7 Things Women Do That Are GREEN Flags (She's A Unicorn)
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
- CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
BUSINESS INQUIRES: courtneycristineryan@gmail.com
AMAZON STOREFRONT: www.amazon.com...
I make a small commission on items purchased with my link. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it!
![Shenseea - Dating Szn (Options) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eUePmZFIXUg/mqdefault.jpg)
0:56 - Shows gratitude & says thank you
2:21 - She puts in equal effort
3:22 - Open & honest communication
4:22 - Speaks positively about others
6:30 - Self-respect & development
7:56 - Maintains healthy relationships
10:20 - Taking responsibility
100% Agreed with all points courtney and they're indeed a unicorn lol (but they're out there!)
@Eli Ubaldo Scrolled the bar timeline frames for when she puts up the titles, typed it out. Watched the video then edited with my thoughts
@Eli Ubaldo Something the ladies often say. Lol
If she treats the guys she is not attracted to gracefully and kindly that is a green flag. For example if a guy she is not attracted to approaches her and the guy is respectful and nice, she is kind towards him and doesn't knock his confidence, but declines gracefully.
Chameleon behavior, not unicorn 😂
Thanks Leon!
Six years into my marriage and my husband and I still thank each other for everything, buying the lunch that day, taking out the trash, or doing the laundry. I think it's really important to say Thank You.
Sounds about made up
Does he thank you for cooking him meals everyday?
My bf and i still say thank you every day to each other as well and i believe thats very important! ❤
@@ensulalachance8353 no you dont
@@nonamewillbegiven7228 yes we do and you dont know more than me about my relationship
A green flag that gets so overlooked is sticking with your partner during the low times whether it was a job loss or going through medical episodes.
My fiancée drove me to the ER when I had asthma and through COVID. She also bought me dinner when I was losing a job or had no money. I’m better now and I am not where I’m at financial wise but I want to make sure she deserves to be spoiled by me for putting up of what I went through.
This is so true and you are a lucky man for that. Finding a woman like that is very hard nowadays
It's rare to find a woman who sticks with a man during hard times. It's like he's a tree and she's a bird making a nest. When the tree falls, the bird can't hold it up, even if it provided safety and shelter for many years.
Dear God if she only was supportive dueing.the low times instead of threatening to leave.
She left and she's broke. My income nearly doubled in 6 months. She has redeemable qualities but sadly she lost out on a lot.
This *100
👍
Absolutely. If a woman comes from a dysfunctional family and is capable of overcome those relationships. She's obviously a very strong and resilient person.
You described my wife to a "T". But, she actually had 8 green flags. My cat that I've had for almost 15 years has never, ever left my lap for anyone else's. She also never chose anyone's lap over mine. I had long term relationships and family that came by my house a lot. One day I was sitting in a recliner and my Susan was sitting on the couch. Miss Kitty just got up and went and sat on Susan's lap. I was in absolute shock! I took that as a sign that Miss Kitty approved of Susan. We just had our 10th anniversary a couple of months ago.
A 🐈 or 🐕 are never wrong. If my dog growled at a girl, I dumped her. Jax sat next to my current wife and put his big head on her lap. July we'll be married 41 years.
@@BPS10-Ga That is awesome!
If you have a unicorn.... why you here?
@The Lizard King I really don't know. For some reason the video showed up on my feed and I watched it out of curiosity.
I used to own a dog that was 100% accurate when assessing someone.
If she didn't like you, then you're a bad person. Period.
I come from an Islamic culture but was raised here in America so dating and meeting men has always been the most difficult aspect of my life. Recently, I went out with a man after having not dated or had romance of any kind for 4 years (my preference based on my culture). This man brought me out of my comfort zone with his kindness and gentleness towards me. When we went out on our first date, I kept saying “thank you” so much so that he told me he was going to get me a shirt that said “thank you” on it. He then proceeded to tell me that he was highly interested in me because I was feminine and kind and because I wasn’t a tomboy or masculine. At first I was confused but even myself, as a woman have observed that a lot of women act very masculine nowadays. After a couple of dates I proceeded to make him lunches (he works across the street from my job) and bring them to him. In my culture, this is normal behavior from women, in fact the bare minimum. It’s crazy how backwards it is now and luckily gives us feminine women the upper hand but I tend to feel deeply for the men that just want a normal feminine woman that isn’t going to spar with them 24/7. Unfortunately this kind of woman is a rarity being that even other women look down upon women like this.
Brown girls >
Annnnnnnd..... I'm moving to a nation with an Islamic culture!
Ooof. This makes me want to find a Muslim woman almost, even though I’m a Christian 😵
Ali 1997 beautiful comments
Hope things work out for you with this guy. If they don't it won't be from lack of effort on your part. Any girl brings a guy home made food is to be taken SERIOUSLY. GF credentials on show!
The world needs more women like Courtney.
Yes! And we would all live happily ever after.
I'll add one - she has creative hobbies. When I met my cute, goofy semi-goth girl who is now my wife she surprised me early on with her passion for sewing and dressmaking as well as her cooking - which she used to present her "credentials" as GF material early on. She always had a project going on like making outfits for herself and friends as well as studying as a PT student. She was a busy bee, plus working towards being a professional carer of course. Plus as said, communication. We could just talk about anything really. She was inquisitive and read widely, then we'd talk about that.
It saddens me that these green flags are so sought after when I've given them to all the wrong men, it leads me to believe I'm being foolish or being *too* giving which leads to being taken advantage of. We're ruining ourselves with the wrong people only to hide our gifts so they aren't exploited anymore, and then the right ones get the worst version of us 😟 This video made me feel very valued though, that maybe it is safe to be myself one day with the right fella - thank you so much for that.
You’re a gem, Shannon!
I've seen many lady friends show appreciation to the wrong guys. Like me and my relationship to women, sadly then we come out with trust issues and afraid.
Shannon, please let me encourage you to know that more important is to learn from mistakes of the past. Don't let those moments keep you weighed down 👍
This explains how i feel thank you for writing this
Shannon, be yourself regardless of the world at large! Love is always a risk so just enjoy the ride in baby steps with a simple reminder; trust but verify. Those who would be good to you become obvious to you in time. Those who you have learned up this point are NOT good for you, stop the foolishness now that you know.
That's the problem exactly. Whenever we show all or many of these green flags to men, they don't seem to appreciate them. So at some point, why bother?
Omg thank you! Currently getting out of a 14 year toxic marriage, i am hyper focused on red flags that i couldn't even identify a green flag! But this helpful and a reminder that not all women are narcissistic....again, thank you!❤
Courtney, these are some other green flags in girls, according to my experience:
She likes kids.
She is kind to people in general.
She actually verbalizes what she likes about you.
She cares about the wellbeing of your friends and family.
She enjoys making plans with you.
She has at least one passion and follows it.
She doesn't enjoy complaining overall.
She has at least one friend who truly loves her.
She acknolowdges your effort and she motivates you.
She is reasonable with her money (and yours, potentially).
She verbalizes clearly and carefully how she feels about you and the relationship between you two.
She invites you to be part of her activities and lets you invite her to yours, never being pushy.
She cares about the way she looks, in a healthy way.
She has a respectful attitude towards knowledge.
She supports you when you have a setback in your life.
She talks to you about her dreams openly.
She throws self on back with feet in the air opening self up wide. That's my fave green flag.
What dream world do you live in?
Where can I meet this rare gem of a person? She sounds like a wonderful sunshine to be around. 😊
It's a shame kindness is the low % of people at least in America. 😕
That's a really nice list 🙂
@@jenniferklopman2557 Thank you :)
When I had a disagreement with a girl I was dating, instead of apologizing, she just made more and more crazier arguments and she would just say, ‘if that’s the type of girl you’re looking for, you should find someone else’. And my bar was pretty low, I just wanted someone to show me appreciation when I pay for dinner
LMAO! Thats what they do! She is entitled, we are men, we are NOT entitled! Life will be great when the female robots get here! Women will become redundant!
Narcissism is on the rise bro... I'm married, but if i had to date these days, I'd import a foreign chick.
@@mibi2999 that's true about the narcissism, but at least, narcissism is one of the few categories that you can truthfully say they're all the same, which means you can learn to spot them before too much damage is done.
One of the best truths I ever read was about how the sexes argue. In general, men argue to establish objective fact(s), while women argue to maintain their reputation. Thus, the "crazy" arguments with women are because men and women aren't working toward the same objective.
@@june012006 yeah, my sister in law is a big narcissist. It took me about three hours of interacting with her to figure that out. 😂
Even if these videos get less views, keep making them. It's healthy for the mind to keep a positive attitude. And a positive attitude comes with positive videos, so thank you.
shows you how satanic our reality is when chaos and drama do better in controversy
@@standardofexcellence Not at all! Dude, its basic psychology! Our ancestors rarely died when the sun was up, the weather was nice and the food plentiful! We died do to danger and starvation! So our natural, inherent tendency is towards negative bias! it keeps us alive! Or atleast it did!. Now that our dangers are different and our survival is mostly assured, negativity is a bad adaption! But its still exists!
@@inconnu4961nailed it 👍
saying "sorry" is NOT owning up to ones mistake; it's fixing (or at least honestly trying to fix) whatever you messed up and prioritizing ways not to do something similar again;
actions, not words
I once sent an e-mail to my friends online about a virus warning. A lot of them replied back and thanked me for it, but one, when she replied, seemed very grateful since she said it shows that I'm a kind and caring person. I couldn't help but be thankful for that feedback.
I met a woman that has all of these qualities and values that I have but she isn’t into me to start a relationship but wants to only be friends. After leaving an abusing relationship she is such a breath of fresh air and now I’m afraid the bar is set too high for other women I will meet. At least she is a good friend. Thank you for reviewing the positives
Green flags.
Morals. Such a rare gem to find. Not just saying them but sticking to them!
Learned from past mistakes and has proven it by their actions. Whatever mistakes they are, we are all flawed beings.
Has realistic expectations.
Treats people with respect (doesn't look down on people)
Takes care of herself physically.
Huge green flag, kindness.
Takes interest in others.
Being just an overall genuine person.
Dresses modestly. That's so sexy when a woman is confident enough that she doesn't have to show as much skin as possible.
All these are green flags imo.
I agree on all counts
Agreed.
As a guy who grew up with parents who were nowhere to be found, just hearing a woman say even ONE positive thing e.g to her friends: "He is a gentleman ... not every man is" i.e. hitting me with my "love language" of "words of affirmation" is all it took.
Courtney, the fact that you write down ideas as notes on your phone is huge. As a Digital Photoshop Artist and Color Expert, when I get an idea I immediately write it down, and cross it off when I am finished with that task. If you keep doing this and truly take to heart how critical this is to success, nothing can stop you. Bravo Courtney! Heck, you are already a huge success, what I am talking about.
You’re so sweet. Thank you 🥹🤍
@@barongerhardt I would do that but my handwriting is so bad that it would be counterproductive.
Saying "thank you" and being appreciative is so important. I can not stress how important it is that women appreciate you. When I wasn't appreciated it literally ruined my marriage and ultimately I would say that was what lead to the divorce.
She blamed me for her problems (which I wasn't) and didn't appreciate anything I was doing for her. She did appreciate me before we were married and things were great but she just got sorta different and she scapegoated me for her mistakes and she didn't appreciate anything I did and ultimately that lead to me withdrawing and pushing her away too.
Her response to my withdrawal was cheating and that was the final end of it and it was over. But frankly the root of the end was that she didn't appreciate the little things or the big things that I did. She just felt like she was entitled to it and she blamed me for her own stuff and it ultimately killed the marriage.
Look I know that I am not perfect but I tried. Being appreciative is the bare minimum. It's acknowledging the worth of the person that you are appreciating. Even if you are not perfect you still have value. Not being appreciated is denying that value. Who wants to be with someone who makes them feel worthless?
Heck I have been single since my divorce and I have no desire to go back into the dating pool. Probably because I feel more appreciated by myself than I did with my exwife. Women just appreciating a guy have a profound impact on the guy, but them not appreciating the guy has just as profound of a negative impact too.
So I guess my advice to men is to make sure that the woman you give your time to appreciates it. And to the women I would suggest that you keep in mind that men need appreciation. We're only human.
I already appreciate my girl but after watching this video I appreciate her even more now. She’s accountable and responsible (which blew me away), very self respecting and grateful and she’s also very rational, reasonable and logical. I found a frickin unicorn with wings.
Courtney's a pretty girl, but her attractiveness goes through the roof when you listen to her talk. She gets it. These videos are as informative for girls as they are for guys. If I had one complaint about the girls I've dated recently, it's that they don't pay attention to what I'm doing with them in mind. She comes to my place for dinner, and when she walks in, I have old school slow jams playing, I take her into my arms and start dancing, setting a romantic mood...and she complains about the traffic on the drive over. So much for trying to set a romantic mood! I ALWAYS ask my girl how her day has been. Just wait for it. Thanks for these great videos Courtney. Girls and guys alike can learn a lot listening to you.
So after hearing all 7 of these green flags, I realized that my now-ex-wife did not have ANY of them. In fact she was often the opposite. But, she's been kind of sneaky in how and how slowly these crept up and became RED flags. I've since realized, after much research, that my ex is a "Covert Narcissist". This little gem of a title is considered one of the WORST types of people to try to get along with. Read up on it. You might find out (hopefully not too late) about someone in your life that's making you crazy. I ended up being married for 20 years. I didn't even find out the details on WHY I was always feeling so uneasy and so judged and so much more, until AFTER I finally got divorced. I only knew, FINALLY, that I just could not go on in that relationship. What it boils down to is that it's NOT one or a few heavy duty bad things that the person does, where it's obvious. It's like the Chinese water torture that lasts and lasts and each "hit" or "slap" is not that bad by itself. But, it wears you down over years. Anyway, maybe others can be aware of this.
Recognizable, be holding back on diagnosing by yourself though. Especially the covert narcissist and the subtype petulant of BPD can be easily confused.
I always like to say I recognize certain patterns, but I don't have the graduationpapers framed on my wall. Have a proffessional do the diagnosing (which probably won't happen anyway, since they're not gonna seek help) and you just keep in mind those red flags for yourself. Never again.
Here’s a bright green flag when it comes to gratitude … when you do one or several good things for your wife/girlfriend and she doesn’t necessarily give you a fleeting “thanks” at the time, however later at the end of the day makes a point of approaching you, looks you in the eye and says “thank you for everything you have done, and thank you for the person you are.” That’s true gratitude. Millennials, male and female, please take note. Keep up the great work Courtney. Kind regards. Happily Married Aussie man of 25 + years. Cheers.
Open and honest communication is so huge like you said! Not only that, but I’ve learned she has to be honest with herself and not be in denial about issues in life. If she can’t be honest with herself, in the end she will not be honest with me. Thanks you for your insight Courtney!
Excellent point!!
you met a single woman that is completely honest with herself? Me neither my guy
Yeah true. I look to see if she is at least making a good effort to be honest, but as you know, that’s honestly hard to find.
@@barongerhardt hey you're preaching to the choir I have always understood that. It's these lists of impossible tasks that I speak out against. This stuff isn't possible, people should focus on what they can actually do to make things work.
Green Flag: A woman that can say no. As in ‘sorry I already made plans w my grandma’ or ‘I’m really tired - I probably wont be my best at that time’. This means she is an adult who has & understands her boundaries ~ healthy boundaries make relationships of all types comfortable for everyone bc when she says yes in any context, you will know there is no reservation.
Good observations about setting boundaries (I'm a woman who still has to work on that issue)Thank you!
I'd like to distinguish fake positivity is a big red flag. It's tough meeting anyone who is genuinely positive, but I think it's easier to spot in the way they approach the future, like: "Oh I had that setback but I'm working on it and I'll end up better for it" as opposed to someone who looks at the world through rose colored glasses or thinks great things will come to them if they just sit and wait instead of put in effort.
1. I don't remember the last time a female gave me a compliment. Ladies, it's ok to tell a guy he has nice shoes or nice hair once in a while. 2. Respect and humility. Most women lack both. I'm not sure if it's lack of religion or pop culture causing this.
Saying "thank you" is a huge one for me and I genuinely appreciate it. People say women never say it and when I lived in a college town (Ann Arbor, Michigan) the women there almost never said it but generally speaking women say it a lot in my experience.
I don’t know if I was being too picky. I went out with this girl, she says thank you when I pay for dinner but she never offered to pay (not even the slightest gesture)
My boyfriend thinks being an alpha means being extremely rude, dominating, aggressive and downright abusive. I watched the whole video and resonated so much I finally felt seen by someone the way I wish my boyfriend could see me for the genuinely good person with good intentions that I am. He sees my kindness as weakness and an opportunity to control every aspect of who I am. Almost 10 years together... I wish I left after the first red flag back in 2013...
I agree , I hate that people see masculinity as being aggressive, having anger issues, and trouble starting. They forget the other good aspects of masculinity like leadership, co-operation, and being able to make smart and rational decisions.
@@Jordanthecool7 I totally agree
sorry about that sarah...hope u r ok now..have a nice day
I like "7 behaviors that apply to all people in social situations " as a title much better. These are all basic requirements for adults as they interact with each other.
You would think so but in this era of constantly lowering standards and playing the victim instead of taking accountability these ARE actually rare and valuable traits, sadly...
I think that was the point or at least one of the points being made in the video. So many girls out there without a common sense of decency that guys are only asking for the bare minimum. A Muslim girl commented how she makes her man lunch from across the street and that to me is a green flag and for many men that is a luxury (in North America). The green flags mentioned in this video are minimums everyone should exhibit but just happens to be what North American men are looking for since the minimums are hard to find in women.
@@konannm my issue was singling out women in the title.
@@MikeyP109 I'm pretty sure she plans to make another video talking about green flags for men instead. Why do it in one video if you can do it in 2 as a youtuber ?
@@isegard2957 she already did it in one video, it was just mislabeled.
#10 is so important. I just ended a relationship with a girl I was totally in love with because of one single reoccurring problem that she wouldn’t take responsibility for. I didn’t even need her to agree that what she did was wrong but just apologize and take responsibility for it just because she loved me. But she couldn’t. I think the issue is that girls are more easily sensitive to feeling shame about themselves and for many girls hearing the words “this hurt me” gets equated in their minds to “I’m a bad person” and they will be defensive and deflect blame to not feel that shame. It was just ironic because of how emphatic she was about “emotional availability” and “vulnerability” but when push came to shove , she was the one that couldn’t be vulnerable and apologize for the sake of the relationship because she didn’t want to “grovel at my feet”. It makes me scared to open up again and be vulnerable myself like I did when I was just open and honest with her about how she hurt me. #10 is the most important for me at this time
Wonder what it was about?
Thank you for being BRAVE enough to talk about your own vulnerability. Also: for your INSIGHTS about women and SHAME. Gives me some food for thought! (I tend to be "OVERLY-responsbile"--my family's message to me was"If something goes wrong it must be MY fault") Appreciate your comment.
The narcissistic behavior of most modern women shows in spades when she doesn’t say “Thankyou” or “I really appreciate what you did this evening!”
Gratitude is everything to a Man who’s making an effort to make a date or outing pleasant and positive!
Selflessness. Putting the people she loves before herself. Being considerate of others. Being open-minded and willing to try new and exciting things. These are some other things aside from what you talked about that are green flags for me. My wife has all of those traits and we have built a strong marriage for over 15 years now and it just keeps getting better. I would do anything for that woman! :)
Meeting a woman like that is a once in a decade event, in the 25 years I've been dating I met 3, 2 times I blew it because I myself was still an immature prick, the 3rd one I kept after spending the inbetween time working on myself in every regard. Become the best version of yourself so you're ready when this woman shows up.
I am so relieved to hear more women talking about this topic calmly and respectfully. Thank you Courtney :)
Thank you for the amazing content Courtney. Women actually admitting that they are not perfect is necessary. Much of society’s talking points are about what men do wrong, and it’s important for people to admit that both sides have faults - as does anything in life.
One huge "green flag" that I rarely see (even in some otherwise friendly or charming people) is SENSITIVITY: there is no replacement for a meaningful perceptiveness to the feelings and problems of others, and I have a very unique story to tell, in order to explain it . . .
As some might remember, I'm the guy with Asperger's Syndrome who occasionally posts here. But back in college, long before I was diagnosed, the one person really sensitive to my symptoms was someone who knew nothing about it. I'll call her "Kris," and she was a beautiful, rather bright young woman who stage-managed a great deal in the theater department where I studied. Early in my years there, I had an autistic/ADHD "brain fart" that caused me to miss/be late for a rehearsal for the show I was on the set crew for, and the embarrassment pushed me into what I now know was a meltdown. As I tried to recover my composure, she briefly put her hand on my shoulder. Ansd when I unintentionally flinched, she responded softly, "you don't like being touched."
I had never realized this before.
But she was right, and it's actually one of my most prominent social problems to this day: personal-space issues. And she immediately picked up on it without issing a beat or taking offense! I can't remember when I've seen that kind of sensitivity in the years since, and this was literally half a lifetime ago.
"Kris" was a real keeper. Unfortunately, she was taken, as well as probbaly being too mature for me at the time.
Wow bud, you've been through the wringer! Its good for us to hear these stories! She sounds like a good lady! often the good ones are taken, just like the Chads are taken when women are roaming the world looking for one! LOL
7:54 - You're so right about not being able to control the cards you've been dealt. A lot of RUclipsrs chastise women for having "daddy issues". But in reality it is more important if these girls are capable of recognizing issues and working on themselves. I know a few girls whose parents are excellent but turned out to be annoying brats.
Wow, Courtney you nailed this one. I'm living in Romania where I teach English (among other things) and can say I've noticed a sizeable difference in the girls here... especially the younger girls. Most of the one's I've interacted with have a cheerful attitude (not a diva attitude) and most are intelligent conversationalists. Granted, many of these girls have been raised differently... and it shows in their attitude and expectations. Very refreshing.
Still got a strong family based culture in Eastern Europe - I had the pleasure of working with a Romanian/Turkish girl once who was quite possibly the most beautiful woman, inside and out, that I've ever met. And the crazy thing was she was single. She was a bit of an Ice Queen and probably intimidated most men, plus this was in KL where she was a bit of an outsider. But she was absolute 10 to me and actually very friendly once you made her comfortable. Strange to say that as I'm very happily married man and certainly no moves were made but damn, if I'd of been a single guy that would of been a different situation!
Green flags:
1. Initiating physical contact? Holding hands, snuggles, hugs, sitting close, etc.
2. Walking beside you and not in front, where you feel like you're in a foot race.
3. Treating the people you love well, both family and friends.
4. Is proud of you with her family and friends.
5. Doesn't constantly need attention from others.
6. Willing and offers to help you.
7. Enjoys learning from you...(not man 'splaining)
8. *Ability to laugh at herself*
9. Wants to make a home together.
10. Listens, without judgment.
These go for men too.
Solid list. Thanks Mike.
11. Spends less than she earns. (Corollary: Terms like "walking ATM" and "bank of boyfriend" are not in her vernacular.)
12. She does not swing her elbows when she walks.
13. Asks "what do you think?"
@@paulsander5433
True...so true!
She loves you who you are. She's supportive, will be there for you through the good and bad and does things.
🎯
This is Disney fairytale. The only unconditional love is between a mother and her children. Everything else is conditional. This is codified by no fault divorce. The statistics do not lie.
Me and my girlfriend just stopped talking to each other today. She said she's still interested, but she wouldn't even talk on the phone because she's "too busy" in pharmacy school, and we haven't seen each other in two months. Then she ditched me for her friends yesterday and I called her out on it and she said I was watching her location, when in fact I accidentally opened up the snap map and saw she moved, when she said she was staying home.
@@FordHoard you have been single for 2 months and didn't know it. Best course of action is man up and and be happy somewhere else. Women are a dime a dozen. You being happy is a slap in the face to her.
@@dobermanownerforlife3902 We've been talking since April. We went on two dates then, and in May she went down to her parents house about 200 miles away. When she came back in August for school again, she invited me to come see her at work. She works at the same bookstore I used to work at last winter. Everything was going good, but she just always said "maybe" when I asked if she wanted to go out. We've been through several arguments about it, but I just can't take it. I don't get it. We still texted every day, she complimented me and I complimented her, we flirted just last Wednesday, and she does this. Her going off with friends after she said she was staying home hurt me the most.
Gratitude. As a hands on man. If I'm working on your car or replacing a ceiling fan and you're there (not at work) just sit there and talk to me, make a glass of tea while I'm working for you and a simple thank you afterwards goes a long ways for me. Now if you want to show more gratitude like making dinner. Wait until I'm finished or at least close, then cook and I'll come and hang out with you while you work
What a phenomenal video. Videos like this deserve all the popularity. Keeping these standards in mind and settling for nothing less will always lead to attracting good women and good people in general and successful relationships.
"WE don't want to date someone who's little miss gossipy mean girl. WE don't have time for that"
Courtney out here taking ownership of our relationship like a true big sister, sooner or later she's going to start getting wedding invites from us 😂
😂😂 this is amazing
amen 🙏 🤣
You're a weak fool if you need your big sister to take ownership of your relationship
I'm a guy but I gotta say Awww
What happens if she's the mode with no means? 💀
Hey Courtney! I've been watching for some time now and I just recently met this girl through one of my best friends. I can say that She literally has all of these 7 green flags.
The thing that is also a green flag for me is that she sees me for who I am and truly listens to what I have to say. And the comforting thing is that we both match energy, which makes things so much easier... :)
i once opened a door for two of my closest female friends, they said "thank u~" and i replied with a mumble as if i'm saying "you're welcome". Felt that gratitude in 'em.
Isn't that just being COURTEOUS??? I don't expect men to open doors but, always smile & say thank you when they do. BTW when I see a man loaded up with packages or on crutches, whatever would mean he can't open the door, I open the door for him! We should ALL be treating each other with BASIC courtesy ad respect!!! It's NOT that hard.
@@LisaFenton-h7f 'mkay u don't need to make a 1 paragraph...
She speaks positive about others is very important. Like you mention if she is bad mouthing others to you. I can imagine what she might say about you when she's speaking to her friends or siblings.
Great vid. I have a woman in my life who is the epitome of this list, and consider myself loved and respected. Seeing this list encourages me to give back to her as much as she gives to me. It's more than just a checklist, it's a kind of gratitude check. Don't take it for granted reminder. I hope I said that right. It just makes me want to work harder is what I'm trying to say. Thanks for the video.
#4 speaking positively about others.. that one really resonates with me..I sometimes think about my ex and how she didn't have anyone in her life- friends, family, co-workers, who she consistently spoke well about. Compared to my new gf who is a very positive person and very appreciative of the people in her life!
This is the best content. Very helpful genuine info and not biased nor focused on blame. We are focused on solutions and engaging with good faith. Hats off to Courtney for being tempered and resolved in her pursuit to produce such conversations.
We live happy lives and there is easy relaxed solutions to our social desires. Your emotional control is a powerful tool to attraction.
This is incredibly kind. Thank you so much 🤍
My girls scores an A+ on all seven.
Our 49th marriage (not wedding - we eloped) anniversary was yesterday. So guys, lissen up to what Courtney is saying here. :)
Congratulations!
I'm so grateful for you, as I hear important things that aren't as obvious for me. Having ignoring and manipulative mother, it is very hard for me to overcome life challenges. Once more, thank you.
Having good friends is a big one for me, because when you date a girl you are also dating her friends. You want the people your gf is going to for dating advice to be good people.
Unspoken gratitude is always interpreted as ingratitude. As someone said, nothing stings like ingratitude in a relationship. Am I the one, the one I'm looking for, is looking for, is a good question to ask yourself.
I shed a few tears when my, now, fiance texted me to thank me for a small thing I had done (small to me, but apparently not to her, I had forgotten I had done it). My NXW never showed any gratitude. These green flag videos really help when I start to worry that my fiance might be like my ex (she is furthest from, and meets all the green flags mentioned here).
From a guy perspective and speaking from personal experience, here are the green flags some girls showed me :
1. She compliments you or the way you are dressed
2. She buys you something - ice cream, drink, a nice t shirt -
3. She stands for you when someone tries to make fun of you
4. She recalls any random thing you said about yourself
5.she tries to find something you have in common
6. She tells you she was thinking about you when she went to a particular place
7. She asks you lots of question about yourself
8. She comes physically closer to you - like really close
9. She finds a way to touch you - hand on my shoulder, back, biceps, arm, back of my neck, or grabbing my face with both hands
10. Deep long staring with a shy smile
11. She asks you to come to her house
These are the things that happened to me as far as I remember.
Green flag is she is punctual. She calculates the time and effort needed to be on time and ready. Red flag is she is fashionably late. Being late is not fashionable. It is down right rude and unacceptable. I love a woman who values time.
5-10 mins is fashionably late, that's ok. any longer is just rude. Not everyone runs their live with military precision. 15 or more mins early is also a bit creepy and a red flag. it's a date not a job interview.
My new girlfriend is a super sweetheart. She always tells me how much she appreciates me and others for their positive traits. She’s gracious. She’s kind, and she almost always has a positive attitude.
It took me a while to go for my license after completing drivers ed. When I finally got my license, and told one of my "friends", her way of thanking me was saying "it took you long enough". So not a green flag.
That might be playful banter, though! Any other NON-green flags?
@@inconnu4961 You didn't hear the way she said it.
I think having hobbies is a huge green flag for me. Reading and watching movies is fine and all, but what do you enjoy doing with your hands? Do you like to cook? Do you like to sew? Do you like to play tennis? Martial Arts? Workout? Mountain Bike? Sail? Music? All of these things are huge green flags that let me know she is her own independent and interesting person, and not just a generic 1900's housewife.
My last relationship, nothing against her or anything, but she didn't have any hobbies outside of watching movies or reading, and that really affected our ability to have fun and connect. It really made our dates become just cuddling and movie watching, or eating. That's important of course, but it shouldn't be the only thing we do together.
If we went mountain biking together, and we were both good at it, or if we played tennis together, or we went sailing together, or flying together, or camping together, shooting together, archery, or even martial arts. Those would be some amazing dates, and would keep the relationship from getting boring.
Women should be watching this! Thank you very much for this video Courtney! You are a lifesaver!
I am watching. 😅
@@dimpledimple5545 awesome! More women like you please 😊😊🤗
@Carmen terrific! As said before, more women like you!! 🙏
I wish this video was around 6 months ago. It would’ve saved me a lot of trouble, but things are a lot better now. A green flag you mentioned that I agree with is liking kids and being good with them, but the reverse side of that is “baby fever.” It’s nice that she gets excited by babies and kids. I mean, it’s hard to not think babies are cute, but it gives a vibe of emotional immaturity or jumping the gun when the first thing she says is not “that’s a cute baby omg,” but instead “omg I want a baby!” especially if it’s early in the relationship.
I couldn't disagree more regarding #6. I've had to do a major toxic dump w/ lifelong friends & family going grey rock or no contact. If someone wants to judge me on the amount of friends I have, don't have, or condemn me for not having many strong friendships...that's their right, but, I've now checked out w/ them.
I agree with your take about the friends bit, for sure! Doesn't really take into account whether someone's introverted or not - not gonna have that many friends by default. A bit shame based - hard to make friends? Must be my fault. Nah. Falling outs happen. Shallowness abounds. One ought to be picky with friends as they are about finding a romantic partner.
My mom is this woman in every way and more. On top of it, she is gorgeous. I have watched her get trashed and walked all over by every single man in her life. She is Very discerning about who she gets involved with and treats people like gold. I have never seen a man appreciate her. Instead, they take her for granted and treat her like crap. Can anyone explain? I've never been able to understand it and witnessing it has made me very fearful of men
Courtney, you have to react to a recent FnF show where girls were asked if they would rather at this point (mid-twenties) choose a good husband who earns 90k a year or a sugar daddy who gives them 20k a month, and all but one chose a sugar daddy.
The statement from one girl that described it all and was the general consensus: "I'm not gonna shut myself for life".
That's how they see marriage, settling down, the end of the good life. Why would any man accept that, do you really think he's going to be treated as he deserves in that marriage. And they were normal girls, nothing especially ratchet.
Wow. The West is doomed.
We men have many issues that we have to work on to be good husbands, I realize that, but I feel that despite men allegedly being leaders of societies we mostly accommodate to women and their wants and needs in dating and relationships. We adjust. Women are the ones who set the tone in that arena. And these latest modern wants and preferences of theirs are driving us all into the abyss.
May God help us all.
🫣 wow
OP has a point whether you see it or not. That's the problem with the dating scene in the US. Luckily I don't live there nor am I looking for someone from there. For you guys it's all about setting high expectations that guys need to do or have A to Z which is 26 points on a checklist. And then blaming men because they can't keep up, even though it's your fault. No offense, but many people in the US don't deserve to be parents. Look around. Many have failed, and I fail to see how you would be any different, Courtney. Many young people there lack critical thinking skills, and some marriages don't even last 5 years, most not even 10, seems like...unless you get really lucky. Some international couples somehow make it work, and I'm not surprised that many choose that road instead and why it's becoming more popular.
Thankfully those F&F girls don't really represent typical girls. They get internet clout chasers, Escorts/Strippers/OF Girls and wannabe Miami socialites on those shows - so often girls engaging in soft prostitution already. They are really just there to self-promote. Not surprising on the Sugar-Daddy question - 304s gonna 304.
If you watch fnf unironically, you specifically need God's help. Shit is poison, regardless of sex.
You are listening to music. You lean over her chair to dim the lights with the light switch on the wall she gives you the "KISS ME" look like a deer's eyes in the headlights. You are standing next to her by the window showing her the balcony outside she gives you the "KISS ME" look! Both green flags...or green lights. You kiss her! That's all you can do))
the goals one was probably mine. a gren flag for me is a woman who has her own passions and goals, because she'll understand that i need my own time to work on my own stuff. i dislike the type of woman that i would talk to, and then expect me to spend everyday with them. how am i supposed to accomplish my goals. if they want me to be with them 24/7
It's great that you do positive content. Lived with someone for 14 years that never said she was sorry. Always right , said hurtful things, until the end of our relationship I always held my tongue.i wasn't perfect but I tried she just blamed.
I liked that you also focused on the positive green flags to look for. Watching this made me realize just how bad dating is getting. We often hear that Men should be looking for a "good woman". But it is getting difficult because the bar of expectation is so low for women, and the expectations for Men so high. Maybe there should be a video on realistic Expectations vs Privileges in relationships.
men should be focused on their purpose, their businesses, their passions
when will find them, do not waste you time chasing a good woman, find yourself first, become a top 1% man and you will have any woman you want
The joke back in the day was men were looking for a 'hole & a heartbeat' and we got clobbered for being so basic! but over 35 years later, and nothing has really changes except the size of the women (they are MUCH bigger now)! A hole and a heart beat is often the only thing men can expect! After that all bets are off!
@@benhartart9487 or you just find a good woman that isn’t obsessed with status and lifestyle that you can give her. I’m getting of this cringe ass copy paste advice divorced from reality
Hearing both sides of red flags and green flags is important.
Most people would agree on these 5 green flags trust, honesty, open communication, loyalty and accommodate your needs.
Most should stay away from these 5 red flags cheaters, narcissists, non-trustworthy, doesn't respect your privacy, gaslighting.
These are 5 flags for the red and green that a majority of people can agree in relationships.
I love what you have to say about allowances for difficult parents. If someone hates a parent who is always there for them, it might be a red flag about self-loathing
But there should definitely be some sense of friends who want to build loyalty and trust with this person. If you are looking for more than a one night stand, you must consider how each person's attitude will shape the lives. And while you should not get lost in the needs of the third person, the emotional well-being of her in each of you remains crucial. What else are we here for in this world if not to experience and encourage joy and Bliss?
🚩Another red flag is being difficult, stubborn, and inflexible. I found this often comes with the “strong and independent” women, and it’s absolutely maddening trying to make these women happy.
i feel that
thank you for saying what is really true. society feels so stuck in pain and eager to point out red flags, looking for what's wrong with the other side. most of us could use more time looking within at our own red flags and catching those while looking at other people for their green flags and observing what we like about them and how those likeable traits make us feel. it's nice to remember that women, like men, exist with green flags. green flags do exist!
Yeah, I'm done with women who play these constant mind games and throw you a bone here and there just in order to get some attention when they can't get it elsewhere. It's just a soul draining experience. I think dating should at least be a little bit of fun even if it doesn't lead to a relationship and it is when you're dealing with an open and honest person but this just gets you into a toxic bind and will eventually drag you down emotionally.
Green Flags (for me):
-Shows kindness, when she thinks no one is watching.
-Is willing to be herself, and not just who she aspires to be.
-Knows her limitations, and is comfortable within them (while also working to better herself)
-Aims to compliment the symbiotic and syllogistic aspects to a relationship.
(very important) - Knows how to lead, and isn't afraid to -- without being dominating (see point 4)
Ya know what court, it must suck having to read all the negative comments all the time from every side.
I've watched people become more disassociated from the opposite sex over the years, and they come to channels like this to spill out that frustration.
Don't let it drag you down, you doin good work.
So many thoughts.
I’m a Five Love Languages woman. (Here are the love languages: gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service.). I discovered this concept about six years ago when I started reading Gary Chapman’s books. You show people love by loving them in the love language(s) they like. I used this knowledge in the last two relationships I was in.
I think using love languages is a green flag.
Green flag? She offers to get you a coffee or something else when she runs to Starbucks.
Green flag? She apologizes when she messes up AND changes her behavior. An apology is not enough. A change in behavior for the better is a green flag.
Green flag? She offers to do nice things for you or your family.
Green flag? She’s not addicted to social media.
Green flag? She respects you. If she makes more money than you, but she never says anything disrespectful to you about it, that’s a green flag. (The last two men I dated probably made less than I do. I’m not money hungry, so I was fine with cheap dates. An ice cream sundae and a walk in the park are fine with me.)
Green flag? She pays attention to you, not her phone on your dates.
Green flag? She’s friendly.
Green flag? She has life goals, one year, five year, or ten year goals.
Green flag? She’s financially responsible. She has a job and pays her bills. She is working on getting out of debt or is out of debt. She repays the people or companies she owes money to.
Green flag? She has gone to counseling, is going to counseling, or is working on herself.
I read one of Patty Stanger’s books. In the book, one of her male clients said that he wants a woman who will show up, smell good, and smile. In other words, he wants a woman who will give him her undivided attention, she takes care of her personal hygiene and appearance, and is friendly.
Do I, as a woman, do these things? Yes, I do. I worked on myself a lot over the past six years. I am a much better person in relationships now that I have a ever been.
If a woman doesn’t have a lot of friends, ask her why. If a woman was addicted to substances and no longer has friends because all of her friends were users as well, that’s not a bad thing. It may take her time to build up a new friend group.
When I left my ex-husband, I had a very cynical outlook on the world and its people. My ex is an angry, miserable man. I thought everyone was like that. One thing that changed my perspective was the docuseries, The Kindness Diaries. Author Leon Logothetis travels around the world using kindness. The series changed me for the better.
If you’ve had numerous negative experiences with others, it can be hard to get it in your head that not every one is a jerk. This series showed me that there are good, kind people all around us.
Good luck to all of you who are on the path of finding love.
I have something weird which I consider as a green flag... She listens to music. This is a direct indication that she can communicate with her innermost parts and that she can enjoy herself too. That she can find bliss on her own.
I'm not so sure that that's a good indicator. My ex-wife listened to music, and she is a covert narcissist. I rarely listen to music myself, but I'm very self aware. My GF listens to music, and she shows every green flag. I guess my point is that both toxic and healthy people listen to music
@@june012006 I said that it is an indication. I didn't say that it is a clear sign, that every woman who listens to music, is actually a good woman. And that's why it must be seen as part of many other things on a woman's characther. 😁😁😁
people who let music dominate their thoughts are sheep my guy and nothing else
if they listen to classical music with their eyes closed, waving their hands around with blood on their face like Hannibal Lector, that's a green flag it's ok. it shows they are cultured.
I SO APPRECIATE that you don't judge a man from his relationship with his parents. All my life I've suffered women's downgrading my desirability for the odd relationship I have with my sociopathic parents.
Courtney, your Green Flag List is very prescient, wise, and extremely accurate. You understand and brilliantly articulate your knowledge of human interactions and personality traits. Those are the reasons I subscribed to your channel, because bottom line, you are several cuts above anyone else in the realm of relationships.
You are so kind. Thank you so much 🥹
I'm here to share info on a genuine unicorn.
This woman and I have been friends for like 8 years, but a couple weeks ago, she called me up out of the blue to have me teach her how to do West Coast Swing dancing. Pleasantly surprised, I said sure. She came over and we had fun practicing, then went out a couple times. The first time, SHE paid for me to get into a nightclub...we bought our own drinks. She was very fun (and gorgeous, I might add). She texted me after, telling me she couldn't wait to go dancing again.
The following week, she wanted us to go to one nightclub in particular...She was off to Las Vegas but said she would be back in time to go dancing. I thought that was a heck of a turnaround and doubted she could do it. The day of, she was in Las Vegas at 3:30pm and made it back here and met me at the club only 15 minutes late. She kept her word, thought I knew she was exhausted. Despite that, she engaged me in conversation when the music wasn't too loud.
I am sooo impressed with this kind, beautiful woman. Honor. Kept her promise, Fun, sexy and classy. A Unicorn.
They do exist.
Good mention of green flags but it is difficult to find in dating and relationships 😊
🤍🥰
The Boss BaBE attitude and the "Men should pay for everything" attituide and the "i am the prize attitude, precludes gratitude in any way. These mindsets are pushed everyday on social media.
8 - She's not a th0t.
9 - Her parents respect each other and are positive role models.
10 - Mostly traditionally feminine/Conservative.
11 - Her friends check the above boxes as well (birds of a feather...)
0:56 - Shows gratitude & says thank you
2:21 - She puts in equal effort
3:22 - Open & honest communication - acts matches words, no mixed message or asks you to read minds.
4:22 - Speaks positively about others - shows character & confidence! negative ppl project alot and lack confidence!
6:30 - Self-respect & development - put in self work & do values match & goals.
7:56 - Maintains healthy relationships
10:20 - Taking responsibility
8. Independent
It's a huge turn on on a woman if she's not relying on someone , but always having good decisions just by her own
I don’t mind an independent women , but in a relationship she shouldn’t be so independent. Most women truly want to be safe in a mans arms , free to be the soft girls they are that they can’t be in the real world.
Thank you so much for being an kind hearted, honest, advocate for men in todays dating world. Things have changed and will continue to evolve. Thank you for all you do
Hi Courtney, I am trying to get rid of a lot bad content in my youtube feed. Especially the Red Pill stuff which I am no longer watching. Your right we need more positive content than negative. The saying , "You are, what you eat" can definitely be applied to what content you continue to watch. Your one of the good content in my list.
The content you consume is important. Good for you and thanks for the kind comment 😊
shouldn't you stop watching any self help content in general and start watching DIY stuff if that's how you're really moving? How does coming here help?
@@TheForkOnTheLeftist It doesnt! he is simping! Courtney tells a lot of bad things, and she knows it, hence the disclaimer! Either this guy needs to buy a clue or something! LOL
These positive videos are what give me hope.
I'm tired of everything being negative.
Everything is about the drama, the cheating, the insane standards, Red Pill, Black Pill, delusions, modern dating, suicide rates, divorce, and general evil in the world!
but that is what gets the clicks and fuels the algo...
Positivity and real hope for dating and love is severely lacking.
If you ever want to know the truth about what your girlfriend thinks of you and if it's worth continuing, see how she talks about you with other people. If a women is serious about you and really wants a future, than she'll be excited to talk about you to other people, especially around other men. Anything else is just a no go.
Hmm...a friend of mine (when we had a catch up last December) spent half the time bitching about how depressing her boyfriend was: 'really hate him so much. I try to think up ways I can kill him"
In summer, she was skipping off merrily on holiday with him, with no time for any of her friends, apparently. Go figure what THAT means - from bitching about him to throwing her pu**y at him?? (Wtf?)
@@JohnM... It sounds like she has some emotional or phycological damage and trauma's to deal with. Which automatically makes her a no go in my book. But I definitely think if a women respects and values you, she will absolutely make you out to be an amazing man to others.
@@JohnM... way to get back at her, when you next meet them both, in front of everyone, say "hey you must be the boyfriend that does x, we heard a lot about you". that will make it clear to him that she bitches about him behind her back and it doesn't even make you look bad, it makes her/him look bad.
My fiance's biggest green flag is her being very caring. She is very calm and sweet, and while her body isn't the most medically healthy, she is willing to cook me a meal when I go visit her (we're currently living in different states due to family matters). She also gets mad at me if I even dare say that I'm going to visit her whenever there's even a slight chance the weather forecast shows bad weather because she doesn't want me risking myself just to see her
Some statistics from my own personal experience:
Shows gratitude - 1/20
Puts in equal effort - 1/20
Open & honest - 1/50
Speak positively about others - 1/50
Self respect - 1/100
Maintains healthy relationships - 1/100
Taking responsibility - 1/100
Probability of a man meeting someone who is all of these = 1 / (20*20*50*50*100*100*100) = 1e-12. glhf.
Well if pride is a red flag then humility would be a green flag, especially when she's humble enough to know how to say sorry and is willing to do so as soon as possible. I've dated women years ago that absolutely refuse to ever apologize which means they thought they were absolutely perfect and can do no wrong where I've been constantly trying to improve myself overall since I was a teenager and I'm in my early thirties, but women tend to quit developing their personality at the age of 14 now because of social media
These are spot on. The most important to me being willing to take accountability and improve. No one's perfect but if willing to do this, I'll have plenty of forgiveness and patience for that person.
If she doesn’t curse, that’s a green flag
My list before I get into this video. Attractive, honest, has integrity, does not lie, loves God, can discuss problems without getting upset, does not manipulate, and is loving. That is my short list off the top of my head.
You could change "she puts in equal effort" to "she puts in ANY effort" and it would still be rare and appreciated by men
Exactly
Too often what happens is that the "dating game" enters the "sexual realm" WAY too fast and this is when things very often get weird and end up a failure quite quickly not long after. Trust me I'm a guy and TOTALLY understand the urge to want sex ASAP but this is seriously generally a recipe for disaster if you are actually looking for a long term partner.
Green flag, she is equally yoked in your belief system. Ive dated non Christian women and it always felt like a huge hole on the relationship. Over the years I decided that this is not something I would be willing to compromise on. If I ever date again, it will be with a woman with the same Christian beliefs as me.
God bless you my friend and good answer! I am a Christian as well and I believe the exact same.
Preach!
Here's a few more that I especially look for
1. Isn't on Tik Tok or other social media constantly
2. Is able to put down her phone and spend time with you without going on it every 5 minutes
3. Wants to be around your family and get to know and have a friendly relationship with them
4. Sends you memes/videos she knows will make you laugh or smile especially if you're having a bad day
5. Likes your friends (obviously if they're not good people that's different)
6. She likes to be goofy/silly around/with you