Assalamualaikum. I am Mufti Abdurrahman Abdulawal, and I have been educated in various authentic Islamic institution, including memorizing the Quran from Masjid Nabawi in the prophet’s city of Medina, graduating with honors after being among the top ten memorizers of the Holy Quran. Since then, I have become an Islamic scholar, and studied hadith and jurisprudence under renowned scholars, and right now, I am a teacher at Darul Quran WasSunnah and a member of the Sharia Board of New York. There is a point I wish to reiterate to all my Muslim brothers. Chastity is the most important aspect of Islam. And I am also married, so I feel it is incumbent upon me to enlighten some people about the proper way to discuss marital relations. I wanted to highlight one important point. Islam teaches that we were created to worship and obey Allah and His Messenger. Our Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) lived by this principle, and even though he could have become very wealthy by doing a lot of business, he chose to remain in poverty until his death. Believers were not sent to this world for enjoying luxuries. Indulgence in any sort of excessive pleasures is counterproductive for human beings. Due to our own indulgence, and following the practice of the non-Muslims and getting obsessed with sexual activities, there are thousands of Saudi Arabian youths, Kuwait youngsters, Qatari men and women, elderly entrepreneurs from Oman and Bahrain, and even scientists from Indonesia and Malaysia, Africa and India, are now being most severely tortured in CIA’s Bush-era interrogation programs, that are until today, operating in secrecy in many European countries. Some Muslim scream at me don’t you dare make the halal into haram! I tell them don’t you dare blame Allah for it, when you are being tortured in those black sites. The majority of those who were tortured in those black site prisons became non-Muslim and hated Islam, and blamed Allah for their tests. Not only were they sexually assaulted and tortured, they also gave up their Iman. This is what happens when Muslims engage in perverse and sick sexual relations and treat their wives or husbands as carnal flesh. I have interviewed thousands of ex-Muslims and they all admitted that they were very active in marital conjugal relations, and always tried new sick sexual style with their wives, in halal ways of course using sex toys and other deviations. Now, not only did they become ex-Muslims but they also preach against Allah and his Prophet. People are leaving Islam in hordes because they are disgusted by our obsession with sex. Did you ever see Christian priests or a Jewish rabbi uploads shameless video about lust, or relationships or sexual actions? Who do you think Allah will allow into paradise? Muslims are being warned by Allah to be sensible.
The world is not comfort and happiness. The world is patience, examination and work. You must learn patience with the poor husband who works hard to save money. Some girls only want happiness, then happiness. Happiness is only in heaven
I think when you find comfort in your spouse, it truly brings happiness into your life. "And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect." (Quran 30:21)
What the point of staying in marriage if your both not truly happy with each other lol😌 real happiness, peace and individual growth is the key to successfully marriage💯 💁♀️💅🥳🥵👑🤲🏻😍
@@bricoyassin8711that doesn't mean you have to be sad lol you can happy and be patient kind giving etc it's world a test but you have go through challenges in which Allah put you through and above those challenges and finally win 💁♀️💅🥳🥵👑👀👩🎤😎🧕👸👸this worldly test 🤲🏻then you might enter heaven 🤣🤣🤣if you fail the test then you going to hell for sure🤣🤣🤣 Happiness is the real achievement prize if your happy and content with your life you winthis test if not you have failed👎😂😂🎉congratulations🎉🥳
I am about to get married in 6months. And I am nervous and I am watching all islamic advices on marriage. Seeing so many unhappy marriages and failed marriages there's alot of overthinking and nervousness.
Here is an advice from someone who went through marriage nd divorce. 1- just like the lady said don’t have an unrealistic expectations because the moment u do u will be disappointing ur self resulting in not trusting or respecting ur spouse. 2- communication is the key to a happy marriage like really at least 2 hours a day spend it just talking to ur spouse nd vis verse, about ur day, ur dreams, wat piss u off from him/her. 3- never sleep until u fixed whatever problem or fight u had (apologize if ur in the wrong there shouldn’t be egos in marriage) 4- be open about intimacy nd ask ur spouse wat they like nd wat they r comfortable with, this is part of not having unrealistic expectations 5- marriage is a contract between 2 parties to form a family so u should 100% understand wat is ur duties nd ur rights. 6- if u had a problem u couldn’t fix in ur marriage NEVER involve ur family or their’s, go to a marriage consult or a therapist especially if one of u has depression or something. Always seek professional help
One thing is to never take advice from someone who has had a failed marriage, every marriage is different, but take advice from someone who has a successful and long lasting one
@@donabdi4098 for ur info all the things I mentioned r some of my biggest mistakes in my “failed” marriage. I do not shy away from admitting my mistakes nd correcting it. Btw i remarried nd living ma best life 😉
1- unrealistic expectations 2- high standards of one life 3- make a realistic goal 4- strive for life of closeness with Allah 5 - achievable goals that set to make Allah happy with you 6- growth with your marriage 7- marriage is test for everybody 8- be whole before get married, don't depend for your happiness on partner 9- Make yourself up for prayers before marriage 9 - work on your self esteem n self confidence before marriage 10- work on your mindset to see good in others n that's how u ' lol see good in your marriage 11- my spouse should know what I need ? How?
Controlling my standards made a big difference in my life when dealing with my parents. I understood them a lot more after I realized I held them to a high a very high standard that wasn’t fair to them nor was it attainable by them. It made much more happier with them.
but my parents have really high standards for me . like whatever i do it's never good enough. And they always tell me to do more. this makes me really disappointed and sad . and i don't know how to tell it to them or how to make them happy .......
@@briraabid1523 The way I dealt with this with my parents was to tell them one on one that their standards were too high and how it made me feel. I was miserable being under so much pressure and I told them that. I can't be perfect, I make mistakes, I'm human like the Rasool (PBUH) and the Sahaba. If the Sahaba and the Rasool (PBUH) can make mistakes or not be perfect, then so can I.
6:30 is real a gem 💎 to be noted and applied to the rest of life . " We shouldn't do a good deed just with intention to please each other, but with the intention to please Allah, we will never regret even if we are not rated well for the deed"
"Happiness has little to do with your life circumstances, and it has much more to do with the way you think about your life circumstances" 07:38 . Beautifully said
Due to my physical health I was told I’m not good enough for marriage nobody will accept/ wanted me so I was never really supported or helped by mahram guardians This destroyed me completely And I’m “ expired” now actually marriage Only green card use Abuse Proposals are being pushed forced my way Just praying Allah forgive me have mercy on me and grant me jannah tul firdus in some hopes Allah will bless me with a spouse in jannah
Allah (S.W.T) planned the best for you alhamdulillah ! Until then focus on Working in your confidence and also being Comfortable with your yourself. Someone great told me that if you focus on yourself Allah (S.W.T) will handle the rest and Wallah it’s true♥️ you do your part and Leave the Rest to Allah (S.W.T). My Duas go out to you and you will prosper and look back at this difficult time. This is your test and you will In Sha Allah pass it!!!!!!
There is more than one way to formulate things. I understand the specificity you are trying to get but understanding the misconception or problem is what’s preparing you. Let’s not point fingers or jus the quick to correct. Allahumma Barik!!
Same here! though I watched this once today, after some days I might worry or expect too much about marriage again. This is a gentle reminder I have to watch it over and over to keep it in mind
Marriage completes half your deen. But your marriage should make you happy at the end of the day, peace is through deen, marriage is about love and happiness and being together with your spouse..
Although we shouldn't completely depend on our spouse for happiness, but we cannot deny the reality stated in verse 8 of Surah AlNaba that we were created in pairs an so in order to fulfill our complete purpose, we should try and get married.
She is really good in her explanations, on point. I admire her skill of persuasion and how convincing she sounds. May Allah Azzawajal bless you ustadha for this eye opening lecture about being realistic. Aameen ❤️❤❤
I disagree. Your partner matters a lot in your life and they do impact the person you become after marriage. As far as being responsible for your happiness- sure that’s not their prime responsibility but shouldn’t be neglected either. We should consider it as our responsibility to make our spouses happy. And when you fulfill that responsibility most of the time it works. Also if you’re married to the right person then maybe they won’t mind waking you up for Fajr or going to Jummah with you or whatever form of Ibadah you wish to do together. And not marriage per se but the right partner does increase your self-confidence too. So a lot of it has to do with how much your spouse gives and tolerates you and how much you give back and tolerate them. Your spouse is your main responsibility- don’t neglect it.
My husband divorced me despite all my concessions and sacrifices. I tried to reconcile but he didn't want to acknowledge my efforts and he gave up on our marriage but al hamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. May Allah Bless Him. Please keep us in your duaas. Allah Is the Greatest ❤️
Same i think its time to move on in life i know its not easy but we relaize that what comes around gos around you dont put on the same shoes you had on
"Unrealistic expectation" can also be how people will try to get you to accept nonsense or that baseline human decency is unattainable. I've heard it said that it's unrealistic to expect that a potential spouse observes the 5 pillars or it's unrealistic for a religious person to also have *a* job. These are both incredibly realistic and a baseline ask at that. This talk really needs to flesh out this topic a bit more so that people are clear on both extremes and what actually is a reasonable expectation because alot of people are trying to manipulate others and alot of people are getting conned. Let's look out for the community.
I think you should update the title from "Signs You Are Ready To Get Married" to "Expectations you should have from the marriage". I clicked this video by the intention to getting key points from the said title. Instead, I got something else.
Much needed knowledge about realistic marriage! Kindly share more content on pre- marriage preparation,what kinda of spouse to look out in today’s world in Islamic perception!
With all due honesty, as a divorced 39yo guy, I am not really ready to get married again and I doubt if I'll ever be. For some reason, it just feels like it's something more than impossible. This is just my case though. Marriage is good, it is Sunnah.
Every time you think about it (the divorce) make doa Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'oon,O Allah reward me for this musibah and replace it with something better. In sha Allah instead of scared or losing faith , you will get Mercy from Allah and something good from Allah. Allah knows best.
what I understand is that: to learn swimming we don't just do it by reading a book/listening to a lecture, we actually have to practice in the pool. That is, although we try to improve ourselves and expectations, we only truly explore ourselves from within once we get married, then we explore ourselves to better ourselves together one step at a time and take our time to discuss each topic thoroughly and enjoyably 🥰
❤ I am single 36 years old and 178 c and 77 kg , I have new home and work , I really looking for marriage and relationships and serious woman her age under 35 years old and
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله From my humble experience of searching online, I think that as a practicing Muslim who's really not glued to this Dunia, those standards that are essential, you should never lower them. You're looking for something rare?, that's why you should strive and be patient and make Du'a sincerely in stances in which Du'a is mostly acceptable.
It's a very thoughtful video, sister. Subhanallah. I see how the pressure to say the right thing forces you to say "right?" when there is nobody to respond 😔Put your trust in Allah, make the intention to share a very important message to your audience, Have faith and you will succeed in delivering your message more effectively. Jazakallah Khair!
respect your partner stayfriendly with partner and talk to her or him when your not agree with him dont break thier trust stay loyal to each other give space to each other dont say abusing words
Masha'ALLAH sister has got a very valuable topic,it's a very important,yes I totally agree many thing's we do should be for the Sake of ALLAH ,and with the men side they should behave themselves and do more of communication,this is the most craving for a female to start off with,and also Supportive,and also they should be a Security Shelter for the wife's and children's daughter's,sometimes if some need Safe Guarding what on earth blinking Coward's Marham are they for the member of female's within the family etc 😊🙂🙂👍🤲
Sister You 100% right. But todays reality is No Money No wife. I am 32 & I have no house and money, also I might have other physical issues. May be it will never fix. I am mentally prepared to live rest of my alone. it's difficult to live like that and fast rest of the life. I wanted a normal life. I have problems also feelings. I Quite,
@@justtheaesome6058 so what should people do who haven't enough wealth to get married ? Not having much money means that you can't marry? Or why girls are more about money than personality although they are Muslimas?
Aslamoalicom Dear Sister Thanks for your excellent topic you have been selected to expose this information about great relationship between cuapule. Keeping forward Allah bless you always and your family aswell.
JAK - beautiful couple of points I liked: 1 - Marrying to get closer to Allah ( by staying away from Haram relationship ) and for growth ( Khalifa on the earth) 2 - Not everything on the social-media is ideal (or correct info) for all the situations for all couples: "she" posted on the social-media "husband is bring tea on the bed before he goes to work :):) or never asked her to make him bf when going for work :) :) " and later on found out the couple going through divorce :( :( because of having spousal abuse at home.
I think that if you're 35 you should just go for it man (or woman). Why are you running away from it? When are you gonna commit? Are you gonna keep telling yourself why you shouldn't do this and that until you become old and regret not doing the things you wanted to do in your life? Just go for it.
I am 34 now and yet to get married. Apparently according to subcontinent I am too old to find someone good and compromise is the best option. My younger sister is married and now i feel such hopelessness and grief. I have been praying to marry for very long and trying to find a good spouse😢 But right now all hope is lost for me
When you separate things in life it becomes easier to solve their problems. Give everything in your life its time and effort. People mix marriage with work, work with school, school with whatever it is. Learn to keep things in their own lane. For example, why do we work? We work because we want to be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle. Why do we get married? For companionship, for our sexual needs and to have a family for those who want to. Why do we go to school? To educate ourselves. These things are separate and their progress differs. I've never been able to understand why can't people multi progress their lives if that makes sense haha. You can go to school, work or anything else and married at the same time. Where did we get this illusion that we need to be this or that to be in a marriage or to be at a certain level of something to be deemed worthy. I totally understand people are different, different perspective but almost everyone desires to be in a relationship. Relationships are third to money and food. We can do everything parallel to each other at different paces. Progress things parallel to each other so it doesn't affect everything else. Why do you work? because of money simple as that, some people are fortunate enough to earn a living through the things they love to do so that's a huge bonus and positive. Your work is work, how much you make should never be a factor in your marriage same way how handsome you are or how beautiful you are never matters at work or anything else outside of a marriage. Put things in their lane it will be manageable, not easy but manageable. Tests will be there in everything no matter, Allah will test you. So long as you don't forget there will be tests, you will have a happy and long marriage by the will of Allah of course, yes happy marriage. Sadly marriage is a transaction now, if you're a broke man never ask a girl's father for her hand in marriage, the answer will be no. It's not about deen or for the sake of Allah. That intention was long forgotten. Its always about how comfortable can you make my life? What's the best way to live a comfortable life? Money. Marriage is not about deen anymore, if it was we wouldn't be in this crisis. If people were getting married for the sake of Allah then there wouldn't be a lot of single people, zina wouldn't be as easy as it is now. Having sex is easier than getting married, its actually encouraged within the muslim community. By making marriage difficult you encourage zina automatically, you don't need to say it out loud to encourage it. If the truth was shown by dawah channels people would realize how bad it is but the truth is always the last thing to come out. Believe it or not, a muslim praying 5 times a day, who has memorized the quran will think you're crazy and stupid for depending on Allah 100%. The truth is always the last thing to come out. But there is hope, there is Allah, He owns everything and with patience and working hard to be a better muslim then Allah may grant you a happy, beautiful, fulfilling marriage, Allah may grant you a spouse who understands why they are in that marriage.
JazakAllah khairun Kaseera for Very beneficial Points mentioned.👍 Infact these points are sensed as Foundation/Base to Build Any Marriage- Relationship On. Sister Sarah , As always A pleasure in listening & learning. BarakAllahu feeki 💐
SUB'HAANA ALLAH...!!!What a great speach,advice,knowledge and i must say a mixture of all psychological, physical and spritual contents...hats off to you sister...must listen by all wheather you are parent,child,spouse or a simple human being .....
Interesting Video, will hit 1mn view very soon. There are lots of women we know that in our family and your family are looking for a partner than men and women are emotionally effected being single. Therefore we feel that learned scholars like you have to address the women in general to accept and support their husband to marry another at least a widow in their own family to support the society. There are enough of men who are capable of looking after the 2nd in our society and you know where it is blocking. Please do a video for women in general encouraging them to allow their man who can look after the 2nd to marry and protect their man from Major Sin
As Salaam alaikum mam Nice video But unfortunately i am always rejected in life because i am black also people judge me with money She is not even doing job or earning Then why the hell must this girl marry I have got this comment directly on my face from many marriage proposals I know mam May Allah SWT make it easy for all of us if possible to have good akhlaaq and goodness in their heart first then they'll understand Not become extreme in choosing a partner because i NEVER EVER have joked about any man who doesn't have job Such marriage offers have came to me but they still told i am too black so i have to give up The most funny part is such brutal people judge me reject me and go but unfortunately ultimately i will suffer at home My parents also think same that I am just too ugly Also they daily fight with me that I don't earn money and sitting in home and no one will consider me at all Daily i am suffering people can just comment and go they will NEVER know the consequences i have to face aftermath Astagfirullah for those people Atleast let them see themselves properly first and then judge others in this no human is Angel or beauty is not going to stay permanently so Atleast this much i request everyone to understand NOTE- [Don't go for marriage when you are going to ask mysterious amount of dowry from the girl, my request if possible] Such people need not marry and it is not at all mandatory on them. Jazakallah Khair
Sorry about your situation in Islam it is men who pay the dowry and provide for the family Make duaa in sujuud during tahajjud time, ask Allaah for righteous person and Also to make us among the righteous
sorry you’re dealing with this, may Allah make it easier for you and reward you thru this test. you’re not ugly, your culture just has jaahil standards from shaytan. and you don’t wanna be with someone or in a family where they only look at you as object or as a wallet, since that’s not the value of a woman. Allah gave women our worth and value without materialistic or shallow things. servants of Allah shine with noor from the Almighty to the angels who look at earth. so just live your life and live for Allah in whatever way works for you, don’t let society bully you into one thing or the other
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Assalamualaikum. I am Mufti Abdurrahman Abdulawal, and I have been educated in various authentic Islamic institution, including memorizing the Quran from Masjid Nabawi in the prophet’s city of Medina, graduating with honors after being among the top ten memorizers of the Holy Quran. Since then, I have become an Islamic scholar, and studied hadith and jurisprudence under renowned scholars, and right now, I am a teacher at Darul Quran WasSunnah and a member of the Sharia Board of New York. There is a point I wish to reiterate to all my Muslim brothers. Chastity is the most important aspect of Islam. And I am also married, so I feel it is incumbent upon me to enlighten some people about the proper way to discuss marital relations. I wanted to highlight one important point. Islam teaches that we were created to worship and obey Allah and His Messenger. Our Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) lived by this principle, and even though he could have become very wealthy by doing a lot of business, he chose to remain in poverty until his death. Believers were not sent to this world for enjoying luxuries. Indulgence in any sort of excessive pleasures is counterproductive for human beings.
Due to our own indulgence, and following the practice of the non-Muslims and getting obsessed with sexual activities, there are thousands of Saudi Arabian youths, Kuwait youngsters, Qatari men and women, elderly entrepreneurs from Oman and Bahrain, and even scientists from Indonesia and Malaysia, Africa and India, are now being most severely tortured in CIA’s Bush-era interrogation programs, that are until today, operating in secrecy in many European countries. Some Muslim scream at me don’t you dare make the halal into haram! I tell them don’t you dare blame Allah for it, when you are being tortured in those black sites.
The majority of those who were tortured in those black site prisons became non-Muslim and hated Islam, and blamed Allah for their tests. Not only were they sexually assaulted and tortured, they also gave up their Iman. This is what happens when Muslims engage in perverse and sick sexual relations and treat their wives or husbands as carnal flesh. I have interviewed thousands of ex-Muslims and they all admitted that they were very active in marital conjugal relations, and always tried new sick sexual style with their wives, in halal ways of course using sex toys and other deviations. Now, not only did they become ex-Muslims but they also preach against Allah and his Prophet.
People are leaving Islam in hordes because they are disgusted by our obsession with sex. Did you ever see Christian priests or a Jewish rabbi uploads shameless video about lust, or relationships or sexual actions? Who do you think Allah will allow into paradise? Muslims are being warned by Allah to be sensible.
When she said, the point of marriage is not happiness, that hit me... deeply. SubhanAllah... growth.
The world is not comfort and happiness. The world is patience, examination and work. You must learn patience with the poor husband who works hard to save money. Some girls only want happiness, then happiness. Happiness is only in heaven
I think when you find comfort in your spouse, it truly brings happiness into your life.
"And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect." (Quran 30:21)
What the point of staying in marriage if your both not truly happy with each other lol😌 real happiness, peace and individual growth is the key to successfully marriage💯 💁♀️💅🥳🥵👑🤲🏻😍
@@bricoyassin8711that doesn't mean you have to be sad lol you can happy and be patient kind giving etc it's world a test but you have go through challenges in which Allah put you through and above those challenges and finally win 💁♀️💅🥳🥵👑👀👩🎤😎🧕👸👸this worldly test 🤲🏻then you might enter heaven 🤣🤣🤣if you fail the test then you going to hell for sure🤣🤣🤣 Happiness is the real achievement prize if your happy and content with your life you winthis test if not you have failed👎😂😂🎉congratulations🎉🥳
I am about to get married in 6months. And I am nervous and I am watching all islamic advices on marriage. Seeing so many unhappy marriages and failed marriages there's alot of overthinking and nervousness.
Here is an advice from someone who went through marriage nd divorce.
1- just like the lady said don’t have an unrealistic expectations because the moment u do u will be disappointing ur self resulting in not trusting or respecting ur spouse.
2- communication is the key to a happy marriage like really at least 2 hours a day spend it just talking to ur spouse nd vis verse, about ur day, ur dreams, wat piss u off from him/her.
3- never sleep until u fixed whatever problem or fight u had (apologize if ur in the wrong there shouldn’t be egos in marriage)
4- be open about intimacy nd ask ur spouse wat they like nd wat they r comfortable with, this is part of not having unrealistic expectations
5- marriage is a contract between 2 parties to form a family so u should 100% understand wat is ur duties nd ur rights.
6- if u had a problem u couldn’t fix in ur marriage NEVER involve ur family or their’s, go to a marriage consult or a therapist especially if one of u has depression or something. Always seek professional help
One thing is to never take advice from someone who has had a failed marriage, every marriage is different, but take advice from someone who has a successful and long lasting one
@@donabdi4098 for ur info all the things I mentioned r some of my biggest mistakes in my “failed” marriage. I do not shy away from admitting my mistakes nd correcting it. Btw i remarried nd living ma best life 😉
We’ll tbh communication is the key in all except of marriage let it be before or after
@@shyxpretion7429 thank you. Good advices. God bless you
1- unrealistic expectations
2- high standards of one life
3- make a realistic goal
4- strive for life of closeness with Allah
5 - achievable goals that set to make Allah happy with you
6- growth with your marriage
7- marriage is test for everybody
8- be whole before get married, don't depend for your happiness on partner
9- Make yourself up for prayers before marriage
9 - work on your self esteem n self confidence before marriage
10- work on your mindset to see good in others n that's how u ' lol see good in your marriage
11- my spouse should know what I need ? How?
Thank you so much for this 😊
Thank you
Wait, where's the part where I get my 72 virgins?
Barakallah feek
number 8 is so important.
Controlling my standards made a big difference in my life when dealing with my parents. I understood them a lot more after I realized I held them to a high a very high standard that wasn’t fair to them nor was it attainable by them. It made much more happier with them.
Totally agree. The moment you understand your parents are humans like and entitled to their own mistakes your whole view changes.
This
but my parents have really high standards for me . like whatever i do it's never good enough. And they always tell me to do more. this makes me really disappointed and sad . and i don't know how to tell it to them or how to make them happy .......
I am suddenly at peace. I had issues with my sister. I am able to move past her flaws. JazakaAllah and stay happy always. (Ameen)
@@briraabid1523 The way I dealt with this with my parents was to tell them one on one that their standards were too high and how it made me feel. I was miserable being under so much pressure and I told them that. I can't be perfect, I make mistakes, I'm human like the Rasool (PBUH) and the Sahaba. If the Sahaba and the Rasool (PBUH) can make mistakes or not be perfect, then so can I.
1) You have to be whole before you get married.
2) Your happiness is your responsibility.
6:30 is real a gem 💎 to be noted and applied to the rest of life .
" We shouldn't do a good deed just with intention to please each other, but with the intention to please Allah, we will never regret even if we are not rated well for the deed"
"Happiness has little to do with your life circumstances, and it has much more to do with the way you think about your life circumstances" 07:38 . Beautifully said
Yes! "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your THOUGHTS" - Stoicism
Due to my physical health I was told I’m not good enough for marriage nobody will accept/ wanted me so I was never really supported or helped by mahram guardians
This destroyed me completely
And I’m “ expired” now actually marriage
Only green card use Abuse
Proposals are being pushed forced my way
Just praying Allah forgive me have mercy on me and grant me jannah tul firdus in some hopes Allah will bless me with a spouse in jannah
may Allah bless you the best thing in dunya and akhira my sister ❤️
In shaaaa Allah, Allah SWT will grant you the coolness of your eyes in this duniya. Ameen. ❤
Ameen
Allah (S.W.T) planned the best for you alhamdulillah ! Until then focus on Working in your confidence and also being Comfortable with your yourself. Someone great told me that if you focus on yourself Allah (S.W.T) will handle the rest and Wallah it’s true♥️ you do your part and Leave the Rest to Allah (S.W.T). My Duas go out to you and you will prosper and look back at this difficult time. This is your test and you will In Sha Allah pass it!!!!!!
May Allah make it easy for you ✨ send you hug
I’m not getting married anytime soon but I love watching videos like these😭
same here😂
lol me too XD
Same
This should be titled misconceptions of marriage the title doesn’t match the video
How
There is more than one way to formulate things. I understand the specificity you are trying to get but understanding the misconception or problem is what’s preparing you. Let’s not point fingers or jus the quick to correct. Allahumma Barik!!
The title is a question not an answer
Yes I need righteous campanionship I want to go muree someone help mefeed good food in hotel alone it is not possible
Whenever anyone's hate pop into your mind ... just sit back and think of good deeds he/she did to you.
" يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ"
[سورة الحجرات:13]
"My spouse should know what I need" I laughed too hard at that one. Lots of mind readers out there.
U are supposed to discuss that together!
great speech by the sister. will save this in my playlist whenever I need a reality check about marriage 😅😀😀
Same here! though I watched this once today, after some days I might worry or expect too much about marriage again. This is a gentle reminder I have to watch it over and over to keep it in mind
Masha ALLAH, but no signs I'm ready to get married.
.... same 😅😂😭😭
Manage your expectations 😉
😂😂
😁😁🤣🤣🤣
Man , Same
Marriage and entrepreneurship are similar. You will never truly understand it unless you get into it 😂
Exactly
@user-bk7fu1mv5h 🤣
So true
point of marriage is peace ,thank you for this video 😊
I truly feel ready for marriage. Please pray that I find a spouse soon iA 🤲 😢
Ameen inshallah same too but my family keeps saying I’m too young 🥲
@@balqees6272 How old are you
@@Hunredbandz I’m 20 😭
@@balqees6272 Sad. 20 is a girls prime they should let you get married
@@Hunredbandz ikr 😭
This video is 3rd time in my recommendation does it's mean Allah is trying to prepare me for marriage 😊
Same here...getting signs every now and then...😊
your voice is really calming. I think everything you said can be applied outside of marriage as well, and on an individual level.
The marriage won’t bring you happiness but it will bring you a huge faith
This is 100% truth.
Hapiness is not the goal for muslims.Peace is.
Marriage completes half your deen. But your marriage should make you happy at the end of the day, peace is through deen, marriage is about love and happiness and being together with your spouse..
Can u elaborate ?
This, this right here is a completely new perspective on perfectionism ! Wow JazakAllahou khairan ! Never thought of it that way!
All the broader aspects of getting married are very well expalined in this video.
Although we shouldn't completely depend on our spouse for happiness, but we cannot deny the reality stated in verse 8 of Surah AlNaba that we were created in pairs an so in order to fulfill our complete purpose, we should try and get married.
This is the best video on marriage in Islam I have watched .May Almighty Allah bless you abundantly.. Jazakhallahu Khairan.
I am so happy following your islamic study. Alhamdulillah. From cilacap indonesia
She is really good in her explanations, on point. I admire her skill of persuasion and how convincing she sounds. May Allah Azzawajal bless you ustadha for this eye opening lecture about being realistic. Aameen ❤️❤❤
A little shift in your perspective can add contentment and sense of gratitude in our lives🌸👍
جزاك الله خيرا أستاذة سارة
فعلاً نفعني الله بك
أحسن الله إليك
جزى الله خيرا كل القائمين على هذه المنصة و على هذا العمل. جزى الله خيراً كلَّ عاملِ خير.
Wow, you broke all of my misconceptions.
I was thinking about being married because of these misconceptions.
Make dua for me get married 43 years have anxiety
In shaaaa Allah Brother. Allah will grant you the coolness of your eyes and soul. Ameen.
May Allah bless you to get a pious spouse..and make you both in love and harmony forever🤲❣️
@@fahimahossain7482 jazakallah
@@muhsinashihabudheen7337 jazakallah
@@sidali2590 آمين وإياكم 🤲❣️🫂
You have to be whole before getting married..
Awesome
MashaAllah ❤
I disagree. Your partner matters a lot in your life and they do impact the person you become after marriage. As far as being responsible for your happiness- sure that’s not their prime responsibility but shouldn’t be neglected either. We should consider it as our responsibility to make our spouses happy. And when you fulfill that responsibility most of the time it works. Also if you’re married to the right person then maybe they won’t mind waking you up for Fajr or going to Jummah with you or whatever form of Ibadah you wish to do together. And not marriage per se but the right partner does increase your self-confidence too. So a lot of it has to do with how much your spouse gives and tolerates you and how much you give back and tolerate them. Your spouse is your main responsibility- don’t neglect it.
Marriage is the relationship between a man and a woman which is individually unique just like the face. Each couple is also unique relationship.
SubhanAllah i got the main point 🙌🏼
❤️ Salam from Bangladesh 🇧🇩
Beautiful! Alhamdulillah I’m glad this was recommended to me 😁
My husband divorced me despite all my concessions and sacrifices. I tried to reconcile but he didn't want to acknowledge my efforts and he gave up on our marriage but al hamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. May Allah Bless Him. Please keep us in your duaas. Allah Is the Greatest ❤️
Same i think its time to move on in life i know its not easy but we relaize that what comes around gos around you dont put on the same shoes you had on
Quite right sister - unreachable standard !
MashAllah very beautiful & beneficial message there. Thank you
"Unrealistic expectation" can also be how people will try to get you to accept nonsense or that baseline human decency is unattainable. I've heard it said that it's unrealistic to expect that a potential spouse observes the 5 pillars or it's unrealistic for a religious person to also have *a* job. These are both incredibly realistic and a baseline ask at that. This talk really needs to flesh out this topic a bit more so that people are clear on both extremes and what actually is a reasonable expectation because alot of people are trying to manipulate others and alot of people are getting conned. Let's look out for the community.
Salaam. I really needed to watch and listen to this. Thank you so much. It really is time to re-condition my brain.
May Allah reward, protect and bless our sister and Sheiykh Waleed Basyouni! ❤
I think you should update the title from "Signs You Are Ready To Get Married" to "Expectations you should have from the marriage".
I clicked this video by the intention to getting key points from the said title.
Instead, I got something else.
Much needed knowledge about realistic marriage! Kindly share more content on pre- marriage preparation,what kinda of spouse to look out in today’s world in Islamic perception!
Islam it’s about peace and shield from evilness
and
So in marriage too but with up and down emotions etc
With all due honesty, as a divorced 39yo guy, I am not really ready to get married again and I doubt if I'll ever be. For some reason, it just feels like it's something more than impossible. This is just my case though. Marriage is good, it is Sunnah.
Every time you think about it (the divorce) make doa Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'oon,O Allah reward me for this musibah and replace it with something better. In sha Allah instead of scared or losing faith , you will get Mercy from Allah and something good from Allah. Allah knows best.
@@Millielai12 thank you
May Allah make it easier for you
what I understand is that: to learn swimming we don't just do it by reading a book/listening to a lecture, we actually have to practice in the pool. That is, although we try to improve ourselves and expectations, we only truly explore ourselves from within once we get married, then we explore ourselves to better ourselves together one step at a time and take our time to discuss each topic thoroughly and enjoyably 🥰
i didn't hear that at all lol. I heard more "work on yourself before you get married, so you can be good in marriage."
❤ I am single 36 years old and 178 c and 77 kg , I have new home and work , I really looking for marriage and relationships and serious woman her age under 35 years old and
So educated so calm so strong, Allah blesse you, I learn alot from this
Realistic approach is the best
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله
From my humble experience of searching online, I think that as a practicing Muslim who's really not glued to this Dunia, those standards that are essential, you should never lower them.
You're looking for something rare?, that's why you should strive and be patient and make Du'a sincerely in stances in which Du'a is mostly acceptable.
Thank you for this.. I’m so anxious to find someone.. in the end keep just hurting myself.. May Allah ease all our affairs
Ameen!
I took many notes, thank you!
MashaAllah sister Sarah Sultan jazaki Allahu khairen
best one yet changed my views in instant.. Allah (SWT) knows best does best ..
It's a very thoughtful video, sister. Subhanallah. I see how the pressure to say the right thing forces you to say "right?" when there is nobody to respond 😔Put your trust in Allah, make the intention to share a very important message to your audience, Have faith and you will succeed in delivering your message more effectively. Jazakallah Khair!
Through your lessons I have recently noticed I am a naive kid ! Thank you for your informative content
Assalamualikum, may allah accept our all good deeds and rewards us pious spouses who will be coolness of our eyes! ameen
BarakAllahu feeki Sister. Beautifully put together 💖
Mashallah. Beautiful sister you are doing good dawa. We need it .May Allah s.w.t bless you here and hereafter. Ameen.
respect your partner stayfriendly with partner and talk to her or him when your not agree with him dont break thier trust stay loyal to each other
give space to each other
dont say abusing words
Masha'ALLAH sister has got a very valuable topic,it's a very important,yes I totally agree many thing's we do should be for the Sake of ALLAH ,and with the men side they should behave themselves and do more of communication,this is the most craving for a female to start off with,and also Supportive,and also they should be a Security Shelter for the wife's and children's daughter's,sometimes if some need Safe Guarding what on earth blinking Coward's Marham are they for the member of female's within the family etc 😊🙂🙂👍🤲
Sister You 100% right.
But todays reality is No Money No wife. I am 32 & I have no house and money, also I might have other physical issues. May be it will never fix. I am mentally prepared to live rest of my alone. it's difficult to live like that and fast rest of the life. I wanted a normal life.
I have problems also feelings. I Quite,
Women typically do look for wealth in a man when looking for marriage.
@@justtheaesome6058 so what should people do who haven't enough wealth to get married ? Not having much money means that you can't marry? Or why girls are more about money than personality although they are Muslimas?
@@begnazaraxmadjonov4501 I don't know I'm not a scholar
@@justtheaesome6058 I asked just your opinion, what do you think about that ?
Wishing you the very best. May Allah make it easy for you and grant you a righteous wife.
Yes. Iam. Ready. Insha. Allah. Kheyr.
Aslamoalicom Dear Sister
Thanks for your excellent topic you have been selected to expose this information about great relationship between cuapule.
Keeping forward Allah bless you always and your family aswell.
JAK - beautiful couple of points I liked:
1 - Marrying to get closer to Allah ( by staying away from Haram relationship ) and for growth ( Khalifa on the earth)
2 - Not everything on the social-media is ideal (or correct info) for all the situations for all couples: "she" posted on the social-media "husband is bring tea on the bed before he goes to work :):) or never asked her to make him bf when going for work :) :) " and later on found out the couple going through divorce :( :( because of having spousal abuse at home.
No, I'm not ready yet
I'm 35, still single, bachelor
Because I have not enough money to pay the cost of marriage and to continue married life.
.
I think that if you're 35 you should just go for it man (or woman).
Why are you running away from it? When are you gonna commit? Are you gonna keep telling yourself why you shouldn't do this and that until you become old and regret not doing the things you wanted to do in your life?
Just go for it.
It's been 10 years and I just really hope to get married now. I really hope I find a friend soon 🙏 💛
Inshallah you will get married Inshallah ❤ believe in yourself self
MaashaAllah very beneficial. I was waiting for more. It ended and she seemed to still be talking ❤
JazakAllahu khair and the background is gorgeous
Allahamdulliah, i cleared all my misconceptions,thanks so much...
Great speaker but the title is a clickbait. Where are the signs 'you are ready to get married'.
Great speech Ma Sha Allah.
May God bless us the Umma ❤
Nice video, but the title does not fully represent the video
I am 34 now and yet to get married. Apparently according to subcontinent I am too old to find someone good and compromise is the best option. My younger sister is married and now i feel such hopelessness and grief. I have been praying to marry for very long and trying to find a good spouse😢 But right now all hope is lost for me
Very well said
Jazakallah Khair sister ❤❤
❤❤. Yes 💯 I'm sure that really ready ❤❤
When you separate things in life it becomes easier to solve their problems. Give everything in your life its time and effort. People mix marriage with work, work with school, school with whatever it is. Learn to keep things in their own lane.
For example, why do we work? We work because we want to be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle. Why do we get married? For companionship, for our sexual needs and to have a family for those who want to. Why do we go to school? To educate ourselves.
These things are separate and their progress differs. I've never been able to understand why can't people multi progress their lives if that makes sense haha. You can go to school, work or anything else and married at the same time. Where did we get this illusion that we need to be this or that to be in a marriage or to be at a certain level of something to be deemed worthy. I totally understand people are different, different perspective but almost everyone desires to be in a relationship. Relationships are third to money and food. We can do everything parallel to each other at different paces. Progress things parallel to each other so it doesn't affect everything else. Why do you work? because of money simple as that, some people are fortunate enough to earn a living through the things they love to do so that's a huge bonus and positive. Your work is work, how much you make should never be a factor in your marriage same way how handsome you are or how beautiful you are never matters at work or anything else outside of a marriage. Put things in their lane it will be manageable, not easy but manageable. Tests will be there in everything no matter, Allah will test you. So long as you don't forget there will be tests, you will have a happy and long marriage by the will of Allah of course, yes happy marriage.
Sadly marriage is a transaction now, if you're a broke man never ask a girl's father for her hand in marriage, the answer will be no. It's not about deen or for the sake of Allah. That intention was long forgotten. Its always about how comfortable can you make my life? What's the best way to live a comfortable life? Money. Marriage is not about deen anymore, if it was we wouldn't be in this crisis. If people were getting married for the sake of Allah then there wouldn't be a lot of single people, zina wouldn't be as easy as it is now. Having sex is easier than getting married, its actually encouraged within the muslim community. By making marriage difficult you encourage zina automatically, you don't need to say it out loud to encourage it. If the truth was shown by dawah channels people would realize how bad it is but the truth is always the last thing to come out. Believe it or not, a muslim praying 5 times a day, who has memorized the quran will think you're crazy and stupid for depending on Allah 100%. The truth is always the last thing to come out.
But there is hope, there is Allah, He owns everything and with patience and working hard to be a better muslim then Allah may grant you a happy, beautiful, fulfilling marriage, Allah may grant you a spouse who understands why they are in that marriage.
I owe you one, i appreciate it..
Macha'allah , that made perfect sense ! Baraka Allahu Fiki.
thanks, very good insights.
JazakAllah khairun Kaseera for
Very beneficial Points mentioned.👍
Infact these points are sensed as Foundation/Base to Build Any Marriage- Relationship On.
Sister Sarah , As always A pleasure in listening & learning.
BarakAllahu feeki 💐
So many gems! ❤
I didn't watch your video till end but i gave you like and subscribe, because of the way you are wearing (your Hijab).
Really eye opening video and very practical too mashaAllah. jAk.
Jazakallah khair sister i feel so content now🥰
Very Enlightening for me.
Thank you
SUB'HAANA ALLAH...!!!What a great speach,advice,knowledge and i must say a mixture of all psychological, physical and spritual contents...hats off to you sister...must listen by all wheather you are parent,child,spouse or a simple human being .....
Excellent video. Misconception she mentions are great! one of them is : You don't marry to become Happy. 😆
conclusion : you gotta be whole firstbecause they wont be your second half lol
Is this sarcasm?
Interesting Video, will hit 1mn view very soon.
There are lots of women we know that in our family and your family are looking for a partner than men and women are emotionally effected being single. Therefore we feel that learned scholars like you have to address the women in general to accept and support their husband to marry another at least a widow in their own family to support the society. There are enough of men who are capable of looking after the 2nd in our society and you know where it is blocking.
Please do a video for women in general encouraging them to allow their man who can look after the 2nd to marry and protect their man from Major Sin
This is great.
I'm so thankful to you dear, May Allah SWT give you reward for this I this world and hereafter.
I'm truly truly thankful to you.
Yes am ready and waiting for the right one InshaAllah
Me 2 inn sha Allah
InshaAllah sis may Allah give us a good spouse
@@ashwaaaqbae Ameen
Allah bless you and your future marriage
Nice explanation and I hope this works for me.
Content of heart ❤️ alhamdulilah.
As Salaam alaikum mam
Nice video
But unfortunately i am always rejected in life because i am black also people judge me with money
She is not even doing job or earning
Then why the hell must this girl marry
I have got this comment directly on my face from many marriage proposals
I know mam
May Allah SWT make it easy for all of us if possible to have good akhlaaq and goodness in their heart first then they'll understand
Not become extreme in choosing a partner because i NEVER EVER have joked about any man who doesn't have job
Such marriage offers have came to me but they still told i am too black so i have to give up
The most funny part is such brutal people judge me reject me and go but unfortunately ultimately i will suffer at home
My parents also think same that I am just too ugly
Also they daily fight with me that I don't earn money and sitting in home and no one will consider me at all
Daily i am suffering people can just comment and go they will NEVER know the consequences i have to face aftermath
Astagfirullah for those people
Atleast let them see themselves properly first and then judge others in this no human is Angel or beauty is not going to stay permanently so
Atleast this much i request everyone to understand
NOTE- [Don't go for marriage when you are going to ask mysterious amount of dowry from the girl, my request if possible]
Such people need not marry and it is not at all mandatory on them.
Jazakallah Khair
May Allah grant you ease and help you Ameen ❤
May Allah bless you with a good husband.....who cares you and love you
Sorry about your situation
in Islam it is men who pay the dowry and provide for the family
Make duaa in sujuud during tahajjud time, ask Allaah for righteous person and Also to make us among the righteous
sorry you’re dealing with this, may Allah make it easier for you and reward you thru this test. you’re not ugly, your culture just has jaahil standards from shaytan. and you don’t wanna be with someone or in a family where they only look at you as object or as a wallet, since that’s not the value of a woman. Allah gave women our worth and value without materialistic or shallow things. servants of Allah shine with noor from the Almighty to the angels who look at earth. so just live your life and live for Allah in whatever way works for you, don’t let society bully you into one thing or the other
Yes I'm ready for marriage
JazakaAllah khair sister Sara.
I needed to hear this