I was once hurting over my ex-gf… I once had a heartache that I would not wish to my worst enemy. To whomever reads this, I promise things get better. Be true to yourself. Someone better will come into your life and fill that void. God is great!
This is my personal experience and it's happening now. Im offering the perspective as a dumper. Im the one who walked away. We were in no contact for 6 months and there's never a single day I didn't think about her. What Coach Lee mentioned in previous videos are all true. Fading bias effect is true as at first, it was all anger. Then as time passes, I swung to missing her and recall only the positive things about her. It was the time when I mentally let her go that I relised I truly love her. I made contact. So now we are working on ourselves and fixing the relationship. Communication is so much better and we are seeing each other almost everyday now. It's still not a done deal but we are working on it. So to anyone that was dumped, I can tell you there is always hope. Hang in there, be strong and level up. But also bear in mind that you're going to be ok even if they don't come back.
Yeah. Good for you. My GF dumped me (I failed her I admit, as I didn't give her support and didn't see when she was falling apart), but she actually met another fancy boi when we were together on holiday. She then went to visit her family like 3 weeks after we came back from holiday. She met with him there. Then she came back home and she said it's over. I asked about her having other guy, and she bluntly refused,. She said it's her and she needs time. She start to come up with a lot of shit from our relationship. She said to our common friends that she doesn't say no to us, but she needs time. When she was packing all her stuff sending parcels home, and selling whatever she could, new boi was already with her family, helping them to unpack the scraps she was sending. Meanwhile she was still leaving with me, crying, cuddling and talking. SHe finally moved out and went back home. I found later that it was all planned from our vacation and she only went for like 3 weeks to help me, but then moved with him to another country. I also found out that she is badmouthing me. I know she has a new guy, which is seen in only superlatives, so she pant me in bad light to silence her conscience, but it's childish. She became completely different person, but I am hoping she will realize sooner or later what she did. I don't think we will ever be back, but man, we never had any toxic shit going on. I never abused her, I never looked for another one. I don't drink and party all the time. Never did anything to hurt her, and she is shitting on me and my family, where I have nothing against her family.
When my ex left, I dreamed of having my own NC success story. I wished so badly that she would come back, and now I'm really glad she never did, because I found someone so much better in every way.
Hey! its for the best. Sometimes it's just not meant to be. I have been in no contact for 4 month, long distance relationship as well. I feel there's no chance she's coming back, well she broke up with me for another guy that she claims she met him right after the breakup lol 😂 as if that's believable. I knew her for 2 years we have so many memories together. I think she's never coming back, although she broke no contact many times ! but it was only breadcrumbs. I only got a "how are you?" and she stops. I am still waiting for "i miss u" message and it's not working
@@Ahicksaf What if the person you connect with, you know is ur husband or ur soulmate Maybe it dun workout with you guys cuz in ur gut you knew she aint was the one or did u felt it from day 1?
@diaryofseresha i felt she was the one after a one year friends with benefits relationship. Then we decided to get serious and she said she has "doubts" about me but was willing to give it time since she said she loves. We have wonderful 3 month together sex and dates and jokes and sharing our childhoods. Suddenly she travels for 2 month, sends me a breakup text saying i am not for her. And she seemed very happy about leaving me. She claimed that she showed me love because she was depressed. This girl broke me mentally, never again i will allow such a lost unfaithful selfish woman in my life again.
@@Ahicksaf When she told u straightup at start that she only wanted fwbs. That was huge red flag, why u even gotten involved with her? And when she told u she wanted something serious later on, clearly she confused infatuation/lust with love till she realized ure not the one n then left. But for starters i would never even let no one touch me if they telling me straightup they only want fwbs. I dun believe in none of it. Go with someone who wants something serious from day 1, otherwise ull only waste ur time
I did the unthinkable. Somehow managed to not text her on her birthday. Took control of my emotions. Its a silly thing to be proud of, but its a big step.
That is a very big step. I’m sure that was one heck of a long day for you. Good for you be proud of yourself it sucks, but it will get better, and you deserve better. Hang in there.
Mine didnt so much as hear a peep out of me when Vday came and went 2 weeks after she dumped me. The next day I could see the anger in her face when we passed by each other in the street. The look of "how dare you not simp over me after i break your heart!" I loved the vitriol lol like a badge of honor
Day 66 and he contacted me. No contact works! It’s so difficult but Thanks coach Lee! I am listening to your videos all the time which made me stronger and survived no contact. I will reply to him but will be reserved like you told us to. I will not ignore him. May be this works. Wish me luck !
Hello I was just scrolling through the app and I got a psychic divination about you “you are still in love with someone, who you think doesn’t love you back” I’m I Correct?
The problem is, when that person Is a commitment phobe or avoidant, anything you do that shows you want to be close to them, anything that you do that shows you feel a connection to them, anything that you do to show or share emotion will make them loose attraction for you. You don't have to do anything but show feelings for them and they're out like a light switch going off.
And then they come back, and the cycle repeats while you are busy wasting time ,getting older, and the person who can actually give you what you want is busy getting married to someone else out there...
3 months away from her. Success story. 1 month and a half NC kinda ( she dumped me) , I deleted her number, she reached out more and more as time went by, when she came to pick up her things she looked at me and asked me to $@## her. I healed so much that she was crying and I was happy all the time. She kept suffering while NC I was healing. When she reached out I kept convo short it was mainly about her stuff. She picked up her stuff but left stuff behind hahaha. Be your own source of happiness and people will come, depend on them for happiness and they will run. Keep yourself busy doing things you love and less time with them and you will never depend on anyone emotionally to make you happy and you will not be needy.
I’ve been watching coach lee since the separation especially during my moments of weakness and I remained true to the advice. Today I received the message of “I want us to try again”… so here I am watching coach lee again bc I’m staying true to myself this time.
Update: so I responded after thinking what exactly to say while being true to myself. I was clear and firm with him while giving him a chance to find clarity in what I had to say. I explained to him how I’m happier since I moved on, if not the happiness I ever been. Without blasting him or digging to deep in the past, I explained why I felt like this and what brought me to this point. I made it clear that I no longer what you hear from him and I’m not angry, I’m just sure on my decision. He’s been continuing to reach out wanting to me and what’s crazy is that I dreamed for this day. The day where he is begging me and I get to make him feel bad but honestly I just find it annoying lol. During nc I wanted him to kno how I felt but once I got over that jump in time, I realized he would never b what I thought we would be. Interesting enough, him treating me so bad didn’t make me get over him, it was me allowing someone else to treat me right that made me wanna let go and never look back. I was single for 4 years hoping my ex would make a grand gesture and it never happened (bc I was to available to him) so once I buckled down and got my head in the game, I met a really awesome guy and he is truly the most beautiful, amazing, kind, genuine soul I ever came across. Thank you coach lee for helping me get thru the “impossible” bc like you said, nc isn’t a formula to just get your ex back but it’s to help you get over your ex if that’s what you wanna take from it. Even though I am in a happy place, I will never for get about these videos and refer to them as needed. Thanks coach lee!
I was dumped, and I still miss her like crazy. However, no contact is getting easier by the week. Telling yourself things like, "As long as she's happy" goes a long way, and puts you on a moral high ground so you feel better. Its been 4 months, and she's contacted me once. There has also been chatter about me from her friends. And I was randomly invited to a party by one of her good guy friends. So I'm not convinced she's completely moved on, however I have to convince myself that she has so I don't give myself false hope. I hope she's happy.
Day 19 NC and i almost feel myself disconnecting from her and now viewing the relationship through the lens of the past. It feels weird and terrifying but also somewhat comforting that I know i will be able to move on no matter what. If she comes back, great, but I may not want her by the time that happens
I did No contact, 2yrs went by, and I’m finally over her. Im back in my solo mind frame, And I’m going to just fly solo. Trust me you don’t want to get back with your x, once that magic is gone, it never comes back. Just be happy being single 👍🏻
I’m 2 years strong 💪🏽 guess no contact doesn’t work🤷🏽♂️ once a person decides to move on it’s because they no longer want you. Your purpose has already been served and in their minds they are looking for what you don’t have… and that is a different experience that makes them feel limerence. A spark that they had with you before but it wore out. People like this typically are serial daters. So if a person walks away from you and does not reach out within a few weeks/ months. They won’t regardless if you are using no contact. In fact they will have permanent relief because there’s no reason to explain themselves.
My ex thought that I'd accept friendship after the breakup. I pulled that rug right out from under him a month later. It felt good to put my foot down and tell him that friendship isn't enough for me. We were friends before the relationship, so in his head going back to being friends probably made sense-but I realized that friendship isn't going to work for me.
Mine asked if we could stay friends, I refused and only said “no”. She got really upset and got out of my car after that without saying anything else. I know my worth and I will never accept to be downgraded to a friend
I told him that maybe someday we can be friends, but for now, friendship wasn't going to work. Not sure if I messed up in that respect, but when I do get over him if we don't get back together, if our paths ever cross, I would be open to friendship. I also wanted to convey that he can still approach me if he wants to talk, just not as friends.
I checked a lot of videos about the subject and there seems to be some mixed signals if you should stay friends with an ex (to still have a chance) or not. But I will believe in the basics of psychology , that Lee is also very clear with - to get the best chance, they need to FEEL the loss - esp if you don't want them to leave you again and again - and they can't feel the loss if you are in a "comfortable" zone for them where you are still in their life. I try to comfort myself a lot with that. @@duan_meixuan And as @GANZOP also pointed out - knowing your worth is essential (and attractive!)
Ironically, when in no contact, the dumper realizes their feelings (or not) and the dumpee usually moves on. I still love and care about her, but at this point, I can’t see her being with me forever. At one point I did. But after she broke my heart a 2nd time and has said she thinks we should move on 4 times, I’m finally understanding.
I am (unfortunately) just starting to go through a big heart break. I am trying to be no contact, but I feel like an addict suffering withdrawals. I want to believe that he will eventually want me, but my pessimistic side thinks he will be married to someone else before the year is up. 😔
@GoodKnightChess He hasn't shown any interest in me since. I am at least not as broken as I was when it first happened. I'm still sad that it seems less and less likely he will ever want me again, becausewe meshed so well together in every way. 😟
One week into NC after breaking up about 2 weeks ago, these vids help alot. Thank you Coach Lee for keeping it as positive as possible and being so in touch with this topic, so many other 'coaches' spin so much of these same topics in such a negative light and your understanding and eloquence regarding these feelings and situations is a genuine help. So glad i found this channel, it really does make the hardest moments a little more bearable.
My ex and I dated for about two years, broke up once after he told me he was on tinder “to talk to bots”. Aside from that, there were quite a few other issues but mainly we just aren’t compatible enough. Somehow, we never got back together officially, but basically acted like we were still dating when we weren’t official for the next few years. We were going along as normal but decided to pull the rug out from under me and tell me he’s seeing someone (weeks after the fact). I sent about two messages before I went silent. I don’t want to get back together, but these videos help ease the pain of “why isn’t he reaching out, is he better off, is he relieved without me”. He’s always had significant dating trouble. These videos help give me the right perspective and these days (about a month later) I’ve started to forget about him.
You are absolutely correct. You hit it right on the nail, that's exactly what I went through. Gosh Coach Lee you're awesome👌 ❤Thank you for helping me understand my situation. It's going on 3 months for our break up w no contact and he just called me the other day, unfortunately it was for something in the nature of that he needed my advice because I had a good understanding on his situation he decided to call me. He didn't ask how I was doing and I didn't ask how he was doing we kept it simple and we hung up. And I don't think that I even care for us to get back together anymore. I'm beginning to see how I accepted all his flaws and seeing him only for the qualities I liked in him. I guess I loved him unconditionally but seeing how he handled my mistake and broke up, I've lost a lot of that love. Thank you again❣
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
It will get easier, I got dumped 9 months ago and I didn't think I'd ever get over that person, I made all the mistakes like begging and leaving the door open. If they left you then it's not up to you to fix what they broke. Leave them to it. Since I have been completely ghost the energy has shifted completely. Too late
I learned a long time ago the only person you can control is yourself. Going NC can only bring bigger and better things if we allow it by taking care of ourselves. If you didn’t do anything abusive or cheated, then reconsider getting back with someone who has such little commitment to a relationship unless they are willing to show that they’ll work on changing.
Just insanely difficult to take the all this pain after my recent breakup ,to a point I see myself even mentally affected ....as a mature individual I'm doing everything I can to hold on in this No contact period...only two weeks after our separation I'm depositing all of my hopes on Coach Lee .. hopefully months from now I'll be laughing about it.
I haven't been around but I like to briefly reflect when you pop up on suggested videos. You've helped me get through some tough times Coach and I appreciate you for that. No contact is the way to go and I am 100% thankful for taking that route. I have some amazing relationships with some amazing people because I didn't blow up and act foolish in an emotional time. After working on yourself and time passes, it is an amazing experience running into them and all the negativity is gone.
We decided to give each other space because of the international long distance. We still like each other but the situation will not change for at least 3 years. We are still students, no money no time no future. I just miss him more than anything. Can’t stop crying.
I have so much of respect for you Coach ! Such eloquence. You speak with such confidence and clarity and ever since my break up, I have binge watched your videos to gain a lot of clarity and perspective. I am in a much better space today. Like you have advised, each time I get into the "What, Why and How" cycle - I use the statement "If my ex is willing to leave all the crap and get back, I am open to consider" and after stating that to myself internally, I move on! 😊 My sincere and profound thanks to you and am sending you much much love and blessings! ❤
My wife broke up with me 2 months ago. It was totally unexpected. I would dearly love to send this video to her but I’m in the first month of No Contact, so I can’t. Great video coach.
I went no contact for 2 months and I got my ex back but the relationship isn't the same... Really Really consider that you might not really want your ex back! You might just want to leave them on your terms, not theirs.😳
Thank you@Coach Lee. After 9 months of no contact,she contacted me to check on me I was diplomatic in my response. After some few days she contacted again to seek for help which I did gave her. She called the following day to apologized I accept the apology and she started contacting for a come back. She told me she didn't get into any relationship but I'm finding it difficult to believe. I gave her the chance but I don't want to lose the power again. What should I do pls? No contact truly works. You gave me hope 😊😊😊
Spiritually uplift yourself. In that way, you will always have the power with you, no one can have an upper hand over you. If you are interested I can suggest you few things
When I broke up with gf I had a few years ago I did not get into any other relationship for a year and a half. I don’t know you situation but just wanted to let you know that some people do stay single for a long time after a break up
If they want to leave…let them go, if they want to walk out let them. You shouldn’t have to beg anybody to be with you. My husband left a year ago and NC has only made me stronger. I love myself again. It would’ve been wonderful to see the beauty on the other side of trying but even holding a family together takes two people
I have to speak to my ex due to us having a kid. She chose to rebound & all ima say is that she types on social media looking happy but during those visits with my kid that tone is depressing. Meanwhile, as I've been elevating myself & putting the focus on myself while single (I'm emotionally unavailable), I've been happier. Don't care to get her back respectfully, they chose.
Good for you bro! Keep pushing!!! I am on the same boat and i feel the same way about my ex we have 2 kids but im not emotionally there! For her, she chose to rebound too, but im a stronger person now and i dont really care anymore what she does
I got dumped just before Xmas and it was a real shock that I just never saw coming.I tried to go straight into no contact but she messages me after about 3 days telling me how sad she is and how much she misses me. We then meet up, one thing leads to another but then she finishes everything and the process starts again. Here we are 7 weeks later, I got another sad email from her last night and I’ve replied this morning telling her not to email me again. So I’m back into no contact again and the pain is just relentless…. I’m literally jealous of everyone who just gets dumped and ghosted 😂
Do second "no contact" works to? She broke up with me 4 months ago, she came back 1.5 month ago and again broke up 3 weeks ago, so im in third week of no contact, does it work as first one?
No contact has different outcomes for different people, some people will contact you 48 hours after no contact others can take as long as 3 months or more, and whether it works a second time depends on the ex and how they see you and the relationship you had
Im currently in no contact right now the hardest thing for me is going to be the fact that Valentine Day is coming up and i just dont know what i should do or say any advice. From the comment section
She breakup w/ me over text and i just said okay. Its been 4 mounth since that and i still think of her sometimes. NC atleast saved my dignitiy. Its sad how someone can just walk away from you with ease. I think we ll never see each other again.
When i got my vacation for 2 months i enjoyed very well knowing that my bf well be okay aswell but all of the sudden, when i come back all are changed he told me that he cannot be with me anymore like it was well planned, he's so cold, firm and un bothered. By then i told myself its okay to let someone go when they want to be free, i accept all of it and now after 1 month he's sending me random snap chat and trying to reach out even he want me to be friends with him, but things aren't used to be i still loved him but my mind doesn't agree so i am ignoring him on purpose to avoid any arguments.. His asshole.. 😅
My ex who dumped me after 2 years together , she needed freedom to fix herself. I begged and pleaded , then stopped, 5 days after she asked to talk while I was asleep , next day she said she was drunk and it was a mistake, I told her to block me . I went no contact , she called me a week later , spoke about her wellbeing. Then accused me of being outside her house . Went no contact for two weeks. Found a great job for her and told her. She said she had a good two weeks alone, the told me that our relationship went too far , got too intense ( after 2 years????) She told me not to call her . She’s not missing me , she’s gone forever 😢
Coach Lee, if my ex called after 6 days of no contact crying, complaining about her job and how shes messing everything up, and i consoled her for 10 mins and told her i have to go back to bed now, is that within what I am supposed to do in no contact?
My ex. Is spending almost 24 hrs a day with this new dude. It’s almost like they are married. She lives down the street from me and she found a new dude 2 weeks after breaking it off with me. He stays at her place every night and all day on the weekends. I don’t think she has a second to think about me
Sounds like he may have already been in the picture before she broke up with you. I’ve seen other people make comments about someone that does that, setting up a new relationship before leaving another one, called monkey branching or something like that.
I would like to see some videos on low-NC, I have kids with my ex. I NEVER doubted my ex-love for me, but his very messy mother was the reason for our breaking up.
You will always have a relationship. Just have smart contract. I promise he will come back. Just have fun with the kids. He will feel like he’s missing out on making memories. As a Dad I feel that…
My ex sent a heart emoji 6 months in with the last two months being 100% NC. But when i went to respond to it 4 hrs later she had deleted it… i had just regained my sanity and stopped thinking about her, but now it feels like I’ve been set back on my healing. Why would she send a heart? Thats such an aggressive breadcrumb
After a 4 year perfect relationship this girl changed like overnight after I felt the shift in her approach towards our relationship I started stalking her tiktok just to find out shes befriended so many men that became personal and when I caught her watching their lives after saying gn, she broke up with me. It's been a month now since we broke up and I just know she gon come back It's been a week since NC rule as i tried my utmost best to understand and why she done what she done. I cried, i begged, i blamed myself even though i wasnt wrong done everything i can but nothing changed yet she still told me she loves me but doesnt want to be with me claiming she needs space and time. I'm just afraid for her by the time she comes back, i ain't gon be the same. My past 2 relationship similar story they broke up with me and not long after they came begging back and i was strong enough to say not a chance I'm wasting my time again
DAs will almost definitely come back. But also almost definitely come back to breadcrumb you to get their needs met and then leave again. It's never about your feelings or needs. Be extremely cautious when they reach out to you again. Because knowing avoidants, once they leave and they will always do, your image in their minds have already been torn into a million shreds. Reparing that image is not possible unless the avoidant is self aware and is seeking help. When they come back, its not about you, it's about them getting their needs met. In other words, using you. So please protect yourself.
Broke no contact after 3weeks of not talking to each other. I asked if my ex want to catch up sometime and replied with. "I hope you’re doing well too. I’d like to catch up eventually, but for right now it’s still too early for me especially how it hasn’t even been a month since we last talked. Hope you can understand. Take care in the mean time" I want to know what is the state of mind of that person. I don't feel hurt that much. I miss my ex sometimes but I'm okay with moving on. I don't know if I should still wait to get back with him.
Heya coach. I was left by a girl who wasn't technically my girlfriend after being intensely close friends with benefits for over a year. We never made it official because I was moving away, but I knew she always wanted it and we still visited each other during the time apart. I was about to ask her to be my girlfriend but she took the wind out of my sails and told me she no longer had feelings before I had the chance, and then I was forced to tell her my feelings during that moment. Guess I just waited too long and she moved on. I know no-contact would probably be the best option for my healing, but does a situation like this call for anything different or at least modified if I want to save it? I'm afraid that the distance between us and the previous lack of commitment might make it easier for her to forget me.
I followed Lucia about not responding to insignificant texts. I ignored his reach out, and haven’t heard since. Starting to regret not saying something. I was scared to be breadcrumbed. Scared to reassure him that I’m on the shelf in case he wants me back. So I didn’t give him the validation, but now I’m thinking he is extremely sensitive to rejection and he may not try again if he thinks I’ve moved on. Idk who to listen to. But all I can do now is stay No Contact
I have so many clients who day they followed that advice and now regret it. That’s why I try to tell people not to ignore. It’s not me being a “know-it-all,” I’m just telling people what I have seen.
If it makes you feel any better, it may be an art of picking between those 2 options… Generally it’s best to respond… however, I could see if they say something totally arbitrary & meaningless, something that doesn’t beckon much of a response at all, then I possibly would not respond in a case like that. Reward your ex for good behavior (if he exhibits that) don’t reward for bad behavior (if he exhibits that)
I feel you. Was it his first reach out to you? I've felt confused and regret after I ignored my ex. However he had sporadically contacted me prior and I always responded for a year.. to no avail. Initially I broke NC a few months after the breakup to get closure (he's fearful avoidant and had doubts), he stuck to his decision. But then he did contact me a few times as well - and it was confusing because he sent me a gift- then disappeared for 4/5 months. Then called for my birthday, I still responded but was shorter as soon as I realised he was not expressing anything about the relationship/ breakup or to see me. Then after more months he deleted me from his netflix account, but didn't change the password (so I could see it, I guess it was a bait for me to chase). I ignored his birthday. Weeks later, and so it was 15 months after the breakup, that he sent more nostalgic vulnerable messages as he was visiting my country (yet it was unclear what he wanted). I was still fragile and also resentful for the many months I had been hopeful for nothing. That I decided to not respond for the first time. I also wanted to see if he would try again and express regret. He hasn't tried again. Most people told me I should not respond, that he was stringing me along, even coach Ken advised me to set a boundary. I don't know the specifics of your situation and relationship dynamic, but if part of you was scared of being put on a shelf and being breadcrumbed, trust yourself. That's how I felt too, how my ex treated me even while in the relationship, because he's an avoidant and had control over me as I wanted the relationship more and he took me for granted. He is also sensitive to rejection, but maybe that means his fears are still an obstacle to being in a relationship. Maybe the truth in you felt like what Lucia said was the right thing for you. Every relationship and breakup is different and we only know our ex. If you still have regret, you could also reach out, finding an excuse. But the problem is that you'd lose all the power doing so, and that's a big risk if he was only testing the water for selfish purposes (for ego boost, or looking for momentary reassurance).
What if they come back because they really miss you but just want to be friends, then after a few months you tell them you can’t stay friends anymore and you need time and space apart. Won’t they just respect that and never reach out because you basically told them you didn’t want them around?
Hi coach lee, your videos are helping me. Me and my ex broke up almost a month then 2 weeks of no contact but we reconnected because of our stuff and same circle of friends. We are able to talk about the break up and relationship, I made a mistake of sleeping with him almost 3 times. Then I cut it off just last day and went no contact, he wanted to be friends but I didn’t accept that. Our break up was peaceful and no drama, it is more about his problem saying that our relationship is not working out. Do I still have chance to get him back? I really need to know… thank you!
So me and my girlfriend broke up 3 days ago and it was her who called quits. She stated that she is unhappy with us and needs to change some stuff to which I reacted a bit surprised and angry. She wanted to talk but I got emotional and asked her for us to be separated for a day so that we can think this through. She did not take it well and told me that I'm being selfish, but to be honest I reacted that way because in the week before this argument we had a wonderful time with no negativity in between. We do have some issues, so now I initiated NC and had some time to think. Maybe I over reacted and got emotional because I care for her and tried my best to support her through her work and education but when I had to think about myself, she took it as a selfish act and decided to break up with me. I'm not really sure if this is common or if she is actually hiding something from me or its her that acted selfish so now I started to improve myself and if she decides to talk to me and work this through I would be happy, if not I will not contact her ever. Has anyone ever gone through something like this and do you have any advice? Thanks
Yes, in the same situation. But remember brother she is giving her time to someone else . A woman is never single. Stay strong. I am doing the same... Good luck ahead
Not sure the reasons apply to dismissive avoidants. No communication about any issues, no fights, only trivial annoyances before the discard. Think it was the overwhelming fear of commitment because we had a discussion a few months back. Also he brought things up that felt like he was angry about my successes because it highlighted his failures. I’m not going to hold myself back because a man is insecure about his lack of progress as a person and father🤷🏼♀️. No contact for over a month and I’m at the point that I realize he probably isn’t right for me. My kids are successful and healthy. He has emotionally crippled his, I tried to help but it’s not my responsibility to fix his mess.
Hey coach I’ve been following your advices since 4 months.Unfortunately I broke NC on month 1 and sent her an apology text.It’s been 3 months of NC again and she still has deactivated all her social media and blocked my phone number.She will be moving abroad in March.I know her workplace.Should I give it an attempt now? Please respond I really need help (Reason for breakup was lack of attention and time from me) We were together for nearly 4 years
Attraction dropped on my side too. But I believe in marriage so I wouldn’t leave. I feel like he put another woman first even though they were just friends. They were getting too close. He says it’s cause I accused him of an affair and made snarky comments about her. I think they are just friends but crossed some lines and got too close. I think he’s with someone new now anyway.
Same , she got too close to other guys and I even saw their conversation, its flirtatious soo I was mad , she left me eventually saying I'm too negative, after I caught her doing those things 😢 it's been 2months NC for me. I'll be reaching out soon ig
Both of you, your respective partners just wanted to leave. You'll confronting them about affair and stuff was just the trigger. The gun was already loaded. If your partners wanted to leave you'll, you'll confronting them gives them an excuse to end things quicker, cause obviously they want you to have the guilt of making them leave, they don't want to take accountability. They don't want to think back on times and feel that they were the ones who messed up things. It's so obvious. It was never you'll, it was always them.
@@MdShamim__ thank you bro , just an update , I did reach out to her , I was Casual to her but she was cold and uninterested, got ignored till the next day , we chat for a bit but she was cold , I knew it was over as she's not interested at all...I just remind her " if only if you could have been cold like this to those boys we wouldn't have broken up " , she started shifting topic saying " its not about that its about trust " , like how will I suppose to trust when she broke it and blame me for not trusting her....I eventually apologized for my flaws and she told me to move on and that she will never going to come back , I got blamed for everything man...even for catching her flirting bcuz I lose my trust after that and it's my fault for not trusting she said...sounds immature isn't it.
I was thinking it’s working but even though I accepted a break up whenever he would reach back out to me I wasn’t keeping it very light. And I can tell he still had feelings for me. I was just blunt the first time or two as it was fresh and think I left him thinking he was mad at me. But he kept reaching out. He asked to meet up a couple times. I think just because he thinks I’m mad at him and wants to make sure I’m okay. But not sure about a relationship. I regret not keeping it as light and friendly and clear I don’t care if we’re friends one way or another. But I snapped and let him know I care too much…. And I think he’s just been trying to see me because he thinks I need closure. I’ve tried to give him the break up and ignore him. But he’s trying to make an excuse to see me today by bringing my computer back to me that his friend was working on. When his friend was originally going to give it to me himself. I think the right response is to be light…. And just say it’s great to hear from him. But I think it’s too soon. I’m afraid he won’t come back
I begged for couple od days and even went to his place. He told me to.dont contact him, he will reach oit when his ready. Its his birthday tomorrow and no way i will message him. He was not happy with me because i told him im not happy he went out with a lady friend. 😢😢❤
Has anybody experienced this: Your are in a long distance relationship, on a dating site that costs a fortune to be a member of and you have to pay for texting , and he refuses to go off of this dating site to communicate on a site that you only pay for membership. And he just will not leave the site yet told me I was the love of his life, is very much in love with me etc., yet will not go off this dating site. Coach Lee, have you come across situations like this??
I actually felt like he was gonna break up with me for 2 months and now after he did. He stalks me. I didnt reply to his break up. I just already knew it was happeing. So why does he even stalk me. I blocked him from viewing my things. He also called me crazy and stupid before he broke up with me over boundaries i set 😔 . Im kinda glad it happened and i dont want him to come back at all.
2.5y relationship, 4m N.C. My ex started seeing someone 2m after we broke up, (although they aren’t official yet). Should I treat it as a rebound? How will that affect her process?
Hello. Im 16. The girl who ive been dating for 1 year and a half just broke up with me. She unfollowed me on everything and such. I did the same, not because i wanted to, but because it was probably the right thing. After we broke up we talked for a few days after. We both love eachother very much and didnt want to abandon eachother, but she thought it was hard to try to get better and move on if we keep talking. The day after she initiated no contact by simply saying "i dont think we should text anymore". I didnt fight it. Weve been broken up for 2 weeks. And no contact was initiated friday February 2nd. Just yesterday, i mailed her a letter. I didnt beg for her back. I said essentially everything I didnt get to say to get things off my chest. I was by no means emotional in an "i need you back" way. I ended the letter with basically how i was very grateful and that i love her. I was going to write a letter anyway, but after watching some of his videos, i feel like i shouldnt have so soon. She obviously doesn't have to respond. But im regreting doing this too soon.
Add on: I do genuinely feel better in feeling like I got something off my chest. But for her sake, and maybe even the possibility of us getting back together, I do believe this could have hurt her or hurt the chances we resolve things
Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this
I think that you should pause dating for a bit until you clear this out since its a fresh break up and you will bring a lot of negative energy to the person you date. Clear your head, go hit the gym or start a hobby and you will feel when the time is right to go out. Regarding her, I don't think that there is any reason to stay in touch with that person. Cheers
I dumped my ex because I felt I had no choice. He had been pushing me away for months, being really cold and even broke up with me 2 weeks before I ended it. I begged him, cried to him and almost forced him to stay. He was so mean and cold and made me wait a week before he responded to my pleads to sort things out. Then within two weeks the silly arguments started again. He gave me the silent treatment because I did not text him goodnight one night. In the end it all felt too much so I broke up with him because I felt I had no choice and almost like that is what he wanted me to do but it was not what I wanted at all. I miss him so much. But I know if I go back on my decision, I will look like a joke and he will treat me like he did when I begged him to stay. I actually don’t know what to do. Any advice would be great.
With time relationship becomes toxic had a lot of fights with my ex too ....give him some months be in no contact becz u dumped him try reach out her after months and work on ur self until then same situation but i got dumped by her of this and also her parents wont allow she said 😅😢 im doomed lol
What about not an ex but a talking stage for about a month then she wanted space ? Previously a couple years ago we met up a fee times for a few dates so we know eachother sort of but never really did anything intimate. But the connection was there during the talking
Here’s my story: she always wanted marriage and I just wasn’t ready for it, she waited 2 years, i moved out of state because of work after a month without seeing her she got mad at me and dumped me after a discussion, she’s dating dudes and I’m so angry and miss her so much I feel like I lost the one, I told her that i love her yesterday and she said I should move on, I hope I can get over this because it feels horrible or go back in time and marry her
Unfortunately for me, I happen to share a class with her. She happens to sit in front of me too. We shared a last kiss on Monday and I ended up saying something stupid that made her angry, 3 hours later I ask if we're cool and she says no, I apologize for what I did but she tells me she doesn't want to talk and to leave her alone. I've left her alone since, and there's been one instance in where we were alone and walking past each other, but she didn't look at me, only looked at the ground until she passed by. It's very confusing because a few days prior she was talking to one of my friends and asking him to be there for me and to support me. We had a good relationship I would say. I did the wrong thing and begged/pleaded for a week or so, eventually it got more and more sparce with the begging and now it stopped completely. I hope she comes back but I don't know.
Coach ive been NC for 100 days today, since the first day of the breakup. We were together 8 years, engaged with a house. She ended it in a harsh brutal manner with mistrust. We also have a 2 year old daughter together and family facilitate contact so we dont have to speak. (And keep the NC) do you have any recommendations?
I’m currently going through modified no contact with my husband we’re separated because he left, and he can see what i’m doing weekly because he comes to our home to visit our kid. So I wonder is it or will it work? we’ve been doing this for about a few weeks now. We got into a bad really bad argument which prompted him to leave. I wonder would he feel anything because he can just come to the house and see me anytime but I do only speak about business. help!😢
May I ask for an advice? I've seen a lot of Coach Lee's videos, and about two weeks ago my ex liked 4 stories of mine, replied to one joking about the subject in it and then nothing. A few days ago, out of respect to her parents(we were together for almost 3 years), I wrote to her mother, saying goodbye, since I didn't before. At the end I said something like "It's been a beautiful journey together, perhaps too short"...I am pretty sure her mother showed her this text, and now I'm afraid I might have given her some kind of reassurance? Of relief. Now she's in Sicily, in the same place where we went together last year...I hope the good memories kick in(she left me 2 months ago)
Some advice please coach Lee on my situation……. Wife of 10years, partner of 19 has checked out emotionally and she has separated from the marriage. 3 kids together 2 teenage boys and a 11yeae old girl. Hard to do no contact with kids involved any suggestions please??
Can you do more of the case that you cannot go to no contact right away when you are the one who cause the break up? I listen to coach Ken. He has 2 videos talking about it that if you went to no contact right away, ex will think that the break up is for good bc they are already in their numb state. I was really the cause of break up and took him for granted in so many ways bc of lots of life factors not bc i dont love him. Please help.
Coach Lee what if you were no contact and they tried reaching out to discuss a missed work contest and instead of using it as a chance to have light conversation i reiterated no contact and yet included the words i still love them and if they would like to talk about us please message otherwise contacting me is painful. Others give bad advice your videos i just watched say i messed up it was interest on their part and instead of talking i basically told them to go away. Also let them know i still love and want them. How do you restart this? Or can i?
She left me around Thanksgiving. Breadcrumbed me all the way to the end of January. No there's been no contact at all for almost 3 weeks. This is a special type of hell. I'm losing faith and hope. All the success stories seem to be of male dumpers coming back. I guess the reverse just doesnt happen. Hell i see the orbiters trying to make their move now that im not in the picture. I see her reconnecting with all the people that were bad for the relationship or left because of it. Plus she's a woman. She'll just pick 1 of the millions of options she has. I'll be here trying to improve, alone. And likely stay alone cause no one fills that void she left
@tena2013 same situation she said me i love u im letting u go but i dont want to go like wtf... if she truly loved u bro she will atleast reach out once have faith in god even if she didnt she surely regret leaving if u didnt cheated or physically abused her girls surely regret bro im in the same boat have faith have patienve 😊
Our relationship started in long distance..2 years long distance but we were managing to meet each other amd was having fun. Suddenly she said she had lost interest in me and broke up with me. I am in no contact 3 weeks now. Coach lee give some advice please. Should i continue with the noncontact rule? We are still in long distance like 5 hrs journey. We are a different religion. I am hindu she is christian. I know she also loves me. What should i do coach? I have lost all hope. We were in a 2 years of relationship 😢
@@debasishhuzuri9372 Pray to god, and trust his plan. If god want it to happen, it will happen. Do your part whatever in your hands and leave it to god.
We broke up, not even a week ago after three year relationship and my birthday is at the end of the month if I receive a birthday text how should I respond?
Yeah but I think you are leaving something behind when you said “attraction has fallen” on to why they brake up with you. The question is why? Most likely they were cheating, met someone else while they’re dating you. Why would you wanna go back to that?
I was once hurting over my ex-gf… I once had a heartache that I would not wish to my worst enemy. To whomever reads this, I promise things get better. Be true to yourself. Someone better will come into your life and fill that void. God is great!
This is my personal experience and it's happening now. Im offering the perspective as a dumper. Im the one who walked away. We were in no contact for 6 months and there's never a single day I didn't think about her. What Coach Lee mentioned in previous videos are all true. Fading bias effect is true as at first, it was all anger. Then as time passes, I swung to missing her and recall only the positive things about her. It was the time when I mentally let her go that I relised I truly love her.
I made contact. So now we are working on ourselves and fixing the relationship. Communication is so much better and we are seeing each other almost everyday now. It's still not a done deal but we are working on it.
So to anyone that was dumped, I can tell you there is always hope. Hang in there, be strong and level up. But also bear in mind that you're going to be ok even if they don't come back.
Wow! 6 months! Amazing response and to be honest very mature as well. Thank you for sharing.
Congratulations on doing your work on self knowledge and growth before approaching her again. Wishing the best for both of you🎉❤
Yeah. Good for you.
My GF dumped me (I failed her I admit, as I didn't give her support and didn't see when she was falling apart), but she actually met another fancy boi when we were together on holiday.
She then went to visit her family like 3 weeks after we came back from holiday. She met with him there. Then she came back home and she said it's over. I asked about her having other guy, and she bluntly refused,. She said it's her and she needs time. She start to come up with a lot of shit from our relationship. She said to our common friends that she doesn't say no to us, but she needs time.
When she was packing all her stuff sending parcels home, and selling whatever she could, new boi was already with her family, helping them to unpack the scraps she was sending.
Meanwhile she was still leaving with me, crying, cuddling and talking.
SHe finally moved out and went back home. I found later that it was all planned from our vacation and she only went for like 3 weeks to help me, but then moved with him to another country.
I also found out that she is badmouthing me. I know she has a new guy, which is seen in only superlatives, so she pant me in bad light to silence her conscience, but it's childish.
She became completely different person, but I am hoping she will realize sooner or later what she did.
I don't think we will ever be back, but man, we never had any toxic shit going on. I never abused her, I never looked for another one. I don't drink and party all the time.
Never did anything to hurt her, and she is shitting on me and my family, where I have nothing against her family.
may I ask at what point of no contact you began missing her?
@@nieczerwony sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have dodged a bullet. She cheated, which says everything you need to know about her.
When my ex left, I dreamed of having my own NC success story. I wished so badly that she would come back, and now I'm really glad she never did, because I found someone so much better in every way.
Wow. I wish my lover would come back too
Hey! its for the best. Sometimes it's just not meant to be. I have been in no contact for 4 month, long distance relationship as well. I feel there's no chance she's coming back, well she broke up with me for another guy that she claims she met him right after the breakup lol 😂 as if that's believable. I knew her for 2 years we have so many memories together. I think she's never coming back, although she broke no contact many times ! but it was only breadcrumbs. I only got a "how are you?" and she stops. I am still waiting for "i miss u" message and it's not working
@@Ahicksaf What if the person you connect with, you know is ur husband or ur soulmate
Maybe it dun workout with you guys cuz in ur gut you knew she aint was the one or did u felt it from day 1?
@diaryofseresha i felt she was the one after a one year friends with benefits relationship. Then we decided to get serious and she said she has "doubts" about me but was willing to give it time since she said she loves. We have wonderful 3 month together sex and dates and jokes and sharing our childhoods. Suddenly she travels for 2 month, sends me a breakup text saying i am not for her. And she seemed very happy about leaving me. She claimed that she showed me love because she was depressed. This girl broke me mentally, never again i will allow such a lost unfaithful selfish woman in my life again.
@@Ahicksaf When she told u straightup at start that she only wanted fwbs. That was huge red flag, why u even gotten involved with her? And when she told u she wanted something serious later on, clearly she confused infatuation/lust with love till she realized ure not the one n then left.
But for starters i would never even let no one touch me if they telling me straightup they only want fwbs. I dun believe in none of it.
Go with someone who wants something serious from day 1, otherwise ull only waste ur time
I did the unthinkable. Somehow managed to not text her on her birthday. Took control of my emotions. Its a silly thing to be proud of, but its a big step.
Dude! You are 💪🏻! Way to go! No doubt she was shocked you could stay away! Seriously, you are a badass!
That is a very big step. I’m sure that was one heck of a long day for you. Good for you be proud of yourself it sucks, but it will get better, and you deserve better. Hang in there.
Mine didnt so much as hear a peep out of me when Vday came and went 2 weeks after she dumped me. The next day I could see the anger in her face when we passed by each other in the street. The look of "how dare you not simp over me after i break your heart!" I loved the vitriol lol like a badge of honor
update? @garden6300
@@RealCoachLee I was thinking about saying Happy Birthday but after reading this, I definitely won’t.
Day 66 and he contacted me. No contact works! It’s so difficult but Thanks coach Lee! I am listening to your videos all the time which made me stronger and survived no contact. I will reply to him but will be reserved like you told us to. I will not ignore him. May be this works. Wish me luck !
Best wishes to you ❤
How did it all go? @abk4161
How did it go?
Here's the trick.... Respect yourself, and prioritize your well being.
Hello I was just scrolling through the app and I got a psychic divination about you “you are still in love with someone, who you think doesn’t love you back” I’m I Correct?
Such a horrific thing to go through
The problem is, when that person Is a commitment phobe or avoidant, anything you do that shows you want to be close to them, anything that you do that shows you feel a connection to them, anything that you do to show or share emotion will make them loose attraction for you. You don't have to do anything but show feelings for them and they're out like a light switch going off.
And then they come back, and the cycle repeats while you are busy wasting time ,getting older, and the person who can actually give you what you want is busy getting married to someone else out there...
🔥😘❤
3 months away from her. Success story. 1 month and a half NC kinda ( she dumped me) , I deleted her number, she reached out more and more as time went by, when she came to pick up her things she looked at me and asked me to $@## her. I healed so much that she was crying and I was happy all the time. She kept suffering while NC I was healing. When she reached out I kept convo short it was mainly about her stuff. She picked up her stuff but left stuff behind hahaha.
Be your own source of happiness and people will come, depend on them for happiness and they will run. Keep yourself busy doing things you love and less time with them and you will never depend on anyone emotionally to make you happy and you will not be needy.
Thanks for sharing
I’ve been watching coach lee since the separation especially during my moments of weakness and I remained true to the advice. Today I received the message of “I want us to try again”… so here I am watching coach lee again bc I’m staying true to myself this time.
Update: so I responded after thinking what exactly to say while being true to myself. I was clear and firm with him while giving him a chance to find clarity in what I had to say. I explained to him how I’m happier since I moved on, if not the happiness I ever been. Without blasting him or digging to deep in the past, I explained why I felt like this and what brought me to this point. I made it clear that I no longer what you hear from him and I’m not angry, I’m just sure on my decision. He’s been continuing to reach out wanting to me and what’s crazy is that I dreamed for this day. The day where he is begging me and I get to make him feel bad but honestly I just find it annoying lol. During nc I wanted him to kno how I felt but once I got over that jump in time, I realized he would never b what I thought we would be. Interesting enough, him treating me so bad didn’t make me get over him, it was me allowing someone else to treat me right that made me wanna let go and never look back. I was single for 4 years hoping my ex would make a grand gesture and it never happened (bc I was to available to him) so once I buckled down and got my head in the game, I met a really awesome guy and he is truly the most beautiful, amazing, kind, genuine soul I ever came across. Thank you coach lee for helping me get thru the “impossible” bc like you said, nc isn’t a formula to just get your ex back but it’s to help you get over your ex if that’s what you wanna take from it. Even though I am in a happy place, I will never for get about these videos and refer to them as needed. Thanks coach lee!
How long u went in nc till he reach out?
@@diaryofseresha 6 weeks
I was dumped, and I still miss her like crazy. However, no contact is getting easier by the week. Telling yourself things like, "As long as she's happy" goes a long way, and puts you on a moral high ground so you feel better.
Its been 4 months, and she's contacted me once. There has also been chatter about me from her friends. And I was randomly invited to a party by one of her good guy friends.
So I'm not convinced she's completely moved on, however I have to convince myself that she has so I don't give myself false hope.
I hope she's happy.
You are precious, May your wish come true ❤
Hugs 🫂
Day 19 NC and i almost feel myself disconnecting from her and now viewing the relationship through the lens of the past. It feels weird and terrifying but also somewhat comforting that I know i will be able to move on no matter what. If she comes back, great, but I may not want her by the time that happens
I did No contact, 2yrs went by, and I’m finally over her. Im back in my solo mind frame, And I’m going to just fly solo. Trust me you don’t want to get back with your x, once that magic is gone, it never comes back. Just be happy being single 👍🏻
Fly high brother 🎉
came back after 10 months and the magic was back. we traveled the world and got engaged
I’m 2 years strong 💪🏽 guess no contact doesn’t work🤷🏽♂️ once a person decides to move on it’s because they no longer want you. Your purpose has already been served and in their minds they are looking for what you don’t have… and that is a different experience that makes them feel limerence. A spark that they had with you before but it wore out. People like this typically are serial daters. So if a person walks away from you and does not reach out within a few weeks/ months. They won’t regardless if you are using no contact. In fact they will have permanent relief because there’s no reason to explain themselves.
Thanks Bud. Only 2 weeks in. She made contact. 1 more week. Another contact. I’m playing it cool. I’m getting stronger.
keep going king
My ex thought that I'd accept friendship after the breakup. I pulled that rug right out from under him a month later. It felt good to put my foot down and tell him that friendship isn't enough for me.
We were friends before the relationship, so in his head going back to being friends probably made sense-but I realized that friendship isn't going to work for me.
I did the same. Nice to see someone in the same situation.
Mine asked if we could stay friends, I refused and only said “no”. She got really upset and got out of my car after that without saying anything else.
I know my worth and I will never accept to be downgraded to a friend
I told him that maybe someday we can be friends, but for now, friendship wasn't going to work. Not sure if I messed up in that respect, but when I do get over him if we don't get back together, if our paths ever cross, I would be open to friendship. I also wanted to convey that he can still approach me if he wants to talk, just not as friends.
I checked a lot of videos about the subject and there seems to be some mixed signals if you should stay friends with an ex (to still have a chance) or not. But I will believe in the basics of psychology , that Lee is also very clear with - to get the best chance, they need to FEEL the loss - esp if you don't want them to leave you again and again - and they can't feel the loss if you are in a "comfortable" zone for them where you are still in their life. I try to comfort myself a lot with that. @@duan_meixuan And as @GANZOP also pointed out - knowing your worth is essential (and attractive!)
The guy sounds selfish. He doesn’t want to have you (as a lover) but have you (as a friend).
I’ve followed Coach Lee for some years now and have been on both sides of a breakups in my life, he is super spot on everything he says.
Ironically, when in no contact, the dumper realizes their feelings (or not) and the dumpee usually moves on. I still love and care about her, but at this point, I can’t see her being with me forever. At one point I did. But after she broke my heart a 2nd time and has said she thinks we should move on 4 times, I’m finally understanding.
Hey coach we need some more videos on rebounds and situations.
1) Relief vs Consequences
2) Longing vs Irritated
3) Chaos vs Control
4) Pursuit vs Defensiveness
5) Emotional vs Rational
I am (unfortunately) just starting to go through a big heart break. I am trying to be no contact, but I feel like an addict suffering withdrawals. I want to believe that he will eventually want me, but my pessimistic side thinks he will be married to someone else before the year is up. 😔
May Allah make it easy for you ❤
@GoodKnightChess He hasn't shown any interest in me since. I am at least not as broken as I was when it first happened. I'm still sad that it seems less and less likely he will ever want me again, becausewe meshed so well together in every way. 😟
One week into NC after breaking up about 2 weeks ago, these vids help alot. Thank you Coach Lee for keeping it as positive as possible and being so in touch with this topic, so many other 'coaches' spin so much of these same topics in such a negative light and your understanding and eloquence regarding these feelings and situations is a genuine help.
So glad i found this channel, it really does make the hardest moments a little more bearable.
Thank you, Brokencross, for such a kind comment. I appreciate so much you watching and I hope to continue to provide topics you want to learn about
I am am exactly 5 months today..You can do it..
5 months or break up and 3 months of complete NC. I have healed. It doesn't hurt me anymore, tho he crosses my mind time to time. I am better now.
My ex and I dated for about two years, broke up once after he told me he was on tinder “to talk to bots”. Aside from that, there were quite a few other issues but mainly we just aren’t compatible enough. Somehow, we never got back together officially, but basically acted like we were still dating when we weren’t official for the next few years. We were going along as normal but decided to pull the rug out from under me and tell me he’s seeing someone (weeks after the fact). I sent about two messages before I went silent. I don’t want to get back together, but these videos help ease the pain of “why isn’t he reaching out, is he better off, is he relieved without me”. He’s always had significant dating trouble. These videos help give me the right perspective and these days (about a month later) I’ve started to forget about him.
You are absolutely correct. You hit it right on the nail, that's exactly what I went through. Gosh Coach Lee you're awesome👌 ❤Thank you for helping me understand my situation. It's going on 3 months for our break up w no contact and he just called me the other day, unfortunately it was for something in the nature of that he needed my advice because I had a good understanding on his situation he decided to call me. He didn't ask how I was doing and I didn't ask how he was doing we kept it simple and we hung up. And I don't think that I even care for us to get back together anymore. I'm beginning to see how I accepted all his flaws and seeing him only for the qualities I liked in him. I guess I loved him unconditionally but seeing how he handled my mistake and broke up, I've lost a lot of that love. Thank you again❣
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Really? How do i find one please?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
It will get easier, I got dumped 9 months ago and I didn't think I'd ever get over that person, I made all the mistakes like begging and leaving the door open. If they left you then it's not up to you to fix what they broke. Leave them to it. Since I have been completely ghost the energy has shifted completely. Too late
I learned a long time ago the only person you can control is yourself. Going NC can only bring bigger and better things if we allow it by taking care of ourselves. If you didn’t do anything abusive or cheated, then reconsider getting back with someone who has such little commitment to a relationship unless they are willing to show that they’ll work on changing.
I’m on day two of being dumped. I’m sticking to this! Thanks coach Lee
Just insanely difficult to take the all this pain after my recent breakup ,to a point I see myself even mentally affected ....as a mature individual I'm doing everything I can to hold on in this No contact period...only two weeks after our separation I'm depositing all of my hopes on Coach Lee .. hopefully months from now I'll be laughing about it.
May Allah heal you 🤍
Insha'Allah @@MdShamim__
Update?
@@ISABEL_OF42 Hi Isabel ...I'm feeling great now .and also glad of the learning experience that almost kill me .Thank you for asking.
I haven't been around but I like to briefly reflect when you pop up on suggested videos. You've helped me get through some tough times Coach and I appreciate you for that. No contact is the way to go and I am 100% thankful for taking that route. I have some amazing relationships with some amazing people because I didn't blow up and act foolish in an emotional time. After working on yourself and time passes, it is an amazing experience running into them and all the negativity is gone.
We decided to give each other space because of the international long distance. We still like each other but the situation will not change for at least 3 years. We are still students, no money no time no future. I just miss him more than anything. Can’t stop crying.
I have so much of respect for you Coach ! Such eloquence. You speak with such confidence and clarity and ever since my break up, I have binge watched your videos to gain a lot of clarity and perspective. I am in a much better space today. Like you have advised, each time I get into the "What, Why and How" cycle - I use the statement "If my ex is willing to leave all the crap and get back, I am open to consider" and after stating that to myself internally, I move on! 😊
My sincere and profound thanks to you and am sending you much much love and blessings! ❤
My wife broke up with me 2 months ago. It was totally unexpected. I would dearly love to send this video to her but I’m in the first month of No Contact, so I can’t. Great video coach.
John, I suggest you get my free mini-course on saving a marriage at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/
I went no contact for 2 months and I got my ex back but the relationship isn't the same... Really Really consider that you might not really want your ex back! You might just want to leave them on your terms, not theirs.😳
In what way is it different now? For instance?
Thank you for the Education Coach !!!! You deliver like nobody else can !!!!
Absolutely a brilliant video. Coach Lee you always hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much I appreciate your logical advice .
Went no contact.
She reached out and asked to do a favour for her.
I Ignored and she blocked me on social media :)
So so true . It happened with me . He did all that you said.
Coach Lee is awesome and so is his friend coach Ken
Thanks for your honest points. They really have helped me put things into perspective.
Coach Lee you are just awesome. You explain everything in such an easy and logic way.
No contact for a year. I blocked her on everything I never want to see her again or talk to her. I’m still sad about it. I’ll get over it tho
Update?
Everything was spot on until step 4, I went no contact immediately after step 3. That was our last chance.
Thank you@Coach Lee. After 9 months of no contact,she contacted me to check on me I was diplomatic in my response. After some few days she contacted again to seek for help which I did gave her.
She called the following day to apologized I accept the apology and she started contacting for a come back. She told me she didn't get into any relationship but I'm finding it difficult to believe.
I gave her the chance but I don't want to lose the power again. What should I do pls? No contact truly works.
You gave me hope 😊😊😊
If u don’t trust her .. then don’t take her back … else you will always doubt her and eventually it will lead to nasty break up ….
@@Rocky76549 we are back and I'm seeing the efforts she's putting in to make it work. I don't want to lose the power as I did in the past.
Spiritually uplift yourself. In that way, you will always have the power with you, no one can have an upper hand over you. If you are interested I can suggest you few things
@@skincarerainbow4950 ok.let hear it then. We still learning
When I broke up with gf I had a few years ago I did not get into any other relationship for a year and a half. I don’t know you situation but just wanted to let you know that some people do stay single for a long time after a break up
If they want to leave…let them go, if they want to walk out let them. You shouldn’t have to beg anybody to be with you. My husband left a year ago and NC has only made me stronger. I love myself again. It would’ve been wonderful to see the beauty on the other side of trying but even holding a family together takes two people
I have to speak to my ex due to us having a kid. She chose to rebound & all ima say is that she types on social media looking happy but during those visits with my kid that tone is depressing. Meanwhile, as I've been elevating myself & putting the focus on myself while single (I'm emotionally unavailable), I've been happier. Don't care to get her back respectfully, they chose.
Good for you bro! Keep pushing!!! I am on the same boat and i feel the same way about my ex we have 2 kids but im not emotionally there! For her, she chose to rebound too, but im a stronger person now and i dont really care anymore what she does
Im really sorry to hear that bro.
@jmoo72 Exactly bro, the door was opened & now its closed.
I got dumped just before Xmas and it was a real shock that I just never saw coming.I tried to go straight into no contact but she messages me after about 3 days telling me how sad she is and how much she misses me.
We then meet up, one thing leads to another but then she finishes everything and the process starts again.
Here we are 7 weeks later, I got another sad email from her last night and I’ve replied this morning telling her not to email me again.
So I’m back into no contact again and the pain is just relentless…. I’m literally jealous of everyone who just gets dumped and ghosted 😂
Don't let her use you as a escape goat, be better and ignore her, you will feel better with time, fly high and solo brother
What process started again?
it was a 3 year long breakup process, not a relationship. hot and cold. 0 effort. devaluation. final discard.
Do second "no contact" works to? She broke up with me 4 months ago, she came back 1.5 month ago and again broke up 3 weeks ago, so im in third week of no contact, does it work as first one?
no.
No contact has different outcomes for different people, some people will contact you 48 hours after no contact others can take as long as 3 months or more, and whether it works a second time depends on the ex and how they see you and the relationship you had
Im currently in no contact right now the hardest thing for me is going to be the fact that Valentine Day is coming up and i just dont know what i should do or say any advice. From the comment section
She breakup w/ me over text and i just said okay. Its been 4 mounth since that and i still think of her sometimes. NC atleast saved my dignitiy. Its sad how someone can just walk away from you with ease. I think we ll never see each other again.
When i got my vacation for 2 months i enjoyed very well knowing that my bf well be okay aswell but all of the sudden, when i come back all are changed he told me that he cannot be with me anymore like it was well planned, he's so cold, firm and un bothered. By then i told myself its okay to let someone go when they want to be free, i accept all of it and now after 1 month he's sending me random snap chat and trying to reach out even he want me to be friends with him, but things aren't used to be i still loved him but my mind doesn't agree so i am ignoring him on purpose to avoid any arguments.. His asshole.. 😅
My ex who dumped me after 2 years together , she needed freedom to fix herself.
I begged and pleaded , then stopped, 5 days after she asked to talk while I was asleep , next day she said she was drunk and it was a mistake, I told her to block me . I went no contact , she called me a week later , spoke about her wellbeing. Then accused me of being outside her house .
Went no contact for two weeks. Found a great job for her and told her. She said she had a good two weeks alone, the told me that our relationship went too far , got too intense ( after 2 years????)
She told me not to call her .
She’s not missing me , she’s gone forever 😢
Give it time coach said 3-5 weeks they begin to feel something. Just wait and let them reach out again.
@@gsdkid182 they never come back
An ex would call every birthday and holiday. He shows up at my mom’s funeral I was mortified.
Coach Lee, if my ex called after 6 days of no contact crying, complaining about her job and how shes messing everything up, and i consoled her for 10 mins and told her i have to go back to bed now, is that within what I am supposed to do in no contact?
My ex. Is spending almost 24 hrs a day with this new dude. It’s almost like they are married. She lives down the street from me and she found a new dude 2 weeks after breaking it off with me. He stays at her place every night and all day on the weekends. I don’t think she has a second to think about me
Sounds like he may have already been in the picture before she broke up with you. I’ve seen other people make comments about someone that does that, setting up a new relationship before leaving another one, called monkey branching or something like that.
I would like to see some videos on low-NC, I have kids with my ex. I NEVER doubted my ex-love for me, but his very messy mother was the reason for our breaking up.
You will always have a relationship. Just have smart contract. I promise he will come back. Just have fun with the kids. He will feel like he’s missing out on making memories. As a Dad I feel that…
My ex sent a heart emoji 6 months in with the last two months being 100% NC.
But when i went to respond to it 4 hrs later she had deleted it… i had just regained my sanity and stopped thinking about her, but now it feels like I’ve been set back on my healing. Why would she send a heart? Thats such an aggressive breadcrumb
It is an aggressive breadcrumb. Don’t do anything. Let her come to you.
Yes sir🫡
After a 4 year perfect relationship this girl changed like overnight after I felt the shift in her approach towards our relationship I started stalking her tiktok just to find out shes befriended so many men that became personal and when I caught her watching their lives after saying gn, she broke up with me. It's been a month now since we broke up and I just know she gon come back It's been a week since NC rule as i tried my utmost best to understand and why she done what she done. I cried, i begged, i blamed myself even though i wasnt wrong done everything i can but nothing changed yet she still told me she loves me but doesnt want to be with me claiming she needs space and time. I'm just afraid for her by the time she comes back, i ain't gon be the same. My past 2 relationship similar story they broke up with me and not long after they came begging back and i was strong enough to say not a chance I'm wasting my time again
Coach Lee - have you ever tackled a video about NC with a Dismissive Avoidant?
DAs will almost definitely come back. But also almost definitely come back to breadcrumb you to get their needs met and then leave again. It's never about your feelings or needs. Be extremely cautious when they reach out to you again. Because knowing avoidants, once they leave and they will always do, your image in their minds have already been torn into a million shreds. Reparing that image is not possible unless the avoidant is self aware and is seeking help. When they come back, its not about you, it's about them getting their needs met. In other words, using you. So please protect yourself.
Broke no contact after 3weeks of not talking to each other. I asked if my ex want to catch up sometime and replied with. "I hope you’re doing well too. I’d like to catch up eventually, but for right now it’s still too early for me especially how it hasn’t even been a month since we last talked. Hope you can understand. Take care in the mean time"
I want to know what is the state of mind of that person. I don't feel hurt that much. I miss my ex sometimes but I'm okay with moving on. I don't know if I should still wait to get back with him.
You shouldn’t have contacted them. They should gravel on their knees to take you back cause they’re the ones who hurt you!
@@migzm14 it's been over a month since NC. I hope to get over it with time.
@@shikhapriyankah I pray for you. Been in a break last month been 1 month of NC. We can do this! With or without them!!
Who said he hurt her? @@migzm14
Heya coach. I was left by a girl who wasn't technically my girlfriend after being intensely close friends with benefits for over a year. We never made it official because I was moving away, but I knew she always wanted it and we still visited each other during the time apart. I was about to ask her to be my girlfriend but she took the wind out of my sails and told me she no longer had feelings before I had the chance, and then I was forced to tell her my feelings during that moment. Guess I just waited too long and she moved on. I know no-contact would probably be the best option for my healing, but does a situation like this call for anything different or at least modified if I want to save it? I'm afraid that the distance between us and the previous lack of commitment might make it easier for her to forget me.
My ex has text me “happy valentines x” after over a year of the BU. Do I reply
I followed Lucia about not responding to insignificant texts. I ignored his reach out, and haven’t heard since. Starting to regret not saying something. I was scared to be breadcrumbed. Scared to reassure him that I’m on the shelf in case he wants me back. So I didn’t give him the validation, but now I’m thinking he is extremely sensitive to rejection and he may not try again if he thinks I’ve moved on. Idk who to listen to. But all I can do now is stay No Contact
I have so many clients who day they followed that advice and now regret it. That’s why I try to tell people not to ignore. It’s not me being a “know-it-all,” I’m just telling people what I have seen.
@@RealCoachLee Understood.
If it makes you feel any better, it may be an art of picking between those 2 options… Generally it’s best to respond… however, I could see if they say something totally arbitrary & meaningless, something that doesn’t beckon much of a response at all, then I possibly would not respond in a case like that. Reward your ex for good behavior (if he exhibits that) don’t reward for bad behavior (if he exhibits that)
@@Cometcast12
Thank you for your insight
I feel you. Was it his first reach out to you? I've felt confused and regret after I ignored my ex. However he had sporadically contacted me prior and I always responded for a year.. to no avail. Initially I broke NC a few months after the breakup to get closure (he's fearful avoidant and had doubts), he stuck to his decision. But then he did contact me a few times as well - and it was confusing because he sent me a gift- then disappeared for 4/5 months. Then called for my birthday, I still responded but was shorter as soon as I realised he was not expressing anything about the relationship/ breakup or to see me. Then after more months he deleted me from his netflix account, but didn't change the password (so I could see it, I guess it was a bait for me to chase). I ignored his birthday. Weeks later, and so it was 15 months after the breakup, that he sent more nostalgic vulnerable messages as he was visiting my country (yet it was unclear what he wanted). I was still fragile and also resentful for the many months I had been hopeful for nothing. That I decided to not respond for the first time. I also wanted to see if he would try again and express regret. He hasn't tried again. Most people told me I should not respond, that he was stringing me along, even coach Ken advised me to set a boundary.
I don't know the specifics of your situation and relationship dynamic, but if part of you was scared of being put on a shelf and being breadcrumbed, trust yourself. That's how I felt too, how my ex treated me even while in the relationship, because he's an avoidant and had control over me as I wanted the relationship more and he took me for granted. He is also sensitive to rejection, but maybe that means his fears are still an obstacle to being in a relationship. Maybe the truth in you felt like what Lucia said was the right thing for you. Every relationship and breakup is different and we only know our ex.
If you still have regret, you could also reach out, finding an excuse. But the problem is that you'd lose all the power doing so, and that's a big risk if he was only testing the water for selfish purposes (for ego boost, or looking for momentary reassurance).
Hey coach can you do a video on how no contact works on a narcissist?
What if they come back because they really miss you but just want to be friends, then after a few months you tell them you can’t stay friends anymore and you need time and space apart. Won’t they just respect that and never reach out because you basically told them you didn’t want them around?
Glad to see another video. I hope all is well coach. Thank you for all you do
Thank you Coach Lee! Great video premiere!!
Hi coach lee, your videos are helping me. Me and my ex broke up almost a month then 2 weeks of no contact but we reconnected because of our stuff and same circle of friends. We are able to talk about the break up and relationship, I made a mistake of sleeping with him almost 3 times. Then I cut it off just last day and went no contact, he wanted to be friends but I didn’t accept that. Our break up was peaceful and no drama, it is more about his problem saying that our relationship is not working out. Do I still have chance to get him back? I really need to know… thank you!
So me and my girlfriend broke up 3 days ago and it was her who called quits. She stated that she is unhappy with us and needs to change some stuff to which I reacted a bit surprised and angry. She wanted to talk but I got emotional and asked her for us to be separated for a day so that we can think this through. She did not take it well and told me that I'm being selfish, but to be honest I reacted that way because in the week before this argument we had a wonderful time with no negativity in between. We do have some issues, so now I initiated NC and had some time to think.
Maybe I over reacted and got emotional because I care for her and tried my best to support her through her work and education but when I had to think about myself, she took it as a selfish act and decided to break up with me. I'm not really sure if this is common or if she is actually hiding something from me or its her that acted selfish so now I started to improve myself and if she decides to talk to me and work this through I would be happy, if not I will not contact her ever. Has anyone ever gone through something like this and do you have any advice?
Thanks
Yes, in the same situation.
But remember brother she is giving her time to someone else . A woman is never single. Stay strong. I am doing the same... Good luck ahead
Not sure the reasons apply to dismissive avoidants. No communication about any issues, no fights, only trivial annoyances before the discard. Think it was the overwhelming fear of commitment because we had a discussion a few months back. Also he brought things up that felt like he was angry about my successes because it highlighted his failures. I’m not going to hold myself back because a man is insecure about his lack of progress as a person and father🤷🏼♀️. No contact for over a month and I’m at the point that I realize he probably isn’t right for me. My kids are successful and healthy. He has emotionally crippled his, I tried to help but it’s not my responsibility to fix his mess.
Why do we have to go through a break up with someone that we love and loves us back immensely? Why do they just give up and don’t want to fight?
Excellent question. A lot of it is FOMO (fear of missing out) and that people overcomplicate relationships nowdays.
Hey coach
I’ve been following your advices since 4 months.Unfortunately I broke NC on month 1 and sent her an apology text.It’s been 3 months of NC again and she still has deactivated all her social media and blocked my phone number.She will be moving abroad in March.I know her workplace.Should I give it an attempt now?
Please respond I really need help
(Reason for breakup was lack of attention and time from me)
We were together for nearly 4 years
Attraction dropped on my side too. But I believe in marriage so I wouldn’t leave. I feel like he put another woman first even though they were just friends. They were getting too close. He says it’s cause I accused him of an affair and made snarky comments about her. I think they are just friends but crossed some lines and got too close.
I think he’s with someone new now anyway.
Same , she got too close to other guys and I even saw their conversation, its flirtatious soo I was mad , she left me eventually saying I'm too negative, after I caught her doing those things 😢 it's been 2months NC for me. I'll be reaching out soon ig
Both of you, your respective partners just wanted to leave. You'll confronting them about affair and stuff was just the trigger. The gun was already loaded. If your partners wanted to leave you'll, you'll confronting them gives them an excuse to end things quicker, cause obviously they want you to have the guilt of making them leave, they don't want to take accountability. They don't want to think back on times and feel that they were the ones who messed up things. It's so obvious. It was never you'll, it was always them.
@@doubleJJ01you deserve better brother
@@MdShamim__ thank you bro , just an update , I did reach out to her , I was Casual to her but she was cold and uninterested, got ignored till the next day , we chat for a bit but she was cold , I knew it was over as she's not interested at all...I just remind her " if only if you could have been cold like this to those boys we wouldn't have broken up " , she started shifting topic saying " its not about that its about trust " , like how will I suppose to trust when she broke it and blame me for not trusting her....I eventually apologized for my flaws and she told me to move on and that she will never going to come back , I got blamed for everything man...even for catching her flirting bcuz I lose my trust after that and it's my fault for not trusting she said...sounds immature isn't it.
I was thinking it’s working but even though I accepted a break up whenever he would reach back out to me I wasn’t keeping it very light. And I can tell he still had feelings for me. I was just blunt the first time or two as it was fresh and think I left him thinking he was mad at me. But he kept reaching out. He asked to meet up a couple times. I think just because he thinks I’m mad at him and wants to make sure I’m okay. But not sure about a relationship. I regret not keeping it as light and friendly and clear I don’t care if we’re friends one way or another. But I snapped and let him know I care too much…. And I think he’s just been trying to see me because he thinks I need closure. I’ve tried to give him the break up and ignore him. But he’s trying to make an excuse to see me today by bringing my computer back to me that his friend was working on. When his friend was originally going to give it to me himself. I think the right response is to be light…. And just say it’s great to hear from him. But I think it’s too soon. I’m afraid he won’t come back
I begged for couple od days and even went to his place. He told me to.dont contact him, he will reach oit when his ready. Its his birthday tomorrow and no way i will message him. He was not happy with me because i told him im not happy he went out with a lady friend. 😢😢❤
Has anybody experienced this: Your are in a long distance relationship, on a dating site that costs a fortune to be a member of and you have to pay for texting , and he refuses to go off of this dating site to communicate on a site that you only pay for membership. And he just will not leave the site yet told me I was the love of his life, is very much in love with me etc., yet will not go off this dating site. Coach Lee, have you come across situations like this??
I actually felt like he was gonna break up with me for 2 months and now after he did. He stalks me. I didnt reply to his break up. I just already knew it was happeing. So why does he even stalk me. I blocked him from viewing my things. He also called me crazy and stupid before he broke up with me over boundaries i set 😔 . Im kinda glad it happened and i dont want him to come back at all.
2.5y relationship, 4m N.C. My ex started seeing someone 2m after we broke up, (although they aren’t official yet). Should I treat it as a rebound? How will that affect her process?
It’s rebound …no doubt … and I bet it won’t long … till then hold on … and work on urself … Peace ✌️
No contact, no going back ever.
Hello. Im 16. The girl who ive been dating for 1 year and a half just broke up with me. She unfollowed me on everything and such. I did the same, not because i wanted to, but because it was probably the right thing. After we broke up we talked for a few days after. We both love eachother very much and didnt want to abandon eachother, but she thought it was hard to try to get better and move on if we keep talking. The day after she initiated no contact by simply saying "i dont think we should text anymore". I didnt fight it. Weve been broken up for 2 weeks. And no contact was initiated friday February 2nd. Just yesterday, i mailed her a letter. I didnt beg for her back. I said essentially everything I didnt get to say to get things off my chest. I was by no means emotional in an "i need you back" way. I ended the letter with basically how i was very grateful and that i love her. I was going to write a letter anyway, but after watching some of his videos, i feel like i shouldnt have so soon. She obviously doesn't have to respond. But im regreting doing this too soon.
Add on: I do genuinely feel better in feeling like I got something off my chest. But for her sake, and maybe even the possibility of us getting back together, I do believe this could have hurt her or hurt the chances we resolve things
@@ViraxlClipzlit bit same story but in my case her parents wont allow us to marry due to cultural barriers and caste 😢
Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this
I think that you should pause dating for a bit until you clear this out since its a fresh break up and you will bring a lot of negative energy to the person you date. Clear your head, go hit the gym or start a hobby and you will feel when the time is right to go out. Regarding her, I don't think that there is any reason to stay in touch with that person. Cheers
@@ElPadremio I don't talk to her at all I've been in NC since day 1
I dumped my ex because I felt I had no choice. He had been pushing me away for months, being really cold and even broke up with me 2 weeks before I ended it. I begged him, cried to him and almost forced him to stay. He was so mean and cold and made me wait a week before he responded to my pleads to sort things out. Then within two weeks the silly arguments started again. He gave me the silent treatment because I did not text him goodnight one night. In the end it all felt too much so I broke up with him because I felt I had no choice and almost like that is what he wanted me to do but it was not what I wanted at all. I miss him so much. But I know if I go back on my decision, I will look like a joke and he will treat me like he did when I begged him to stay. I actually don’t know what to do. Any advice would be great.
With time relationship becomes toxic had a lot of fights with my ex too ....give him some months be in no contact becz u dumped him try reach out her after months and work on ur self until then same situation but i got dumped by her of this and also her parents wont allow she said 😅😢 im doomed lol
What about not an ex but a talking stage for about a month then she wanted space ? Previously a couple years ago we met up a fee times for a few dates so we know eachother sort of but never really did anything intimate. But the connection was there during the talking
Here’s my story: she always wanted marriage and I just wasn’t ready for it, she waited 2 years, i moved out of state because of work after a month without seeing her she got mad at me and dumped me after a discussion, she’s dating dudes and I’m so angry and miss her so much I feel like I lost the one, I told her that i love her yesterday and she said I should move on, I hope I can get over this because it feels horrible or go back in time and marry her
Unfortunately for me, I happen to share a class with her. She happens to sit in front of me too. We shared a last kiss on Monday and I ended up saying something stupid that made her angry, 3 hours later I ask if we're cool and she says no, I apologize for what I did but she tells me she doesn't want to talk and to leave her alone. I've left her alone since, and there's been one instance in where we were alone and walking past each other, but she didn't look at me, only looked at the ground until she passed by. It's very confusing because a few days prior she was talking to one of my friends and asking him to be there for me and to support me. We had a good relationship I would say. I did the wrong thing and begged/pleaded for a week or so, eventually it got more and more sparce with the begging and now it stopped completely. I hope she comes back but I don't know.
What's the thing you said that made her angry?
Coach ive been NC for 100 days today, since the first day of the breakup. We were together 8 years, engaged with a house.
She ended it in a harsh brutal manner with mistrust.
We also have a 2 year old daughter together and family facilitate contact so we dont have to speak. (And keep the NC) do you have any recommendations?
Just better yourself to the MAX
I promise later down the road you will be invited to parties and school activities. Just glow bro
Can you make a video about.. if you already have begged and did all the things you shouldnt do. And then what next
Why would they act one way say things about future but seem scared to move forward?
I’m currently going through modified no contact with my husband we’re separated because he left, and he can see what i’m doing weekly because he comes to our home to visit our kid. So I wonder is it or will it work? we’ve been doing this for about a few weeks now. We got into a bad really bad argument which prompted him to leave. I wonder would he feel anything because he can just come to the house and see me anytime but I do only speak about business. help!😢
I’m trying to book a consultation with you but cannot find how to .can you assist me with this please ? ❤
You just go here: myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
May I ask for an advice? I've seen a lot of Coach Lee's videos, and about two weeks ago my ex liked 4 stories of mine, replied to one joking about the subject in it and then nothing. A few days ago, out of respect to her parents(we were together for almost 3 years), I wrote to her mother, saying goodbye, since I didn't before. At the end I said something like "It's been a beautiful journey together, perhaps too short"...I am pretty sure her mother showed her this text, and now I'm afraid I might have given her some kind of reassurance? Of relief. Now she's in Sicily, in the same place where we went together last year...I hope the good memories kick in(she left me 2 months ago)
Any luck?
@@TheIronman1508 nah bro, she doesn't care anymore
@@apocalypse1180 Stay no contact bro, no matter what i am going through the same shit, i am on day 18.
Some advice please coach Lee on my situation……. Wife of 10years, partner of 19 has checked out emotionally and she has separated from the marriage. 3 kids together 2 teenage boys and a 11yeae old girl. Hard to do no contact with kids involved any suggestions please??
Can you do more of the case that you cannot go to no contact right away when you are the one who cause the break up? I listen to coach Ken. He has 2 videos talking about it that if you went to no contact right away, ex will think that the break up is for good bc they are already in their numb state. I was really the cause of break up and took him for granted in so many ways bc of lots of life factors not bc i dont love him. Please help.
Coach Lee what if you were no contact and they tried reaching out to discuss a missed work contest and instead of using it as a chance to have light conversation i reiterated no contact and yet included the words i still love them and if they would like to talk about us please message otherwise contacting me is painful. Others give bad advice your videos i just watched say i messed up it was interest on their part and instead of talking i basically told them to go away. Also let them know i still love and want them. How do you restart this? Or can i?
She left me around Thanksgiving. Breadcrumbed me all the way to the end of January. No there's been no contact at all for almost 3 weeks. This is a special type of hell. I'm losing faith and hope. All the success stories seem to be of male dumpers coming back. I guess the reverse just doesnt happen. Hell i see the orbiters trying to make their move now that im not in the picture. I see her reconnecting with all the people that were bad for the relationship or left because of it. Plus she's a woman. She'll just pick 1 of the millions of options she has. I'll be here trying to improve, alone. And likely stay alone cause no one fills that void she left
@tena2013 same situation she said me i love u im letting u go but i dont want to go like wtf... if she truly loved u bro she will atleast reach out once have faith in god even if she didnt she surely regret leaving if u didnt cheated or physically abused her girls surely regret bro im in the same boat have faith have patienve 😊
Our relationship started in long distance..2 years long distance but we were managing to meet each other amd was having fun. Suddenly she said she had lost interest in me and broke up with me. I am in no contact 3 weeks now. Coach lee give some advice please. Should i continue with the noncontact rule? We are still in long distance like 5 hrs journey. We are a different religion. I am hindu she is christian. I know she also loves me. What should i do coach? I have lost all hope. We were in a 2 years of relationship 😢
I can relate to this, this different religion issue hits differently.
@MdShamim__ did she come back to you?
@@debasishhuzuri9372 Pray to god, and trust his plan. If god want it to happen, it will happen. Do your part whatever in your hands and leave it to god.
I need a video on have a kid with my ex. How to get her back with a child
We broke up, not even a week ago after three year relationship and my birthday is at the end of the month if I receive a birthday text how should I respond?
Yeah but I think you are leaving something behind when you said “attraction has fallen” on to why they brake up with you. The question is why? Most likely they were cheating, met someone else while they’re dating you. Why would you wanna go back to that?