Boyfriend Wants To "Test-Run" Living Together! (He Will Propose If I Do Well)

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  • Опубликовано: 19 фев 2023
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Комментарии • 901

  • @ak8990
    @ak8990 5 месяцев назад +291

    I got married at almost 30 yrs of age. One of my values was remaining a virgin until I got married. I can't tell you the amount of men who I dated who tried to talk me into sex, and then quickly dumped me after they realized I was serious about remaining a virgin. The ONLY guy who never tried to cross boundaries and was very respectful of my values was the man I ended up marrying. I never had a moments trouble with him during our dating. I asked him about that one day and he responded, "Well, I'm planning on marrying you anyways, so there is no problem with me waiting, and what is important to you is important to me." We have been married for over 8 years and three kids later, he is the best partner I could have ever asked for. If a man really wants to marry you, he will make your beliefs and priorities important to him.

    • @amznmmdprncss
      @amznmmdprncss 3 месяца назад +15

      That was so touching!

    • @brendapeterson2576
      @brendapeterson2576 3 месяца назад +14

      This was beautiful ❤
      May your marriage and family continue to thrive.

    • @bobbylibertini
      @bobbylibertini 2 месяца назад +11

      I can't tell you how many women dumped me because (In their own words) I "didn't do anything"...on the first date no less..with a veritable stranger! Bless you for staying a virgin till marriage.....it's a rare commodity these days, but worth holding out for; and it serves as a good tool to automatically weed-out the rejects who do not share your values/who would not work for you.

    • @thebelissima64
      @thebelissima64 2 месяца назад +10

      I loved your comment and I wish you the best in your marriage ❤ My dear 26 year old nephew has been attending med school, where met a lovely girl. She straight up told him on their first date that she was a virgin and was set on waiting until marriage. Like yourself she had many guys who thought it was a deal breaker and walked away. But it was no problem for my nephew. They got engaged over Christmas 2022 and are going to marry in May 2025. As we have an open conversation I asked him how he has been able to wait as he is not a virgin himself and very handsome, with many girls giving him the eye. He said his fiancée has many amazing qualities and he didn't need to go to bed with her to fall in love. He added that if waiting until marriage is important to her it's important to him, that he sincerely loves, respects and admires her for her values. She is a sweetheart and our family adores her. I am so thrilled for them ❤

    • @brendacarlson6575
      @brendacarlson6575 Месяц назад +3

      So proud that you respected yourself, have good morals, values, dignit and set boundaries. To wait until marriage is a beautiful gift. Being totally committed to one person is a truly beautiful devotion and loyalty. I have been married for 44 years and only been with my husband, we totally love each other.

  • @lmcg....
    @lmcg.... Год назад +470

    He's a tester, it will never end, there will be tests til the bitter end and you will hate it. You don't want a tester, there's no trust and constant scutiny.

    • @drunclecookie216
      @drunclecookie216 Год назад +15

      or maybe he's just cautious. I see so many people who are blindly "in love" and think they're gonna be together forever and everything is perfect and not even a year later they're divorced. I just described half of my friends.

    • @zoraster3749
      @zoraster3749 Год назад +19

      Women are constant testers, so by extension of your logic…

    • @KENTUCKYUSA1
      @KENTUCKYUSA1 Год назад +17

      I know what you mean by tester. I had a boyfriend like that a very long time ago. He always set up these "tests" and I could see right through him. It was stressful. Breaking up, which he instigated, was almost a relief.

    • @facelessman5362
      @facelessman5362 Год назад +2

      Why is it okay for women to be 'testers' though?

    • @zoraster3749
      @zoraster3749 Год назад

      @@facelessman5362 Biologically, women have the larger investment, risk and insecurity in relationships because of child birth and rearing so they instinctively ”test” their men for strength. If a man can’t handle them how can he be relied upon to handle the environment or defend against other men?
      Not that this testing is productive or even beneficial in modern times but it is a byproduct of our evolutionary past.

  • @cita_m
    @cita_m Год назад +622

    Girl, I would run like the gingerbread man. He's essentially asking you to interview for the position of being his wife.

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 Год назад +38

      Suggested edit: audition for the position of wife.
      Read that somewhere. Wants you to audition for the role of wife, without auditioning for the role of husband.

    • @beesknees213
      @beesknees213 Год назад +14

      YES..the gingerbread man...run like him.... don't get caught!

    • @MooMoo69556
      @MooMoo69556 Год назад +24

      What’s wrong with that?

    • @SnerMerNer
      @SnerMerNer Год назад

      Do you realize how dumb and entitled this comment sounds?

    • @dontworry1568
      @dontworry1568 Год назад +14

      thats what dating is... but it also goes both ways.

  • @prudencek7087
    @prudencek7087 Год назад +242

    To the caller, the advice they gave you is not an ultimatum, it is a boundary. Set the boundaries you want; your boundaries are there for your protection.

    • @mobileclips7737
      @mobileclips7737 Год назад +1

      Definition-a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations. It’s both… It’s her demand that they get married before she moves in with him or their relationship will end. She’s stating her terms and they are telling her not to compromise at all and if he doesn’t agree breakup. That’s literally the definition of an ultimatum. Not defending the guy it sounds like he’s doing the same thing but worse. However the advice was an ultimatum and sitting down and talking about it and maybe finding some agreeable middle ground would be better and if they can’t find agreeable grounds then it probably is a sign things won’t work.

    • @mobileclips7737
      @mobileclips7737 Год назад +8

      To my point above if she doesn’t want to move in before marriage and he does then it sounds like their morals don’t line up with each other and they probably shouldn’t be dating in the first place. But I also don’t know them so what do I know or anyone in these comments lol

    • @prudencek7087
      @prudencek7087 Год назад +6

      @@mobileclips7737 what they told her was not an ultimatum. It wasn't "a you better marry me, then I'll move in or else we break up." It's "my standard that I've set for myself is that I will not move in with someone unless I am married to them." What the guy does with that information is up to him. He can wait for marriage to move in with her, or if he doesn't want to do that then he can find someone else who agrees to live the way he wants and the caller is free to do the same, find someone that shares her values. There is a difference between an ultimatum and a boundary.

    • @illhaveanother8173
      @illhaveanother8173 5 месяцев назад

      That isn't her standard though. That is the ultimatum these two men proposed her to pitch.

  • @larissaalcorn3406
    @larissaalcorn3406 Год назад +309

    "He will propose if I do well." This dude is already treating her like a child. Run.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Год назад +8

      He is doing the right thing. Does she cook, do laundry, clean, attend to other household tasks?
      She's vetting him out, rest assured. Does he have the right career, does he earn enough money? Does he elevate her socially? People are allowed to state their standards. It's up to us to determine whether or not those standards are acceptable.

    • @kbthegoat824
      @kbthegoat824 Год назад +7

      He will propose if they get along living together...get it right. He clearly said he wants to see how compatible they are to each other, that goes both ways.

    • @larissaalcorn3406
      @larissaalcorn3406 Год назад +31

      @@kbthegoat824 The show literally quotes her in the title, sweetpea. It's not about seeing if they are compatible. Dude is dangling proposal over her head like a parent dangles an allowance over a child. Ladies, run from these dudes in these replies. Find a man who treats you with dignity. Not someone who views you as child or worse a dog to be trained.

    • @larissaalcorn3406
      @larissaalcorn3406 Год назад +19

      @@texan903 It's not about standards when you're dangling proposal over someone's head like they are a dog begging for a treat.

    • @nikolaig1
      @nikolaig1 Год назад +1

      Thats how relationship work if you do well you continue to date❤❤

  • @kerryfitting6070
    @kerryfitting6070 Год назад +265

    She knew something was up or she wouldn't have called. Follow your gut, girl! We wish you the best!

  • @queen4u281
    @queen4u281 Год назад +165

    She’s going to move in because she’s known him since middle school🙄. She’s too invested in this relationship to not do it. She sounds naive.

    • @LovelifeJesusdaily
      @LovelifeJesusdaily Год назад +3

      I know...

    • @LovelifeJesusdaily
      @LovelifeJesusdaily Год назад +1

      People change as they grow... but we stay stack on how they used to be

    • @nailatiylluf
      @nailatiylluf 5 месяцев назад +19

      So they’re been together for like ten years and he’s still not sure?

    • @DaleC1980
      @DaleC1980 5 месяцев назад +6

      Yes, she was naive but she also seemed like some light bulbs were going on. And let's not be too hard on the guy. If she sets the boundaries, and he responds correctly, it could be great for him too!

    • @peacebeyondpassion2
      @peacebeyondpassion2 3 месяца назад +2

      That's what love does sometimes. Deaf, dumb, and blind.

  • @brandya.g.1401
    @brandya.g.1401 Год назад +563

    Never do wife duties at girlfriend prices.

    • @elizabethallen4353
      @elizabethallen4353 Год назад +17

      perfectly said

    • @ralegade7710
      @ralegade7710 Год назад +25

      Blessed is the man that findeth a wife.
      She needs to be a wife before he decides to marry her. In any other aspect of life, we train for the role we wish to fill. Why act like a girlfriend when you ultimately wish to be a wife?

    • @hornetguy9063
      @hornetguy9063 Год назад +1

      @@ralegade7710 correct.

    • @boxesbinslidsllc
      @boxesbinslidsllc Год назад +34

      @@ralegade7710 You need to be a husband before you can expect to get a wife.

    • @steelcastle5616
      @steelcastle5616 Год назад +8

      I can't count how often I've heard guys complain about wishing their wives would act more like "girlfriends".
      Seems sometimes you don't get (or get less of) what you pay for when you get married.

  • @James_Hough
    @James_Hough 5 месяцев назад +46

    A "test run" shows shows a lack of commitment. Plain and simple.

  • @beverlyweber171
    @beverlyweber171 5 месяцев назад +33

    You're not a car. RUN.

    • @scott4825
      @scott4825 26 дней назад +1

      Nobody lets you borrow a car for 6 months before buying it. :). So much worse.

    • @clearsky4003
      @clearsky4003 День назад

      A car is expensive, depending on what you buy but understandable for customer who want a test drive but a test run for relationship? Laugh my head off!

  • @ceecee8757
    @ceecee8757 Год назад +355

    Don't play house. Don't give wifey benefits when you're not a wifey yet. Soul ties are real!

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 Год назад +33

      Men do not risk your future for a woman that can take half your wealth

    • @reese85
      @reese85 Год назад +4

      Wth is soul ties?

    • @peteranon8455
      @peteranon8455 Год назад +6

      @@reese85 That's what previously used to be physical intimacy. Now It's just what non-virgins call the intangible benefits of marriage.

    • @RoyalMasterpiece
      @RoyalMasterpiece Год назад +2

      🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 Год назад +1

      Listen to Bishop RC Blakes.

  • @stephenjacquelitle8524
    @stephenjacquelitle8524 Год назад +48

    Don't give in. Run. He's waving a big RED flag.

  • @EdelweisSusie
    @EdelweisSusie 3 месяца назад +20

    One additional point John should have said to Celest - DON'T GET PREGNANT!!!
    On a personal note this video is so enlightening as it highlighted that had my ex and stayed together, the 'benefits' would all have been in his favour ie HE would have had the live-in lover, the sensational cook, the great homemaker, the willing companion for trips/holidays/adventures, the empathetic ear to HIS work problems etc but what would I have got out of it? NO engagement ring, NO offer of marriage (he'd been 'burned' by his wife), NO 'equal partners' who are there for one another no matter what. WOW - did I dodge a bullet !!!

  • @alphafemale7904
    @alphafemale7904 9 месяцев назад +107

    Take it from a woman who moved in with her boyfriend 24 years ago while he was living in the basement of his brother's house. He proposed, we bought a house prior to getting married. Everything was 50/50 then and it still is now. All transactional, void of intimacy, emotional fulfillment just blah. He is a roommate to me today. Don't do it. Men become dependent on your half and don't care what it takes for you to meet your end. They just need a willing partner. Let him handle the bills AFTER he marries her. He is supposed to be a provider. These 50/50 relationships become very neglectful in the future and her naivety is what he has on his side right now. I was young and dumb, too. I can't get the years back but she can save herself the trouble now. I wouldn't even pay a percentage. Noooooo

    • @ClearOutSamskaras
      @ClearOutSamskaras 4 месяца назад +12

      This is an absolutely _priceless_ comment you've made here.

    • @simplyelvi5676
      @simplyelvi5676 3 месяца назад +8

      Thank you for your vulnerability! You are a queen and deserve the world

    • @Dean543-cc3fd
      @Dean543-cc3fd 2 месяца назад +10

      How dare your husband make you carry some financial responsibility in the household, the audacity😱

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 Месяц назад +4

      I met a man who had been working and spending for 9yrs before he met me. He had nothing but his paycheck, and debt. I was finishing my degree. I helped him turn his finances around as his gf, I didn't live with him, I was a student in another city. I just didn't demand he spend money on me, and I pointed out his impulse spending habits. After I graduated, worked a yr we got married after buying a small house 50/ 50. His parents were so surprised that he grew up. Well after 6 yrs of marriage, a bigger house, and financial stability, his unknown to me gf was pregnant, so I freed up his future, took my 50% and left. So all the snark about making one or the other bare all financial burdens, is unfair. Both need to contribute, and then it adjusts when childcare enters the picture. His new gf was a Welfare non worker, so yep he walked into babies and only his income. I think I was used for my earning potential. He died young. Oh well.

    • @bangladeshirealtor
      @bangladeshirealtor Месяц назад +1

      @@Dean543-cc3fdnot some , half ….thats a big difference 🙄

  • @TyB211
    @TyB211 Год назад +280

    Basically the guy wants you to audition to be his wife... If he doesn't want to marry you now out of love, then why would he 18 months from now.

    • @gumshoe7237
      @gumshoe7237 Год назад +8

      That's the comment I was looking for .. You move in together with someone when it hurts more to be without them and you find yourself missing them on a daily basis if there not there.. Guy or gal , if you don' have that level of feeling towards your significant other , then don't waste each others time and burn up each other's heart in the process..

    • @Evil-Rod-Farva
      @Evil-Rod-Farva Год назад +22

      You interview for jobs and promotions. Why would interviewing for the role of wife be any different?
      This isn’t 1920. Women are not frequently raised to be loving caregivers that stay loyal to their families for decades.
      It’s better to sniff that out before she has the power of the state behind her.

    • @TyB211
      @TyB211 Год назад +38

      @@Evil-Rod-Farva The interview is the dating and courting process. If you need to move in with someone to see if they're worthy of marriage then it's off to a bad start.

    • @I_like_turtles_67
      @I_like_turtles_67 Год назад +4

      @@TyB211 So where's your husband?

    • @TyB211
      @TyB211 Год назад +27

      @@I_like_turtles_67 Right now? Currently at work.

  • @melanieb2132
    @melanieb2132 Год назад +42

    My boyfriend asked me to move up with him. I said no. He said "will you marry me" I said yes.

    • @robloxvids2233
      @robloxvids2233 Год назад +3

      Unconditional love right there..

    • @melanieb2132
      @melanieb2132 Год назад +15

      @robloxvids2233 absolutely. Conditional on marriage. I was not interested in loving without marriage.

    • @rhsc2670
      @rhsc2670 Год назад +1

      clown

    • @melanieb2132
      @melanieb2132 Год назад +21

      @rhsc2670 a married clown with a happy husband that doesn't care what you think. 😘

    • @aceyshari
      @aceyshari Год назад +4

  • @traceejohnson290
    @traceejohnson290 Год назад +24

    Also a Proposal is Not Marriage, wait until married. There are many couples that stay engaged for many years.

  • @kaitlinmasten2716
    @kaitlinmasten2716 Год назад +211

    You can still live separately and spend significant time together and see how he manages a household- see if he wants a partner or needs a mother.

    • @the1anonymouse
      @the1anonymouse Год назад +38

      There's definitely a big difference between hanging out a lot and living together

    • @rnt45t1
      @rnt45t1 Год назад +11

      Women ruin men's lives!

    • @nly4607
      @nly4607 Год назад +17

      This attitude is why 45% of women over 35 are childless lol

    • @elizabethallen4353
      @elizabethallen4353 Год назад +4

      100%

    • @jeannet7443
      @jeannet7443 Год назад +4

      Well said!

  • @tvlergee
    @tvlergee Год назад +49

    Poor girl, I can tell by how sweet she sounds she’s not gonna take this advice. Hopefully she makes the team 🤷🏽‍♂️

  • @kokoskokso
    @kokoskokso Год назад +92

    Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
    My ex tried this on me and when I insisted on marriage, he played along until HIS apartment was all fixed up and then THANK GOD cancelled on his "plans" the day before he was to propose (my birthday) and I was to move in after that. I thanked him for the clarity and helping me make a clean break - I never had to doubt us breaking up was right.
    If a guy talks like this already and ignores your boundaries, he's got a whole plan in place and you're just a placeholder in it (who plays house, gives s.x and pays half HIS mortgage) until THE ONE comes along. Sorry, you're not it. All he wants is wife duties for girlfriend prices.
    Loved the advice here, spot on. State your boundaries and OBSERVE. Ultimately, the person you're with should make you feel better, not worse.

  • @MustardseedMomma68
    @MustardseedMomma68 Год назад +75

    Do not live with him. RUN!

  • @brianlewis8722
    @brianlewis8722 Год назад +11

    There are too many good men out there who would sacrifice their lives for the women they love...this guy doesn't sound like one of them.

  • @jercasgav
    @jercasgav 5 месяцев назад +11

    Isn't it pretty sick how much our so-called "modern" society has cheapened the meaning and respect that we human beings should have for each other?! The mainstream culture teaches people to disrespect others and treat them as disposable...like objects more than humans with souls really...not cool! We should all value ourselves and others more by having proper boundaries and respect.

  • @Kona_Blue
    @Kona_Blue Год назад +13

    Girl have more respect. Never move in before marriage

  • @tanyad3989
    @tanyad3989 Год назад +11

    Your life is not a used car dealership. No, he can’t take your for a test drive. You’re not a used vehicle. Ridiculous.

  • @JA-zh5xi
    @JA-zh5xi Год назад +67

    I would leave the guy instantly.

  • @wenchyfoodwench4098
    @wenchyfoodwench4098 Год назад +23

    Tell him you want to test run dating someone else. She should break up with him or set him straight. Have their own places until they get married. But I still say dump him lol.

    • @mazzar2739
      @mazzar2739 Год назад +1

      Dump him for being a responsible adult & not rushing into a marriage which may not be compatible? I think people in the comments are painting this as the guy as "test running her" but isn't it also the other way around? Can't you make an argument that the women should do the same? To you know, see if they are compatible??? Why in the world would you marry somebody before figuring out they leave dishes around the house, stay up really late, etc. Did all that just fly over your head?

    • @jadehalliday6636
      @jadehalliday6636 Месяц назад +1

      I think you'll find the majority of the people are triggered by this guy's behavior is because it benefits him more than her & it will leave her finacially vulnerable if it goes south. I mean, why would you play house with someone if you're not entirely sure about them & they have to audition for the role of husband or wife?
      The dating / courtship phase is when you find out about someone's true character & values. Not when you're playing house.

    • @jadehalliday6636
      @jadehalliday6636 Месяц назад +1

      By the way, they weren't encouraging her to dump him. They were encouraging her to set a boundary.

  • @carolinemcnulty6169
    @carolinemcnulty6169 Год назад +46

    After 45 years of marriage, I can say that commitment is key. Loyalty is what keeps you together during the scratchy times until you figure out how to resolve problems.

  • @RMalai
    @RMalai Год назад +24

    You purchase a home without living in it 😄. The seller will not allow to to test-live before signing the contract. Don't have to live together to know the person better. youth have plenty of opportunities these days to know each other better.

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 Год назад +3

      It’s too bad about homes, because it’s only after living in it that you discover there light glaring in your windows at night and the neighbors smoke and make noise.

  • @linuxsurfer2002
    @linuxsurfer2002 Год назад +17

    Great advice here by the Ramsey personalities. Please do not move in with someone before you get married to them. It's a recipe for disaster, and as mentioned by the hosts, it increases your odds for divorce.

  • @kindredkey
    @kindredkey Год назад +106

    Morals aside regarding living together or not living together... if you don't feel comfortable with it, if you're not in agreement with the offer, make a counter offer (which is what John + Ken seem to be suggesting) OR walk away from the deal. I know your heart's involved, BUT you will be proud of yourself for sticking up for yourself! - It's painful to lose love HOWEVER it's even more painful to betray yourself.

    • @KanaTron
      @KanaTron Год назад +5

      Also, with this dudes thinking... if she doesn't lose him now, it will be later. The pain will still be there in both sections of the timeline, but, the longer it takes the worse it will be. It's better to find out now.

    • @Arlene_DOTK
      @Arlene_DOTK Год назад +2

      Amen 🙌

    • @RoxanneR8375
      @RoxanneR8375 17 дней назад

      What this guy is offering is NOT love. He is just using her.

  • @tspencer661
    @tspencer661 Год назад +21

    I would say no to moving in with your boyfriend without an engagement or set plans to marry. The rate of divorce goes up. For cohabitating couples. I’ve also heard that the rate of domestic violence goes up as well. I read this in one of Willard Harley’s books. I haven’t done the research, but he has.
    This woman has standards. If her boyfriend can’t respect her standards, that’s his problem.

  • @jimroscovius
    @jimroscovius Год назад +15

    We got married at 23, and we're on year 41. It's been great!!

    • @kokoskokso
      @kokoskokso Год назад

      congrats, sounds awesome! what's your recipe for finding that one person and for staying together that long?

  • @Msteve-nt5bx
    @Msteve-nt5bx Год назад +17

    You're not a car. Say no

  • @random-nz7dy
    @random-nz7dy Год назад +111

    Ken and John did a great job on this call.
    People like to hate on a personalities but sometimes when the right call comes their way they do a really really nice job of answering it.
    Also some pairings just work well with them. John and Ken seem to do really well together.

    • @AmandaRogersarock1988
      @AmandaRogersarock1988 Год назад +1

      Yeah I actually really agree with this advice with these two (which isn't always the case). But the caller knows what she wants and she should stick to her guns!

    • @WISHBONEL7
      @WISHBONEL7 Год назад

      He has a 50/50 chance if he does not test her . He may increase his odds by a few points if he takes a test drive , Because , outside of the *fornication* issue , he is exactly right . Hopefully he is not in a state that recognizes common law .

    • @IWillSendMyHunters
      @IWillSendMyHunters Год назад +1

      @@WISHBONEL7He’s actually not because as statistics show couples that move in together before getting married have a HIGHER chance of divorce.

    • @WISHBONEL7
      @WISHBONEL7 Год назад

      @@IWillSendMyHunters X2 #1 Please state your *sources* . As much as I like listening to Ramsey , that is the main issue that l I have with his show.
      # 2 Did you hear what their ages are ?!? . Does the data that you are going to submit take that factor into account ? .

    • @IWillSendMyHunters
      @IWillSendMyHunters Год назад

      @@WISHBONEL7 Institute of Family Studies.

  • @vikasd.7139
    @vikasd.7139 Год назад +14

    where i was growing up, shops didn't have a concept of "returns". People bought what they needed and were mostly happy. Now, here, when returns are free and acceptable, people buy things they don't really need and return a few times and srill don't end up happy with what they got and in the process, devalue the items they returned. Or they just take the advantage of the free returns, without intention of responaibility of paying.

  • @zacd7094
    @zacd7094 Год назад +29

    My gf at the time (now wife) found a house for 80k we both had 8k saved up and saw a great opportunity to live together. We sold the house two yrs later for 150k and got married about midway through the two years. We built a home and are very blessed. Doesn’t work for everyone but it made us grow up quick!

    • @jeffb.4800
      @jeffb.4800 Год назад +9

      This isn't 1980

    • @alfonsosalinas3026
      @alfonsosalinas3026 Год назад +2

      I call bs that you flipped house almost double the price in two years

    • @brendondowdy5651
      @brendondowdy5651 Год назад +3

      ​@@alfonsosalinas3026 it's 100% possible depending on when it was and the circumstances they got the house. Especially if it was a good foreclosure around 2019

    • @zacd7094
      @zacd7094 Год назад +1

      @@brendondowdy5651 no foreclosure house had been rented out it was an extra home starting to grow up I knew the lady called and she made me the deal

    • @brendondowdy5651
      @brendondowdy5651 Год назад

      @@zacd7094 ah. Yeah I knew under some circumstances it was for sure possible. Great job!

  • @Venusstar22
    @Venusstar22 11 месяцев назад +10

    This young lady does not KNOW and UNDERSTAND her own WORTH. She's essentially being AUDITIONED for the role of wife while he sits there like a king that rules over her and will tell her if she's ""good enough"" and got the part based on what HE thinks. To rely on some one else for your affirmation as to who you are is DANGEROUS. You have given that person such power over your life and soul. Who cares about what he thinks.....what about what God thinks???? I'll say it again, SHE DOES NOT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND HER WORTH. That is how you get manipulated and taken advantage of.

  • @sophiawish9772
    @sophiawish9772 4 месяца назад +6

    Run, girl, run!!!!!!!

  • @phillipsouthard8285
    @phillipsouthard8285 Год назад +42

    I like when these two host together.

    • @yourgooglemeister6745
      @yourgooglemeister6745 Год назад +3

      We found the simp!

    • @superblump87
      @superblump87 Год назад +4

      @@yourgooglemeister6745 we found the incel!

    • @phillipsouthard8285
      @phillipsouthard8285 Год назад

      @@yourgooglemeister6745 Maybe. Beats most of the other hosts of this show, outside of Rachel sometimes.

    • @kasession
      @kasession Год назад

      YEP!!!! 👍🏿

    • @Dark_Souls_3
      @Dark_Souls_3 Год назад +4

      @@yourgooglemeister6745 so you insult someone unprompted? That’s so cool

  • @wandamajette5000
    @wandamajette5000 3 месяца назад +9

    You mean to tell me after all of the years they have known each other that's not good enough. She still has to audition to be his wife.
    OH PULEEZ!!!!

  • @ninangako4715
    @ninangako4715 Год назад +54

    That guy is so smart! He gets all the "goodies" while rating GF's performance each time. And unfortunately she has no idea of self respect/self value. She's not ready for marriage. She should wait.

    • @kokoskokso
      @kokoskokso Год назад +11

      yeah, the whole deal he proposes is kind of insulting (in addition to completele devaluing her needs and her happiness)

    • @rory644
      @rory644 Год назад +1

      She’s just a child their brains aren’t even fully developed yet.

  • @MsMockingbird06
    @MsMockingbird06 Год назад +17

    I completely agree with John and Ken. Great fatherly advice.

  • @nancyt6895
    @nancyt6895 Год назад +8

    That's a big nope. Listen to these men. They are absolutely gonna save you heartache and headaches. Ken and John, great advice:)

  • @lav7161
    @lav7161 Год назад +7

    She sounds super young. She's not gonna listen. She's going to learn the hard way.

  • @txgirlaustin8432
    @txgirlaustin8432 7 месяцев назад +6

    Women are not cars that men gotta test drive before they buy it!! Some men just want to move in with a girl, so they can do their laundry, cook, clean etc. I’m not doing all that until he says: “I do”!!😬✌️

  • @beautywinsfails8867
    @beautywinsfails8867 Год назад +7

    She sounds so young and naive.

  • @thisisme5323
    @thisisme5323 Год назад +7

    I appreciate the advice specially coming from a man. It brings a difference point of view that sometimes us women doesn't see. Thank you

  • @limepiper3650
    @limepiper3650 Год назад +5

    Leave him. He is using this as an excuse.

  • @dianahardwick9327
    @dianahardwick9327 Год назад +11

    Great advice you two gave this young lady 👏

  • @kristopherrainbolt2617
    @kristopherrainbolt2617 Год назад +11

    The relationship is over already

  • @ethangamer3173
    @ethangamer3173 Год назад +6

    At the end of the day *NOTHING* can stop a divorce, no magic words, in front of the entire world or paper documents

  • @littleripper312
    @littleripper312 Год назад +8

    Maybe what they could do is she gets the townhouse and he pays rent to her and she can decide if she wants to marry him? Then he gets his little testing out period and if he's that serious about wanting it he shouldn't mind reversing the roles.

  • @skynyrdgirl644
    @skynyrdgirl644 Год назад +11

    Leave him now!

  • @cesaravegah3787
    @cesaravegah3787 Год назад +7

    Not a good idea, marry or dont, those "playing house" things usually dont end well.

  • @allisona6482
    @allisona6482 Год назад +10

    Thank you so much for providing this insight to this young woman. I hope she is able to put this advice to use and that everything works out for her!

  • @melissakalloway1916
    @melissakalloway1916 Год назад +15

    There's an old expression: "Why should he buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free?"

  • @rhonda8231
    @rhonda8231 Год назад +8

    I wish that I could have had good advice like this when I was young. Great job, guys

  • @brendamoon2660
    @brendamoon2660 Месяц назад +2

    He does not want to marry her. He wants her to split his bills while he is single.

  • @nantinee9
    @nantinee9 Год назад +68

    Love this advice from John and Ken!

  • @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries
    @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries Год назад +65

    I've seen so many examples both for and against getting married and then living together, and vice versa. Bottom line, if you're not happy with the proposed arrangement (living together before marriage), don't do it. The boyfriend either agrees or he doesn't. There's no compromise for her in this. Likewise for him. If he needs to know and doesn't feel comfortable making a lifelong commitment until they live together and he sees how she really lives day to day, if she helps out or just sits around all day, then it's a no go for him as well. No judgment on either. I've had several girlfriends laugh about how they were on their best behavior until they got married and then they could really be themselves becausw now their husbands were stuck with them I'm like uhhhhh. Not cool.

    • @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries
      @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries Год назад +13

      Needless to say, I'm not friends with them anymore.

    • @MNP208
      @MNP208 Год назад +4

      Agreed

    • @tgar6663
      @tgar6663 Год назад +6

      You're a Good woman

    • @J03LM1
      @J03LM1 Год назад +3

      I happy to see someone think soberly about this. There are too many ppl just making hardline judgements about this call. When in actuality nobody has enough info to judge.
      They're bashing this dude like they know who he is. And taking the woman's side like they know who she is.
      My personal opinion is If you don't have conviction about being in a committed union with someone u shouldn't do it. That goes for marriage and moving in.

    • @roberttorres7208
      @roberttorres7208 Год назад +1

      well put

  • @bradwilliams4921
    @bradwilliams4921 Год назад +28

    Celest sounds like a good person. I hope God blesses her.

  • @analyticalchick3064
    @analyticalchick3064 5 месяцев назад +2

    My husband and I met online. Then we got on the phone and covered the important stuff before I flew out here to meet him and we got engaged. Do you guys have the save/spend outlook on money? Do you guys have the same values on messy/clean? Do you both want or not want kids? What if you don't have them? Do you have the same views on IVF? Do you have the same views on abortion? Do you have the same religion? What if one of you wants to change careers? If you have kids will you stay home with them daycare or nanny? Homeschool? What if you have a disabled child? Watch some cases of divorce court and make sure things that break couples up you have a similar outlook. "I've known him since Middle School" will not hold you guys together.

  • @Whoiskevinjones
    @Whoiskevinjones Год назад +12

    FINALLY!!! Been waiting to hear this advice.

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa Год назад +5

    Yep. No test runs...................except you can run away from him.

  • @TanNguyen-nq9nj
    @TanNguyen-nq9nj Год назад +13

    The clown was trying to take advantage of the woman. Run away! Find a real man that respect you and can put your benefits in front of his.

  • @bunny1979
    @bunny1979 Год назад +19

    He wants a roommate not a wife

  • @merys333
    @merys333 2 месяца назад +2

    My ex lived with his ex for over 4 years raising her child. I couldn’t comprehend why not married if they were friends for 20+ years. Tried to tell me he doesn’t do titles, I walked. Go waste somebody else’s life

  • @joanofarcxxi
    @joanofarcxxi 4 месяца назад +3

    A woman is not a car. You don't get to test drive.

  • @joshua38410
    @joshua38410 Год назад +20

    These guys are pitiful
    If the guy is the one that has to buy the Ring
    If the guy is the one that gives her his resources and protection
    If the guy is the one who has to propose…
    If the guy could careless if he even gets married or not and is most likely doing it for his woman
    Why on earth should he not want to see how his woman is like while living with him? Shouldnt he see what he might have to live with for the rest of his life?

    • @janelleg597
      @janelleg597 Год назад +6

      No matter what, you will learn something you don't like about a person during marriage. You strengthen your relationship by communicating, compromising, and working together towards a solution. If you get married, you work it out. People are frickin lazy and selfish these days

    • @JA-zh5xi
      @JA-zh5xi Год назад +2

      No

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 Год назад +6

      When it does not work out, she can walk away with half his wealth.

    • @Wuncler
      @Wuncler Год назад

      It’s all set up for the woman

    • @anthonys7534
      @anthonys7534 Год назад +4

      You learn all this when dating. Been married for thirty years, we dated for two years prior. I knew she was the one. No need to test run things. You will know in your heart!

  • @denisemckinney3973
    @denisemckinney3973 17 дней назад +1

    The fact that he needs an “out” is a huge red flag. He creeps me out!

  • @Aminah6623
    @Aminah6623 4 месяца назад +2

    22 making $65K. That's pretty good. Girl, don't play yourself.

  • @yamamancha
    @yamamancha Год назад +8

    As the saying goes, never pay for something someone is willing to give you for free. Baby girl it is time for you to lock it down. Tell him you're not for lease.
    In fact, go buy a nice little ring and propose to him. If he hesitates, then he's not seeing you in the same way you see him. Then you know it's time to move on.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Год назад +2

      Her proposing to him will make her look absolutely ridiculous and desperate.

    • @sherriewoods8015
      @sherriewoods8015 Месяц назад +1

      @@texan903 The guy looks absolutely ridiculous and desperate as he has ZERO character. But yet, because the woman has character and wants to express her desires and needs, she's desperate according to you. Apparently, in this world, a man can act however he wants with no consequences. That's NOT the case in God's world. Amen! Amen!

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Месяц назад

      @sherriewoods8015 Sherrie, I see you are a year late to the party. In any case, I said what I meant, and I meant what I said. Take it or leave it.

    • @sherriewoods8015
      @sherriewoods8015 Месяц назад

      @@texan903
      "Texan", I am right on time.
      The only time it matters that you say what you mean and mean what you say is if it is the truth and exhibits character. Otherwise, it is a broken vessel.
      God means what he says and says what he means. Proverbs 18:22 KJV. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing..." Her desiring marriage is biblical. Expressing that does not make anyone desperate or ridiculous. If a man doesn't want to be married, then leave a woman alone. I Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every many have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
      "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whasoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.." Galatians 6:7 KJV.
      I don't have to take or leave anything, except that I mean what I say and say what I mean.
      Now, I am leaving this "party."

    • @texan903
      @texan903 Месяц назад

      @sherriewoods8015 He finds a wife finds a good thing. That scripture says it all. Nowhere does it say that she who finds a husband finds a good thing. Wording matters. Have a lovely weekend.

  • @randyebastian8186
    @randyebastian8186 Год назад +26

    Awesome advice, guys! Integrity, Ethics, and Moral Fiber = Character

  • @janicewright4007
    @janicewright4007 3 месяца назад +1

    “Mmm ok.” “Oh wow.”
    Girlfriend is moving in. I hope I’m wrong.

  • @billmelater6470
    @billmelater6470 Год назад +2

    Where did this whole test run thing start? You're either committed or you're not. If you're still wondering, the you don't shack up with them.

  • @emptysoul5057
    @emptysoul5057 3 месяца назад +3

    Don't move in don't let him play house inside you and end up a single mom of three kids that gets dumped and then he'll be off with someone younger he actually likes 5 minutes after the split

  • @Girasoles
    @Girasoles Год назад +4

    This was a great call. Loved what ken said!

  • @bodhisattva2348
    @bodhisattva2348 7 месяцев назад +1

    What dr john says at 1:50 really hits hard. U have to work it out when u married 😂

  • @curiouscat3384
    @curiouscat3384 Год назад +2

    It is very common for people to live together for a year or two, then get married, and the whole dynamic changes and they're divorced in a year. The "test-run" should be dating long enough to go through the 4 seasons, and preferably for two years before GETTING MARRIED - not shacking up.

  • @limepiper3650
    @limepiper3650 Год назад +4

    Unfortunately she will probably move with him, waste her youth. I hope she wakes up.

  • @pandabear7177
    @pandabear7177 4 месяца назад +3

    I would run. This is him showing his red flags in a bouquet and seeing if she’ll run.
    🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩

  • @meggold3422
    @meggold3422 2 месяца назад

    The guys are absolutely right. Boundaries are there for safety and respect. Anyone who finds reasons to cross them doesn't care about either. The guy I'm engaged to now has gone through a lot to be with me. Things have been difficult, and we're not perfect, but we're a team. If your boyfriend is willing to be uncomfortable for you, as well as go to counseling to learn to be in a healthy relationship with someone, then that's a great sign. If he's unwilling to bend at all, it's probably best to cut him loose.

  • @ForAncientKingAndElvishLord
    @ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 5 месяцев назад +2

    Some wise guy once said men know from dsy 1 what they want, god bless that man.

  • @blessedfromtx.1910
    @blessedfromtx.1910 Год назад +9

    Very good advice 👌 👏👏

  • @username9999
    @username9999 Год назад +19

    "If we get along living together"
    People say the first year of marriage is the hardest because you're getting used to living with your new spouse. It's quite the adjustment.

  • @alex182618
    @alex182618 Год назад +5

    She would not call the radio show if she was sure.

  • @saltedcharm8656
    @saltedcharm8656 Год назад +3

    Run!, do not walk from this.

  • @TheAMBULOCETUS
    @TheAMBULOCETUS Год назад +4

    Sounds like the old proverb. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!

  • @tracygaluszynski1868
    @tracygaluszynski1868 Год назад +5

    Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

  • @ximenahincapie487
    @ximenahincapie487 Год назад +2

    Love this advice. Thanks guys

  • @reneest7644
    @reneest7644 5 месяцев назад +1

    You shouldn’t have to interview for a wife position. Run!

  • @kokoskokso
    @kokoskokso Год назад +10

    It's sooo ARROGANT of him to have her audition for the privilege of being his wife.. Who does this guy think he is? He was like whatever, I don't care what you think or what your needs are, you need to prove to me you're worthy of my proposal! Yeah no thanks bye. Just saved yourself a whole lot of time and trouble.

  • @Evil-Rod-Farva
    @Evil-Rod-Farva Год назад +8

    “Come what may, we are still in this together.” Has John not saw the stats on female initiation of divorce? Has he not heard his own advice to women before?

    • @MarkTrueblood
      @MarkTrueblood Год назад +5

      Everyone at Ramsey drinks the good ol’ boy chivalry kool ade hard, but Baloney got a full transfusion with it.

    • @robloxvids2233
      @robloxvids2233 Год назад +3

      I don't listen to a single think Johnny says. Usually don't even watch his videos.

    • @Evil-Rod-Farva
      @Evil-Rod-Farva Год назад +2

      @@robloxvids2233 I’m just trolling his vids at this point and hopefully young men realize how out of touch his advice usually is.

    • @Evil-Rod-Farva
      @Evil-Rod-Farva Год назад +1

      @@MarkTrueblood Super Saiyan Simping. It’s sad how much modern Christianity and its followers like the Ramsey org are failing men. All paths and advice lead to worshipping and serving the holy poonyeeti.

  • @arfriedman4577
    @arfriedman4577 5 месяцев назад +1

    This guy sounds like hes controlling because he wants you to pass tests.
    Id say leave this guy. No one should put conditions on your life.

  • @brittaj68
    @brittaj68 Год назад +2

    RUN! Run fast; Run far! NEXT!

  • @xthebluenitex
    @xthebluenitex Год назад +25

    It really just depends. My husband and I moved in together almost immediately after we started dating due to some personal circumstances and we're fine. It was a rental though not one of our houses. We got married within the next year too so it wasn't drawn out. It can work both ways.

    • @larissaalcorn3406
      @larissaalcorn3406 Год назад +8

      But he didn't dangle proposal over your head saying "you need to move in with me and if you do well, I'll propose."

    • @kokoskokso
      @kokoskokso Год назад +4

      yeah I think you two were a team even before marrying whereas this clown is in it clearly just for himself and just the word "test" tells you everything you need to know (in addition to him blatantly devaluing her needs and her happiness)

    • @xthebluenitex
      @xthebluenitex Год назад +4

      Yeah it was definitely a different situation than the callers.

  • @queen.kristal8395
    @queen.kristal8395 Год назад +23

    You guys are still young get to each other more first and wait a couple more years don’t rush to grow up

    • @nly4607
      @nly4607 Год назад

      Yeah I can't think of any examples of couples the same age with a marriage that doesn't look like slavery for the man

    • @ctb3343
      @ctb3343 Год назад

      Not if they are going to be living together. Lol data doesn’t lie; it doesn’t work like that and people are going to continue to change throughout life. It doesn’t take 2-4 years or more to figure out if you want to build your lives together.

  • @peterlee584
    @peterlee584 26 дней назад +1

    So, he's offering marriage as a prize, provided you meet his standards. Ridiculous!!

  • @minervagalvez4748
    @minervagalvez4748 29 дней назад +1

    RUN GIRL!!! RUN LIKE HELL!!!