Wife Has Been Lying To Me For 30 Years About THIS!
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- Опубликовано: 22 фев 2022
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Alimony for a woman who cheated and lied to you for years? The judge who decides that deserves jail time.
Welcome to family court
Idk how judges who grant outcomes like that don’t wind up murdered. Do they have 24-7 protective detail at home? I’m asking a serious question. Didn’t happen to me, so not making a threat but if I was a judge, I’d be AFRAID to give such outlandishly unjust rulings
@@charlesg7926 its because most men are not evil just make bad choices.
@@charlesg7926 Probably was afraid of HER?
@@charlesg7926 tell your senator to pass better laws the judge enforces the law they can’t make up the law
Chris Rock said it best….. “ Do you know why divorce is so expensive ? …… BECAUSE ITS WORTH IT !!!!!! “
Yeah, I'm a female that gave up a LOT OF $$$ to get free of a POS. It can happen both ways.
Lol
Do you know what I would tell Chris Rock? it is cheaper if you don't marry them in the 1st place! ya can't lose to these man-hating laws if you don't play their game.
Truth! 😄
@@limpingoatfarmSame! I walked away with a Big L financially in exchange for peace. (No kids)
He doesn't realize he'd be happier without her. Keep you relationship with the daughter, this isn't her fault.
I completely agree. I anticipate a lot of comments on this video disagreeing.... but come on. You'd have to have a heart as cold as ice to end the relationship with the child you've raised for all of those years. It's not her fault. The wife on the other hand... divorce papers would already be on her desk.
@@randomutubr222 hope they can have an honest conversation that yeah things are going to change but what's important won't, that all their experiences and love can continue
@@randomutubr222 Narcissists wouldn't have a problem dumping the child too, since they only think about what's good for their own selves, and could care less about others (even children). So I agree with you about people who are like that having a heart as cold as ice.
Not the daughter, that is a girl he helped raising
By raising the girl since birth, she really "is" his daughter. Blood ties aren't everything.
Talk to a lawyer! Talk to a lawyer! Talk to a lawyer!
You invest so much time and money into this if you feel like you are no getting ahead in life and the toxic continue you are doing more harm than good divorces are messy but you are in a situation where it too burden and there no way out you need to break free from this or she going to continue pull the wool over your eyes I say get divorce and pick up the pieces start fresh don’t let anyone stand In your way and as far as your so call daughter let her be your daughter since you already invest into your so call daughter be part of your daughter life but not the wife you don’t need the wife she treating you like an atm machine that not a marriage I been married twice a widow twice and we always help one another everything we share was together when you are married husband and wife are combined into one unity but if your given more than your share and she take and not given that not a marriage go after your happiness pick up the pieces and leave especially if you are not getting a head
Update life insurance and retirement accounts today that they do not go to your wife in the event you die. She should not prosper or benefit and a divorce will take time.
some company pensions require you to name a beneficiary with the caveat it cannot be changed UNLESS there is a divorce and that is part of the settlement.
My best friend informed me that unless I changed the beneficiary after the divorce was final, in the case of my unexpected death, my ex husband of 30 yrs would get everything in the sense of pension, life ins, etc. In Calif the ex gets the money unless it's changed. I provided documentation and had that info changed within a few months of my divorce being final.
THIS is what playing “Victim” gets you!! 30 YEARS in a Marriage, ZERO Money and a Child that ISNT YOURS!!
Hi Bovine how're you doing today and how's the weather over there today. Where're you from
On top of that he has to pay alimony 🤨
@@walternicolas6927 Im from C U next Tuesday!!
@@bovinebeautymoo2884 takes long to hear from you Bovine .. I reside here in Cleveland.. how's the weather in Canada
If that's not reason to stay single I don't know what is.
When Dr. D said "Every home is built with a door on it", it really struck me. He's exactly right. If you try to help someone and they reject it, walk out the door.
Or they can go. YOU don’t necessarily have to go anywhere.
I was thinking that the other person should leave, not the one who is paying for everything and getting treated badly.
I think he meant the guy needs to walk out the door and leave his wife!
I love it. I'm going to use that!
@@caroletta451 No she can leave and be homeless. She cheated and refused to get a job while he earned that house
No brother, don't fall into the sunken cost fallacy. Cut ties and pay the alimony if you must, but leave. It certainly won't be "cheaper" on your mental health to stay.
Who says she may even get alimoney. After what she pulled. And if she did. She may not be around to to collect it.
Exactly.
@@340rps sadly she probably will be getting some spousal support.
@@340rps it's commiefornia
Why would he pay alimony. She has a job. Document that she has not contributed to household expenses. Document the girl isn't his. Document her gambling habit.
That's how it works and the reason I'm not married.
That's the world of no fault divorce. She can do whatever she wants and it won't be considered, if his income is higher he will likely have to pay her alimony, if the child is under age, but still not his, he can still get saddled with child support because he's established a parental relationship. It's a disgusting system but that's how they do it now.
None of that documentation means anything to the court.
If the man makes more money, he will pay alimony.
It's called no fault divorces. This legal system is rigged and a joke
That's what I was thinking!
Divorce her and run. She’s cheated, she’s stealing from you. She lied. Get out and run
Dave may never recommend divorce, but I will - get out while you still can
Dave has recommended divorce when it comes to infidelity
@@LaniakeaLeathercrafts that's one of the few biblical reasons for divorce.
From a Biblical perspective divorce is a yes if indefinitely is involved and u don’t want to work things out. I’ve known a leader at church that cheated but him and wife now live happily because there was a change of heart/behavior. Totally depends on the situation.
Or just separate
Alimony would be CHEAPER than her "hobby". The husband is enabling the wife's behavior. He needs to file for divorce, this is abuse not marriage.
She's a Keeper!
meaning...
Keeper outside away from you!
I am speechless. How do you let this behavior go on for 30 years? Not contributing to the household expenses for THIRTY YEARS so she can gamble all hers away? OMG! What a train wreck. Get out now!
Of course finding a way to blame the guy for this situation.
@@NickPShow Well he has contributed the most to his own situation by not enforcing proper boundaries. Even between husband and wife there are boundaries that if crossed are automatic deal breakers and should result in the end of the marriage. So yes, the fact that he is still there after 30 years of this is his fault.
She's gambling his money. She's keeping hers.
@@gjohannes1344 So even though the wife is gambling his money, it's his fault?? Really??
@@NickPShow Yes, it's his money and he needs to take the necessary steps to curtail what his wife is doing with the money his earns. Instead he just let it happen.
It never fails that when it comes to a marriage issue Delony HAS to find a way lay blame on the husband even when he is the victim. If we flipped the genders here the level of compassion they would show for the “poor wife” would be incredible
I agree. Honestly, he is not very good at his job. He often just vomits word salads that don't mean anything and never really gets to the point, and always sides with the woman.
The fact that you think the husband is the "victim" in this is laughable, and yes, if the genders were reversed I and most people would say the same.
He should of divorced when he found out the kid wasn’t his. Talk about drama lol
Exactly 💯
Exactly
Have not of
BINGO
What about the poor kid
Wait, wait, wait. Forget all the rest. She had you raise someone else's child and let you think you had a child FOR THIRTY YEARS. She would be lucky I wouldn't kill her. RUN as fast as you can. The idea that you are even asking these questions is obsurd.
did he only find out just recently about the DNA?
@@AdmiringObserverR Yes
I agree with 100%.
Yeah, this guy needs to see someone because to not be seething at this point is dangerous. He is way too detached.
@@happydogg312 concern for maybe HIS kids? Wonder if he had DNA done on the others, I would. Some people might think it better to not do it, but I think there would always be a nagging doubt. Better to clear things up then proceed in a manner you are all comfortable with if it turns out there was more than that ONE deception.
If the roles were reversed they would be like, im so sorry hun…
Hahaha 100% hun
Yep!!!
Truth!
You're so right. In a way Dave treats woman like little children if you think about it.
@@michaelb.8953 Dave is a product of his time and is too old to change.
He should not pay any child support for a kid not his.
The kid is an adult. Thats not even in a question
Good luck with that. In the US the only thing the state considers is if the kid ever saw you as a parental figure. That's it. There are a lot of cases going on where men are fighting to not pay child support on kids that aren't theirs. Which is why I tell guys to never date single mothers.
Jesus what a mess. Lawyer up and divorce ASAP for the sake of your mental health at the very least!
“She belongs to the streets” - Future
She'd be gone if it were me.
Love how they blamed the dude for everything
Infidelity has no bearing on divorce settlements in the eyes of many or most states. There is no penalty for deceit or adultery. It’s a sad sign of a declining and immoral society.
Yes, that ended with no fault divorce.
The man cheats, he pays......the woman cheats, he pays.....that is the foundation of divorce court.
Why has he not removed her access to all of the money yet? That seems like an obvious solution until he decides what to do in the long run. I’d be getting an attorney and filing legal separation in the meanwhile to protect the assets so she can’t do any further damage. And I agree with them that he’s equally to blame for allowing this for so long. We deserve what we allow.
They probably have separate accounts, so she has access to her checks coming in, but not the rest
Yes, Sounds like she is using her own money that she works for, for the gambling.
She's using her money to gamble.
@@jaebeablessings1005 well maybe but when you’re married it’s marital money.
I agree with a lot of your comments!
John is in California. Spousal support is NOT forever. There is an expectation that each person becomes self sufficient after a set amount of years.
"Every home is built with a door on it" Love this, very true.
Don't need a wife, learn to be happy by yourself.
You don't? But I still love you 😍❤️
It’s better with a great companion.
@@katemiller7874a great one yes...but not all are great after you marry & show their true colors.
This is what that “happy wife happy life” attitude gets you.
No way! That’s a sick wife and an enabling husband! That’s quite different than a “happy wife”. I’m a “happy wife” but I’m accountable to my husband as well.
👍🏾😁
No sir, that’s what a Jezebel gets you
Not what the saying was referring to at all
No it actually gets you a happy wife. Happy wife here. No gambling problem tho
Rip the bandaid off John and get yourself a good lawyer. Living the this way for the rest of your life is misery. Choice a new path .I have a friend who’s lived a similar life I’ve never understood why he didn’t leave her .
He choose to settle
Although I disagree with the statement, some say: “it’s better to deal with the devil you know rather than dealing with the devil you don’t know.”
It’s excruciatingly sad, & what’s worse is: there are SEVERAL marriages continuing in which one spouse chooses to settle and remain “stuck”,
I have a brother who is living this way. Mans a miserable husk of what he used to be.
I dont understand how this guy can handle being treated like that. Im stoic, but i would completely fricken lose it
Because when the law is not on your side, you want to cut your losses. Getting a divorce means he is LEGALLY allowed to hand out his money so she can spend it. So all this lie would turn into is what?
He's also mentally drained because of being in an abusive relationship. He now has no self esteem. He's broken. So he's just been dealing with. It happens in abusive relationships. He can't even see that "exit door" that was mentioned in the video.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 What most men fail to understand is that freedom is a reward you simply cannot quantify in dollars. Men never calculate that when saying that it is cheaper to keep her. No, what are you doing to your mental state by keeping her? Where do you calculate for that?
I feel really sorry for you brother. Good luck.
DNA tests to confirm paternity should be mandated by law. No man should sign a birth certificate until it is confirmed, by a DNA test, that said man is the father.
Get a divorce. No counseling.
I completely agree with this. They take blood from the baby already why not run dna.
Unfortunately, the court might still make him pay child support if the child is still of tender age. Way too many men being forced to pay child support for other men children. Because they are married.
@@ajoyforlife1 even if the court forces you to pay, you can still hire a good attorney and try to fight child support. With that said, once DNA testing becomes law of the land, men should not be liable for child support if the results prove that a man is not the actual biological father. Also, once you find out that you are not the father, you need not waste anymore of your time in that child's presence. The real father should care for his offspring(s).
Definitely agree with the dna test
@@otrebla8944 Yeah just cut the child off from any relationship (who all along thought they knew who their father was). How cruel can some people be to make the child suffer like that....yikes! Some of you people are downright scary lol.
So…his wife has a gambling problem and hid the fact their daughter wasn’t his….and they were coming down…on…the…guy….? 🤔
This is the Ramsay Show. Of course they are.
Men in general react better to harsh criticism. They are trying to wake him up to the problem so he doesn't get pulled through the mud by this women.
When his proposed solution is to just stay because he thinks it's cheaper? Eventually grown adults have to own up to the fact you let others abuse you, in this case abuse your money, your emotions, your trust. After the first few lies you decide to keep believing them or to ignore things that hurt you and accept the consequences.
This is why you don’t share finances
An uncle in my husband's family married and shortly after she dropped $5000 gambling. He went to an attorney and everything was taken out of her name including utilities. He paid everything and she gets a small monthly allowance.
Is he still liable to “keep” her when she has two actual reasons, infidelity and addiction, to NOT have to pay out alimony.
Lawyer up, find the meanest one out there, build up the stack of proof against her and DIVORCE!
Why are men blamed for everything? If it was the other way around these hypocrites would be telling the wife to divorce him. Double standards
Not sure what hypocrites you're talking about since Dave and John both pretty much told the guy that unless he's willing to live that way for the rest of his life, he should probably get a divorce.
You are absolutely right and that’s why I had to quit listening to him he gives horrible advice when it comes to relationships he’s not a counselor he’s a financial advisor and if you don’t do things his way you’re stupid.
Well from what I'm seeing there blaming both and the're correct. The guy should have taken care of gambling wife along time ago.
Thank you sharing the horror story with the fellow men.
🤣
WOW so appreciate my husband
That women sounds absolutely disgusting 🤮 That poor man! People like that shouldn’t be allowed to get married
@@Naturefan354 the problem with marriage and divorce laws, are that they are not fair at all.....there are bad men and bad women in marriages, but only the men are punished, and that includes the good men that have bad wives.....only the men pay.
I was in his position 35 years ago. I just wasn't dealing with the gambling problem. Flush the toilet, get up and move on.
The world is filled with pure evil and evil prey's on the good hearted.
Being spineless doesn't make one a good person.
Very true. Sadly
OMG, my marriage changed so much when we started talking about finances. Marriage is a partnership, with both giving. It seems like she's taking and taking with no giving. There is no reason she should be not contributing to the home. She may need to be cut off from stuff financially, like she needs to manage herself on an allowance.
For a happy, healthy life, do not let anyone into your life who can't govern their vices, gambling, drinking, smoking, drugs etc. It is just a matter of time before they ruin your life and everyone around them. I have seen it happen many times over the years.
Best clue is if you are still in the early stage of dating, if that other person takes food from your plate while out to dinner '86' them, they think they own you and even your food.
Living at best mildly happy in a marriage isn’t as good as living to the fullest outside of a marriage.
So well said’
And living to the fullest outside of a marriage isn’t as good as living extremely happy in a marriage
FACT
@@lesterparker1594 could you draw me a map to this magical land of rainbows and unicorns?
@@lesterparker1594 siiiiiiiimp
Situations like this makes me so scared of marriage, with a bit of bad relationships. It’s like man at some point you realize people abuse trust and take a lie to the grave. And smile to your face every day at the same time. It’s honestly depressing.
I hope you realize this is extremely unusual and was enabled by the "victim".
I would agree that thirty years is unusual.
tales like this are COMMON today, it is a different world, I am a sad remnant of a world where LOVE and compatibility, joint responsibility for a relationship and EVERYTHING was considered joint property of the marriage going in. Things CHANGED DRASTICALLY when the career single females known as TROPHY WIVES set out to find a mate and decided that the men they wanted because they were successful were already married.THAT is when divorce laws changed. Now those same 'Trophy Wives' need more changes to change the laws back to alimony... You have every right to be VERY AFRAID of marriage. It seems people have lost touch with a part of what separates humans from animals, CONSCIENCE has been adjudicated away. That cancels common sense and morality.
You don't have to marry. Be amazing and if a woman isn't willing to be with you without marriage, it shows that everything she claimed she was with you for is a lie. Then go be amazing with someone else. AND paternity test for any child born immediately after birth.
Dr. D & Dave should call a spade a spade.
They are absolutely suggesting divorce here, and they're right to do so.
time to divorce
Why is it always the guy who has to leave. She needs to get out!
I think it’s like a “Yield” traffic sign. You can’t technically take the Right-of-Way but you can give one up. If the roles were reversed, where the woman wanted the divorce, SHE would be the one to have to move out, not him.
Why should he pay allamony when she was the one that cheated. Having a daughter thats not yours is more then just a sham....
You'd be surprised at the nonsense that gets decided in family court. He has every reason to be scared of alimony.
@@JBrown-go8ru i Thank God i'm single still at 40>? half my firiends are divorced ..
Because he is a man. We are walking ATMs after all without feelings
I see this often - people allow their loved ones to go down-spiral, reinforcing their bad choices.
Tough love seems to be a taboo. You have to have conversations, boundaries and rules in your relationships. Rules that will protect everyone in your family.
It’s far worse to look back and realize you were a coward when you should have taken action.
Whimp!
There is no “tough love”, that’s just love.
You are calling him a coward? but if were the husband that was doing all this, and had a child out of the marriage, you would call his wife a victim no doubt. the double standards are amazing!
When Poppa Ramsey said "hobby", I died 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Update your retirement account, empty the bank account immediately, and open a separate account in your name only. Move out and file for divorce before she has time to do anything else.
Dr John and Dave such a dynamic dual
*Duo
@@TheAck201 😂😂😂😂
Addiction isn’t a hobby
Ummmmm he should have got rid of her 30yrs ago
It amazes me how much of a door mat i hear so many men calling in to get advice.
Generations of men raised by single mothers leads to generations of weak men.
These behaviors are repeated over decades and are absolutely unacceptable. He deserves so much better. What about your happiness, John? What about you deserving to love and be loved by someone who would treat you like a prize and never do you wrong??
Getting my 🍿before reading these comments😁
"you've allowed it for 30 years" she loves her life. Own it up pop, get a divorce, or stay in the situation. Deal with it!!
Divorce now, or go through bankruptcy AND a divorce later.
Dont get married! As a man you've got everything to lose.
If it F--ks, floats, or fly, It's best to rent than buy.
My husband stuck around for 40 years until the day he died and we were very happy together. Some marriages work out very well.
@@lisabaltzer4190 Some do most dont and a lot of men dont want to take that huge risk
"This is a country song" lol
They always find a way to turn it on the man involved in a situation like this and put blame on him, it’s crazy.
If a woman wrote in with this scenario they would be calling the guy names and convincing her he emotionally and psychologically abused her
I mean men are always
blame for everything, we should get used to it by now.
Honestly this level of gaslighting has been unseen from Dave before
Aren't men always talking about how they're the leaders and the "superior beings"? 🙄
If you're such a leader and so superior, you should not be allowing scenarios like this to play out for THREE DECADES!
How are you the leader of the household but allowing your wife to use you like toilet paper?
Yep. Always.
What a betrayal.
Thank you, God, for my husband and my marriage! Thank you for a beautiful baby boy plus one on the way that are HIS, and thank you for a partner with whom I have mutual love and respect. Thank you for keeping us far from idiotic self-inflicted addictions such as gambling. Please Lord, send miracles to this man’s situation and to any that are in need of your intervention! Amen!
You could have just prayed and left it at that 😏😏
@@Nokss87 ikr. Sound like showing off😕
@Oatmeal Truck - Had NO IDEA ... God was into reading prayers via RUclips Comment section !!
Bizarre that typing out my prayer would bother anyone, that it would be seen as “showing off”(huh?), or that anyone would think that God has a preference for the way I pray or how public it is or isn’t.
@@oatmealtruck7811 there's actually a verse in the Bible where it says it's better to lock yourself in a cupboard and pray than to proclaim it loudly in the streets.
Get rid of her yesterday. It’s never cheaper to keep them
This is a ridiculous situation. This is a question for more than one therapist, not the Ramsey Show. Both of the people in that relationship are not well.
@Unknown Comment he’s not fine. He’s been tolerating abuse for 30 years. And he’s calling in asking if he should spend the next 30 years doing the same because it’s cheaper than the alternative.
If he continue to put up with her he might one day end up in a freezer while she continues to collect his benefits.
30 years of lies and a kid that’s not yours. There’s no question. Time to get a really good lawyer and no more talking to the wife. Let the lawyers protect you.
7:14 😂😂😂😂 no lie I got rid of 35k debt back when I was 21 yrs old AND my twenties weren’t taken from me! Best thing that happen to me. (He committed adultery while I was the bread winner working hard - emptied our bank account while I was on a flight) now he suffers from epilepsy and is going blind in one eye 😳oh btw the other woman cheated on him 🤪 when I say I’m a happy woman, I mean it!
How'd you get rid of that massive debt so soon?
May God bless you
Rice and beans, beans and rice.
yeah, funny thing KARMA... my ex died young, an accident that I suspect WASN'T, the sad part? Nobody even pushed for a police investigation because they thought the insurance wouldn't pay... and oh, I must mention he suffered with mental and physical problems for a few years before his untimely death. I have had 20 years to ENJOY the old adage, "the best revenge on your enemies is outliving them". I agree.
I love how they BLAME the man (caller) who is expressing his situation which they are correct to do so. However the problem is that if it was a woman caller in a similar situation they would NOT blame HER🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
yup....the woman is ALAYS the victim no matter the situation.
Really? You aren’t in women’s groups are you? We yell too at women that put up with terrible behaviour because ohh they are scared of being single. Yeah sure it’s lonely at times but the rest of the time it’s liberating and peaceful.
If he brings that DNA test to court he won’t have to pay alimony or child support. He needs to leave ASAP
This man wasted his life, what a shame
The moment any man signs that marriage contract he is potentially in the same position as this guy.
@@Kanfachan An ancient proverb. Never sign a contract where the opposing party benefits to break it
Get rid of her.
What I'm hearing is, NEVER GET MARRIED!
You are hearing correctly. Apply what you've learned.
This is how someone ends up dead
i would be so infuriated caring for a child my whole life that i thought was biologically mine and i find out its not because the wife cheated on me... that is the biggest slap in the face. that being said i understand loving an adopted kid, but this is different. when you adopt a kid you know from the start its not biologically your kid.
Yup this is way different than an adopted kid. To love & nurture a child has nothing to do with blood related. If the wife was honest, it could’ve gone two ways….divorce or continues to love his wife and takes in the child as his own. I’ve known many couples who end up caring for a child that wasn’t their blood. In my opinion it seems like she doesn’t necessarily love him but using him for her own benefits
Don't dump the child. None of this is her fault. Dump the wife though.
Dump the kid and the wife. Yes I said it. The kid is not yours and not your responsibility.
@@Ryan_DeWitt Regardless of what kind of mental and emotional damage it will end up causing the child. Yeah you're real swift there. Only a narcissist thinks doing as you suggested is a good idea.
I think you people are sick in the head to say “dump the kid”. None of this is her fault. In her mind, he is 100% her father. And she has always been 100% his daughter.
I’m not saying this isn’t a gut punch. It obviously is. But you’d have to have a heart as cold as ice to end your relationship with a child that you’ve loved and raised for over 30 years.
And we keep saying “kid”, but she’s 30… she’s an adult. She isn’t his responsibility any further than he wants her to be. We aren’t talking about a baby here.
Dump the wife of course. But it’s not the daughters fault man…
If I raised a daughter for 30 years only to find out she wasn’t biologically mine, I would talk to her about it. But there’s no way I could just throw them to the wayside.
If the kid was literally just born and I learned it wasn’t mine? Of course I’d dump them both. But this is a bit different…
this is a good exercise for Ramsey to be on top of his game mentally. That is what John is to Ramsey.
Hear these stories often and I am impressed these stories don't immediately lead to homicide.
Good for these guys!
They’re yelling at him like he’s the cheater.
Dave still gonna take the woman’s side lol
Dave is a Christian beta male
He already did.
Did I see a different video? Both of them said the woman was messed up, lazy, and awful. Regardless of how messed up she was, John was allowing it to happen for 30 years. He could have been out of this mess decades ago, and he just let it happen to him. So yeah, he takes blame. But they didn't "side with the woman."
@@ganthc I seen plenty of Dave’s video. If this was a women calling on the same issue. He be like “run” , “he’s a loser” & “god bless you staying for as long as you could” “your a wonderful person”. It’s a double standard that men gets in a relationship.
@@krazyd0nut404 they essentially told John the same thing. They even ended on a divorce joke. Without saying to divorce her, they basically were saying he should divorce her. But part of the lessons learned was for John to take responsibility for allowing himself to be pooped on for 30 years. No mentally healthy person puts up with that nonsense for 30 years. John didn’t need coddling. He needed a kick in the pants to finally do something.
There’s a simp born every minute.
I am 42 years old and single, always have been single, and most of the time I am grateful I'm single. I got myself a good life and a good career, heck next month I plan on taking a vacation out to Hawaii.
He knew after the first year. No sympathy from me.
This type of relationship is like axing away at a tree with a dull blunt blade.
he has 30 years left? He will be lucky to make it to 70 with all the stress he has accumulated in this worthless marriage
Just leave her even if you end up paying alimony. Don’t continue suffering the rest of your life. You deserve at least one happy day.
Lol, blame the caller. 🤨
@Tankkizzle Simpin' ain't easy.
He was to blame. He got stepped on for three decades and did nothing. That marriage should have ended year one. She was allowed to live rent free, expense free, got free parenting for a child that wasn't his, and just got to work on her "hobby" for 30 years. Are you telling me you would have put up with that insane woman for even one year?
@@ganthc It happens. She was the one he wanted. 🍎 of his 👁. The prize.......full of lies and surprises.
@@ganthc are you serious? What if the roles were reversed? Battered wife. It's her fault for staying. Maybe she liked getting beaten up. Could leave the family at any time. Hey, it's her fault.
@@ultimaetsolder yes, responsibility does work in reverse. If a woman doesn’t flee the house, get a divorce, call the police, do something for 30 years, then yeah, you share some blame in your situation. Women have agency. It might be different if you were a helpless child with little agency. There are plenty of options besides keep taking abuse for 30 years and do nothing.
If a wife knew her husband was molesting their child, but did nothing, is she responsible or share any blame for the child being molested? By your argument, no, she’s got no agency to do anything, no responsibility to get help or protect the child.
“John” also needs to read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr Rober Glover.
I also agree that it would be better to make alimony payments which would have him pay for is freedom than making payments toward clearing debt that will never go away at this point.
You can control only what you can control.
If the roles were reversed, Dave and John would be like, "I'm so sorry that happened to you. He needs to man up and go get a job and stop his gambling addiction".
Dave and John's demeanors and responses would totally be different if that was a female writing in.
If i could give 50 thumbs up to this I would. I've heard women call in with resembling situations and they were coddling the female. Poor you, he is a loser, take the house and everything he owns.
No, they wouldn't. I've heard them get tough on women.
Agreed. Dave would never shame a woman so freely.
@@TheAck201 I have. I've heard them tell women they need to get a job, work from home, or something. You just don't follow the channel enough. He does believe the man is the head of the household, but he definitely has told women to get out and work, especially if in debt.
Quit playing the "man is always the victim" game. They only told the man that he also played a part in letting his wife get away with her behavior for so many years, so needs to own up to that part which was his responsibility to leave way before 30 years had passed.
As a man thinks so he is. Take personal ownership, I love it.
She may need to reimburse him for childcare all the years
He may legally be the child's father.
I agree. However, that would be a tough one to pull off.
You better believe it! It happens in Florida too. I endured financial abuse from the ex-husband and at divorce he was awarded permanent alimony from me even though I am a poor teacher who supported him. He even enjoyed free health insurance. I understand John’s situation. Judges don’t have the awareness of these particulars in complicated relationships. Recently in Florida, Gov DeSantis VETOED SB1796- intended to do away with this type of private welfare. In the meantime, I have to keep paying permanent welfare to my EX.
Man, I feel like they didn’t treat this poor guy with much respect. We all look past minor things in relationships…. He just found out his daughter wasn’t his. What a horrible thing to go through…
Hope nothing but the best John. Fight her in court, and don’t give an inch. Document all her bad behavior. And infidelity. She doesn’t deserve alimony, she belongs to the streets
Yes. Both of them treated him like s…. He may have issues of his own
I think they could have been more compassionate, for his sake. But I see where they’re coming from. He’s spent 30 years talking himself out of his own responsibility and agency. I think they’re trying to shake him out of it. He has let this person operate as she pleases, while modeling that to a child, for decades.
Some people fall into playing martyr when they have a spouse like that, and it brings its own damage to themselves, the relationship, and the family.
@@kattno6582 I agree but I didn’t hear that from the caller. To me it sounds like he married a narcissist, and they tend to be extremely cunning and manipulative. I am sure he isn’t a saint, but if I opened up to someone by saying my wife is a gambling addict and I just found out my child wasn’t mine and their response was “you both are a mess get your house in order”….. man that’s brutal.
Alimony wouldn’t ever happen period, don’t care what the court says.
They were way too harsh on him but I do agree he should have called out her behavior a long time ago.
Live the Free Agent lifestyle
One thing that Dave and Dr. John (living in Tennessee) don't realize, he's getting divorced in California - he's toast if he gets divorced!
Everything about California is a mess. My husband and I sold our business and left California in 2003. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.
Can’t imagine half his life gone just a long lie
Something I felt for myself is I can keep waisting time being unhappy or I can get going I do everything and be everything I have ever wanted and stop waiting time.
That is the way.
Life is too short.
I’m doing it for the kids 10 years to go