Let $4,800 Stop Our Marriage?
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- Опубликовано: 15 мар 2023
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This dude is a joke. He’d rather his wife stay on the garbage state insurance then to act like a husband and take care for of each other
I wonder what plan the kid is on. HIS kid
Yup
Yeah, why should the tax payer fund his lifestyle? She's taking care of him and his child, not me, why am I on the hook for her bills? He's reaping all the benefits and someone else gets to cough up the cash. Also guaranteed he has one foot out the door and will abandon this woman and child altogether at the drop of the hat, meaning the tax payer will start having to pay their section 8 housing, food stamps, and care for this woman in her retirement. Man up or don't impregnate people!
He purchased a house with her, had a kid with her, and *now* he's agonizing over the cost of health insurance?! Bruh. 😅🤦♂️
He’s not the smartest, obviously 😅
it is not just health insurance... it probably includes food stamps, monthly stipulations, dental insurance, free rehab, etc....
You kind of come to the realization that women cost a lot.
$5000+ a year richer or a piece of paper saying your married. I'll take the $5000 and my significant other agrees. That's almost 10% of their families yearly income
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 That is a really poor statement.
"I would marry you, but I would have to pay more for health insurance". Dude is a pure romantic charmer.
She picked him.
I will marry you, but you'll have to get a job to afford it... Would she still want marriage?
that rizz 😩😩
The fact that men like this have women that want to marry them is most depressing.
Women are becoming more and more desperate.
@@Nolaman70 and yet I remain single. Most humbling indeed.
@@Nolaman70 especially when they are near the age of 30+
Women have low standards
@@handsomeawkward1822 stop being awkward
He doesn’t want to get married. He didn’t talk about love. He’s just crunching numbers.
As he should!
What man in their right mind today wants to get married.
@@nessliestrife993 True Dat
@@nessliestrife993 One that wants kids... except this guy has already done that.
@@lajhoncampbell8141 First, he should love her, then crunch the numbers. He doesn’t love her and he doesn’t want to get married.
“You’re looking to intellectualize something that’s an emotional and spiritual decision.” Love that.
But if someone wants to buy a house they can't afford, suddenly finances matter again, and that's for shelter. You don't need marriage.
The fool in this scenario is the taxpayer. We pay this woman's bills because they are playing married in real life but not reporting joint income. He won't man up, so the rest of us have to pay for his "wife."
Ummm...you would have to anyway because unless married, some women do not work. She is an adult!
💯💯💯 These kinds of people annoy me!
@@stratelite1337 you're 12 bro
I guess her womaning up isn't an option?
@@luminous6969 what would "womaning up" entail?
I actually see this a lot. Many people with kids don't get married so the woman get can food stamps, Medicaid or low cost insurance, rental assistance, etc.. And then their children grow up and do the same. I don't know why many women accept this. It is time to reform the social service system. The rest of us are tired of getting ripped off.
Especially since most women work full-time, whether they have kids or not.
Totally agree!
You are 💯 right!
We have DNA testing, so it isn't hard to determine who the biological father is. Whether married or not, fathers should be on the hook to pay child support for children they create.
I saw this in a special about destroying the black family. A good husband was considering divorcing his wife for the simple reason that she could collect more benefits by not being married to him.
So this man is upset that he will have to pay for his future wife's Healthcare as opposed to the general public paying for it out large through Medicare. That is truly sad and pathetic
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
We need to start petitioning our petitioning our local representatives to stop this nonsense. Why should we be paying people not to get married
Medicaid, but yes
@MasterShake89 I hear you. At this point, Medicaid for all is a better option than the idiocy we have now.
Well, technically, everyone should be treated as an adult and she is definitely not a kid so...
Omg!! I think we should find his fiancé and tell HER to run!!!😂😂
Totally agree. Get away from this guy.
Dude is a loser with that mind set.
Uh...they have a baby, own a house...etc 😂
Too late, they have a kid
She's already baby trapped him now she wants spousal support on top of child support.
"C'mon supernerd" 😭😭😭😭 I love Dave SO much!!
"She desires to get married more than I have..."😢
No cost healthcare is actually taxpayer paid healthcare. Man up and pay the bill!!!
Caller: we kind of went about our family a little backwards. Dave: Yah
I know a lot of people that approached their relationship/family this way and all of them are still together and very loving, al the ones I know who insisted on getting married first are all divorced now.
@@Lon1001 interesting. From my observations, I have seen the exact opposite. Those in this case who stayed married are miserably so, remaining together because they didn't want to split the assets.
@@Lon1001Because being willing to commit to life with someone over a child before marriage makes all the sense in the world.
Dave may not be a licensed therapist, but this was on the mark.
A child will tether you to someone. It's important to keep that in mind when you sleep with someone.
To quote a Kenny Rogers...Know when to walk away, know when to run!
Dave handled this one with grace as he always does.
😒😒it’s his baby mom, bet she and the kid are filing for social services and he wants the tax payers to keep paying for them
Don't hate the player, hate the game
Exactly. He said as much.
@@perotal no, I'm going to hate the actions of the player too... Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's moral. The Govt program was developed to help out a SINGLE mom with a child... but they've moved in together and are married in all ways except a piece of paper. So yeah, they absolutely are gaming the system and I'm not cool with paying for that... but I have to.
@@sidwhiting665No sorry there smart tax payers just payed for SVB
Why would he call in with this question then?
It seems somewhat fraudulent to live with someone and have everything paid for, including tax dollar funded health care.
Exactly… that’s why so many don’t get married. They keep living off the system.
@@deecali Maybe fix the system then? Idk why everyones so upset about people choosing to not get married for financial reasons. If they can't afford it, they can't afford it. the $400+ of expenses a month to a 60k yearly income is a lot to bear to be legally married. This guy already has a family. Why should he get married? To make you feel better about about more people getting married?
@@ChadmladYou missed the advice about the spiritual and emotional connection. Plus data was presented showing that married couples win financially the long run.
I think working alongside Dr. John has given Dave so much insight on these situations. He handled this so well. Not that he couldn’t have handled it before, but he speaks differently compared to 3-4 years ago. Very impressed.
Facts!!! Dr. John is an asset to the show.
@@KC-kg3ld Agreed. He’s my favorite personality.
I’m glad that he speaks his opinion even if it disagrees with Dave.
I think that’s one of (the many) reasons they hired him.
Ummm wow he really doesn’t want to get married
He's going to nickel and dime this relationship.
This poor girl. Hope she hears this call. If he bails because of this call, she's lucky.
And what happens when her friends and parents hear the call from this loser???
No she’s not. She’s a stay at home unmarried mother. If she leaves, she’s almost guaranteed a life of poverty
@@privacyplease1556 that’s why he’s a double dirtbag- she’s a financial hostage when she should be an honorable woman and be married to a MAN instead of shacking up with an immature boy who wants to play “house.”
She chose to get knocked up by a loser. She has the life she deserves, just like him.
@@privacyplease1556 she has a life of poverty as is with a can kicker who doesn’t want her health insured because “the premiums will go up”. Her and the child has more value than to be hanging around with a can kicker.
But, he was willing to knock her up and create more drama in his life. Men wear condoms, and women be on Birth control, and STOP bringing these kid's into your messed up lives my Gosh.
It feels a lot better raw.
@@strangeroamer3219nobody’s denying that still irresponsible to bring a child into a world where you’re unhappy, unsatisfied and immature. Plan accordingly and if you’re going to be a family man BE THAT. Instant pleasure is the biggest problem of today.
Why do people so want free stuff from the State instead of taking responsibility for themselves - such greedy people!! They will never get ahead! Pitiful 40 yr old!
Weak men make hard times etc...
Not getting married just to receive Medicaid is gross and morally wrong
"come on super nerd" Dave cracks me up every time
Because marriage has moved from a sacrament, to a contract, and now to a convenience. He's definitely on the convenience part.
How is marriage a convenience to him, when he's not even married?? Sounds like more of an inconvenience since it will cost them a huge portion of their monthly take home pay.
@@Lon1001 I don't mean that as a particular to him, but as a general statement to the state of marriage itself. Also, convenience is meant as the ancients understood it, not as the modern one you inputted. What you just wrote would be unintelligible to them, i.e. Aquinas, Farabi, Maimonides, Aristotle, etc.
Amen
He has a home with her, a child, and is hesitant on getting married over an insurance premium...When you get married, you also get tax credits. A lot of people just don't value marriage anymore and it's become disheartening.
Tell the state to keep their sticky fingers out of the marriage business and cede it to the church, maybe people will value it again. Currently, as it is, marriage is a rip-off.
So he wants her to be a housewife without the wife part, with no legal protections whatsoever when he decides to bail. So when he gets bored, she and the kid are on the street because she has no job and no recent work history. And no retirement, either. She's insane if she goes along with that.
Most women have to know that they need to be adults as well. I mean you guys can have kids, but that is no excuse.
@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 that's exactly why I think being a stay at home mom is unwise. So is not having, and keeping up, a job skill adequate to pay for childcare as well as living expenses if you have to go solo. But part of being an adult is not being a pushover. And a legal contract is the least I'd expect if someone wanted me to take part in bringing a kid into the world.
Had she been responsible, she would not be staring single motherhood in the face. She thought she would trap someone by becoming pregnant, so her plan worked to an extent but otherwise has backfired. Also, the guy needs a DNA test on the kid to confirm his parentage.
She's clearly a welfare queen who has the system figured out. It's just an unethical ordeal.
@@christinebutler7630And paying for other people to raise your children makes all the sense in the world? Not ever being home to be with your children makes sense? The best thing I can do for my kids, aside from staying with their dad, is to be here for them.
It was $62 for our courthouse wedding. If you really want to get married, money and a dress won't hold you back
I love it! Wish we had done it that way. Our wedding day was more than we two introverts wanted or needed. 😀
I agree with John. Don't get married. This marriage is already set up to fail before even walking down the aisle. If he is worried about 5K, then there are other issues going on. And I do agree that he is finding reasons not to get married.
It's just a ceremony. Who cares.
@@firefly9838There is a HUGE difference between a wedding and a marriage. The 2 are not comparable.
Yeah
One’s a funeral and the other is a life sentence.
I sincerely thought Ramsey would tell him to sell the fiancé.
No just the kids
That would be Ramsey Saudi Arabia.
Tell the fiance to get six jobs.
Nah, Papa Dave always beats out beans and rice.
He doesn't want this guy anywhere near his daughters so he's not letting him manipulate this woman
This show's not just about FINANCE anymore. It's evolved into more of a LIFESTYLE show.
This is why they brought Jon on board.
I mean, your lifestyle does affect how much money you have lol
@@danielrn133 He mainly focusses on the mental side of things while George, Jade and Kristina do a little of everything and Ken focusses on career stuff.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.@@vanesslifeygo
The power of diversification.
Two Words: Pre-marriage Counseling
Its amazing how dave was just quiet understanding the background before speaking up
Experience from sticking one's foot in one's mouth.
I honestly agreed with Dr. John; he doesn’t really want to get married; he’s looking for reasons to validate staying as roommates with benefits.
This is not about money! Marriage just doesn’t make sense to him! He should know, that’s perfectly okay!
This is ONLY about money. Stay single and continue to abuse the welfare system OR get married and be completely off the system.
Yep. After crunching the numbers, she just isn't worth it. That's perfectly acceptable. Women do it all the time. They make marriage and divorce decisions based on a man's income.
Sounds more like fear to me
@@kindredkey yah.... I guess we listened to two different videos.
Marriage is not for everybody, especially in this day and age, but this guy now has a house and a child with his “fiancée (she’s really his roommate with benefits). It’s way too late to be philosophizing about getting married or not, he should never, ever had shaked up with her and they both would be much, much happier today.
"Try it before you buy it." Ten years later after 'trying it', should I buy it?
You may not be aligned or even disagree with Ramsey's financial principles or views, but you gotta give to this guy--he sees through people, their background, and where they're coming from even on the phone.
That's not a nerd. That's a selfish man who's clearly not in love. Like they mentioned, a man who's madly in love would carry mountains to put a ring on the love of his life. I'm so sad for this woman who wasted years with this dude and even had a kid by him. Now he's counting pennies of his "love". Some people. 🙄
There is no love when divorce laws came into the picture.
How is he selfish for wanting his whole family to have more money?
@@Matt-sq5zw You get more money the right way - better jobs, cutting spending, use cash, etc.
@Jim Roscovius no. His girlfriend needs to stop being selfish, lazy and manipulative and go to work.
@Air Force to Civilian Chronicles I agree with that. I and my wife both work, and we had kids too.
I agree with John. He doesn’t need to get married. He is looking for a reason to not get married. Over the course of a year, $5k isn’t that hard to make up. If he wanted to get married a little bit of money won’t stop you. He would be thinking of ways to cover the difference rather than looking for a way out
It's not that simple. He may not want to work a 2nd job and try to cover the different which will cause more stress and time. He's option would be lyfy, Uber or some type of delivery service which would cause more wear and tear and maintenance on his vehicle. In the end its not worth it and she probably not either.
@@tsaunders4684 exactly my point if her value isn’t more than a car or finding a new job then they don’t need to get married. Wear and tear on your car is not a reason to call off a wedding. We’ve heard Dave say either paint or get off the ladder, he needs to go ahead and step down. He’s looking for reasons to not marry her when people that want to be married find reasons to do so.
@@chuckiedavidson719 But he knows there really no upside for him to marry her. I'm sure he taking care of his child. Marriage is just not worth it for most men today. There really no upside for him while risking having to pay alimony down the road. The divorce rate is now over 60% in America just in case you didn't know.
Just say you don’t wanna get married my dude
I don't know why but Dave calling this dude "Super nerd" is the kind of energy I want to carry in to Friday.
He would never say the same with a female caller, challenge me
Their faces through this call 😅🤣😂
I love Dave’s comments as well as Johns advice.
Never have I heard someone like this guy. Good grief.
HAHAHA Dave's reaction! 1:48
It really starts just after 1:35 🤔😳😆
Another call confirming I need to stay single....
Dr. D's first response was the right response, "DON'T GET MARRIED"....
You guys did a tremendous job with the advice and the delivery thereof
Their faces while the callers talking 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Glad my taxes are paying for your families health insurance. Ridiculous.
He is paying his own.
@@jimmymcgill6778 and he doesn’t want to add his gf to his plan because Uncle Sam (we the people) are funding her healthcare.
@@silentnot4812 exactly …
@@jimmymcgill6778 but we’re paying for his family; wife and child.
That is what bothers you? Not the fact that Warren Buffet pays 0.1% in taxes and he is one of the richest people in the world. But that someone who is on welfare, and perhaps should be on welfare may or may not get married due to losing benefits. You are watching to much foxnews cause welfare is not the problem... and I believe we need to be providing more money and more benefits to people on welfare.
Don’t walk down the aisle, until you are so eager that you desire to run down the aisle
Hurray for Dave!
Supernerd 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😅
Marriage is not about money. Sounds like he would be too controlling in the future.
Marriage is about money, how she’s going to be an stay at home mom is there’s no money coming
@@willjean1614 It is not about no money coming... it is about if they get married she will lose her welfare benefits. This guy makes money... but if they do get married she losses her welfare benefits and some things like health insurance will go up.
@@willjean1614 You know what I mean.
I would have a hard time keeping a straight face with this one. Good work hosts!
Did I hear wrong, or he suggested the son is not his (around 3:18)? If so, I understand this guy concerns, and he SHOULD NOT marry. Otherwise, he is trying to avoid responsibility...that is not good.
^Watch further back, 3:00
@@LittleMopeHead I heard that. Why he said "her son", not "our son"...it doesn't add.
@@XXnickles I heard "our son" originally, but now that you mentioned it, not sure anymore.
Great words by Mr. Ramsey!
Hello there👋👋,how are you doing today?hope all is good at your end? always keep your faith in Jesus Christ our savior and you’re blessed today.Amen!
Thank you for this clip. Needed to hear some of what they said today.
Most marriages end over finances and divorces are most often initiated by women so...don't feel bad about weighing the financial cost of marriage...she's likely doing the same thing.
It’s the opposite for her. She needs to calculate the costs of being unmarried. If he plots before her and they don’t get married, she is homeless with a baby and his parents get his estate
The insurance on my wife and I costs $1320/mo. Should I divorce her because my insurance would go down? What a stupid question!!
Of course, why would you leave your sugar mama?
What a stupid question!
Don't get married unless you really believe it's the right next move for you. Go with your gut instinct. Don't let others talk you into it.
Depending on what state he’s in he is already common law married. 🤷🏽♀️ how about don’t have a kid with someone you wouldn’t marry!?!?But too often this isn’t the case.
That's what happened to me in 2004. When I was engaged to my ex-wife, our parents were pestering us on when we are going to officially tie the knot. All of our friends at the time were getting married so we did it to keep up with the Jones's. This should have been an omen, but I just didn't think of it back then. But this is an omen for sure, when we returned from our honeymoon, the city of San Jose lost our marriage license and we had to go before a judge to fix the problem. My instincts were telling that was very odd, but I thought it could laugh at it in the future. Little did I know that was a sign of what was yet to come. I've been divorced since 2011 without children. I learned a valuable lesson don't get married unless it's the right move without a reasonable doubt.
@@spiritualcosmeticss OK, common law marriage but the gov't does not investigate this type of marriage
It is religion. They need to not only have a class in finance, but also in divorce.
@@chrisconsorte7893 we just don’t listen to our gut intuition and everything happening to avoid the situation but I’m glad yu divorced and even better no kids no child support no ex drama always listen to the universe talking to us
How come he didn't mentioned the payroll tax deduction for the health insurance and the double standard deduction for tax savings
Which comes out to less benefit in the amount he would lose in divorce.
I was raised to detest the idea of accepting any kind of govt assistance. It's that mode of thinking completely foreign now?
If I was his fiancé and head this call, I would run. So far, so fast. I get people are deep into the data sometimes, but if you have to talk yourself into it, it’s not right.
This woman gave you the highest honor she can give you, which is giving you a child. There is no amount of money in the world can reward her for this.
If you want to save on healthcare you can both join the army reserves lol
A wimp like him would never make it in the military. He’s not a man he’s a little boy.
I could not even listen to this whole conversation because of how nerdy and out of touch this guy is. How did Dave not hang up on him 😂
I can’t stand this guy!! I heard it on the full show and listened again now. It’s nauseating!
So being nerdy os disgusting to you? You wouldn't be watching RUclips if it wasn't for a nerdy guy
Caller sounds like a guy that hasn't come to terms with his own homosexuality. He is in this "relationship" as a cover.
@@jeromehenry4484 No he is not. He just using logic and knows deep down inside that he shouldn't get married.
@@tsaunders4684 He shouldn't be creating children he has no intention of financially supporting, leaves taxpayers footing his financial responsibilities as a biological father. By the way, there is probably more than just medical insurance subsidy, like food stamps, Life Line, ACP, etc.
Don't understand why you want to support some other man's child when you didn't get to sleep with the mother at least once.
yes Dave is right on all fronts...thanks Dave!
Not really.
It's obvious this guy doesn't want to get married.
His stated reason NOT to get married is 5K.
That's not a good start for a successful marriage.
@@steelcastle5616
No what’s obvious for his income level 5 k is massive.
She qualifies for cheap healthcare probably because she is low income. After you get married she will no longer qualify with married dual income. Time to get married and let someone else with lower income have that money.
How come he didn't mention the payroll tax deduction or double the standard deduction savings?
Really. Stop taking money from the neighbors and pay for your own family
$60K is low income
I agree, but can understand where he's coming from. When you're lower-to-mid middle class, you make enough to where to you don't qualify for anything, but you don't make enough to where stuff like healthcare and education are still really expensive for you. $5000/year is pretty substantial on an average salary. That's just in premiums. He also mentions that his deductibles would double, which means one unexpected hospital visit could be an even bigger blow. Anyone saying they wouldn't at least have similar thoughts in a similar situation is cap.
@@panzer_TZ exactly. It's better to keep the girlfriend and the child on the free service. He makes 60K per year so he's paying taxes.
The simps keep simping.
They are already common law married. And 5k is a lot out of his meager earnings. Just get good life insurance and estate planning in place and enjoy being common law married
Not all states have common law marriage.
They all do. Go before the judge, owning a house and having a baby and the judge is gonna treat you like the husband end of discussion. It is what it is.
The health insurance issue is just an excuse for him not to get married. If both of them are healthy they can go with a High Deductible Plan and cut their monthly premiums by more than half and open an HSA and stash money there tax free. A lot of people think they need to go with a co-pay insurance but an HSA is a great tool to save in taxes and get an affordable health insurance.
He should not get married. The marriage will fail. He doesn’t know what love is.
Great advice! I can attest to the marriage advantage. There is favor in doing it God's way. As he designed it to be. God bless 🙌
Agreed. If the two individuals take courtship patiently to make sure they both Yoke together properly, the marriage works out. There will be bumps along the Road Way, but they are marble size bumps not bowling balls. It is doable and manageable as long as you are following God's direction.
Non-religious individuals will dismis marriage as oppressive and useless and replace it with a life of lust, selfishness, unhealthy lifestyle that they call good. It is sad but true.
@@JohnPaul-ol5zl Amen!
Absolutely!!
Women always can attest to benifits
There’s a saying for what he is going through ‘paralysis by analysis’
Soeaking as a man there is nothing more incredible on this planet then when a woman looks you straight in the eye and yes I want to marry you. I have been married for seventeen years. Forget about the economics my friend. It's not just a piece of paper. Marriage means so much more.
The deductibles are also hahahahaha
The caller makes all of us Nerds look bad.
Good sharing 🤗💗
I'm curious about (and concerned for) the possible future wife. Is she as FRUGAL as he is? OMG! This could be a turning point. I'm surprised that no one discussed the possible expenses of a wedding or an engagement ring. Not everyone needs a huge diamond or wants a lavish ceremony, but these traditional wedding luxuries also signify commitment to one another and the entire process of planning and budgeting a wedding hinges on shared values. There's chivalry in wanting to provide for the love of your life.
He sounds a little like Sheldon from The Big Bang. 😆 She should run.
This guy is the perfect example of a lot of americans crying about health insurance cost,not because they don't earn the money to pay,they just don't want to spend money this way..!
Not much was said about the child they have together. If you think enough about her to have her birth your child, you need to put a ring on it, right now.
Right? Don't make someone a mother that you would not make a wife!
Dave's face at 1:35 😂
Sounds like they are playing the system😅
This dude does not want to get married, he shall listen to his guts.
She can do so much better. Get up the courage and get out. She deserves a good man not this creep
Well he has the cake and isn't paying for it, yea he is not interested in paying now!
Living the dream
Sorry, this guy doesn’t sound like husband material …. On many levels
realistically whats the breaking point then? $4800 is not enough to stop a marriage but what is? 10K? 50K a million" I mean if someone called and told Dave Im in love and make 35k a year but getting married means taking on my finances $800k debt he would say dont get married lol...
You may be missing the point.
4800 extra per year is an extra 400 per month which seems like a lot but its not as much as some guys take on getting into marriage. Especially if they are taking on by themselves the burden of providing for their wife or kids
@@russle1054 Its 2023 I know sooo many people with kids together 10+ years never married for various reasons...Its normal now to me I feel like if you have kids you SHOYUDL be married but times have changed...
We are getting duped. We pay fiance's healthcare because they didn't get the license. She reports little to no income but they, best I can tell, live as married. He created the baby who apparently keeps her from working more.
I am sick of paying the bills for couples like this...
We are talking about WELFARE. So saying a million is just stupid.
HE DOES NOT WANT YOU
I'm noticing the "my fiancee" was said way more often than you'd expect him to say the word "she". Wondering if it's a cover.
The way he sounds, yeah. If he said the truth, Dave wouldn't let him on the show.
Shows you didn’t watch this video he clearly said she at 3:17
Listening to the opening, I was putting up the storm shutters.
Did he look at the tax advantages?
Poor woman. 😢
She has woman powers in the dating world.. When she had enough, she will swap him out for another man. It is easy for women.
@@dbtech4562 not true at all
@@kokoskokso Forgot that women don’t date down and focus on the bad boys. Women go after the top 10 percent of men and 90 percent of men are invisible to them.
math and wife's feelings - brutal