I took the first option. When my wife and I first dated, we both knew we loved each other. It was more natural for me to be myself with her, then anyone else. We both burned with passion for each other. Rather than wait and upset the Lord, we got married after dating for 6 months. Going on 16 years now with two beautiful children. Despite us making mistakes, the Lord offered us a way to make it right and we listened. He has blessed us with two children, who I can’t imagine life without. Where I’ve failed in faith, He’s been faithful. Where I am weak, He is strong. Our culture says wait until your older and financially secure to get married. This isn’t natural. Our bodies tell us it’s. Or natural. OUR HORMONES tell us it’s not natural and our ability to have healthy pregnancies diminishes as we age. We were broke when we got married, but God made a way because we obeyed.
I strongly believe that God 's word is true and he will not go against his words, it's not an easy thing to do but when we endulge in the right things there are always blessings which follow although none of us are perfect and have fallen short one way or another, so we are to look up to God and not man, I really appreciate ur time, effort and videos.The Holy Spirit is surely present
@@maryanneville4397 So true. I was married for 8 years and going through a divorce. While separated from my now X-wife I met a woman and began dating her..We fell into sexual sin while I was still married and did this for 9 months. Well shortly after everything was complete on my divorce, me and my "so-called" girlfriend broke up and man it hurt. After I prayed about it, I realized that I couldn't be mad. God allowed this breakup to happen because I was doing this in sin. I felt like God showed me that he won't bless a relationship when we're acting out of lust and sin. Thank You Lord for showing me that..🤲
@@trisharamlall9973 Not gonna lie I thought about those things aswell and thought was it ok? But if you truly wanna please God it's best you keep those things in marriage, it will be considered a sin and an abomination. However kissing on the lips some say is fine but if it turns into a session, then its not acceptable.
I agree as well! It’s very hard to live by the Word but I honestly think Gods word helps protects your heart, mind, and body. Saying No to sex to guys I have dated who are “Christian” has saved me from heartache and wasting time on the wrong person.
@B0omer96 I guess that at the end of the day it all comes to down to the spiritual maturity of man. The Holy Spirit is way stronger than the flesh. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. If the man is spiritually mature and lives by the Spirit, no matter how strong the sex drive will be, the Holy Spirit will always dominate
I realise after going through the comments that this video is 6years old and it just confirms how the word of God will always be relevant...thank you for this insight and am blessed that the Holy Spirit convicted us and now we are on a renewed journey in honoring God and know over the past year of repenting and being intentional God will be glorified in the end of the it all.
the problem is the more we stayed together we started to break some of the boundaries. and finally we gave in. we were still in school so we promised eachother it willnot happen again. and the more we tried to stop our self the more it became impossible. finally we broke it of! and 6 month back we came back. we are engaged now. the problem was we broke the boundaries we had. so now we implemented strict boundaries for ourselves
Get married already, cus it's more difficult to try and stay celibate if you have already done it, the best way would be to break up or get married as soon as possible so as to avoid torturing yourselves.
yes, boundaries are important. Through that you build trust. Getting married quickly after falling into sin does not help you build or re-build trust, and it affects the marriage. The examples I know where they did that, they either are now divorced or went through a very difficult period; some were separated for a time. More to think about
I was beginning to drown in self guilt and thinking murder thoughts. It really destroyed my relationship with God Thanks for this message! I've broken up with him and decided to focus on God I started reading the book you recommended by Redeemed like David 🙏🏼
I agree 100% with all points. With option #3 (taking time off ) I think it is a good solution because the distance apart will confirm if this is the person you want to marry-they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Also, it is an opportunity to take some time with the Lord to pray and fast(after repentance ) to hear God's voice and make sure that the other person is the one God wants you to marry and if it is the right time to do so. Sexual attraction and the "want" to marry can sometimes fog ones vision. Best let God clear it up. 🤓 Btw Mark...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Great points Rose Morales, I didn't think of that but you are right, one benefit of taking time away is to confirm what feelings are true and which are just lustful. And thanks for the Fathers Day wishes :)
Aloha, I’m stoked you did a video on this topic, it seems like sometimes people think this is taboo to have conversation about. Sometimes people fall short of the glory and need to hear that the world isn’t over. Mahalo for being honest and humble with the options I agree with all of them and I think you did a good job articulating each one. Please do more videos on topics like these, our generation could really use the guidance without the pride and perfection of Christian performance.
The major concern I have in this- “Leading to Marriage” if a couple failed to keep the abstinence from sex is People end up “Marrying for the Wrong Reasons” then end up having Failed Marriages and Others being Miserable for so many Years...... People who lack Discernment. People who are slowly or just beginning to Grow-in-Christ, may end up marrying a Narcissist or Sociopath. There are so many of them out there...... wether it’d be a supposedly “Christian”. Other Christians may end up- Marrying for the wrong reasons for the sake of sexual desire. But, not have- A Godly and Biblical Marriage. To be Married- you have to be Ready! You have to be the Right Person (First)- - for one another. People get Married and they are not even ready to be A Good/Godly Husband/Wife at all. People get involved in Relationships just because they want company. They don’t want to be alone. They like the concept of having somebody there by their side or for them. And- the notion of being in A Relationship= Happiness. I believe, that if a couple unfortunately crossed that Boundary..... That they should Truly “REPENT”. Doesn’t need to Break Up, unless the Other or Both of them continue to Struggle. You should NEVER-- get Married for the Wrong Reasons. Marriage is A Commitment!!! Marrying A Person who is not Equally-Yoke with You leads to Suffering and Unhappiness!!! The Person you end up- Marrying will have TREMENDOUS Affect in Your Life: Health. Mind. Emotions. Personal-Relationship with GOD. Finances, etc. I could ONLY HOPE-- for Others to Grow in Discernment through Christ. Be Blessed and GOD Speed..... By the way..... I HIGHLY Recommend that you WATCH 📺 (his Other VIDEO): “12 Reasons NOT TO HAVE SEX Before Marriage” A GREAT Blessing or Assurance and ENCOURAGEMENT 😇
Thank you Mark. I wish my ex could have seen this last month. After he broke up with me God directed me to fast for 3 months so I can fully commit myself to Him. That is what I am doing.
PinkiePie 44 wow really? That’s over twice as long as Jesus! Why would he require that of you? Mam, read the word of God. There is no such thing as premarital sex. There are no laws in the Torah about pre-marital sex for a reason. Why? Because once you have sex you are now married to that man. Casual sex is a design of Satan, it’s a defilement of what is already considered marriage.
Why is this not preached more often? Im wondering why most of the messages that I hear implies that you should be an overcomer in this arena before you are "worthy" of getting married, thus you should break up. From what I understand, Paul is saying one should marry if they are struggling. But most people would preach and go the other direction where they wait before they dont struggle anymore before they can say that yep I can marry. It's like, Im dirty, but I want to be clean first before Im worthy to take a bath. Pastor Mark, why do people emphasize breaking up instead of balancing their message with a word about marriage?
I’m a pastors kid, which means I’m quite about these topics. How can I speak openly when the pastor is my parent and when my parent is my pastor. This HELPED me so much! God bless
Thank you I had to make boundaries because our kissing got out of had, I asked to wait until marriage which my boundaries wasn't respected, so I had to beak it off and also flee from sexual sin.
Exactly man , please help me . Me and my girlfriend who are both christian seem to be struggling with the sexual sin , the thing is the relationship clearly is ordained by God because he’s spoke to us and given us gifts we pray together , speak in tounges together , we even spread the gospel together. In my heart I know she’s my soulmate , the only issue is we are both 19 years old we can’t get married to early. I truly believe I just need resist the spirit of temptation and I think the times me and my partner are staying awake play a part. We seem to only fight that strong feeling of sexual tension at witch hours so from like 2-3 am . Through out the day we pray and pray and pray and we don’t do any sexual acts . Number 2 we sleep together thinking we can fight the urge but it’s like we are putting ourselves in the situation . I just don’t want this sexual sin to split us apart .
Be aware before breaking up with someone you've had sex with that there's a high possibility of thinking of that person during relations when you move on and marry someone else. Even thinking of someone sexually is a sin, so my suggestion is to marry the person you've had relations with. I pray that everyone who isn't a virgin has only had it with one person or is very moved on from past sexual relations. Jesus has a way out: sex can be for building up your relationship and honoring God if in marriage, not just to be in sin and be wicked!
I think this was the actual point to adress, but the guy in the video completely missed it. I can definitely testify that after sexual sin has occurred between two people who are attracted to each other, it’s almost impossible not to have sexual thoughts about that specific person. So if you break up to repent, it most likely will put you in a very tricky position. you will very likely continue to think about that person sexually and hence….commit adultery in your heart every time a memory comes back of that sexual instance. This WILL hurt you massively and might hurt your marriage as well if you end up marrying someone else. Some people think that god can heal you / heal your memory… But to be honest I think the principle of reaping what you’ve sawn is paramount. God does forgive a repenting sinner. No question about it. But those memories won’t just go away… so you will have to deal with constant temptation. In my opinion the best thing is getting married if sexual si has happened. But if that is not possible… (for example if the other person is an unbeliever) then it would be better to remain single until you stop having sexual thoughts towards the person you sinned with. And that might take many years. Maybe that is even why some people are “kept single” by God. Their sins are forgiven but they still hold on to them in their heart.
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@@laurapiovan Exactly man , please help me . Me and my girlfriend who are both christian seem to be struggling with the sexual sin , the thing is the relationship clearly is ordained by God because he’s spoke to us and given us gifts we pray together , speak in tounges together , we even spread the gospel together. In my heart I know she’s my soulmate , the only issue is we are both 19 years old we can’t get married to early. I truly believe I just need resist the spirit of temptation and I think the times me and my partner are staying awake play a part. We seem to only fight that strong feeling of sexual tension at witch hours so from like 2-3 am . Through out the day we pray and pray and pray and we don’t do any sexual acts . Number 2 we sleep together thinking we can fight the urge but it’s like we are putting ourselves in the situation . I just don’t want this sexual sin to split us apart .
Thank God Ptr. Mark included this in his list. I was in a beautiful yet unhonorable friendship/relationship with my exboyfriend. Although he was a kind, humble, compassionate, intelligent, and generally responsible kind of guy and someone I'm attracted to, because he's still an unbeliever, I know I was not following and honoring the Lord. I wish I watched this before we met in 2013 but glory and praises to Jesus for His plans and Sovereignty. Edit: Thank God for the wisdom. I've been thinking for yrs tho I didn't expect the third option he mentioned.
URHO TM .. WOW, exactly and that's the hardest thing... You think maybe they will get saved thru you somehow... You justify... It's the little foxes that spoil the Vines... Been there., God bless. 🕊
I’m not sure if this is still your situation. You should definitely pray to God for wisdom. Wisdom and guidance on these types of things came be tricky, but helpful. One thing to remember though is that if he’s not willing to open his heart to God then he isn’t for you. Respectfully. I hope that you find a solution and clarity!
I am in the same situation. Any changes since last year that you posted this message? Because my boyfriend also sees is not as a sin. He said we are already connected, in a relationship. He almost sees a relationship the same as marriage. Because both are a commitment and marriage (in terms of getting a ring, ceremony etc.) are not in the bible.
I'm in this situation too. I gave my life to Christ and repented already and he is yet to do thesame. He doesn't seem to see anything wrong with sex before marriage. We had alot in common, he loves me and desperately want to marry me. I love him too. He's my first and I want him to be the last. I truly don't want another man. But God's will be done.😢
@@MsRacheal5451 I am also in this situation. I just re-dedicated my life to jesus. My partner wants to go on the same journey but I don't want to defile myself by sleeping with him still/we also live together. I am praying for guidance and wisdom.
Today I started thinking about this and I'm still trembling so bad because I don't want to get married to either of the 2 guys I had previously fornicated with. I didn't have full on intercourse with either of them but we fornicated. They aren't the godly men I have been dreaming of. I really do not want to go back I have repented, but I don't wanna burn for not staying with either of those guys.
There need to be ministries that help people vulnerable to this sin. What if you have nowhere to flee to? What if you keep running into the very same kinds of situations when you do flee? Not everyone has resources to start a new life. Just my thoughts.
Exactly. I live with my boyfriend. My parents are older & live far away. Also kicked me out before and I cannot afford to live alone. I have no way out and no way into marriage with my boyfriend unless he helps pay for it & helps me look into all the legal stuff..I’m lost. I pray constantly because I don’t want us to go to Hell for this. And I love him dearly. But for God I guess if I had enough money..I’d live separate . Bf says we aren’t ready for marriage but I think he’s just afraid of marriage bc both our parents are split
Thanks you so much for this brother I've been struggling with this uk after you commit that sin nd it's like you don't wanna cut that person off completely but you also don't wanna put yourself in a situation where you can dishonor God I think I'll definitely go with the 3rd Option.
Hey Mark. I pray you are doing extremely well in the name of the Lord. Thanks for all the content that helps me in dating and in the life of Christian relationships with godly women. God bless you and your family ten fold brother 🙏💙💙💙💙
This is so good! Thank you so much for bringing up delicate matters that I even dread to ask a pastor or elder that's close to me at church. God bless!
I agree with the 3 points but I think there are other things missing, because if you really want to show you repent from sexual sin the first thing to do is confess your sexual sin to the pastors, then after you talk to them you can figure out if your relationship is mature enough to go on a marriage. If it's not mature and you notice it will not work in a marriage then go to step two, and break up because is in the process of discipline that those two persons will learn how not to fall into that sexual immorality again on a future relationship. Then if the third opcion wants to be applied then you go through the discipline process separately and during that period of time you will both grow spiritually and make sure that God wants you two together again and you will be able to overcome that sexual desire with that person until you are able to be married.
i dont understand. if the apostle paul is offering marriage as a protection from sinning, why would you want to sort of overcome the sin by yourself (meaning apart from marriage) first before availing that offered protection? It's like Paul is saying, marry because you are struggling. on the other hand, it's like youre saying, ill marry when im not struggling anymore.
For anyone who are virgins stay like that until you find someone that wants to keep it holy and pure. I regret having relations with my gf of 5 years. At first we didn't do it but recently we started to do it for months. But that's when I didn't let Jesus into my heart I was saved when I was deep depression that later was cured by God. since that moment I felt amazing. Now I want to leave my relationship but some many times I've failed because I'm afraid to hurt her especially when she's losing her grandmother. I was close but that stopped me. I still want to get right with God but I don't want to get married so soon. I'm 22 years old still in college and still investing my money and my life. This video help me think that I should leave. By the way, she call herself a Christian but still wants to commit sexual sin. God bless you and all followers of Christ.
I just got out of a relationship and man. It has been painful for the last four months.. I’ve never known what healthy relationship looks like I’ve been in and out of church. And always seem to end up toxic relationship. This last one definitely hit differently. I felt so disconnected at church and just desperate to find love for my very first conversation situated something sexual, but I ignored it and and then a couple weeks later she brings up the topic and ignored it again. we ended up having sex and after that it was just pretty much the foundation of our relationship. When we started dating, she had told me that the guy that she was seen before me who she had rebounded after her ex was actually her kids soccer coach that she had barely cut things off with him about three weeks of us getting to know each other. It was so uncomfortable for me with that guy being her ex but for some reason, I just felt like I couldn’t let go, and I forced myself to be in a relationship. In the whole month we were together she never told her family or catholic friends about me. She would even have me hide from her ex husband because he didn’t know about me. She would also track his location. And constantly made comparisons and talk bad about him. He even told me that you feel lucky that I jumped to the front of the line as many guys after out. We still having problems because I kept pretty much telling her that all these things felt uncomfortable for me, but she’s pretty much told me to get over it. I have experienced a lot of my past so a lot of these things just triggered me and I just became all these things myself that I know I still need healing from and it is a really I was really resentful, but I know that it was my responsibility to walk away, but for some reason, I feel like I couldn’t I thought so attached her. But in the end, she broke up with me and I continue to try to force it. It has been really hard, but I haven’t taken support to my church and I’ve been to Counseling and people that help me to see all these things how unhealthy they were even though for me in the moment it seem healthy. But I see now how sex and cloud and judgment. That now I can find the healing through God to be able to one day be in a godly, healthy relationship and break the pattern of toxic relationship.
my ex and I struggled with sexual sin. We had been talking about marriage and a family one day. When we started struggling, we immediately tried to set boundaries and make changes so we could stop. But it just got more and more out of control. We ended up breaking up because it was so stressful and anxiety producing. After breaking up we met up and talked about the possibility of coming back together one day. But then a couple days after that conversation he told me he had been praying and felt like God was telling HIM there's someone else for me. Didn't make any sense to me and still doesnt.
Exodus 22:16 - if you have sex with a virgin you’re expected to marry them. Leaving them is the wicked thing to do because that is sex without assuming responsibility of what you did.
Mark... I'm a Christan lady..a very young 58... Having been dating a man that was raised Catholic. He walked away from the church because he said he didn't agree with their Doctrine and knew it was wrong. He says he believes in Jesus and is saved however I do not see the fruits of the spirit in him certainly not in a consistent way. He is an attorney and a judge from time to time filling in as needed however a lot of times he acts very immature at 63 years old, and he wants me to bend to his way of things he seems to lie to argue over silly things which I find disturbing he's chronically late and when I say late, I mean he will be 5 hours late he doesn't seem to be able to keep his word which is another red flag and everything seems to be about him and what he likes to do and we go round and round Yeti tells me he is deeply in love with me and I find that he is nothing but full of words. I have laid out the gospel for him more times than I can count he has been to church with me several several times we have had discussions about the Lord and I'm the one always bringing it up he won't leave me alone I have told him I wish him well I love him but I don't think we're on the same page and then how can two walk together unless they be agreed and he says that I speak riddles to him. Is he has unless he's lied about things there's his soul to me about things he's done in his past things he's had to do for our country things that people will never know because they were done off the books he was not enlisted seen a lot of very horrible things any questions is there any good in the world he knows there that there are but he's been through so many bad things that he has a hard time trying to figure out where he fits into it so my question is I have tried to break free of him countless times and he just keeps coming back and bugging me and the thought is come to me that maybe Satan is using him to try to pull me away from Jesus and I'm trying to figure out how to break free of him is this known as a soul-tie? I've seen this term used I'm not really familiar with it and we did dabble a little bit into sexual sin and I repented of it and when I did I cut it off completely and that kind of turned him back and he said he understood it and respected it but he's also not been the same since and I I I told him at that point I can no longer see you and he will not take no for an answer. . So this is where I'm at. Have you any biblical advise for how I can in a loving yet tactful Stern way of getting rid of him I thought maybe my job per se was to try to lead him to the Lord but I realize it's not my job to save him I planted more than enough seeds... Thank you Mark for your encouraging videos I watch them all the time.
Oh my goodness that sounds so familiar to me down to the last detail except mine isn't Catholic he's Jewish and doesn't believe. I'm in the same situation except haven't been intimate. How are you now? I too think it's probably a trap of the enemy and i let go but he keeps coming back. I just decided to pray for him. No one can come to the Jesus unless God draws them. I have to let him go and pray for him. If you're still with him don't give in and let him influence you away from Jesus because he will. Pray every day and surrender your will to God. Please let me know how you're doing
My exboyfriend was christian and I am catholic, but in this case it was the other way, he NEEDED to have sex so we can know each other in that way, and because we already had sex and love each other and were looking forward to marry, "Jesus wont see it as a sin". Long story short? After 1 week he dated another girl, and marry her after 3 weeks of dating. I sin to pleased him and he just said "oh I rush into things, my bad". Satan is everywhere and the Word tell us to guard our hearts and beware of wolves dressed like sheeps.
@@MsRita2014 that just happened to me less than 2 months ago, so I'm still suffering, I hope you are already doing well, but if not (because I know is very difficult sometimes) you can count on me to be listened. Regards!
If love is patient, perhaps what God is trying to tell, is to work and try to be saint looking forward to develop love as God wants. Otherwise I think, it would be like "ok lets get married because our instict told us" instead of develop love for each other. When you have been dating for just weeks or a couple of months, is just the "honeymoon" phase and you cannot be objective for a decision like this. God tell us to guard our hearts, God tell us to know him so can love him (because without knowledge we cannot love), God tell us to glorify him through marriage and leading by our flesh is to go contrary to what God commands. As he tell us to look for Him and not for the things of the world. God despises divorce and marry someone to satisfy lust (in order not to sin) is not taking marriage seriously as marriage is more than sex. This kind of answer is also an argument that manipulators and narcissists can use to convice someone to rush into marriage. I know this was based in the Bible, but it is just the opposite to the very first thing God say about love "love is patient".
My boyfriend and I have been living together 2 years. I have come back to the Lord in the last 6 months fully. I cut him off almost completely with a couple slips. It has caused major resentment and I am afraid cheating on his part. I wanted to get married but he doesn't treasure marriage as anything but a piece of paper and is still married but they have been apart over 10 years. Even as a Christian he doesn't respect my love for God and desire to be sexually pure. It hurts so much and I do not understand how a believer can have zero conviction in this area. I realize now it is a very toxic relationship but really struggling to let go. I can't imagine spending my life or marrying anyone else. But how can I marry him and trust him? I realize to that he is probably not the godly man the Lord has for me.
God doesn't call us to marry people who make us ignore our biblical conviction ❤️hope you are able to leave him as he is not helping you in your walk with God. That's already a big red flag.
One other recommendation I can give is to go to your church. Seek accountability and talk to your pastor about your struggles. If you can’t talk to your pastor about this issue, find one that you can.
I fell into sexual and sensual sin because of extreme attraction. I often went to confession after these actions. I was so in love with this guy and burned from passion to him. I would have married him just only because of that. He already had a marriage behind him with 3 kids. I wanted a new start with him. We are both Christian but with him I became kind of lukewarm because of the attraction and erotic. I talked about marriage, he didn't. After about 2 months of dating, he left me. I am still struggling with my feelings to him, I wanted to marry him but as it seems he didn't want this.
Cari Paul said exactly this.. they never preach this in church though.. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 " 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion"
Hi I have sin me and my girlfrienf so many times. And I feel my heart so in pain, because I have sin against the Lord and against her. Now I'm in shame.
I’m dating someone and I am not having sex but we kissed. We flirt but I explained I cannot be physical. It sucks that I will have to cut things off bc I am not strong enough to do it alone
My boyfriend wants to marry me someday but he has a lot of debt that would hurt us if we did get married. He also doesn't want to break up.. How can we deal with this.
Good evening children of God .i seriously need every ones help . I fornicated many times while being a Christian. Then there came a young lady who i loved but she wasn't Godly, came a time where I stayed with her in my room near a university i am studying in. She fell pregnant while I and the lady were arguing because she lacks maturity and we were incompatible(we don't see the same picture of life) I broke up with her and i take care of my child with the little money i have. after that another lady came , we fornicate , I recently started working on my relationship with God,but she is not Godly, my life style does not excite her and this relationship is toxic due to her actions since last year. my question is, how do I honor God in this situation?, neither of these ladies are compatible for me to marry, including the mother of my child.
This video was very helpful, cause I'm in a relationship with my fiance and we have a child together, but I know that we have been fornication and I didn't know if I would have to break up with him given that we have been dating for a very long time, now I now what my options are and how to repent and do the right thing.
You have a child together? In the Bible to know(have sex with) someone was to become either a wife or a concubine. Usually when they had sex, it was marriage. I would talk to him and see what he thinks about marriage in God’s eyes. It’s not the government that sanctions marriage, but it’s a vow you two make before God. And HE will not hold either of you guiltless if you break the bond. Have you two already privately vowed one to another?
What if I live with my boyfriend for 4 years and have a child together. He don’t want to go to church or pray. He only pray when he feel like he need to. And he don’t wanna get married and I’m also scared of divorce. I can’t go by myself to church cuz he’ll probably breakup with me. He don’t want me to go anywhere without him and I’m a stay at home mom with one child.
Can anyone please answer this question!! When is the right time to fully let my guard down? Also too, when the moment i start falling in love-Guys can sense BOTH these things easily, so then my issue is: once this happens 2, 3, 4 months or even a year down the road--then they dump me! So the guy can let his guard down from day 1, but not me? I'm confused??
My advice is that you guard your heart to the level of commitment there is. No commitment you should be guarded. Once you get married you have the ultimate commitment and that's when you can "fully" let your guard down
@@SunnySummer777 You should read the book "Why Men Love B!tches" ... don't let the title of the book scare you. It's a great book on how men like women with a life of their own and will work to be a part of their (women) life because their (women) lives aren't just focused around their men. Giving your all is actually the worse thing you can do.
@@faa1412 I already read that book. Including her 2nd one. I already have a life of my own....i also have been working 2 jobs for almost 3 years so I can support myself and pay my own Bill's(you cant depend on any man these days). DON'T assume every woman who's looking for a life partner "doesn't have a life"... I know plenty of single & divorced woman who have a life of their own and always have-but the truth is-Men are Never pleased! You can have all the qualities a man wants and They still won't be satisfied! Btw, I'm with someone else now for almost 6 months. It takes BOTH people to make a relationship work, so you do need to give your part to...if You're making the man do every single thing in the relationship...that's a way to push a man back to resenting you and keep you single. You should know that there's men out there too looking for a life partner to...and you know what their "life of their own" is? Playing videos games, eating junk, going to the gym, or going out drinking, partying, hanging with friends. Us men &woman aren't THAT different, most of us have a life of our own and by finding someone to live it with-theres nothing wrong with that either. What's funny is that, men have more trouble being alone than woman do! Thats why they have so many 1 night stands, that's their "life" YET we woman are getting told to have a life of our own?!? These double standards are beyond ridiculous.
2:00 Sexual immorality isn't really defined anywhere in the Bible - it's always presented in the context of giving yourself up to lust licence or pagan practices, but there's no clear definition what exactly that means
Those things are recorded in the OT but not commanded by God in the OT. God's people have often rebelled against his ways and the OT records what they did. Some of the OT is commands to be followed and some of it is written record of what happened and not instruction to be followed.
Those were included so that we could see that no matter who a person is, he/she will still have sinful tendencies and so that we could see that we really all fall short of God's glory so we should trust only Christ.
Amen, I agree with this video he's right on point with it. On who had a great relationship and had sex. What should if it wring or what they should do. 😇👍🎤
I'm a little confused about the point you make between 3:00 and 3:44. It sounds like you're saying if you're having sex then if possible you could just get married soon if you can't stop??
Thanks for the video Mark! I have a question about the third option... How much time should the break up last? Should we be apart for a month? 3 months? What would you recommend?
What if i dont want to marry because i grew up in a very unhappy marriage where my mother was a captive of my cruel psychopathic father. Am i condemned to a lifetime of loveless celebacy because of this? This talk is so narrow as if everyone comes from a healthy family background. It is not black and white. There are many shades of grey.
Question that complicates my situation my GFs ex divorced her so is marrying an option? We fell away before we met but we’ve been trying to walk the walk daily and don’t want to be living in adultery everyday
Thanks mark i needed that, sometimes it's very hard to relate with somebody especially if u know the person,What about if she is married and for almost 4 years separate with his husband And she have BF and had sex, what is your opinion about this relationship?
I took the first option. When my wife and I first dated, we both knew we loved each other. It was more natural for me to be myself with her, then anyone else. We both burned with passion for each other. Rather than wait and upset the Lord, we got married after dating for 6 months. Going on 16 years now with two beautiful children. Despite us making mistakes, the Lord offered us a way to make it right and we listened. He has blessed us with two children, who I can’t imagine life without. Where I’ve failed in faith, He’s been faithful. Where I am weak, He is strong. Our culture says wait until your older and financially secure to get married. This isn’t natural. Our bodies tell us it’s. Or natural. OUR HORMONES tell us it’s not natural and our ability to have healthy pregnancies diminishes as we age. We were broke when we got married, but God made a way because we obeyed.
I think God brought me to this video for a purpose. This has served as a reminder to honor and respect my woman. Thank you.
I’m dealing with this now and I feel the same exact way.
it really hurts when the person you want to get married to can't get rid of this ...but I trust God in the process
If marriage isn’t an option...break it off. You will get hurt from not guarding your heart and that’s a whole different pain to heal from
I strongly believe that God 's word is true and he will not go against his words, it's not an easy thing to do but when we endulge in the right things there are always blessings which follow although none of us are perfect and have fallen short one way or another, so we are to look up to God and not man, I really appreciate ur time, effort and videos.The Holy Spirit is surely present
@@maryanneville4397 So true. I was married for 8 years and going through a divorce. While separated from my now X-wife I met a woman and began dating her..We fell into sexual sin while I was still married and did this for 9 months. Well shortly after everything was complete on my divorce, me and my "so-called" girlfriend broke up and man it hurt. After I prayed about it, I realized that I couldn't be mad. God allowed this breakup to happen because I was doing this in sin. I felt like God showed me that he won't bless a relationship when we're acting out of lust and sin.
Thank You Lord for showing me that..🤲
Only if you enter the relationship and have expectations your heart will get broken.
Is dry humping or kissing or oral sex a sin??or just penetration?
@@trisharamlall9973 Not gonna lie I thought about those things aswell and thought was it ok? But if you truly wanna please God it's best you keep those things in marriage, it will be considered a sin and an abomination. However kissing on the lips some say is fine but if it turns into a session, then its not acceptable.
Myself and my fiancé were sinning but now we’ve both turned to Jesus and abstaining while we plan our wedding
I agree as well! It’s very hard to live by the Word but I honestly think Gods word helps protects your heart, mind, and body. Saying No to sex to guys I have dated who are “Christian” has saved me from heartache and wasting time on the wrong person.
Amen, so true!!!
@B0omer96 I guess that at the end of the day it all comes to down to the spiritual maturity of man. The Holy Spirit is way stronger than the flesh. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. If the man is spiritually mature and lives by the Spirit, no matter how strong the sex drive will be, the Holy Spirit will always dominate
As a random passerby could I ask how it's going now? Cause I'm probably where you were at then and I wasn't to know what you've experienced
I realise after going through the comments that this video is 6years old and it just confirms how the word of God will always be relevant...thank you for this insight and am blessed that the Holy Spirit convicted us and now we are on a renewed journey in honoring God and know over the past year of repenting and being intentional God will be glorified in the end of the it all.
the problem is the more we stayed together we started to break some of the boundaries. and finally we gave in. we were still in school so we promised eachother it willnot happen again. and the more we tried to stop our self the more it became impossible. finally we broke it of! and 6 month back we came back. we are engaged now. the problem was we broke the boundaries we had. so now we implemented strict boundaries for ourselves
Real conversation about temptation
ruclips.net/video/hmseHZLYLtg/видео.html
Get married already, cus it's more difficult to try and stay celibate if you have already done it, the best way would be to break up or get married as soon as possible so as to avoid torturing yourselves.
yes, boundaries are important. Through that you build trust. Getting married quickly after falling into sin does not help you build or re-build trust, and it affects the marriage. The examples I know where they did that, they either are now divorced or went through a very difficult period; some were separated for a time. More to think about
@@quinoasongs2507 I would love to talk talk to you. Maybe on WhatsApp, Instagram or something.
@@elizabethonogwu1777 why?
I was beginning to drown in self guilt and thinking murder thoughts. It really destroyed my relationship with God
Thanks for this message! I've broken up with him and decided to focus on God
I started reading the book you recommended by Redeemed like David 🙏🏼
I agree 100% with all points. With option #3 (taking time off ) I think it is a good solution because the distance apart will confirm if this is the person you want to marry-they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Also, it is an opportunity to take some time with the Lord to pray and fast(after repentance ) to hear God's voice and make sure that the other person is the one God wants you to marry and if it is the right time to do so. Sexual attraction and the "want" to marry can sometimes fog ones vision. Best let God clear it up. 🤓 Btw Mark...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
Great points Rose Morales, I didn't think of that but you are right, one benefit of taking time away is to confirm what feelings are true and which are just lustful. And thanks for the Fathers Day wishes :)
@@rosem.3533 Great answer Rose! Very good advice I think!
Amen
Never thought I would find myself here!
Aloha,
I’m stoked you did a video on this topic, it seems like sometimes people think this is taboo to have conversation about. Sometimes people fall short of the glory and need to hear that the world isn’t over. Mahalo for being honest and humble with the options I agree with all of them and I think you did a good job articulating each one. Please do more videos on topics like these, our generation could really use the guidance without the pride and perfection of Christian performance.
so true!
Amen chinaG, we all need the truth but we need it spoken in love too. God bless!
I love how you phrased this, and I agree our generation DEFINITELY needs to hear more conversations like this.
So true
R u Hawaiian
The major concern I have in this- “Leading to Marriage” if a couple failed to keep the abstinence from sex is People end up “Marrying for the Wrong Reasons” then end up having Failed Marriages and Others being Miserable for so many Years......
People who lack Discernment. People who are slowly or just beginning to Grow-in-Christ, may end up marrying a Narcissist or Sociopath. There are so many of them out there...... wether it’d be a supposedly “Christian”.
Other Christians may end up- Marrying for the wrong reasons for the sake of sexual desire. But, not have- A Godly and Biblical Marriage.
To be Married- you have to be Ready!
You have to be the Right Person (First)-
- for one another.
People get Married and they are not even ready to be A Good/Godly Husband/Wife at all.
People get involved in Relationships just because they want company. They don’t want to be alone. They like the concept of having somebody there by their side or for them.
And- the notion of being in A Relationship= Happiness.
I believe, that if a couple unfortunately crossed that Boundary..... That they should Truly “REPENT”. Doesn’t need to Break Up, unless the Other or Both of them continue to Struggle.
You should NEVER-- get Married
for the Wrong Reasons.
Marriage is A Commitment!!!
Marrying A Person who is not Equally-Yoke
with You leads to Suffering and Unhappiness!!!
The Person you end up- Marrying
will have TREMENDOUS Affect in Your Life:
Health. Mind. Emotions. Personal-Relationship
with GOD. Finances, etc.
I could ONLY HOPE-- for Others to Grow in Discernment through Christ.
Be Blessed and GOD Speed.....
By the way..... I HIGHLY Recommend
that you WATCH 📺 (his Other VIDEO):
“12 Reasons NOT TO HAVE SEX Before Marriage”
A GREAT Blessing or Assurance and ENCOURAGEMENT 😇
Very well said !
Wow well said !
Thank you Mark. I wish my ex could have seen this last month. After he broke up with me God directed me to fast for 3 months so I can fully commit myself to Him. That is what I am doing.
PinkiePie 44 wow really? That’s over twice as long as Jesus! Why would he require that of you?
Mam, read the word of God. There is no such thing as premarital sex. There are no laws in the Torah about pre-marital sex for a reason.
Why? Because once you have sex you are now married to that man. Casual sex is a design of Satan, it’s a defilement of what is already considered marriage.
Michael 534 i will look into it thank you.
3 months??? Fast from food?
Did you survive?
@@richardvargus7443 😂
Great reminders. I have tried to teach my girls this. One is 26, and the other is 31, both are lovely.
Why is this not preached more often? Im wondering why most of the messages that I hear implies that you should be an overcomer in this arena before you are "worthy" of getting married, thus you should break up. From what I understand, Paul is saying one should marry if they are struggling. But most people would preach and go the other direction where they wait before they dont struggle anymore before they can say that yep I can marry. It's like, Im dirty, but I want to be clean first before Im worthy to take a bath.
Pastor Mark, why do people emphasize breaking up instead of balancing their message with a word about marriage?
Preach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good point !!
I’m a pastors kid, which means I’m quite about these topics. How can I speak openly when the pastor is my parent and when my parent is my pastor. This HELPED me so much! God bless
Thank you I had to make boundaries because our kissing got out of had, I asked to wait until marriage which my boundaries wasn't respected, so I had to beak it off and also flee from sexual sin.
Same here... now he’s back .
I think making a plan to not commit sexual sin is also helpful. That way you don’t rush into marriage and don’t continue to commit sin.
Exactly man , please help me . Me and my girlfriend who are both christian seem to be struggling with the sexual sin , the thing is the relationship clearly is ordained by God because he’s spoke to us and given us gifts we pray together , speak in tounges together , we even spread the gospel together. In my heart I know she’s my soulmate , the only issue is we are both 19 years old we can’t get married to early. I truly believe I just need resist the spirit of temptation and I think the times me and my partner are staying awake play a part. We seem to only fight that strong feeling of sexual tension at witch hours so from like 2-3 am . Through out the day we pray and pray and pray and we don’t do any sexual acts . Number 2 we sleep together thinking we can fight the urge but it’s like we are putting ourselves in the situation . I just don’t want this sexual sin to split us apart .
I love and respect her so much I just don’t know what to do
@@emailemail321what happened?? And why would you sleep on the SAME bed?
Paul said if They cannot exercise self control let
Them marry!
Be aware before breaking up with someone you've had sex with that there's a high possibility of thinking of that person during relations when you move on and marry someone else. Even thinking of someone sexually is a sin, so my suggestion is to marry the person you've had relations with. I pray that everyone who isn't a virgin has only had it with one person or is very moved on from past sexual relations. Jesus has a way out: sex can be for building up your relationship and honoring God if in marriage, not just to be in sin and be wicked!
Real conversation about temptation
ruclips.net/video/hmseHZLYLtg/видео.html
I think this was the actual point to adress, but the guy in the video completely missed it.
I can definitely testify that after sexual sin has occurred between two people who are attracted to each other, it’s almost impossible not to have sexual thoughts about that specific person. So if you break up to repent, it most likely will put you in a very tricky position.
you will very likely continue to think about that person sexually and hence….commit adultery in your heart every time a memory comes back of that sexual instance.
This WILL hurt you massively and might hurt your marriage as well if you end up marrying someone else.
Some people think that god can heal you / heal your memory…
But to be honest I think the principle of reaping what you’ve sawn is paramount.
God does forgive a repenting sinner. No question about it.
But those memories won’t just go away… so you will have to deal with constant temptation.
In my opinion the best thing is getting married if sexual si has happened.
But if that is not possible… (for example if the other person is an unbeliever) then it would be better to remain single until you stop having sexual thoughts towards the person you sinned with.
And that might take many years.
Maybe that is even why some people are “kept single” by God.
Their sins are forgiven but they still hold on to them in their heart.
Mmmmmmmmmmbbmb hmm nbbn m nnvm MB nm mom I’m mmmm mn I’m on on I’m bmn m mm mhm m in umm hm m b nvm mhm nvm mhm nvm n m m nvm m min nvm n m nvm n n bammaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeelll or
@@laurapiovan Exactly man , please help me . Me and my girlfriend who are both christian seem to be struggling with the sexual sin , the thing is the relationship clearly is ordained by God because he’s spoke to us and given us gifts we pray together , speak in tounges together , we even spread the gospel together. In my heart I know she’s my soulmate , the only issue is we are both 19 years old we can’t get married to early. I truly believe I just need resist the spirit of temptation and I think the times me and my partner are staying awake play a part. We seem to only fight that strong feeling of sexual tension at witch hours so from like 2-3 am . Through out the day we pray and pray and pray and we don’t do any sexual acts . Number 2 we sleep together thinking we can fight the urge but it’s like we are putting ourselves in the situation . I just don’t want this sexual sin to split us apart .
@@laurapiovan is there any prayers me and my gf can recite or ways to keep our relationship pure
This really helped me with my walk with the Lord and situation with my girlfriend thanks
Needed this. We are getting married 2 months
Congrats!
Oops! I'm a bit late
Happy married life!
congratulations.you must be very proud
Wow
Thank God Ptr. Mark included this in his list. I was in a beautiful yet unhonorable friendship/relationship with my exboyfriend. Although he was a kind, humble, compassionate, intelligent, and generally responsible kind of guy and someone I'm attracted to, because he's still an unbeliever, I know I was not following and honoring the Lord. I wish I watched this before we met in 2013 but glory and praises to Jesus for His plans and Sovereignty.
Edit: Thank God for the wisdom. I've been thinking for yrs tho I didn't expect the third option he mentioned.
URHO TM .. WOW, exactly and that's the hardest thing... You think maybe they will get saved thru you somehow... You justify... It's the little foxes that spoil the Vines... Been there., God bless. 🕊
This video really makes sense. I will share with my partner and we see what's best for us
The problem is I see sex before marriage as a sin my boyfriend doesn't...
I’m not sure if this is still your situation. You should definitely pray to God for wisdom. Wisdom and guidance on these types of things came be tricky, but helpful. One thing to remember though is that if he’s not willing to open his heart to God then he isn’t for you. Respectfully. I hope that you find a solution and clarity!
I am in the same situation. Any changes since last year that you posted this message? Because my boyfriend also sees is not as a sin. He said we are already connected, in a relationship. He almost sees a relationship the same as marriage. Because both are a commitment and marriage (in terms of getting a ring, ceremony etc.) are not in the bible.
I'm in this situation too.
I gave my life to Christ and repented already and he is yet to do thesame. He doesn't seem to see anything wrong with sex before marriage. We had alot in common, he loves me and desperately want to marry me. I love him too. He's my first and I want him to be the last.
I truly don't want another man. But God's will be done.😢
@@MsRacheal5451 I am also in this situation. I just re-dedicated my life to jesus. My partner wants to go on the same journey but I don't want to defile myself by sleeping with him still/we also live together. I am praying for guidance and wisdom.
Today I started thinking about this and I'm still trembling so bad because I don't want to get married to either of the 2 guys I had previously fornicated with. I didn't have full on intercourse with either of them but we fornicated. They aren't the godly men I have been dreaming of. I really do not want to go back I have repented, but I don't wanna burn for not staying with either of those guys.
There need to be ministries that help people vulnerable to this sin. What if you have nowhere to flee to? What if you keep running into the very same kinds of situations when you do flee? Not everyone has resources to start a new life. Just my thoughts.
Exactly. I live with my boyfriend. My parents are older & live far away. Also kicked me out before and I cannot afford to live alone. I have no way out and no way into marriage with my boyfriend unless he helps pay for it & helps me look into all the legal stuff..I’m lost. I pray constantly because I don’t want us to go to Hell for this. And I love him dearly. But for God I guess if I had enough money..I’d live separate . Bf says we aren’t ready for marriage but I think he’s just afraid of marriage bc both our parents are split
Thanks you so much for this brother I've been struggling with this uk after you commit that sin nd it's like you don't wanna cut that person off completely but you also don't wanna put yourself in a situation where you can dishonor God I think I'll definitely go with the 3rd Option.
Amen MANNY TV, as long as you honor the Lord that's what is most important
Real conversation about temptation
ruclips.net/video/hmseHZLYLtg/видео.html
Hey Mark. I pray you are doing extremely well in the name of the Lord. Thanks for all the content that helps me in dating and in the life of Christian relationships with godly women. God bless you and your family ten fold brother 🙏💙💙💙💙
Amen Truth Don't Sleep, God bless you too!
This is so good! Thank you so much for bringing up delicate matters that I even dread to ask a pastor or elder that's close to me at church. God bless!
I agree with the 3 points but I think there are other things missing, because if you really want to show you repent from sexual sin the first thing to do is confess your sexual sin to the pastors, then after you talk to them you can figure out if your relationship is mature enough to go on a marriage. If it's not mature and you notice it will not work in a marriage then go to step two, and break up because is in the process of discipline that those two persons will learn how not to fall into that sexual immorality again on a future relationship. Then if the third opcion wants to be applied then you go through the discipline process separately and during that period of time you will both grow spiritually and make sure that God wants you two together again and you will be able to overcome that sexual desire with that person until you are able to be married.
i dont understand. if the apostle paul is offering marriage as a protection from sinning, why would you want to sort of overcome the sin by yourself (meaning apart from marriage) first before availing that offered protection? It's like Paul is saying, marry because you are struggling. on the other hand, it's like youre saying, ill marry when im not struggling anymore.
I dnt trust pastors...no way
Wanted this teaching very badly thanks a lot
Tambudzai Nyenwa 👍
For anyone who are virgins stay like that until you find someone that wants to keep it holy and pure. I regret having relations with my gf of 5 years.
At first we didn't do it but recently we started to do it for months. But that's when I didn't let Jesus into my heart I was saved when I was deep depression that later was cured by God. since that moment I felt amazing. Now I want to leave my relationship but some many times I've failed because I'm afraid to hurt her especially when she's losing her grandmother. I was close but that stopped me. I still want to get right with God but I don't want to get married so soon. I'm 22 years old still in college and still investing my money and my life.
This video help me think that I should leave. By the way, she call herself a Christian but still wants to commit sexual sin. God bless you and all followers of Christ.
You are also sinning. Shed lost her grandma n you want to abandon her . Your will receive divine retribution.
I just got out of a relationship and man. It has been painful for the last four months.. I’ve never known what healthy relationship looks like I’ve been in and out of church. And always seem to end up toxic relationship. This last one definitely hit differently. I felt so disconnected at church and just desperate to find love for my very first conversation situated something sexual, but I ignored it and and then a couple weeks later she brings up the topic and ignored it again. we ended up having sex and after that it was just pretty much the foundation of our relationship. When we started dating, she had told me that the guy that she was seen before me who she had rebounded after her ex was actually her kids soccer coach that she had barely cut things off with him about three weeks of us getting to know each other. It was so uncomfortable for me with that guy being her ex but for some reason, I just felt like I couldn’t let go, and I forced myself to be in a relationship. In the whole month we were together she never told her family or catholic friends about me. She would even have me hide from her ex husband because he didn’t know about me. She would also track his location. And constantly made comparisons and talk bad about him. He even told me that you feel lucky that I jumped to the front of the line as many guys after out. We still having problems because I kept pretty much telling her that all these things felt uncomfortable for me, but she’s pretty much told me to get over it. I have experienced a lot of my past so a lot of these things just triggered me and I just became all these things myself that I know I still need healing from and it is a really I was really resentful, but I know that it was my responsibility to walk away, but for some reason, I feel like I couldn’t I thought so attached her. But in the end, she broke up with me and I continue to try to force it. It has been really hard, but I haven’t taken support to my church and I’ve been to Counseling and people that help me to see all these things how unhealthy they were even though for me in the moment it seem healthy. But I see now how sex and cloud and judgment. That now I can find the healing through God to be able to one day be in a godly, healthy relationship and break the pattern of toxic relationship.
First like and comment! Thank you for another great vlog and Happy Father's Day!
Thanks weenieboys 2, God bless!
my ex and I struggled with sexual sin. We had been talking about marriage and a family one day. When we started struggling, we immediately tried to set boundaries and make changes so we could stop. But it just got more and more out of control. We ended up breaking up because it was so stressful and anxiety producing. After breaking up we met up and talked about the possibility of coming back together one day. But then a couple days after that conversation he told me he had been praying and felt like God was telling HIM there's someone else for me. Didn't make any sense to me and still doesnt.
Same boat.
I think it was a for a good purpose..It never made sense that time but as u keep waiting on God it will...
Thank you so much for this. It has tremendously helped me and even brought freedom. Thank You Lord.
Exodus 22:16 - if you have sex with a virgin you’re expected to marry them. Leaving them is the wicked thing to do because that is sex without assuming responsibility of what you did.
Mark... I'm a Christan lady..a very young 58... Having been dating a man that was raised Catholic. He walked away from the church because he said he didn't agree with their Doctrine and knew it was wrong. He says he believes in Jesus and is saved however I do not see the fruits of the spirit in him certainly not in a consistent way. He is an attorney and a judge from time to time filling in as needed however a lot of times he acts very immature at 63 years old, and he wants me to bend to his way of things he seems to lie to argue over silly things which I find disturbing he's chronically late and when I say late, I mean he will be 5 hours late he doesn't seem to be able to keep his word which is another red flag and everything seems to be about him and what he likes to do and we go round and round Yeti tells me he is deeply in love with me and I find that he is nothing but full of words. I have laid out the gospel for him more times than I can count he has been to church with me several several times we have had discussions about the Lord and I'm the one always bringing it up he won't leave me alone I have told him I wish him well I love him but I don't think we're on the same page and then how can two walk together unless they be agreed and he says that I speak riddles to him. Is he has unless he's lied about things there's his soul to me about things he's done in his past things he's had to do for our country things that people will never know because they were done off the books he was not enlisted seen a lot of very horrible things any questions is there any good in the world he knows there that there are but he's been through so many bad things that he has a hard time trying to figure out where he fits into it so my question is I have tried to break free of him countless times and he just keeps coming back and bugging me and the thought is come to me that maybe Satan is using him to try to pull me away from Jesus and I'm trying to figure out how to break free of him is this known as a soul-tie? I've seen this term used I'm not really familiar with it and we did dabble a little bit into sexual sin and I repented of it and when I did I cut it off completely and that kind of turned him back and he said he understood it and respected it but he's also not been the same since and I I I told him at that point I can no longer see you and he will not take no for an answer. . So this is where I'm at. Have you any biblical advise for how I can in a loving yet tactful Stern way of getting rid of him I thought maybe my job per se was to try to lead him to the Lord but I realize it's not my job to save him I planted more than enough seeds... Thank you Mark for your encouraging videos I watch them all the time.
Oh my goodness that sounds so familiar to me down to the last detail except mine isn't Catholic he's Jewish and doesn't believe. I'm in the same situation except haven't been intimate. How are you now? I too think it's probably a trap of the enemy and i let go but he keeps coming back. I just decided to pray for him. No one can come to the Jesus unless God draws them. I have to let him go and pray for him. If you're still with him don't give in and let him influence you away from Jesus because he will. Pray every day and surrender your will to God. Please let me know how you're doing
@@bellag2864 I'm in the same situation the only difference is that I'm fornicating
My exboyfriend was christian and I am catholic, but in this case it was the other way, he NEEDED to have sex so we can know each other in that way, and because we already had sex and love each other and were looking forward to marry, "Jesus wont see it as a sin". Long story short? After 1 week he dated another girl, and marry her after 3 weeks of dating. I sin to pleased him and he just said "oh I rush into things, my bad". Satan is everywhere and the Word tell us to guard our hearts and beware of wolves dressed like sheeps.
@@JirafitaTinstaafl that's messed up 😔 I'm sorry you had to go through that
@@MsRita2014 that just happened to me less than 2 months ago, so I'm still suffering, I hope you are already doing well, but if not (because I know is very difficult sometimes) you can count on me to be listened. Regards!
I absolutely agree .. thabk you for the great video Mark. Will check out the books too 😊
My pleasure Lilian Juma
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom is is genuinely appreciated !!
Glad it was helpful!
wow. thank you for your wisdom. ❤
All glory to God!
If love is patient, perhaps what God is trying to tell, is to work and try to be saint looking forward to develop love as God wants. Otherwise I think, it would be like "ok lets get married because our instict told us" instead of develop love for each other. When you have been dating for just weeks or a couple of months, is just the "honeymoon" phase and you cannot be objective for a decision like this. God tell us to guard our hearts, God tell us to know him so can love him (because without knowledge we cannot love), God tell us to glorify him through marriage and leading by our flesh is to go contrary to what God commands. As he tell us to look for Him and not for the things of the world. God despises divorce and marry someone to satisfy lust (in order not to sin) is not taking marriage seriously as marriage is more than sex. This kind of answer is also an argument that manipulators and narcissists can use to convice someone to rush into marriage. I know this was based in the Bible, but it is just the opposite to the very first thing God say about love "love is patient".
This video was extremely helpful!
So glad this was helpful to you!
@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger I liked your view on this
Thank you deeply for this.
My boyfriend and I have been living together 2 years. I have come back to the Lord in the last 6 months fully. I cut him off almost completely with a couple slips. It has caused major resentment and I am afraid cheating on his part. I wanted to get married but he doesn't treasure marriage as anything but a piece of paper and is still married but they have been apart over 10 years. Even as a Christian he doesn't respect my love for God and desire to be sexually pure. It hurts so much and I do not understand how a believer can have zero conviction in this area. I realize now it is a very toxic relationship but really struggling to let go. I can't imagine spending my life or marrying anyone else. But how can I marry him and trust him? I realize to that he is probably not the godly man the Lord has for me.
God doesn't call us to marry people who make us ignore our biblical conviction ❤️hope you are able to leave him as he is not helping you in your walk with God. That's already a big red flag.
Make the full sacrifice and move out. Move out and break it off with him. Move towns if you like.
While you've broken up, pray for him.
What if you continue dating but cease all sexual activities until marriage?
One other recommendation I can give is to go to your church. Seek accountability and talk to your pastor about your struggles. If you can’t talk to your pastor about this issue, find one that you can.
I want to ask please, what if you are not financially capable yet for marriage what do you do?
This really helped a lot, God bless you
I fell into sexual and sensual sin because of extreme attraction. I often went to confession after these actions. I was so in love with this guy and burned from passion to him. I would have married him just only because of that. He already had a marriage behind him with 3 kids. I wanted a new start with him.
We are both Christian but with him I became kind of lukewarm because of the attraction and erotic. I talked about marriage, he didn't.
After about 2 months of dating, he left me. I am still struggling with my feelings to him, I wanted to marry him but as it seems he didn't want this.
Sorry voice texting... That little man in my phone changed my words... Lol
One of the tough things I see is the juxtaposition of biblical values and abstinence with very long modern dating timelines.
Thank you. Very helpful!
Thanks for sharing that was a question that's been ringing in my mind for🙏🙏
Thank you my friend amen 🙏
There's a dating site for Celebate singles and those practicing abstinence
What is it called?
This helps thanks so much for this
This helped a lot!
Wow thanks for the advice
Paul said it is better to be single but if you can't control yourself then get married.
lol
Cari Paul said exactly this.. they never preach this in church though.. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 " 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion"
I have a video on that passage and topic ruclips.net/video/Ye5DL_KNm1s/видео.html
Love this. Very good 😊
What about for teenagers 13-17 yearolds ?
Sex and abstanance?
Reduce time spent together. Once a week and don't be alone. Have an accountability partner who is a trusted mature person who loves God.
Thank you, Brother!
Hi I have sin me and my girlfrienf so many times. And I feel my heart so in pain, because I have sin against the Lord and against her. Now I'm in shame.
Thanks bro. I really appreciate this video. God bless
True, true, true!!!
Courtship is biblical but dating is rather worldly.
Neither are in the Bible
I’m dating someone and I am not having sex but we kissed. We flirt but I explained I cannot be physical. It sucks that I will have to cut things off bc I am not strong enough to do it alone
My boyfriend wants to marry me someday but he has a lot of debt that would hurt us if we did get married. He also doesn't want to break up.. How can we deal with this.
Thank you so muchh. God bless you
Jesus bless you
thank you so much for this video
Good evening children of God .i seriously need every ones help . I fornicated many times while being a Christian. Then there came a young lady who i loved but she wasn't Godly, came a time where I stayed with her in my room near a university i am studying in. She fell pregnant while I and the lady were arguing because she lacks maturity and we were incompatible(we don't see the same picture of life) I broke up with her and i take care of my child with the little money i have. after that another lady came , we fornicate , I recently started working on my relationship with God,but she is not Godly, my life style does not excite her and this relationship is toxic due to her actions since last year.
my question is, how do I honor God in this situation?, neither of these ladies are compatible for me to marry, including the mother of my child.
This video was very helpful, cause I'm in a relationship with my fiance and we have a child together, but I know that we have been fornication and I didn't know if I would have to break up with him given that we have been dating for a very long time, now I now what my options are and how to repent and do the right thing.
You have a child together?
In the Bible to know(have sex with) someone was to become either a wife or a concubine.
Usually when they had sex, it was marriage.
I would talk to him and see what he thinks about marriage in God’s eyes. It’s not the government that sanctions marriage, but it’s a vow you two make before God. And HE will not hold either of you guiltless if you break the bond. Have you two already privately vowed one to another?
Can we get married to whom we fornicate If we repent?? Please answer
What if I live with my boyfriend for 4 years and have a child together. He don’t want to go to church or pray. He only pray when he feel like he need to. And he don’t wanna get married and I’m also scared of divorce. I can’t go by myself to church cuz he’ll probably breakup with me. He don’t want me to go anywhere without him and I’m a stay at home mom with one child.
If one is christian and the other is not and fall in sexual sin. Wat should do?
Break up
Can anyone please answer this question!! When is the right time to fully let my guard down? Also too, when the moment i start falling in love-Guys can sense BOTH these things easily, so then my issue is: once this happens 2, 3, 4 months or even a year down the road--then they dump me! So the guy can let his guard down from day 1, but not me? I'm confused??
My advice is that you guard your heart to the level of commitment there is. No commitment you should be guarded. Once you get married you have the ultimate commitment and that's when you can "fully" let your guard down
@@SunnySummer777 You should read the book "Why Men Love B!tches" ... don't let the title of the book scare you. It's a great book on how men like women with a life of their own and will work to be a part of their (women) life because their (women) lives aren't just focused around their men. Giving your all is actually the worse thing you can do.
@@faa1412 I already read that book. Including her 2nd one. I already have a life of my own....i also have been working 2 jobs for almost 3 years so I can support myself and pay my own Bill's(you cant depend on any man these days). DON'T assume every woman who's looking for a life partner "doesn't have a life"... I know plenty of single & divorced woman who have a life of their own and always have-but the truth is-Men are Never pleased! You can have all the qualities a man wants and They still won't be satisfied! Btw, I'm with someone else now for almost 6 months. It takes BOTH people to make a relationship work, so you do need to give your part to...if You're making the man do every single thing in the relationship...that's a way to push a man back to resenting you and keep you single. You should know that there's men out there too looking for a life partner to...and you know what their "life of their own" is? Playing videos games, eating junk, going to the gym, or going out drinking, partying, hanging with friends. Us men &woman aren't THAT different, most of us have a life of our own and by finding someone to live it with-theres nothing wrong with that either.
What's funny is that, men have more trouble being alone than woman do! Thats why they have so many 1 night stands, that's their "life" YET we woman are getting told to have a life of our own?!? These double standards are beyond ridiculous.
i truly needed this
What if you are dating someone who isn’t as spiritual advanced as you and they live with you
Dating christians shouldn't be living together or they are bound to fall. We have to guard ourselves.
2:00 Sexual immorality isn't really defined anywhere in the Bible - it's always presented in the context of giving yourself up to lust licence or pagan practices, but there's no clear definition what exactly that means
Should they still marry if full of lust, doesn't that cause problems? Maybe a break and get some spiritual counseling.
But how are u supposed to do it after marriage if u can't have lustfull thoughts?
I get your point made, but why did polygomy (wives, concubines) exists on the OT?
Those things are recorded in the OT but not commanded by God in the OT. God's people have often rebelled against his ways and the OT records what they did. Some of the OT is commands to be followed and some of it is written record of what happened and not instruction to be followed.
Those were included so that we could see that no matter who a person is, he/she will still have sinful tendencies and so that we could see that we really all fall short of God's glory so we should trust only Christ.
@@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger Amen. Dharius Daniels put it like this, some things in the Bible God “Describes” and other things He “Prescribes”.
God bless you
Amen, I agree with this video he's right on point with it. On who had a great relationship and had sex. What should if it wring or what they should do. 😇👍🎤
I'm a little confused about the point you make between 3:00 and 3:44. It sounds like you're saying if you're having sex then if possible you could just get married soon if you can't stop??
Thanks for the video Mark! I have a question about the third option... How much time should the break up last? Should we be apart for a month? 3 months? What would you recommend?
Something I am also struggling with and would like to know!
I would seek God on that
What if i dont want to marry because i grew up in a very unhappy marriage where my mother was a captive of my cruel psychopathic father. Am i condemned to a lifetime of loveless celebacy because of this? This talk is so narrow as if everyone comes from a healthy family background. It is not black and white. There are many shades of grey.
Thanks for this
You made mention of sexual immoral activities pls can you list them cause am really confuse
Hello , what does separation entail. You stop talking for that period of time?
If he or she got engagement for marriage with thier family support is it okay. Are they can get intercourse or not? It is sin or not
Question that complicates my situation my GFs ex divorced her so is marrying an option? We fell away before we met but we’ve been trying to walk the walk daily and don’t want to be living in adultery everyday
Christian dating... *sigh* I'll give it a shot. Lolz.... I guess.
Thanks
Thanks mark i needed that, sometimes it's very hard to relate with somebody especially if u know the person,What about if she is married and for almost 4 years separate with his husband And she have BF and had sex, what is your opinion about this relationship?
Stay together!!!!! There is obviously a connection if you've had sex. It's a good sign!!!!!
What if you are not dating a christian ? But dating and what is the practice ?
This reminds me of a friend I have.