙏
I'm a Catholic. I enjoyed this video, and most of this advice is just as relevant to us!
Very cool!
from the first 28 seconds I subscribed sisters support sisters periodt
MashaAllah I love this video because it’s helpful to men WITHOUT sounding like you’re pandering to men
Such a great video. This is the narrative that I tell other muslim women. I think what’s happened is that we have been deluded by the feminist ideology that we are independent mindset. May Allah guide our daughters to have humble mindset .
Thanks sister for providing this very important advice for women these days looking to get married. People should listen to your advice, of all faiths and backgrounds.
very well said sister. May Allah continue to increase you in wisdom and knowledge so you can share it with many more ameen
Muslimah, professional and actually knowledgeable? Yep subscribed. Masha'Allah keep the good content coming
Very good explanation of the mahr. Sadly many women and families see this as a buy/sell tactic
Thank you for sharing. I, sadly, am guilty of a few of these. I will do better.
Awareness and accountability are the BEST qualities, and in sha Allah we all can improve when we have those things. I had red flags too from trauma that I worked very very hard on to rid of so I could enjoy a healthy relationship.
Sister Hana, this was so beneficial. It's honestly a blessing that you talked about this. I hope both men and women can learn from this. God bless.
Thank you for posting this video. It has given me hope in women in general.
Somali dude here, subscribed. Jzk for the advice. Definitely was an eye opener
Nice video and definitely needed video. Especially with the rise of red pill movement and "what do you bring to the table" podcasts.
Mashallah on point. Thank you for talking about this. It is soo needed for all
Glad I watched this today. Thank you for this.
Coming from a guy (19), I was about to marry a girl (18) I met last year at college. At first she showed her best side and personality to me, but then towards the end of the year she showed her true colours and her true colours were basically all the red flags mentioned in this video. It became a very toxic relationship and after making so much dua to Allah, he removed her from my life instead of persuing her for marriage. I know that when I am with my future wife who Inshallah will have the complete opposite traits, I will look back at my experience with her and think Allah saved me from basically a divorce.
Im a good hearted guy but I will never marry a girl who wants to be treated like a queen. I wouldnt want to be treated like a king because I know marriage is a joint partnership and it works with effort coming from both sides. Your not marrying royalty, you are marrying another fellow slave of Allah. Put it into that perspective and learn to humble yourself because your primary goal as a couple should be getting closer to Allah in this dunya so he grants you the best Akhirah.
Yes as a man, you should provide for her, care for her emotions and treat her well, because she will be the mother of your children, but she cant be a child herself. She cant still be a girl, she needs to be matured enough to be a woman.
This is why it’s important to take your time when getting to know someone. Glad you saw the signs before you signed on the dotted line!
I can completely relate to your experience, everything from the age to the duas exact same experience.
Alhamdulilah we can only do better and look forward to the future
@@SS-cu8se Alhamdulillah because many don't. Allah saved me before it was too late and I will always believe he done so because he has written my name next to someone better.
@@Mafrx Yeah it happens alot nowadays which is why divorces are so common. Because people start showing their true colours. May Allah keep us away from those corrupt people and grant us all good, righteous spouses. Ameen.
Great advice sis 👍May Allah reward you with kheir in this life and the next, Ameen 🤲
Ameen ya rab
I had proposed to a Sister from Indonesia and she agreed but then kept asking for more and more as I continued to agree. Finally I had enough and withdrew my proposal. She contacted me a year later and I told her I already met another woman.
SubhanAllah, to each is what is written for them.
Asking the right questions when u first meet clear most of these points
2:59 this was so surprising to hear from a woman that I should have sat down.. In fact, I believe this is the very first time I hear a woman say this in a public video in my whole life... So sad
I’ve had a situationship where I was talking with a “hot and cold” sister. Ended up really messing with my mental health and emotions. These kind of women are to be avoided
Thank you so much for the knowledge, I dated a beautiful Egyptian girl when I was younger, always had respect for all my Muslim family…I’ll never forget when I was a teen and didn’t have enough money for food they always blessed me…much love and respect from New York Jamaican ♥️🇯🇲🙏🏽
🐒
Excellent points,may Allah reward you. Wisdom is a key attribute lacking in most people globally today, may Allah grant us wisdom.
I love you sister! Amen to everything you said! Baraka Allahu fiki
JAK for this video, it really helped me look at certain aspects of marriage differently. if you have not already, please consider making a similar video for men - i for one could certainly benefit from it, as i am interested in getting married within the coming years insha’Allah. may Allah reward you for your efforts
Wa iyakum. I did, it was the first video I made and can be found on my channel with a similar name.
HEAVY ON #6 it applies for everyone not just spouses
This is very helpful my sister. I find a lot of women do value themselves as their Mahr, which is wrong, they are worth much more as human beings and as daughters of others, but the Mahr is a legal quote for knotting the strings of marriage not for “buying” a wife. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this! Very helpful coming from a female perspective! Just like men know men, women know women.
Sister thank you for this video which highlights issues within my own marriage and something I can forward onto my children before they get married.
In sha Allah ya rab! No problem, make a lot of duaa for the changing of hearts in your marriage this ramadan!
"Just because it's halaal doesn't mean it's always the wisest thing to do". Brilliant statement.
As a man, if a woman tells me she wants 100k as mahar, I'm gonna start thinking like she is not a woman of value and her life revolves around materialism. And that she is just living a surface level existence.
Good,would you be ok with splitting house chores with your wife?
Thank you so much for this!
Iam so glad to meet you and say contenou your struggle and to support you
JazakAllah Khair for the informative video
Djzak allahu gairen dear sister from Holland!
May Allah Bless you! This is the best video I have seen in so long !!
Waalaykumusalam sister, JazakAllahu Khairan May Allah bless you and your family and give you Jannah. AMEEN. Ramadan Mubarak
Wa iyakum, ameen!
This is a very respectable video, thank you so much sister. It helped me look at life from a different perspective
JAK for watching!
honestly i’ve been thinking, unrealistic mehr is just a polite and considerate way for a woman to nicely reject a potential husband who fits all the rational criteria’s but she isn’t physically attracted to or doesn’t desire somewhat
Makes sense, some ladies may do this. Imagine the man is balling and says “sounds good.” 😂
@@alasryh counter uno🤣🤣🤣
@@user-rd5nc1nb9f 😂
😂😂😂
Great video sister, may Allah reward you 🤲🏾
Major red flag - girl not taking deen seriously
For both for sure! But it's probably in my opiniopn the EASIEST one to fix, we have so many resources alhamdulillah
@@alasryhNot if the willingness isn't there
@@copainspammeur404 for sure!
Salaamou Alaikoum Sister,
First of all, Ramadan Mubarak! I think this is a really informative video for me as a muslim man. And also for woman too. I really needed this. Thanks for this video. I also watched other videos of yours, which I also found interesting. You have a subscriber! Keep doing your thing! Baraka Allahofiki!.
Baarak Allah feekum ,thank you!
Non muslim here. This is very good advice.
This is my kind of person- level headed! I wish I could meet someone like her. My experience is that these kind of muslim women are taken and not available or I am invisible to them! Team work together in a relationship is a wonderful thing!
Growing up independent i have learned over the years to be dependent on him
Please share some tips! Lots of ladies have been asking about this 🥰
ما شاء الله pretty good points. Sharing it with my sisters as well 😇
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ
Glad to see content like this.
Girl i have grew up in this kind of environment i have encounters all this signs in some of closet woman and guess what its directly or indirectly started affecting me too and i realise that how toxic kind of person i become one's i learn to set boundaries in my every relationship parents, COUSINS friends etc...
And the reason i believe this happens is lack of knowledge of deen and understanding when a person don't understands islam that's where the issue comes you based your entire mentality on your trauma and bad expirence and try to do deal with it according to society instead what Qur'an and sunnah teach.
This video is EVERYTHING. You're so right, our relationships will maneuver our beliefs and actions, that's why the prophet and quran tells us to be so careful about who we associate with.
As a Muslim woman, I support this statements and hope that other women will follow. ❤
Hey hey, Salam....wanted to say that you look gorgeous Mashallah and your discussion makes a lot of sense! Kudos to you....God Bless
Wa alaikum asalam, thank you 🥹 that was sweet
thank you for shining a light to allow women who want marriage to reflect on themselves. i was curious, do you know of any easily accessible/online resources about unlearning hyperindependence? maybe a youtube channel that discusses such topics or books about it?
Sis 👏🏾 allahuma barik I agree with 1000000 times
I hope this video reach to a lot of sisters
Baarak Allah feeki!
Beautiful video.. i would be perfectly happy with any woman who doesn't have any of these red flags
Fantastic video finally a fresh prospective
Great content I'm glad this showed up on my feed❤
Thank you sis
Great video❤
I wanted to write about this thing you mentioned that men are required to provide the bare minimum. As I know, that’s not how it works. Actually, the man is required to, at least if not more, give the woman enough in a way that the woman can live the same way she did before marriage. For example, if before marriage she was not cooking for herself and didn’t have to deal with cooking, the man has to continue giving her this life where she gets her meals and doesn’t have to cook. This cooking is just an example. What I am trying to say is that if you marry a woman, she has the right and you are required to, at least, give her the life she has been living before marriage. This is something the man needs to consider when looking for a spouse before marriage to see if he is able to take care of her.
I hope I have been able to get my point across as I wanted to, This is my understanding of the islamic rules about this matter. If anyone has any questions or confusion about this, please research about it ❤😊😊
Wa alaikum asalam! Yes, this is *one of the understandings, not the only one, though. The implications were always a little odd to me in this day and age. Example, if you choose to marry a man that is not wealthy, and then when he (not surprisingly) can't afford a maid, it would be odd to me that a woman would go to a sheikh and choose that as a reason for divorce (granted I'm assuming she's not being overburdened by a crazy load of housework). There's also a cost of living issue, ie if you're in Pakistan with a maid, and then move to the US, it would be pretty silly to expect the same thing because what it costs in one country is hundreds, and in another, it costs thousands and thousands. Context matters too, the understanding you mentioned was shared by scholars who lived in a time where there wasn't globalization, ie you married from your people, from your class. So if a man in your same class wasn't providing the same you had before hand, he was shorting you what is possible. Hope that clarifies where I'm coming from.
I really thought one of those videos who bashes Muslim men but alhamdulliah i was wrong big time. I think you have one new subscriber.
JAK! I try to really not get into that stuff, it does no good. Accountability needs good character and hopefulness, not attacks and shaming constantly.
It says red flag in women just read
masha'allah tabarakallah!so insightful!
Asalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuh sister hana JazakAllah khair for posting such a helpful video ❤❤❤
WAS, wa iyaki, thank you for watching! Wa alaikum asalam wrwb
I instantly subbed because you seemed so genuine. Also because you look like a good woman and this is rare in the world. If you’re not married yet, you will have a lot of good men vying for your attention 😅 but also continue being worthy of theirs. Much love
Thank you sister!!!!!
Very useful video!!!!!
After reverting, we idolising, fantasising Muslim women...
At the end, the reality is they are still the same... women....
With the specific details, and effects, and yet... the basics, the common ground is the same...
Must accept the reality I guess....
Taking notes to better my self
That’s beautiful sis ❤️❤️❤️
As a man dating muslim ladies. This video has helped me alot❤
uh
Jazakallah for this video
You’re awesome 😂 Where you been all these years?? 😂 You’re like the older sister I never had 🙌🏼
Haha, I am the youngest in my family but the aunt to many nieces and nephews!
Im glad we are hearing it from a woman
I am not a muslim but I love your pointers!!
Thank you!
I'm not Muslim--Eastern Orthodox Christian, actually--but I really agree with the essence of these points! Principally, in Christianity, character and love of God and others matters way more than material wealth, and that means consistent sacrifice of the ego; forgoing finances, forgoing the urge to gossip, forgoing the urge to be unloving to your wife or disrespectful to your husband, all those things are critical, because it's modeled after Christ's loving relationship with the Church. Also - I love your hijab!!!
Hi! Thanks for the dope comment! Yes, these are similar values shared by any God-conscious person, the relinquishing of the spiritual ego to seek what is closer to God and better! Also your voice is stunningggg allahuma barak (may God bless itl).
So percentage of men making comments on this compared to women, shows how much women have appreciated the bad things as "normal".
Great video and topic sister, Allahmma baarik
Baatak Allah fekeum
I agree w your points. Its very difficult for me to get rid of the men are trash mindset but inshallah one day i can overcome it :,/
isA, we need to see people as individuals responsible for their own actions rather than a cursed collective.
you are maligning, belittling 50% of muslim population with that mindset, gaining sins for all of it. Think about it.
Where does that mentality come from? Social media?
You need to go outside first, that should help
I think it's a collective mindset that came from a western feminist influence that made its round through social media for sure@@Sakinah768
keep on at it sister , our muslim women need a wake up call to reality.
Am Christian. Your religion and way of life has very good fundamentals, we can learn to make us better.
They are all Abrahmic religions, they are all copy and paste of each other
Advice: Change the settings of your mic. Voice looks a bit shriller, could be more deep and bassy.. adds more worth listening
I’m a lot more likely to choose a spouse who is humble and modest with her marriage requirements making it easier for the both of us granted we have a good connection and faith. Making the marriage process more simple and affordable is the best way to get married, not to mention it is highly recommended to do it this way in Islam.
Been trying to find a muslima. It was a tough ride. Still sort of looking for one dou.
Very helpful sister. And your little quips are funny