if you think someone might be a narcissist, it doesn't really matter if they actually are one. if you are treated in a way that makes you even think about it, just end it. it's not worth it. if your attempts to bring up issues that bother you are met with contempt and dismissal it’s 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, time to walk away. red flags i watch for in people: -behavior not matching words -can't take accountability -they get upset if you treat them exactly the same way they treat you -can't take any amount of constructive criticism -incessant need for power and control -how they react when you say no, lack of respect for your boundaries -lack of empathy for you or others -envy/jealousy -inability to self-reflect -do i feel worse around this person cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
i don't agree. You (we) could be totally overacting to something innocent said or done by someone . We also have responsibility to work on our own trauma and not put it offf on people who may just be out of touch or clueless. Not every comment by every person is meant to hutr us. We have to learn how to discearn. ( and i know you are going to ake this comment as super aggressive toward you...but please just think about whatI'm saying)
@@jHeyJude i respect your right to have an opinion, however i am very comfortable at age 50 with how i handle my business. that's because of the time i have invested in myself over the past 4 years to learn about the science of toxic behaviors. people as legal aged adults know what they are doing, when they choose to manipulate. as a recovering people pleaser, my 2 biggest lessons learned the past 4 years (out of the list of red flags) were to establish and enforce boundaries, and to watch how people react when they get treated the same as what they are doing to me. i treat people fair, and then i adjust my treatment to how they are treating me. i don't ask or expect people to do more for me than i would for them. if a person is reasonable, i don't mind going the extra mile when it's really needed. you don't lose real friends when you unapologetically set and enforce boundaries. you lose abusers, users, manipulators, narcissists, control freaks and mental health destroying leeches. my life has drastically improved alone just from enforcing boundaries. at my age i'd rather cut off suspect toxic people early, than to hang on too late. if you still feel that setting boundaries and seeing people for who they are is overreacting, i'll take that as a compliment. -cheers, steven
I remember being in high school (many years ago now) and feeling bad for all the gorgeous girls knowing that most of them were going to be the victims of multiple narcissists. These shallow freaks are especially going to target women with blonde hair and blue eyes. No wonder why you are an expert on them. I am in a different situation (older man) and I have been targeted a few times in my life by elitist narcissists and I have become very sensitive to detecting them and avoiding them. Thank G-d it has only happened a handful of times in my long life. I now know why they targeted me and I now take steps to try to hide it so that I do not trigger them. Anytime a person that has a special gifted quality, be it beauty, brains, talent, money, etc., it is going to stir the pot for narcissists. These shallow freaks will try to build up their self image by associating with that special quality and/or they are going to target the gifted person because they are a threat to their self worth. It reminds me of the glamour girls in high school that hung out with one another and were each other's frenemies. lol
Your explanation of intimacy was so perfect....intimacy isn't being enmeshed or entangled and intertwined with another person, it's 100% transparency with another person and being able to parallel one another within that level of transparency and trust with another person. Very, very, very helpful. Thank you!
So helpful for dating and getting to let new people into my social circle again - thanks Meadow. I just signed up to a French class and I was a bit hypervigilant ;- Golden Nuggets for me - "this is how self-worth it built, by having a sense of self" | if there is one narcissist there will be more -" they are like cock roaches" | just being there is an asset ("you are not a liability" ...mostly I was made to feel a liability and have happily gone no contact for a year to build a stronger sense of self.
Same goes for BPD. My Mom was borderline, and I couldn't relate to kids with well-adjusted parents. Dad was basically a victim as well, and wouldn't stand up to her in order to keep the peace.
its almost not possible to stand up against, because than they are passive-aggressive and hurting you more in other ways...like cheating etc. for a father it is not easy to leave such a woman, because then the children are unprotected with the BPD Woman... I am so sorry for you❤😢... I am in a relations with a male BPD and have 2kids, it is really very anstrengend and exhausting...its like having a teenage boy in your home not a men who can support...
Thanks for this really nice and enlightening conversation. It felt good watching and listening. With some of Aaron's comments I thought "oh man, he's like me!" I also often have the impression that there are simply far too many unhealthy people in the world ... By the way: I read Eckhart Tolle “The Power of now”. It teaches you how to be present and stay in the moment.
I agree. I think there’s so many people out there who don’t have the ability or the space to self-reflect and work on their healing. That used to be me, until the relationship I talked about with Meadow fell apart and I couldn’t stop crying on calls to my friend about it, even though it was clear that I wasn’t at fault, and was in fact dealing with a narcissist. That’s when I hit the rock bottom I needed to hit to finally find a therapist. I’d been saying “Yeah, I should probably do that.” for a decade at that point… I’m miles from where I was a year ago, and I have so many parts that need healing, but at least I can finally see that now. It’s going to take a lot of work, but I’m so glad I finally started, and this conversation with Meadow was another huge eye-opener. We got this 💪 (Oh and thanks for the book rec, I’ll have to check it out!)
@@AaronRHale not sure your age. i am 50 myself. i've been watching videos and studying up for the past 4 years. it's made a huge difference. anyhow you come across as a very likeable, sincere person. def use the resources you have at hand to the fullest. you mentioned you have ADHD, i have that as well. try to use the hyperfocus to your advantage by channeling that energy into learning and applying the knowledge into wisdom. leverage the success and failures of others so that you can cut down on make mistakes that you're going to make on your own. as a fellow male i applaud you for taking ownership for your personal emotional development because it's not easy to do, and society expects males to be mentally tough, no matter what. as far as books, these are books that i personally bought and they were fantastic for me. consider: -if i'd only known by chelsey brooke cole -navigating narcissists by danielle radin 🔥 keep fighting the good fight and stay relentless. you will continue to have to make tough decisions with people including family, as you learn more about toxic behaviors. as long as you are giving people a fair handshake, don't feel guilty for enforcing boundaries, standing up for yourself, having shit-tests (that fit best with your values) with suspect people, and cutting off people who are not a positive fit for you. and be prepared to deal with conflict because it's inevitable. pick your battles...don't start a fight but finish one if your back gets pushed to the wall. you'll see as time goes by what battles you'll need to fight, and what 10 cent battles don't deserve $10 worth of energy. wishing you all the best. -cheers, steven
Thank you this was very helpful, I feel I am at a similar stage of working on having a self - and its surprising how many people don’t like it and shocking when people do lol I will re listen to this episode ❤
SIR - YOU HAVE BEEN AN ASSET TO ME BY ME LISTENING TO YOU. THE WORLD IS (NOWB- NOT WILL BE) -THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE BY YOU BEING IN IT! THERE IS NO SNEAKY SIDE TO YOU AND I SEE YOUR HEART AS BEING A PURE HEART. I FEEL GOOD WITH THIS VID-ENCOUNTER WITH YOU. A BIT MORE FAITH IN THE HUMAN RACE. THANK YOU ❤️
An idea for another video (I don't find it on your channel): What happens after the "end" of the relationship? Phases of separation maybe, pitfalls, things to expect/watch out/do so this is an actual end and not some degree of a half baked state that has a hold on you till you die.
A narcissist is anyone who fails to realize that I am the center of the universe. And those people are very easy to spot. For example, I was driving in a car, obviously trying to get somewhere, and thousands of people were on the highway blocking me when they could simply have pulled over and let me go. Self center narcissists... all of them! :P
ALSO - THANK YOU LADY … FOR YOUR BALANCE. WE MUMS HAVE MADE PLENTY MISTAKES - MY AGE GROUP DID NOT HAVE THE BENEFIT OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL KNOWLEDGE THATS AVAILABLE NOW. SOME OF US - INCLUDING ME - WERE VERY CONTROLLING OUT OF FEAR AND NOT KNOWING WHY BUT NOT OUT OF WANTING TO DAMAGE OUR BELOVED CHILDREN. YOU RAISE THIS VERY VALUABLE POINT. THIS IS NOT RAISED NEARLY ENOUGH. I THANK YOU. NARCISSISTS, ESPECIALLY COVERT TYPE, CAUSE PARENTAL ALIENATION AND MANY TEACHINGS MISS OUT THIS VITAL POINT. IF WE NOT KNOW ABOUT THE MANY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE EVIL PLOYS OF THE NARCISSIST BUT WE EXPERIENCE THE FEELINGS OF THE SITUATION AS UNSAFE WE NATURALLY GO ALL OUT TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN. UNFORTUNATELY THE DEFAULT POSITION TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN US TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. THIS IS MOTHERS (OR FATHERS) DOING THE BEST THEY KNOW HOW. IT IS NOT OF EVIL INTENT! , CONTROL CAN BE EVIL ESPECIALLY BUT WE MUST ALWAYS CONSIDER INTENT. OH! IF ONLY I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN - KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW. I SO WISH I HADN’T MADE MISTAKES. BUT MY CHILDREN KNOW I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED THEM ABD WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR THEM IN A HEARTBEAT. ❤️ THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BRINGING THIS TO LIGHT IN YOUR VIDEO, HOWEVER BRIEFLY. I AM HAPPILY SUBSCRIBED 🩷 AND LOVE TO ALL YOU MUMS WHO DID YOUR BEST & WITH LOVE 🥰🙏🙌
That helped a bit. I still feel like I need some enhanced perception or mind reading skills since some very dangerous people are very skilled at disguising who they are and what their real intentions are. Thanks, I think that helped point me in the correct direction for finding a solution.
@silentvoice4970 unfortunately that is the reality of narcissists. they only care about what you can provide them as a net benefit. they take, you give. anyone who stands up for themselves or threatens to expose the narc for who they are is seen as a liability. -cheers, steven
It's not sitting right with me that the guy was asked what else he "geeks out on" besides work. It makes dating feel like a job interview. And while you should take dating seriously and put your best foot forward, many of us would freeze up from a question like that even if we have things we're into besides our jobs. It seems like his date was putting him on the spot in a way that's not natural and seems judgemental. I've had one guy do that to me when I was dating and it was uncomfortable. Once I learned about narcissism I could look back and see there were other indicators that he was very narcissistic. I'm not saying you shouldn't continue dating just over that question, but it's a red flag to me. 🚩 I think this guy said that he already felt like he should impress his date before he was asked that question which makes me think he was already picking up on the vibe from their first date that if he wanted to move forward with this guy he needed to bring his A game. That's a sign that his date is the wrong person for him. The best person for you will make you feel comfortable about just being yourself, and you should be feeling enjoyment in being around them, not suddenly be in a state of anxiety or fear of being wrong in some kind of way. If you're leaving your body during the date due to anxiety, that person's wrong for you. It's good to work on staying in your body, but it's kind of cool that you've got a built-in mechanism that lets you know when something is off.
I don't think this is a hateful quality, it has good intentions. However, it doesn't necessarily lead to healthier relationships over the long run. So, maybe first, have compassion for the part of you who wants to "fix" things. Then, work to strengthen the part of you who is willing to ask for more.
I'm sorry you're struggling in a relationship, with a guy who mistreats you, with the silent treatment. We don't have to much time here on earth. And relationships with narcissists are so damaging, that people need therapy to recover. Narcissists are not capable of love, or changing. And if your relationship is making you feel unsafe, or unsupported or bad about yourself, then the more time spent with him, the less time you'll have with a partner who loves you, and who you feel safe with.
I am right in the beginning of the video and I have looked at my past and am asking myself was everyone a Narcissist because I could not trust anyone.. Currently I am asking the same question.. Currently I go to 2 different name brand grocery stores and they both rip me off. I have been asking people if they get food delivered and someone said that they will get food that they did not order and they essentially get ripped off. I am even trying to get a part that broke on something and so I have tried to contact the manufacturer with no luck. I am going to try to go back to the store again to see if they have any manufacturer info..
Do you think Meadow that Empaths tend to see themselves as flawed and therefore quick to take blame and responsibility, while narcissistic tendencies tend to see others flawed and so they can disengage from responsibility? It seems to me we all have some narcissistic tendencies, because we all have egos, but strong traits of narcissistic tend to demonstrate more of an empty house - it looks like the lights are on but there's not really someone home.
I found it interesting and valuable to hear the gentleman say that he now acknowledges that other people are flawed, which helped me to see the reality of life instead of the one way view I held. It helped to provide a balance mindset and to not put others on a pedestal but to see we are all trying to learn in this school of life.
Can you suggest some responses to people when they are making me second guess my intuition? Specifically in my work the leadership commonly tells us (down reports) to "consider their good intent" which is in the context of someone else acting out or other bad behavior and my gut instinct tells me the "bad actor" is not an authentic person at all. I am a firm believer that people show us who they are and what they are made of right from the beginning, and it is much easier for us to given them the benefit of the doubt than to actually see whet they are telling or showing us.
I think I bring out the N in others because I am very mutable and like to let others take the lead. Also because I grew up with tons of abuse. I guess I'm damaged - damaged goods. I also have major health issues so... thank God I found true love anyway. This is all in my natal chart and I'm not supposed to have a happy marriage according to astrology and it says I'm better off celibate. This lifetime is about balancing my bad karma.
Once I said to him : what if I will tell you I love Jesus more than you “ for Christian it would be normal . My bad I didn’t expect that :” how dare you! U are f.. fanatic tero…” how could you say that … “ he became silent for 2 weeks and I had to apologise for loving god 😢
He sounds really insecure. My last relationship was with a Christian, he went to church and I didn't. Neither of us saw that as a problem. But receiving the silent treatment for two weeks, then being forced to apologise? If he can't accept you believing something different then him, then the problem is him. People like that are not able to change, they can't love. People should have relationships with partners who truly love them, instead of with people who emotionally abuse others, and make you feel bad about yourself, and unsafe and unhappy, by violating your boundaries, and subjecting you to narcissistic manipulation.
I don't know if you've ever said that to anyone before but I wonder if your subconscious had picked up on something about him and it may have prompted your to ask that question to see how he would react. His reaction makes him seem emotionally immature in my opinion.
You can have love for both, but in different ways I do and did. It’s a different type of relationship and love with a human versus God Both are important and both can be good and it needs to be balanced to both
In some degree. Satan is the prince of this world. Very few have given their lives to Christ and been reborn again from above, so yes. People live by 'self', the very thing Satan fell to, thus the father of selfishness/narcissism/leftism. Read John 8:44 and that was within the 'church' of His day. Imagine what's it like outside in the secular world. Lots of white washed tombs where lies abound such as leftists care about people, love is love, follow your heart, there is no God, all religions lead to the same place, communism just hasn't been done right yet, freedom is bad, tyranny is good, more laws are good, etc...
We all have narcissist traits to some extent, however most people have empathy, and care about other people's wellbeing. Narcissists do a thing called DARVO, which stands for: deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. They also do reactive abuse, where if you get upset when they violate your boundaries, they accuse you of abusing them. If you're questioning if you're a narcissist, it makes me worry, that a narcissist is accusing you of abusing them.
@@davidestabrook5367 it’s so complex, for the past 3 month I have been questioning 24/7 perhaps I’m the bad guy . I grew up with cold mother she did some terrible things to me and all my life I tried to do everything to show I am worth her love . Now this man w even together for 6 years . Every time I said something or did something not as per his expectations he would threat me to “find someone better” I developed very unhealthy attachment . Basically we reached point he verbally abused be and threatened me again and I was in hospital I don’t know what was that … reactive abuse or what but I screenshot everything he said to me to his boss . Only later I found my self apologising and sending out emails to everybody … but it was too late . So perhaps I’m q narcissist .
I believe that narcissism exists on a spectrum and it seems like a very human thing. For me, if someone has a pattern of being abusive to me and/or others around them, then they are likely malignantly narcissistic and I have to stay away from them. At one of the spectrum is your everyday, garden variety narcissist who is probably acting subconsciously due to an abusive upbringing but they really do have your best interests at heart. At the other end of the spectrum is sociopathy and psychopathy which is over the line of malignant narcissism. This means they are not safe to be around.
id say everyone is on the SPECTRUM of narcissism but only certain areas of that spectrum are truly bad, many others are simply problematic and correctable
Get 3 Minute Empowerment Plan delivered to your inbox 📬 meadowdevorcourses.com/uplevel-weekly-yt?el=ep-75
I’ve started living by an Edgar Allen Poe quote, “believe nothing you hear. And only half of what you see.”
if you think someone might be a narcissist, it doesn't really matter if they actually are one. if you are treated in a way that makes you even think about it, just end it. it's not worth it. if your attempts to bring up issues that bother you are met with contempt and dismissal it’s 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, time to walk away.
red flags i watch for in people:
-behavior not matching words
-can't take accountability
-they get upset if you treat them exactly the same way they treat you
-can't take any amount of constructive criticism
-incessant need for power and control
-how they react when you say no, lack of respect for your boundaries
-lack of empathy for you or others
-envy/jealousy
-inability to self-reflect
-do i feel worse around this person
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
i don't agree. You (we) could be totally overacting to something innocent said or done by someone . We also have responsibility to work on our own trauma and not put it offf on people who may just be out of touch or clueless. Not every comment by every person is meant to hutr us. We have to learn how to discearn. ( and i know you are going to ake this comment as super aggressive toward you...but please just think about whatI'm saying)
@@jHeyJude i respect your right to have an opinion, however i am very comfortable at age 50 with how i handle my business. that's
because of the time i have invested in myself over the past 4 years to learn about the science of toxic behaviors.
people as legal aged adults know what they are doing, when they choose to manipulate. as a recovering people pleaser, my 2 biggest lessons learned the past 4 years (out of the list of red flags) were to establish and enforce boundaries, and to watch how people react when they get treated the same as what they are doing to me. i treat people fair, and then i adjust my treatment to how they are treating me. i don't ask or expect people to do more for me than i would for them. if a person is reasonable, i don't mind going the extra mile when it's really needed.
you don't lose real friends when you unapologetically set and enforce boundaries. you lose abusers, users, manipulators, narcissists, control freaks and mental health destroying leeches. my life has drastically improved alone just from enforcing boundaries. at my age i'd rather cut off suspect toxic people early, than to hang on too late.
if you still feel that setting boundaries and seeing people for who they are is overreacting, i'll take that as a compliment.
-cheers, steven
Beautifully, said. Thanks Steven.
@judiday5316 True, that's why all of these tools come down to determining (to the best of your knowledge) over time.
@@meadowdevor thanks for your response and your video today. looking forward to next friday's video.
enjoy your weekend in california.
-cheers, steven
I remember being in high school (many years ago now) and feeling bad for all the gorgeous girls knowing that most of them were going to be the victims of multiple narcissists. These shallow freaks are especially going to target women with blonde hair and blue eyes. No wonder why you are an expert on them.
I am in a different situation (older man) and I have been targeted a few times in my life by elitist narcissists and I have become very sensitive to detecting them and avoiding them. Thank G-d it has only happened a handful of times in my long life. I now know why they targeted me and I now take steps to try to hide it so that I do not trigger them.
Anytime a person that has a special gifted quality, be it beauty, brains, talent, money, etc., it is going to stir the pot for narcissists. These shallow freaks will try to build up their self image by associating with that special quality and/or they are going to target the gifted person because they are a threat to their self worth. It reminds me of the glamour girls in high school that hung out with one another and were each other's frenemies. lol
Your explanation of intimacy was so perfect....intimacy isn't being enmeshed or entangled and intertwined with another person, it's 100% transparency with another person and being able to parallel one another within that level of transparency and trust with another person. Very, very, very helpful. Thank you!
Glad to hear this was helpful.
She literally took my breath away when she said “you’re not a liability” 😮
Dang so much of what Aaron said hit home. It’s crazy how we are all experiencing Parallel experiences.
I love this!
Thanks for watching Bash. ❤️
So helpful for dating and getting to let new people into my social circle again - thanks Meadow. I just signed up to a French class and I was a bit hypervigilant ;-
Golden Nuggets for me - "this is how self-worth it built, by having a sense of self" | if there is one narcissist there will be more -" they are like cock roaches" | just being there is an asset ("you are not a liability" ...mostly I was made to feel a liability and have happily gone no contact for a year to build a stronger sense of self.
Same goes for BPD. My Mom was borderline, and I couldn't relate to kids with well-adjusted parents. Dad was basically a victim as well, and wouldn't stand up to her in order to keep the peace.
Yes. Very true.
its almost not possible to stand up against, because than they are passive-aggressive and hurting you more in other ways...like cheating etc. for a father it is not easy to leave such a woman, because then the children are unprotected with the BPD Woman... I am so sorry for you❤😢...
I am in a relations with a male BPD and have 2kids, it is really very anstrengend and exhausting...its like having a teenage boy in your home not a men who can support...
Thanks for this really nice and enlightening conversation. It felt good watching and listening. With some of Aaron's comments I thought "oh man, he's like me!" I also often have the impression that there are simply far too many unhealthy people in the world ... By the way: I read Eckhart Tolle “The Power of now”. It teaches you how to be present and stay in the moment.
YES. That is a great book. Thanks for sharing here. ❤️
I agree. I think there’s so many people out there who don’t have the ability or the space to self-reflect and work on their healing.
That used to be me, until the relationship I talked about with Meadow fell apart and I couldn’t stop crying on calls to my friend about it, even though it was clear that I wasn’t at fault, and was in fact dealing with a narcissist.
That’s when I hit the rock bottom I needed to hit to finally find a therapist. I’d been saying “Yeah, I should probably do that.” for a decade at that point…
I’m miles from where I was a year ago, and I have so many parts that need healing, but at least I can finally see that now.
It’s going to take a lot of work, but I’m so glad I finally started, and this conversation with Meadow was another huge eye-opener.
We got this 💪
(Oh and thanks for the book rec, I’ll have to check it out!)
@@AaronRHale not sure your age. i am 50 myself. i've been watching videos and studying up for the past 4 years. it's made a huge difference.
anyhow you come across as a very likeable, sincere person. def use the resources you have at hand to the fullest. you mentioned you have ADHD, i have that as well. try to use the hyperfocus to your advantage by channeling that energy into learning and applying the knowledge into wisdom. leverage the success and failures of others so that you can cut down on make mistakes that you're going to make on your own.
as a fellow male i applaud you for taking ownership for your personal emotional development because it's not easy to do, and society expects males to be mentally tough, no matter what.
as far as books, these are books that i personally bought and they were fantastic for me.
consider:
-if i'd only known by chelsey brooke cole
-navigating narcissists by danielle radin 🔥
keep fighting the good fight and stay relentless. you will continue to have to make tough decisions with people including family, as you learn more about toxic behaviors.
as long as you are giving people a fair handshake, don't feel guilty for enforcing boundaries, standing up for yourself, having shit-tests (that fit best with your values) with suspect people, and cutting off people who are not a positive fit for you.
and be prepared to deal with conflict because it's inevitable. pick your battles...don't start a fight but finish one if your back gets pushed to the wall. you'll see as time goes by what battles you'll need to fight, and what 10 cent battles don't deserve $10 worth of energy.
wishing you all the best.
-cheers, steven
Very interesting. Discernment, check with your body. I am an asset, just being.
I wish I could give this guy a hug. His gentleness just shines. I related to this discussion so much.
OMG! the autonomy he talked about, YES I had that too growing up.
A separate self, nope never had it! 😢
Thank you so very much! Very interesting and helpful interview. All the best to this man. And also Meadow has fantastic bracelets.
FLIPPING FANTASTIC GIRL & GENTLEMAN!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
THANK YOU x
Thank you this was very helpful, I feel I am at a similar stage of working on having a self - and its surprising how many people don’t like it and shocking when people do lol
I will re listen to this episode ❤
SIR - YOU HAVE BEEN AN ASSET TO ME BY ME LISTENING TO YOU. THE WORLD IS (NOWB- NOT WILL BE) -THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE BY YOU BEING IN IT!
THERE IS NO SNEAKY SIDE TO YOU AND I SEE YOUR HEART AS BEING A PURE HEART. I FEEL GOOD WITH THIS VID-ENCOUNTER WITH YOU. A BIT MORE FAITH IN THE HUMAN RACE. THANK YOU ❤️
An idea for another video (I don't find it on your channel):
What happens after the "end" of the relationship?
Phases of separation maybe, pitfalls, things to expect/watch out/do so this is an actual end and not some degree of a half baked state that has a hold on you till you die.
A narcissist is anyone who fails to realize that I am the center of the universe. And those people are very easy to spot. For example, I was driving in a car, obviously trying to get somewhere, and thousands of people were on the highway blocking me when they could simply have pulled over and let me go. Self center narcissists... all of them! :P
Thanks for the much-needed laugh, even though it's not funny being caught up with highly narcissistic individuals! ☺
Holy crap ..😳 this is Amazing!!!❤❤❤❤❤
So glad it was valuable. ❤️
ALSO - THANK YOU LADY … FOR YOUR BALANCE. WE MUMS HAVE MADE PLENTY MISTAKES - MY AGE GROUP DID NOT HAVE THE BENEFIT OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL KNOWLEDGE THATS AVAILABLE NOW. SOME OF US - INCLUDING ME - WERE VERY CONTROLLING OUT OF FEAR AND NOT KNOWING WHY BUT NOT OUT OF WANTING TO DAMAGE OUR BELOVED CHILDREN.
YOU RAISE THIS VERY VALUABLE POINT. THIS IS NOT RAISED NEARLY ENOUGH. I THANK YOU.
NARCISSISTS, ESPECIALLY COVERT TYPE, CAUSE PARENTAL ALIENATION AND MANY TEACHINGS MISS OUT THIS VITAL POINT.
IF WE NOT KNOW ABOUT THE MANY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE EVIL PLOYS OF THE NARCISSIST BUT WE EXPERIENCE THE FEELINGS OF THE SITUATION AS UNSAFE WE NATURALLY GO ALL OUT TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN. UNFORTUNATELY THE DEFAULT POSITION TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN US TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. THIS IS MOTHERS (OR FATHERS) DOING THE BEST THEY KNOW HOW.
IT IS NOT OF EVIL INTENT! ,
CONTROL CAN BE EVIL ESPECIALLY BUT WE MUST ALWAYS CONSIDER INTENT.
OH! IF ONLY I COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN - KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW. I SO WISH I HADN’T MADE MISTAKES. BUT MY CHILDREN KNOW I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED THEM ABD WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR THEM IN A HEARTBEAT. ❤️
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BRINGING THIS TO LIGHT IN YOUR VIDEO, HOWEVER BRIEFLY. I AM HAPPILY SUBSCRIBED 🩷 AND LOVE TO ALL YOU MUMS WHO DID YOUR BEST & WITH LOVE 🥰🙏🙌
That helped a bit. I still feel like I need some enhanced perception or mind reading skills since some very dangerous people are very skilled at disguising who they are and what their real intentions are. Thanks, I think that helped point me in the correct direction for finding a solution.
I completely understand. That's why I've devoted myself to making these videos. There's so much to learn!
..'narcissism' is different than being 'narcissistic' is different than being 'anti-altruistic' is different than being 'self-absorbed'..
… and Dads too 🥰🙏🙌
The language of asset & liability is very cold & corporate. I find that dissociating tbh
@silentvoice4970 unfortunately that is the reality of narcissists. they only care about what you can provide them as a net benefit. they take, you give.
anyone who stands up for themselves or threatens to expose the narc for who they are is seen as a liability.
-cheers, steven
Very informative.
It's not sitting right with me that the guy was asked what else he "geeks out on" besides work. It makes dating feel like a job interview. And while you should take dating seriously and put your best foot forward, many of us would freeze up from a question like that even if we have things we're into besides our jobs. It seems like his date was putting him on the spot in a way that's not natural and seems judgemental.
I've had one guy do that to me when I was dating and it was uncomfortable. Once I learned about narcissism I could look back and see there were other indicators that he was very narcissistic.
I'm not saying you shouldn't continue dating just over that question, but it's a red flag to me. 🚩
I think this guy said that he already felt like he should impress his date before he was asked that question which makes me think he was already picking up on the vibe from their first date that if he wanted to move forward with this guy he needed to bring his A game. That's a sign that his date is the wrong person for him. The best person for you will make you feel comfortable about just being yourself, and you should be feeling enjoyment in being around them, not suddenly be in a state of anxiety or fear of being wrong in some kind of way.
If you're leaving your body during the date due to anxiety, that person's wrong for you.
It's good to work on staying in your body, but it's kind of cool that you've got a built-in mechanism that lets you know when something is off.
I always come first to make up even if it’s not my fault :( and I hate that about Myself … I’ll even apologise . He could stay silent for days
I don't think this is a hateful quality, it has good intentions. However, it doesn't necessarily lead to healthier relationships over the long run. So, maybe first, have compassion for the part of you who wants to "fix" things. Then, work to strengthen the part of you who is willing to ask for more.
I'm sorry you're struggling in a relationship, with a guy who mistreats you, with the silent treatment.
We don't have to much time here on earth. And relationships with narcissists are so damaging, that people need therapy to recover.
Narcissists are not capable of love, or changing. And if your relationship is making you feel unsafe, or unsupported or bad about yourself, then the more time spent with him, the less time you'll have with a partner who loves you, and who you feel safe with.
@@davidestabrook5367 thank you so much ! I really appreciate ur response and support 🥹💖
D@mn this was really good
I am right in the beginning of the video and I have looked at my past and am asking myself was everyone a Narcissist because I could not trust anyone.. Currently I am asking the same question.. Currently I go to 2 different name brand grocery stores and they both rip me off. I have been asking people if they get food delivered and someone said that they will get food that they did not order and they essentially get ripped off. I am even trying to get a part that broke on something and so I have tried to contact the manufacturer with no luck. I am going to try to go back to the store again to see if they have any manufacturer info..
Yup.....
Do you think Meadow that Empaths tend to see themselves as flawed and therefore quick to take blame and responsibility, while narcissistic tendencies tend to see others flawed and so they can disengage from responsibility? It seems to me we all have some narcissistic tendencies, because we all have egos, but strong traits of narcissistic tend to demonstrate more of an empty house - it looks like the lights are on but there's not really someone home.
I found it interesting and valuable to hear the gentleman say that he now acknowledges that other people are flawed, which helped me to see the reality of life instead of the one way view I held. It helped to provide a balance mindset and to not put others on a pedestal but to see we are all trying to learn in this school of life.
Can you suggest some responses to people when they are making me second guess my intuition? Specifically in my work the leadership commonly tells us (down reports) to "consider their good intent" which is in the context of someone else acting out or other bad behavior and my gut instinct tells me the "bad actor" is not an authentic person at all. I am a firm believer that people show us who they are and what they are made of right from the beginning, and it is much easier for us to given them the benefit of the doubt than to actually see whet they are telling or showing us.
I think I bring out the N in others because I am very mutable and like to let others take the lead. Also because I grew up with tons of abuse. I guess I'm damaged - damaged goods. I also have major health issues so... thank God I found true love anyway.
This is all in my natal chart and I'm not supposed to have a happy marriage according to astrology and it says I'm better off celibate. This lifetime is about balancing my bad karma.
Is everyone a narcissist? no, but most of the world is caught up in a narcissistic system.
I Don't want to do what ....???
'And you believe at heart everyone's a killer' - Pink Floyd (Dogs)
Once I said to him : what if I will tell you I love Jesus more than you “ for Christian it would be normal . My bad I didn’t expect that :” how dare you! U are f.. fanatic tero…” how could you say that … “ he became silent for 2 weeks and I had to apologise for loving god 😢
He sounds really insecure. My last relationship was with a Christian, he went to church and I didn't. Neither of us saw that as a problem.
But receiving the silent treatment for two weeks, then being forced to apologise? If he can't accept you believing something different then him, then the problem is him.
People like that are not able to change, they can't love. People should have relationships with partners who truly love them, instead of with people who emotionally abuse others, and make you feel bad about yourself, and unsafe and unhappy, by violating your boundaries, and subjecting you to narcissistic manipulation.
@@davidestabrook5367 thank you ❤️🌹
I don't know if you've ever said that to anyone before but I wonder if your subconscious had picked up on something about him and it may have prompted your to ask that question to see how he would react.
His reaction makes him seem emotionally immature in my opinion.
You can have love for both, but in different ways I do and did. It’s a different type of relationship and love with a human versus God
Both are important and both can be good and it needs to be balanced to both
In some degree. Satan is the prince of this world. Very few have given their lives to Christ and been reborn again from above, so yes. People live by 'self', the very thing Satan fell to, thus the father of selfishness/narcissism/leftism. Read John 8:44 and that was within the 'church' of His day. Imagine what's it like outside in the secular world. Lots of white washed tombs where lies abound such as leftists care about people, love is love, follow your heart, there is no God, all religions lead to the same place, communism just hasn't been done right yet, freedom is bad, tyranny is good, more laws are good, etc...
...all my friends are narcissists.....my enitre family are narcissist...everybody in the entire world is a narcissist.... LOL!
Perhaps we all are a bit narcissists ?
Nope. Narcissisms is a genetic power program. Not everyone is programmed that way.
We all have narcissist traits to some extent, however most people have empathy, and care about other people's wellbeing.
Narcissists do a thing called DARVO, which stands for: deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.
They also do reactive abuse, where if you get upset when they violate your boundaries, they accuse you of abusing them.
If you're questioning if you're a narcissist, it makes me worry, that a narcissist is accusing you of abusing them.
@@davidestabrook5367 it’s so complex, for the past 3 month I have been questioning 24/7 perhaps I’m the bad guy . I grew up with cold mother she did some terrible things to me and all my life I tried to do everything to show I am worth her love . Now this man w even together for 6 years . Every time I said something or did something not as per his expectations he would threat me to “find someone better” I developed very unhealthy attachment . Basically we reached point he verbally abused be and threatened me again and I was in hospital I don’t know what was that … reactive abuse or what but I screenshot everything he said to me to his boss . Only later I found my self apologising and sending out emails to everybody … but it was too late . So perhaps I’m q narcissist .
I believe that narcissism exists on a spectrum and it seems like a very human thing.
For me, if someone has a pattern of being abusive to me and/or others around them, then they are likely malignantly narcissistic and I have to stay away from them.
At one of the spectrum is your everyday, garden variety narcissist who is probably acting subconsciously due to an abusive upbringing but they really do have your best interests at heart. At the other end of the spectrum is sociopathy and psychopathy which is over the line of malignant narcissism. This means they are not safe to be around.
This statement just shows that you have no idea what narcissism is. No offence.
id say everyone is on the SPECTRUM of narcissism but only certain areas of that spectrum are truly bad, many others are simply problematic and correctable