I feel nothing, but my body expresses my emotions for me. It’s automatic, like a robot. I actually started trying to stop showing my “emotions” so that it would be easier for my family to understand, and so I wouldn’t be deceiving anyone. I’ve stopped saying, “I love you” because it feels like a lie.. Thank you for making this.
@@faisalbi1330 I’m alright. My family still doesn’t understand but it’s alright. As long as they know what I’ve said. I’ve come to suspect that my Alexithymia might stem from ADHD, but my parents didn’t want to get my Alexithymia diagnosed, so I won’t even ask about that. I’ll just check myself in for an assessment when I turn 18.
I just wish my parents would have taken me to therapy as a kid I think my life would have turned out so much better. Now I'm 17 and thankfully I can feel but I'm still pretty numb and I'm very expressionless and lonely. I just feel numb and when I'm around people I just feel like there is a part of my soul that is missing.
Hi, I hope you don't mind my short note for you. I feel for you, really, I also feel like do not have words for expressing what I feel inside. And the harder I try to pick up the words, the feelings and emotions fade. And I stay totally empty... Then I found out that it's easier for me to write than to speak, and as a teenager I often wrote letters to my best friend. Reading good books with long and picturesque description of nature, people, buildings, ect. also helped me enrich my vocabulary. I tried to remember the expressions, play of words and invented my own, it was like a game. Maybe you will find some of my tips useful for you, and I'm sorry for the uninvited advice here.
What do you suppose you could have done in therapy to make things different for you now? I'm jusy really curious about what you think about therapy and what it is that you know about it that you feel could help you. You're only 17 and I don't think there's a time limit on when/where you can overcome something. It will always require effort, but with effort, comes great reward.
Read the Bible from the book of John and Jesus Christ will fill that void and loneliness. That void was created in you by him to only be filled by him. Then when you place him in your life, he will help you with that emptiness.
I witnessed a man get hit by a car in front of a market. I went inside to notify the people and call for help. They didn't believe me, they had to go out and see for themselves, wasting time. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.
Very relatable, It seems like my emotions are separate from me and I don’t feel them until the emotions become overwhelming so I have to identify my emotions by paying attention to my body
Dear Ksana: Your Personality is a very valueble Gift. You have the Ability, to see Things as They are without any emotional connection behind it! The overemotional World needs People Like you, to evolve and come to Terms with. Never forget that. 😊👍
I've had this problem my whole life, too, and I'm 47. In fact, when I was a kid, I was one of those kids who would cry whenever a room full of people sang "Happy Birthday" to them, but I couldn't explain why, so my family avoided that when I was growing up, but I outgrew that as an adult. As a young adult, I was engaged to a man, and whenever he'd ask me how I felt about our relationship, I'd tell him I didn't know, and he broke off our engagement because he thought I was playing mind games with him, and I wasn't. Now, I'm married to a man who understands I'm not good at expressing myself, and he has found his own ways of working around that. I've also been suspected of being on the autism spectrum, but have never been formally evaluated or diagnosed.
I’m fascinated by how much this video describes my entire roller coaster of mood swings and suffering from this case .. it’s at least comforting to know that this isn’t a weird thing to be the only one having troubles establishing emotions
I'm an authistic guy with alexithymia. It's funny because I also enjoy singing as a way of feeling but I notice also that the texts often really don't apply to my life. I have been exploring many genres of music all my life as a way of helping me focus or finding an outlet for nervous energy and anger. I don't dance but I do strength training, on bad days I can't perform and that tells me I need to take it easy and rest for a few days.
A very interesting video, I have always felt a little jealous of people that show great excitement on occasions such as Christmas/weddings/party’s ect ,and just wish that I could just experience a small part of the joy that they have,but sadly that’s not to be and never has been as far back as I can remember, thank you for educating this 47 year old, I have often wondered if there was a name for this and it’s always good to know that others experience things similar to how we feel as it does not make us feel so alone.
I have a student who also has this trait. I am training her to become a detective. Brain can only work on what is perceivable, so we go through roundabout ways to deduce how she feels, so that we may service the need of hers that isn’t being met. Becoming all of the colours of Life is such a journey. For me, when I strived for integrity, my body brain connection became better, and I can better meet my needs, and this affects my mood, and my mood affects my energy and ability to create. The book « The Way of Integrity » by Martha Beck had been pivotal, it’s through that book I finally understood I was autistic. What a plot twist, at 36. Thank you very much for sharing your inner world with us ❤
My father was killed in Vietnam. I remember not being able to cry yet seeing others cry. I wanted to feel what they were feeling. I’ve met other people whose fathers also died in the Vietnam war. They all seem to be emotional about it. I so very much want to feel as they do. Strangely, music can make me emotional. I only recently learned I am autistic.
Thanks for sharing your experiences! It blew my mind when I discovered most people apparently feel emotions viscerally. I didn’t realise this difference existed, because people so seldom talk about their inner experience. Also, on a side note, your cinematography is better than a lot of documentaries I’ve seen!
I struggle with the same thing when it comes to art. My lack of imagination makes me very reliant on references, or its completely abstract. It takes me a very long time to do anything that isn't realistic/hyper-realistic. I think this is why I struggle so much with graphic design. If there aren't rigid rules or brand guides to follow and I have to start with a blank canvas, my mind gets pulled in too many different ways and I get overwhelmingly stressed and angry. I have to design with logic and tons of information to start. It's mentally taxing. Thank you for sharing your experience!
I am 70 and lived my whole life not responding to what I felt/feel the way others did/do. I've been accused of/diagnosed as being depressed or anxious and medicated to make it go away which made me flat inside. I won't take them anymore because I reflected on my life's circumstances and realized feeling depressed and anxious were appropriate experiences. Life was sucking or wonderful. I had to learn behavior modification to keep my behavior in check and my mouth shut. Sometimes I feel like my mind is a camera and I record the apparent information of what I see without knowing how I am to feel about it.
I also have alexithymia and was diagnosed with Bipolar depression. It's very hard to communicate with people and understand their emotions if you can really feel it. Sometimes I always think that there was wrong with me and keep asking why I am not like them.
The greatest gift I realized was that crying doesn't need to have a reason. If we let bodily changes and expressions happen without deeming them to be a specific way or having a particular meaning, we are freed from anxiety and depression. I think "diagnosis" exacerbates certain experiences we don't need to have🧸For others it may manifest a "comfort". You don't have to show "joy" for the sake of others' perception of you. What you have described, I have had my own version of and I transcended it by not giving a damn eventually. I just realized those experiences were keeping me in a loop of constantly trying to micromanage how things needed to be🤷🏾♀️😁🤗 I hope you get everything you desire in 2023 & beyond! And I hope all who are advising & supporting you are embracing who you are as you are, so that you no longer question your experiences💞 It's okay to "disconnect" from what you used to love. I allowed it only to discover that I have room to see and love things I didn't give attention to before. All experiences are a gift. I hope you see all of your gifts now. I think your sensitivities are great. I can definitely relate based on what you described about imagination🎍 It comes and goes....as it will; that's absolutely okay. For me, it means I can focus on whatever sense is strongest at the moment if visualization is "on vacation". Why not let life show what it wants to show?🤷🏾♀️
When there’s a disagreement, someone will inevitably, most likely, be disappointed in me. So I engage in any and every disagreement in a way that ensures, that the person disappointed in me, never ends up being me! I aim to never repress, never suppress. I aim to never lose a part of myself. Radical honesty only: 100% of time. Always, all ways.
What has helped me to go from autistic moderate to severe alexithymia, all the way to empath, is understanding. What helps is understand why emotions exist, why you have relationships, and why you care about these people. Then ask yourself what you would want from these people. How they would show their love. What do you want to make you happy. How do you know what happiness looks like. I am literally writing a book on it to help me understand my happiness, but experimentation is key. Don’t feel obligated to do something, but see it as learning about yourself. Try to experiment “with the low hanging fruit, but incredibly difficult at first stuff like saying “thank you”, even if you don’t yet feel comfortable saying it. Practice when you feel stuck or struggling, with asking yourself what you exactly feel. Seperation is key, even make bullitpoints on the reasons why you feel a certain way, and what you feel. Relate it back to previous experiences you have felt a certain way. It helps you understand and release the inherent stress or fear associated with alexithymia. Practice feeling good about releasing your emotions. While for example the war in ukraine made me incredibly depressed for like a 3 day period, my release of emotions initially would help me feel better later, instead of a longlasting anxiety burden hanging over my shoulder. Yes i would feel worse initially, but overall i would feel alot better releasing my emotions
I don't have autism but I get alexithymia. I don't know how to express some feelings I feel intense or weird. During one of my encounters, I learned about North Korea and its citizens that don't have words like lesbian or gay. So I thought about how languages exist, someone had to invent how many people feel today. Usually, people who are described as average can explain themselves because it covers the same autonomy and similar story someone had. I ended up discovering that we aren't thought to make our words, we let people make them for us. I'm not Greek, a little Latin but I think if we want words that describe an experience it should be something. I haven't brought up this to my mind but a language that can combine everyone's common ground which is describing every sense you get in a human is somewhere to start. Off we divide the different experiences and go somewhere we can combine them in some way maybe it can help describe this. Also, by doing the same thing for actions, and color, maybe we end with something that can organize the logic in things we can not describe.
Yet, another “genius” with Alexithymia. I actually, almost, meant that. (Aspie. Alexithymia. Estimated iq of 154) Can’t express feelings, then you,fucking perfectly, describe your feelings. Is it not super fuggin’ annoying when people don’t use their words correctly. 🤣 🤣 You probably need a couple friends, much like yourself.
I feel the same, it's only after a "shutdown" and many negative thoughts that I realize I was angry or sad or whatever, in the moment i'm just lost in my head and i just can't thinking clearly or do or say anything. I compassionate so hard when you say that the most challenging is to show joy when someone is giving a gift or something, this is exactly me, i feel horrible cause I know that I'm suppose to say something like "Oh thank you so much!!!" and show surprise and being grateful but I just can't and I don't know why, I'm just watching helplessly and it's sooo frustrated and i feel really ashamed sometimes. I espacially hate when people give me gift because it's my anniversary or Christmas and not because they really want to, this is really not the same energy Thanks for sharing your experience about alexithymia, this is a thematic complicated to explain and misunderstood.
Hi, thanks your video helped pull me out of depression. I really connect with what you said, im an aspie. Wish i had more friends like yourself, i really struggle with empathy. I could easily sit down and talk for hours with you, just on the same wave length.
Спасибо, ты даёшь нужную информацию, возможно, твоя особенность даёт тебе некие преимущества. Также благодарен за практику английского языка и фоновую музыку.
thank you for sharing this with us, those words i can't say them as an alexithyimic person i've always searched for someone i can relate to to express my situation.
I felt that too for my whole entire life of 14 years. I now it is hard to express yourself and hard to feel emotion. It's okay I now that there is a cure. But I actually don't know but I feel there is a cure. I hope that you will get to feel better and feel a emotion.
Yes I feel the same (that was an attempt at humor). The emotion that I experience the most is anger at my miss-behaving kids and my NT wife's lack of understanding. Then for most of the time I don't know what I am feeling if at all. If I am laughing which tends to be a happy emotion is usually over my kids. A 4 and 6 year old can by very cute and funny. I describe the remaining time when I don't seam to feel anything as neutral time which is most of the time.
Been ignoring everything for 4years. Went to doctor to find out I have it. She said maybe I have clinical depression, as I have said to her I don't feel anything, just an anger. I'm finally going to tell to my family I have it I know I am young and capable to to many good things, unfortunately just can't find a feeling for it. I just use logic as you are saying. Last time I cried when my dog passed away 5years ago. 5:40 as you said body is reacting and you can't do single thing rather just to wait it to finish what's doing . Adrenaline spikes but don't feel it just faded away Tried talking with one friend she said she loves me but I don't feel anything towards her and I have seen its breaking her apart. I wish I could just feel anything to show her but I can't. I'm emotionaly blind :/
Thank you for sharing your experience 🖤 It's hard to live in the world where people are supposed to have emotions. And about love, I strongly believe we can be in love, but it is manifesting differently. Only if you're not aromantical of course which I don't know. For me, it just always was a feeling that I strongly need a special human. And you just know if there is a right person because you don't want him/her to be someone else's.
Hi, Ksana! Thank you for sharing! We all are so much different, and that's so exiting (at least, for me) to dive into a person's inner world, compare it to your own one. Your videos always make me look closer into my own thoughts and feelings, explore my "soul" and mind. I've found out I have lots of similar problems, thoughts and feelings. Thank you for more insights, that's a very interesting journey indeed! I hope the medication will help you feel better and bring you to the state you wish to be in. Send you my love and best wishes!
I feel every word you said tbh it's hard for me to talk about this to anyone. I feel like I should express emotions to get accepted within my peers, the society otherwise I don't find the need to react at all, there's a constant fear that I'm watched by someone. The only emotion I can't control is anger, it feels like an implosion within my body and if I don't let it out I'll just..
thank you, ive been strugling for awhile to understand whats worng with me even people told me im afraid to express myself and my emotions, and i think its bcz i dont understand how i feel, even when im upset or cry i dont undersand the reason why, i know i have social anxiety and i think i also have Alexithymia.
Thanks for sharing this! You are amazing! Somedays I feel like numb (i am not saying I have it nor am I belittling anyone facing this) but not even near as what you go through, I kept wondering if the numb feeling was just me being dramatic or if there are people going through this and that's how I got to know about alexithymia and now you
It makes it hard to share yourself with others. Even with friends I'm not a very good storyteller because my stories lack the emotional narrative that makes audiences respond. So I end up being more of a listener. So I tell myself I am a good listener and that I am doing a good thing by letting people talk and talk. People say I help them feel less alone, and I guess that is why. But really I still feel alone in these interactions because they are one sided.
Thank you. This was informative. I do feel emotions. But I often don't feel it until much later. And it may be that I understand my emotions because of physical discomfort. I have a pain in my stomach that gets more or less, but seldom goes away. I wonder if it's because of this. I've. had all the tests and seen all the specialists to no avail. So maybe it's my barometer of feelings.
I feel too much a clearevoyant said I am HSP and during my childhood youth and twenties I did not always realize or better said categorize those feelings , the love of my youth when I didn't see her I felt empty but I didn't realize that that meant I missed her , what I felt for my father I did not realize that I loved him , I sense a strong feeling but I did not identify that feeling , is that the result of childhood trauma or alexithmia ? do you know the answer to this ?
@@KsanaLes I think it is so bc humans understand what is going on, whereas animals largely dont. And bc i dont "feel sorry " for myself, i thus dont really feel it for others. I mostly percieve what humans are experiencing emotionally, and "go through the motions" saying things like " sorry to hear that" or " wow, that's terrible" etc etc, but i say those things bc its expected. In my mind im thinking:" ok, its not nice for that person, but we all experience such things, and theyll get over it soon enough". Instead of comforting the person, i rattle off possible solutions for them. Lol. Anyway, when undecided about whether or not to study Chiropractic after school, my mom took me to a Psychologist for an assessments. His findings were: Study Marketing and Sales bc you dont care enough about people to do Chiropractic. Wahaha. Im 52 now and have worked alone as a self taught steel craftsman/ artist for 27 years. Perfect.
Honestly, IMHO, autistic and not feeling things, I think it has parts in emotions being too strong and/or a route to exploitation in formative years and what happens when a stimulus is errantly excessive? The mind blocks it out. I think there's also a close tie between alexothymia and depression. Whether correlative or causitive in one direction or the other, I don't know. But I do feel strongly there must be a tie there. But thinking back to my really early years, my rokemodels were Spock and Data. Even back to pre-adolescence... the lesson had already been learned. It has made adult life to be rather difficult. Most of the scripts to for tge correct expressions were never learned. It has turned into abpositive feedback loop... low willingness to form connections leads to less opportunity to do so. I can see why so many of us don't make it past 50s. Laxk of social bonds and an amazing ability to tolerate physical afflictions can lead to sone pretty severe situations...
I just wanted to say thank you for putting your video out there for people like me to find. I have always felt different to others around me and when in company I look at other peoples body language and facial expressions, then just try to copy them. Watching your video, you have described yourself and In doing so, you have described me better than I could have done myself. What do I do now I am positive that I have exactly what you are describing, is there help to improve or do we just expect this as the life we have been given. ?
I may be totally off base here, but your story made me wonder: Is it a learning difficulty? Difficult to learn what one expresses on the face and with body language? Rather than an inability to feel? I remember I was about 4 years old and lived with my great-grandmother during the summer in a remote village, while my parents worked in the city. There was a fire which engulfed one of the wooden houses 2 streets over from where we lived. My great-grandmother came out of the house, went to the street corner and stood there for what felt like an entire evening, watching the fire and saying that she was worried that the fire might move over and burn our house, too. I remember, as a 4 yo, trying to copy her, standing next to her and practicing to feel worried. I only remember this one episode, perhaps because it was an unusual event, or maybe because I felt empty and unsatisfied by the fact that I did not know how exactly to feel worried. Later in life, when I felt a situation called for becoming worried, I would recall this episode and think “this is how it looks to feel worried - stand there struck by horror with fire reflections flickering in your eyes”, and I would briefly try to replicate it. I do not have this sensation of needing to copy someone’s stance during an emotion to try to experience it with anything else - just this awe-struck worry, when I’m waiting for someone to come home or for news to be delivered. So, it might just be an oddness in learning that occurred during an early experience. This makes me wonder if in persons with autistic spectrum disorder this learning process might be disrupted. If you are describing that you are crying, it might be an emotion (unless it’s tearing from strong wind or smoke irritating the surface of your eyes), but your brain has not learned how to recognize it without using the crutch of another reference (I am crying, it means I am…)? Say, as a child you learned how to look at a 2D image of a dog drawn on a flat piece of paper and think “this is a dog” - i.e. a 3D creature that was named that for you by your parents, and your brain learned that, but perhaps it just failed at a similar association for emotions? It seems like a pretty complex process. I still cannot quite comprehend how is it that we learn to recognize, say “a tree” - they come in so many different shapes, and we also recognize their drawn representations. It must be even more complex, when trying to create mental associations to recognize an emotion.
Hi, if you're like me the alexithymia could be part of ADHD like myself. Once I got on medication for ADHD I can now process my feelings and also the delayed processing of my thoughts has been mostly hidden. I don't exactly operate at neurotypical speed and coordination but I believe they can't tell mostly.
It's interesting, thanks for sharing! I don't have ADHD official diagnosis, even though I suspect I have it (ADD) And I don't think it will be possible to get this diagnosis for me to try medications, because doctors see all my attention deficits as a result of my depression (they tend to ignore my words that I had huge problems with attention in school and long before my depression, or as I see it, autistic burnout). I would love to be better at processing my emotions.
@@KsanaLes I feel for you and described my symptoms exactly how you just did and my doctor in the US allowed my condition to go undiagnosed for another decade. I'm sure you're correct and try to have some relief that you know yourself better. I think many autistics have a very good sense of ourselves internally.
@@KsanaLes Yes, the part of our mind that is not used for us, is supposed to be used for society in an at will nature. Highly accurate, in-depth, doctorate level skills. must be given time to recover from use of dopamine neurotransmitters. The autistic mind lacks ability for short and repeated tasks. This mind lacks ability to become addicted to chemicals or drugs. Once dopamine is restored to the autistic mind, better perception of all senses are restored and becomes more nimble and an consume large amounts of information, analyzed and ready for use. This secret was hidden by political interests, for a specific party that uses bullying to reduce the acuity of the autistic people in public. Reduced to mumbling bafoons, because petty people enjoy destruction and their hidden tactics and unstated bullying rules against an already protected class and consideed a developmental disability. Not given correct treatment and medication when needed to become useful and under its own control from an assault of stimuli meant to drain our energy and have us autistics jailed, attacked, orleft to die. Many young people with autism are not treatdx properly. Then put in jobs we can't perform to the same standards due the the constant need for unnecessary detail and task switching. All of this makes us weak and ask for better treatment. Met with more bullying by the NT that just adopts rules we can't see or understand. They get very angry when asked for rules to be stated so we can understand and decide to adopt. The use of expression to a level of fluency we can't provide and continue to be demanded and NT meets us with incredible hostility and no respect or empathy is ever shown. As if we're the ones whom are cruel. Well they will continue to be manipulated by republican corporate interest. George w bush is also autistic. So was the first American whom is responsible for the sing songs tones and true love and only allowed less accurate display of their kindness and emotional display. It's worth far more though. Our neurotype is fully fleshed and what we have is determined on our own. We create new concepts to work with, on any size, and we can implement those. We can survive secluded, we can create new social structures. We can create our own way to teach our own and deal with our own. We are a full neurotype, the autistic neurotype. We are whole as we are. For purposes that are on our own level of understanding and pacing. We decide who's our own selves are as we're supposed to. We are all equal autistic people.
@@KsanaLes these others are doing all crime against us NT mate manipulation, NT mate regression, forcing our neurological condition to regress. Saying we're over displaying our pain. NT mate crime. Then if I say Im considering suicide, they just a t like we don't matter so we can't gain knowledge. I lost what I learned in college by this disregard for any self regulation and just, oh well. I don't have to put work in. NTs that was fun! No understanding. They say we won't understand our own limits. No prefrontal cortex for me, and just continued to suffer. Then forced to work harder after being made more energy intensive. No empathy. Just work harder while NT keeps you naive and drained. While you think you're normal, then ghosted. Girlfriend would just scream at me, like that helps? It's the ability to stay in control and not be overwhelmed that works. Nasty animals. Then they force you to take their abuse and they think you are still in control, while you pay for a crime they could just easily acted like they should. Pleasantly. Ultimately make you walk around unrestricted by your own neurological condition of ADHD. And continue to abuse. Because we can't possibly understand ourselves. Because we take their mannerisms, so all of us doesn't have any self determined control.
Yea I have ADHD aswell and I've noticed that ever since I started taking Vyvanse I'm able to do more and also feel more. It's definitely not on a 'normal person' level, but it's much better than it used to be.
I relate to most of this, especially before I found my partner. There was nothing to my personality and my emotions were jot normal. I feel more emotion these days but it's still delayed. Something crazy could happen in life and i won't connect my feelings to it in the right time. The only thing that makes me feel in the moment is my partner. It's strange and I need an explanation tbh
I feel nothing 95% of the time. Its hurting my wife and I dont think she understands me. I was isolated and alone for most of my 33 yrs on this planet, maybe that has something to do with it but I wish I could reverse it or at least know how to manage it. Because i dont want to hurt the only person i actually FEEL love for, it sucks. I dont want her to think im uncaring or unaffectionate because there is this problem with my brain. It feels so good to know i am not alone tho. Because I have always felt alone. Only logically, i can see and perceive things too and it comes across to my wife as indifference or lack of care and I do no like this. I hope she can learn to understand me as I try to understand her and her emotions and its especially hard with us because i feel nothing nor understand emotions and she feels emotions on crack, like times a million and its creating a disconnect I dont want. I care for her more than she will EVER understand or know i just wish I could express that care and love that I have. -sigh-
Нахожу себя в твоих видео.Не знаю, есть ли у меня аутизм, но я часто либо тоже не чувствую эмоций, либо наоборот у меня их переизбыток (что в разы реже). Мне кажется, где-то в подсознании у меня стоит запрет на их чувствование, а также выражение. Думаю это из-за того, что сам организм и тонкое тело гиперчуствительное. И таким образом организм говорит, что я лучше совсем ничего не буду чувствовать, чем такое обилие чувств.
Long ago, in the medieval periods for example when mental illnesses were not understood, people like you would of probably been classed as a vampire. I do believe that the myth of human vampire stems from this.
I feel too much but I did not always realize or better said categorize those feelings , the love of my youth when I didn't see her I felt empty but I didn't realize that that meant I missed her , is that the result of childhood trauma or alexithmia ? does anyone know the answer to this ?
As an NT am I right in thinking that someone with alexithymia would not be able to fall in love? Or at least not be able to recognise the feelings love brings. Love being an emotion in my opinion.
We can fall in love, but we experience it differently. As I said in video, people with alexithymia do have emotions, but they don't experience it as NT, we can't recognize them, but other manifistations are there. It's just feels good to be with a person you love. And you don't want him to be someone else's. We feel that he/she is our soulmate. This is how I know that I'm in love.
Если вы сделаете русские субтитры и зальете на канал с русской аудиторией, у вас будет очень много поднимающих и сочувствующих вам людей, потому что сейчас, к сожалению, люди даже которые испытывают эмоции, стали без эмоциональными, и некоторые этого не осознают
Look up no mind from osho.Thoughts have no life in them might help you with raising your understanding.I actually think you're healthier than you think.Mind can be a persistent trickster .Cheers
This is a very helpful video. I think you are wrong about imagination though. Read about Aphantasia from what you describe this is what you have. It is more common in people with Autism it is about not being able to see images. I also have it. There are advantages to having it as well as disadvantages. The head of Disney Pixar has it so it is not about not being able to imagine it is just not the way that people without it describe how you are creative.
Hello everyone I hope you're having a good day. Im Raine Jianoran a 3rd year Computer Science student from Philippines. As part of our thesis we were asked to provide a study topic that we want to explore and develop a helpful technology for it. Alexithymia case is one of the topic that we considered but I'm aware that my knowledge about it is not that good and wide so im trying to look for people who experiencing it or someone who know someone so that I can ask them for information that only alexithymiacs only knows. I am hoping that you could help us by answering us when we have questions and also for being one of our respondents in the future if ever our panelist will approve our proposal. We really want to study Alexithymia because not everyone knows this case so by doing this study we were hoping that this will also be a way of spreading awareness that this case is existing. I am really hoping that you could help us with this. Sorry for the disturbance and thank you in advance. I'll wait for reply, thank you and keep safe.
Мой младший брат похож на человека с РАС, но диагноз не подтвержден. Мои родители просто боятся, что официальный диагноз повлечет в будущем проблемы в социальной сфере, не хотят вешать на него "ярлык". Они даже ему не говорят, что видят в нем аутистические черты. Мы говорим на эту тему только между собой, не в его присутствии. Однажды он увидел статьи, которые читала моя мать, и был крайне раздосадован, спрашивал, зачем она это читает. Ему 17 лет. Вы говорили, что замужем. Для меня всегда было непонятно, как люди с РАС вообще вступают в отношения. Если отношения подразумевают эмоциональную отдачу, понимание эмоций партнера и тактильность. Не могли бы Вы снять видео об отношениях с мужем. Заранее спасибо!
@@KsanaLes у вас очень хорошо получается говорить по-русски, не каждый русский так хорошо сможет рассказывать😊 Про аутизм я плохо знаю, у меня другие проблемы... Но я поняла сейчас одну вещь... Если люди с этим расстройством не чувствуют сильных эмоций - в этом есть свой положительный момент. Они не нервничают! Это очень здорово. Ведь как говорится, все болезни от нервов. А если не нервничаешь, то на душе покой.😊 Ведь это как достичь Дзен и Нирваны)))Можно оценивать ситуацию без лишних эмоций, которые мешают трезво мыслить. у меня почти никогда не бывает спокойно на душе, отсюда постоянная тревога, депрессия, страх перед завтрашним днем...
Thank you for sharing! I recently started getting treatment via psychotherapy and soon i will look further in seeking help through diagnostics. My childhood (36 yrs ago) was rather negative so my ACEs Test scores are quite high. I can faintly remember that i used to experience very strong emotions but always in Correlation with the bad things happening in the world rather than the bad experiences of my own life. I guess at some point i disconnected myself completely from my emotions, just to never experience these abyssal feelings again, but maybe it was like this all my life. Too bad that i cant sense any positive emotions also 😅 i can only guess what kind of feelings i must've had afterwards, reading my psychosomatic clues. Anyone who is relating to this: you are not alone and at some point you will improve in handling this trait! 🦾
I feel nothing, but my body expresses my emotions for me. It’s automatic, like a robot. I actually started trying to stop showing my “emotions” so that it would be easier for my family to understand, and so I wouldn’t be deceiving anyone. I’ve stopped saying, “I love you” because it feels like a lie.. Thank you for making this.
Hi how are you please talk
@@faisalbi1330 I’m alright. My family still doesn’t understand but it’s alright. As long as they know what I’ve said. I’ve come to suspect that my Alexithymia might stem from ADHD, but my parents didn’t want to get my Alexithymia diagnosed, so I won’t even ask about that. I’ll just check myself in for an assessment when I turn 18.
@@CryOfAHarpy hi
@@CryOfAHarpy what is your smytoms?
@@CryOfAHarpy so how did you develop your alexithymia ? Please reply me I really want to talk about it please
I just wish my parents would have taken me to therapy as a kid I think my life would have turned out so much better. Now I'm 17 and thankfully I can feel but I'm still pretty numb and I'm very expressionless and lonely. I just feel numb and when I'm around people I just feel like there is a part of my soul that is missing.
Hi, I hope you don't mind my short note for you. I feel for you, really, I also feel like do not have words for expressing what I feel inside. And the harder I try to pick up the words, the feelings and emotions fade. And I stay totally empty... Then I found out that it's easier for me to write than to speak, and as a teenager I often wrote letters to my best friend. Reading good books with long and picturesque description of nature, people, buildings, ect. also helped me enrich my vocabulary. I tried to remember the expressions, play of words and invented my own, it was like a game. Maybe you will find some of my tips useful for you, and I'm sorry for the uninvited advice here.
@@tetianazyma9580 Thanks for your advice!
What do you suppose you could have done in therapy to make things different for you now? I'm jusy really curious about what you think about therapy and what it is that you know about it that you feel could help you. You're only 17 and I don't think there's a time limit on when/where you can overcome something. It will always require effort, but with effort, comes great reward.
Read the Bible from the book of John and Jesus Christ will fill that void and loneliness. That void was created in you by him to only be filled by him. Then when you place him in your life, he will help you with that emptiness.
I understand you. I am going to start therapy soon
I witnessed a man get hit by a car in front of a market. I went inside to notify the people and call for help. They didn't believe me, they had to go out and see for themselves, wasting time. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.
Very relatable, It seems like my emotions are separate from me and I don’t feel them until the emotions become overwhelming so I have to identify my emotions by paying attention to my body
Do you have pain and n.the body
Dear Ksana: Your Personality is a very valueble Gift. You have the Ability, to see Things as They are without any emotional connection behind it! The overemotional World needs People Like you, to evolve and come to Terms with. Never forget that. 😊👍
I've had this problem my whole life, too, and I'm 47. In fact, when I was a kid, I was one of those kids who would cry whenever a room full of people sang "Happy Birthday" to them, but I couldn't explain why, so my family avoided that when I was growing up, but I outgrew that as an adult. As a young adult, I was engaged to a man, and whenever he'd ask me how I felt about our relationship, I'd tell him I didn't know, and he broke off our engagement because he thought I was playing mind games with him, and I wasn't. Now, I'm married to a man who understands I'm not good at expressing myself, and he has found his own ways of working around that. I've also been suspected of being on the autism spectrum, but have never been formally evaluated or diagnosed.
I’m fascinated by how much this video describes my entire roller coaster of mood swings and suffering from this case .. it’s at least comforting to know that this isn’t a weird thing to be the only one having troubles establishing emotions
I'm an authistic guy with alexithymia. It's funny because I also enjoy singing as a way of feeling but I notice also that the texts often really don't apply to my life. I have been exploring many genres of music all my life as a way of helping me focus or finding an outlet for nervous energy and anger. I don't dance but I do strength training, on bad days I can't perform and that tells me I need to take it easy and rest for a few days.
A very interesting video, I have always felt a little jealous of people that show great excitement on occasions such as Christmas/weddings/party’s ect ,and just wish that I could just experience a small part of the joy that they have,but sadly that’s not to be and never has been as far back as I can remember, thank you for educating this 47 year old, I have often wondered if there was a name for this and it’s always good to know that others experience things similar to how we feel as it does not make us feel so alone.
Thank you! Knowing that you're not alone is very important, I'm glad to hear that I can make this difference through my videos
I have a student who also has this trait. I am training her to become a detective. Brain can only work on what is perceivable, so we go through roundabout ways to deduce how she feels, so that we may service the need of hers that isn’t being met.
Becoming all of the colours of Life is such a journey. For me, when I strived for integrity, my body brain connection became better, and I can better meet my needs, and this affects my mood, and my mood affects my energy and ability to create. The book « The Way of Integrity » by Martha Beck had been pivotal, it’s through that book I finally understood I was autistic. What a plot twist, at 36.
Thank you very much for sharing your inner world with us ❤
Ты правильный Учитель, все верно делаешь!!Привет тебе из Казахстана!!
i cried while watching this video idk if im relieved and feel related to all you said, im happy to know that im not the only one going through this
My father was killed in Vietnam. I remember not being able to cry yet seeing others cry. I wanted to feel what they were feeling. I’ve met other people whose fathers also died in the Vietnam war. They all seem to be emotional about it. I so very much want to feel as they do. Strangely, music can make me emotional. I only recently learned I am autistic.
Thanks for sharing your experiences! It blew my mind when I discovered most people apparently feel emotions viscerally. I didn’t realise this difference existed, because people so seldom talk about their inner experience. Also, on a side note, your cinematography is better than a lot of documentaries I’ve seen!
I struggle with the same thing when it comes to art. My lack of imagination makes me very reliant on references, or its completely abstract. It takes me a very long time to do anything that isn't realistic/hyper-realistic. I think this is why I struggle so much with graphic design. If there aren't rigid rules or brand guides to follow and I have to start with a blank canvas, my mind gets pulled in too many different ways and I get overwhelmingly stressed and angry. I have to design with logic and tons of information to start. It's mentally taxing. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Thank you for sharing! It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who has the same issues with imagination 🥺 I feel you!
Your not the only one 😢 i been like this for years
I am 70 and lived my whole life not responding to what I felt/feel the way others did/do. I've been accused of/diagnosed as being depressed or anxious and medicated to make it go away which made me flat inside. I won't take them anymore because I reflected on my life's circumstances and realized feeling depressed and anxious were appropriate experiences. Life was sucking or wonderful. I had to learn behavior modification to keep my behavior in check and my mouth shut. Sometimes I feel like my mind is a camera and I record the apparent information of what I see without knowing how I am to feel about it.
I also have alexithymia and was diagnosed with Bipolar depression. It's very hard to communicate with people and understand their emotions if you can really feel it. Sometimes I always think that there was wrong with me and keep asking why I am not like them.
The greatest gift I realized was that crying doesn't need to have a reason. If we let bodily changes and expressions happen without deeming them to be a specific way or having a particular meaning, we are freed from anxiety and depression.
I think "diagnosis" exacerbates certain experiences we don't need to have🧸For others it may manifest a "comfort".
You don't have to show "joy" for the sake of others' perception of you. What you have described, I have had my own version of and I transcended it by not giving a damn eventually.
I just realized those experiences were keeping me in a loop of constantly trying to micromanage how things needed to be🤷🏾♀️😁🤗
I hope you get everything you desire in 2023 & beyond! And I hope all who are advising & supporting you are embracing who you are as you are, so that you no longer question your experiences💞
It's okay to "disconnect" from what you used to love. I allowed it only to discover that I have room to see and love things I didn't give attention to before. All experiences are a gift. I hope you see all of your gifts now. I think your sensitivities are great. I can definitely relate based on what you described about imagination🎍
It comes and goes....as it will; that's absolutely okay. For me, it means I can focus on whatever sense is strongest at the moment if visualization is "on vacation". Why not let life show what it wants to show?🤷🏾♀️
When there’s a disagreement,
someone will inevitably,
most likely,
be disappointed in me.
So I engage in any and every disagreement
in a way that ensures,
that the person disappointed in me,
never ends up being me!
I aim to never repress,
never suppress.
I aim to never lose a part of myself.
Radical honesty only:
100% of time.
Always,
all ways.
I do that too!❤❤
What has helped me to go from autistic moderate to severe alexithymia, all the way to empath, is understanding. What helps is understand why emotions exist, why you have relationships, and why you care about these people.
Then ask yourself what you would want from these people. How they would show their love. What do you want to make you happy. How do you know what happiness looks like. I am literally writing a book on it to help me understand my happiness, but experimentation is key. Don’t feel obligated to do something, but see it as learning about yourself.
Try to experiment “with the low hanging fruit, but incredibly difficult at first stuff like saying “thank you”, even if you don’t yet feel comfortable saying it. Practice when you feel stuck or struggling, with asking yourself what you exactly feel. Seperation is key, even make bullitpoints on the reasons why you feel a certain way, and what you feel. Relate it back to previous experiences you have felt a certain way. It helps you understand and release the inherent stress or fear associated with alexithymia.
Practice feeling good about releasing your emotions. While for example the war in ukraine made me incredibly depressed for like a 3 day period, my release of emotions initially would help me feel better later, instead of a longlasting anxiety burden hanging over my shoulder. Yes i would feel worse initially, but overall i would feel alot better releasing my emotions
Спасибо за это видео, мало кто поднимает эту тему, но благодаря тебе я почувствовала себя не одинокой🥺❤
If I don’t know any better, I think you have a stoic personality.
I don't have autism but I get alexithymia. I don't know how to express some feelings I feel intense or weird. During one of my encounters, I learned about North Korea and its citizens that don't have words like lesbian or gay. So I thought about how languages exist, someone had to invent how many people feel today. Usually, people who are described as average can explain themselves because it covers the same autonomy and similar story someone had. I ended up discovering that we aren't thought to make our words, we let people make them for us. I'm not Greek, a little Latin but I think if we want words that describe an experience it should be something. I haven't brought up this to my mind but a language that can combine everyone's common ground which is describing every sense you get in a human is somewhere to start. Off we divide the different experiences and go somewhere we can combine them in some way maybe it can help describe this. Also, by doing the same thing for actions, and color, maybe we end with something that can organize the logic in things we can not describe.
Yet, another “genius” with Alexithymia. I actually, almost, meant that. (Aspie. Alexithymia. Estimated iq of 154) Can’t express feelings, then you,fucking perfectly, describe your feelings. Is it not super fuggin’ annoying when people don’t use their words correctly. 🤣 🤣
You probably need a couple friends, much like yourself.
I feel the same, it's only after a "shutdown" and many negative thoughts that I realize I was angry or sad or whatever, in the moment i'm just lost in my head and i just can't thinking clearly or do or say anything.
I compassionate so hard when you say that the most challenging is to show joy when someone is giving a gift or something, this is exactly me, i feel horrible cause I know that I'm suppose to say something like "Oh thank you so much!!!" and show surprise and being grateful but I just can't and I don't know why, I'm just watching helplessly and it's sooo frustrated and i feel really ashamed sometimes. I espacially hate when people give me gift because it's my anniversary or Christmas and not because they really want to, this is really not the same energy
Thanks for sharing your experience about alexithymia, this is a thematic complicated to explain and misunderstood.
Thank you so much! Yes, it seems like our experience is pretty similar!
Hi, thanks your video helped pull me out of depression. I really connect with what you said, im an aspie. Wish i had more friends like yourself, i really struggle with empathy. I could easily sit down and talk for hours with you, just on the same wave length.
This reminds me of the movie Frequencies. Maybe you're the special one and "the masses prefer not to be self aware".
This was a very educational video. I never knew that alexithymia had these types of effects on a person's life. Keep up the good work.
Спасибо, ты даёшь нужную информацию, возможно, твоя особенность даёт тебе некие преимущества. Также благодарен за практику английского языка и фоновую музыку.
thank you for sharing this with us, those words i can't say them as an alexithyimic person i've always searched for someone i can relate to to express my situation.
Thank you for your honesty and sharing. I relate to everything you have said. Late in life but it's good to know the truth about myself.
I felt that too for my whole entire life of 14 years. I now it is hard to express yourself and hard to feel emotion. It's okay I now that there is a cure. But I actually don't know but I feel there is a cure. I hope that you will get to feel better and feel a emotion.
Yes I feel the same (that was an attempt at humor). The emotion that I experience the most is anger at my miss-behaving kids and my NT wife's lack of understanding. Then for most of the time I don't know what I am feeling if at all. If I am laughing which tends to be a happy emotion is usually over my kids. A 4 and 6 year old can by very cute and funny. I describe the remaining time when I don't seam to feel anything as neutral time which is most of the time.
Been ignoring everything for 4years.
Went to doctor to find out I have it.
She said maybe I have clinical depression, as I have said to her I don't feel anything, just an anger.
I'm finally going to tell to my family I have it
I know I am young and capable to to many good things, unfortunately just can't find a feeling for it.
I just use logic as you are saying.
Last time I cried when my dog passed away 5years ago.
5:40 as you said body is reacting and you can't do single thing rather just to wait it to finish what's doing . Adrenaline spikes but don't feel it just faded away
Tried talking with one friend she said she loves me but I don't feel anything towards her and I have seen its breaking her apart. I wish I could just feel anything to show her but I can't.
I'm emotionaly blind
:/
Thank you for sharing your experience 🖤 It's hard to live in the world where people are supposed to have emotions. And about love, I strongly believe we can be in love, but it is manifesting differently. Only if you're not aromantical of course which I don't know. For me, it just always was a feeling that I strongly need a special human. And you just know if there is a right person because you don't want him/her to be someone else's.
From child until now , I'm don't know why very jealous every time look People like live , never give up alexithymia from born.
Hi, Ksana! Thank you for sharing! We all are so much different, and that's so exiting (at least, for me) to dive into a person's inner world, compare it to your own one. Your videos always make me look closer into my own thoughts and feelings, explore my "soul" and mind. I've found out I have lots of similar problems, thoughts and feelings. Thank you for more insights, that's a very interesting journey indeed! I hope the medication will help you feel better and bring you to the state you wish to be in. Send you my love and best wishes!
I feel every word you said tbh it's hard for me to talk about this to anyone. I feel like I should express emotions to get accepted within my peers, the society otherwise I don't find the need to react at all, there's a constant fear that I'm watched by someone. The only emotion I can't control is anger, it feels like an implosion within my body and if I don't let it out I'll just..
thank you, ive been strugling for awhile to understand whats worng with me even people told me im afraid to express myself and my emotions, and i think its bcz i dont understand how i feel, even when im upset or cry i dont undersand the reason why, i know i have social anxiety and i think i also have Alexithymia.
I'm with you..
Tried phsycadelics? Did it and i tapped into my emotional with my rational so easily.
Thanks for sharing this! You are amazing! Somedays I feel like numb (i am not saying I have it nor am I belittling anyone facing this) but not even near as what you go through, I kept wondering if the numb feeling was just me being dramatic or if there are people going through this and that's how I got to know about alexithymia and now you
For me it’s gotten to the point where I feel like my mental capabilities like using it for tasks or trying to remember is deteriorating.
It makes it hard to share yourself with others. Even with friends I'm not a very good storyteller because my stories lack the emotional narrative that makes audiences respond. So I end up being more of a listener. So I tell myself I am a good listener and that I am doing a good thing by letting people talk and talk. People say I help them feel less alone, and I guess that is why. But really I still feel alone in these interactions because they are one sided.
Thank you. This was informative. I do feel emotions. But I often don't feel it until much later. And it may be that I understand my emotions because of physical discomfort. I have a pain in my stomach that gets more or less, but seldom goes away. I wonder if it's because of this. I've. had all the tests and seen all the specialists to no avail. So maybe it's my barometer of feelings.
I understand Alexithymia. Antidepressants can also make anyone feel numb and zombie-like. I hope things improve for you.
I feel too much a clearevoyant said I am HSP and during my childhood youth and twenties I did not always realize or better said categorize those feelings , the love of my youth when I didn't see her I felt empty but I didn't realize that that meant I missed her , what I felt for my father I did not realize that I loved him , I sense a strong feeling but I did not identify that feeling , is that the result of childhood trauma or alexithmia ? do you know the answer to this ?
I have huge empathy for animals. Humans, not so much.
Yes!
@@KsanaLes I think it is so bc humans understand what is going on, whereas animals largely dont. And bc i dont "feel sorry " for myself, i thus dont really feel it for others. I mostly percieve what humans are experiencing emotionally, and "go through the motions" saying things like " sorry to hear that" or " wow, that's terrible" etc etc, but i say those things bc its expected. In my mind im thinking:" ok, its not nice for that person, but we all experience such things, and theyll get over it soon enough". Instead of comforting the person, i rattle off possible solutions for them. Lol. Anyway, when undecided about whether or not to study Chiropractic after school, my mom took me to a Psychologist for an assessments. His findings were: Study Marketing and Sales bc you dont care enough about people to do Chiropractic. Wahaha. Im 52 now and have worked alone as a self taught steel craftsman/ artist for 27 years. Perfect.
Honestly, IMHO, autistic and not feeling things, I think it has parts in emotions being too strong and/or a route to exploitation in formative years and what happens when a stimulus is errantly excessive? The mind blocks it out. I think there's also a close tie between alexothymia and depression. Whether correlative or causitive in one direction or the other, I don't know. But I do feel strongly there must be a tie there.
But thinking back to my really early years, my rokemodels were Spock and Data. Even back to pre-adolescence... the lesson had already been learned. It has made adult life to be rather difficult. Most of the scripts to for tge correct expressions were never learned. It has turned into abpositive feedback loop... low willingness to form connections leads to less opportunity to do so. I can see why so many of us don't make it past 50s. Laxk of social bonds and an amazing ability to tolerate physical afflictions can lead to sone pretty severe situations...
I just wanted to say thank you for putting your video out there for people like me to find. I have always felt different to others around me and when in company I look at other peoples body language and facial expressions, then just try to copy them. Watching your video, you have described yourself and In doing so, you have described me better than I could have done myself. What do I do now I am positive that I have exactly what you are describing, is there help to improve or do we just expect this as the life we have been given. ?
Hello Ksana!
I find this Video really very interesting.
Thank you for sharing your world with us.
🖤
Thank you so much, dear Stella!
Ты Молодец - очень красивое и откровенное видео. спасибо что делишься своей жизнью. прекрасный английски. охото твой голос слушать еще и еще.
I may be totally off base here, but your story made me wonder: Is it a learning difficulty? Difficult to learn what one expresses on the face and with body language? Rather than an inability to feel?
I remember I was about 4 years old and lived with my great-grandmother during the summer in a remote village, while my parents worked in the city. There was a fire which engulfed one of the wooden houses 2 streets over from where we lived. My great-grandmother came out of the house, went to the street corner and stood there for what felt like an entire evening, watching the fire and saying that she was worried that the fire might move over and burn our house, too. I remember, as a 4 yo, trying to copy her, standing next to her and practicing to feel worried. I only remember this one episode, perhaps because it was an unusual event, or maybe because I felt empty and unsatisfied by the fact that I did not know how exactly to feel worried.
Later in life, when I felt a situation called for becoming worried, I would recall this episode and think “this is how it looks to feel worried - stand there struck by horror with fire reflections flickering in your eyes”, and I would briefly try to replicate it. I do not have this sensation of needing to copy someone’s stance during an emotion to try to experience it with anything else - just this awe-struck worry, when I’m waiting for someone to come home or for news to be delivered. So, it might just be an oddness in learning that occurred during an early experience.
This makes me wonder if in persons with autistic spectrum disorder this learning process might be disrupted. If you are describing that you are crying, it might be an emotion (unless it’s tearing from strong wind or smoke irritating the surface of your eyes), but your brain has not learned how to recognize it without using the crutch of another reference (I am crying, it means I am…)? Say, as a child you learned how to look at a 2D image of a dog drawn on a flat piece of paper and think “this is a dog” - i.e. a 3D creature that was named that for you by your parents, and your brain learned that, but perhaps it just failed at a similar association for emotions? It seems like a pretty complex process. I still cannot quite comprehend how is it that we learn to recognize, say “a tree” - they come in so many different shapes, and we also recognize their drawn representations. It must be even more complex, when trying to create mental associations to recognize an emotion.
Hi, if you're like me the alexithymia could be part of ADHD like myself. Once I got on medication for ADHD I can now process my feelings and also the delayed processing of my thoughts has been mostly hidden. I don't exactly operate at neurotypical speed and coordination but I believe they can't tell mostly.
It's interesting, thanks for sharing! I don't have ADHD official diagnosis, even though I suspect I have it (ADD) And I don't think it will be possible to get this diagnosis for me to try medications, because doctors see all my attention deficits as a result of my depression (they tend to ignore my words that I had huge problems with attention in school and long before my depression, or as I see it, autistic burnout). I would love to be better at processing my emotions.
@@KsanaLes I feel for you and described my symptoms exactly how you just did and my doctor in the US allowed my condition to go undiagnosed for another decade. I'm sure you're correct and try to have some relief that you know yourself better. I think many autistics have a very good sense of ourselves internally.
@@KsanaLes Yes, the part of our mind that is not used for us, is supposed to be used for society in an at will nature. Highly accurate, in-depth, doctorate level skills. must be given time to recover from use of dopamine neurotransmitters. The autistic mind lacks ability for short and repeated tasks. This mind lacks ability to become addicted to chemicals or drugs.
Once dopamine is restored to the autistic mind, better perception of all senses are restored and becomes more nimble and an consume large amounts of information, analyzed and ready for use. This secret was hidden by political interests, for a specific party that uses bullying to reduce the acuity of the autistic people in public. Reduced to mumbling bafoons, because petty people enjoy destruction and their hidden tactics and unstated bullying rules against an already protected class and consideed a developmental disability. Not given correct treatment and medication when needed to become useful and under its own control from an assault of stimuli meant to drain our energy and have us autistics jailed, attacked, orleft to die. Many young people with autism are not treatdx properly. Then put in jobs we can't perform to the same standards due the the constant need for unnecessary detail and task switching. All of this makes us weak and ask for better treatment. Met with more bullying by the NT that just adopts rules we can't see or understand. They get very angry when asked for rules to be stated so we can understand and decide to adopt. The use of expression to a level of fluency we can't provide and continue to be demanded and NT meets us with incredible hostility and no respect or empathy is ever shown. As if we're the ones whom are cruel. Well they will continue to be manipulated by republican corporate interest. George w bush is also autistic. So was the first American whom is responsible for the sing songs tones and true love and only allowed less accurate display of their kindness and emotional display. It's worth far more though. Our neurotype is fully fleshed and what we have is determined on our own. We create new concepts to work with, on any size, and we can implement those. We can survive secluded, we can create new social structures. We can create our own way to teach our own and deal with our own. We are a full neurotype, the autistic neurotype. We are whole as we are. For purposes that are on our own level of understanding and pacing. We decide who's our own selves are as we're supposed to. We are all equal autistic people.
@@KsanaLes these others are doing all crime against us NT mate manipulation, NT mate regression, forcing our neurological condition to regress. Saying we're over displaying our pain. NT mate crime. Then if I say Im considering suicide, they just a t like we don't matter so we can't gain knowledge. I lost what I learned in college by this disregard for any self regulation and just, oh well. I don't have to put work in. NTs that was fun! No understanding. They say we won't understand our own limits. No prefrontal cortex for me, and just continued to suffer. Then forced to work harder after being made more energy intensive. No empathy. Just work harder while NT keeps you naive and drained. While you think you're normal, then ghosted. Girlfriend would just scream at me, like that helps? It's the ability to stay in control and not be overwhelmed that works. Nasty animals. Then they force you to take their abuse and they think you are still in control, while you pay for a crime they could just easily acted like they should. Pleasantly. Ultimately make you walk around unrestricted by your own neurological condition of ADHD. And continue to abuse. Because we can't possibly understand ourselves. Because we take their mannerisms, so all of us doesn't have any self determined control.
Yea I have ADHD aswell and I've noticed that ever since I started taking Vyvanse I'm able to do more and also feel more. It's definitely not on a 'normal person' level, but it's much better than it used to be.
that should be amazingly useful for videogames
I relate to most of this, especially before I found my partner. There was nothing to my personality and my emotions were jot normal. I feel more emotion these days but it's still delayed. Something crazy could happen in life and i won't connect my feelings to it in the right time. The only thing that makes me feel in the moment is my partner. It's strange and I need an explanation tbh
Thanks for sharing.
Anhedonia is completely ruining my life. I can’t hold down relationships and I can’t perform at work.
I feel nothing 95% of the time. Its hurting my wife and I dont think she understands me. I was isolated and alone for most of my 33 yrs on this planet, maybe that has something to do with it but I wish I could reverse it or at least know how to manage it. Because i dont want to hurt the only person i actually FEEL love for, it sucks. I dont want her to think im uncaring or unaffectionate because there is this problem with my brain. It feels so good to know i am not alone tho. Because I have always felt alone. Only logically, i can see and perceive things too and it comes across to my wife as indifference or lack of care and I do no like this. I hope she can learn to understand me as I try to understand her and her emotions and its especially hard with us because i feel nothing nor understand emotions and she feels emotions on crack, like times a million and its creating a disconnect I dont want. I care for her more than she will EVER understand or know i just wish I could express that care and love that I have. -sigh-
touché
I have Alexithymia to some said if I'm ok i didn't know what to say i was born with it
Нахожу себя в твоих видео.Не знаю, есть ли у меня аутизм, но я часто либо тоже не чувствую эмоций, либо наоборот у меня их переизбыток (что в разы реже). Мне кажется, где-то в подсознании у меня стоит запрет на их чувствование, а также выражение. Думаю это из-за того, что сам организм и тонкое тело гиперчуствительное. И таким образом организм говорит, что я лучше совсем ничего не буду чувствовать, чем такое обилие чувств.
Long ago, in the medieval periods for example when mental illnesses were not understood, people like you would of probably been classed as a vampire.
I do believe that the myth of human vampire stems from this.
Did you try meditation? i heard that it helped some alexithymics to recover.
Is it normal for a person without Alexithymia to feel something ALWAYS????
No you don't always feel something.
That's what I was told by psychiatrist etc.
I feel too much but I did not always realize or better said categorize those feelings , the love of my youth when I didn't see her I felt empty but I didn't realize that that meant I missed her ,
is that the result of childhood trauma or alexithmia ? does anyone know the answer to this ?
Thank you xx
What's that music at the end? I like it
As an NT am I right in thinking that someone with alexithymia would not be able to fall in love? Or at least not be able to recognise the feelings love brings.
Love being an emotion in my opinion.
We can fall in love, but we experience it differently. As I said in video, people with alexithymia do have emotions, but they don't experience it as NT, we can't recognize them, but other manifistations are there. It's just feels good to be with a person you love. And you don't want him to be someone else's. We feel that he/she is our soulmate. This is how I know that I'm in love.
Если вы сделаете русские субтитры и зальете на канал с русской аудиторией, у вас будет очень много поднимающих и сочувствующих вам людей, потому что сейчас, к сожалению, люди даже которые испытывают эмоции, стали без эмоциональными, и некоторые этого не осознают
Look up no mind from osho.Thoughts have no life in them might help you with raising your understanding.I actually think you're healthier than you think.Mind can be a persistent trickster .Cheers
This is a very helpful video. I think you are wrong about imagination though. Read about Aphantasia from what you describe this is what you have. It is more common in people with Autism it is about not being able to see images. I also have it. There are advantages to having it as well as disadvantages. The head of Disney Pixar has it so it is not about not being able to imagine it is just not the way that people without it describe how you are creative.
Thank you! No, I don't have Aphantasia
Hello everyone I hope you're having a good day. Im Raine Jianoran a 3rd year Computer Science student from Philippines. As part of our thesis we were asked to provide a study topic that we want to explore and develop a helpful technology for it. Alexithymia case is one of the topic that we considered but I'm aware that my knowledge about it is not that good and wide so im trying to look for people who experiencing it or someone who know someone so that I can ask them for information that only alexithymiacs only knows. I am hoping that you could help us by answering us when we have questions and also for being one of our respondents in the future if ever our panelist will approve our proposal. We really want to study Alexithymia because not everyone knows this case so by doing this study we were hoping that this will also be a way of spreading awareness that this case is existing.
I am really hoping that you could help us with this. Sorry for the disturbance and thank you in advance. I'll wait for reply, thank you and keep safe.
Have the antidepressants blunted your emotions even more?
I think so!
@@KsanaLes thats why i ditched them.. I felt numb and it was a scary far away feeling. I would rather feel the pain to be honest. Much love 💚
Hi
Want to ask you help ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
Across you I have very strong emotion sadness
I hear that Stop thinking make emotion stop
IS that true for your view
Change with me❤
But why the sad music....?
Does this look like a happy topic ?
Yeh let's just have upbeat music with a depressing topic why not! 😂
Мой младший брат похож на человека с РАС, но диагноз не подтвержден. Мои родители просто боятся, что официальный диагноз повлечет в будущем проблемы в социальной сфере, не хотят вешать на него "ярлык". Они даже ему не говорят, что видят в нем аутистические черты. Мы говорим на эту тему только между собой, не в его присутствии. Однажды он увидел статьи, которые читала моя мать, и был крайне раздосадован, спрашивал, зачем она это читает. Ему 17 лет.
Вы говорили, что замужем. Для меня всегда было непонятно, как люди с РАС вообще вступают в отношения. Если отношения подразумевают эмоциональную отдачу, понимание эмоций партнера и тактильность. Не могли бы Вы снять видео об отношениях с мужем. Заранее спасибо!
💮
жалко, просто жалко пустых людей. и мир жалко что они есть и что делать с этим "гуманного" не ясно
May I ask several questions in a private prism?
you can contact me in Instagram
@@KsanaLes
I do not have Instagram.
ksanalesart@gmail.com
@@KsanaLes
Danke ihnen
Do you feel just normal?
The ideal woman? No feelings. Only logic. Where do I find more Alexithymic women?
Вы знаете несколько языков, могли бы работать переводчиком😊
Я очень плохо их знаю, чтобы работать переводчиком
@@KsanaLes у вас очень хорошо получается говорить по-русски, не каждый русский так хорошо сможет рассказывать😊 Про аутизм я плохо знаю, у меня другие проблемы... Но я поняла сейчас одну вещь... Если люди с этим расстройством не чувствуют сильных эмоций - в этом есть свой положительный момент. Они не нервничают! Это очень здорово. Ведь как говорится, все болезни от нервов. А если не нервничаешь, то на душе покой.😊 Ведь это как достичь Дзен и Нирваны)))Можно оценивать ситуацию без лишних эмоций, которые мешают трезво мыслить. у меня почти никогда не бывает спокойно на душе, отсюда постоянная тревога, депрессия, страх перед завтрашним днем...
@@Vsegda_Vesna я нервничаю и у меня тревожное расстройство
@@KsanaLes вы очень хорошая и талантливая девушка😊 желаю вам успеха и счастья
Молодец с Аутизмом еще выучила Английский язык, красава !!
аутизм это не умственная отсталость, не путайте (
stop doing the same thing again and again
У тебя афантазия?
нет
Thank you for sharing! I recently started getting treatment via psychotherapy and soon i will look further in seeking help through diagnostics. My childhood (36 yrs ago) was rather negative so my ACEs Test scores are quite high. I can faintly remember that i used to experience very strong emotions but always in
Correlation with the bad things happening in the world rather than the bad experiences of my own life. I guess at some point i disconnected myself completely from my emotions, just to never experience these abyssal feelings again, but maybe it was like this all my life. Too bad that i cant sense any positive emotions also 😅 i can only guess what kind of feelings i must've had afterwards, reading my psychosomatic clues.
Anyone who is relating to this: you are not alone and at some point you will improve in handling this trait! 🦾
Same. Nice video!