I was never fooled by #1..., one time I had a crush on a girl, so I asked her out. She responded with the classic, "I'm not looking to be in a relationship" line. I immediately knew she wasn't interested me, so I moved on.
If we being honest, if another guy who she wanted , came up to her and asked her out . the " I'm not looking for a relationship " wouldn't exist at that moment 😂
Yeah but that never happens even if you clearly say to them like, look I see our communication is getting low, you are always busy, can we just cut the bs and you tell me that you not interested in me and we move on? All she will say is whaaaat? nooo.. following other bs nonsense.. Girls want attention from as many guys as they can get even from the guys they have no interest in.. Best thing to do is to ditch her and never look back
Bro - she'd crawl over broken glass for the guy she does like. the amount of times We've seen women going through all sorts of crazy for the guy they really do like!
Yup. Look at what women spend most of their time talking about and thinking about. Relationships (of all kinds) with men are core to their being. Yes, us guys also expend quite a bit of energy here, but usually also have other stuff going on that's really important to us - career, hobbies, and other interests. And sure, these days women also have some of that, but it tends to be quite secondary. And many have NOTHING else going on. Their primary biological function & imperative is reproduction. Again, men have this too, but also many other things which are NOT secondary, but core to our being. TL;DR Women are ALL ABOUT getting with men. They need that connection more than we do, and will prioritise it over just about anything else.
@@BWater-yq3jx Problem with women these days actually revolves around social media and even texting. They see too much of what others have and tend to have a real bad case of the 'gimme I wants'. Their expectations have been inflated to a point where most men have no chance of ever meeting them. Yes, they do seem driven to find a guy but what they want is unrealistic and impossible for most guys today. And now, many guys are giving up because a person can handle only so many rejections before they just say screw this.
"busy" is just a safe excuse for them just like most single moms use their kids as an excuse. BC if you question it, they can spin it on you a YOU are the one with the problem
One thing I have learned, if a girl genuinely wants you, she’ll go extreme measures to be with you. Don’t fight for any other type of girls or relationships.
A girl told me "I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Can we just be friends?" I said yes. Two weeks later we slept together, and we went on to have a four-year relationship. Thing is, I actually was prepared to just be friends, and she sensed my sincerity. I think sometimes women aren't honest with themselves about what they want.
I think what's happened is she sensed you stopped taking an interest in her and that's what got you into bed with her because she realised you weren't giving her attention. I also agree with your last sentence. Did you ever ask her about it during your relationship?
I had this happen to me as well. As soon as I started going out in dates with other women I found out she was fb stalking them because she didn't want anyone else to have me, but didn't want to commit. We ended up having a 4 year relationship.
I want to share one CRAZY experience I had last year! I took this girl on a date, and the date went well; we went on a 2nd date. Then she told me that she “wasn’t ready for a relationship,” and she was “extremely introverted,” and couldn’t see herself getting married for at least 10 years, and she wanted to live in a camper and travel around alone. Well, 3 months later-she got engaged and then got married last month. I thought “Yeah, no matter how far-fetched her story may be-it’s all BS.” 🤣
So, to all my brothers out there-if she EVER makes up an excuse, ALWAYS move on. You’ll find someone well worth your time and efforts if you don’t get hung up on some girl that doesn’t see the good in you. 💯
Wow, you dodged a bullet then honestly. Imagine if you were the guy who married her but your fiancé was on dates with other dudes leading up to marriage and telling them elaborate lies.
"i don't wanna ruin our friendship" = i don't wanna lose all the benefits from you without obligations, and when they say "you're a great guy, but..." i usualy tell them: you're right! i am a great guy, thats why i deserve better. thank you for reminding me that. bye!
Spot on bro! Manipulative women pull that crap all the time. An honest woman who is actually your friend will be upfront and she know the relationship may suffer after being honest. She won’t lead you on because your welfare matters to her. Manipulative users give excuses so they can continue to benefit from the friendship regardless of what effect it has on your welfare.
Yessir preach brother lol , woman love to friend zone in attempt to thinkin they still get benifits from us men they don’t wanna necessarily throw away , we get nothing out of it but having to help her when needs it or wants attention but you get no 🐱, so yea your right bro on point I can relate I’ve been in that position.
If she says she wants to be friends, see how often she wants to do stuff with you as friends. Friendship has obligations too, and if she is willing to fulfil those then there is plenty of good to come from that. If not, she'll soon show it and you can walk away knowing that if she can't be a good friend to you she'd never have been a good partner.
I'm not trying to offend. But if you're only doing things for her because you think it will get you some 🐱, then you're not actually her friend to begin with. If you're being nice to her only because you like her, then you're not actually a nice guy. I know sometimes things are complicated, but if you like a girl then you should let her know that up front. If she's not interested, then move on. If you want to be friends then that's up to you, as long you understand that you're NEVER going to be anything more than that.
Great video. Once a famous pimp who’s name was Johny Dollar was asked to give young men love advice. He said: Never love a woman you want, love a woman that wants you and you will be happy. Best advice ever coming from 50 years of pimping. You could write a book around that one sentence. Some quotes are just so powerful.
1. 0:50 “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” 2. 2:40 “I’ve been busy” 3. 4:08 “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” 4. 5:51 “You’re a great guy but..” 5. 7:53 “I can’t this week, I’m busy” 6. 9:24 She doesn’t say anything at all
Curious to know what these would mean from a male to a female. I mean the first one is obvious but I've had so much trouble figuring out what guys mean by certain statements too.
Funny story about the 24-48 hour rule. I had my first date with my wife in 1999. I had previously had horrible dating luck. I was shy, I was somewhere between insecure and unconfident, I tried too hard when I should have read the signs. Because I was always concerned that I tried too hard, I would use the 3-day rule where I would wait a couple of days before calling. At the end of our first date I told her, "I'll call you in a few days." Her response was, "Fine. I"ll call you tomorrow." 🤣 We've been together since.
@@Paducahrus Now the 24-hour rule would be considered a joke by most youngsters. 48 hours would be considered a little too early as well. So many people have fallen for the myth that you cannot under any circumstance be seen to be 'needy', so you must actively ignore someone you really like to ensure you can keep seeing them. This arrangement made no sense to you and your wife 25 years ago. It makes a lot of sense now: women, and to a lesser extent men, are bombarded with attention from all corners of the web, and this attention allows them to seek company and indeed intimacy from any number of others on demand, especially if they've got a lot going for them. The higher up the scale of desirability you go, the worse the effect is. A woman no longer needs to build anything with anyone if she's very attractive: an army of desperate simps plus some more cunning players will keep her occupied for as long as she likes. This leaves men who are interested in real relationships and lasting commitment in an odd place: either you degrade yourself by stooping to the level of others and forming a roster of 'friends with benefits', or you degrade yourself by grovelling. Is it any wonder many are choosing to do neither? I don't blame them and I've been dating continously since 1996, during which time I've had eleven long-term relationships and more flings than you can count on ten pairs of hands. The dating scene is worse now than it's ever been, and that's not because I'm getting on in years. You'd think women of my age (nearing 40) would be less insecure and more measured, but most that are either so career driven they have no time for a partner or carrying some extra baggage in the form of a couple of kids from a past marriage. If I don't find 'the one', one day I will simply give up. The risk versus reward ratio is bad enough as it is.
I was talking to a girl at my last job and we always had great, hilarious conversations. Eventually, I realized that I had started every conversation we ever had. When I stopped initiating conversations, they stopped completely. Luckily for me, she was fired two weeks later. Problem resolved.
I just had this realization recently, that I've initiated all interactions. And it's not like I've been a try-hard since we've both been genuinely busy, and it's been chill and fun when we have had opportunities to hangout. But... I don't want it to feel lopsided. So I'm just gonna stay busy and vibe out for a bit. We have upcoming plans to do some activities together with our respective families, so I'm just gonna leave it alone until I feel it out after we've hung out a bit more often. Great video from Courtney, as always.
Important thing to remember! Thy are not sugar coating things to protect YOUR feelings, but to protect THEIR feelings and for them not to feel responsible for anything!
When a girl says "I don't want to ruin our friendship", I say "Bye", and never contact her again. Life's too short to chase anyone who isn't interested.
I remember in college hanging out with a girl for a couple of weeks and had a lot of fun. I finally asked her on an actual date, and her response was the typical, "I don't want to ruin our friendship, let's just be friends." I smiled and politely said thank you, but I have enough friends in my life, and got up and left. She got pissed and we stopped talking until two months later when she found out I was dating someone, then magically she wanted to get together, and go on that "date".
its funny bc when i first started talking to my wife, im like ok so what are you looking for on this dating app, she does "well id like to start as friends and see how things go" i said the exxact same thing about how im not looking for friends im looking to date and im looking to meet up with you within the next few days so if you are interested nows the time to ask me all the "get to know you" stuff. To her credit she was like ok im free saturday but i need you to come to me so i did and weve been together since and made 2 kids. THe "just friends" line is just a shit test and if you dont fall for it is like a cheat code to dating
"Right person, wrong time... no such thing- if they were the right person, it would have been the right time." This is gold! I always go by this rule. I've also heard it said another way: "don't water dead plants."
nope, thesedays 70% of ppl have some sort of trauma which ruins their behavior and healthy thinking, thats why depression, and shortage of psychologists is now at the peak in 100 years. wrong time is very possible because ppl are egoistic and think they dont need to work on themselves, till they mature and find out
When I was young and stupid, I used to cling onto those little "glimmer of hope" expressions. Going into business for myself helped me see that everything that's not a clear "Yes" is some form of a "No." People who have no intention of buying your product or service will waste as much of your time as you give them, because they just can't handle the confrontational aspect of saying "No" to you. Even if you don't necessarily write those people off completely, you stop expecting anything; you stop spending any emotional capital on them.
When I was very young I was a management trainee in a huge garden center. And the warehouse manager once said these words: "A happy customer is not necessarily a good customer". I have thought a LOT about that statement, but I actually think it sums it up pretty accurate. A happy customer is the one taking all your time talking and getting all your advices for free, and then goes home "sell" that knowledge for their own profit. Do not let anyone consume your time/life for free. ;)
Call me a pessimist but I've never held onto the glimmer of hope, the way I see it if she says no you'll never have another chance with her, no matter how she says it, which is also why I'm so scared of rejection, the only thing is that people have tried to give me the glimmer of hope (not the girl, other people) so I don't know how to feel about it
I noticed you started out with "young and Stupid".Being in business smarted you up.That taught you all you need to know about relationships--the RISK factor.
I was friendzoned years ago by who I thought was the woman of my life. Guess what? She wasn't the only woman of my life 😄 we tend to cling to what we love (guilty as charged!) as if they were special and one-off, but reality is that there is a lot of amazing people out there waiting to be met. Keep that in mind and moving on will be easier (easier, not easy 😅).
@@infernalstan886 Somethings aren't meant for us then we got to let it go and stay true to the one the deserves and value your love,care, everything etc etc...
O.p: how were you friendzoned? If you were not "with her" then she shouldn't have meant that much 😐. And infernalstan...you don't have to obsess bro. That's not love either.
When put this way it makes it so obvious, but when you're in the moment and you're clinging to hope it's difficult to see. Thank you for putting things into perspective, Courtney.
@@ghost245353 Well, sometimes Hope and Delusion will overlap in a small stretch. Either way, typically you're right, she'll be disrespectful in a way you just didn't expect, but that shows she ain't the person for you
Actions always speak louder than words. Pay close attention to what they do vs what they tell you. That always seem to produce the more truthful answer(s). And don't be reluctant to walk away. It may be really painful, but it will either attract them to you or save you from even more heartache in the end. In either case, it aint easy to go through any of this. It can make you question at times whether any of this is worth your time, money and effort. Only you can decide that for yourself. Stay focused on your goals and stay strong.
@@gy2045 they do, because like feminist equality, they only want the parts that benefit them and everything else is the fault of defective men in their eyes
I'm 57 years old. For whatever it's worth, I agree with everything you said. I've heard all 5 excuses, and I learned the hard way. We didn't have You Tube or even the internet to go to for advice.
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green kinda makes you cold enough to not fall for women nonsense, better yet The way of the Superior Man by David Deida. You live long enough you see a pattern and what to avoid.
If you express interest, she doesn’t, end the friendship you aren’t friends anymore. Also yes you are completely right women lie so much instead of just being direct. If she wanted you she would accept you, women want relationships even the biggest hoes do. Courtney is spot on on this and should be applauded for telling men how it really is.
The only way men and women can remain friends is when both people don't have any feelings for each other in the slightest. Otherwise, men and women can't stay friends. Period!
I remember two times when i asked a woman for a date and she simply and frankly told me : "Sorry, but my answer in no : I am not interested to go on a date with you." It was hard on my pride at first, but I when the dust went down, I went back to those two women to thank them for being honest with me, rather than telling me a lie, trying not to make me feel bad. Of course, being rejected is hard on a guy's pride, but at least, the woman in direct. I definitely prefer to hear that from a woman rather than hearing her telling me a blatant lie to get rid of me, even if she did it just no to hurt my feelings. By nature, women act like that not as much as to get away from you ASAP as it is in their nature not to make you feel bad, even if they have to lie to make it. Things are not going to change. The best thing that could happen to a young guy facing such a situation is to understand it right away, or to have a coach who will help him to get over it.
It's important to note that if she says she's busy that weekend, but follows up with "but next weekend I'm free", that's a different scenario. If she doesn't try to reschedule, move on. If she tries to reschedule, do that.
The new girl that I've tried to ask out reschedule my first suggestion. This is a new one. Time after time other women just said things like "I'm gonna be busy, sorry", "I'll hang out with old friends that are coming to town" and other bullshit lines without offering second options/ ideas... That's when I normally stop trying and the communications dies. No text, no callings, nothing. BUUUUT the new girl didn't stop there, she later said "But It'll be cool if we can do it next saturday. I'm free that day". Ok, if she actually wants to do it, I'll keep contact and go out with her, no prob 😏
Number 1 happened to me years ago. I was 21 at the time, now 46, and I was interested in this girl, I was friends with. We hung around each other all the time, and I was catching feelings for her. I finally got the nerve to tell her how I felt, and she said she didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. Not soon after that she started dating a guy. I was upset and hurt, so I vented to my uncle. He told me exactly what you mentioned in the video. It's not that she wasn't ready for a relationship, it's that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you! It stung but damn he was right.
Same thing happened to me. But the only difference is I seen her post a guy saying she loves how he eats food. And this girl never post a guy. And I know what u mean it hurt me. So I RUclips these videos to get confirmation because it was still hard to fall back from looking and hitting her up. But I'm done today. I'm gonna delete her number it ain't like she hit me up first anyway
just remember guys, if she is not enthusiastically pursuing you in return, shes not interested, and you NEED to be willing to let it go and move on to someone who WILL do that for you. If she likes you she will make time for you, and she will be happy and excited at the thought of going on a date with you. IF shes only ever talking to you in patterns of being at work or late at night, but can never find time to meet up or when you do meet up shes only half engaged, shes NOT into you.
Yes! O.P. gets it. You should both be equally interested and excited about dating eachother. It's so cringy to see guys not know when to leave a woman alone. Answer: Unless you're in a relationship, it should be instantly after you notice disinterest.
In my humble opinion, this is great advice. Men and women fall into the trap of justifying someone else´s lack of interest. Remember the Golden Rule: would you do that to the person you like? If the answer is no, let them go. This is called self love. Thanks Courtney! I hope that your words of wisdom will help people to let go of their self-sabotaging behaviours.
I would add to the first point… my now girlfriend told me she didn’t want a relationship after 2 months of dating. Her mother told me it was because her last boyfriend cheated on her and she didn’t want to get hurt. I backed off and started seeing each other just once per week and after another 3 month she asked me.
Hard and fast rule I used as a young man when it came to women "Anything that is not "yes" is "no". I have to say it served me well most of the time- of course there will be times when there are extenuating circumstances but if someone is truly interested they are rarely non-comital.
I met this girl in the gym, I was minding my own business and she approached me, we talked a bit, made her laugh and got her number. We chatted a bit on the phone and I asked her out. "I'm gonna be busy for two weeks but I'll let you know" that's what she said. So I decided to ignore her because I didn't really care. She came back to the gym and started flirting with me again. I asked her out again, same response as before I'm very busy! Her attitude reminded me of a girl I met before so I decided to cut all contact with her because it ain't gonna work for me. It feels great that I don't have to deal with this anymore.
Some girls just enjoy "harmless" flirting as they like to call it. She's probably already in a relationship. It's probably a bit stale and flirting gives her affirmation that she's still sexy and desirable but she has no intentions of acting in it because she's a serial monogamous.
You right bro, she was not into you, she is only wants your attention, thats why she approach you again in the gym, ignore her and move on, dont waste your time.
pure ATTENTION SEEKING!! just for an ego boost. how dare she use you for attention, as if you are her toy. This is a disgraceful thing that many women try. But i know it is hard...i mean SHE approached you....most of us would think "yeah she likes me..." same thing happened with me...girl approached me, flirted, asked my number...texted me a tonne, but every time i tried to get her alone to get intimate, it was some pathetic excuse... she kept telling me how much she missed me, but would never meet...what a clown... cut all contact with these girls. give them no attention. they do not exist for us.
It's nice to see a woman use practical common sense in dating. Having an outlook of "Action Speaks Louder Than Words". Watch what people do not what they say. Honesty is not valued by enough people. Thank you Courtney.
But when bIackpiIIers say “actions speak louder than words” we’re told to not look at statistics when it comes to the dafing market, even though jeff bezos once said “data is king”
The friendship kind of makes sense to me. I think our friendship is more valuable than actually getting into a relationship. Maybe I lost interest or something, but its actually rare to have a friendship these days. I'm glad we still have fun all the time together, it wouldn't be the same if it was a relationship.
This is 100% accurate. In all my experiences, I’ve seen the pattern for all these excuses-and after a few years of observing it, I’ve learned to move on. Besides, it’s no longer me missing out. 💯
The one thing that really stands out is if everyone has their phone with them and they dont respond in a normal time, then breaking it off is the best thing. Happned with me with my friends and girls i liked (but didn't like me). They take forever responding to my messages, but when they are with me, they are messeging other people or they are on their phone.
A golden rule is when the girl likes you she helps you. Meaning she will call or text you back, try to keep the convo going if there's awkward silence, or occasionally pay for a meal or cook for you.
@@ultraintuitive8774 It happens where the girl withdraws a bit once she has the guy but there still has to be interest level for her to make an effort.
I've heard the "I've been busy" excuse a lot in past, not just from girls who weren't interested in me but I've heard it from so called friends as well. I learned if someone really wants to be around you or even contact you, whether they are friend or someone who you want to be in a relationship with then they will make time to contact you and make time to see you, no questions asked.
Ya no one is ever that busy where they can’t give u a text back in a day or 2 or set up plans for a day or 2 later. I’m tired of girls giving the excuse they have something else going on, like ur not any more busy then I am and I’m going out of my way to set up plans for a date or the hang out
@@jacobdevries3567 exactly! A lot of people are practically glued to their cell phone, especially girls so the "I've been too busy" excuse doesn't work on me anymore, If they are really into a guy then she will make time for him and if it's a legit reason why she can't hang out then she will also make an attempt to reschedule promptly.
I have had the 1st one a few times in the past from women and it has backfired on me but I learned to move on from it. I wish I would've moved on quicker but I learned from it. The last time I had that, I was actually interested in the girl but she ended up ghosting me. It is what it is. Anything that isn't a Yes, just take it as a No in most cases. Other than that, everything is true from what you said Courtney and a woman will go over the moon to hang out with a person, otherwise it's 1 excuse after another. Most important, actions do speak louder than words
@@independentthought3390 my mom told my dad she was a lesbian when they first met. Good excuse but it didn't work, they've been together for 25 years. There's always the exception but just don't temper your expectations on the exceptions.
The first one happened to me. But the context made it more shocking I guess. We'd had sex a few times, only a few weeks into seeing each other. She, if anything, was arranging future plans even booking stuff. Then I got line 1 all of a sudden. Then she was back with another guy who had hurt her/binned her off. Clearly I was used for sex and or validation. I would have smashed her anyway, she was fit and a fair bit younger than me. But I'm not going to lie it messed with my head for a while as she never told me straight. Vowed never to be a nice guy or make similar mistakes again.
Watching this was definitely helpful. I’ve been bummed out the last couple days because a girl I was talking to for a couple months pulled the same move out of nowhere. She was extremely shy and wanted things to go slow so I just took it easy on her and she came out to say she couldn’t see us doing anything romantic before even trying to see if there’s chemistry. It’s frustrating because I purposefully stayed out of the dating pool until I met her. Even the quiet shy ones aren’t harmless
If you’re talking for 2-3 months that’s plenty of time to see if there’s chemistry. Sad to say but you never had a chance. It sucks bro but it’s the truth and we all deal with it.
Sometimes the “I’m not looking for a relationship” excuse also means “There’s someone else I want a relationship with”. Not all the time but same difference. You lose anyway. Great video Courtney.
sometimes it means ''I hate to be near others'' I have an aunt who has been single for like 40 years, and also two uncles who opted for celibacy near their 20's one is 51 and the other is 76
The reality is this: If a freely single guy and girl are friends, it is almost always because one has an attraction. If both are not attracted then rarely does friendship occur. I can think of all the guys I used to know that had friends that were girls and almost 100 percent of the time it was because the girls were attracted, and the same vice-versa.
@@Kalergi_Plan_Accelerationist Don't totally agree, but I will say that, in my experience, women WILL NOT be friends with a guy they don't find at least slightly physically attractive, although in some cases it is a guy who's out of their league.
I buy this. That's why I'm not even attempting to make any female friends with any of my female coworkers, and I said I was gonna have a more balanced friend group this time around after leaving my previous one, but I am believing in that idea less and less as time goes on.
The way I've always seen it: I only want to be with someone who really wants to be with me; and if I really want to be with someone, I make them my priority and expect them to feel the same about me- so excuses and signs of indifference immediately kill it for me. And I also want her to be with someone that she really wants to be with- so if the interest is not mutual, it's just a waste of time and there's no sense trying to force it. Most of the attraction we feel towards others is what we read into them, but when they manifest signs that contradict what we imagine about them, we ought to heed them. One of the most attractive things is mutual attraction, and if that doesn't exist there's no sense wasting either party's time.
@@user-dy2zy8rd2t Haha...then so be it, because when you tally up the true cost most men pay for very little in return....well...put it this way: I'm the only guy my age I know who is truly happy. Hold out for one that's worth it..or be happy not wasting your life with someone who really doesn't care.
The problem is that men, since childhood, are being told that women don’t always mean what they say. We are told that a woman may say “no”, but she actually may mean “yes”, and men just need to be persistent with them in order to win them. We are taught not to give up right away. So it becomes extremely confusing to men (who themselves are usually pretty direct) what women want, what they say, what they mean, what they imply, what they hint at, etc.
Look at the actions, women might not mean what they say but their actions are easy to see. If she is hot and cold with you but hooks up with a guy in the club. Look at the action. If she blows you off and doesn't reschedule look at the action. Move on and be direct with women.
I have heard it said that you must learn to be able to interpret what has been called the language of "hint". I suspect a lot of this confused communication is the result of people leading unexamined lives of quiet desperation. It seems to me unless and until you actually know who you are and what you want in the way of a relationship then confused people are only likely to make confused choices about other confused people.
that behavior is a deferment of responsibility, of accountability. it's innate in women. girl: but I gave you all the hints! me: I don't speak "hint." girl is pissed. we know she can communicate if she wants to because she sure will remember all of what you said and promised and expect it be done. cure- act like you are deaf and take action based only on action 😎
I was talking to a woman at least three times a week and it felt totally natural but then out of nowhere she kept saying she’s busy with work and almost never hear from her unless I message her first. This video is very refreshing.
Bro, you gotta learn to keep conversations to a minimum and just use the phone for setting dates only. All you guys did was talk and talk and talk, she probably got frustrated that you never asked her out and so she moved on.
The “Im not looking for a relationship” is wild. I would definitely listen. I had it go the other way and we dated for 5 years. Didn’t end good and she left me. So although it’s not always true, it’s definitely a point to make that it’s probably not a good idea. (she was very attracted to me)
Some brutal but necessary advice today, Courtney, one of your best. Sometimes we men can be almost as delusional as the women we pursue. All too often people (men AND women) hear what we WANT to hear......we "listen" with our hearts and not with our minds. Most women are (in their own ways) considerate, and don't want to intentionally hurt someone's feelings. They may even "think" they are being kind by not speaking the unvarnished truth, that we men are there for whatever attention the woman may want for the moment......and NOT a real relationship.
Urgh Stop being delusional that love is rational and logic! Far too many men think "a crush" is equal to relationship! We immediately project a "a crush" into a goal of relationship! Which is just wrong approach! Love is a matter of a heart NOT of a mind! Experience the emotion, feel it and live for that moment and DO NOT project it immediately into a woman by saying I want you for my "wife"! Then work from that on! Men will soon realize that is far better approach for ANY woman!
@@XPuntar your idiotic mindset is why women leave relationships the moment things arent all butterflies and rainbows. Love is of the mind, and realizing that is what makes people choose to love others and stay by them like adults. Men are realizing how illogical womens love is so we arent dealing with you anymore. Women have no staying power without a constant stream of butterflies
The big secret is woman want the attention and to be pursued. They know if they like you enough to date or even sleep with. You have to be direct " I find you attractive and want to date you ( if you are bold you can even say I would like to sleep with you). I know maybe to direct but this does turn on some woman not all. Better to find out without being put in the friend zone. Its much cleaner all around. I went on many bad dates enough to know I was just wasting my time.
A great thumb rule is that action speaks louder than words. A woman may say she finds you interesting, but at the same time she’s got a mio excuses why she can’t go on a date. Time to move on. She may contact you to hear what you are up to. But she only does that because she was bored at the time. She doesn’t really care. Just move on. We live in an age where sadly most people can’t be honest and just SAY IT. Number one reason I don’t date anymore or even go out with women no more. I’m tired of the mind games.
what if she proposes but then she is too busy (Actually busy) I know a girl like that, she is rarely online, she could be off the phone for weeks and then when she is back she sends 50 lines long texting offering apologies and telling what she did in all that time, she asked my number, she asked for us to meet and she asked for us to videochat, Might add we live in different countries, continents.
@@CourtneyRyan why does she say she only sees meas a friend or big brother but when I talk to other girls over her and/or bring other women over to introduce themselves. shes super jealous.
@@rasanchez169 women like attention as long as it's not creepy, even if they don't like the guy. They hate competing for attention. It's not good to let her know that you like her before really knowing that she feels the same about you first. Play your cards close to your chest dude. I would continue having female friends. Have lots of them. Hopefully you'll find a woman that's interested in you without the games. If this "jealous" woman really likes you, it's likely that you would have already known by now. This is from an older guy's point of view.
#3 is so true. Even by telling someone you like them as more than a friend you have already changed the dynamic of the friendship in a way that you can't go back to. Once you know someone likes you you automatically change the way you view them.
Not always true. It all depends on how strong your friendship is, how much you respect and really like the other person for what they bring to the friendship. I've been told by both male and female friends that they'd like to be more, said thx but no... and it hasn't changed how I feel about them one bit. If you really are good friends, mature human beings, it's something you both will laugh about, in the future.
@mrms Hi mrms! Actually i do know what it's like for the person who confesses, bc I'm empathic enough to able to put myself in their shoes. Confessing you'd like to be more than friends puts you in a very vulnerable, precarious position. That's why when friends have asked to be more than, and I didn't want to be, I made sure to be as kind as possible in turning their offer down. I let them know I was extremely flattered and assured them that it only strengthened the love I felt for them. Why? Bc that's how you treat friends. With compassion love and understanding. I'm not saying everyone is like me. There are a lot of mixed up, cruel people in this world. I'm just telling you how I roll.
I "just want to be friends" means she wants your relationship to continue, but only on her terms. She still wants your attention, she still needs your emotional support, she still wants you to continue to do the awesome things you do for her, she still loves it when you go out with her and have fun, she enjoys it when you pay her way, she still loves the validation you bring to her life, and she doesn't want that amazing stuff to stop! So Please please please still be her "friend". You made everything so easy for her, who can blame her wanting it to continue? It also means that despite the feelings you have for her (she already knew this or at the very least suspected it), she doesn't care for you enough to tell you to stop hurting yourself and go away. Have some self respect. Immediately and completely withdraw from her life. Let her feel the vacuum you leave. Let her feel the sting of missing your presence. If she is in any way on the fence she might come around, but she absolutely will NEVER come around if you continue to treat yourself with utter contempt and disrespect.
The one thing you are missing and most women are missing is that women have no conscience, Life to them is all about what makes them feel tingly at the moment and absolutely nothing else. Just know this and you will have a lot more fun in life. Women care only about themselves. And men are supposed to be all about physical satisfaction. Anything other than those two things and you are messed up.
You're assigning YOUR perspective to what she wants and feels. That is simply not true. Many women, I'd venture to say MOST, are perfectly and genuinely fine being friends with a man. They want companionship and trust, shared interests, etc, just like they have with female friends. The problem is, there are very, VERY few men who are actually ok with just being friends with a girl. They just don't understand it, and think it's this horrible thing simply because they see it as rejection. Guys need to realize that women do not want or need sexual relationships like men do, they want genuine connection and friendship. That is NOT disrespecting the man or herself. That is NOT a negative thing. You only see it that way because you can't fathom the woman's perspective.
@@MichelleAntonia I don't think you considered all of the elements of my post and that in this "friendship" the man has developed feelings. I never blamed the girl, I questioned her integrity if once she understands his true intentions, she allows him to continue to suffer. My message was targeted a man with feelings for a women who DOES NOT have feelings for him. Out of self respect, self preservation even, that relationship can no longer be a friendship (his perspective). Perhaps it could be a friendship for her, but if she understands his feelings, and continues the "friendship" anyway...What does that say about her? Our man needs cold hard facts slapped across his face, and he desperately needs a reality check. That is no way for any human to live. Women can have male friends. On this we agree. Men on a mission to become their best selves rarely have close female friends. Men like that look for high quality women who demonstrate reciprocal interest in them. Men living on their purpose understand that friendship is a terrible position from which to create attraction. These men understand that the best relationships develop into amazing friendships that will come to define that relationship, NOT the other way around. Men who have female friends are generally uncertain as to how their masculinity should fit with society and would rather hide their intentions than be honest. Doubt me? reach out to any one of your "friends", tell them you are sooo horny, and ask if they want to come over. They will offer some feelers like "are you sure", or "I thought we were friends," but every one will be right over.
@@MichelleAntonia youre literally justifying keeping a man around as an orbiter for your own selfish gain. coming from a woman, not at all surprising. this only ever works when the man in question wants to be that woman's friend. ive got female friends, we actually are friends and theres no romance between us. a woman who knows a man is interested and she isnt interested in him is completely different dynamic. youre assigning your own perspective while ignoring what was said because youre a coward. it absolutely is disrespecting the man involved because shes breadcrumbing him and wasting his time. women alreday waste a man's time in relationships, this is a pseudo-relationship and yet you want to waste his time there as well. you want all the free boyfriend attention and none of the girlfriend responsibility to his happiness we can fathom the woman's perspective which is why things like this get said, because men need to understand and avoid selfishness.
@@MichelleAntonia Go find a female friend then. Women and men can’t be friends IDGAF what anyone says. I guarantee you that the men that don’t confess feelings for your are just keeping that feeling to themselves.
Though I’m happily married now, years ago I met a woman that said: “I don’t wanna date anyone right now but maybe one day we can date” a month and a half later she had a boyfriend who wasn’t me. She could’ve just told me she wasn’t interested in me romantically and I would’ve been ok with it. Smh.
I always love your straight-to-the-point "talks". You're that "best-friend" or "big sister" we all want. I laughed a lot at this one because these are such obvious things, yet we still love to hang on to that "glimmer of hope". :)
I think my friend Jamie is ghosting me because she's not returning my phone calls obviously so I should just move on to someone else like a trusted friend.
Women don't really say these things to not hurt the guy's feelings. They do it so they don't put themselves in an awkward situation and make themselves feel like the bad girl.
Aren't women only wanting to be around men they find sexually attractive these days even when it comes to emotional support?? I always just assume if the guy is out in public with a woman who looks much better than him, she is using him for money and can leave him at any moment .. Usually they are using the guy for money even if they are just his ''friend''
One of the best videos you've ever posted, Courtney; I have heard most of the "excuses" you described, and at this point in my life, it's wise to listen to what she really says and means, and don't live with wishful thinking; guys, don't allow yourselves to become infatuated or fall in love with a woman until and unless you are sure that she'll reciprocate; if she doesn't, hold your horses and play it cool -- meaning rationalize your emotions and reign them in.
Clear rejection, clear communication for that matter is best! Especially when handling us men.. We communicate with each other this way everyday! No vague hints of soft sugar coating stuff.. It's that confusing! ..I've only got one instance when a woman i've dated few times said 'sorry, I don't feel it' and still to this day I have soooo much respect for her. Ofcourse it hurts but that way it was easy to let go and go on and it was freshly clear for once! Furthermore , thank you Courtney for your wisdom! This is soo much true, only after many years of experience we men can finally translate ' womanize' haha. Keep up the good work!
Excellent points, Courtney. As much as it sucks that MANY people say these things, it's something we indeed just have to live with. I've heard all 6 of them at some point and I've heard most of them A LOT. It made me very upset when I found out what they really meant but it's all been cathartic in the end and it's taught me what Courtney said in the video: Watch what she _does_ not just what she _says._ I understand they're scared and want to avoid confrontation, I've been there too...but understanding the coded language of women is the first step in making peace with them. If you get hit with any of these quotes, fellas...go in peace.
Keep in mind also that if a girl was really hurt she may intentionally push you away by saying she doesn't want a relationship. Watch for signs, if they say it and cut you off or start talking less - sure. But if she gives you a lot of attention despite saying that - stick around, she's just hurt. One day I pushed a guy away saying I didn't want a relationship, turns out I was just scared of commitment following a nasty breakup that happened a while back. The guy showed me very clearly that despite this he wants to stay for me and it gave me a sense of trust in him. We're now engaged.
Happy for you it ended like that. But in either case, the guy should walk away. Most of the time, a girl in this situation needs a psychologist, not a boyfriend.
Thank you for clarifying Courtney. Women who left you on read for days and say they are busy as an excuse simply means she doesn’t like you. Great vid💯
I called a girl out on this once. Because there's no way anyone these days is so busy that they can't spend 30 secs writing a text. Even if you're a neuro surgeon or nasa scientist you can find the time. She got defensive and acted like I was the asshole for calling it out. And it's not just in a dating context, even between friends or other relationship dynamics; the go-to cover for someone not wanting to put in the effort to talk to you at the moment is "sorry, I was busy." And I think it's sad that you're considered more in the wrong for calling it out and breaking the socially accepted "busy" illusion, than for being the jerk who can't have an honest relationship with the people in your life in the first place.
Hi Courtney, just wanted to say, I've watched a number of RUclips channels where women give advice to men about women. I think your channel is the clearest, most direct, no bs channel out there. I appreciate, thanks!
3. I have been Friendzoned before and it hurts. What I find helped me was to stay away from the unrequited love’s social media and if it is too much, cut off all ties.
honestly if you get friend zoned, best to just walk away. if you are really friends evnetually you may low back into a more platonic thing, but if one of you has feelings you CANT stay in that dynamic for the very reason you just said, it hurts and breeds frustration and resentment. Plus always ask yourself, do i really wanna be just friends with them, or would i only be satisfied with somethign romantic.
I've heard many of these excuses before and Courtney is correct, if a girl or guy is interested in you and doesn't want to play games then they will be upfront about their interest if they are confident enough, make time however they can(move mountains to be with you), and stick around if things end up working out. The old saying is still very true, "Watch what they do, not what they say". Great video!
I haven't had success with women, but in my failures I've learned a lot, and the "I've been busy" line is for sure exactly what you said it is. Shes bored and decides to respond. I've met all sorts of people with extremely busy fast paced jobs, to more relaxed desk jobs etc, and no matter how overly busy someone is, if they want you to be part of their life, they'll make time for you. Even if it's just 5 minutes in a day to give you a phone call to tell you how busy and stressed they are, or a text at night saying "sorry was super busy today but wanted to tell you xxxxx before I went to bed". It's something that even though I *know* this is true I still catch myself falling victim to women that are "too busy" so it's for sure a work in progress.
I have been suffering from this behavior for a long time now. The thing it hurts the most is that we know in the back of our minds but we force ourselves into hope
As a disabled man since birth, who has been in two narcissistic and dangerous relationships, I've come to the conclusion after nearly being killed in my first relationship, because my ex, who was 30 years older than me, would weaponize her criminal adult grandson against me to get all of my SSI funds, so she could further support and enable his Machiavellian criminal drug addict lifestyle. So six years ago he split my head open with a large kitchen implement over $15 in gas I used in the car I was making all the payments on. So I left. Her first duty that night wasn't coming to the hospital to see about me, she was at the jail trying to figure out how to raise bail for him. My second very short lived relationship was a reconnection with someone I had loved for 32 years from my own hometown, but we couldn't be together back then. So she was in jail, and she began following me on Facebook. Then she befriended me, and for a while we talked and exchanged letters, etc, and she gaslit me for over a year and a half, future faking with me about changing her life, etc. I was stupid and fell for it. When she was released from jail, she came to see me. That day she was wearing another man's 4 carat wedding ring, and made fun of the dress and silver necklace I bought her, and a week later, blocked me from all social media, and the only times I hear from her is when she's rearrested for drugs and prostitution. At nearly 60, understanding that I obviously have nothing to offer as a man for ANY woman, I quit dating. I take care of myself now.
Dude! She didn’t clear shit… if you have common sense, you should’ve already been aware of all of this, She was just wasting her time and ours. she didn’t need to remind us of any of this.
Basically my wife told me everything you listed here, until I told her "fine then, I'll date someone else". Then she suddenly ran up to me, and she never left (12 years relationship). For short, fellow men, be assertive, set the limits, know what you want, women hate "nice guys" with a passion.
A lot of ppl don't know, women are low-key taught this behavior, they don't even know why they use it. It SEEMS She just did what she felt any woman would do if they aren't feeling it atm and then realized that that's not what she actually wanted. Like a guy wanting to use a one liner he saw on TV, she got her moment to say the things above. But when that high is gone, that's the guy you could spend ur life with walking away rn
I really wish I came across this advice back in my 20s... would have saved a lot of time for me. I was definitely one of those that chose to befriend some of my female friends, hoping that things would change between us, even after finding out that they "weren't looking for a relationship at that time"
Silence is totally obvious that she doesn't want to date you, is so true. Being too honest or direct rubs people the wrong way. I'm a very direct person and people think I'm rude.
Thank you Courtney! You are so right. I prefer when the woman is honest up front. It's a hard rejection but it's better than wasting my time. I had a woman friend who was not interested in a "relationship" but kept calling me to go for coffee(mixed signals). I pay attention to body language.. We all hate being in the friend zone but it's better being alone that living in false hooe.
100% on the 24 hour thing. I adopted this many many years ago. “I’m busy”. We all are honey, so it’s fine, Seeya and good luck….don’t waste your time. Or theirs by trying to keep contacting them.
There are "right people at the wrong time." There were some girls in college that I've regretted not going after but I was barely keeping my head above water with work and school and personal crap and I just let them drift away.
I really like your honest and truthful comments. Asian women does say the same things you have listed out here. What you are doing is really meaningful and valuable to men. Thanks very much Courtney. You are amazing...!
This is going to be super helpful for a lot of men out there. I feel like men don’t seem to understand what a woman is saying because maybe she says it in a “indirect” way or doesn’t know when to take the hint. I’m also guilty of this lol
You're exactly right. Been through that, and if any ladies read this, understand- you're gonna hurt somebody's feelings any way you cut it. Do not- Please- do not offer ANY hope. It just hurts worse. Say get lost and be done with it. Otherwise we may not understand the message.
I really wish i had seen this video when i was 16. 18 years later, I look back on all the times I couldnt read the signs and hope this means good things for the coming generation of young men. Courtney, it would be so cool if you would do a video explaining the process girls go through when they are young and must learn how to reject men. We would benefit from a better understanding of why they are so indirect or even elusive in communication during dating/talking.
Something for the women out there to consider; If you use the 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' line, on people, you have no right to complain about men not being good friends. How many times do you think a guy has to hear that line before he comes to the conclusion that it's not in his best interest to be a good friend to anyone he might be interested in getting involved with at some point?
One unexpected benefit of being married was that whenever a woman said she wanted to be my friend, that was literally what she meant, rather than just being afraid that I might ask her out. Now I am moving between two countries often, which largely carries the same benefit. I'm ok with lots of women not wanting a relationship with me (I'd be in serious trouble if I weren't), but when someone says she wants to be friends I really need her to mean it.
I can respect that. If woman tells me that day one I'm willing to take her up on it. But when she says let's see where this goes. Then excuses not to hangout, left on read, then few weeks down the road in a new relationship. And men get frustrated when fact she could have said that day one let's be friends.
I've had all of those said to me my entire life, i'm immune to it now. best advice i can give is move on and never look back. Continue your grind and keep bettering yourself
Honestly, I've had my heart broken so many times but what really really crushed me was the "I'm not ready to be in a relationship." I'd much rather be given an honest answer and move on with life. A week after she told me that, she was dating another guy and that really crushed me. The only good thing was that when a girl told me she doesn't like me cause she had a boyfriend and that was genuine and honest. I respected it and moved on. Thanks for all the content, Courtney. Just discovered the channel and have been binging it as of late. :)
This video is spot on! Had loads of these knock backs and they are fine. I actually hate it when they over-sugar-coat it to make themselves feel better by saying things like; ‘you’re an amazing guy, some girl is gonna be so lucky to meet you, you’ll make a great boyfriend, loads of girls are going to want you.’ That really sucks.
That is the ultimate insult you can receive from a woman. Live with the shame, the guilt and the anger, contemplate them and make them your friends. Wear those scars with pride as your initiation into manhood, because every man understands the hell you had to go through to hear those words.
i just went through the friendship one actually this weekend and last weekend. Now a long time friendship is gone. It is what it is, just ended the friendship. it's a long story, but yeah. Once the friendship changes to flirting and more romantic it will either be or be over.
@@caliwaves yeah, but thats not going to happened. She wants boyfriend things without being anything romantic and im not getting anything in return. So nope. And the kicker is also, she has a fianancé.. i'll never understand her. But now its gone, finally.
@@caliwaves yeah, i'm just using all of that energy to work on my career instead haha. That's always the best answer, get back to work. If she comes back, then fuck her and ghost her. Lol haha.
4 out of this 6 signs I had to face during dating a girl. We dated for several months and out of nowhere she started saying this things. Thanks for this video, it helps a lot!
@@victornecromancer we dated for a few months and everything was cool. all of a sudden she didnt respond for 1-2 days, told me she is busy for the whole week and never had time. "you are great, but.." and "i dont want a relationship right now" was EXACTLY what she told me then
See things as what they are is the best advice for everything in life. Relationships also change in time, and the best way avoid expectations, coping, and sunken causes is to face things as they are and not what you imagine them to be.
Recently I asked this woman I grew fond of for having the same interests in nerdy stuff. She let me down so easy and sounded worried, I reminded her it was completely fine. Said she's still out looking for what career she wants and doesn't want the stress of a long distance relationship. I was like, wow you didn't have to tell me all that, but that's still wonderful to hear. To make it clear, I'm not holding my breath. I moved on, and so did she. But we're still best friends from that.
Although all of this "nice" talk is superficially supposed to "let men down easily", in reality it is incredibly cruel, because it leaves open the partial window of hope when there is none. Also, there is a way to say something in a sympathetic way but also be very clear and non ambiguous about it. I get the feeling that many women at a deep level enjoy this type of cruelty because it makes them feel more powerful manipulating men and leaving them hanging. Men deserve better.
“I’m not looking for a relationship right now” You don't need to look for it. It's right here! “I’ve been busy” So have I. But it seems like I mastered the art of multitasking. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” I do. Let's ruin our friendship right now! “You’re a great guy but..” I'm also an amazing guy. “I can’t this week, I’m busy” Okay, see you in 8 days. She doesn’t say anything at all RANDOM SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!! But seriously though, the answer to all of them is to say "Okay" and walk away for good. You can't be stuck in the friendzone if you're not really her friend anymore.
Actions speak louder than words. I’ve been rejected, I’ve done some of the rejecting. Some of the women I remained friends, some I didn’t. It’s best to forgive but don’t forget and move forward.
1) "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" 2) "I've been busy" 3) "I don't want to ruin our friendship" 4) "You're a great guy, but..." 5) "I can't this week, I'm really busy" 6) She doesn't say anything at all
This is all absolutely accurate. Just keep in mind guys, some women are not saying these things purely out of kindness. They're saying them because once you're pissed off, she's not sure how violent, vengeful, or nasty you might become. I told a guy I wasn't interested (I think I used the friendship one) and he started spouting off calling me every nasty name in the book. He didn't get violent, but he knew where I worked and it could've gotten ugly.
I literally just said the same thing in another comment. But we still can't deny that some women do keep men in the friendzone/back burner to boost their own ego, as a 7th option or for some benefits.
Yea I understand. My final straw was me texting her happy birthday in the morning and I still haven't received a text back. But she been posting all day. But this was my final test because I was gonna take her to Miami. Well that's out
So TRUE! Have had scary reactions from men even though I was KIND & RESPECTFUL in how I told them I wasn't interested in them romantically. I don't think men realize how much that's a factor in using these "lines".
I believe men and women can “just be friends.” However, when a man and a woman spend a lot of time together one may develop feelings for the other. It is a good rule of thumb to, in that moment, realize that the friendship has ended. We all know in life friends come and go. The relationship has changed, if the romantic feelings are not reciprocated it is best to officially end the friendship. If one ignores this they risk getting hurt when the other gets together with someone else. Don’t wait until this happens. Because the hurt will make you want to end the phony friendship so fast. And on the fill side, do not ever string some one along. Don’t be selfish. Do the descent thing and set them free.
100% accurate. If she’s really interested in you, she’ll text you back in a timely manner. She will want to go out with you it’s as simple as that. Every time I’ve ever met someone and it ends up in a relationship with her, It’s gone that way.
I was never fooled by #1..., one time I had a crush on a girl, so I asked her out. She responded with the classic, "I'm not looking to be in a relationship" line. I immediately knew she wasn't interested me, so I moved on.
As you should king 🤴🏿
If only people could learn to just being straight to point
If we being honest, if another guy who she wanted , came up to her and asked her out . the " I'm not looking for a relationship " wouldn't exist at that moment 😂
That’s because you’re not Chad
Yeah, I got that when I was in my early 20s. I moved on quickly and saw her at my job two weeks later and she mentioned her “boyfriend.”
Clear rejection is better than procrastination. Thanks on behalf of men.
Yeah but that never happens even if you clearly say to them like, look I see our communication is getting low, you are always busy, can we just cut the bs and you tell me that you not interested in me and we move on? All she will say is whaaaat? nooo.. following other bs nonsense.. Girls want attention from as many guys as they can get even from the guys they have no interest in.. Best thing to do is to ditch her and never look back
Yea I don’t understand why they play like they care about our feelings anyway just curve us and keep it moving 😂
It makes things a lot better, than be becoming invested in someone emotionally
I know thats fucking right.
They enjoy the attention
"She is never to busy for you, if she really likes you". I really really really needed to hear that. Thank you
Bro - she'd crawl over broken glass for the guy she does like. the amount of times We've seen women going through all sorts of crazy for the guy they really do like!
Yup.
Look at what women spend most of their time talking about and thinking about.
Relationships (of all kinds) with men are core to their being.
Yes, us guys also expend quite a bit of energy here, but usually also have other stuff going on that's really important to us - career, hobbies, and other interests.
And sure, these days women also have some of that, but it tends to be quite secondary.
And many have NOTHING else going on.
Their primary biological function & imperative is reproduction.
Again, men have this too, but also many other things
which are NOT secondary, but core to our being.
TL;DR
Women are ALL ABOUT getting with men.
They need that connection more than we do,
and will prioritise it over just about anything else.
@@BWater-yq3jx Problem with women these days actually revolves
around social media and even texting. They see too much
of what others have and tend to have a real
bad case of the 'gimme I wants'.
Their expectations have been inflated to a point where
most men have no chance of ever meeting them.
Yes, they do seem driven to find a guy but what they
want is unrealistic and impossible for most guys today.
And now, many guys are giving up because a person
can handle only so many rejections before they
just say screw this.
"busy" is just a safe excuse for them just like most single moms use their kids as an excuse. BC if you question it, they can spin it on you a YOU are the one with the problem
I can attest to that. If they refuse to give you any of their free time, they're stringing you along as an option. Get away from her.
One thing I have learned, if a girl genuinely wants you, she’ll go extreme measures to be with you. Don’t fight for any other type of girls or relationships.
So true.. ;)
Fact .
They're in debt, old, or ugly😊
@@LilHan-xq3pwif it’s only one of the three it’s still might be a good deal. Or even two of the three if you yourself have a couple issues as well.
@@LilHan-xq3pwExactly. They're looking for a walking ATM to provide them with the lifestyle they want.
A girl told me "I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Can we just be friends?" I said yes. Two weeks later we slept together, and we went on to have a four-year relationship. Thing is, I actually was prepared to just be friends, and she sensed my sincerity. I think sometimes women aren't honest with themselves about what they want.
she was basically lying to you that she only wanted friends. seems like it was a test for you, but who the hell knows with these women?!
I think what's happened is she sensed you stopped taking an interest in her and that's what got you into bed with her because she realised you weren't giving her attention. I also agree with your last sentence. Did you ever ask her about it during your relationship?
I had this happen to me as well. As soon as I started going out in dates with other women I found out she was fb stalking them because she didn't want anyone else to have me, but didn't want to commit. We ended up having a 4 year relationship.
Only sometimes??
A majority of the time women are not genuine with themselves and othernpeople. They need dominant men to guide them to the right way
I want to share one CRAZY experience I had last year! I took this girl on a date, and the date went well; we went on a 2nd date. Then she told me that she “wasn’t ready for a relationship,” and she was “extremely introverted,” and couldn’t see herself getting married for at least 10 years, and she wanted to live in a camper and travel around alone. Well, 3 months later-she got engaged and then got married last month. I thought “Yeah, no matter how far-fetched her story may be-it’s all BS.” 🤣
That’s crazy!!
Sounds about right
So, to all my brothers out there-if she EVER makes up an excuse, ALWAYS move on. You’ll find someone well worth your time and efforts if you don’t get hung up on some girl that doesn’t see the good in you. 💯
Wow, you dodged a bullet then honestly. Imagine if you were the guy who married her but your fiancé was on dates with other dudes leading up to marriage and telling them elaborate lies.
sounds just like my case =))) it's all BS my friend
"i don't wanna ruin our friendship" = i don't wanna lose all the benefits from you without obligations, and when they say "you're a great guy, but..." i usualy tell them: you're right! i am a great guy, thats why i deserve better. thank you for reminding me that. bye!
Spot on bro! Manipulative women pull that crap all the time. An honest woman who is actually your friend will be upfront and she know the relationship may suffer after being honest. She won’t lead you on because your welfare matters to her. Manipulative users give excuses so they can continue to benefit from the friendship regardless of what effect it has on your welfare.
Yessir preach brother lol , woman love to friend zone in attempt to thinkin they still get benifits from us men they don’t wanna necessarily throw away , we get nothing out of it but having to help her when needs it or wants attention but you get no 🐱, so yea your right bro on point I can relate I’ve been in that position.
If she says she wants to be friends, see how often she wants to do stuff with you as friends. Friendship has obligations too, and if she is willing to fulfil those then there is plenty of good to come from that. If not, she'll soon show it and you can walk away knowing that if she can't be a good friend to you she'd never have been a good partner.
@@saxbend facts man, I wish more men would see this and understand
I'm not trying to offend. But if you're only doing things for her because you think it will get you some 🐱, then you're not actually her friend to begin with. If you're being nice to her only because you like her, then you're not actually a nice guy. I know sometimes things are complicated, but if you like a girl then you should let her know that up front. If she's not interested, then move on. If you want to be friends then that's up to you, as long you understand that you're NEVER going to be anything more than that.
Great video. Once a famous pimp who’s name was Johny Dollar was asked to give young men love advice. He said: Never love a woman you want, love a woman that wants you and you will be happy. Best advice ever coming from 50 years of pimping. You could write a book around that one sentence. Some quotes are just so powerful.
1. 0:50 “I’m not looking for a relationship right now”
2. 2:40 “I’ve been busy”
3. 4:08 “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
4. 5:51 “You’re a great guy but..”
5. 7:53 “I can’t this week, I’m busy”
6. 9:24 She doesn’t say anything at all
Love.
Thank you
thank you good sir
Curious to know what these would mean from a male to a female. I mean the first one is obvious but I've had so much trouble figuring out what guys mean by certain statements too.
@@-glitch-8195 Same. Exact. Thing.
Funny story about the 24-48 hour rule. I had my first date with my wife in 1999. I had previously had horrible dating luck. I was shy, I was somewhere between insecure and unconfident, I tried too hard when I should have read the signs. Because I was always concerned that I tried too hard, I would use the 3-day rule where I would wait a couple of days before calling.
At the end of our first date I told her, "I'll call you in a few days." Her response was, "Fine. I"ll call you tomorrow." 🤣 We've been together since.
@DeeDee-uw7gu That was 24 years ago, but one of us called the next day, just don't remember who.
@@Paducahrus Now the 24-hour rule would be considered a joke by most youngsters. 48 hours would be considered a little too early as well. So many people have fallen for the myth that you cannot under any circumstance be seen to be 'needy', so you must actively ignore someone you really like to ensure you can keep seeing them.
This arrangement made no sense to you and your wife 25 years ago. It makes a lot of sense now: women, and to a lesser extent men, are bombarded with attention from all corners of the web, and this attention allows them to seek company and indeed intimacy from any number of others on demand, especially if they've got a lot going for them.
The higher up the scale of desirability you go, the worse the effect is. A woman no longer needs to build anything with anyone if she's very attractive: an army of desperate simps plus some more cunning players will keep her occupied for as long as she likes. This leaves men who are interested in real relationships and lasting commitment in an odd place: either you degrade yourself by stooping to the level of others and forming a roster of 'friends with benefits', or you degrade yourself by grovelling.
Is it any wonder many are choosing to do neither? I don't blame them and I've been dating continously since 1996, during which time I've had eleven long-term relationships and more flings than you can count on ten pairs of hands. The dating scene is worse now than it's ever been, and that's not because I'm getting on in years. You'd think women of my age (nearing 40) would be less insecure and more measured, but most that are either so career driven they have no time for a partner or carrying some extra baggage in the form of a couple of kids from a past marriage. If I don't find 'the one', one day I will simply give up. The risk versus reward ratio is bad enough as it is.
@@davesmith826 believe me bro, dating lesbians or any women is no joke. It's fucking hard. I totally understand all my straight guy friends.
@@warrior100girl 😂😂
I was talking to a girl at my last job and we always had great, hilarious conversations. Eventually, I realized that I had started every conversation we ever had. When I stopped initiating conversations, they stopped completely. Luckily for me, she was fired two weeks later. Problem resolved.
Risky move, firing her like that….😂
I just had this realization recently, that I've initiated all interactions. And it's not like I've been a try-hard since we've both been genuinely busy, and it's been chill and fun when we have had opportunities to hangout. But... I don't want it to feel lopsided. So I'm just gonna stay busy and vibe out for a bit. We have upcoming plans to do some activities together with our respective families, so I'm just gonna leave it alone until I feel it out after we've hung out a bit more often.
Great video from Courtney, as always.
The final two sentences made me cackle lol
@@ChanoWilliams read 3% man - Corey Wayne. Good read
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
Important thing to remember! Thy are not sugar coating things to protect YOUR feelings, but to protect THEIR feelings and for them not to feel responsible for anything!
Perfectly said 👍
When a girl says "I don't want to ruin our friendship", I say "Bye", and never contact her again. Life's too short to chase anyone who isn't interested.
happened 2 years ago
Happened 5 years ago
Happened a year ago.
wow you got bot spammed
happened 7 years ago
I remember in college hanging out with a girl for a couple of weeks and had a lot of fun. I finally asked her on an actual date, and her response was the typical, "I don't want to ruin our friendship, let's just be friends." I smiled and politely said thank you, but I have enough friends in my life, and got up and left. She got pissed and we stopped talking until two months later when she found out I was dating someone, then magically she wanted to get together, and go on that "date".
its funny bc when i first started talking to my wife, im like ok so what are you looking for on this dating app, she does "well id like to start as friends and see how things go" i said the exxact same thing about how im not looking for friends im looking to date and im looking to meet up with you within the next few days so if you are interested nows the time to ask me all the "get to know you" stuff. To her credit she was like ok im free saturday but i need you to come to me so i did and weve been together since and made 2 kids. THe "just friends" line is just a shit test and if you dont fall for it is like a cheat code to dating
I hope you declined her. Not because of you, but to finnaly give her wake up call
You showed her that you had what it took to attract women. Thus you became a prize.
She doesn't sound very nice.
I will say that guy friends are better than girl friends as a female because guy friends are less judgmental n less fake.
@@annabanzon313 and women use men For food if a is on a dating app he’s not looking for a Friend
"Right person, wrong time... no such thing- if they were the right person, it would have been the right time." This is gold! I always go by this rule. I've also heard it said another way: "don't water dead plants."
Precisely man, never force this stuff
Nah man, if you're right for each other then waiting is really not a big deal. But it does require adequate communication
@@infernalstan886 yeah you could say so
nope, thesedays 70% of ppl have some sort of trauma which ruins their behavior and healthy thinking, thats why depression, and shortage of psychologists is now at the peak in 100 years. wrong time is very possible because ppl are egoistic and think they dont need to work on themselves, till they mature and find out
@@michaelmich00 good point actually
I'm 63 and I have heard all 6 and feel silly that I still have held out hope embarrassingly recently, thank you because this list is spot on!
I hope your hope is gone,now.
@@user-dy2zy8rd2tBe less pathetic please
yup, I guess she not going to call back.
When I was young and stupid, I used to cling onto those little "glimmer of hope" expressions. Going into business for myself helped me see that everything that's not a clear "Yes" is some form of a "No." People who have no intention of buying your product or service will waste as much of your time as you give them, because they just can't handle the confrontational aspect of saying "No" to you. Even if you don't necessarily write those people off completely, you stop expecting anything; you stop spending any emotional capital on them.
Yeah, it's like you did your part, it's on them now to move things forward if they are actually interested.
When I was very young I was a management trainee in a huge garden center. And the warehouse manager once said these words: "A happy customer is not necessarily a good customer". I have thought a LOT about that statement, but I actually think it sums it up pretty accurate. A happy customer is the one taking all your time talking and getting all your advices for free, and then goes home "sell" that knowledge for their own profit. Do not let anyone consume your time/life for free. ;)
🏆🏆🏆🏆
Call me a pessimist but I've never held onto the glimmer of hope, the way I see it if she says no you'll never have another chance with her, no matter how she says it, which is also why I'm so scared of rejection, the only thing is that people have tried to give me the glimmer of hope (not the girl, other people) so I don't know how to feel about it
I noticed you started out with "young and Stupid".Being in business smarted you up.That taught you all you need to know about relationships--the RISK factor.
I was friendzoned years ago by who I thought was the woman of my life. Guess what? She wasn't the only woman of my life 😄 we tend to cling to what we love (guilty as charged!) as if they were special and one-off, but reality is that there is a lot of amazing people out there waiting to be met. Keep that in mind and moving on will be easier (easier, not easy 😅).
If you can fully move on then it wasn't *true* love
@@infernalstan886 bullshit
Not where I live 😂😂😂 home of the newlywed and home of the newly dead
@@infernalstan886 Somethings aren't meant for us then we got to let it go and stay true to the one the deserves and value your love,care, everything etc etc...
O.p: how were you friendzoned? If you were not "with her" then she shouldn't have meant that much 😐.
And infernalstan...you don't have to obsess bro. That's not love either.
When put this way it makes it so obvious, but when you're in the moment and you're clinging to hope it's difficult to see. Thank you for putting things into perspective, Courtney.
Lol, it's not hope. It's delusion. The first time throws you off because you don't want to believe she is disrespectful.
@@ghost245353
Well, sometimes Hope and Delusion will overlap in a small stretch. Either way, typically you're right, she'll be disrespectful in a way you just didn't expect, but that shows she ain't the person for you
@@thalmoragent9344 Yes, one may hope for something illusionary all the time. A soulmate, a coincidence, a rich, dying relative (my favorite). ;)
@@DexterHaven
I dunno mate...I don't think I would wish for the death of a relative, even if they're rich. What, you don't like your rich relative?
@@thalmoragent9344 I said "illusionary" for a reason, silly. Don't presume.
Actions always speak louder than words. Pay close attention to what they do vs what they tell you. That always seem to produce the more truthful answer(s). And don't be reluctant to walk away. It may be really painful, but it will either attract them to you or save you from even more heartache in the end. In either case, it aint easy to go through any of this. It can make you question at times whether any of this is worth your time, money and effort. Only you can decide that for yourself. Stay focused on your goals and stay strong.
Women: "I wish men would communicate more."
Courtney Ryan: 6 Things Women Say & What It ACTUALLY Means… (Don’t Be Fooled)
EXACTLY !
I think they call that equality...
@@gy2045 they do, because like feminist equality, they only want the parts that benefit them and everything else is the fault of defective men in their eyes
lmao fax
😄
I'm 57 years old. For whatever it's worth, I agree with everything you said. I've heard all 5 excuses, and I learned the hard way. We didn't have You Tube or even the internet to go to for advice.
Combined with our street smarts back then, it’d ve been like shooting fish in a barrel. Lot of long hard lessons learned for sure.
Same here 55 y/o.
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green kinda makes you cold enough to not fall for women nonsense, better yet The way of the Superior Man by David Deida. You live long enough you see a pattern and what to avoid.
@@MightyMonk360 I’m going to read these.
I've heard them all too....Can never figure out why it's so hard for a woman to be honest instead of playing games.
If you express interest, she doesn’t, end the friendship you aren’t friends anymore. Also yes you are completely right women lie so much instead of just being direct. If she wanted you she would accept you, women want relationships even the biggest hoes do. Courtney is spot on on this and should be applauded for telling men how it really is.
One could say you were never friends. You were just on the back burner "just in case".
I can’t stand women sometimes
The only way men and women can remain friends is when both people don't have any feelings for each other in the slightest. Otherwise, men and women can't stay friends. Period!
@@Itfeelsmoist Probably the REAL TRUTH
avoid video games, cursing, cursing people, sin. focus on Jesus. Time is short. love people.
I remember two times when i asked a woman for a date and she simply and frankly told me : "Sorry, but my answer in no : I am not interested to go on a date with you." It was hard on my pride at first, but I when the dust went down, I went back to those two women to thank them for being honest with me, rather than telling me a lie, trying not to make me feel bad.
Of course, being rejected is hard on a guy's pride, but at least, the woman in direct. I definitely prefer to hear that from a woman rather than hearing her telling me a blatant lie to get rid of me, even if she did it just no to hurt my feelings. By nature, women act like that not as much as to get away from you ASAP as it is in their nature not to make you feel bad, even if they have to lie to make it.
Things are not going to change. The best thing that could happen to a young guy facing such a situation is to understand it right away, or to have a coach who will help him to get over it.
Dude, women lie for no reason at all. I heard it described as "lacka-Y". Without the Y chromosome their brains are broken.
It's important to note that if she says she's busy that weekend, but follows up with "but next weekend I'm free", that's a different scenario. If she doesn't try to reschedule, move on. If she tries to reschedule, do that.
yup
She's busy getting railed this weekend you can have your turn next weekend!
The new girl that I've tried to ask out reschedule my first suggestion.
This is a new one. Time after time other women just said things like "I'm gonna be busy, sorry", "I'll hang out with old friends that are coming to town" and other bullshit lines without offering second options/ ideas... That's when I normally stop trying and the communications dies. No text, no callings, nothing.
BUUUUT the new girl didn't stop there, she later said "But It'll be cool if we can do it next saturday. I'm free that day". Ok, if she actually wants to do it, I'll keep contact and go out with her, no prob 😏
Either way move on. At least if she reschedules, shes not lying then but when was she lying before? 🤷
@@Mgtowhonesty shes lying if she reschedules and doesnt turn up or reschedules again
Number 1 happened to me years ago. I was 21 at the time, now 46, and I was interested in this girl, I was friends with. We hung around each other all the time, and I was catching feelings for her. I finally got the nerve to tell her how I felt, and she said she didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment.
Not soon after that she started dating a guy. I was upset and hurt, so I vented to my uncle. He told me exactly what you mentioned in the video. It's not that she wasn't ready for a relationship, it's that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you! It stung but damn he was right.
Same thing happened to me. But the only difference is I seen her post a guy saying she loves how he eats food. And this girl never post a guy. And I know what u mean it hurt me. So I RUclips these videos to get confirmation because it was still hard to fall back from looking and hitting her up. But I'm done today. I'm gonna delete her number it ain't like she hit me up first anyway
One last thing it took me weeks to prepare to tell her how I felt about her. And she hit me with that same shit
@@TRUTHaintHATING you are better off withouth her in your life. Pain will pass.
@@TheGalahad78 💯
@@TRUTHaintHATING Never say what you feel, it cant help you. Offer her a date, and if she says no, tell her to reach out if she changes her mind.
Bottom line is it never matters why someone doesn't like you. Once you sense that a girl doesn't like you, move on. Both you and her are not worth it.
Public comment. Honesty and integrity and respect is the most important thing in life..thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with everyone.
just remember guys, if she is not enthusiastically pursuing you in return, shes not interested, and you NEED to be willing to let it go and move on to someone who WILL do that for you. If she likes you she will make time for you, and she will be happy and excited at the thought of going on a date with you. IF shes only ever talking to you in patterns of being at work or late at night, but can never find time to meet up or when you do meet up shes only half engaged, shes NOT into you.
Yes! O.P. gets it. You should both be equally interested and excited about dating eachother. It's so cringy to see guys not know when to leave a woman alone. Answer: Unless you're in a relationship, it should be instantly after you notice disinterest.
Yeah, if she doesn’t reciprocate, just try to party with her and smash. Meanwhile, keep your options open.
In my humble opinion, this is great advice. Men and women fall into the trap of justifying someone else´s lack of interest. Remember the Golden Rule: would you do that to the person you like? If the answer is no, let them go. This is called self love. Thanks Courtney! I hope that your words of wisdom will help people to let go of their self-sabotaging behaviours.
Exactly
👍👍
I'm learning more and more every day. Actions speak louder than words. If she wants to see you again you'll know.
It's amazing I heard all them before. "You're a great guy, but..." Im busy with work." "My best friend just had a baby. I have to cancel, sorry."
I would add to the first point… my now girlfriend told me she didn’t want a relationship after 2 months of dating. Her mother told me it was because her last boyfriend cheated on her and she didn’t want to get hurt. I backed off and started seeing each other just once per week and after another 3 month she asked me.
I hoe you said-"Get lost".
Hard and fast rule I used as a young man when it came to women "Anything that is not "yes" is "no". I have to say it served me well most of the time- of course there will be times when there are extenuating circumstances but if someone is truly interested they are rarely non-comital.
Yep. If it’s not “yes”, move on for good.
@@no_regerts5176 or if it's maybe, that is same as no.
My sista always said "maybe" when she rly ment no then I called her out on it lol
I met this girl in the gym, I was minding my own business and she approached me, we talked a bit, made her laugh and got her number. We chatted a bit on the phone and I asked her out. "I'm gonna be busy for two weeks but I'll let you know" that's what she said. So I decided to ignore her because I didn't really care. She came back to the gym and started flirting with me again. I asked her out again, same response as before I'm very busy! Her attitude reminded me of a girl I met before so I decided to cut all contact with her because it ain't gonna work for me. It feels great that I don't have to deal with this anymore.
Lol it happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Eventually I just moved on.
They try to steal ur energy it’s witchcraft
Some girls just enjoy "harmless" flirting as they like to call it. She's probably already in a relationship. It's probably a bit stale and flirting gives her affirmation that she's still sexy and desirable but she has no intentions of acting in it because she's a serial monogamous.
You right bro, she was not into you, she is only wants your attention, thats why she approach you again in the gym, ignore her and move on, dont waste your time.
pure ATTENTION SEEKING!! just for an ego boost. how dare she use you for attention, as if you are her toy. This is a disgraceful thing that many women try.
But i know it is hard...i mean SHE approached you....most of us would think "yeah she likes me..."
same thing happened with me...girl approached me, flirted, asked my number...texted me a tonne, but every time i tried to get her alone to get intimate, it was some pathetic excuse... she kept telling me how much she missed me, but would never meet...what a clown...
cut all contact with these girls. give them no attention. they do not exist for us.
It's nice to see a woman use practical common sense in dating. Having an outlook of "Action Speaks Louder Than Words". Watch what people do not what they say. Honesty is not valued by enough people.
Thank you Courtney.
But when bIackpiIIers say “actions speak louder than words” we’re told to not look at statistics when it comes to the dafing market,
even though jeff bezos once said “data is king”
The friendship kind of makes sense to me. I think our friendship is more valuable than actually getting into a relationship. Maybe I lost interest or something, but its actually rare to have a friendship these days. I'm glad we still have fun all the time together, it wouldn't be the same if it was a relationship.
This is 100% accurate. In all my experiences, I’ve seen the pattern for all these excuses-and after a few years of observing it, I’ve learned to move on. Besides, it’s no longer me missing out. 💯
when you know what you are missing out on, you are not missing out at all.
"it's no longer me missing out"...lol..funny how some guys like to pretend they were special and its the woman that lost out.
"If it matters to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
Excellent, well said!
The phrase "The best revenge is a life well lived" comes to mind.
The one thing that really stands out is if everyone has their phone with them and they dont respond in a normal time, then breaking it off is the best thing. Happned with me with my friends and girls i liked (but didn't like me). They take forever responding to my messages, but when they are with me, they are messeging other people or they are on their phone.
A golden rule is when the girl likes you she helps you. Meaning she will call or text you back, try to keep the convo going if there's awkward silence, or occasionally pay for a meal or cook for you.
I agree with this. She will try and connect with you.
Exactly! Take you out, buy you gift, etc. If she isn't making effort, she doesn't view you as high value.
Oh yes, that's true, if she values you, she'll make clear efforts.
Not always. I have had sex with anti social girls where I had to lead all conversations, but it was clear they still liked me at the time
@@ultraintuitive8774 It happens where the girl withdraws a bit once she has the guy but there still has to be interest level for her to make an effort.
I've heard the "I've been busy" excuse a lot in past, not just from girls who weren't interested in me but I've heard it from so called friends as well. I learned if someone really wants to be around you or even contact you, whether they are friend or someone who you want to be in a relationship with then they will make time to contact you and make time to see you, no questions asked.
Ya no one is ever that busy where they can’t give u a text back in a day or 2 or set up plans for a day or 2 later. I’m tired of girls giving the excuse they have something else going on, like ur not any more busy then I am and I’m going out of my way to set up plans for a date or the hang out
💯
@@jacobdevries3567 exactly! A lot of people are practically glued to their cell phone, especially girls so the "I've been too busy" excuse doesn't work on me anymore, If they are really into a guy then she will make time for him and if it's a legit reason why she can't hang out then she will also make an attempt to reschedule promptly.
I have had the 1st one a few times in the past from women and it has backfired on me but I learned to move on from it. I wish I would've moved on quicker but I learned from it. The last time I had that, I was actually interested in the girl but she ended up ghosting me. It is what it is. Anything that isn't a Yes, just take it as a No in most cases. Other than that, everything is true from what you said Courtney and a woman will go over the moon to hang out with a person, otherwise it's 1 excuse after another. Most important, actions do speak louder than words
It's not a No in most cases, it's a definite No. If she's not enthusiastic, don't bother.
@@independentthought3390 my mom told my dad she was a lesbian when they first met. Good excuse but it didn't work, they've been together for 25 years. There's always the exception but just don't temper your expectations on the exceptions.
@@independentthought3390 > If she's not enthusiastic, don't bother.
You dropped this: 👑
The first one happened to me. But the context made it more shocking I guess. We'd had sex a few times, only a few weeks into seeing each other. She, if anything, was arranging future plans even booking stuff. Then I got line 1 all of a sudden. Then she was back with another guy who had hurt her/binned her off. Clearly I was used for sex and or validation. I would have smashed her anyway, she was fit and a fair bit younger than me. But I'm not going to lie it messed with my head for a while as she never told me straight. Vowed never to be a nice guy or make similar mistakes again.
Watching this was definitely helpful. I’ve been bummed out the last couple days because a girl I was talking to for a couple months pulled the same move out of nowhere. She was extremely shy and wanted things to go slow so I just took it easy on her and she came out to say she couldn’t see us doing anything romantic before even trying to see if there’s chemistry. It’s frustrating because I purposefully stayed out of the dating pool until I met her. Even the quiet shy ones aren’t harmless
She wanted to go out to eat for free lmao
You were actually talking for 2 months. Lol. What the hell are you doing. 2 to 3 dates maximum.
You were her foodie call. I dont play with these hoes anymore.
Move on dude and block her on all channels. She is not wearth your time
If you’re talking for 2-3 months that’s plenty of time to see if there’s chemistry. Sad to say but you never had a chance. It sucks bro but it’s the truth and we all deal with it.
Sometimes the “I’m not looking for a relationship” excuse also means “There’s someone else I want a relationship with”. Not all the time but same difference. You lose anyway. Great video Courtney.
sometimes it means ''I hate to be near others'' I have an aunt who has been single for like 40 years, and also two uncles who opted for celibacy near their 20's one is 51 and the other is 76
My Dad used to call me a fool when I did something he didn’t like when I was a kid… but now with Courtney Ryan I’ll never be a fool again! Thank you
The reality is this: If a freely single guy and girl are friends, it is almost always because one has an attraction. If both are not attracted then rarely does friendship occur. I can think of all the guys I used to know that had friends that were girls and almost 100 percent of the time it was because the girls were attracted, and the same vice-versa.
I'm not positive that's true, but I do know that I haven't had any friendships with females since I was in my early 20's.
True, pure platonic friendship is RARE, both of u must prefer same sex or be asexual for it to works.
@@Kalergi_Plan_Accelerationist Don't totally agree, but I will say that, in my experience, women WILL NOT be friends with a guy they don't find at least slightly physically attractive, although in some cases it is a guy who's out of their league.
I buy this. That's why I'm not even attempting to make any female friends with any of my female coworkers, and I said I was gonna have a more balanced friend group this time around after leaving my previous one, but I am believing in that idea less and less as time goes on.
Truth
The way I've always seen it: I only want to be with someone who really wants to be with me; and if I really want to be with someone, I make them my priority and expect them to feel the same about me- so excuses and signs of indifference immediately kill it for me. And I also want her to be with someone that she really wants to be with- so if the interest is not mutual, it's just a waste of time and there's no sense trying to force it. Most of the attraction we feel towards others is what we read into them, but when they manifest signs that contradict what we imagine about them, we ought to heed them. One of the most attractive things is mutual attraction, and if that doesn't exist there's no sense wasting either party's time.
Just STOP after the words "really wants to be with me." You will soon learn nobody wants to be with you.That will kill it. Right THERE.
@@user-dy2zy8rd2t Haha...then so be it, because when you tally up the true cost most men pay for very little in return....well...put it this way: I'm the only guy my age I know who is truly happy. Hold out for one that's worth it..or be happy not wasting your life with someone who really doesn't care.
"I'll be ready in 5 minutes"
- Never gets old.
The problem is that men, since childhood, are being told that women don’t always mean what they say. We are told that a woman may say “no”, but she actually may mean “yes”, and men just need to be persistent with them in order to win them. We are taught not to give up right away. So it becomes extremely confusing to men (who themselves are usually pretty direct) what women want, what they say, what they mean, what they imply, what they hint at, etc.
this is very true. Sometimes is good to pursue her to conquer
Look at the actions, women might not mean what they say but their actions are easy to see.
If she is hot and cold with you but hooks up with a guy in the club. Look at the action.
If she blows you off and doesn't reschedule look at the action.
Move on and be direct with women.
I have heard it said that you must learn to be able to interpret what has been called the language of "hint".
I suspect a lot of this confused communication is the result of people leading unexamined lives of quiet desperation.
It seems to me unless and until you actually know who you are and what you want in the way of a relationship then confused people are only likely to make confused choices about other confused people.
that behavior is a deferment of responsibility, of accountability. it's innate in women.
girl: but I gave you all the hints!
me: I don't speak "hint."
girl is pissed.
we know she can communicate if she wants to because she sure will remember all of what you said and promised and expect it be done.
cure- act like you are deaf and take action based only on action 😎
To make it even worse - men are told that by women, by their moms at first place.
I was talking to a woman at least three times a week and it felt totally natural but then out of nowhere she kept saying she’s busy with work and almost never hear from her unless I message her first. This video is very refreshing.
Bro, you gotta learn to keep conversations to a minimum and just use the phone for setting dates only. All you guys did was talk and talk and talk, she probably got frustrated that you never asked her out and so she moved on.
The “Im not looking for a relationship” is wild. I would definitely listen. I had it go the other way and we dated for 5 years. Didn’t end good and she left me. So although it’s not always true, it’s definitely a point to make that it’s probably not a good idea. (she was very attracted to me)
When women say "I don't want a relationship now" many guys interpret that as "So you're saying there's a chance..." 🤣
Exactly 😂😂😭😭
@@CourtneyRyan women want to have men around in reserve:
m.ruclips.net/video/mxjvrK8qCTc/видео.html
@@CourtneyRyan this free book the book of pook is very good about male and female nature:
m.ruclips.net/video/7UP4Cv7UQSo/видео.html
🤣🤣💀
Bingo. Done that.
Some brutal but necessary advice today, Courtney, one of your best. Sometimes we men can be almost as delusional as the women we pursue. All too often people (men AND women) hear what we WANT to hear......we "listen" with our hearts and not with our minds. Most women are (in their own ways) considerate, and don't want to intentionally hurt someone's feelings. They may even "think" they are being kind by not speaking the unvarnished truth, that we men are there for whatever attention the woman may want for the moment......and NOT a real relationship.
Urgh Stop being delusional that love is rational and logic! Far too many men think "a crush" is equal to relationship!
We immediately project a "a crush" into a goal of relationship! Which is just wrong approach! Love is a matter of a heart NOT of a mind!
Experience the emotion, feel it and live for that moment and DO NOT project it immediately into a woman by saying I want you for my "wife"! Then work from that on! Men will soon realize that is far better approach for ANY woman!
Too many weak men on here too desperate for sex that they would lower their standards. Pathetic lmao.
Men who have no options are usually way more delusional than the top 5% of men who do have options
@@XPuntar your idiotic mindset is why women leave relationships the moment things arent all butterflies and rainbows. Love is of the mind, and realizing that is what makes people choose to love others and stay by them like adults. Men are realizing how illogical womens love is so we arent dealing with you anymore. Women have no staying power without a constant stream of butterflies
The big secret is woman want the attention and to be pursued. They know if they like you enough to date or even sleep with. You have to be direct " I find you attractive and want to date you ( if you are bold you can even say I would like to sleep with you). I know maybe to direct but this does turn on some woman not all. Better to find out without being put in the friend zone. Its much cleaner all around. I went on many bad dates enough to know I was just wasting my time.
A great thumb rule is that action speaks louder than words.
A woman may say she finds you interesting, but at the same time she’s got a mio excuses why she can’t go on a date.
Time to move on. She may contact you to hear what you are up to. But she only does that because she was bored at the time. She doesn’t really care. Just move on.
We live in an age where sadly most people can’t be honest and just SAY IT.
Number one reason I don’t date anymore or even go out with women no more. I’m tired of the mind games.
My guy go Utube; are you a good person by living waters
If the woman is not giving you sex after a few dates, move on. She probably isn't physically into you and sees you only as "a friend".
what if she proposes but then she is too busy (Actually busy) I know a girl like that, she is rarely online, she could be off the phone for weeks and then when she is back she sends 50 lines long texting offering apologies and telling what she did in all that time, she asked my number, she asked for us to meet and she asked for us to videochat, Might add we live in different countries, continents.
@@mcmerry2846It is different of course if in different countries/continents, but if you are both in the same city that is a totally different story!
One of the most clear video from RUclips.... clarity of mind and clarity of words..
Thank you for everything you're doing. I was skeptical at first, but my dating life has dramatically improved since I started watching your videos.
🥹 I’m so glad! Thanks for the kind comment!
@@CourtneyRyan
why does she say she only sees meas a friend or big brother but when I talk to other girls over her and/or bring other women over to introduce themselves. shes super jealous.
@@rasanchez169 I've got the same problem. She gets defensive if I'm talkin' about a woman I'm interested in besides her
@@ichigokurosaki1505 So? Why do you care? Defensive woman is good..... will make her compete.
@@rasanchez169 women like attention as long as it's not creepy, even if they don't like the guy. They hate competing for attention. It's not good to let her know that you like her before really knowing that she feels the same about you first. Play your cards close to your chest dude.
I would continue having female friends. Have lots of them. Hopefully you'll find a woman that's interested in you without the games. If this "jealous" woman really likes you, it's likely that you would have already known by now.
This is from an older guy's point of view.
#3 is so true. Even by telling someone you like them as more than a friend you have already changed the dynamic of the friendship in a way that you can't go back to. Once you know someone likes you you automatically change the way you view them.
Not always true. It all depends on how strong your friendship is, how much you respect and really like the other person for what they bring to the friendship. I've been told by both male and female friends that they'd like to be more, said thx but no... and it hasn't changed how I feel about them one bit. If you really are good friends, mature human beings, it's something you both will laugh about, in the future.
@mrms Hi mrms! Actually i do know what it's like for the person who confesses, bc I'm empathic enough to able to put myself in their shoes. Confessing you'd like to be more than friends puts you in a very vulnerable, precarious position.
That's why when friends have asked to be more than, and I didn't want to be, I made sure to be as kind as possible in turning their offer down. I let them know I was extremely flattered and assured them that it only strengthened the love I felt for them. Why? Bc that's how you treat friends. With compassion love and understanding.
I'm not saying everyone is like me. There are a lot of mixed up, cruel people in this world. I'm just telling you how I roll.
I "just want to be friends" means she wants your relationship to continue, but only on her terms. She still wants your attention, she still needs your emotional support, she still wants you to continue to do the awesome things you do for her, she still loves it when you go out with her and have fun, she enjoys it when you pay her way, she still loves the validation you bring to her life, and she doesn't want that amazing stuff to stop! So Please please please still be her "friend".
You made everything so easy for her, who can blame her wanting it to continue?
It also means that despite the feelings you have for her (she already knew this or at the very least suspected it), she doesn't care for you enough to tell you to stop hurting yourself and go away.
Have some self respect. Immediately and completely withdraw from her life. Let her feel the vacuum you leave. Let her feel the sting of missing your presence. If she is in any way on the fence she might come around, but she absolutely will NEVER come around if you continue to treat yourself with utter contempt and disrespect.
The one thing you are missing and most women are missing is that women have no conscience, Life to them is all about what makes them feel tingly at the moment and absolutely nothing else. Just know this and you will have a lot more fun in life. Women care only about themselves. And men are supposed to be all about physical satisfaction. Anything other than those two things and you are messed up.
You're assigning YOUR perspective to what she wants and feels. That is simply not true. Many women, I'd venture to say MOST, are perfectly and genuinely fine being friends with a man. They want companionship and trust, shared interests, etc, just like they have with female friends. The problem is, there are very, VERY few men who are actually ok with just being friends with a girl. They just don't understand it, and think it's this horrible thing simply because they see it as rejection. Guys need to realize that women do not want or need sexual relationships like men do, they want genuine connection and friendship. That is NOT disrespecting the man or herself. That is NOT a negative thing. You only see it that way because you can't fathom the woman's perspective.
@@MichelleAntonia I don't think you considered all of the elements of my post and that in this "friendship" the man has developed feelings.
I never blamed the girl, I questioned her integrity if once she understands his true intentions, she allows him to continue to suffer.
My message was targeted a man with feelings for a women who DOES NOT have feelings for him. Out of self respect, self preservation even, that relationship can no longer be a friendship (his perspective). Perhaps it could be a friendship for her, but if she understands his feelings, and continues the "friendship" anyway...What does that say about her?
Our man needs cold hard facts slapped across his face, and he desperately needs a reality check.
That is no way for any human to live.
Women can have male friends. On this we agree.
Men on a mission to become their best selves rarely have close female friends. Men like that look for high quality women who demonstrate reciprocal interest in them. Men living on their purpose understand that friendship is a terrible position from which to create attraction. These men understand that the best relationships develop into amazing friendships that will come to define that relationship, NOT the other way around.
Men who have female friends are generally uncertain as to how their masculinity should fit with society and would rather hide their intentions than be honest. Doubt me? reach out to any one of your "friends", tell them you are sooo horny, and ask if they want to come over. They will offer some feelers like "are you sure", or "I thought we were friends," but every one will be right over.
@@MichelleAntonia youre literally justifying keeping a man around as an orbiter for your own selfish gain. coming from a woman, not at all surprising. this only ever works when the man in question wants to be that woman's friend. ive got female friends, we actually are friends and theres no romance between us. a woman who knows a man is interested and she isnt interested in him is completely different dynamic. youre assigning your own perspective while ignoring what was said because youre a coward.
it absolutely is disrespecting the man involved because shes breadcrumbing him and wasting his time. women alreday waste a man's time in relationships, this is a pseudo-relationship and yet you want to waste his time there as well. you want all the free boyfriend attention and none of the girlfriend responsibility to his happiness
we can fathom the woman's perspective which is why things like this get said, because men need to understand and avoid selfishness.
@@MichelleAntonia Go find a female friend then. Women and men can’t be friends IDGAF what anyone says. I guarantee you that the men that don’t confess feelings for your are just keeping that feeling to themselves.
Though I’m happily married now, years ago I met a woman that said: “I don’t wanna date anyone right now but maybe one day we can date” a month and a half later she had a boyfriend who wasn’t me. She could’ve just told me she wasn’t interested in me romantically and I would’ve been ok with it. Smh.
I always love your straight-to-the-point "talks". You're that "best-friend" or "big sister" we all want. I laughed a lot at this one because these are such obvious things, yet we still love to hang on to that "glimmer of hope". :)
Men often try too hard to convince themselves. Let it (her) go!
@@davidsalo8397 yea I'm at that conclusion after a year
I
think my friend Jamie is ghosting me because she's not returning my phone calls obviously so I should just move on to someone else like a trusted friend.
@@aaliyahlewis1961 that's for the best, she clearly doesn't have your on her priority list. There are better friends out there for you, trust me
Women don't really say these things to not hurt the guy's feelings. They do it so they don't put themselves in an awkward situation and make themselves feel like the bad girl.
100%
Aren't women only wanting to be around men they find sexually attractive these days even when it comes to emotional support?? I always just assume if the guy is out in public with a woman who looks much better than him, she is using him for money and can leave him at any moment .. Usually they are using the guy for money even if they are just his ''friend''
allergy to accountability
One of the best videos you've ever posted, Courtney; I have heard most of the "excuses" you described, and at this point in my life, it's wise to listen to what she really says and means, and don't live with wishful thinking; guys, don't allow yourselves to become infatuated or fall in love with a woman until and unless you are sure that she'll reciprocate; if she doesn't, hold your horses and play it cool -- meaning rationalize your emotions and reign them in.
I thought it was reciprocated and when I realised it wasn’t was heartbreaking fr.
@nico saccardo yea I'm dealing with that. I'm gonna delete her number. It's gonna be hard but I just gotta realize she was never gonna be my woman
Clear rejection, clear communication for that matter is best! Especially when handling us men.. We communicate with each other this way everyday! No vague hints of soft sugar coating stuff.. It's that confusing! ..I've only got one instance when a woman i've dated few times said 'sorry, I don't feel it' and still to this day I have soooo much respect for her. Ofcourse it hurts but that way it was easy to let go and go on and it was freshly clear for once! Furthermore , thank you Courtney for your wisdom! This is soo much true, only after many years of experience we men can finally translate ' womanize' haha. Keep up the good work!
Excellent points, Courtney.
As much as it sucks that MANY people say these things, it's something we indeed just have to live with. I've heard all 6 of them at some point and I've heard most of them A LOT. It made me very upset when I found out what they really meant but it's all been cathartic in the end and it's taught me what Courtney said in the video: Watch what she _does_ not just what she _says._ I understand they're scared and want to avoid confrontation, I've been there too...but understanding the coded language of women is the first step in making peace with them.
If you get hit with any of these quotes, fellas...go in peace.
Keep in mind also that if a girl was really hurt she may intentionally push you away by saying she doesn't want a relationship. Watch for signs, if they say it and cut you off or start talking less - sure. But if she gives you a lot of attention despite saying that - stick around, she's just hurt. One day I pushed a guy away saying I didn't want a relationship, turns out I was just scared of commitment following a nasty breakup that happened a while back. The guy showed me very clearly that despite this he wants to stay for me and it gave me a sense of trust in him. We're now engaged.
Happy for you it ended like that. But in either case, the guy should walk away. Most of the time, a girl in this situation needs a psychologist, not a boyfriend.
Thank you for clarifying Courtney. Women who left you on read for days and say they are busy as an excuse simply means she doesn’t like you. Great vid💯
I called a girl out on this once. Because there's no way anyone these days is so busy that they can't spend 30 secs writing a text. Even if you're a neuro surgeon or nasa scientist you can find the time. She got defensive and acted like I was the asshole for calling it out. And it's not just in a dating context, even between friends or other relationship dynamics; the go-to cover for someone not wanting to put in the effort to talk to you at the moment is "sorry, I was busy." And I think it's sad that you're considered more in the wrong for calling it out and breaking the socially accepted "busy" illusion, than for being the jerk who can't have an honest relationship with the people in your life in the first place.
Hi Courtney, just wanted to say, I've watched a number of RUclips channels where women give advice to men about women. I think your channel is the clearest, most direct, no bs channel out there. I appreciate, thanks!
3. I have been Friendzoned before and it hurts. What I find helped me was to stay away from the unrequited love’s social media and if it is too much, cut off all ties.
honestly if you get friend zoned, best to just walk away. if you are really friends evnetually you may low back into a more platonic thing, but if one of you has feelings you CANT stay in that dynamic for the very reason you just said, it hurts and breeds frustration and resentment. Plus always ask yourself, do i really wanna be just friends with them, or would i only be satisfied with somethign romantic.
@@jlogan2228 excellent poin
I've heard many of these excuses before and Courtney is correct, if a girl or guy is interested in you and doesn't want to play games then they will be upfront about their interest if they are confident enough, make time however they can(move mountains to be with you), and stick around if things end up working out. The old saying is still very true, "Watch what they do, not what they say".
Great video!
I haven't had success with women, but in my failures I've learned a lot, and the "I've been busy" line is for sure exactly what you said it is. Shes bored and decides to respond. I've met all sorts of people with extremely busy fast paced jobs, to more relaxed desk jobs etc, and no matter how overly busy someone is, if they want you to be part of their life, they'll make time for you. Even if it's just 5 minutes in a day to give you a phone call to tell you how busy and stressed they are, or a text at night saying "sorry was super busy today but wanted to tell you xxxxx before I went to bed".
It's something that even though I *know* this is true I still catch myself falling victim to women that are "too busy" so it's for sure a work in progress.
Courtney, my honest appreciation for all the good work you do. You are like a sister I wish always had. Thanks.
I have been suffering from this behavior for a long time now. The thing it hurts the most is that we know in the back of our minds but we force ourselves into hope
As a disabled man since birth, who has been in two narcissistic and dangerous relationships, I've come to the conclusion after nearly being killed in my first relationship, because my ex, who was 30 years older than me, would weaponize her criminal adult grandson against me to get all of my SSI funds, so she could further support and enable his Machiavellian criminal drug addict lifestyle. So six years ago he split my head open with a large kitchen implement over $15 in gas I used in the car I was making all the payments on. So I left. Her first duty that night wasn't coming to the hospital to see about me, she was at the jail trying to figure out how to raise bail for him.
My second very short lived relationship was a reconnection with someone I had loved for 32 years from my own hometown, but we couldn't be together back then. So she was in jail, and she began following me on Facebook. Then she befriended me, and for a while we talked and exchanged letters, etc, and she gaslit me for over a year and a half, future faking with me about changing her life, etc. I was stupid and fell for it. When she was released from jail, she came to see me. That day she was wearing another man's 4 carat wedding ring, and made fun of the dress and silver necklace I bought her, and a week later, blocked me from all social media, and the only times I hear from her is when she's rearrested for drugs and prostitution.
At nearly 60, understanding that I obviously have nothing to offer as a man for ANY woman, I quit dating. I take care of myself now.
I must confess, you really clear the air on this issue. Been a fan of your content for a year now. Thanks Courtney!
Dude! She didn’t clear shit… if you have common sense, you should’ve already been aware of all of this, She was just wasting her time and ours. she didn’t need to remind us of any of this.
Basically my wife told me everything you listed here, until I told her "fine then, I'll date someone else".
Then she suddenly ran up to me, and she never left (12 years relationship).
For short, fellow men, be assertive, set the limits, know what you want, women hate "nice guys" with a passion.
ehh
I can see this happening I told a girl that was playing with me that ok I have enough friends I don't need another one. girl switched up so damn fast!
A lot of ppl don't know, women are low-key taught this behavior, they don't even know why they use it.
It SEEMS She just did what she felt any woman would do if they aren't feeling it atm and then realized that that's not what she actually wanted.
Like a guy wanting to use a one liner he saw on TV, she got her moment to say the things above. But when that high is gone, that's the guy you could spend ur life with walking away rn
I really wish I came across this advice back in my 20s... would have saved a lot of time for me. I was definitely one of those that chose to befriend some of my female friends, hoping that things would change between us, even after finding out that they "weren't looking for a relationship at that time"
Silence is totally obvious that she doesn't want to date you, is so true. Being too honest or direct rubs people the wrong way. I'm a very direct person and people think I'm rude.
Thank you Courtney! You are so right. I prefer when the woman is honest up front. It's a hard rejection but it's better than wasting my time. I had a woman friend who was not interested in a "relationship" but kept calling me to go for coffee(mixed signals). I pay attention to body language.. We all hate being in the friend zone but it's better being alone that living in false hooe.
100% on the 24 hour thing. I adopted this many many years ago. “I’m busy”. We all are honey, so it’s fine, Seeya and good luck….don’t waste your time. Or theirs by trying to keep contacting them.
There are "right people at the wrong time." There were some girls in college that I've regretted not going after but I was barely keeping my head above water with work and school and personal crap and I just let them drift away.
No decent wman "drifts away." You disnt miss out on anything
I really like your honest and truthful comments. Asian women does say the same things you have listed out here. What you are doing is really meaningful and valuable to men. Thanks very much Courtney. You are amazing...!
This is going to be super helpful for a lot of men out there. I feel like men don’t seem to understand what a woman is saying because maybe she says it in a “indirect” way or doesn’t know when to take the hint. I’m also guilty of this lol
That’s my hope! It can be tough!
What happens if she consistently sends mixed signals 🤔
You're exactly right. Been through that, and if any ladies read this, understand- you're gonna hurt somebody's feelings any way you cut it. Do not- Please- do not offer ANY hope. It just hurts worse. Say get lost and be done with it. Otherwise we may not understand the message.
@@darioschaeffer5513 I treat it as playing games
@@Cee_Eff Yes and I slammed the door so hard in her face that it left her impression on it lmfaoo
I really wish i had seen this video when i was 16. 18 years later, I look back on all the times I couldnt read the signs and hope this means good things for the coming generation of young men.
Courtney, it would be so cool if you would do a video explaining the process girls go through when they are young and must learn how to reject men. We would benefit from a better understanding of why they are so indirect or even elusive in communication during dating/talking.
Something for the women out there to consider; If you use the 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' line, on people, you have no right to complain about men not being good friends. How many times do you think a guy has to hear that line before he comes to the conclusion that it's not in his best interest to be a good friend to anyone he might be interested in getting involved with at some point?
One unexpected benefit of being married was that whenever a woman said she wanted to be my friend, that was literally what she meant, rather than just being afraid that I might ask her out. Now I am moving between two countries often, which largely carries the same benefit. I'm ok with lots of women not wanting a relationship with me (I'd be in serious trouble if I weren't), but when someone says she wants to be friends I really need her to mean it.
I can respect that. If woman tells me that day one I'm willing to take her up on it. But when she says let's see where this goes. Then excuses not to hangout, left on read, then few weeks down the road in a new relationship. And men get frustrated when fact she could have said that day one let's be friends.
I've had all of those said to me my entire life, i'm immune to it now. best advice i can give is move on and never look back. Continue your grind and keep bettering yourself
Honestly, I've had my heart broken so many times but what really really crushed me was the "I'm not ready to be in a relationship." I'd much rather be given an honest answer and move on with life. A week after she told me that, she was dating another guy and that really crushed me.
The only good thing was that when a girl told me she doesn't like me cause she had a boyfriend and that was genuine and honest. I respected it and moved on.
Thanks for all the content, Courtney. Just discovered the channel and have been binging it as of late. :)
This video is spot on! Had loads of these knock backs and they are fine. I actually hate it when they over-sugar-coat it to make themselves feel better by saying things like; ‘you’re an amazing guy, some girl is gonna be so lucky to meet you, you’ll make a great boyfriend, loads of girls are going to want you.’ That really sucks.
The men these sayings applies to, she would just agree to date them if she is single...
That is the ultimate insult you can receive from a woman. Live with the shame, the guilt and the anger, contemplate them and make them your friends. Wear those scars with pride as your initiation into manhood, because every man understands the hell you had to go through to hear those words.
i just went through the friendship one actually this weekend and last weekend. Now a long time friendship is gone. It is what it is, just ended the friendship. it's a long story, but yeah. Once the friendship changes to flirting and more romantic it will either be or be over.
Words!
Take that but add to it that they still want to be around you. Leo and Gigi type situation.
@@caliwaves yeah, but thats not going to happened. She wants boyfriend things without being anything romantic and im not getting anything in return. So nope. And the kicker is also, she has a fianancé.. i'll never understand her. But now its gone, finally.
Yep, I get it. I'm in the other. Working through it.
@@caliwaves yeah, i'm just using all of that energy to work on my career instead haha. That's always the best answer, get back to work. If she comes back, then fuck her and ghost her. Lol haha.
4 out of this 6 signs I had to face during dating a girl. We dated for several months and out of nowhere she started saying this things. Thanks for this video, it helps a lot!
You were dating and yet she still gave you these signs? Just asking cuz i maybe i'm in a similar situation
It means she found someone else, bros.. Move on. Both of you.
@@victornecromancer we dated for a few months and everything was cool. all of a sudden she didnt respond for 1-2 days, told me she is busy for the whole week and never had time. "you are great, but.." and "i dont want a relationship right now" was EXACTLY what she told me then
@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier yeah i did. nevertheless it still hurts
@@tomyosh1620 yeah i agree with John Mahmud. It means we must improve ourselves bro 🤝
See things as what they are is the best advice for everything in life. Relationships also change in time, and the best way avoid expectations, coping, and sunken causes is to face things as they are and not what you imagine them to be.
Recently I asked this woman I grew fond of for having the same interests in nerdy stuff. She let me down so easy and sounded worried, I reminded her it was completely fine. Said she's still out looking for what career she wants and doesn't want the stress of a long distance relationship. I was like, wow you didn't have to tell me all that, but that's still wonderful to hear. To make it clear, I'm not holding my breath. I moved on, and so did she. But we're still best friends from that.
Although all of this "nice" talk is superficially supposed to "let men down easily", in reality it is incredibly cruel, because it leaves open the partial window of hope when there is none. Also, there is a way to say something in a sympathetic way but also be very clear and non ambiguous about it. I get the feeling that many women at a deep level enjoy this type of cruelty because it makes them feel more powerful manipulating men and leaving them hanging. Men deserve better.
Great point
“I’m not looking for a relationship right now”
You don't need to look for it. It's right here!
“I’ve been busy”
So have I. But it seems like I mastered the art of multitasking.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship”
I do. Let's ruin our friendship right now!
“You’re a great guy but..”
I'm also an amazing guy.
“I can’t this week, I’m busy”
Okay, see you in 8 days.
She doesn’t say anything at all
RANDOM SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But seriously though, the answer to all of them is to say "Okay" and walk away for good. You can't be stuck in the friendzone if you're not really her friend anymore.
Actions speak louder than words. I’ve been rejected, I’ve done some of the rejecting. Some of the women I remained friends, some I didn’t. It’s best to forgive but don’t forget and move forward.
1) "I'm not looking for a relationship right now"
2) "I've been busy"
3) "I don't want to ruin our friendship"
4) "You're a great guy, but..."
5) "I can't this week, I'm really busy"
6) She doesn't say anything at all
Fun thing is, that [6] essentially summarizes all the preceding points.
This is all absolutely accurate. Just keep in mind guys, some women are not saying these things purely out of kindness. They're saying them because once you're pissed off, she's not sure how violent, vengeful, or nasty you might become. I told a guy I wasn't interested (I think I used the friendship one) and he started spouting off calling me every nasty name in the book. He didn't get violent, but he knew where I worked and it could've gotten ugly.
I literally just said the same thing in another comment.
But we still can't deny that some women do keep men in the friendzone/back burner to boost their own ego, as a 7th option or for some benefits.
@@danlightened yea I remember u saying that
Yea I understand. My final straw was me texting her happy birthday in the morning and I still haven't received a text back. But she been posting all day. But this was my final test because I was gonna take her to Miami. Well that's out
So TRUE! Have had scary reactions from men even though I was KIND & RESPECTFUL in how I told them I wasn't interested in them romantically. I don't think men realize how much that's a factor in using these "lines".
I believe men and women can “just be friends.” However, when a man and a woman spend a lot of time together one may develop feelings for the other. It is a good rule of thumb to, in that moment, realize that the friendship has ended. We all know in life friends come and go. The relationship has changed, if the romantic feelings are not reciprocated it is best to officially end the friendship. If one ignores this they risk getting hurt when the other gets together with someone else. Don’t wait until this happens. Because the hurt will make you want to end the phony friendship so fast. And on the fill side, do not ever string some one along. Don’t be selfish. Do the descent thing and set them free.
100% accurate. If she’s really interested in you, she’ll text you back in a timely manner. She will want to go out with you it’s as simple as that. Every time I’ve ever met someone and it ends up in a relationship with her, It’s gone that way.