Saturday morning 25 September 2021. 1. Prepare a LITTLE bit. (Things you want to ask the woman) 2. Ask the RIGHT questions. (deeper meaning questions.) 3. Tell her about yourself (briefly, don't go on and on, bragging about yourself) 4. Find her GOLDEN nugget (something that lights them up when they talk about their golden nugget). 5. LISTEN to her, pay attention to what she is saying. 6. Silence is NORMAL. Not every single second of the date has to be filled with talking. 7. Be AUTHENTIC. Don't try to be someone else.
Silence is not normal. Granted, if you're with someone for your whole lives, there's gonna be moments of silence. But if there's any silence on a first date, it's a bad sign.
That's a great idea, because her relationship with her dad and how she talks about him will tell you a lot about how she might be. If she had a good father growing up; then you might be in good hands with her
"How are you?" "How are you?" "Good thanks." "Good thanks." "So where are you from?" "So where are you from?" "Are you copying me?" "Are you copying me?" "Stop it." "Stop it." Disclaimer: this is a terrible idea.
Honestly I started having great, non-awkward first dates when I stopped worrying about how it would go. Just show up like you're meeting a friend for the first time. Talk about stuff. Make jokes. Flirt. It's really easy. Best way to practice conversation is to talk to random strangers when you go out places. Strike up conversations with them. Better yet if you do this with attractive women. It's like having a first date before the first date. What worked for me is "What's the worst that can actually happen? Never going to see this person again anyway." Good luck out there!
Spot on! That was reason why I hated formal dating , abandoned it after a while. In the end hanging out informally with her works much more naturally and less awkward. Nothing fancy or fuzzy. It is possible to develop a true friendship this way and if it doesn’t work out u make have a new friend ! (By friends, I mean real friends who share things/interests etc.., not being friendzoned). Friendship is the foundation of all relationships, and unlike common believe it won’t kill romance but may even enhance it in future…
That is about the best advice ever. Practice conversation with people in general. It's like every other skill. Then talking to women shouldn't be radically different.
The focus of a conversation is completely different for men and women. Men in conversation are focused primarily on the transfer of information. Women are focused on the experience of the conversation or how it makes them feel.
Stop putting women on a pedestal just because they're women. Talk to them as human beings, talk to them as you would anybody else and learn that rejection is normal, maybe research how to deal with rejection in a social setting and then proceed with Courtney's 7 tips.
I think most women like to talk more than men. It's pretty easy to stay in a conversation by asking a few questions and just being a good listener. A lot of women are attracted to good listeners.
@@ethosterros9430 not sure if you're trying to be facetious here, or trying to make some clever point? Maybe you could expand? @WL DM's original comment though, is spot on. It's basic "How to Win Friends and Influence People" skills: showing interest in someone else is attractive, no matter who you are or who the other person is, male or female, young or old.
@@Rickywwx no your interest is attractive if the other person is attracted to you. If they are not your interest is irritating and unwelcome at best. These tips arent worth the paper they are printed on because they ignore the basic fundamentals of attraction. She doesnt care how good of a person you are, that matters after she is already attracted. That's why theres millions of good men watching this drivel hoping to find some magic secret they missing to solve why some criminal psychopath has women chasing after him while he can barely get a decent date with someones leftovers.
And if you're wondering how taking a cooking class can increase *initial* attraction, have a BBQ, invite your friends and tell them to bring their friends. Unless you completely destroy the meat, everyone, even those you haven't met before, will be appreciative not just for your cooking skills, but for inviting them and for your ability to throw a party. That's attractive. You don't even have to be the life of the party or enormously entertaining either.
1. prepare a little bit 2. ask the right Questions 3. tell her about yourself 4. find her golden nugget 5. listen 6. silence is normal 7. be authentic Thankyou Good Luck!
I normally start with a smile and say "hi, hows your day going?" Or i ask how she's feeling that day. It depends on her mood and how she answers back that determines how far our interaction will go and what questions I'll ask her next. Start with a lighthearted conversation starter just like you would with anyone else
@@cisium1184 you could say that but you want to have something that she can work with conversation wise especially if she finds you attractive. I'm sure every guy only just say hello. You want to get her talking more than you are.
Courtney i appreciate you giving us this conversation advice with women. I think women should be given the same advice. You can be the best talker; but if she doesn't add much to the conversation to keep it going; it's not worth it. One of the things i do when i first meet a woman is I'll ask how her day is going and maybe make a lighthearted compliment or funny joke about what's going on around us. Judging by her mood, what's going around us, and the way she responds to me; it lets me know how far our interaction will go. This can work on the date with your advice Courtney. Also if the woman ie talkative after you ask her deep/open ended questions about things she enjoys; that's a good thing. Anyways hope you have a great day if you see this 😊👍
A lot of that is done through body language. Small things like looking into her eyes while she speaks, touching her casually (and appropriately), and using voice tonality will carry you a long way in conveying attraction.
@@Tony78432 You didn't say you have a problem flirting. lol I'm sure there are tons of videos, but honestly I don't think there's a trick. You can't flirt unless you feel comfortable and confident... Have to do that first.
1. Prepare, think about what you're going to say ahead of time. 2. Ask the right questions, open-ended questions (what, why) 3. Talk about yourself a little, but not too much. 4. Find the golden nugget, so find what they are passionate about. 5. Silence is okay, see if they make conversation as well. 6. Be authentic (pretty cliche)
The FORD method works great. These are usually the things I talk about or ask about when talking to anyone I want to get to know better. 😎 1) Family 2) Occupation 3) Recreation 4) Dreams
The truth is if you spend all day on the internet or haven't done much with your life (often the case when you're in your early 20s and late teens and that is okay) you won't have anything to talk about. This is typical for those who have spent their high school playing video games not interacting socially. That social interaction and communication experience you didn't experience won't magically appear to help you. I was like that when I was 19, 20, 21 and that is okay. I'm an introvert, I didn't care for high school, high school friends, and I did not have the social skills to interact with people when I started work when I got out to meet people or trying to meet a girl. What will help you, what will give you insight into the world is to make something out of your life. I've never been out of work for more than 2 months in my entire life since I was 19 and I'm in my 30's now. Keep a job, work hard, have goals, challenge yourself and do the best you can, it will help you to be a more well-rounded person, you will be wiser, you will be smarter, you will have gained experience to talk about things in-depth, your level of thoughts will be deeper. All the struggles I had, all the challenges I took on in my 20s helped me become more of a well-rounded person, gave me the insight to talk about things in ways that no one else can. Although I do decently well on my own, I worked hard, I'm educated, I make good money, I'm in a respectable career with life experience. When I go out, I feel respected and acknowledged which is a big confidence booster.
Being the real you is so huge!!! One of my coworkers always tries to give me “advice” and he constantly tells me to make stuff up or stretch the truth to get their attention and impress them, and I find it so stupid. I’ve told him several times, “okay so what do you do when they discover the truth.?” He says “tell them I was willing to do anything it took to be able to talk to you.”🤢🤢🤢🤢 don’t be that guy fr!
I knew someone that would do this because he is an indirect person in general, but this only worked on women that already find him attractive and was willing to overlook his indirect and manipulative advancements. The last time that I saw him try it was when a lady lost her iPhone and he was endlessly and relentlessly searching for it to no avail. Needless to say, that creeped the girl out
Why it's often up to man to keep the conversation going ! Briefly , most of women that I interacted with are kinda of Alward in a sense that they don't help you to keep the conversation flowing naturally ! Whether by not being active in the conversation or saying non-rational things just for the sake of avoiding Alward silence ! In the other hand , I don't often experience this inconvenience while interacting with man ! Are most women these days insecure ? Do they hate man ? Do they have a low emotional intelligence or social skills ? Or is it just me who keep interacting with the wrong women ? I really want to find someone from the opposite sex who can share a natural and just be our selves without the fair of being judged or disliked by the other individual !
No!!! Don't put it on you. It's not you First, it should not feel like you are walking on eggs. Everything you mentioned here is dead on the money. What you go through, millions of men go through it. Reason, they have an empty tank. They have nothing!! 0 intelectual, emotional, kindness, good heart, altruistic, nice, goodness, conversation, etc.. All they have is a system to degrade you. To look down on you. But, say: I have a Yacht in the harbor, bring all your friends. And you will see the largest PIANO KEYBOARD right in her mouth you have ever seen!! So, add to their deficits, corrupt.
This is really helpful for me as a woman with social anxiety. In conversations I always worry if I'm being awkward or the other person is bothered by me. I have to work on not mind-reading and just make it a goal to get to know the person a little better through conversation. If we don't click then we don't click, that's fine
for a woman its more easy.. if u like the guy, touch him a bit.. if he likes u , and he is has not much to say, he will suddently become more confident and open after those touches..
My biggest tip for having fun and interesting conversations is to STOP THINKING and comment/ask about stuff you see around you. Just be present, in the moment, that means you observe what you see, hear and feel around you. -You guys are walking the park, see a animal > ask her whats her favourite animal is. -You on a date with someone and they are shy/distant, just say 'i can feel you are a bit shy' and they will ramble on why. -You guys see some kids playing > make a statement like 'bet you was a very shy/energetic kid' -You guys are together and see she's wearing a item > tell her you like it and she will tell you about it. -You guys walking the streets, see restaurants > ask her what her favourite cuisine is
@@arcturus815 yes because you are there physically and also try to be there mentally. If you keep thinking all the time then you are there physically but not mentally, thats called not being present. So stop thinking and just live in the moment
on first dates I was always worried about running out of things to say. I found going to the zoo was good for a first date cause well animals are always interesting and many are funny and they can be new topic of conversation as you walk through and there's always a favorite animal at the zoo that can be a topic for later too.
Hi Courtney! This really helped me, not just with women but regular social interaction. I am a high functioning autistic and this really helped me ALOT. Thank you. Good job and keep up the great work. 😊
From experience, it takes practice, especially if you're a natural shy person. It is nice, however, to listen to have a knowledgeable coach like Courtney!
Thank you Courtney. Truth be said, in my experience the best love is that early love. I missed it. When we're children, and we meet in school, we should hook up with our best friend (of the opposite sex). Those relationships will lead to a better humanity. When we're old and we haven't hooked up, it's too late.
Yep. Because you can dangle the carrot on a stick in the form of travelling together, and everyone knows that women love to travel. Just utter the word Maldives or whatever.
Instead of moping around, regardless of whatever it is, stop focusing on what u cant change and focus on what u can. Being sad isnt gonna get you a girlfriend any faster.
LISTENING is HUGE! And, the follow up question pertaining to what she just said is key. Another point that is big (from my perspective) is not interrupting. It goes with listening, but it can be a point all on it’s own. It’s a respect thing. Let her have “the mic,” allow her to speak her mind, and when she is done talking then ask the follow up question. Finding that “golden nugget” is a great point, and a great metaphor. Listening to people talk about what they are passionate about is so much more enjoyable. It’s their “fire” so let their passion burn. Then, if the fire begins to cool off, ask the follow up question to “stoke” the fire. Again, great points and things I will definitely keep in mind for future conversations. Thank you again 🙏
Good video Courtney, I learned this also by practice - a good conversation comes from natural flow and authenticity - be vulnerable sometimes - show humor
Courtney, great job with your 7 tips. These are great psychological and behavioral based content. You have this mastered, now if the men and women could apply them.
Excellent points. I know the order could be arbitrary. Here's my take. 1) Generally, women are more adept at talking and really love it. Listen, listen, listen. However, do speak and with good grammar. 2) Silence is golden. It's appropriate to look into each others eyes with you exhibiting a relaxed manner (no fidgeting or being distracted, she's your focus). Non verbal communication is paramount and can be more meaningful on several different planes. It's important for both to be comfortable with pauses of natural duration. I remember this simple exercise... Be the man my dog thinks I am.
4:00 thank you . Conversation is between two people . I went on a date once ,and after I learned everything about her family tree ,she didn't asked anything about me ,she said " say something" I couldn't hold my self and start laughing. I excused myself like I was going to the toilet,paid the bill , " nice to meet you " and I left.
If the girl is into you she'll sometimes try to fill the silence gap by just talking about anything, puts her in the nervous seat. Just speaking from experience. I am always willing to walk away from a bad first date, so silence doesn't really worry me, but I've never really had issues with silence popping up. I always have a slew of things I want to know about girls I'm interested in, I just don't overwhelm her with them and drop them during opportune moments, like asking what's the kinkiest sex position she's ever done just as the waiter arrives with our food.
Threads and links for better conversations: Threads are the different topics that you talk about (examples: favorite tv shows, favorite movies, favorite foods, favorite hobbies, etc.). When you find a thread that you have in common, talk about it! Links are how to can transition between threads. While you're talking about a particular thread, you can use links to talk about other threads that you might have in common too. Don't be afraid to talk about threads and link to threads that you don't have in common too! That's how you get to know people.
Whenever my first date comes, I will definitely be using a lot of this advice to help the date go smoother. By the way, I'm in my 30s and have never even been on a date, so having this advice will help me whenever that first one comes along.
If you think of a conversation as something that should flow rather than something that must happen, it helps. You can easily carry on a conversation with someone from hearing them speak one single sentence: "Oh my gosh, I love dogs!" - Do you have a dog? If so, how many? If not, why not since apparently you love them? What's your favorite kind of dog? Do you like cats too? What other animals do you love? What other THINGS do you love? I love dogs too. Let me tell you this story about a dog. When you learn to let yourself be caught into the natural flow of conversations (not just with women, but with everyone) by listening attentively and immersing yourself into what is coming out of a person's mouth, conversations become easy. Good luck bro, you'll be on that hot date in no time.
It's been a while since I've been on a date but I usually get to know a girl first before I ask her out so I understand how to foster rapport hopefully find a connection. First dates should be a chemistry test in my opinion. Difference between friends and romantic partner is chemistry I think.
I quit talking to women years ago, last girlfriend was like 17 an im now going on 28 in a month. not going to compete with thousands of other dudes via apps. Even in person its an even higher risk one wrong approach or wrong word can land you in trouble, women love to complain. give you the cold shoulder cause they can, other people see it an go okay lets avoid that guy. Not to be negative nelly but its very very toxic an bad for us guys out there, women 95% of the time dont make the first move either. best looking girl i found to go out on a date with was like a 5 max.
These are also solid tips for having a conversation with anyone, really! Great video, Courtney!! The direct byproduct of a good conversation is a connection! To add on to what Queen Courtney said about talking about yourself, I always open by repeating back to the person something they mentioned when they were talking about themselves and tie it into me. That way the person isnt left wondering what y'all have in common because you're spoonfeeding it to them and creating these "me too!" moments. You can remain mysterious if ya want by disclosing a little bit about yourself and then turning it around into a question to have a form of conversational catch!
I already tried most of what you said on the video, but what I find the best for me is to make her laugh with funny conversation and in the date itself follow what you said in the video
I think it's important to not come across as a "goofball" or a "silly guy." Women love guys who can make them laugh, but they also love guys who value themselves enough to take themselves seriously. Not disagreeing with you, I just think it's good to know the difference.
My suggestion is be yourself. Dont put any expectation, dont put her on pedestal. If she is the one destined to you, all things will fall into place naturally. Remember, do not chase. Keep your peace at all cost, half of earth population is women, you have billions of choices.
I've done all of this naturally with one woman in my life but I can't find it in myself to do this with someone I just met. mind u we can talk for hours without losing things to talk about but it's a whole different story with someone else lol I guess it's us being so comfortable and having similar interests since we have known each other since middle school (6 years and counting)
I also think it's because that woman makes you feel comfortable too. Which is so important because a woman you meet should be friendly, kind, and talkative. Once you make her feel comfortable by being a gentleman, asking things about that makes her excited to talk about (hobbies, career for example). She should be trying to make you feel the same way. It's always 2 way street man.
hmm how about tips for women holding conversations with men. ive notice some women i speak to are kind of dull because they dont do much of anything outside of working.
Get her talking about what she loves and decide if it's interesting to you. Then, talk about what you love and decide if she's interested enough in your life purpose to aid instead of hinder it.
i've always been awful with talking with women. yesterday pushed through my fear and went up to a girl at the bar yesterday (she was with 6 of her friends o.O), introduced myself, said hi, told her i thought she was cute, and then left. heart was racing but hell it felt good to actually just do that.
This can actually be a good strategy. Simple compliment, then leave. Watch Trav Que's videos where he asks women what their sign is, and then when they tell him, he says, "oh, I could never!" Some of them will start fighting for his attention afterward!
One thing I'm having to work on is not deflecting. What I mean is, is I can have an entire conversation with someone and they can never know me. I think a lot of that is a defense mechanism due to not feeling good enough
I have a great hobby of writing and a friend who has a channel helped me put my writing submission out there. So this girl I've met through email and in person (yes, she has her own channel as well) that writing submission was about myself and her as well. A few days ago, I finally showed her that video via email and she was in tears, very moved! She called me the other day and I brought up the fact that I've been meaning to share that with her for some time but I was caught up with moving. All the same, she loved it and I told her that writing is one of my best hobbies. Also loves the fact I'm incredibly funny, creative, adaptive, self aware, etc.
@@jleano609 oh yes, I'll be seeing her again. It had been weeks since we last contacted cause I was moving and she had been doing her thing. She was extremely happy to know that I live just a couple hours away from her
I consider myself a good conservationists. Mainly because I’m curious. I think the one thing to remember is to not get nervous. Converse with her the way you talk to other people. Don’t force the conversation.
People tell me that I'm so pleasant to talk to and I really think that it's because I genuinely enjoy listening to people talk about themselves. This is a lost art in conversation because people are so obsessed with "saying the right things" instead of taking a genuine interest in people.
I must be a unique human then because I love silence and quiet places! its the most peaceful and soul soothing thing in the world. The feeling of no stress, your thinking clearly and it very therapeutic. I guess that's because I'm an introvert. Do you think introverts should only date introverts due to personality traits?
Sincere tips. But maturity and having psychological acuity has a lot to do with it. If someone can't get see past their own nose or if everything is all about them. Then they will never reciprocate and create a flow of conversation. If she never asks about you on the date, or says "how about you, where did you grow up" or "And what do you do for a living?" It's like a tennis match and you get the conversation going by talking and reciprocating and keeping the flow. But some ladies just do not get it or better yet, they don't want it. Then she's way too immature and can't get out of her own head. And full grown adults do this too. They're just not feeling it and it's all about them. They plainly do not care or have any interest in knowing that information, and are totally unengaged in the conversation. You'll never get anywhere with anyone like this. It's one sided, and they're not about it. Game over, the end. These are the ones that will be on their phone texting and you're just a free dinner to them and their genuinely bored. It's very immature, disrespectful, no class and manners. They can't see that your time is valuable and you're trying build a connection of some kind. But if they're not into it then that's ok. But be kind and say it was nice meeting her when the date is over, and avoid seeing her again 100%. There is a lot of this sour immaturity out there these days. But reading "how to win friends and influence people" and "how to talk to anyone" are good books to read also on the topic. Thanks for your post. They are great tips when someone is willing to engage in a two sided conversation.
These are super good tips. Besides first impressions, this is the key to a successful date. The Golden nugget Courtney speaks up is actually getting a girl to talk about herself. It's the one subject women love to talk about. Just interject and add to her enthusiasm. The date will be much more successful if she is physically attracted to you. If she is, she will try to validate herself to you. If your not, your pretty much screwed. She's probably there because she had nothing to do or wanted a free meal. There is a good chance that if she wasn't attracted in some way. You wouldn't have gotten the date to begin with.
You say be yourself and authentic. But what if the real you is boring. Not funny very serious, you can't crack a joke no sense of humour, or banter Skills. What do you do then?
but not just girls but everyone in general now a days are boring and shallow. If you ask someone why they are youtuber, they will have no answer to that question or will answer in single word. Nobody has hobbies, interests, likes. This is the number one reason, I stopped talking to everyone. I already know that they have nothing going on in their life.
Some girls can communicate very well some of them don’t even if they like you and you hang out with them many times.it’s a turn off for me lowkey bc without communication we ain’t gonna go further.
Look up Vanessa Van Edwards videos for better conversation questions, which includes... "Have any big plans coming up?", "Working on anything exciting?", "Do have any personal 'passion projects'?" or "What's one thing that most people don't know about you?" expecting these questions will be turned back to you at some point, have answers for those questions. Also, avoid the 'default' question, "What do you do?" & avoid questions that can be easily answered with one word.
That's what I needed. Thanks for the tips. I have alot of silence between others but I didn't realize that it was okay. The more I look back on conversations, you are right. I did try to avoid those unpleasant silence that it just happened. Ima run with it and keep it in the back of my mind when talking. Thanks 👍
There's no worse feeling than constantly being eye balled by women and knowing their attraction to you stops there because you don't approach them and when they approach you, you shut down like an unplugged vacuum
Great video as always Courtney. So refreshing to see a young woman that is so mature in thought and elegant in her conduct. I just had a date last night where I practiced most of these, although the golden nugget idea is brilliant The best way to know if these are working is losing track of time, you talk and chat and feel like it's been 5 minutes when 3 hours have passed
too late... I messed up all my chances. I over prepared and then forgot all of my preparations and was generally disappointed. Tbh I was quite disappointed with her too. Also for some reason I am either very good with conversation or do a police interrogation or, lastly, just be angry/bored and quiet/guarded.
I just feel like you should just ask what you naturally want to know about the person. You should have go to questions sure, but it really should all feel natural. If you are confident within yourself you could ask any question and it would end up interesting because that's what you're interested in. If it doesn't flow like it usually does even when you're comfortable Then it may not be a good fit between you two.
When I answer questions from a girl I answer with small bits and pieces to make her dig deeper and deeper, this is how I let them get to know me without bragging. I basically try to talk about myself as little as possible and let her do most of the conversation work. If she does not ask about me then I know she is not interested and I can move on. I like to make them WORK to get to get to know me. When it comes to her, I found it is great to just have genuine curiosity about her, not just about her but about her work and her passions, ask interesting questions, I want to know where she is going in life, what is "next" for her no physical compliments ever, I will compliment energy if she has good energy or if she did a good job on a work task. It is all depends... I try to refrain from compliments until she compliments me on something... again never physical comments though.
Regarding finding that golden nugget is “What would you say is the one thing that anyone would never guess about you?” a great way to ask it? That what another dating coach “Marni” says to do. What do you think?
If you are lady, and you walk away from ANY conversation thinking "that was boring and bland", then you might just be a tad bit too judgmental. jus' sayin'
Courtney I need your help! There is a girl that I've meet at a grocery store. We have never spoken to eacher other and I don't know how I should approach her and what I can talk about. Some help please!
@@cristinap273 Nope. As someone who "drives" Biz/private aircraft [jet & turboprop] for the owners, wealth & looks does not draw (facilitate) any quality women (Mythbusters exponential). The stories I could (but won't out of my ethics & professionalism) tell.
@@samrapheal1828 I didn't say anything different. Millionaires get whatever they want. But most guys (middle class) shouldn't focus much on their exterior and blame it completely for their lack of success in women.
I honestly don't think it's that complicated. Just talk to her like a peer, because that's exactly what she is. Just be yourself. Talk to her like you talk to your buddies. It's just another human being...She isnt the freakin president of The United States or MICHAEL freakin JACKSON! 😑 Calm down and relax. Shoot, you have worth too! Men, stop subordinating yourselves.
Glad you mentioned greeklife because I did the same thing with my fraternity and it's just a good tactic to learn in general and has helped me enormously in life, business and relationships. Also sorority girls are crazy psycho stalkers. Beware, boys.
Courtney- I would really like it if you did a video about how tough it is finding someone new after losing someone you thought you'd possibly marry example - 2014 I knew when we started our relationship that yes my then girlfriend had a medical condition didn't scare me since I have my own but it is 1 way we connected but 5 yrs after my Mom passed of cancer I get a g/f who I REALLY though she'll be my wife since we stayed so focused on God-It really help build our relationship? In fact we really ended up in a disagree 1 afternoon-Took 2 hrs but we fixed things. I was so concerned when our pastor called said "Be praying for her but out of every woman I've ever dated or had a relationship w/she was the best keep hearing no every time I ask a woman out." What should I do to turn things around and at least her "Yes or Sure, I'd love to go on a date w/you?" My Mom was a teacher and I didn't like hearing "No, I have a boyfriend" I did appreciate what I heard after that "I had your Mom as my teacher in 4th grade-She's the best teacher I had!" I told her "She's the best Mom- Ever either!" That was cool taking a no and turning it into a positive" A lot of my friends say "You're stuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I find it quite rare that I can maintain long conversation with my girlfriend whom am I dating for more than two years... I must say that you're right about those Courtney.
Talking to women is SO EXAUSTING. Consider this,...99% of people are attached to Levels 1 thru 6 of the Spiral Dynamics scale,...all believing their little stepping stone of Samsara is special. A 2019 poll said, 74% of American women want their sons to be Alpha Males. In other words: An anonymous blogger put it this way: "It is clear that the human society we live in is so violent because women are still predominately breeding with aggressive, competitive alpha males and instilling the violent and competitive genes in the next generation. If women went against their neanderthal genetic and socially [media-ted] conditioning, and instead procreated with omega, sigma, zeta, or theta males, instead of rejecting, ridiculing, cooperative, high functioning males, eventually human society would become more tolerant, cooperative, peaceful, [and Spiritually orientated]. Women in terms of attraction to males don't seem to have mentally evolved beyond primates in that they are still predominately attracted to aggressively confident, high self-esteem, competitive alpha males. Women, in regard to the males they are attracted to and choose for procreation and sex, still exist in a base-energy 'hunter gatherer' society." "Less than one in a hundred people become fully self-actualized (Spiral Dynamics 7) because our society rewards motivation primarily based on esteem" Dr. Abraham Maslow. So,...what can a Zeta or Theta fellow do? "Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let him resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with the fool" - Dhammapada
Many excellent tips on how to improve/enhance conversation style, Courtney! I'm often impressed with how careful you are to phrase ideas without profanity and vulgarity, in a classy, decent style. However, please, please don't take the name of the Lord in vain as you did around 7:13 (silence in the elevator). Maybe you're not aware of how the Lord's name can be used in an empty manner, check Ten Commandments -- try to use His Name/title only when referring to Him, as you would with anyone's name or title.
In the name of the cheek slaying clapplations, “if she laughs at your jokes she shall moan to your strokes”.
Lmao. The funniest shit I have heard all day.
truuueee
Did you hear that on a Tutweezy cartoon??? 😂😂🤣
You have to somehow,
effortlessly make her laugh without being a funny clown. Use your intelligence and bitterness.
Indeed.
In French they say "Si elle rit, elle est à moitié dans ton lit.''
(''If she laughs, she is half-way to your bed.'')
Saturday morning 25 September 2021.
1. Prepare a LITTLE bit. (Things you want to ask the woman)
2. Ask the RIGHT questions. (deeper meaning questions.)
3. Tell her about yourself (briefly, don't go on and on, bragging about yourself)
4. Find her GOLDEN nugget (something that lights them up when they talk about their golden nugget).
5. LISTEN to her, pay attention to what she is saying.
6. Silence is NORMAL. Not every single second of the date has to be filled with talking.
7. Be AUTHENTIC. Don't try to be someone else.
M..V...P!
"However, it is important to offer up some information about yourself too."
@I am me • 25y ago I've stopped doing that. Take care.
Silence is not normal. Granted, if you're with someone for your whole lives, there's gonna be moments of silence.
But if there's any silence on a first date, it's a bad sign.
@@Coreisus Shut up lmao terrible advice
Important Question: "Do your parents live around here?"
Get her talking about her dad gents. Find out how her relationship is with him.
BOOM!! This will then tell you which direction to go!
That's a great idea, because her relationship with her dad and how she talks about him will tell you a lot about how she might be. If she had a good father growing up; then you might be in good hands with her
@@GEORGIOARCADE Yep I've noticed a lot of misandry in women stems from a bad relationship with her father
💯💯
alright russell brand
"How are you?" "How are you?" "Good thanks." "Good thanks." "So where are you from?" "So where are you from?" "Are you copying me?" "Are you copying me?" "Stop it." "Stop it."
Disclaimer: this is a terrible idea.
Old Smosh fan?
Lol!!
Oh rats, there goes my game!
Honestly I started having great, non-awkward first dates when I stopped worrying about how it would go. Just show up like you're meeting a friend for the first time. Talk about stuff. Make jokes. Flirt. It's really easy. Best way to practice conversation is to talk to random strangers when you go out places. Strike up conversations with them. Better yet if you do this with attractive women. It's like having a first date before the first date. What worked for me is "What's the worst that can actually happen? Never going to see this person again anyway."
Good luck out there!
thanks for tips
Never going to see her again anyway lol
Spot on! That was reason why I hated formal dating , abandoned it after a while. In the end hanging out informally with her works much more naturally and less awkward. Nothing fancy or fuzzy. It is possible to develop a true friendship this way and if it doesn’t work out u make have a new friend ! (By friends, I mean real friends who share things/interests etc.., not being friendzoned). Friendship is the foundation of all relationships, and unlike common believe it won’t kill romance but may even enhance it in future…
@@75Chopin That last part of your comment was a good reminder, Thank you 😁👍🏼...
That is about the best advice ever. Practice conversation with people in general. It's like every other skill. Then talking to women shouldn't be radically different.
The focus of a conversation is completely different for men and women. Men in conversation are focused primarily on the transfer of information. Women are focused on the experience of the conversation or how it makes them feel.
Exactly, should be treated completely differently when talking to them as their aim differs.
Really? Cuz I just like telling shitty jokes 😂✌️
Says who?
@@Macheako looks like you graduated from economic invincibility?
@@t5396 he's dead to me lol
Stop putting women on a pedestal just because they're women. Talk to them as human beings, talk to them as you would anybody else and learn that rejection is normal, maybe research how to deal with rejection in a social setting and then proceed with Courtney's 7 tips.
Ok Chief Little to no game..... we got it
the word practice gets annoying and enraging when it comes to this
Just talk to women the same way you would to a close friend. It's no difference.
@@Krrish85 well thats why there is an entire industry for guys to get better at talking to women
yea we make talking to women too difficult , i just talk to them like i would anyone else
To have a girl talk to me is one thing, having the girl I like want to talk to me is as rare as a 4 leaf clover... which I've never found ( ;
Just fake it. Learn from the ladies.
I have found one, actually.
Bad call, assuming that any woman is CAPABLE of having coherent ability(s)
to engage in conversation that's above a fourth grade level.
Seriously!
Go talk to women, don't expect them to just come to you. Attractive women don't have to approach guys.
just treat her like any normal chick
I think most women like to talk more than men. It's pretty easy to stay in a conversation by asking a few questions and just being a good listener. A lot of women are attracted to good listeners.
No a lot of women are attracted to men they think are hot.
@@ethosterros9430 not sure if you're trying to be facetious here, or trying to make some clever point? Maybe you could expand?
@WL DM's original comment though, is spot on. It's basic "How to Win Friends and Influence People" skills: showing interest in someone else is attractive, no matter who you are or who the other person is, male or female, young or old.
@@Rickywwx no your interest is attractive if the other person is attracted to you. If they are not your interest is irritating and unwelcome at best.
These tips arent worth the paper they are printed on because they ignore the basic fundamentals of attraction. She doesnt care how good of a person you are, that matters after she is already attracted. That's why theres millions of good men watching this drivel hoping to find some magic secret they missing to solve why some criminal psychopath has women chasing after him while he can barely get a decent date with someones leftovers.
@@ethosterros9430 "She doesn't care how good of a person you are, that matters after she is already attracted."
And if you're wondering how taking a cooking class can increase *initial* attraction, have a BBQ, invite your friends and tell them to bring their friends. Unless you completely destroy the meat, everyone, even those you haven't met before, will be appreciative not just for your cooking skills, but for inviting them and for your ability to throw a party. That's attractive. You don't even have to be the life of the party or enormously entertaining either.
1. prepare a little bit
2. ask the right Questions
3. tell her about yourself
4. find her golden nugget
5. listen
6. silence is normal
7. be authentic
Thankyou
Good Luck!
I'd sooner fund/start a company than to have a conversation w/any woman [potential relationship focus].
Seriously.
Thanks man
Aye bengali tu fir aagya
@@samrapheal1828 dude, just follow the 7 points and you'll do fine !
@@samrapheal1828 Same here, piss on it!
Ok guys, Courtney pulled a solid on 7 ways to maintain conversation with a woman.
All we need now is learn how to start one. 😂
😂🙌🏼
I normally start with a smile and say "hi, hows your day going?" Or i ask how she's feeling that day. It depends on her mood and how she answers back that determines how far our interaction will go and what questions I'll ask her next. Start with a lighthearted conversation starter just like you would with anyone else
How about "hello"?
@@cisium1184 you could say that but you want to have something that she can work with conversation wise especially if she finds you attractive. I'm sure every guy only just say hello. You want to get her talking more than you are.
Hey, hi, hello. Pick one 😄
Courtney i appreciate you giving us this conversation advice with women. I think women should be given the same advice. You can be the best talker; but if she doesn't add much to the conversation to keep it going; it's not worth it. One of the things i do when i first meet a woman is I'll ask how her day is going and maybe make a lighthearted compliment or funny joke about what's going on around us.
Judging by her mood, what's going around us, and the way she responds to me; it lets me know how far our interaction will go. This can work on the date with your advice Courtney. Also if the woman ie talkative after you ask her deep/open ended questions about things she enjoys; that's a good thing. Anyways hope you have a great day if you see this 😊👍
I don’t have a problem with conversation, I have a problem sparking romantic interest.
A lot of that is done through body language. Small things like looking into her eyes while she speaks, touching her casually (and appropriately), and using voice tonality will carry you a long way in conveying attraction.
Flirt.
@@johnrblur6476 if you’re homeless, just buy a house 😀
@@Tony78432 You didn't say you have a problem flirting. lol I'm sure there are tons of videos, but honestly I don't think there's a trick. You can't flirt unless you feel comfortable and confident... Have to do that first.
@@johnrblur6476 Has Courtney done a flirting video? If not, maybe its an idea for a future one!
1. Prepare, think about what you're going to say ahead of time.
2. Ask the right questions, open-ended questions (what, why)
3. Talk about yourself a little, but not too much.
4. Find the golden nugget, so find what they are passionate about.
5. Silence is okay, see if they make conversation as well.
6. Be authentic (pretty cliche)
The FORD method works great. These are usually the things I talk about or ask about when talking to anyone I want to get to know better. 😎
1) Family
2) Occupation
3) Recreation
4) Dreams
💯
The truth is if you spend all day on the internet or haven't done much with your life (often the case when you're in your early 20s and late teens and that is okay) you won't have anything to talk about. This is typical for those who have spent their high school playing video games not interacting socially. That social interaction and communication experience you didn't experience won't magically appear to help you. I was like that when I was 19, 20, 21 and that is okay. I'm an introvert, I didn't care for high school, high school friends, and I did not have the social skills to interact with people when I started work when I got out to meet people or trying to meet a girl. What will help you, what will give you insight into the world is to make something out of your life. I've never been out of work for more than 2 months in my entire life since I was 19 and I'm in my 30's now. Keep a job, work hard, have goals, challenge yourself and do the best you can, it will help you to be a more well-rounded person, you will be wiser, you will be smarter, you will have gained experience to talk about things in-depth, your level of thoughts will be deeper. All the struggles I had, all the challenges I took on in my 20s helped me become more of a well-rounded person, gave me the insight to talk about things in ways that no one else can. Although I do decently well on my own, I worked hard, I'm educated, I make good money, I'm in a respectable career with life experience. When I go out, I feel respected and acknowledged which is a big confidence booster.
Being the real you is so huge!!! One of my coworkers always tries to give me “advice” and he constantly tells me to make stuff up or stretch the truth to get their attention and impress them, and I find it so stupid. I’ve told him several times, “okay so what do you do when they discover the truth.?” He says “tell them I was willing to do anything it took to be able to talk to you.”🤢🤢🤢🤢 don’t be that guy fr!
I knew someone that would do this because he is an indirect person in general, but this only worked on women that already find him attractive and was willing to overlook his indirect and manipulative advancements. The last time that I saw him try it was when a lady lost her iPhone and he was endlessly and relentlessly searching for it to no avail. Needless to say, that creeped the girl out
Huge if you want to marry .... BTW do you really think they are honest ? Is rhetorical. ..
Why it's often up to man to keep the conversation going ! Briefly , most of women that I interacted with are kinda of Alward in a sense that they don't help you to keep the conversation flowing naturally ! Whether by not being active in the conversation or saying non-rational things just for the sake of avoiding Alward silence ! In the other hand , I don't often experience this inconvenience while interacting with man ! Are most women these days insecure ? Do they hate man ? Do they have a low emotional intelligence or social skills ? Or is it just me who keep interacting with the wrong women ? I really want to find someone from the opposite sex who can share a natural and just be our selves without the fair of being judged or disliked by the other individual !
No!!!
Don't put it on you. It's not you
First, it should not feel like you are walking on eggs. Everything you mentioned here is dead on the money. What you go through, millions of men go through it.
Reason, they have an empty tank. They have nothing!!
0 intelectual, emotional, kindness, good heart, altruistic, nice, goodness, conversation, etc.. All they have is a system to degrade you. To look down on you. But, say: I have a Yacht in the harbor, bring all your friends. And you will see the largest PIANO KEYBOARD right in her mouth you have ever seen!! So, add to their deficits, corrupt.
If a girl is interested in you she will ask you questions about you
The problem with me is, I'm a good listener. So, of course the conversations turn into an FBI investigation.
lol, I think alot of men fall into that trap.
Yep, I feel like I’m interviewing a suspect deep down. Especially when the ask barely any questions back
This is really helpful for me as a woman with social anxiety. In conversations I always worry if I'm being awkward or the other person is bothered by me. I have to work on not mind-reading and just make it a goal to get to know the person a little better through conversation. If we don't click then we don't click, that's fine
for a woman its more easy.. if u like the guy, touch him a bit.. if he likes u , and he is has not much to say, he will suddently become more confident and open after those touches..
It always feels good to be reminded that men aren't the only one with these thoughts, thanks
My biggest tip for having fun and interesting conversations is to STOP THINKING and comment/ask about stuff you see around you. Just be present, in the moment, that means you observe what you see, hear and feel around you.
-You guys are walking the park, see a animal > ask her whats her favourite animal is.
-You on a date with someone and they are shy/distant, just say 'i can feel you are a bit shy' and they will ramble on why.
-You guys see some kids playing > make a statement like 'bet you was a very shy/energetic kid'
-You guys are together and see she's wearing a item > tell her you like it and she will tell you about it.
-You guys walking the streets, see restaurants > ask her what her favourite cuisine is
💯👊🏾
You say "stop talking about things around you"
But your example doesn't show this?
Maybe my English is too bad to understand
@@arcturus815 no. Read again bro,
@@abdelkariml things we see around us is the same as be in the present?
@@arcturus815 yes because you are there physically and also try to be there mentally. If you keep thinking all the time then you are there physically but not mentally, thats called not being present. So stop thinking and just live in the moment
on first dates I was always worried about running out of things to say. I found going to the zoo was good for a first date cause well animals are always interesting and many are funny and they can be new topic of conversation as you walk through and there's always a favorite animal at the zoo that can be a topic for later too.
That's a great idea about going places that make having a conversation easier. You can use the venue as your conversation starters
Awesome idea 💡
Hi Courtney! This really helped me, not just with women but regular social interaction. I am a high functioning autistic and this really helped me ALOT. Thank you. Good job and keep up the great work. 😊
From experience, it takes practice, especially if you're a natural shy person. It is nice, however, to listen to have a knowledgeable coach like Courtney!
True
That is true. Unfortunately, I have not had many chances to practice.
Thank you Courtney.
Truth be said, in my experience the best love is that early love.
I missed it.
When we're children, and we meet in school, we should hook up with our best friend (of the opposite sex).
Those relationships will lead to a better humanity.
When we're old and we haven't hooked up, it's too late.
The best trick to keep a conversation going with a woman is to be rich and handsome
Yep. Because you can dangle the carrot on a stick in the form of travelling together, and everyone knows that women love to travel. Just utter the word Maldives or whatever.
Instead of moping around, regardless of whatever it is, stop focusing on what u cant change and focus on what u can. Being sad isnt gonna get you a girlfriend any faster.
"Rich" is a very relative word. If you make more than the girl does, you're rich. Anything after that is purely in your mind.
"the best trick to keep a conversation going with a GIRL is to be rich and handsome" - there, fixed it for you
Maybe if you have no personality or likeable qualities thatd be true.
LISTENING is HUGE! And, the follow up question pertaining to what she just said is key.
Another point that is big (from my perspective) is not interrupting. It goes with listening, but it can be a point all on it’s own. It’s a respect thing. Let her have “the mic,” allow her to speak her mind, and when she is done talking then ask the follow up question.
Finding that “golden nugget” is a great point, and a great metaphor. Listening to people talk about what they are passionate about is so much more enjoyable. It’s their “fire” so let their passion burn. Then, if the fire begins to cool off, ask the follow up question to “stoke” the fire.
Again, great points and things I will definitely keep in mind for future conversations.
Thank you again 🙏
talk to a women with confidence and stop caring too much, and stop laughing and goofing around all the damm time
Good video Courtney, I learned this also by practice
- a good conversation comes from natural flow and authenticity
- be vulnerable sometimes
- show humor
Courtney, great job with your 7 tips. These are great psychological and behavioral based content. You have this mastered, now if the men and women could apply them.
Excellent points. I know the order could be arbitrary. Here's my take. 1) Generally, women are more adept at talking and really love it. Listen, listen, listen. However, do speak and with good grammar. 2) Silence is golden. It's appropriate to look into each others eyes with you exhibiting a relaxed manner (no fidgeting or being distracted, she's your focus). Non verbal communication is paramount and can be more meaningful on several different planes. It's important for both to be comfortable with pauses of natural duration. I remember this simple exercise... Be the man my dog thinks I am.
Start the conversation as if the person is like a friend. It will help you feel comfortable and will inturn you will feel confident.
Authenticity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
4:00 thank you . Conversation is between two people . I went on a date once ,and after I learned everything about her family tree ,she didn't asked anything about me ,she said " say something"
I couldn't hold my self and start laughing.
I excused myself like I was going to the toilet,paid the bill , " nice to meet you " and I left.
If the girl is into you she'll sometimes try to fill the silence gap by just talking about anything, puts her in the nervous seat. Just speaking from experience. I am always willing to walk away from a bad first date, so silence doesn't really worry me, but I've never really had issues with silence popping up. I always have a slew of things I want to know about girls I'm interested in, I just don't overwhelm her with them and drop them during opportune moments, like asking what's the kinkiest sex position she's ever done just as the waiter arrives with our food.
That's fine hilarious!
Threads and links for better conversations:
Threads are the different topics that you talk about (examples: favorite tv shows, favorite movies, favorite foods, favorite hobbies, etc.). When you find a thread that you have in common, talk about it!
Links are how to can transition between threads. While you're talking about a particular thread, you can use links to talk about other threads that you might have in common too.
Don't be afraid to talk about threads and link to threads that you don't have in common too! That's how you get to know people.
Whenever my first date comes, I will definitely be using a lot of this advice to help the date go smoother. By the way, I'm in my 30s and have never even been on a date, so having this advice will help me whenever that first one comes along.
If you think of a conversation as something that should flow rather than something that must happen, it helps. You can easily carry on a conversation with someone from hearing them speak one single sentence:
"Oh my gosh, I love dogs!" - Do you have a dog? If so, how many? If not, why not since apparently you love them? What's your favorite kind of dog? Do you like cats too? What other animals do you love? What other THINGS do you love? I love dogs too. Let me tell you this story about a dog.
When you learn to let yourself be caught into the natural flow of conversations (not just with women, but with everyone) by listening attentively and immersing yourself into what is coming out of a person's mouth, conversations become easy.
Good luck bro, you'll be on that hot date in no time.
Thank you for your inssite. You are very intelligent. You have helped me so much.
It's been a while since I've been on a date but I usually get to know a girl first before I ask her out so I understand how to foster rapport hopefully find a connection. First dates should be a chemistry test in my opinion. Difference between friends and romantic partner is chemistry I think.
No difference between friends and romantic partners is physical attraction!
I quit talking to women years ago, last girlfriend was like 17 an im now going on 28 in a month. not going to compete with thousands of other dudes via apps. Even in person its an even higher risk one wrong approach or wrong word can land you in trouble, women love to complain. give you the cold shoulder cause they can, other people see it an go okay lets avoid that guy. Not to be negative nelly but its very very toxic an bad for us guys out there, women 95% of the time dont make the first move either. best looking girl i found to go out on a date with was like a 5 max.
@Dylan George I know what you mean i see the odd hot escorts now and again 😂
These are also solid tips for having a conversation with anyone, really! Great video, Courtney!!
The direct byproduct of a good conversation is a connection! To add on to what Queen Courtney said about talking about yourself, I always open by repeating back to the person something they mentioned when they were talking about themselves and tie it into me. That way the person isnt left wondering what y'all have in common because you're spoonfeeding it to them and creating these "me too!" moments. You can remain mysterious if ya want by disclosing a little bit about yourself and then turning it around into a question to have a form of conversational catch!
I already tried most of what you said on the video, but what I find the best for me is to make her laugh with funny conversation and in the date itself follow what you said in the video
I think it's important to not come across as a "goofball" or a "silly guy." Women love guys who can make them laugh, but they also love guys who value themselves enough to take themselves seriously. Not disagreeing with you, I just think it's good to know the difference.
My suggestion is be yourself. Dont put any expectation, dont put her on pedestal. If she is the one destined to you, all things will fall into place naturally. Remember, do not chase. Keep your peace at all cost, half of earth population is women, you have billions of choices.
I've done all of this naturally with one woman in my life but I can't find it in myself to do this with someone I just met. mind u we can talk for hours without losing things to talk about but it's a whole different story with someone else lol I guess it's us being so comfortable and having similar interests since we have known each other since middle school (6 years and counting)
I also think it's because that woman makes you feel comfortable too. Which is so important because a woman you meet should be friendly, kind, and talkative. Once you make her feel comfortable by being a gentleman, asking things about that makes her excited to talk about (hobbies, career for example). She should be trying to make you feel the same way. It's always 2 way street man.
hmm how about tips for women holding conversations with men. ive notice some women i speak to are kind of dull because they dont do much of anything outside of working.
Get her talking about what she loves and decide if it's interesting to you. Then, talk about what you love and decide if she's interested enough in your life purpose to aid instead of hinder it.
It's always 1 sided for me.
I find similar. Not enough good women visible online or out in the world. Gotta keep are eyes open for the real women of value
Then you aren't missing anything.
i've always been awful with talking with women. yesterday pushed through my fear and went up to a girl at the bar yesterday (she was with 6 of her friends o.O), introduced myself, said hi, told her i thought she was cute, and then left. heart was racing but hell it felt good to actually just do that.
Imagine a lion being scared of a mouse
This can actually be a good strategy. Simple compliment, then leave. Watch Trav Que's videos where he asks women what their sign is, and then when they tell him, he says, "oh, I could never!" Some of them will start fighting for his attention afterward!
@@BigTunaXXX that dude ain’t no lion he is a tiger ant🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@BigTunaXXXgood one brah
Yes but thats technically also simping, to just compliment and not actually talk about something…
This 7 tips are awesome Courtney Ryan, thanks !!
We are going to put them in place in our conversation with women !!
One thing I'm having to work on is not deflecting. What I mean is, is I can have an entire conversation with someone and they can never know me. I think a lot of that is a defense mechanism due to not feeling good enough
I have a great hobby of writing and a friend who has a channel helped me put my writing submission out there. So this girl I've met through email and in person (yes, she has her own channel as well) that writing submission was about myself and her as well. A few days ago, I finally showed her that video via email and she was in tears, very moved!
She called me the other day and I brought up the fact that I've been meaning to share that with her for some time but I was caught up with moving. All the same, she loved it and I told her that writing is one of my best hobbies.
Also loves the fact I'm incredibly funny, creative, adaptive, self aware, etc.
And...............?
@@jleano609 ???
@@tommygunn6901 and……….are you going to be seeing this girl again? It’s a great story and all but where are you with her?
@@jleano609 oh yes, I'll be seeing her again. It had been weeks since we last contacted cause I was moving and she had been doing her thing. She was extremely happy to know that I live just a couple hours away from her
@@tommygunn6901 that’s a long way for regular dating. I think you are going to find that a struggle, sorry to say.
How to talk to girls?
Advice: Read 100 books, watch videos, exercise, haircut.
Her: Ughh guys are boring I don’t know what I want
Become a multi-millionaire early in life, very little conversation needed!
I consider myself a good conservationists. Mainly because I’m curious. I think the one thing to remember is to not get nervous. Converse with her the way you talk to other people. Don’t force the conversation.
People tell me that I'm so pleasant to talk to and I really think that it's because I genuinely enjoy listening to people talk about themselves. This is a lost art in conversation because people are so obsessed with "saying the right things" instead of taking a genuine interest in people.
Hey Courtney what made you want to be a youtuber ? ;)
I must be a unique human then because I love silence and quiet places! its the most peaceful and soul soothing thing in the world. The feeling of no stress, your thinking clearly and it very therapeutic. I guess that's because I'm an introvert. Do you think introverts should only date introverts due to personality traits?
Sincere tips. But maturity and having psychological acuity has a lot to do with it. If someone can't get see past their own nose or if everything is all about them. Then they will never reciprocate and create a flow of conversation. If she never asks about you on the date, or says "how about you, where did you grow up" or "And what do you do for a living?" It's like a tennis match and you get the conversation going by talking and reciprocating and keeping the flow. But some ladies just do not get it or better yet, they don't want it. Then she's way too immature and can't get out of her own head. And full grown adults do this too. They're just not feeling it and it's all about them. They plainly do not care or have any interest in knowing that information, and are totally unengaged in the conversation. You'll never get anywhere with anyone like this. It's one sided, and they're not about it. Game over, the end. These are the ones that will be on their phone texting and you're just a free dinner to them and their genuinely bored. It's very immature, disrespectful, no class and manners. They can't see that your time is valuable and you're trying build a connection of some kind. But if they're not into it then that's ok. But be kind and say it was nice meeting her when the date is over, and avoid seeing her again 100%. There is a lot of this sour immaturity out there these days. But reading "how to win friends and influence people" and "how to talk to anyone" are good books to read also on the topic. Thanks for your post. They are great tips when someone is willing to engage in a two sided conversation.
These are super good tips. Besides first impressions, this is the key to a successful date. The Golden nugget Courtney speaks up is actually getting a girl to talk about herself. It's the one subject women love to talk about. Just interject and add to her enthusiasm. The date will be much more successful if she is physically attracted to you. If she is, she will try to validate herself to you. If your not, your pretty much screwed. She's probably there because she had nothing to do or wanted a free meal. There is a good chance that if she wasn't attracted in some way. You wouldn't have gotten the date to begin with.
Just talk about yourself. Show her who is the bigger narcissist in the room. Especially if she is semi Instagram famous.
Keep one upping her. Make sure she knows she's dealing with a real P.I.M.P. /joke
@@suddenshift1 you just hold a mirror in front of her, to make her feel that dealing with her narcissistic traits is horrible.
You say be yourself and authentic. But what if the real you is boring. Not funny very serious, you can't crack a joke no sense of humour, or banter Skills. What do you do then?
but not just girls but everyone in general now a days are boring and shallow. If you ask someone why they are youtuber, they will have no answer to that question or will answer in single word. Nobody has hobbies, interests, likes. This is the number one reason, I stopped talking to everyone. I already know that they have nothing going on in their life.
Some girls can communicate very well some of them don’t even if they like you and you hang out with them many times.it’s a turn off for me lowkey bc without communication we ain’t gonna go further.
Never listen to girls on how to get girls. If you are trying to catch fish you don’t ask other fish. You ask the fishermen.
Look up Vanessa Van Edwards videos for better conversation questions, which includes... "Have any big plans coming up?", "Working on anything exciting?", "Do have any personal 'passion projects'?" or "What's one thing that most people don't know about you?" expecting these questions will be turned back to you at some point, have answers for those questions. Also, avoid the 'default' question, "What do you do?" & avoid questions that can be easily answered with one word.
💯👊🏾
If you feel a strong need to fill every moment of silence in a conversation…you just might be a New Yorker.
That's what I needed. Thanks for the tips. I have alot of silence between others but I didn't realize that it was okay. The more I look back on conversations, you are right. I did try to avoid those unpleasant silence that it just happened. Ima run with it and keep it in the back of my mind when talking. Thanks 👍
Can you teach us how to approach women? Because approaching is the hardest part for me
@courtney while you uploading video, mark video number
There's no worse feeling than constantly being eye balled by women and knowing their attraction to you stops there because you don't approach them and when they approach you, you shut down like an unplugged vacuum
yeah unfortunately dont have that problem
Some advice I got was keep it light,keep it funny,no heavy subjects,no negatives.Stay clear of sex,religion,and politics.
How much does a polar bear weigh?
Idk tell us
Enough to break the ice everytime
@@alexandruvintila8697 hahahahaha worth the wait
Bruh 😂😂
I have one question? What does it mean when a female or male want to know all about you.
Great video as always Courtney. So refreshing to see a young woman that is so mature in thought and elegant in her conduct.
I just had a date last night where I practiced most of these, although the golden nugget idea is brilliant
The best way to know if these are working is losing track of time, you talk and chat and feel like it's been 5 minutes when 3 hours have passed
too late... I messed up all my chances. I over prepared and then forgot all of my preparations and was generally disappointed. Tbh I was quite disappointed with her too. Also for some reason I am either very good with conversation or do a police interrogation or, lastly, just be angry/bored and quiet/guarded.
Your channel is a god-send. The topics, the suggestions, the delivery, everything. Thank you sincerely.
You’re on 🔥 Courtney! Another great video :)
Thank you, my friend!!
Regarding silence what do I do? I fear that the girl is starting to think I am getting boring?
Ethier bored or awkward im afraid
I just feel like you should just ask what you naturally want to know about the person. You should have go to questions sure, but it really should all feel natural. If you are confident within yourself you could ask any question and it would end up interesting because that's what you're interested in. If it doesn't flow like it usually does even when you're comfortable Then it may not be a good fit between you two.
I love the golden nugget tip! It’s so nice to see their inner-self light up.
When I answer questions from a girl I answer with small bits and pieces to make her dig deeper and deeper, this is how I let them get to know me without bragging. I basically try to talk about myself as little as possible and let her do most of the conversation work. If she does not ask about me then I know she is not interested and I can move on. I like to make them WORK to get to get to know me. When it comes to her, I found it is great to just have genuine curiosity about her, not just about her but about her work and her passions, ask interesting questions, I want to know where she is going in life, what is "next" for her no physical compliments ever, I will compliment energy if she has good energy or if she did a good job on a work task. It is all depends... I try to refrain from compliments until she compliments me on something... again never physical comments though.
I think I've got it. Just talk to yourself as much as you can. Wear wireless earbuds so people don't think you're weird.
DO GUYS GET TURNED ON BY YOUR CHILDS VOICE ?.
Regarding finding that golden nugget is “What would you say is the one thing that anyone would never guess about you?” a great way to ask it? That what another dating coach “Marni” says to do. What do you think?
If you are lady, and you walk away from ANY conversation thinking "that was boring and bland", then you might just be a tad bit too judgmental.
jus' sayin'
People worry so much about talking to the opposite sex when they can't even talk to the same sex
That is so funny
Courtney I need your help!
There is a girl that I've meet at a grocery store. We have never spoken to eacher other and I don't know how I should approach her and what I can talk about. Some help please!
"Once you put your lust aside, you'll realize that these women have zero conversation skills."
- Better Bachelor
Unfortunately this happens A LOT!
All these guys commenting you just need money and be attractive need this advice first before doing anything.
@@cristinap273 Nope. As someone who "drives" Biz/private aircraft [jet & turboprop] for the owners, wealth & looks does not draw (facilitate) any quality women (Mythbusters exponential).
The stories I could (but won't out of my ethics & professionalism) tell.
@@samrapheal1828 keyword "quality". I completely agree with that keyword
@@samrapheal1828 I didn't say anything different. Millionaires get whatever they want. But most guys (middle class) shouldn't focus much on their exterior and blame it completely for their lack of success in women.
Pov. A date with Courtney
listening is vital. Great video Courtney
Courtney, you're just lovely!!
I honestly don't think it's that complicated. Just talk to her like a peer, because that's exactly what she is. Just be yourself. Talk to her like you talk to your buddies. It's just another human being...She isnt the freakin president of The United States or MICHAEL freakin JACKSON! 😑 Calm down and relax. Shoot, you have worth too! Men, stop subordinating yourselves.
Glad you mentioned greeklife because I did the same thing with my fraternity and it's just a good tactic to learn in general and has helped me enormously in life, business and relationships. Also sorority girls are crazy psycho stalkers. Beware, boys.
Great tips. I'll suggest you add some examples next time, cause we need more vibes
Why would I worry about Keeping A Conversation Going With a Women? #MGTOW enjoying life without a B#tch
I’m going to find the golden bean
Courtney- I would really like it if you did a video about how tough it is finding someone new after losing someone you thought you'd possibly marry example - 2014 I knew when we started our relationship that yes my then girlfriend had a medical condition didn't scare me since I have my own but it is 1 way we connected but 5 yrs after my Mom passed of cancer I get a g/f who I REALLY though she'll be my wife since we stayed so focused on God-It really help build our relationship? In fact we really ended up in a disagree 1 afternoon-Took 2 hrs but we fixed things. I was so concerned when our pastor called said "Be praying for her but out of every woman I've ever dated or had a relationship w/she was the best keep hearing no every time I ask a woman out." What should I do to turn things around and at least her "Yes or Sure, I'd love to go on a date w/you?" My Mom was a teacher and I didn't like hearing "No, I have a boyfriend" I did appreciate what I heard after that "I had your Mom as my teacher in 4th grade-She's the best teacher I had!" I told her "She's the best Mom- Ever either!" That was cool taking a no and turning it into a positive" A lot of my friends say "You're stuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Or the Neanderthal War Bride Method
> Clubs Woman
> Brings to Cave
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da Life Goes On....
I find it quite rare that I can maintain long conversation with my girlfriend whom am I dating for more than two years... I must say that you're right about those Courtney.
Talking to women is SO EXAUSTING. Consider this,...99% of people are attached to Levels 1 thru 6 of the Spiral Dynamics scale,...all believing their little stepping stone of Samsara is special.
A 2019 poll said, 74% of American women want their sons to be Alpha Males. In other words:
An anonymous blogger put it this way: "It is clear that the human society we live in is so violent because women are still predominately breeding with aggressive, competitive alpha males and instilling the violent and competitive genes in the next generation. If women went against their neanderthal genetic and socially [media-ted] conditioning, and instead procreated with omega, sigma, zeta, or theta males, instead of rejecting, ridiculing, cooperative, high functioning males, eventually human society would become more tolerant, cooperative, peaceful, [and Spiritually orientated].
Women in terms of attraction to males don't seem to have mentally evolved beyond primates in that they are still predominately attracted to aggressively confident, high self-esteem, competitive alpha males. Women, in regard to the males they are attracted to and choose for procreation and sex, still exist in a base-energy 'hunter gatherer' society."
"Less than one in a hundred people become fully self-actualized (Spiral Dynamics 7) because our society rewards motivation primarily based on esteem" Dr. Abraham Maslow.
So,...what can a Zeta or Theta fellow do?
"Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let him resolutely pursue a solitary course; there is no fellowship with the fool" - Dhammapada
Many excellent tips on how to improve/enhance conversation style, Courtney! I'm often impressed with how careful you are to phrase ideas without profanity and vulgarity, in a classy, decent style. However, please, please don't take the name of the Lord in vain as you did around 7:13 (silence in the elevator). Maybe you're not aware of how the Lord's name can be used in an empty manner, check Ten Commandments -- try to use His Name/title only when referring to Him, as you would with anyone's name or title.