All of these things are the signs of an emotionally immature woman, someone men should avoid. They're usually unsure of what they want in a relationship and in life overall, haven't healed from past trauma, and are doing this because while they enjoy the attention they get from a guy they don't have any genuine interest in the guy. Most of the time these women are afraid to get close to a guy because they're afraid they might either hurt him, get hurt themselves, or are just too immature to commit to a relationship.
🔸These could be all traits in one people or 6-7 different people though. As in 🔹1.emotionally immature, 🔹2.haven't healed from past trauma, 🔹3.likes the attention, 🔹4.afraid of getting hurt/ 🔹5.hurt other person, 🔹6.both afraid of hurting/getting hurt, 🔹7.too immature to commit to a relationship. 🔸𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 🔹& In that case depending on what traits are there for what reason can be worked out while some just can't, till they change & it isn't always in time.
I got mixed signals from girls in the past and I even got ghosted at times. What I used to do about situations like this: - take it personally - overreact or pick fights - curse or threaten What I do now in situations like this: 1. Take it lightly 2. Let them go 3. Stick with the people that like and accept me
Wow just reading at what you did amazed me, I feel good that instead of doing some childish thing like that I directly unfollowed and removed her from my follow list silently and she noticed within an hour lol. Then she kept a note saying “let that shit hurt. Then let that shit go”
Whatever guy needs to hear this, this is for you. Us average everyday girls need you. We need your effort, your kindness, your goofy humor, your chivalry and you fumbling through your learning just like us. Don't give up. Everything we both see on socials isn't what we see in person. Let's not be fooled anymore. The non Instagram models want and need you. The teachers, the dental techs, the customer service reps, the nurses and regular working class cuties next door. We didn't go anywhere! We just aren't loud on social media. We are volunteering at animal shelters and liking puppy videos because some men are scary. We need our fair, silly, imperfect gentlemen!!!!❤
@@joeplem5329 Yes, because we are drawn to one out of 100 guys we meet in person too? Turning down people you aren't attracted to is normal. Do you automatically like someone just because they like you Joe? A girl may spot one guy in a room full of people. The odds have always been long that doesn't mean give up.
My solution to mixed signals, hot and cold, trying to make me jealous, is to end the relationship as these are all signs of a toxic person. As Courtney says communication is key to a successful relationship.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing I have no doubt that some of the people who behave this way may have some issues But other people simply aren’t in a hurry and aren’t trying to jump into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. They’re looking for the right relationship An easy way to deal with this is to simply teach yourself to be outcome independent. When you are just beginning to date and get to know someone…You’re happy if they are available and have time and want to make time for you. And you’re just as happy if sometimes they pull back, because your life is good regardless Match and mirror their behavior. If they’re coming on strong… reciprocate and go with it. If they pull back a little… you do the same. It’s no big deal. Over time you’ll figure out what you’re actually dealing with, and it’s not always bad
If she wants to boost her self-esteem, chasing her isn't going to help, rewarding her good behavior will help. Giving her indirect phrase for good behavior and ignoring as well as walking away from bad behavior will also help
I'm mildly autistic, so all communications from women are difficult to interpret for me. I do have a goal to be a husband and a father in the next 5 years. This is very helpful in guiding me through mixed signals.
first hand experience is the best way to understand ppl. the second best is trying to put ourselves in others' shoes. if you were a woman, born and raised in that context what would you honestly think and do? if you understand what, how and why you will get ppl.
Just request a 'yes or no' answer. It's not just indecisive or malicious females giving other people the runaround. A ton of people tend to have diarrhea of the mouth when all we want is a sentence. Personally I've long since disregarded relations but channels like this help by keeping me up to date on the misery the ladies are giving guys. Other communities I casually follow are involved with rich people wanting to moderate what we can/can't do and when told to give a straight answer, they too blab on about nothing or stutter like Porky Pig. Addendum: Good luck on your endeavors. We're living in clown world now, whether we like it or not.
I struggled with social awkwardness and fell into many of these traps. Believe me, the realization of what these actually meant I got really angry at this cuz why play these useless games? But yea I no longer fuck with women who send mixed signals srs when no other reasonable factors are considered.
4 mixed signals: 0:48 Once you stop, she wants you 2:46 She’s playing hard to get 4:42 She talks about other guys to you 5:52 Her words and actions do not match 5 categories these mixed signals could fall into: 7:19 She's unsure about her feelings 8:06 She's playing hard to get 8:31 She struggles with communication 9:09 She's flat out using you 9:27 She doesn't like you but she's trying to be nice
If a girl plays hard to get she's likely hard to want, for the long term. We are supposed to be adults by now and that means we don't have time for games. If they play games, either School Them at it, or walk away
It's like what people say, you need to be dating a high value woman which you probably won't see very often in most places if you're still improving yourself early on. Probably the easiest and mature types are probably single moms, but even that's a handful if you're not prepared for all the kids that come with relationships. That's kinda why dating someone early on can actually be a lot stressful because she probably hasn't even matured enough to handle relationships properly.
@@trnovsky33 Someone who's mature enough in life to make future plans and think long term, not the lovey dovey hookup and move to the next type of person. I want someone who values themselves just how I do. You won't find that starting out your career journey, but there's always an exception.
@@CourtneyRyan You know what would help a lot of guys...like me? Have some former strippers on the show to give away all the secrets strippers use on guys. This might help. Thanks for being so wonderful.
Dating is hard. Let’s make it more complicated by not being straightforward and not saying exactly what we want, while complaining people aren’t clear enough or don’t know what they want
@@MikeyP109 Agree. I've said this more times than I can count. I've had woman say it to me also. My response to, "Dating is hard" is always, "Dating is easy. Finding the right person to continue to date is what's hard".
@@rascal211 I'm in my 40s and I met a lot of good women that I was into. They weren't quite the one, but they were good women. And now I have an amazing one I'll have a future with. It's not "almost impossible" except in your mind and that is the problem. If you keep believing it's impossible, then it will be. Women can smell that attitude and run like hell. It's in your words, your demeanor, your attitude, whether you think it is or not. I'm a no-nonsense redneck, never lie, take no shit, and require an old fashioned, nurturing woman. And I found them. The first step is to eliminate the liberals from your options.
I think as men deep down we know if a woman is interested or not despite the mixed signals. Whether it be delusion on our part or a failure to accept reality we inevitably make it worse.
IDK about that. I did the let’s date tango with a women when I was younger. All outward signs from her were I want to date you, but when it came to actually going on a date, she always put up a barrier. It was truly mixed signals. Deep down inside, I didn’t know what to think. I guess she found me attractive, but deep down inside herself she had doubts about dating me, but couldn’t just tell me that. I ended up meeting another woman not long after that and am still with her 25 years later.
I’ve been married for 20 years and raised three children with my wife. Everything went so easy with my wife. She didn’t put me through any bullshit. My advice: don’t waste time on difficult women. Easier said than done, because as men we do tend to fall in love and fixate on one particular woman. Those mind games Courtney describes work on us.
My first wife had borderline personality disorder. She was anything but boring. I had to sleep with one eye open. I’ll take boring any day over that. I can come up with plenty of ways to entertain myself that don’t involve having the police knocking on my door.
Number #1 and #2 are the ones I have the most experience with. It usually goes, they'll play hard to get and I move on. After a few weeks to a month and some change, they'll hit me to "check in". When I first started dating this would reel me right back in. Now I just tell them I moved on which prompts the myriad excuses they'd come up with. Just recently I matched with a girl on a dating app talking about I "ghosted" her... No, I unmatched because the girl would take weeks to get back to me. To the women, a man's time is just as valuable as yours. To the men, move on from people who don't respect your time. You'll save yourself a lot of headaches.
Hah. I never tolerated that shit. I said good luck to a few women who took just a couple days to continue the conversation and they made some excuse about being too busy. I flat out told them, "Bullshit. No one is too busy to take 20 seconds to tell a person they may be interested in they'll be busy for a few days and they'll get back to you soon. The 2 more likely options are that either I'm not your first choice and you're waiting to see how it pans out with the other guy or you're simply a selfish person with no manners or common courtesy. None of which are scenarios I tolerate." Usually I was just unmatched/deleted and occasionally one would try to defend themselves, to which I'd reply, "Then don't take days to continue conversation with someone you've established communication with....with the next guy." Every woman who made it to dating messaged/texted daily or had the courtesy to say they weren't available.
Base line: if you get mixed signals, get out. As a pretty inexperienced guy, if I get mixed signals I just assume she doesn't like me. Simple and I know not to invest my energy & emotions. If a girl likes me she can approach first but I don't bother making the first move (I enjoy being single and don't need to look for a partner so I won't make a move. And I'll only accept if I see that a relationship with someone is better than my blissful singleness). Lastly, if she's flirting with other guys as well... She belongs to tha streets.
when a women plays hard to get or give me mixed signals, I move on and forever ignore them. people been playing games my entire life especially women in general and i have 0 tolerance for that crap at 46 years old. they wanted to equal to men, pull your weight around and meet us half way if not go date a narcissist, maybe than they might realized on what they missed out on REAL GOOD, GENUINE MEN. NO MEN should waste their time on waste of space like women who plays games. Thank you Courtney for your amazing work... of all dating coaches on RUclips, In my opinion, you are the best, the most honest and logical. I followed some advises from others and they were wrong. I listen to you and things makes sense. We need more women like you on this earth.
*One confusing mixed signal is when she acts interested one day and distant the next. It can feel like you're playing a guessing game, but it often means she’s uncertain or testing the waters. The key is to be patient, communicate openly, and not overanalyze her behavior.*
Incredible timing for this video. Over the past few weeks I have been talking to this woman, trying to set up a date. I usually vet them over a phone call first. She seemed okay, but had low energy on the call, and so I offered suggestions on what to do, she turned most of them down and then I told her to recommend something she likes. She didn't respond for 5 days, and today we were supposed to meet and she's like lets meet on later in the week, and I just told her "you're clearly uninterested, so I will pass". I blocked her number afterwards. Courtney is bang on, people make time for whats important to them.
I dealt with a girl who would always agree to go out and do something, but would always cancel last minute, often without even messaging me. It would put me through a roller coaster of emotions because I would legitimately plan for these events (including getting my car fixed for a road trip), only to get ghosted. Very painful to go through, so I talked to her in person saying "we don't have to date, we can just be friends, or if you really want me to I can just walk away completely--no pressure." She said she DID want to date but she was just very busy getting ready for her trip to visit her family in the coming weeks. Fair enough, I thought. Honestly though, if she truly cared, it wouldn't take long to at least say "Sorry, but I won't be able to make it." Instead, she would just ghost, and that's probably the worst thing you could do to someone you supposedly want to date. Eventually I was comfortable distancing myself from her, because life isn't worth playing those silly games, legitimate reasons or not.
Eventhoug dating is hard and stressfull, the fact that courtney still analyzes and gives advice when she already has a fiance makes me think shes such a empathetic and helpful person
@@hareeba5879 Bingo. She's hocking products through her links and she gets ad revenue. The guys who simp over her are pathetic. Sometimes her advice is good, sometimes not. Maybe she does care to an extent, but this is about $$ like every other youtube channel.
Great advice Courtney. Mixed signals is one of the more difficult things for guys. The problem is rooted in the different communication styles between men and women. I remember once having a conversation with a much younger woman who didn't understand why this guy kept asking her out. She always said "well. maybe another time" but he kept asking. I told her she needed to firmly say no I'm not interested. She refused to say that because she felt it was impolite. I told her it was far more polite to honestly tell him how she felt, but I could not convince her. Back in my day, the whole dating thing sometimes felt for me like I was navigating a minefield. Probably the same for women.
Curtney, I have to admit - your channel is super insightful! I was dating a girl for around 3 months and I had the gut feeling that it’s not ok. Although the start was beautiful, after 2 months she sent me so many mixed signals that I was literally going crazy but now, I’m getting my sanity back with your videos, thanks a lot!
3:55 that is spot on accurate. It’s been happening to my friends who have been genuinely focusing on themselves, and all of a sudden women started to interact with them more. Turns out, some of them women haven’t talked to them in months or a year and got out of something or were “in town” for a few days. Been catching on to this attention/ validation seeking habits.
Thank you for sharing this. I met a girl online and we’ve been talking for over a month, and she’s been exhibiting all 4 of these mixed signals. I was honest with her that she was sending mixed signals, and completely cut contact with her. Since I did that, I was doubting myself on whether I made the right decision by cutting her off. This validates that I made the right decision. Thank you so much!
There was a girl I knew in college last year that did all of these things. At first, I thought she was a very sweet, kind girl who I was very close with, and I developed a strong crush on her (all my friends could easily tell, as I'm not the best as keeping it subtle). However, she would give me mixed signals, and I constantly questioned if she liked me that way or not. What I didn't realize until it was too late was that in reality, she was very toxic, loved attention, was a very manipulative liar, and truly never cared about me. Without going into too much detail, she lied about something I didn't do, yelled at me in public, and caused drama with another guy who bullied me and my friend. Thankfully, she was just pulled out of the school by her mother (who's just as toxic as her daughter), and I already completely broke contact with her since last semester. Even though it's been months since then, it was very traumatic what she did to me. The one thing that everyone should know is there are some people like this out there, but NOT everyone is toxic or a terrible person. Even though it was a very traumatic experience for me, it did teach me to stand up for myself, as well as to notice these signs earlier on so I don't go through something like this again.
A lot of women mistakenly believe that a man will be totally devastated by their rejection. In reality, we'll feel mildly disappointed and most likely forget about it within an hour.
90% młodych kobiet to narkomanki atencji. Ćpunki smartfonów. Idziesz ulicą i prawie każda młoda kobieta trzyma smartfon. To chore. To już nie są te same kobiety co 25 lat temu. Szkoda na nie czasu. Lepiej zająć się samorozwojem.
Yeah I don't bother talking anymore to girls who'd do nothing but give me mixed signals the whole duration of our former friendship. I was previously used as an emotional tampon and for attention by a girl who claimed to care about me and that I'm so important to her and we knew each other for 10 years, but she cares more about her real friends and her bf, so I decided to delete her number and never talk to her again. I don't like wasting my time on false friends.
Hi Courtney, Absolutely love your videos! I have a co-worker who has definitely flirted hard with me, but then she flirts with other guys as well. She will say that she wants a serious relationship, but then she openly talks about going on casual dates and "having fun". And so on. My conclusion is this: she simply does not know what she wants, and that (to me) is the most toxic thing about any man or woman when it comes to dating.
All of this complexity is unreal. I think the bottom line is that if she's sending mixed signals, move on. Also, this is more validation for avoiding women at work. Women can send out mixed signals then, after the man thinks she may be interested and responds positively, she goes and complains to HR. Next, the man loses his job. While your videos are very informative, my thought is that there needs to be more videos attempting to fix this mess as opposed to explaining how this mess works.
I'm 44 years old approaching 50 years old. I'm glad I got out of dating six years ago. I lost all interest in women. I lost all interest in sex. 17 years! I have accomplishments to finish. Must stay focused on the mission. I decided to give up and live my best life, and work to become the best version of myself. 'Nuff said!
Giving up isn t an option, just mind your business and be open and warm to be around. There s plenty of bars and parks, or events and clubs to visit. There are woman who would really want you for who you are, remember that. When you mind your business and focus on what you care but also being open for anything that makes you be attractive. And be harsh with such things, if she seem to want you offer her a chance, if she fucks around, then get her out. When you complicated you get to the point of giving up and for what? Because some women are miserable beings. Wish you the best fellow stranger!
Ummm .... 6 years until 50? If getting older = flying, then 6 years from 50 wouldn't be close enough [to 50] to begin the initial approach briefing in IFR. You've just reached your Cruising Altitude of your 40's. Don't rush it! Enjoy it!
Important things as well: 0:45 First thing - Once you stop, she wants you; 1:22 Yes I agree that girls do like attention (that's why the gentleman is the very best person to that kind of thing, and also it is chivalry as well. That goes in normal way of behavior as well, just to understand each other as well); 2:45 Second thing - She is playing hard to get (or hot and cold; I would rather say that it is playing yes and no games. Why? Because this is the game when one person is one day or for one week is not interested in seeing, and dating other person, and after a week, or two, for example suddenly decides to go on dating as well. And things are doing either men, and either women as well. Sad, but it's true); 4:38 Third thing - She talks about other guys to you; 5:50 Fourth thing - Her words, and her action do not match; 6:41 I totally agree with you Courtney - If the person finds the time among the other things that are important as well, it means that it really loves us, and appreciate us as well; 7:09 Five things of mixed signals; 8:34 Fifth thing - Problems with communications with other people as well; 8:54 I agree with that - it's not our job to fix the person (what is our responsibility is to fix ourselves as well, and that can be a big bonus for us as well); 9:26 Sixth thing - She doesn't like you; and 11:38 to summarize all the told things as well. Generally speaking, some of these things that you have told can be used in every life situations as well. And the similar things that are telling women, the similar things are saying men as well (honor exceptions). All what you have told there Courtney is so true, cause I had a similar things long time ago. Especially was this hot and cold games, that I would rather call yes, and no games, like I have explained as well. And yes, the words are nothing without actions as well. In the Balkan we say one thing that goes like this: ,,Kakav na jelu, takav na delu." Literal translation would be: The way he eats is the way he works. But reading between the lines means that we have to watch the deeds. The deeds are nothing without the action as well. As for telling that someone is busy for doing this, for doing that, etc. I saw once quote that is saying this: No one is busy. You're just not their priority. Sad but it's true. As soon as you understand that, the better. The color of the nails goes well with the color of the ring. La perfection madam 👏👏👏👏👏👏🤝💙🤍❤.
I'm in the same position. I come from a STEM background and see things too logically, plus over the years I have suffered with social awkwardness. I'm now in the position where I got so attuned to the "Stinky Eye" that I inadvertently tune out true signals of interest. I'm much better socially, but I have to unlearn to stop seeing "Stinky Eye" everywhere.
I would say this is probably the number one issue with women. It’s nice to hear a woman say it and talk about it because it confirms a lot of my suspicions as to why. I’ve pretty much thought of nearly all of these as why it could be but at the end one is left in the dark so it’s cool to see my hypotheses on this hold up. It’s those rare times that the girl is more direct and takes more initiative after I have with her words and actions that I see what it should probably be like.
Thank you for taking the time to address this vitally important, but surely very awkward subject in dating. It's really one of the toughest subjects out there, and as a member of the fairer sex, it must be very diffcult for you to discuss. I'd like to add two more forms of "mixed signals" that I've encountered directly, often more than once: 1) She comes on stronger than she means to, often with midly oaffectionate gestures or even super-helpful ones (like small gifts) that would be huge green flags coming from anyone else. Some of those few pretty girls who actually have nice temperaments often fall into this trap (having perhaps been over-reliant on using their charm to ingratiate themselves), especially if they're already in relationships and think that they're "safe" as a result. But really, they're just trying to be nice. 2) She stays aloof for weeks or even months, before tentatively talking to you or doing you a small favor, just to test the waters. Then if she decides she's not comfortable, she then drifts away from you again.
I know it's cliché to say but... Honesty IS the best policy . I've had the flirt with other guys to make you work more experience . I'm not getting into a bar fight just too make a woman feel good about attracting more than one guy at a time . I would rather walk away and the woman thinks i'm a wimp, than lower my standards .
Something I always abided by was "if I'm not interested, I'm not pursuing her". There were times, when I was younger, that my lack of pursuing someone intrigued them. A point that Courtney made in another video... in high school, I got asked if I was gay - twice - by a girl that I had no clue was interested in me. Looking back as an adult, I can see the signals she sent clear as day, but at 17, I was clueless. As far as women being interested in taken guys... that one drives me nuts. I've always been single, so the number of women interested in me - or girls, when I was younger - has been few and far between. Playing games, been on the end of that more times than I care to count. Same with words and actions not matching. Those two things have worn me out.
God I ugly laugh so hard when some bint think we're gay for not giving in to her advances. Because OBVIOUSLY there's no other reason, right? If you don't like _her_ and go after _her,_ you don't like women in general!
Yeah, when I was in high school, I was so painfully shy and withdrawn (and very clueless) that some thought that I was gay. Looking back, the very, very few girls that were interested did send clear signals but I was too dumb to recognize them.
this video is mostly all true facts and very well dictated, very concise and clear. Great job. I'll start with the solution, it is really not as complicated as we make it out to be, we just get excited which is a good thing. When you are interested in a woman (whether she sends signals or not) start with baby steps, not aggressive, steps that you can walk back if you have to, to save embarrassment and/or awkwardness. Then asses if she took it kindly, if your approach was welcome and if it was, take the next step. Baby step, wait and see, another baby step, wait and see and build it up. You can start with a simple "Hello." If her response is cold, you simply nod and move on, if her response is very friendly, possibly with eye contact, step 2. "How is your day treating you?" Simple 3. "What brings you here?" Switch up and use less cliche-ish phrases and mix it up, not the same verbiage for 128 women and approaches "This is a cool place, what is it that made you end up here today?" 4. Make a comment about something you see right there and then (at this point it is the only thing that you know about her, possibly and that you can comment on) and do it maybe in question form "I like your handbag, I noticed it right away, it's unique, it really calls to be noticed, you wear it every day?...wait a minute, do women wear a handbag or do they use a handbag, how do you say that?" Let her answer, see if she goes into talking about her handbag, does she thank you pleasantly for the compliment. 5. Start fishing and digging...for anything in common ground, you do this by throwing all Spaghetti at the wall until something sticks, TV programs, video games, outdoor activities, shopping, sports, etc. :Do you like football? (wait for response) it's just, I watched for 3 hours last night and I am bumb'd (check body language when you say I'm bumb'd), my Cowboys lost. Yeah, sorry, I don't watch 'Grey is mad at me reruns, only if a female sitting next to me on the sofa makes me watch them and that hasn't been the case lately" That's TV. "Buddy of mine asked me to go with him mountain hiking next week, I'm thinking about whether to go, haven't gone hiking in a long time" (wait for response) That's outdoor activities. "If I go I might have to go shopping for some gear, click on Land's End Apparel or something, you know where to shop for hiking...clothes?" (wait for response) That's shopping. Just clicking down a list until you find something that she's interested in, common ground. When I say wait for her response, I mean let her do some talking, create an exchange, likelihood is something will work and she take off talking, fully engaging in the conversation. So far, 5 baby steps and we are still at a stage that if she goes cold, uninterested in you you can step away "Hey, nice talking to you, be well!" without embarrassment or awkwardness. How should you behave and/or pose during this? Simple, be you! Down the road, when so many steps have gone well and it's time to let her know of your interest and intentions, at this time no more baby steps, no wafering and waffling, you tell her very clearly, very assured, very straight that you are crushing on her and that you want more of her. No holding back at that time but by then you should be reasonably certain that she likes you mutually. Couple of things to know about mixed signals, it is really true that most women go, for a lifetime, through self doubting and insecurity, specially when it comes to competition from other women, they question if they look good enough, if they picked the right clothes, the right make-up and on and on, insecurity plays a big role in mixed signals and it is easy to detect and gives you an opportunity to help her at ease, by complimenting, affirming her thougts, being interested in what she says and giving her attention. Second, it really does still happen that some drop dead gorgeous women are just so nice and pleasant, genuinely, they wonder why so many men approach them, they think men are great because men are always nice to them and they have no clue how gorgeous they are. This, we can easily misread as thinking that they are really into us, when the truth is that they are just so nice to everyone.
I think there's something to be said about not constantly hounding her that makes her perceive you as more attractive because it demonstrates that you have other things going on in life and aren't desperate/needy. And in terms of a girl entertaining you only after she sees you with other women, it's a form of social proof. If other girls find a guy attractive, a woman will subconsciously see the guy as more attractive also because it acts as sexual validation for the guy.
A female friend always seemed to seek me out after I decided to give up on her. Eventually I realized that: a) we weren't that well matched, and b) I was her fallback guy. She could depend on me being there for her, but when things turned in her favor (a new guy), she'd lose interest in me. She once told me that my best trait was that I "didn't play games". Apparently she did, and no wonder I was losing.
Regarding number one, just today this happened. I had a tentative dinner date (not actually a "date" date), and half the day went by with no word from her. (And over this past week, days would go by after I asked a question via text.) I sent a text telling her something came up, and now all of a sudden she sends me text messages. I don't know if _I_ was playing games, but I do know I was tired of waiting for replies, so hence today's decision to postpone the dinner.
You can just send a text that your ex just flew into town and she wants to make things work. Otherwise, your Aunt came into town that day and wanted to catch up. Or a female coworker that's sexually interested asked you out.
Everyone is different but I learned if I see mixed I just go in my own way Don't accept that behavior it will escalate later Choose who wants your happiness and value you
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
You're describing most of the women I've "talked to" and "bought dinner for" before, lol. I'm used to the ghost mode too, where they won't respond until the next day or two later, when they need attention again and fine dining. Those same women, text back whoever texts them, immediately while out on a date with me. I have to put two and two together on that one. P.S. I figured out that I must have come across your channel because of Teddy B, as I'm into watches a bit and watch some of that stuff. I also watch that girl who slides into the frame with relationship advice, ha. What I didn't know, is that you kids are right in my town of the CLE too. Small world. Hi neighbors!
I can personally relate to this as a retrospective post breakup. Thought I found a unicorn, but I was delusional. She did and said all of these. Ty, therapeutic to know I was the one with high value.
Bringing up the ex is the worst possible thing especially if it's constant comparison between you and them. It happened to me and it wasn't worth the trouble to deal with. In the end I told her to go back to them and never looked back. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink when it comes to love. Focus on those who have healed and moved on period.
Hi Courtney, great vid as usual! I have received these mixed signals just recently myself and it's honestly frustrating. The girl told me she wanted to see me, yet always had some excuse or explanation why she wouldn't be able to make it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt twice and the third time I just stopped answering her out of disappointment. As you mentioned in your first point, she then tried to reach out probably for attention but I left it there. Not my cup of tea.
One very common reason that a person sends mixed signals is that they have some form of BPD. They simply have trouble regulating their emotions and can be at either end of the spectrum from one moment to the next. Note; It's way harder on that person to be in this state than it is on you.
That's just outright stupidity. Many people aren't naturally emotional or communicate properly. It's often something that has to be learned and should be done earlier in life, but parents failed them. Peer pressure among women is also terrible, so women can be subject to taking terrible advice from their friends (often based on their own poor judgement, being a slut, or watching too much terrible tv/social media). Sometimes they just make poor decisions. There's a 1,001 reasons other than BPD for the way women act.
true,& rejection with "i'm busy" can be due to people being caught in other psychological health issues too,eg.people having sleep + procrastination/ocd/time management issues. they may have difficulties making time for a relationship even if they want to when they're barely functioning. 🔹& so they may say they're busy but its a different kind from being work/regular life busy. 🔸𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 🔹& they may not want to talk about it with a person if they dont know them well. so they can only say they're busy. 🔸𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙚𝙨 🔹if they have ptsd or they're introverts they can take time to open up. 🔸𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨 🔹there are also cautious & exceptional personality types & those not being discussed means that people are more likely to be misunderstood. 🔸𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙙𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙚. 🔹i rarely see advice about dating with psychological health issues faced by regular people that aren't as extreme as narcissism/psychopathy. 🔸𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨. 🔹& it causes communication gap & misunderstandings as average dating advice doesn't apply to them.
They're complicated...we're complicated...everybody to everything is complicated. But it's amazing to have Courtney explain this stuff to us so that things aren't so complicated. Man, this is a joke waiting to happen.
Thanks Courtney! My ex still does all of these things but now she’s married with children…still doing them, to me. 🤷🏻♂️ Like you said, wish we could all tell each other how we feel from the get go. Anywho, keep up the golden advice ❤
Isn't that sad? When your ex reaches out to you, while she's balls deep in a relationship and family with someone else? Telling you all the ways she's still not happy, like wtf do you want me to do about that lol
@@PaperRaines exactly. Everything Courtney sais here should be like a guidebook lol. they’ll play mind games with you and disrespect you if you even play back. They want attention because they know you’ll text back and chase, and if you get with someone else or they even hear about it they’ll get jealous and reach out again.. while they’re still balls deep in said relationship!? Lol It’s f*+$ed up Eduardo!
I am usually dense when it comes to girls giving me the signal but maybe it stems from a girl I had a crush on in high school. I was with a friend at Quiznos eating lunch and she came in and walked to our table. Rather than pull up a chair she sat in my lap for a bit and chatted with us before leaving. I thought that was her giving me a sign she liked me but I was rejected when I asked her out lol. I think I subconsciously 2nd guess all signals now
She was just pushing boundaries, it's a fun game to play, but she will simply tell you if she has an interest in you. Signals are only relevant until you have an actual conversation.
I have a woman I really liked at work, she eventually randomly stopped talking to me and then would do weird stuff of interrupting my conversations with other people to speak with the people I'm speaking with ignoring me. So either she really likes me or she doesn't point is weird mind games like that aren't cool with me so I just talk to her here and there no longer interested in any of that mess...
thanks for this video. The " I wanna see you but im busy " really hit hard for me i get that ALL the time i work 2 jobs myself and i will make time for the girl i like but that has never been reciprocated. Its frustrating and just makes me not want to date at all
A few months ago, I got the swing in attention thing from a girl where I'm pretty sure the cause was that she didn't get that some level of attention I gave her was due to romantic interest. She is definitely sometimes really socially oblivious. When something tragic happened that made me evaluate where I was putting time and energy into I stopped spending as much time interacting with her. She seemed to notice something was different started initiating interactions instead. So I guess that's another potential cause for that particular behavior. (She did seem to put 2 and 2 together after I took a shot at inviting her to do something together and turned me down but again, some friends think she's just that oblivious but in any case I've met women since that I'm far more interested in)
Good. Hopefully you're spending 0 time or energy on that one now. Socially oblivious is a no go. Plus it sounds like she never helped you out during a bad time. She's probably oblivious when it suits her.
Hot and cold is the worst! I went through that and couldn't help but feel like I was lead on and had my time wasted. If she does this crap to you, let her stay cold all the way out the door!
Are men more attracted to women who they think other men are into? For me, I feel very lucky because I experience the opposite. I have had many crushes on girls who I think that other men don't like the look of or think are weird.
Talk about schizophrenic and inconsistent. Don't give attention (they come after you), like to be chased (pursued), want you to take charge and lead. Tread that razor's edge.
Welcome to the club sir 🫱🏼🫲🏾 lol. Not so much tho that I love being single, it's just that Courtney's videos have been validating the observations I've been making for years now, that there's a lot broken people, for this focus women, engaging in a lot of nonsense that they confuse for legitimate relationships. And I'm just not a participant in any of this, so I'm standing by the side eating popcorn and shaking my head at this point
Reading the signals is hard enough as it is....some women make it especially hard. I don't know whether these women are just completely oblivious to how their behavior indicates interest, or whether they are maliciously trying to rope in guys they're not attracted to just to get off on rejecting them. Here are some of the mixed signals I've dealt with over the years: I had a female friend I had a crush on. She was in a relationship. When they broke up, she started paying a lot more attention to me/complimenting me, etc. One day, she threw her arms around me, held me tightly for several seconds, and whispered in my ear, "I love you Mike." A few days later, I asked her out. She rejected me, saying she wasn't ready to date anyone and that she wasn't into white guys (we're both white). By the end of the week she was dating another white guy. I met a girl on a dating site once. We were texting. One night, she texted me that she was alone at home, drunk, and very very horny. When I said come over, she responded with, sorry I'm not interested in you sexually. One day I was on public transportation with some guy friends. A girl interrupted our conversation, started talking to me, asked me for my number, invited herself over to my place to watch a movie, showed up decked out in her best clothes with makeup and perfume with a romantic movie. just when it seemed like we were going to hook up, she abruptly left. Then she texted me the next day saying that she had a great time and wanted to know if she could come over Saturday to practice her massage therapy techniques on me. She said how about 9am? I said, wouldn't it be more romantic if we did it at night? Silence for a half hour. Then a deluge of text messages about how she didn't mean to be misleading, but she's not interested in me that way and she left abruptly that movie night because she felt like she was going to hook up with me but didn't actually want that. I met a girl right before the pandemic. We were texting and she kept saying she wanted to go out with me. Then I just stopped hearing from her. About a year and a half later, she texted me from another number and said she had lost her job because of the pandemic and got her phone turned off, but she was working again and wanted to go out with me. I said ok when? She texted back, "I'm available Monday". I said great let's get together on Monday. Never heard from her again. I was texting with this other girl I met. She made plans with me and flaked out 3 times. So I told her to stop contacting me. She continued. I blocked her. Several months later, she called me from another number. She wanted to come over. I said ok. She proceeded to call me from like 4 different phone numbers all throughout the night drunk in various bars. Then she showed up at my front door at 8am to tell me she wasn't interested in hooking up with me. I once had a girl ask me out and then flake out at the last minute 4 times in a row. Another girl I met told me that after she met me she was talking to her mom about me and saying she met an amazing guy. I asked her out. She said yes. We made plans. I texted her about an hour before I had to leave to go meet her. She responded oh yeah sorry can't make it today. She wasn't even going to tell me. Never heard from her again. Another time, I was on my way home late and tired. I was listening to music on my headphones waiting for the train. A girl interrupted my music and just started talking to me. She said we used to work together. I didn't remember her at all but that's not unusual. There are a lot of people at work that I train and never see again. She told me I looked great. Turned out we were getting on the same train. We talked the whole time. Turned out we were getting off at the same stop and lived close together. She asked me if I'd like to go with her to get some food before going home. We went out for a snack. Then we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. I waited 2 days then texted her. She responded later that day. I sent her the trailer to a film we had been talking about and asked how her day was. Never heard from her again. She didn't even open those last few text messages. And the most messed up of all mixed signals I've ever gotten: one time I was in bed with a girl fooling around. I went to move things along. The girl said no. So I tried to get up off her. She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me and forcefully prevented me from getting off her while saying no no I don't want to do this. I had to overpower her and break loose to get off her. I never called her again.
Imagine how many men went to jail over false rape charges and were actually the victim, not perpetrator of domestic violence because of these schizoids.
There egos are terrible there complicated and they know it. Lol. they want to be a pain in the ass on purpose who cares if you ask them out a 100 times and they say no they get off on it haha and sometimes they even come back. Hypergamy at its finest. There insane lol. there clouded by their emotions they love rejecting you lol cause it builds there options and dating pool
Met this woman on a dating app (she happens to work at the same school I do but we never crossed paths as it’s pretty large). We decided to meet after a week of talking back and forth a bit. This date was hands down THE best first date I’d ever been on. She said the same but you be the judge after reading thru! It turned into a bit of a marathon date. We planned to get coffee and then do a little touristy city sightseeing as she’s semi-new in town. That went super well. We got along so well. Non stop laughs the whole afternoon. Not a moment of awkwardness, awkward silence, etc. From there I’m feeling it so I asked if she wanted to do dinner and she said yes and that continued to go super well. From there I hinted at dessert and she suggested going somewhere else for dessert and wanting to walk around town a bit more! Drop her off. Really nice hugger. She says “I’ll probably see you at work this week then!” I’m like yea! 30 minutes later she texts me “hope you got home safe! Thank you again for an amazing day and all the thought you put into it! I really had a great time ☺️” verbatim. I respond with “thank YOU. I had an amazing day as well! Next time - xyz museum (that she had hinted at wanting to check out too prior to our initial date)”. Ghosted. Lol. No response. So that was Saturday. Fast forward now three days to a Tuesday at work and we cross paths a few times. First time was on our way to an entire school gathering and we sat next to each other. Slightly awkward. She asks how’s work going for you I’m like good. Little busy. She’s like “yea same. Monday was busy. Sunday was busy” I’m like oh ok that’s cool, I get that. Ran into her later in the day at a meeting for new employees. A lot less awkward. Sat next to her again and laughed, talked cordially amongst others. Still no response to my hint a second date. This video was great and Courtney alluded to many of the things I was thinking. As in maybe unsure of making herself emotionally available especially because, tidbit, she’s on a 1 yr contract with the possibility of resigning. So maybe doesn’t know if she wants to commit. Maybe she wants to date a bit more as she’s new in town. Maybe she’s just not in to me? But judging by the date, really didn’t seem like that. Especially the text she sent at the end of the night. Like I feel you wouldn’t send that just to be nice. If you weren’t into a guy, you wouldn’t even send that with such enthusiasm. I don’t know if the answers no but just tell me?! I know, easier said than done. So I’m not sure what kinda mixed signals these are. Probably one of the ones mentioned. Any other thoughts? Asking for a friend…lol nah jk. Any advice is appreciated!
That was not on you broh women are really weird these days,The true understanding of love i think us men really get that, but they don’t wanna know if start catching feelings,they don’t wanna know if that chemistry that’s something you don’t wanna lose ,i feel like they’re just studying how to hurt us for real
Some, but most women aren't subjecting themselves to spending an evening with a guy they find ugly or creepy just for a free meal. Most women won't be seen in public with a guy they're in no way interested in just for that.
Great!!! I totally agree with your opinion on these matters!!! Hard to paly games sucks...our life is too short to be playing games!!! If someone gives genuine interest..he deserves to be treated with reaspect..even if the answer will be negative!!!! Thanks again!!!
4:40 an ex of mine talked about her multiple exes often, even talked about having sex in and on one of their cars. I think I was more of a therapist for her than a boyfriend
Yeah when they are miserable or insecure with their lives they do such things. One tried to do the same in the past years to me, but i told her that i m not her doctor to help. She was complaining all the time of her ex. When i understood that she didn t knew anything else to do, i left her. Sometimes they use their female form and attractiveness to impress a man so they can use him as a emotional support and nothing more .. disgusting.
Just got out of a three-month dating pattern with a woman like you describe. She talked about her ex-husband and ex-boyfriend quite often. She also discussed the drama that was constantly enveloping her. I felt like a sounding board.
Thank you. I'm new on the dating scene and I was wondering of this was just how dating was, and I was the problem for disliking it. Glad to understand that it can be a different way.
This happens to me all the time. Years ago I thought a girl liked me and I got my hopes up for absolutley nothing. The last two girls I talked to approached me first, were smiling at me, laughing at my jokes, blushing around me, and hugging me. Then when I asked them out they said they were busy. I asked them when they were free to get together and they said I don't know. These women are nothing but attention whores that are trying to boost thier ego and they don't give a crap about you.
Guys, it is so easy - if a girl likes you, you will recognize and that is nothing special either as it does not mean you like her back - being nice and kind not being the same thing and girls usally want to be friendly at all costs. And, do not forget, some women are insecure and unsure themselves, so they are not confident and do not dare or trust always to consitently follow their wishes or actions, changing minds etc. and that does not mean one can help 'em or need to approach more direct etc., and that can scare girls off as well, they want to feel safe 😉
I hate it when they play games. I just don’t want to waste my energy and time on these stupid games. If I notice that they’re playing games, I’m gone and I’ll just move on.
She is holding on to you as a backup in case her main relationship breaks up. If she has a bad day with her #1, she's very nice to you, but if she has a good day with him, you won't hear from her at all.
So an observation: you say to watch what women do and not what they say... does that mean your videos interviewing them automatically become pointless to watch?
Thank you. This is basically being manipulative. I have low key done this myself to coworkers, but not in a romantic way, but just as a way to keep them guessing. It's very dishonest and wrong to play these mine games if you truly love someone.
As someone who has in the past given mixed signals, it has usually been because I am having mixed feelings, and am still making up my mind about them and feel conflicted. This usually has happened when I find myself liking someone, or liking aspects of someone, but may be they show me a part of themselves that I don't know if I can accept or not, or don't know if I feel comfortable, or it aligns with me and what I want. For example, liking someone who is polyamorous or may not share my beliefs and/or religion. Sometimes you don't know what people will show up with and if you want to keep going or not. I think it's important to recognize that not everyone who sends mixed signals are toxic, but may be unsure and taking their time figuring it out, etc. Granted, I'm saying this during the first few months of dating. It's normal I think to get to know people and take your time seeing if a person is right for you and figuring it out as you go along. But it's fair to want to be with someone and pursue someone who knows what they want and feels aligned with you. I realized in those times that if I'm the one having mixed feelings for too long, it's a sign to end it and not carry on. OR a girl will show these signs because they see you as a friend (particularly talking about other guys, her ex, or whoever). Talking about other guys or her ex may also be her sharing parts of her life with you - as a friend or more. It depends on what she shares.
Me, me, me…typically people like this are self absorbed. By the time she figures it out, I’m no longer really that interested and at best I’ll sleep with her and then she how she likes mixed signals..
I accidentally sent a gal mixed signals. I was into her and we flirted a bunch, but I lost interest after she gave me her RUclips channels. I saw her undressing for the camera and I knew she was just looking for male attention. I started distancing myself from her after that; not being a jerk or anything, just not flirting anymore and trying to keep interactions as short as possible.... I didn't want to hurt her feelings 🤦🏽♂️
Many years ago a girl smiled and waved to me occasionally. I thought she was just being friendly and I had no idea until later she was interested in me romantically. At the time I didn't think anyone would be due to confidence issues.
Of course, misinterpreting (however innocent) these signals can get you on a tiktok video or worse like a date in court or even worse than that. Also, props to this channel for figuring out how to monetize the loneliness epidemic.
I can't think of any others that are not on this list at this time, but looking and listening to this video I most definitely have experienced all of these mixed signals throughout my life and am no stranger to them.
There are plenty of women who don’t flat out reject men because men can be violent and abusive when they get rejected. So, ultimately the short answer is: if there is any sign of a mixed signal, leave her alone. She may be trying to manipulate you, or she may just be trying to gently rebuff you because she doesn’t know how you’re going to react to rejection.
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All of these things are the signs of an emotionally immature woman, someone men should avoid. They're usually unsure of what they want in a relationship and in life overall, haven't healed from past trauma, and are doing this because while they enjoy the attention they get from a guy they don't have any genuine interest in the guy. Most of the time these women are afraid to get close to a guy because they're afraid they might either hurt him, get hurt themselves, or are just too immature to commit to a relationship.
🔸These could be all traits in one people or 6-7 different people though. As in 🔹1.emotionally immature,
🔹2.haven't healed from past trauma,
🔹3.likes the attention,
🔹4.afraid of getting hurt/
🔹5.hurt other person,
🔹6.both afraid of hurting/getting hurt,
🔹7.too immature to commit to a relationship.
🔸𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚
🔹& In that case depending on what traits are there for what reason can be worked out while some just can't, till they change & it isn't always in time.
A sign of emotionally immature women who emotionally immature men fall for.
bingo
Unfortunately, there's just a whole lot of women like this today. Smart phones have destroyed traditional date and communication manners.
"they're afraid they might [...] hurt him"
No they're not, don't kid yourself.
I got mixed signals from girls in the past and I even got ghosted at times.
What I used to do about situations like this:
- take it personally
- overreact or pick fights
- curse or threaten
What I do now in situations like this:
1. Take it lightly
2. Let them go
3. Stick with the people that like and accept me
Yes after 65 years on this earth I agree with you..
😭🔥🔊bro is just like me
Wow just reading at what you did amazed me, I feel good that instead of doing some childish thing like that I directly unfollowed and removed her from my follow list silently and she noticed within an hour lol. Then she kept a note saying “let that shit hurt. Then let that shit go”
@@geckoop2848 what do you mean by "she kept a note" is it like a IG story or what?
@@MrLove717 yes an ig note and confusing stories
The fact that nobody talks about the book Casanova Playbook of Magnetism speaks volumes about how people are stuck in their dating life
Could you please elaborate?
This a spam comment don’t even bother, I already read that book and it’s shit 😂😂
@@armandocastaneda5904 your comment is spam itself buddy😉
0:48 Once you stop, she wants you
2:46 She’s playing hard to get
4:42 She talks about other guys to you
5:52 Her words and actions do not match
Gracias!
Thank you!
yup
Oh the words and actions not matching … the worst
@John Fugitt It's so common too.
Whatever guy needs to hear this, this is for you.
Us average everyday girls need you. We need your effort, your kindness, your goofy humor, your chivalry and you fumbling through your learning just like us. Don't give up.
Everything we both see on socials isn't what we see in person. Let's not be fooled anymore. The non Instagram models want and need you. The teachers, the dental techs, the customer service reps, the nurses and regular working class cuties next door. We didn't go anywhere! We just aren't loud on social media. We are volunteering at animal shelters and liking puppy videos because some men are scary.
We need our fair, silly, imperfect gentlemen!!!!❤
These are the type of women i look for!
And those women would guarantee turn down 90% of the guys in this comment section, you're not fooling anyone nice try though 🙄
@@joeplem5329 Yes, because we are drawn to one out of 100 guys we meet in person too? Turning down people you aren't attracted to is normal. Do you automatically like someone just because they like you Joe? A girl may spot one guy in a room full of people. The odds have always been long that doesn't mean give up.
average everyday girls aren't attractive enough to them
:) That actually made me smile.
My solution to mixed signals, hot and cold, trying to make me jealous, is to end the relationship as these are all signs of a toxic person. As Courtney says communication is key to a successful relationship.
All are just simply red flags.
Agreed! I've come across guys who do this and it's an immediate turn-off.
Agreed, whatever the reason may be. Insecurity, Jelousy, trauma. Its all still a toxic manifestation I'm not dealing with cuz I got over it.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing
I have no doubt that some of the people who behave this way may have some issues
But other people simply aren’t in a hurry and aren’t trying to jump into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. They’re looking for the right relationship
An easy way to deal with this is to simply teach yourself to be outcome independent. When you are just beginning to date and get to know someone…You’re happy if they are available and have time and want to make time for you. And you’re just as happy if sometimes they pull back, because your life is good regardless
Match and mirror their behavior. If they’re coming on strong… reciprocate and go with it. If they pull back a little… you do the same. It’s no big deal. Over time you’ll figure out what you’re actually dealing with, and it’s not always bad
@@1gregmoreira yeah but the yoyo behaviour instead of reciprocation and "going with it" is precisely what she's talking about.
If she wants to boost her self-esteem, chasing her isn't going to help, rewarding her good behavior will help. Giving her indirect phrase for good behavior and ignoring as well as walking away from bad behavior will also help
I suggest keeping some chocolates handy and giving her one whenever she exhibits good behavior.
sounds like training dogs
@Frostbite And that is how best friends are formed for a lifetime companionship. ROLL OVER! (rolls over).
So...can I play tug of war with her?
I'm mildly autistic, so all communications from women are difficult to interpret for me. I do have a goal to be a husband and a father in the next 5 years. This is very helpful in guiding me through mixed signals.
In the same boat… rather be safe than sorry, especially in this modern dating scene
first hand experience is the best way to understand ppl. the second best is trying to put ourselves in others' shoes. if you were a woman, born and raised in that context what would you honestly think and do? if you understand what, how and why you will get ppl.
Just request a 'yes or no' answer. It's not just indecisive or malicious females giving other people the runaround. A ton of people tend to have diarrhea of the mouth when all we want is a sentence. Personally I've long since disregarded relations but channels like this help by keeping me up to date on the misery the ladies are giving guys. Other communities I casually follow are involved with rich people wanting to moderate what we can/can't do and when told to give a straight answer, they too blab on about nothing or stutter like Porky Pig.
Addendum: Good luck on your endeavors. We're living in clown world now, whether we like it or not.
I struggled with social awkwardness and fell into many of these traps. Believe me, the realization of what these actually meant I got really angry at this cuz why play these useless games? But yea I no longer fuck with women who send mixed signals srs when no other reasonable factors are considered.
Am also mildly autistic and am grateful to my partner that she doesn't do that. Was a MAJOR problem for me and post metoo, I just could not risk it.
4 mixed signals:
0:48 Once you stop, she wants you
2:46 She’s playing hard to get
4:42 She talks about other guys to you
5:52 Her words and actions do not match
5 categories these mixed signals could fall into:
7:19 She's unsure about her feelings
8:06 She's playing hard to get
8:31 She struggles with communication
9:09 She's flat out using you
9:27 She doesn't like you but she's trying to be nice
Talking about other guys i tought was a typ of step back, but when I think about it sometimes they show up to be very interesting.
Great list.
If a girl plays hard to get she's likely hard to want, for the long term. We are supposed to be adults by now and that means we don't have time for games. If they play games, either School Them at it, or walk away
It's like what people say, you need to be dating a high value woman which you probably won't see very often in most places if you're still improving yourself early on. Probably the easiest and mature types are probably single moms, but even that's a handful if you're not prepared for all the kids that come with relationships. That's kinda why dating someone early on can actually be a lot stressful because she probably hasn't even matured enough to handle relationships properly.
How would you "school" them?
@@Danny328DT Lol what is high value woman for you?
@@trnovsky33 Someone who's mature enough in life to make future plans and think long term, not the lovey dovey hookup and move to the next type of person. I want someone who values themselves just how I do. You won't find that starting out your career journey, but there's always an exception.
@@SevenOh7o by beating them at their own game by a long shot. Like having a male sprinter race against women. It's sad and cruel but it is a tool
Courtney is now a voice in my mind as I go about my dating life. Like the good angel on your shoulder.
😇🫶🏼
@@CourtneyRyan You know what would help a lot of guys...like me? Have some former strippers on the show to give away all the secrets strippers use on guys. This might help. Thanks for being so wonderful.
Remember if that voice says "This is a red flag" it's time to abort
For the men who didn’t have a caring sister.
@@Fallensky17 I wish I would have had this channel about 10 years ago.
Dating is hard. Let’s make it more complicated by not being straightforward and not saying exactly what we want, while complaining people aren’t clear enough or don’t know what they want
Actually dating is simple. If she says anything other than "yes" to a second date, move onward.
@@MikeyP109 Agree. I've said this more times than I can count. I've had woman say it to me also. My response to, "Dating is hard" is always, "Dating is easy. Finding the right person to continue to date is what's hard".
@@Swearengen1980 It's almost impossible to find the right girl to date that you're really into to.
@@rascal211 I'm in my 40s and I met a lot of good women that I was into. They weren't quite the one, but they were good women. And now I have an amazing one I'll have a future with. It's not "almost impossible" except in your mind and that is the problem. If you keep believing it's impossible, then it will be. Women can smell that attitude and run like hell. It's in your words, your demeanor, your attitude, whether you think it is or not. I'm a no-nonsense redneck, never lie, take no shit, and require an old fashioned, nurturing woman. And I found them. The first step is to eliminate the liberals from your options.
I think as men deep down we know if a woman is interested or not despite the mixed signals. Whether it be delusion on our part or a failure to accept reality we inevitably make it worse.
I know being delusional is the worst.
its always a delusion
IDK about that. I did the let’s date tango with a women when I was younger. All outward signs from her were I want to date you, but when it came to actually going on a date, she always put up a barrier. It was truly mixed signals. Deep down inside, I didn’t know what to think. I guess she found me attractive, but deep down inside herself she had doubts about dating me, but couldn’t just tell me that. I ended up meeting another woman not long after that and am still with her 25 years later.
@yersiryerp But today, even 6's think they are 9's. That's reason 28 of why "Men stopped dating"
I dated a girl who did all of these, and she was the most toxic traumatized young lady I have ever known.
There are a lot of women (both young and old) who have various emotional problems. Many suffer from depression or bipolar.
@@kelleychilton2524 It's psychosomatic. It's all tied to the "mind".
I’ve been married for 20 years and raised three children with my wife. Everything went so easy with my wife. She didn’t put me through any bullshit. My advice: don’t waste time on difficult women. Easier said than done, because as men we do tend to fall in love and fixate on one particular woman. Those mind games Courtney describes work on us.
Great advice, appreciate it and happy to hear that you have created such a beautiful family
The mild women look safe but they are boring,
@@Chad_Max and find some boring woman.
My first wife had borderline personality disorder. She was anything but boring. I had to sleep with one eye open. I’ll take boring any day over that. I can come up with plenty of ways to entertain myself that don’t involve having the police knocking on my door.
Number #1 and #2 are the ones I have the most experience with. It usually goes, they'll play hard to get and I move on. After a few weeks to a month and some change, they'll hit me to "check in". When I first started dating this would reel me right back in. Now I just tell them I moved on which prompts the myriad excuses they'd come up with. Just recently I matched with a girl on a dating app talking about I "ghosted" her... No, I unmatched because the girl would take weeks to get back to me. To the women, a man's time is just as valuable as yours. To the men, move on from people who don't respect your time. You'll save yourself a lot of headaches.
This.
Hah. I never tolerated that shit. I said good luck to a few women who took just a couple days to continue the conversation and they made some excuse about being too busy. I flat out told them, "Bullshit. No one is too busy to take 20 seconds to tell a person they may be interested in they'll be busy for a few days and they'll get back to you soon. The 2 more likely options are that either I'm not your first choice and you're waiting to see how it pans out with the other guy or you're simply a selfish person with no manners or common courtesy. None of which are scenarios I tolerate." Usually I was just unmatched/deleted and occasionally one would try to defend themselves, to which I'd reply, "Then don't take days to continue conversation with someone you've established communication with....with the next guy." Every woman who made it to dating messaged/texted daily or had the courtesy to say they weren't available.
I’ve just blocked them ha
Base line: if you get mixed signals, get out.
As a pretty inexperienced guy, if I get mixed signals I just assume she doesn't like me. Simple and I know not to invest my energy & emotions. If a girl likes me she can approach first but I don't bother making the first move (I enjoy being single and don't need to look for a partner so I won't make a move. And I'll only accept if I see that a relationship with someone is better than my blissful singleness).
Lastly, if she's flirting with other guys as well... She belongs to tha streets.
Well said! Some of the best dating advice I've heard: if you're confused about how they feel about you, they don't really like you.
A girl will rarely ever approach first. Get out of your comfort zone
Mixed signals is sometimes all guys will get. Mixed signals is better than long periods of time with no signals at all.
In my experience, letting them know that you're not trying to play their games is the fastest way to weed out the immature ones.
I totally agree
True
when a women plays hard to get or give me mixed signals, I move on and forever ignore them. people been playing games my entire life especially women in general and i have 0 tolerance for that crap at 46 years old. they wanted to equal to men, pull your weight around and meet us half way if not go date a narcissist, maybe than they might realized on what they missed out on REAL GOOD, GENUINE MEN. NO MEN should waste their time on waste of space like women who plays games. Thank you Courtney for your amazing work... of all dating coaches on RUclips, In my opinion, you are the best, the most honest and logical. I followed some advises from others and they were wrong. I listen to you and things makes sense. We need more women like you on this earth.
*One confusing mixed signal is when she acts interested one day and distant the next. It can feel like you're playing a guessing game, but it often means she’s uncertain or testing the waters. The key is to be patient, communicate openly, and not overanalyze her behavior.*
Incredible timing for this video. Over the past few weeks I have been talking to this woman, trying to set up a date. I usually vet them over a phone call first. She seemed okay, but had low energy on the call, and so I offered suggestions on what to do, she turned most of them down and then I told her to recommend something she likes. She didn't respond for 5 days, and today we were supposed to meet and she's like lets meet on later in the week, and I just told her "you're clearly uninterested, so I will pass". I blocked her number afterwards.
Courtney is bang on, people make time for whats important to them.
👏🏽👏🏽
Good on you man👍🏻
Good for you man, next time just be upfront and direct since these women don't wanna reciprocate even if they aren't interested
@@joashedwards7206 agreed. I tried what I could from my side. But energy has to be reciprocated. Any self respecting man will drop it and let it be.
@@sparshrastogi2646 💯
I dealt with a girl who would always agree to go out and do something, but would always cancel last minute, often without even messaging me. It would put me through a roller coaster of emotions because I would legitimately plan for these events (including getting my car fixed for a road trip), only to get ghosted. Very painful to go through, so I talked to her in person saying "we don't have to date, we can just be friends, or if you really want me to I can just walk away completely--no pressure." She said she DID want to date but she was just very busy getting ready for her trip to visit her family in the coming weeks. Fair enough, I thought. Honestly though, if she truly cared, it wouldn't take long to at least say "Sorry, but I won't be able to make it." Instead, she would just ghost, and that's probably the worst thing you could do to someone you supposedly want to date. Eventually I was comfortable distancing myself from her, because life isn't worth playing those silly games, legitimate reasons or not.
Eventhoug dating is hard and stressfull, the fact that courtney still analyzes and gives advice when she already has a fiance makes me think shes such a empathetic and helpful person
Get real. She is making a living.
@@hareeba5879 Bingo. She's hocking products through her links and she gets ad revenue. The guys who simp over her are pathetic. Sometimes her advice is good, sometimes not. Maybe she does care to an extent, but this is about $$ like every other youtube channel.
I have no clue how you're connecting the dots between having a fiance and being empathetic.
Great advice Courtney. Mixed signals is one of the more difficult things for guys. The problem is rooted in the different communication styles between men and women. I remember once having a conversation with a much younger woman who didn't understand why this guy kept asking her out. She always said "well. maybe another time" but he kept asking. I told her she needed to firmly say no I'm not interested. She refused to say that because she felt it was impolite. I told her it was far more polite to honestly tell him how she felt, but I could not convince her. Back in my day, the whole dating thing sometimes felt for me like I was navigating a minefield. Probably the same for women.
Curtney, I have to admit - your channel is super insightful! I was dating a girl for around 3 months and I had the gut feeling that it’s not ok. Although the start was beautiful, after 2 months she sent me so many mixed signals that I was literally going crazy but now, I’m getting my sanity back with your videos, thanks a lot!
3:55 that is spot on accurate. It’s been happening to my friends who have been genuinely focusing on themselves, and all of a sudden women started to interact with them more. Turns out, some of them women haven’t talked to them in months or a year and got out of something or were “in town” for a few days. Been catching on to this attention/ validation seeking habits.
Thank you for sharing this. I met a girl online and we’ve been talking for over a month, and she’s been exhibiting all 4 of these mixed signals. I was honest with her that she was sending mixed signals, and completely cut contact with her.
Since I did that, I was doubting myself on whether I made the right decision by cutting her off. This validates that I made the right decision. Thank you so much!
If she walks up to your car and says " $100 for everything, I got a room"
She really wants you
'Great, let's watch Barry Lyndon first.'
Top tier communication 😂
Wait wait wait...... are you sure she's not playing hard to get? 😂😂
A woman speaking directly is never a sign of love 😂... she loves money in this instance.
Well since she was talking to your car, and not you, I think your scenario is still open for interpretation.
There was a girl I knew in college last year that did all of these things. At first, I thought she was a very sweet, kind girl who I was very close with, and I developed a strong crush on her (all my friends could easily tell, as I'm not the best as keeping it subtle). However, she would give me mixed signals, and I constantly questioned if she liked me that way or not. What I didn't realize until it was too late was that in reality, she was very toxic, loved attention, was a very manipulative liar, and truly never cared about me. Without going into too much detail, she lied about something I didn't do, yelled at me in public, and caused drama with another guy who bullied me and my friend. Thankfully, she was just pulled out of the school by her mother (who's just as toxic as her daughter), and I already completely broke contact with her since last semester. Even though it's been months since then, it was very traumatic what she did to me.
The one thing that everyone should know is there are some people like this out there, but NOT everyone is toxic or a terrible person. Even though it was a very traumatic experience for me, it did teach me to stand up for myself, as well as to notice these signs earlier on so I don't go through something like this again.
A lot of women mistakenly believe that a man will be totally devastated by their rejection. In reality, we'll feel mildly disappointed and most likely forget about it within an hour.
You read my mind! Word of wisdom. Thank you
@@SanthoshKumar0a1 Glad I could help.
90% młodych kobiet to narkomanki atencji. Ćpunki smartfonów. Idziesz ulicą i prawie każda młoda kobieta trzyma smartfon. To chore. To już nie są te same kobiety co 25 lat temu. Szkoda na nie czasu. Lepiej zająć się samorozwojem.
maaaan good for you, but youre the first one ive ever heard saying that... i always need so much time to get over someone!!!
@@yoshex9060 You need time to get over a random girl saying she won't go on a date with you?
Yeah I don't bother talking anymore to girls who'd do nothing but give me mixed signals the whole duration of our former friendship. I was previously used as an emotional tampon and for attention by a girl who claimed to care about me and that I'm so important to her and we knew each other for 10 years, but she cares more about her real friends and her bf, so I decided to delete her number and never talk to her again. I don't like wasting my time on false friends.
Wow. Sorry dude. But that experience isn't wasted. Now, you know what to do, and go straight to the point without wasting time.
@@unhappytoyman8767 10 years? that's too much investment
@@unhappytoyman8767 If a girl has another boyfried then forget about her.
PERFECT!
Hi Courtney, Absolutely love your videos!
I have a co-worker who has definitely flirted hard with me, but then she flirts with other guys as well. She will say that she wants a serious relationship, but then she openly talks about going on casual dates and "having fun". And so on. My conclusion is this: she simply does not know what she wants, and that (to me) is the most toxic thing about any man or woman when it comes to dating.
Out of all the "dating coaches" I've seen, I think CR has the best delivery with her content! Very genuine.
Make some friends
Make some money
Blend the two
Create a social circle
Boom, wanted ,loved, and respected.
All of this complexity is unreal. I think the bottom line is that if she's sending mixed signals, move on. Also, this is more validation for avoiding women at work. Women can send out mixed signals then, after the man thinks she may be interested and responds positively, she goes and complains to HR. Next, the man loses his job. While your videos are very informative, my thought is that there needs to be more videos attempting to fix this mess as opposed to explaining how this mess works.
So childish. No man needs somebody in his life who makes tests all the time for him beause it's so frustrating.
A great message and a wonderful presentation. You could not have said it with more sincerity and compassion.
I'm 44 years old approaching 50 years old. I'm glad I got out of dating six years ago. I lost all interest in women. I lost all interest in sex. 17 years! I have accomplishments to finish. Must stay focused on the mission. I decided to give up and live my best life, and work to become the best version of myself. 'Nuff said!
+Jeffrey Cheng that sounds pretty sad...
Giving up isn t an option, just mind your business and be open and warm to be around. There s plenty of bars and parks, or events and clubs to visit. There are woman who would really want you for who you are, remember that. When you mind your business and focus on what you care but also being open for anything that makes you be attractive. And be harsh with such things, if she seem to want you offer her a chance, if she fucks around, then get her out. When you complicated you get to the point of giving up and for what? Because some women are miserable beings. Wish you the best fellow stranger!
Ummm .... 6 years until 50? If getting older = flying, then 6 years from 50 wouldn't be close enough [to 50]
to begin the initial approach briefing in IFR. You've just reached your Cruising Altitude of your 40's. Don't rush it! Enjoy it!
@@kettle_of_chris Thanks for that.
@@jeffreycheng5984 👍 take it easy!
Important things as well: 0:45 First thing - Once you stop, she wants you; 1:22 Yes I agree that girls do like attention (that's why the gentleman is the very best person to that kind of thing, and also it is chivalry as well. That goes in normal way of behavior as well, just to understand each other as well); 2:45 Second thing - She is playing hard to get (or hot and cold; I would rather say that it is playing yes and no games. Why? Because this is the game when one person is one day or for one week is not interested in seeing, and dating other person, and after a week, or two, for example suddenly decides to go on dating as well. And things are doing either men, and either women as well. Sad, but it's true); 4:38 Third thing - She talks about other guys to you; 5:50 Fourth thing - Her words, and her action do not match; 6:41 I totally agree with you Courtney - If the person finds the time among the other things that are important as well, it means that it really loves us, and appreciate us as well; 7:09 Five things of mixed signals; 8:34 Fifth thing - Problems with communications with other people as well; 8:54 I agree with that - it's not our job to fix the person (what is our responsibility is to fix ourselves as well, and that can be a big bonus for us as well); 9:26 Sixth thing - She doesn't like you; and 11:38 to summarize all the told things as well.
Generally speaking, some of these things that you have told can be used in every life situations as well. And the similar things that are telling women, the similar things are saying men as well (honor exceptions).
All what you have told there Courtney is so true, cause I had a similar things long time ago. Especially was this hot and cold games, that I would rather call yes, and no games, like I have explained as well.
And yes, the words are nothing without actions as well. In the Balkan we say one thing that goes like this: ,,Kakav na jelu, takav na delu." Literal translation would be: The way he eats is the way he works. But reading between the lines means that we have to watch the deeds. The deeds are nothing without the action as well.
As for telling that someone is busy for doing this, for doing that, etc.
I saw once quote that is saying this: No one is busy. You're just not their priority. Sad but it's true. As soon as you understand that, the better.
The color of the nails goes well with the color of the ring.
La perfection madam 👏👏👏👏👏👏🤝💙🤍❤.
I'm in the same position. I come from a STEM background and see things too logically, plus over the years I have suffered with social awkwardness. I'm now in the position where I got so attuned to the "Stinky Eye" that I inadvertently tune out true signals of interest. I'm much better socially, but I have to unlearn to stop seeing "Stinky Eye" everywhere.
Excellent point: She likes the validation more than she likes you.
I would say this is probably the number one issue with women. It’s nice to hear a woman say it and talk about it because it confirms a lot of my suspicions as to why. I’ve pretty much thought of nearly all of these as why it could be but at the end one is left in the dark so it’s cool to see my hypotheses on this hold up. It’s those rare times that the girl is more direct and takes more initiative after I have with her words and actions that I see what it should probably be like.
I like watching your videos, Courtney. You give a lot of good advice. You never use foul language and you dress tastefully.
Thank you for taking the time to address this vitally important, but surely very awkward subject in dating. It's really one of the toughest subjects out there, and as a member of the fairer sex, it must be very diffcult for you to discuss.
I'd like to add two more forms of "mixed signals" that I've encountered directly, often more than once:
1) She comes on stronger than she means to, often with midly oaffectionate gestures or even super-helpful ones (like small gifts) that would be huge green flags coming from anyone else. Some of those few pretty girls who actually have nice temperaments often fall into this trap (having perhaps been over-reliant on using their charm to ingratiate themselves), especially if they're already in relationships and think that they're "safe" as a result. But really, they're just trying to be nice.
2) She stays aloof for weeks or even months, before tentatively talking to you or doing you a small favor, just to test the waters. Then if she decides she's not comfortable, she then drifts away from you again.
The "fairer sex". Thanks for the laugh!
@@MikeyP109 Thanks for the chauvinism. 🙄
Thanks for the video, a woman stopped dating me after 2 dates and I believe you confirmed why it's better for me not to be with her.
I know it's cliché to say but... Honesty IS the best policy . I've had the flirt with other guys to make you work more experience . I'm not getting into a bar fight just too make a woman feel good about attracting more than one guy at a time . I would rather walk away and the woman thinks i'm a wimp, than lower my standards .
Something I always abided by was "if I'm not interested, I'm not pursuing her". There were times, when I was younger, that my lack of pursuing someone intrigued them. A point that Courtney made in another video... in high school, I got asked if I was gay - twice - by a girl that I had no clue was interested in me. Looking back as an adult, I can see the signals she sent clear as day, but at 17, I was clueless.
As far as women being interested in taken guys... that one drives me nuts. I've always been single, so the number of women interested in me - or girls, when I was younger - has been few and far between.
Playing games, been on the end of that more times than I care to count. Same with words and actions not matching. Those two things have worn me out.
God I ugly laugh so hard when some bint think we're gay for not giving in to her advances. Because OBVIOUSLY there's no other reason, right? If you don't like _her_ and go after _her,_ you don't like women in general!
Yeah, when I was in high school, I was so painfully shy and withdrawn (and very clueless) that some thought that I was gay. Looking back, the very, very few girls that were interested did send clear signals but I was too dumb to recognize them.
women ☕
this video is mostly all true facts and very well dictated, very concise and clear. Great job.
I'll start with the solution, it is really not as complicated as we make it out to be, we just get excited which is a good thing. When you are interested in a woman (whether she sends signals or not) start with baby steps, not aggressive, steps that you can walk back if you have to, to save embarrassment and/or awkwardness. Then asses if she took it kindly, if your approach was welcome and if it was, take the next step.
Baby step, wait and see, another baby step, wait and see and build it up.
You can start with a simple "Hello." If her response is cold, you simply nod and move on, if her response is very friendly, possibly with eye contact, step 2. "How is your day treating you?" Simple
3. "What brings you here?" Switch up and use less cliche-ish phrases and mix it up, not the same verbiage for 128 women and approaches "This is a cool place, what is it that made you end up here today?"
4. Make a comment about something you see right there and then (at this point it is the only thing that you know about her, possibly and that you can comment on) and do it maybe in question form "I like your handbag, I noticed it right away, it's unique, it really calls to be noticed, you wear it every day?...wait a minute, do women wear a handbag or do they use a handbag, how do you say that?" Let her answer, see if she goes into talking about her handbag, does she thank you pleasantly for the compliment.
5. Start fishing and digging...for anything in common ground, you do this by throwing all Spaghetti at the wall until something sticks, TV programs, video games, outdoor activities, shopping, sports, etc. :Do you like football? (wait for response) it's just, I watched for 3 hours last night and I am bumb'd (check body language when you say I'm bumb'd), my Cowboys lost. Yeah, sorry, I don't watch 'Grey is mad at me reruns, only if a female sitting next to me on the sofa makes me watch them and that hasn't been the case lately" That's TV. "Buddy of mine asked me to go with him mountain hiking next week, I'm thinking about whether to go, haven't gone hiking in a long time" (wait for response) That's outdoor activities. "If I go I might have to go shopping for some gear, click on Land's End Apparel or something, you know where to shop for hiking...clothes?" (wait for response) That's shopping. Just clicking down a list until you find something that she's interested in, common ground. When I say wait for her response, I mean let her do some talking, create an exchange, likelihood is something will work and she take off talking, fully engaging in the conversation.
So far, 5 baby steps and we are still at a stage that if she goes cold, uninterested in you you can step away "Hey, nice talking to you, be well!" without embarrassment or awkwardness. How should you behave and/or pose during this? Simple, be you!
Down the road, when so many steps have gone well and it's time to let her know of your interest and intentions, at this time no more baby steps, no wafering and waffling, you tell her very clearly, very assured, very straight that you are crushing on her and that you want more of her. No holding back at that time but by then you should be reasonably certain that she likes you mutually.
Couple of things to know about mixed signals, it is really true that most women go, for a lifetime, through self doubting and insecurity, specially when it comes to competition from other women, they question if they look good enough, if they picked the right clothes, the right make-up and on and on, insecurity plays a big role in mixed signals and it is easy to detect and gives you an opportunity to help her at ease, by complimenting, affirming her thougts, being interested in what she says and giving her attention.
Second, it really does still happen that some drop dead gorgeous women are just so nice and pleasant, genuinely, they wonder why so many men approach them, they think men are great because men are always nice to them and they have no clue how gorgeous they are. This, we can easily misread as thinking that they are really into us, when the truth is that they are just so nice to everyone.
I think there's something to be said about not constantly hounding her that makes her perceive you as more attractive because it demonstrates that you have other things going on in life and aren't desperate/needy. And in terms of a girl entertaining you only after she sees you with other women, it's a form of social proof. If other girls find a guy attractive, a woman will subconsciously see the guy as more attractive also because it acts as sexual validation for the guy.
A female friend always seemed to seek me out after I decided to give up on her. Eventually I realized that: a) we weren't that well matched, and b) I was her fallback guy. She could depend on me being there for her, but when things turned in her favor (a new guy), she'd lose interest in me. She once told me that my best trait was that I "didn't play games". Apparently she did, and no wonder I was losing.
Regarding number one, just today this happened. I had a tentative dinner date (not actually a "date" date), and half the day went by with no word from her. (And over this past week, days would go by after I asked a question via text.) I sent a text telling her something came up, and now all of a sudden she sends me text messages. I don't know if _I_ was playing games, but I do know I was tired of waiting for replies, so hence today's decision to postpone the dinner.
You can just send a text that your ex just flew into town and she wants to make things work. Otherwise, your Aunt came into town that day and wanted to catch up. Or a female coworker that's sexually interested asked you out.
Everyone is different but I learned if I see mixed I just go in my own way
Don't accept that behavior it will escalate later
Choose who wants your happiness and value you
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Really? How do i find one please?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
You're describing most of the women I've "talked to" and "bought dinner for" before, lol. I'm used to the ghost mode too, where they won't respond until the next day or two later, when they need attention again and fine dining. Those same women, text back whoever texts them, immediately while out on a date with me. I have to put two and two together on that one. P.S. I figured out that I must have come across your channel because of Teddy B, as I'm into watches a bit and watch some of that stuff. I also watch that girl who slides into the frame with relationship advice, ha. What I didn't know, is that you kids are right in my town of the CLE too. Small world. Hi neighbors!
I can personally relate to this as a retrospective post breakup. Thought I found a unicorn, but I was delusional. She did and said all of these. Ty, therapeutic to know I was the one with high value.
Bringing up the ex is the worst possible thing especially if it's constant comparison between you and them. It happened to me and it wasn't worth the trouble to deal with. In the end I told her to go back to them and never looked back. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink when it comes to love. Focus on those who have healed and moved on period.
Hi Courtney, great vid as usual! I have received these mixed signals just recently myself and it's honestly frustrating. The girl told me she wanted to see me, yet always had some excuse or explanation why she wouldn't be able to make it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt twice and the third time I just stopped answering her out of disappointment. As you mentioned in your first point, she then tried to reach out probably for attention but I left it there. Not my cup of tea.
This is so true. I went through some of those things with some women. Now, I know better. Thank you for sharing this truth.
Courtney is the voice I like to listen to in my car other than listening to the radio 📻
6/10 simp score, try harder next time
What a typical simp comment,
I give this simp comment a 8/10
haw come that you are so down to earth ? we rly need more woman like you !
One very common reason that a person sends mixed signals is that they have some form of BPD. They simply have trouble regulating their emotions and can be at either end of the spectrum from one moment to the next.
Note; It's way harder on that person to be in this state than it is on you.
That's just outright stupidity. Many people aren't naturally emotional or communicate properly. It's often something that has to be learned and should be done earlier in life, but parents failed them. Peer pressure among women is also terrible, so women can be subject to taking terrible advice from their friends (often based on their own poor judgement, being a slut, or watching too much terrible tv/social media). Sometimes they just make poor decisions. There's a 1,001 reasons other than BPD for the way women act.
true,& rejection with "i'm busy" can be due to people being caught in other psychological health issues too,eg.people having sleep + procrastination/ocd/time management issues. they may have difficulties making time for a relationship even if they want to when they're barely functioning.
🔹& so they may say they're busy but its a different kind from being work/regular life busy.
🔸𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣
🔹& they may not want to talk about it with a person if they dont know them well. so they can only say they're busy.
🔸𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙚𝙨
🔹if they have ptsd or they're introverts they can take time to open up.
🔸𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨
🔹there are also cautious & exceptional personality types & those not being discussed means that people are more likely to be misunderstood.
🔸𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙙𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙚.
🔹i rarely see advice about dating with psychological health issues faced by regular people that aren't as extreme as narcissism/psychopathy.
🔸𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨.
🔹& it causes communication gap & misunderstandings as average dating advice doesn't apply to them.
Courtney woman psychology is not that simple to understand this what I learned from my experience.
Any way your presentation is awesome ❤
They're complicated...we're complicated...everybody to everything is complicated. But it's amazing to have Courtney explain this stuff to us so that things aren't so complicated. Man, this is a joke waiting to happen.
No. Men are not complicated. We are simple to please.
@@sorryociffer How I worded it was suppose to be a joke, but yeah I understood what you're saying.
@@Ezilla82 Ahhh, I see now. Sorry, sarcasm detector must have been off… 😆
@@sorryociffer It's cool. Sometimes my sarcasm goes over people's heads alot. It happens, we're all human.
man she is so mature,wise and fascinating.!
Thanks Courtney!
My ex still does all of these things but now she’s married with children…still doing them, to me. 🤷🏻♂️
Like you said, wish we could all tell each other how we feel from the get go. Anywho, keep up the golden advice ❤
Isn't that sad? When your ex reaches out to you, while she's balls deep in a relationship and family with someone else? Telling you all the ways she's still not happy, like wtf do you want me to do about that lol
@@PaperRaines exactly. Everything Courtney sais here should be like a guidebook lol. they’ll play mind games with you and disrespect you if you even play back. They want attention because they know you’ll text back and chase, and if you get with someone else or they even hear about it they’ll get jealous and reach out again.. while they’re still balls deep in said relationship!? Lol
It’s f*+$ed up Eduardo!
I like how blunt but honest she is about things we can't see
I am usually dense when it comes to girls giving me the signal but maybe it stems from a girl I had a crush on in high school. I was with a friend at Quiznos eating lunch and she came in and walked to our table. Rather than pull up a chair she sat in my lap for a bit and chatted with us before leaving. I thought that was her giving me a sign she liked me but I was rejected when I asked her out lol. I think I subconsciously 2nd guess all signals now
She was just pushing boundaries, it's a fun game to play, but she will simply tell you if she has an interest in you. Signals are only relevant until you have an actual conversation.
It’s all true and it leaves you with nobody to choose from.
I have a woman I really liked at work, she eventually randomly stopped talking to me and then would do weird stuff of interrupting my conversations with other people to speak with the people I'm speaking with ignoring me. So either she really likes me or she doesn't point is weird mind games like that aren't cool with me so I just talk to her here and there no longer interested in any of that mess...
thanks for this video. The " I wanna see you but im busy " really hit hard for me i get that ALL the time i work 2 jobs myself and i will make time for the girl i like but that has never been reciprocated. Its frustrating and just makes me not want to date at all
A few months ago, I got the swing in attention thing from a girl where I'm pretty sure the cause was that she didn't get that some level of attention I gave her was due to romantic interest. She is definitely sometimes really socially oblivious. When something tragic happened that made me evaluate where I was putting time and energy into I stopped spending as much time interacting with her. She seemed to notice something was different started initiating interactions instead. So I guess that's another potential cause for that particular behavior. (She did seem to put 2 and 2 together after I took a shot at inviting her to do something together and turned me down but again, some friends think she's just that oblivious but in any case I've met women since that I'm far more interested in)
Good. Hopefully you're spending 0 time or energy on that one now.
Socially oblivious is a no go. Plus it sounds like she never helped you out during a bad time. She's probably oblivious when it suits her.
Hot and cold is the worst! I went through that and couldn't help but feel like I was lead on and had my time wasted. If she does this crap to you, let her stay cold all the way out the door!
Are men more attracted to women who they think other men are into? For me, I feel very lucky because I experience the opposite. I have had many crushes on girls who I think that other men don't like the look of or think are weird.
Talk about schizophrenic and inconsistent. Don't give attention (they come after you), like to be chased (pursued), want you to take charge and lead. Tread that razor's edge.
Courtney, after hearing all this, I think I'm starting to love the single life far more than ever!!!😃✌💯
Welcome to the club sir 🫱🏼🫲🏾 lol. Not so much tho that I love being single, it's just that Courtney's videos have been validating the observations I've been making for years now, that there's a lot broken people, for this focus women, engaging in a lot of nonsense that they confuse for legitimate relationships. And I'm just not a participant in any of this, so I'm standing by the side eating popcorn and shaking my head at this point
@@PaperRaines Broken, crooked, and twisted, too!!!
Trying to find a woman who is grounded and stable like 'Courtney Ryan', is like trying to find a needle in a haystack!
I don't think she's grasped quite yet that some of her "advice" actually backfires.
Courtney Ryan, the big sister we all need!
Reading the signals is hard enough as it is....some women make it especially hard. I don't know whether these women are just completely oblivious to how their behavior indicates interest, or whether they are maliciously trying to rope in guys they're not attracted to just to get off on rejecting them. Here are some of the mixed signals I've dealt with over the years:
I had a female friend I had a crush on. She was in a relationship. When they broke up, she started paying a lot more attention to me/complimenting me, etc. One day, she threw her arms around me, held me tightly for several seconds, and whispered in my ear, "I love you Mike." A few days later, I asked her out. She rejected me, saying she wasn't ready to date anyone and that she wasn't into white guys (we're both white). By the end of the week she was dating another white guy.
I met a girl on a dating site once. We were texting. One night, she texted me that she was alone at home, drunk, and very very horny. When I said come over, she responded with, sorry I'm not interested in you sexually.
One day I was on public transportation with some guy friends. A girl interrupted our conversation, started talking to me, asked me for my number, invited herself over to my place to watch a movie, showed up decked out in her best clothes with makeup and perfume with a romantic movie. just when it seemed like we were going to hook up, she abruptly left. Then she texted me the next day saying that she had a great time and wanted to know if she could come over Saturday to practice her massage therapy techniques on me. She said how about 9am? I said, wouldn't it be more romantic if we did it at night? Silence for a half hour. Then a deluge of text messages about how she didn't mean to be misleading, but she's not interested in me that way and she left abruptly that movie night because she felt like she was going to hook up with me but didn't actually want that.
I met a girl right before the pandemic. We were texting and she kept saying she wanted to go out with me. Then I just stopped hearing from her. About a year and a half later, she texted me from another number and said she had lost her job because of the pandemic and got her phone turned off, but she was working again and wanted to go out with me. I said ok when? She texted back, "I'm available Monday". I said great let's get together on Monday. Never heard from her again.
I was texting with this other girl I met. She made plans with me and flaked out 3 times. So I told her to stop contacting me. She continued. I blocked her. Several months later, she called me from another number. She wanted to come over. I said ok. She proceeded to call me from like 4 different phone numbers all throughout the night drunk in various bars. Then she showed up at my front door at 8am to tell me she wasn't interested in hooking up with me.
I once had a girl ask me out and then flake out at the last minute 4 times in a row.
Another girl I met told me that after she met me she was talking to her mom about me and saying she met an amazing guy. I asked her out. She said yes. We made plans. I texted her about an hour before I had to leave to go meet her. She responded oh yeah sorry can't make it today. She wasn't even going to tell me. Never heard from her again.
Another time, I was on my way home late and tired. I was listening to music on my headphones waiting for the train. A girl interrupted my music and just started talking to me. She said we used to work together. I didn't remember her at all but that's not unusual. There are a lot of people at work that I train and never see again. She told me I looked great. Turned out we were getting on the same train. We talked the whole time. Turned out we were getting off at the same stop and lived close together. She asked me if I'd like to go with her to get some food before going home. We went out for a snack. Then we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. I waited 2 days then texted her. She responded later that day. I sent her the trailer to a film we had been talking about and asked how her day was. Never heard from her again. She didn't even open those last few text messages.
And the most messed up of all mixed signals I've ever gotten: one time I was in bed with a girl fooling around. I went to move things along. The girl said no. So I tried to get up off her. She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me and forcefully prevented me from getting off her while saying no no I don't want to do this. I had to overpower her and break loose to get off her. I never called her again.
Imagine how many men went to jail over false rape charges and were actually the victim, not perpetrator of domestic violence because of these schizoids.
They all had boyfriends. It's normal for them to behave like that when they're in a "relationship".
There egos are terrible there complicated and they know it. Lol. they want to be a pain in the ass on purpose who cares if you ask them out a 100 times and they say no they get off on it haha and sometimes they even come back. Hypergamy at its finest. There insane lol. there clouded by their emotions they love rejecting you lol cause it builds there options and dating pool
Met this woman on a dating app (she happens to work at the same school I do but we never crossed paths as it’s pretty large). We decided to meet after a week of talking back and forth a bit.
This date was hands down THE best first date I’d ever been on. She said the same but you be the judge after reading thru! It turned into a bit of a marathon date.
We planned to get coffee and then do a little touristy city sightseeing as she’s semi-new in town. That went super well. We got along so well. Non stop laughs the whole afternoon. Not a moment of awkwardness, awkward silence, etc.
From there I’m feeling it so I asked if she wanted to do dinner and she said yes and that continued to go super well. From there I hinted at dessert and she suggested going somewhere else for dessert and wanting to walk around town a bit more!
Drop her off. Really nice hugger. She says “I’ll probably see you at work this week then!” I’m like yea!
30 minutes later she texts me “hope you got home safe! Thank you again for an amazing day and all the thought you put into it! I really had a great time ☺️” verbatim.
I respond with “thank YOU. I had an amazing day as well! Next time - xyz museum (that she had hinted at wanting to check out too prior to our initial date)”.
Ghosted. Lol. No response.
So that was Saturday. Fast forward now three days to a Tuesday at work and we cross paths a few times. First time was on our way to an entire school gathering and we sat next to each other. Slightly awkward. She asks how’s work going for you I’m like good. Little busy. She’s like “yea same. Monday was busy. Sunday was busy” I’m like oh ok that’s cool, I get that.
Ran into her later in the day at a meeting for new employees. A lot less awkward. Sat next to her again and laughed, talked cordially amongst others.
Still no response to my hint a second date.
This video was great and Courtney alluded to many of the things I was thinking. As in maybe unsure of making herself emotionally available especially because, tidbit, she’s on a 1 yr contract with the possibility of resigning. So maybe doesn’t know if she wants to commit. Maybe she wants to date a bit more as she’s new in town. Maybe she’s just not in to me? But judging by the date, really didn’t seem like that. Especially the text she sent at the end of the night. Like I feel you wouldn’t send that just to be nice. If you weren’t into a guy, you wouldn’t even send that with such enthusiasm. I don’t know if the answers no but just tell me?! I know, easier said than done.
So I’m not sure what kinda mixed signals these are. Probably one of the ones mentioned. Any other thoughts? Asking for a friend…lol nah jk. Any advice is appreciated!
That was not on you broh women are really weird these days,The true understanding of love i think us men really get that, but they don’t wanna know if start catching feelings,they don’t wanna know if that chemistry that’s something you don’t wanna lose ,i feel like they’re just studying how to hurt us for real
Some women lead men on to get free dinners.
Very true 😬
Some men lead on women to get easy sex.
Some, but most women aren't subjecting themselves to spending an evening with a guy they find ugly or creepy just for a free meal. Most women won't be seen in public with a guy they're in no way interested in just for that.
Great!!! I totally agree with your opinion on these matters!!! Hard to paly games sucks...our life is too short to be playing games!!! If someone gives genuine interest..he deserves to be treated with reaspect..even if the answer will be negative!!!! Thanks again!!!
4:40 an ex of mine talked about her multiple exes often, even talked about having sex in and on one of their cars. I think I was more of a therapist for her than a boyfriend
It happens lol.
Yeah when they are miserable or insecure with their lives they do such things. One tried to do the same in the past years to me, but i told her that i m not her doctor to help. She was complaining all the time of her ex. When i understood that she didn t knew anything else to do, i left her. Sometimes they use their female form and attractiveness to impress a man so they can use him as a emotional support and nothing more .. disgusting.
Just got out of a three-month dating pattern with a woman like you describe. She talked about her ex-husband and ex-boyfriend quite often. She also discussed the drama that was constantly enveloping her. I felt like a sounding board.
Thank you. I'm new on the dating scene and I was wondering of this was just how dating was, and I was the problem for disliking it. Glad to understand that it can be a different way.
This happens to me all the time. Years ago I thought a girl liked me and I got my hopes up for absolutley nothing. The last two girls I talked to approached me first, were smiling at me, laughing at my jokes, blushing around me, and hugging me. Then when I asked them out they said they were busy. I asked them when they were free to get together and they said I don't know. These women are nothing but attention whores that are trying to boost thier ego and they don't give a crap about you.
+1000
Guys, it is so easy - if a girl likes you, you will recognize and that is nothing special either as it does not mean you like her back - being nice and kind not being the same thing and girls usally want to be friendly at all costs.
And, do not forget, some women are insecure and unsure themselves, so they are not confident and do not dare or trust always to consitently follow their wishes or actions, changing minds etc. and that does not mean one can help 'em or need to approach more direct etc., and that can scare girls off as well, they want to feel safe 😉
I hate it when they play games. I just don’t want to waste my energy and time on these stupid games. If I notice that they’re playing games, I’m gone and I’ll just move on.
She is holding on to you as a backup in case her main relationship breaks up. If she has a bad day with her #1, she's very nice to you, but if she has a good day with him, you won't hear from her at all.
So an observation: you say to watch what women do and not what they say... does that mean your videos interviewing them automatically become pointless to watch?
Thank you. This is basically being manipulative. I have low key done this myself to coworkers, but not in a romantic way, but just as a way to keep them guessing. It's very dishonest and wrong to play these mine games if you truly love someone.
But why can't women just be upfront with their intentions ??
If they do, they will have to start calling themselves men.
@@josesantana770 🤣
Same reason men can't. Insecurity.
@@MikeyP109 But why can't they admit that their insecure?
@@joashedwards7206Because they are too insecure to do so.
Wow! Everything she has covered in this video makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing, Courtney.
So, how the F*ck can you disambiguate between not interested and interested but testing...
As someone who has in the past given mixed signals, it has usually been because I am having mixed feelings, and am still making up my mind about them and feel conflicted. This usually has happened when I find myself liking someone, or liking aspects of someone, but may be they show me a part of themselves that I don't know if I can accept or not, or don't know if I feel comfortable, or it aligns with me and what I want. For example, liking someone who is polyamorous or may not share my beliefs and/or religion. Sometimes you don't know what people will show up with and if you want to keep going or not.
I think it's important to recognize that not everyone who sends mixed signals are toxic, but may be unsure and taking their time figuring it out, etc. Granted, I'm saying this during the first few months of dating. It's normal I think to get to know people and take your time seeing if a person is right for you and figuring it out as you go along. But it's fair to want to be with someone and pursue someone who knows what they want and feels aligned with you. I realized in those times that if I'm the one having mixed feelings for too long, it's a sign to end it and not carry on.
OR a girl will show these signs because they see you as a friend (particularly talking about other guys, her ex, or whoever). Talking about other guys or her ex may also be her sharing parts of her life with you - as a friend or more. It depends on what she shares.
Me, me, me…typically people like this are self absorbed. By the time she figures it out, I’m no longer really that interested and at best I’ll sleep with her and then she how she likes mixed signals..
I accidentally sent a gal mixed signals. I was into her and we flirted a bunch, but I lost interest after she gave me her RUclips channels. I saw her undressing for the camera and I knew she was just looking for male attention. I started distancing myself from her after that; not being a jerk or anything, just not flirting anymore and trying to keep interactions as short as possible.... I didn't want to hurt her feelings 🤦🏽♂️
Can you give me her channel?
@@NFS-shadedude.....lol
Many years ago a girl smiled and waved to me occasionally. I thought she was just being friendly and I had no idea until later she was interested in me romantically. At the time I didn't think anyone would be due to confidence issues.
Morning Courtney
Morning my friend!
Thanks now I know what to do.
Just start walking in diffrent direction.
If they follow they must commite If not cut off Next
Of course, misinterpreting (however innocent) these signals can get you on a tiktok video or worse like a date in court or even worse than that. Also, props to this channel for figuring out how to monetize the loneliness epidemic.
I can't think of any others that are not on this list at this time, but looking and listening to this video I most definitely have experienced all of these mixed signals throughout my life and am no stranger to them.
Signals get more confusing the less money you have.
There are plenty of women who don’t flat out reject men because men can be violent and abusive when they get rejected. So, ultimately the short answer is: if there is any sign of a mixed signal, leave her alone. She may be trying to manipulate you, or she may just be trying to gently rebuff you because she doesn’t know how you’re going to react to rejection.