My Teenage Daughter Wants Nothing To Do With Me, What Should I Do With Her Money?

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  • Опубликовано: 21 апр 2022
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Комментарии • 451

  • @superblump87
    @superblump87 2 года назад +355

    She's a teenager. Don't do anything with her money yet. She will grow out of it.

    • @karimbennett5651
      @karimbennett5651 2 года назад +7

      I agree. I wouldn’t stress over it. The ball is in her court.

    • @adamseidel9780
      @adamseidel9780 2 года назад +16

      Sadly, maybe not if it’s been the result of one parent poisoning the child against the other after a split. Very, very sad. I hope it gets better.
      That said, Dave is just wrong on this, completely. The beneficiary of a 529 doesn’t own the account, you can change the beneficiary or withdraw the money if you want. I’d recommend the father consider keeping it there for awhile and hope it can be a sign of evidence that the mother’s statements are lies and he still loves his daughter. But it’s tough.

    • @front331
      @front331 2 года назад +5

      If he has abused her in any way, then forget about it, she's not coming back ever. It really depends on how she feels about him and how much damage he's done to their relationship. I assimilate to her in a way, and I'm way older than 16.

    • @jeffwvu4602
      @jeffwvu4602 2 года назад +5

      Yeah... and also, there's 2 sides to every story.

    • @202supra
      @202supra 2 года назад +3

      This generation is different

  • @grayandgray
    @grayandgray 2 года назад +201

    Just keep doing your job as a dad without expectations. Don't steal her money because you hate her mom. Do not turn the account over to the mom to manage...

    • @clarifyingquestions
      @clarifyingquestions 2 года назад +10

      Agree - 100% ! And give it to your daughter when she turns 21.

    • @Chicago48
      @Chicago48 2 года назад +7

      I think Ramsey told him good advice. Eventually the girl will come around, it may take years. The father should not push into the relationship but let her come to dad. Dad should move on get married and have more kids.

    • @magicworld3242
      @magicworld3242 2 года назад +6

      I agree. Dave gave horrible advice. He better not ever transfer that account over to the mother.

    • @jerryinmon2731
      @jerryinmon2731 Год назад

      ​@@magicworld3242 Dave didn't really advise him to do that rather gave him his legal options to deal with the situation. He later on in the video advised to keep control over the money to give his daughter time to grow up and figure the situation out for herself.

  • @adaleneify
    @adaleneify 2 года назад +124

    PLEASE tell this caller not to give up on the relationship with his daughter! This happened to me as a child/teen. I caught on in my young 20s and reconciled with my mom before she passed away at 52. Still feel horrible guilt, but it is fleeting now because I know God forgives me for how I treated her. I would be willing to listen and talk with this man on the phone!!!

  • @violetedge1017
    @violetedge1017 2 года назад +50

    Pls don't make permanent decisions at this age. Teenagers can be so horrible, but they outgrow it, trust me. I speak from experience. Praying for y'all

  • @Keepasking123
    @Keepasking123 2 года назад +36

    What am I missing here. She’s only 16! There’s still time and hope for reconciliation. She has plenty of time until 21 yrs to mature.

    • @johnSmith-uz8nl
      @johnSmith-uz8nl 2 года назад +1

      It sounds like he wants to wash his hands with her.

  • @noname75013
    @noname75013 2 года назад +61

    Not correct. Dave is wrong. 529 accounts are owned by the person who opened the account. There are court rulings on this and also spelled out in the account documents. The money is his.

    • @Jamezar
      @Jamezar 2 года назад +6

      True

    • @MrYurann
      @MrYurann 2 года назад +10

      Came here to say the same thing. He can set beneficiary to himself and get another degree with this money with no problem.
      She does not have a claim to this money at all.
      Dave confused it with UTMA/UGMA account

    • @Joenzinator
      @Joenzinator 2 года назад +6

      100% right. The parent is the owner of this money. He can either change the beneficiary, or just yank the money out and pay the 10% penalty.

    • @palehorse5275
      @palehorse5275 2 года назад +5

      I agree but technically it;s his money anyway. He put the money in it.

    • @WoodUCreate
      @WoodUCreate 2 года назад +3

      He can even use the money himself in a qualified institution.

  • @adboama4real
    @adboama4real 2 года назад +153

    I love Papa Dave's advice..Truth will always win at the end no matter how long falsehood is peddled around. The girl will come around and reconcile to her father when he loves her without condition..

    • @miriambertram2448
      @miriambertram2448 2 года назад +9

      Nope.

    • @diggernash1
      @diggernash1 2 года назад

      Why worry about it? In two years she is an adult and she can go figure the world out. Send it to her and let her mom blow and laugh about it later.

    • @ceciliajohnson8812
      @ceciliajohnson8812 2 года назад +7

      I hope so, and I think it's very possible. This daughter won't always be young and will eventually be in her forties, fifties and beyond, meaning her entire world view and understanding will change.
      This situation needs prayer.

    • @killersaxsolo
      @killersaxsolo 2 года назад +5

      Not necessarily.

    • @kristenmarie9248
      @kristenmarie9248 2 года назад +5

      Nope. She won't change. She will get worse.

  • @musadawood2655
    @musadawood2655 2 года назад +73

    16???!!!! Bro it’s a phase relax

    • @tamaraframnes7004
      @tamaraframnes7004 10 месяцев назад

      Look up Parental Alienation Syndrome. It’s not “a phase.” You obviously have no idea.

  • @Jim_Curtis
    @Jim_Curtis 2 года назад +124

    I don't think Dave is right on this one because 529 plans are controlled by the dad as custodian of the account. These are not UGMA/UTMA where the money becomes the child's money. The dad can change the beneficiary of a 529 account. He should just save it for the daughter later or a future grandkid.

    • @AlShows
      @AlShows 2 года назад +13

      That’s right Jim, on custodial accounts you are not able to change the beneficial owner but on a 529 you should be able to change the beneficiary.

    • @mikederucki
      @mikederucki 2 года назад +1

      In KY you can only change the beneficiary if the first beneficiary decides not to go to college or there is leftover money after graduation

    • @AlShows
      @AlShows 2 года назад +2

      Interesting that is good to know, well overall I think Dave gave great Dad advice!

    • @Jim_Curtis
      @Jim_Curtis 2 года назад +6

      @@mikederucki That is interesting. I guess it depends on the state that the 529 plan is established under. Dave should say something like, "Generally it's this, but check with your advisor or state rules." He does not caveat anything legal or tax-wise very well.

    • @adamseidel9780
      @adamseidel9780 2 года назад

      Or save it for later for other allowable purposes if they reconcile

  • @colleenfrench4522
    @colleenfrench4522 Год назад +7

    I would STRONGLY caution against this. Over 18 years ago, a family member did this with one of his kids accounts and the fallout and bitterness has never really gone away. Resist the urge to make a teen a football in you and your ex's issues.

  • @kaylaa2466
    @kaylaa2466 2 года назад +57

    This is typical “I hate my parents” & MOST grow out of it. Sometimes though, your parents passed down trauma & refuse to apologize & become better people so they’re toxic & disconnecting is best for your mental health. Praying for the former for this guy!

    • @PandamanGP
      @PandamanGP 2 года назад +7

      It's not typical. Parental manipulation implies the mother is painting the father as evil. It's a little different and a lot harder to fix than the typical "I hate my parents" teenage rebellious phase that many people go through. My wife went through it and is just starting to learn how much she was lied to by one parent about the other, especially since a lot of the "facts" aren't visible to the child. We are in our late 30's, and it's well beyond and not just a maturity issue.

    • @kaylaa2466
      @kaylaa2466 2 года назад +1

      @@PandamanGP it’s typical by design. Psychologically typical. We know that the brain goes through a decision making shift around this time. Parents impede on that; therefore we do hate them for a short while as we start to “control” our own lives or at least fight with wanting to

    • @ralphholiman7401
      @ralphholiman7401 2 года назад +1

      Teenagers are usually not well adjusted emotionally, no matter how they are raised (it's just better or worse depending on the circumstances, but they are all messed up). Wait them out and see what happens.

    • @rrrealitycheck
      @rrrealitycheck 2 года назад +3

      The mom is engaged in the crime of parental alienation. This is NOT typical. It’s against the law and is considered child abuse.

    • @kaylaa2466
      @kaylaa2466 2 года назад

      @@rrrealitycheck The daughter is 16. It’s not parental alienation in MOST states. I’m in Indiana & you can choose at 12 where you wanna live & if you wanna engage.

  • @curiouscat3384
    @curiouscat3384 11 месяцев назад +3

    She's only 16. Teenagers are neurotic and she is very likely to change in 2-4 years. I would just relax and see what happens. By the time she's 18 she might learn more about what happened with mom, and be curious about him. Yes I agree with Dave and Rachel

  • @blackjag121
    @blackjag121 2 года назад +80

    Let her find her way back to you. Let her know that you have money saved for her and her college dreams. Children will find out the truth on their own.

    • @miriambertram2448
      @miriambertram2448 2 года назад +2

      Seldom

    • @jaybartgis5148
      @jaybartgis5148 2 года назад +3

      My kid chooses to hate me and now they want to pretend to be my friend when they need my money?

    • @miriambertram2448
      @miriambertram2448 2 года назад

      @@jaybartgis5148 my adult daughter works for the Jewish Federation but had a nuanced position with even moving the US Embassy to Jerusalem

  • @s1234pro
    @s1234pro 2 года назад +118

    As a parent I remember my teenage son being just about the most horrible person I've ever known. We are great friends now and business partners and have been for several years. When it's time for her to go to college I would let her know that her mean, evil, unloving father has several thousand dollars for her education and if she wants it, here it is. Her choice. If she wants to be angry and stupid by refusing the money, so be it.

    • @orangeblossoms88
      @orangeblossoms88 2 года назад +4

      Lol I love this honesty. I’m not a parent but I can imagine this would be relatable to a lot of parents out there.

    • @yayhoo8848
      @yayhoo8848 2 года назад +7

      And you were completely innocent as a parent?

    • @s1234pro
      @s1234pro 2 года назад +1

      @@yayhoo8848 Probably not. No such thing as a perfect parent, but considering we're great friends now what do you think? I've noticed you enjoy making trouble making comments on here. Too bad your life is so miserable.

    • @yayhoo8848
      @yayhoo8848 2 года назад +2

      @C C exactly, my mother was abusive but never was able to see her abuse. She had a permanent incapability for self-awareness.

    • @lisaowen7617
      @lisaowen7617 2 года назад +3

      Yes!! My father and my brother had a terrible relationship when my brother was a teenager. Now they are best of friends and work very closely on my brother's business together. So much can change.

  • @4wdboss230
    @4wdboss230 Год назад +5

    We had a foster daughter (legal guardians) that things went south just before she turned 18. She had it made, but couldn't distance herself enough from her "real mom". Left on her 18th birthday. We wish her well, and hope she "comes around" as she matures.

  • @OkayBilly
    @OkayBilly 2 года назад +24

    The teen and mother are not here to defend themselves. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @michellerichardson3090
      @michellerichardson3090 2 года назад

      Exactly. He may feel its the mom but every parent goes through this with teens. My ex's friend swore her ex turned her kids against but theyre in their 20s and they dont deal with either parent. And to be honest shes just a horrible person and the ex left the kids with her, they asked to live with him.

    • @catfor_life1534
      @catfor_life1534 2 года назад

      Right.. my kids don't have/want a relationship with their dad because they saw how he chose his friends, drugs, alcohol, and multiple women over them many many times. But I could totally see him telling a sad story to anyone that would listen about how it's my fault or my kids fault. 🙄 gross.

  • @caroleanne8529
    @caroleanne8529 2 года назад +65

    Oh my goodness, how sad. A 16 year old youngster is sometimes a snot faced brat, as I was. My mother was so determined to torture my father after their divorce that she led me to believe my father wanted nothing to do with me and she led him to believe that I wanted nothing to do with him. It was not until they were both deceased many years that I learned the whole situation was a lie. Please assure that your ex is not destroying any communication you attempt with your daughter (birthday cards, etc.). Dad was not at my high school graduation and I could not find him to ask him to my wedding. There was no internet then. and my mother swore she did not know where he was. After both had passed away, I discovered she knew all along. She's your only daughter...

    • @Abmarp
      @Abmarp 2 года назад +3

      This is so angering!!! I’m so sorry

    • @pamwilliams6630
      @pamwilliams6630 2 года назад +3

      So sorry this happened to you!!! Sad:(

    • @etiennedegaulle3817
      @etiennedegaulle3817 2 года назад

      You're getting one side of the story. You have no clue what Mike has done in the past. Maybe nothing. Maybe horrible thingsl

    • @johnSmith-uz8nl
      @johnSmith-uz8nl 2 года назад +2

      What is sad is that you did not reach out to your Dad regardless of what you mom has told you.

    • @caroleanne8529
      @caroleanne8529 2 года назад +2

      @@johnSmith-uz8nl I did not know where he was - no Internet then.

  • @radfoo72
    @radfoo72 2 года назад +17

    The daughter blocked him out only a year ago and she's 16 now?
    Don't be impulsive to make a point
    just because she was.
    If you have faith and wait she Could
    be a prodigal daughter once the hangup is reconciled.

  • @dawnt5587
    @dawnt5587 2 года назад +14

    I don’t think Dave is correct. I think the account is owned by the person who opened it. DO NOT transfer the money to the mom’s name. She will cash it out.

  • @nathanieldrain907
    @nathanieldrain907 2 года назад +6

    Remember, we are only hearing one side of the story. She might have her reasons for cutting him off. We don't know.

  • @Trinat06
    @Trinat06 2 года назад +12

    This is so sad. Please don’t give up on your daughter!!!

  • @katiecommon3614
    @katiecommon3614 2 года назад +14

    Sounds like we only have one part of the story here. If he really thinks that mom is poisoning the daughter against him why is he trying to take away the daughters funds? The money is already saved, it is very petty to take it away. Parenting is unconditional love.

  • @ellencox8415
    @ellencox8415 2 года назад +54

    You stop adding to it. Dave is right, you can call the state and change the account holder, but his advice at the end is the best. Let the ex know how much is in the account and leave it at that. This gives you the opportunity to maybe still have a relationship with her in the end, whereas if you take the money, it will just confirm her feelings that you're a bad guy even if that isn't the case now.
    At 16, I thought my dad was the worst, but by 18 my feelings had changed completely. He was my best friend until he died from cancer a few years ago. I'm sorry you're going through this. I still feel gut wrenchingly guilty by how I treated him in my teenage years, but he never gave up on me.

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 2 года назад +3

      Honestly I wouldn’t care. She wants to feel that way about me, I’ll gladly confirm those feelings. You don’t GET to denigrate me and still expect to get a large amount of free money from me

    • @kristenmarie9248
      @kristenmarie9248 2 года назад

      @@charlesg7926 🎯💯

    • @ellencox8415
      @ellencox8415 2 года назад

      @Joshua Bailey my hatred for my father at the time had nothing to do with any grievance my mother had. He thought I was too young to be so serious with my high school sweetheart. We were going to get married until he died at a party when he was 19 and I was 17. Now I know the majority of my hatred was grief and anger for not getting to spend more time with him, but at the time I blamed it all on my father... and he took it because I think he recognized what it was.

  • @BagsNBaguettes_327
    @BagsNBaguettes_327 2 года назад +10

    Breaks my heart for this dad, he sounds really torn up about it. 🙏🏼

  • @kara2162
    @kara2162 2 года назад +25

    He's still legally her parent. I wouldn't add anymore, but would let her have what's in there once she turns 18.
    16k isn't that significant.

    • @mikederucki
      @mikederucki 2 года назад +2

      Right, she’s 16 now, turns 18 in two years. When she’s 18 just tell her she has this 529 plan (will be like 20-22k) and leave it at that. At some point daughter is going to see through all this and find the truth about her parents.
      No sense in reinforcing what mom has said about dad by causing a big ruckus over 20k that he can’t get back for himself anyway. That’s the thing about 529- you lose the right to the money in exchange for the tax break.

    • @jeffkline9191
      @jeffkline9191 2 года назад

      One semester…

  • @HOODS
    @HOODS 2 года назад +7

    I really like the Dad advice approach.

  • @alliekriston4234
    @alliekriston4234 2 года назад +34

    With a 529 plan, the parent is the owner and can change the beneficiary. There are certain guidelines to whom the beneficiary can be switched too. Sorry Dave, love your advice but you’re wrong with this one

    • @xterra4hire
      @xterra4hire 2 года назад

      10th x and tax on cash out also I believe

    • @Nonameagain80
      @Nonameagain80 2 года назад +1

      Thats why they asked if therewereother kids ie to switch it too. Someone else in comments said that in that state theres more rules before switching kids.

    • @Trinat06
      @Trinat06 2 года назад

      He doesn’t have any kids and it has to be used for education.

    • @xterra4hire
      @xterra4hire 2 года назад +2

      @@Trinat06 in most states you can remove at a 10%. Penalty and pay taxes on growth

    • @alliekriston4234
      @alliekriston4234 2 года назад

      @@Nonameagain80 it doesn’t have to be kids, he can even change himself to the beneficiary. Dave was incorrect in saying that the money was the daughters, those are the rules for an UTMA account not a 529. The dad could even withdraw the funds and pay a 10% penalty and taxes only on the earnings (for penalty and tax). Not all options were provided clearly

  • @Allergic2broke
    @Allergic2broke 2 года назад +12

    She will come back around when she needs him

  • @didine256
    @didine256 2 года назад +11

    He shouldn't even mention there is a college fund yet. When she will be ready to go to college, I'll mention it, otherwise let's wait

    • @claudiacanales2662
      @claudiacanales2662 2 года назад

      Totally agree. Don’t even let the spoiled brat know.

  • @DFloTV
    @DFloTV 2 года назад +5

    He needa call Dr. John

  • @druler65
    @druler65 2 года назад +7

    I feel this dad's pain, my mom went through the same thing with my sister.

  • @willelliott5052
    @willelliott5052 2 года назад +7

    She is only 16. Wait for her to grow up and to make up her own mind and heart. It is not a lot of money to worry about.

  • @USMCAllTheWay
    @USMCAllTheWay 2 года назад +10

    The same thing happened with me. I made attempts to reach out many times, with no success. After she was 24, I made one more attempt and then used the $$ to pay off my house.

    • @bearing_aficionado
      @bearing_aficionado 2 года назад +3

      Your money you do what you need to do with it. Don't blame you one bit. Congrats on paying off your house.

    • @PInk77W1
      @PInk77W1 2 года назад +1

      Life is rough

  • @proverbs31woman31
    @proverbs31woman31 2 года назад +4

    my parents divorced when I was five, when I was 16 I choose to stop visiting my dad on weekends, it wasn’t him it was his mean wife I couldn’t deal with. She was manipulative and narcissistic lady.

  • @azteca6695
    @azteca6695 2 года назад +8

    I blamed my dad for the problems of the family, as a teen and the oldest. He was an alcoholic and womanizer. But as I got older, I realized my mom played a part. His not only my father, I call him my friend.

    • @JakeStewart1343
      @JakeStewart1343 Год назад +1

      My dad is 90% the problem and my mom 10% for being his puppet

  • @JerryStevens
    @JerryStevens 2 года назад +7

    I wouldn't assume this is permanent. My wife was an adult when she and her mother stopped communicating for 5-10 years. They reconciled and she and her mother had a great relationship for many years before her mother died.
    But we also don't know if this was truly "parental manipulation". I know of a teenage girl who also wants nothing to do with her divorced father because he was as neglectful and verbally abusive to his daughter as he was to his wife.

  • @69georgiepie
    @69georgiepie Год назад +3

    If the mother is being manipulative, transferring it to her is the worst possible advice. Keep it for now in the hopes of reconciliation. My mum kept me from my dad for years and I believed all kinds of things about him. I woke up eventually and now I have a wonderful relationship with my father.

  • @truther001
    @truther001 2 года назад +5

    Daughter is 16.Usually when kids get a few years older, they are able to see through the manipulations of their parents. It's very likely that this will happen with this guy and his daughter. He should not give up on her and try to reconnect with her in a few years.

  • @mjs4766
    @mjs4766 2 года назад +30

    I don't think that's right, its not her money--she's the beneficiary. I have a 529 for my daughter, and its MY account--with her being the beneficiary --that said, I can change the beneficiary at any time, including to make the beneficiary be myself--the very fact that I'm able to do that means its not her money--its mine and I'm choosing to give it her to her college. If this were me, I'd probably change the beneficiary to myself and if I didn't need it I'd just let it sit there until my kid either got it together or there was another family member I could give it too.

    • @mikederucki
      @mikederucki 2 года назад

      Not in Kentucky:
      “Parents may change a 529 plan beneficiary if the original beneficiary decides not to go to college or has leftover funds in the 529 plan account after graduation”

    • @Fiery154
      @Fiery154 2 года назад +3

      This was my thought too, just change the beneficiary. Maybe he has a niece or nephew

    • @gottesma
      @gottesma 2 года назад +1

      What you say is correct for individual 529s, but there are custodial 529s too (they are less common). If the 529 is custodial, the money belongs to the daughter.

    • @wittyusername9544
      @wittyusername9544 2 года назад

      These laws are crazy. Not only do they tax you with penalties if you cash out for your purposes but you are also liable to get sued. Wow!

    • @lillianwright2641
      @lillianwright2641 2 года назад

      How's your relationship with your kids?

  • @corndog2835
    @corndog2835 2 года назад +5

    I would just leave it as it is, things can change over time.

  • @tacooflove6175
    @tacooflove6175 2 года назад +8

    I know ppl who had moms like this, who would just out right lie to them about there dads and made them feel like they were betraying mom by spending time with dad.
    They all figure out mom was lying once they got out of high school they started to see dad just as he was without the mom broken heart filter.

    • @RearviewMirror-ij2pr
      @RearviewMirror-ij2pr Год назад

      Dr. Craig Childress here on YT has many informational vids on this.

  • @flea4061
    @flea4061 2 года назад +8

    Why? Girls don't hate their Daddy's for no reason.

  • @NurseMoneyGrowWealth
    @NurseMoneyGrowWealth 2 года назад +8

    Definitely write the letter saying you love her and want a relationship with her.
    My dad wrote the opposite letter of not wanting a relationship with me and it’s heartbreaking.
    Let her know she is loved and will be helped with school. Be the bigger person. 💕

    • @NurseMoneyGrowWealth
      @NurseMoneyGrowWealth 2 года назад +1

      @Joshua Bailey my “father” sent me a letter as a teen saying he wanted to end child support payments and doesn’t plan to have a relationship with me.

  • @TanyaLyn
    @TanyaLyn 2 года назад +2

    If the reason she wants nothing to do with you is truly because she is being manipulated by her mom, why would you then punish her for it? Essentially you are financially punishing her for being mentally abused. Have you heard of financial abuse? This reeks of pettiness and conditional love.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 года назад

      Because she is acting out of line. When I was that age, I knew how to control my behavior. She needs to be nice to the people that do not abuse her and take it out on the people she is being abused by. Enabling is what is harming fefails of today.

    • @TanyaLyn
      @TanyaLyn 2 года назад +1

      @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 And when I was that age, my mom was lying to me about my dad and I believed her because she was good at it. Are you really trying to say a 16 yr old should know if she's being mentally manipulated? And, I think it's "out of line" to hold money over a kid's head who's been brainwashed. Blaming & punishing her for not knowing the truth? And if she does know, and is scared to cross her mom, why is she being punished for that?

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 года назад

      @@TanyaLyn Heck, 16 year old gals are manipulating MEN! >:( They know exactly what they are doing. Not falling for it!

  • @sharonfleshman6961
    @sharonfleshman6961 2 года назад +6

    Why would you let mom take care of the money if she is being manipulative? It seems like a terrible idea.
    Okay, Dave is changing his tune, much better.

  • @ZoSkiLuv
    @ZoSkiLuv 2 года назад +4

    He should hold the contributions and let the daughter know the money is there as Dave said.
    Most kids will come around to a realistic method of thinking once they get older.

  • @jeanlaubenthal698
    @jeanlaubenthal698 2 года назад +5

    It is very stressful for children in the middle …maybe she just needs to breath. I like Dave’s advice. And remember she loves you and some things are in the way of expressing that now. Hang in there.

  • @kingofrivia1248
    @kingofrivia1248 2 года назад +1

    I feel like the guy either called to get validation for stealing her money, or he called to get some help with his situation or just someone to talk to.

  • @tonia2483
    @tonia2483 2 года назад +1

    My stepdad was in the same situation as his daughter Now years later they talk he sees his grandkids everything is great now that shes grown and out of her mothers house.

  • @jonirunyon8601
    @jonirunyon8601 2 года назад

    Excellent change of hats. Very wise advice!

  • @Teamshmo
    @Teamshmo 2 года назад +9

    I'd leave the money. Teenage kids are always going crazy and making mistakes that they don't think about until later. Also, she's still your daughter. One day you can give her the money. She's not gonna say no to taking money. Even if she doesn't wanna speak to you at least you know your kid will have some money to help.

    • @Teamshmo
      @Teamshmo 2 года назад

      @C C he said the mom has been telling the kid he's awful etc for all those years. He barely knows the kid but her mom is saying stay away from him this entire time.

  • @pitbull7885
    @pitbull7885 2 года назад +6

    I would just leave it there until she comes around while she's young. But if she cuts you off and still has not talked to you by the time she's 30 yrs old then I would go ahead and take the funds out and keep it. She obviously didn't go to college or care. So legally you would be OK.

  • @billhathaway2814
    @billhathaway2814 2 года назад +1

    It is HER money just give it to her... It will show that you love her no matter what...

  • @AGM-ts5bb
    @AGM-ts5bb 8 месяцев назад

    Excellent advice! If you do not keep that money for her, it will just reinforce what the other parent has said about you. And believe me, a 16 year old can change her mind; don't give up on the relationship.

  • @mdi6792
    @mdi6792 2 года назад +6

    16 year old is a child. Give it time..how easy this father has given up on a future with his child.
    So many teens hate their parents..

    • @pepcore
      @pepcore 2 года назад +4

      I completely agree. When I got older i re connected with my father again. She is still a child, you never know how the relationship will grow in the future. (Even if the father feels that there never will be a connection)

    • @Trinat06
      @Trinat06 2 года назад +3

      My thoughts exactly. How do you give up on your child that easily is beyond me. And If you know that the other parent is manipulating her then it’s not her fault, she’s a child.

  • @missjane782
    @missjane782 2 года назад +10

    She's 16, lots of opportunity for her to see things differently with time

  • @melanieschafer1297
    @melanieschafer1297 2 года назад +2

    I agree with Dave!

  • @nvrdwn3140
    @nvrdwn3140 2 года назад +2

    She's 16. If you act like a bad parent she won't come back. But if you are reaching out to her trying to be good, she very well come back. Giving her 16-20k as a graduation present is definitely a step in the right direction..

  • @mandysimmons2769
    @mandysimmons2769 2 года назад

    Where there is life there is hope. This could all turn around one day. It might even be if and when she has kids and realizes the deep love parents really have. Just prayed for this!

  • @fauxbro1983
    @fauxbro1983 2 года назад +3

    Lol teenagers always being rebellious. But parental alienation sucks from divorced parents.

  • @kingsexploits
    @kingsexploits 2 года назад +5

    Wonderful advice both as a professional and as a Dad. Hats off Sir.

  • @maryhollingsworth2856
    @maryhollingsworth2856 2 года назад +1

    Good advice

  • @ensignmjs7058
    @ensignmjs7058 2 года назад +1

    This sucks but we're hearing just a small financial portion an entire relationship.

  • @jackjumper4231
    @jackjumper4231 2 года назад +1

    Every body loves the parable about the product son, this man gets to be the father who loves a wayward child

  • @kelligreer3975
    @kelligreer3975 2 года назад +3

    Let her grow up. Hopefully she will talk through everything and get her own opinion of her dad.

  • @joshuat770
    @joshuat770 2 года назад

    I like and agree with Papa Dave's advice.

  • @adaleneify
    @adaleneify 2 года назад +1

    Yes, she will come around, Dave

  • @NickMagnuson
    @NickMagnuson 2 года назад

    I like the Papa Dave answer here.

  • @bobbyb7672
    @bobbyb7672 2 года назад +2

    Unfortunately, bitter exes usually do that...

  • @James_Hough
    @James_Hough 2 года назад +1

    Word to the wise- don't disown a parent until you have the $$$.

  • @BlendedBarbieDoll
    @BlendedBarbieDoll 2 года назад +15

    If you wanted your daughter to have it you should still let her have it. She has her entire life to feel differently about her father.

    • @rnt45t1
      @rnt45t1 2 года назад

      typical female response. GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE

    • @kristenmarie9248
      @kristenmarie9248 2 года назад

      She won't. She will use him.

  • @sweetpea4967
    @sweetpea4967 2 года назад +1

    He can be sure the communications get thru if he speaks to the school counselor and gives them the letter to give her. Have it open for them to see you are telling her you love her and there is college money, etc....

  • @wk.t2161
    @wk.t2161 2 года назад

    Good answer.

  • @lucy2steele
    @lucy2steele 2 года назад

    I agree with Papa Dave. I was a crazy 16 year old. But over the years I’ve cooled.

  • @blackspiderman1887
    @blackspiderman1887 Год назад

    Basically the mom had custody and was filling her head up with lies. Over time she grew to resent her dad because of the lies her mother told. Later she will realize her mom was the liar and will come running back. Tale as old as time

  • @luminous6969
    @luminous6969 2 года назад +2

    Another vindictive parent smearing the father and he can't defend himself cos she won't let her see him. Disgusting.

  • @garagehobbies
    @garagehobbies Год назад

    She may very well come around with maturity. I'd hold onto it and pray for the best in the not too distant future.

  • @drizzit2424
    @drizzit2424 2 года назад +2

    I have a similar issue with my two from my ex. I thought they would come back for the military benefits. Haven't heard from my son in four years, but my daughter just started reaching out to my new wife.

    • @regularity2556
      @regularity2556 2 года назад +1

      Hang on and keep the line open. Reach out to them periodically and let them know that you are still there for them.

    • @drizzit2424
      @drizzit2424 2 года назад

      @C C the day u have to deal with family courts, then u can respond. Clearly either your to young or immature to understand the family court system.

  • @suehammer6236
    @suehammer6236 2 года назад

    Just keep it and be a loving father. She will come around one day.
    I seen it happen many times.

  • @MoneyTalkwithMP
    @MoneyTalkwithMP 2 года назад +2

    Teenagers have change of heart like seasons. I wouldnt make immediate decisions, its good to wait a few years!

  • @matthewferrick3288
    @matthewferrick3288 Год назад

    My ex and I had a bad split when my daughter was five and wanted nothing to do with me. As soon as she finished high school, she couldn't wait to find me. She'll come around.

  • @christinebutler7630
    @christinebutler7630 2 года назад +1

    A friend had a 529 for his daughter, but she got pregnant at 14. He took her out of school, did a high speed homeschool through a GED, and told her to get a job, find a place to live and support her kid. He changed the beneficiary of the fund to the grandchild.

    • @211Shinobu
      @211Shinobu Год назад

      She could still go to college. Hampering her future because she became pregnant seems petty to me. His grandchild is more likely to grow up poor and not graduate from high school if s/he has a single mom without a college degree. He's cutting off his nose to spite his face.

  • @darinjuliesims354
    @darinjuliesims354 2 года назад

    Overcoming evil with good is a Biblical principal that works but requires extreme faith and patience to do and live it out in "real time". I agree 100% with Dave and Rachel. Just wait it out in Faith and also humility and there may be a day in the future when you get to walk her down the aisle. Praying for you!

    • @blackspiderman1887
      @blackspiderman1887 Год назад

      It depends on what the situation is. The bible do not reward bad behavior and expect children to obey their parents.

  • @mrsm3442
    @mrsm3442 2 года назад +1

    Mike, things will change. If you could let her know that you love her unconditionally and are there for her, whenever she needs you, I promise you, she will return one day. Blessings.

  • @TDBurrow
    @TDBurrow 2 года назад +14

    That breaks my heart. I have a daughter that is my best friend, so is my daughters mother (my wife). This is just terrible.

    • @perotal
      @perotal 2 года назад +4

      Your child is not your friend.

  • @c.c.2508
    @c.c.2508 2 года назад +7

    Sometimes kid's have great reasons for not wanting to deal with certain parents. A parent will never call in and say I did something's that wasn't right toward my child and now my child is disowning me. My discernment from this call is telling me he did something heartbreaking to her and she is done. I don't know what it is, but this whole video all I could hear in my spirit is that he did something horrible to her and doesn't want to take accountability. It's not always the kid! Sometimes the kid needs to be protected from their own parents.

  • @ChinaConsultingTravelBlog
    @ChinaConsultingTravelBlog 2 года назад +1

    I am in a similar situation with my daughter. Sorry to say. She will get absolutely nothing.

    • @katie8325
      @katie8325 Год назад

      Shame on you. I’m sure she’s happy to be free of you.

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa 2 года назад +1

    That's what I was going to suggest. Transfer the 529 to the mother and let it go.....................

  • @yayhoo8848
    @yayhoo8848 2 года назад +1

    They are your kids so you either love them unconditionally or not.

  • @RJRussoVids
    @RJRussoVids 2 года назад +21

    This was a very important call for me as I am dealing with a similar situation with a teenager who has been deeply affected by lockdowns and school closures in addition to a divorce. We used to have a great relationship and it has deteriorated over the past two years. Between TikTok, woke schooling and too much social media exposure she has become a totally different person and I often wonder if our relationship will ever be the same again. 😔

    • @Mel-tw6qv
      @Mel-tw6qv 2 года назад +1

      Hang in there. Its a very strange and self absorbed time in a young girls life. Behavior has little to do with parents.

    • @barbiec4312
      @barbiec4312 2 года назад +15

      “Woke schooling”? LOL, you mean she has a point of view different/more evolved from yours?

    • @gmvalentine626
      @gmvalentine626 2 года назад +1

      @@barbiec4312 "More evolved," LOL, SMH

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 2 года назад +1

      @@barbiec4312 moe ron

    • @tpowell3776
      @tpowell3776 Год назад +1

      Barbie C He's referring to the Gender and Grooming Indoctrination that has become a cultish movement in our public schools

  • @rrrealitycheck
    @rrrealitycheck 2 года назад +2

    He can sue the mom for parental alienation which is illegal in most states. Most courts will view it as child abuse.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 года назад

      Yeah. but he will still have to pay her reparations because she is a fefail and the system favors fefails.

    • @rrrealitycheck
      @rrrealitycheck 2 года назад +2

      @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 taking her to court in this context would be about justice not financial change. She’s breaking the law and he’s enabling it by not holding her accountable.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 года назад

      @@rrrealitycheck Okay, but I think she will cry and get her way. That is just how the system works.

    • @rrrealitycheck
      @rrrealitycheck 2 года назад

      @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 not if there’s a divorce decree and a co-parenting contract and/or custody arrangements. If she’s violating those court ordered items from the divorce then she’s criminally breaking the law.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 года назад

      @@rrrealitycheck She cries and all is forgiven.

  • @soular_wisdom
    @soular_wisdom 2 года назад +2

    You can revoke a beneficiary of a 529 plan and change it to someone else who is an eligible family member

  • @ykciR
    @ykciR 2 года назад +27

    Wonder what he did for her to feel that way. Feel like he’s done stuff that he doesn’t acknowledge is bad. Maybe. Idk. I find it hard to believe she just started to hate him for no reason.

    • @RubeeRoja
      @RubeeRoja 2 года назад +7

      I thought he said " parent manipulation". That made me assume that he's not getting along with her mother and there is some animosity toward him there. I guess only they will know if it's Justified. sad situation

    • @nikkisigmon8090
      @nikkisigmon8090 2 года назад +3

      I wonder too. How my father treats my mother and his own manipulation is why I'm taking a break from communication.

    • @RubeeRoja
      @RubeeRoja 2 года назад +7

      It was asked what he did to make her feel that way. The caller mentioned that there was a rift between him and the other parent. Only they will know what actually happened. It could very well be legitimately something that he has done. It could be also very well be the daughters perception from what the other parent has said about the father.
      I have a cousin that disowned our grandmother (who had planned to leave a sizeable inheritance for her) because after my uncle died, the wife no longer wanted to have anything to do with the family. (they hadn't always been each other's favorite, but no particular incident). She convinced my cousin not to speak to us anymore, even though we had been pretty close; to rather become close to family in another country. You just never know what kind of family drama can ensue.

    • @adamseidel9780
      @adamseidel9780 2 года назад +2

      Well this is also a possibility. Ultimately, we don’t know, and this is a financial show (that just gave incorrect financial information on this question) about how to handle the 529, not Dr Phil with the time to spend an hour breaking down their family problems in detail.

    • @bbkyjohnson
      @bbkyjohnson 2 года назад +3

      That’s a total load of bs!! When I was divorced my ex wife had my kids so brainwashed that I was a monster. It took them years after I got custody to realize what was being done. Just my opinion from my experience.

  • @enntower421
    @enntower421 2 года назад

    Dave is wrong about the ownership on the 529s. The named beneficiary is NOT the owner of the funds unless the account is specifically set up as a UGMA/UTMA. It is NOT a custodial account. The owner of the funds is the administrator of the account in most cases and the funds can be changed to a different beneficiary at the will of the owner.

  • @nancygamez7087
    @nancygamez7087 2 года назад +1

    This made me so sad

  • @cornellsinclair
    @cornellsinclair 2 года назад +1

    Slightly incorrect. The adult person opening the 529 is the owner. The owner has the right and ability to change the beneficiary (child). Now state prepaid plans may be a bit different.

  • @barnabusdoyle4930
    @barnabusdoyle4930 2 года назад

    Hold the account and give her time. She’s 16 and as she grows up she will realize the real situation. I will wager that the situation will improve at some point and you can give it to her then

  • @sabrinahernandez5425
    @sabrinahernandez5425 2 года назад +1

    Hold off brother kids grow up and def don’t transfer money if moms a narc. She’s way too young for you to give up hope. It doesn’t need to be bait it was created with love And that love will shine thru I’ll pray for you

  • @BRIANDER100
    @BRIANDER100 2 года назад +1

    it seems like a lot of the time the mother will turn the child against the father

  • @JJJobson
    @JJJobson 2 года назад +2

    I have over 60k in a 529 for my daughter. She chose not to go to school which is fine but that does not mean that money is hers. It was hers for school now it is mine. I will never recommend a 529 to anyone. I would invest in something else that is not tied to school. If they do forgive student loans one day will they release the 10% penalty on 529s?

    • @joyaustin6581
      @joyaustin6581 2 года назад +1

      I would put my own retirement first.