Conference Quotes That Made Mormons LEAVE the Church
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- Опубликовано: 14 апр 2022
- Which General Conference talk influenced you to leave the church?
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“Where will you go?” sounds a lot like isolating a victim of abuse
Exactly!
@@GS-mh6xv Yes!!
No, it's a reference to when a lot of people got upset about Jesus teaching them the sacrament and he asked the apostles if they would also leave. "But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." ~ John 6:68
@@stephtimms1776 Exactly. Anties will twist anything, even scripture, to fit their narrative. Poor, lost souls.
The most harmful talk for me was 20 years ago - "do not delay having children for financial or any other reason." I was not financially or emotionally ready, and now I'm overwhelmed with too many kids, too close together, and almost no support system. The church is an illusion of support. I'm constantly trying to hold my family together... I'm exhausted and falling apart. My oldest, 9 years old, is already in therapy, for being suicidal.
Money doesn't make you happy, per se, but it does help you feel safer, more content, and much less stressed. And when you're less stressed, you're a better, more patient, more present, emotionally available parent.
The church preaches children in quantity; the world needs children raised with quality.
That's so extremely manipulative. Whether and how many children to have is a deeply personal decision and nobody's business but the couple. Mostly the woman's choice, actually. She should have veto power completely.
@@utah133 yeah, well, it's much worse than that. They teach the girls separately from the boys as young as 12. Girls are taught their "divine nature" and "individual worth" is being a mother and wife. Aka, the entirety of our value is in playing that role. So girls are desperate to get married to "feel valued" and coerced into motherhood to "be valuable." And when our children "make bad choices", the mothers feel incredible shame and embarrassment that they've failed their "most important" role.
Because the prophet said, "no success in the world can compensate for failure in the home."
You are so right about all of this. What terribly destructive "guidance." I hope you can find more support, soon.
exactly, when i was younger i told my dad i didn’t want kids and he said something like “that makes me so sad i hope in the future you change your mind” he made it sound like i was ruining my life by choosing to not have kids. i can only imagine what he’d say if i told him i don’t want to get married. i was abt 13-14 when i said that too, the emotional manipulation is unreal
That talk was very harmful for my mom as well, she kept having kids despite having bad depression. Passed it onto me and was never there for my depression because she was too busy with her own I was suicidal at 8
I really liked Uchdorf (still do) but I absolutely hated his talk about "doubt your doubts". I had not yet started questioning but all I could think was, "If I have doubts I don't want to ignore them, I want to resolve them."
Resolving doubts is healthier than doubting them. I think Uchtorf was gas lighting in a sort of friendly way.
I think he was trying to point out that the devil often plants doubt in our minds... in and out of the church. If you were married and had doubts your husband was being faithful, how would you resolve it? If you had just reasons to doubt that's one thing. But if he was faithful to you and you were scared or doubt was planted in you by a person trying to break your marriage up out of jealousy, it would be good to doubt your doubt. Satan is jealous of Jesus Christ.
I like Ucdorf too. That talk may have been pressure from those around him. I wonder what would happen if he ever became prophet.
One of the most obviously manipulative quotes ever. I agree with you on resolving doubts. Way more useful to doubt faith, I think.
You’ll never know everything there is to know in life. Does that mean you should discredit what you already know for that reason? I think not. Stay strong and keep your light burning.
When you look at all of these together, the manipulation is so obvious. I only wish I'd seen it sooner.
Love your candle, Lex! 🧡
The “church” works to keep people too busy to really learn anything. I’ve got to do this checklist to be loved and reminded constantly how horrible I am with the non worthiness….
My mental health is so much better now than it was when my shelf broke and I left six months ago.
Thank you for the videos, they help a lot!
We did "If-Then" statements every day in seminary (2017). If I am good, then god will be merciful. If I listen to the prophet only then will I get blessings. Never paid attention to it then but they literally taught us god doesn't care about us unless we sell ourselves to the church and give them full control of our lives.
It's disgusting
That's simply not true. They teach how much God loves us all the time, regardless of our choices. It's all through the Book of Mormon.
@@stephtimms1776 you weren't there, and you're telling me, the one who was, I'm wrong? Idiotic
@@stephtimms1776 it’s false bible ain’t not heard scripture bible about anybody preaches another gospel let them be accursed
Holy kjv only true bible
@@stephtimms1776 That’s simply not true. They are always talking about God cursing and killing his children because of their choices. It’s because of love though right?
I haven’t been a part of the church for a while, probably as long as I’ve been moved out of my parents house. But I finally sent in my resignation letter this past weekend. I’m both excited to finally leave and terrified of what my still active family will say/do
Left both Christian church and Mormon they pissed me off already long JCP can’t asked job centre all do sit ass blow money on phone contract try clear arrears have more money may what point everything going mark beast system
You explain someone think your freak crazy Mormons go by nephi ain’t John
So they believe in works
No grace just repent judgment day is coming all going grave someday until second coming and resurrections first or second
Good luck! Have faith in YOURSELF from now on 🥰 Rly hope it goes ok. It'll be better in the end ❤️ (altho it might suck for a bit. That's ok too. Deep breaths.) And well done!
The conference talk that pushed me the furthest away was Safety for the Soul by Jeffrey R. Holland in Oct 2009. He had that line that people leaving the church would have to 'crawl over' the Book of Mormon to do so, as if it was the main barrier to disbelief in the church.
The funny thing was, all of my growing doubt were centered around the absurdities in Book of Mormon, and it made me realize there wasn't any good argument for me to continue to believe.
Lol well he just shot himself in the foot.
My reasons for leaving had nothing to do with the BoM. The people in it were the main reason.
It should be a huge barrier to apostasy, because it's a powerful testimony of Jesus Christ.
@@diamonddavemctv The talk simply means leaving the church is leaving all the truths found in the Book of Mormon, truths which a faithful member would have to crawl over to abandon and leave the Church.
@@jimbomanzano5743 Again, had nothing to do with the BoM or it's truths.
There was a quote from Harold B. Lee that he gave at a BYU Devotional where he said that anyone who was born with a disability or as an ethnic minority were made that way for fighting on the wrong side of the war in Heaven in the so called Pre-existance!
As someone who has Aspergers and ADHD and SEVERAL friends who are ethnic minorities this quote INFURIATES me like no other.
As it should. Im 70 years old, l was baptized LDS when l was a wee child. When l was about 15 l saw things at church l didnt like so l quit going. My father, whos family have been Mormon since the beginning of Mormonism, kept asking me "why l wasnt going to church" so often l finally told him. He never asked again and l havent been back. Sometimes its the wee things that you see, but you dont SEE, that can be the straw that breaks the camels back. I still believe in God and Jesus, just not the one they are preaching. But l will get my back up when someone who has never been to an LDS church start spouting a bunch of hearsay they know nothing about. A person l like to consider a friend told me about this site and l thank them heartily. It is a breath if fresh air here.
@@tinaredington1292 I can relate, I was told that due to my struggles with ASD and ADHD that I did not qualify for a mission, then at 24 I noticed that there were people who were for lack of a better term worse than me (as in very noticeably Learning Difficulties and Differences) that were returning to the Singles Ward from full time Missions! This confused the hell out of me! Then came the so called revelation of children of Gay couples were NOT allowed to join the church followed by the quick backtrack of that which bugged the hell out of me cause in my studies God didn't hate and NEVER changed His mind!
I don't remember how I found out about Lex's channel though but she is great and as you said a wonderful breath of fresh air to know that I am not alone in my disappointment and disdain for the Cult I was born and raised in
If manipulation doesn't work, insult them! 🤦🏼♀️
LOL!!!
break them so you can build them up, just like God right
My moms shelf broke when she was 18 and was forced to participate in a baptism of the dead ceremony and said she felt like she was in a cult and had to get out. The majority of my moms side of the family is Mormon and I have extreme anxiety and fear regarding my relatives trying to baptize me into the church after I die and I will get no say in it. I’ll be gone of course so I won’t know and won’t care, but I worry because I feel it is so disrespectful and against my wishes. (I’ve been working through this in therapy a bunch lol)
No one can do that. God wouldn't allow you to be forced. You will always have a choice. And it isn't done in that way, but as an offer only.
This practice is so disrespectful and unnecessary. I hope you are in a safe situation and that your family honors your wishes (in the very distant) future.
@@stephtimms1776 It's so ridiculous that it shouldn't even be done at all. Baptizing dead people? Nah, it's definitely not a cult.
@@mylesmarkson1686 You're twisting it. They don't do that. They baptize living people in behalf of an ancestor who never had the opportunity, some who never heard of Jesus Christ.
@@stephtimms1776 I'm not twisting anything. They baptize dead people (since they are no longer living). It is stupid as hell. I'm sure that a God with even the smallest level of competence could take care of all of this in the after-life, but Mormons are so determined to make sure that they worship the lamest God possible and prove once again that they're the creepiest cult around. Mission accomplished!
Top of my feed on this Good Friday. God is good! 😇
God is good all the time. All the time God is good.
It's going to be horrifying when Dallas H. Oaks is the next church Prophet. He will be the modern day Brigham Young.
Terrifying indeed.. I hope more people see the truth and leave because of it, but I really feel for those who stay and have to deal with the sudo-reality of the true believer watching others leave. I felt like the choice was fundamental nationalism or compassion after all things 2020.. I can't imagine who will be left after Oaks as President.
@@RyanHawley76 Christ taught colonization, He taught government, he never taught religion
all Kingdoms expand through the process of colonization...every thing he taught was colonization.... it starts at Mark 1:14 and Matt 4:17 .. colonization is the influence of a King expanding to new territory and is reflected in changes in culture, values and principles
False prophets
@@andrewfarrugia6072 business men
@@marksavoia3687 we don’t know if even the guy existed, hence, it’s irrelevant
I started researching the LDS church because one of my bffs is a gay exmo, and while I'm grateful for the understanding I've gained, it hasn't eased my sorrow for him at all. In fact, he's still deeply wounded, and he's been out for 35 years. The fact that Mormons still condemn anyone for any reason, especially something as innate as sexuality, in 2022 is tragic and abhorrent. I feel for everyone who is still under their spell.
My comment is from an Episcopal church viewpoint, but I find these statements absurd and disastrous. In the Episcopal Church, we believe that God is a God of ever perfect, abiding LOVE.Our presiding bishop, the rough equivalent of the Prophet, has said "If it's not about love, it's not about God". I don't find anything loving in these General Conference statements. For example, why would God sentence LGBTQ people to a lower level of Heaven, or outer darkness, when he created them in His own image? Makes no sense to me, and I think this is damaging to the entire LDS community. Good work, Lexie, for bringing this out in the open.
Thank you for so beautifully acknowledging that God is the source of Love, not an inconsistent, secret-handshake requiring tyrant. That's the LDS church's issue, who definitely do not speak for the I Am.
Again, thank you for weighing in with such lovely and powerful words. I wish you and yours blessings of love, life and liberty!
God doesn't sentence us to anything, we do with our choices. The Holy Bible teaches this, and that there is a heaven and a hell that we will eventually go to. It's love to preach the truth regarding how our choices effect this.
@@stephtimms1776 That describes a "love" based in fear and manipulation. That is an unhealthy, toxic, and conditional "love" that only ever harms the person you are trying to protect.
@@stephtimms1776 Did god not set the rules of what determines people going to heaven or hell in the first place? Why does he insist on doubling-down on rules he gets to choose when it hurts so many people? Wouldn't changing his mind on the rules that hurt or dehumanizing people be much more loving? He's done it before in the past.
I can see you're trying to be positive and helpful here and that what the church teaches fits well for you and your life. But I'm warning you that saying these things in a space where people have clearly been hurt by the church is only going to hurt them further and get backlash aimed at you. A lot of these people have been told what you are saying for their whole lives and still left. I spent time with the church until I realized that what it teaches villainized good people that I love with all my heart as well as me for having the gall to fall in love with another woman. Your words read empty to me, even if I can tell you as a person probably mean well trying to shepherd the heathers here back to a place that you think of is safe, but is dangerous and harmful to a lot of us here.
You won't change minds here, even if your intention is kind. Reassurances in the name of a god many here feel betrayed by will only cause further harm. Please dedicate your efforts towards people it might actually help instead of disturbing the peace and relief of those here who feel better for leaving the church. It will be a better use of everyone's time.
@@saged1513 God didn't become God by making up rules, but by obeying them... like an airplane flies by some people learning and obeying rules of physics. He can and does change on some things as his wisdom sees fit, but there are some things with which he cannot do that. His will hasn't and doesn't always fit well for me and my life, at which times I work to find gratitude and patience to release my will to his, for my own sake, for I greatly believe in his wisdom and love for us all. It's a process.
Why can't the leaders preach with love? The dark threats, about what will happen if one leaves, are frightening, especially to young members. It's all about being together for eternity, rather than loving life now. The verbal punches against LGBTQ members are just abusive. The church isn't growing, but the ex-mo community is.
The leaders don't preach with love because this truly a cult. They manipulate and gas light, guilt and shame and condemn just like Satan . Christ convicts with love. Christ came to set us free. He is completely different. I am so very happy that l left. PS. I am not a lazy learner. They are liars.
One easy answer to that....life isn't all peaches and cream, rainbows and butterflies if you will...there is plenty of love and spirit to be had when certain general authorities are speaking. However like I said there's also more things in life than just love. This is an issue I've had attending these huge mega churches( , I believe they're evangelical denomination,) there's no talk what so ever of repentance. They only talk the love and joy narratives...so if you're really looking to get "lied" to just attend these churches...
@@dickbuffman594 There is a difference between truth with conviction and truth with cruelty, and manipulation and fear plus shaming, and deception...
Their tactics are manipulative and coersive. Christ was not. He was loving and straight forward. I don't recommend a mega church for butterflies and rainbows and no truth. I advocate for the Real Biblical Christ and His gospel spoken in love ( not the pretend King Follet discourse Jesus , who cannot save). There are still a few churches out there who do offer it.
Exmo community on the rise..lol... 🤣. This community is not really a community.. it's just a bunch of confused people that don't know how to deal with life. If you don't like the church or feel betrayed by it or feel that it's a cult, then just move along!!! Why would you sit and bitch and moan about something that is past and done.. I can't think of a more nonproductive use of time than to sit here and whine about your decision to believe in a faith that you've come to believe as untrue.... This sounds like a personal problem to me. Ok so the church isn't true like so many have claimed. What are YOU gonna do about it? Voice your concerns and opinions on tic tok and you tube?? Or do you think it more productive and better for your mental and spiritual health to forgive and move on and find a faith that better suits what you're all about? If you just absolutely just have to have gay leaders and transsexual clergy members, then by all means go to a church that has all that....it really is that easy...this way you can move on with your life and not get bogged down with resentment after resentment.,..I know you and the others that follow this must think I'm just a troll...but like I've said before many times, I'm an ex LDS church member. I stopped going to church and believing in the church back in 94-95, right before I was suppose to submit my papers for my mission calling. I had every reason to be bitter and angry at the lies I had been taught to believe. I was pissed off at God and the leaders of the church for a long time. I came to realize that dwelling in that loathsome frame of mind , wasn't doing anything for me but keeping me down and separated from heavenly father. All my doing again. Just like continuing to attend church was all my choice, nobody forced me to go and participate... I just wonder how long this subject matter will be able to maintain. Somebody somewhere in there has to realize what I'm talking about..Have a wonderful Easter weekend and enjoy the rest of this marvelous good Friday afternoon and evening... Praise God!
life is beautiful and conditional love is a truly joyous experience. mormonism is a conditional love based on fear based on pride. love can not exist in fear so once you realize that you are simply playing in paralell with other narcisists that simply can not love, your shelf shatters and there is no going back. the sum total of the gospel is directed at becoming a god. it only creates narsissm though for those that buy in and spend thier entire lives trying to achieve something that cannot be theirs even if it were true. there is an evil in leaders who know this but say nothing because they know that there would be no heros welcome to anyone who dare utter the truth. the lead an entire group of people to literal hell.
I didn’t have that one moment that I recognized it was wrong, I had a slew of little tiny things. Over my life I gained a lot of friends who weren’t Mormon and weren’t raised in the church. So many of them were LGBTQIA and I started to wonder how these amazing people could be sinners and how them fighting to find happiness was wrong. I ended up falling into a deep depression the summer after highschool and the way these different groups of people reacted really showed me the truth. My Mormon friends told me to get over it, that I was too sad to be around their light, that I should just pray. I even had a Mormon boyfriend who would take advantage of me sexually and then claim it was fine because 1.) he was just trying to cheer me up and 2.) because we’d get married in the temple later and it would be fine. Then there were my non Mormon friends. They came over and helped me through everything. Let me know I was strong, told me that it wasn’t my fault, helped me move on from the manipulative ex, and even helped me come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t the straight cookie cutter Mormon I was supposed to be. I decided that what the church was teaching was toxic and that it would no longer be how I lived my life. I still struggle with mental illness, but now I see the real “saints” in my life and know where to get help and who will live me unconditionally.
I love when you post these videos - when I was a TBM I used to just listen to conference all "starry-eyed" and would just eat up everything the prophets said. (I had a SEVERE lack of critical thinking skills - I was told that men/priesthood holders/the prophet were the authority and to never question, so I literally never did.) Now listening to these with an entirely different paradigm (out for 12+ years) I cannot believe what garbage I used to swallow without question. Thanks so much for doing this - it's helped my journey so much.
I question everything they and anyone else says. I don't see most of what they say as garbage, but very helpful to me in my life. Some of it has been difficult and I have rejected.
My grandma and mom freaked out at me when I was 12 or 13 for questioning the calling of a stake president based on something he had said. I felt so embarrassed, but at the same time, shocked at their response. It took another 20 years before I allowed myself to question the church authority again.
The talk that triggered me most was Uchdorf's "Doubt your Doubts.". So blatantly Orwellian.
If those speakers are starting to constantly tell members to follow the male prophets of the Church over the teachings of Christ, then you know they are a full blown cult.
They aren't doing that, but telling us to follow Christ and them. I do this by following them as long as they follow Christ. It's rare but sometimes I feel they are not but in insignificant things, and I do not follow them in those things.
What pushed me away from the church was when I started noticing that the Pearl Of Great Price and Doctrine And Covenants contradicted The Book Of Mormon and that certain scriptures in The Book Of Mormon contradicts other parts of The Book Of Mormon. And that the original edition of the Book Of Mormon taught a very different doctrine about the nature of the Godhead but was changed for later editions.
But I certainly can remember a conference talk from quite a few years back that never sat right with me. I couldn’t who gave the talk but I remember he spoke about going to a work conference through his job. At the bar everyone was drinking alcohol. He decided that if he drank a soft drink people may still assume he had alcohol in it. He then thought of having water, but was then concerned that people would assume it was a clear-coloured alcohol. So, to avoid confusion, he decided to have milk. Ive just found this talk, and it turns out to be L.Tom Perry from general conference in 1988, 13 years before I joined the church, so Im not sure how I heard it in conference!
But whenever this conference talk was, it still doesn’t sit right with me. I’m sorry, but how messed up does your life have to be that you’re afraid of drinking water in public in case people think it’s alcohol? Surely it can’t be the church’s purpose to make its members feel self-conscious and paranoid in group situations?
I can remember another talk, in the 2000s, when the speaker - I forget who - mocked Darwin for claiming man was descended from apes. Darwin never claimed that. He claimed apes and humans had a shared ancestor, which isn’t the same thing. I remember thinking “How unworthy! If you’re going to criticise ‘the enemy’ at least get your facts right!”
Another conference talk, and again I can’t remember who it was, said that the large cathedrals in other Christian churches would make great grain stores. The congregation laughed, as the speaker had clearly intended. I can remember thinking “a) that’s disrespectful to other religions and isn’t really true to the spirit of the 11th Article Of Faith and b)I was led to understand that conference talks were the place for levity.”
"You are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are" powerful words Lexi : ) Thank you!
I’ve always thought that the laziest thing you can do is to just accept whatever weird church you happened to be born into.
The brethren and/or their successors WILL eventually EAT every single word that Dallin Oaks has ever said.
"Where will you go?'
Right where I'm currently sitting, obviously.
I'ma go to bed on a Sunday :p
My bishop asked me this when I sat in his office asking to be released and telling him I was done. He said with a very snide smug face “where will you go?”
I replied
Home. I’m going home and saving my family from all this nonsense.
And that’s what I did.
I greatly appreciate you addressing abuse issues. I dont think many leaders understand how abusive situations work. Even though there were many people in the ward I grew up in tried to help me, many people were afraid of my abusers
It's so frustrating that instead of addressing the actual reasons and the "why" people are leaving the church, they just keep using guilt and fear tactics. Literally trying to gaslight those who have left or are questioning.
Abbey, they use guilt and fear because they don't have a leg to stand on.
When you're selling a fraud you have to tell lies, simple fact of life
That's not true. They have and do address the reasons. A lot of communication has to do with how we interpret what is said. When I listen to conference, I tell myself to try to see past any negativity and hear the voice of the Lord, which he has said those who seek to learn and obey his own words, they will know his voice when they hear it. But this takes patience and gratitude on our part, sometimes a lot, to mine it out. Inspiration is a process, a joint effort. It's not about them, but about Jesus' efforts to reach us through imperfect men and women.
Ever hear the country song by Gabby Barrett - "The Good Ones"? It's about men who are good but not perfect. Why would anyone look for faults in good men? It's been my experience that even though it can be very difficult at times, most of what the leaders say is inspired and helpful.
They have a right to state their beliefs which may or may not be perfectly expressed, or said in the best way. But none of us are perfect.
These men aren’t good men. Simple!
@@stephtimms1776 Steph, please tell us more about how well they address why people leave...instead of lying , shaming, and fear mongering.
I grew up in an LDS small community. Our family was part of the 5 percent not LDS. I researched the religion and I could not believe that all of them went along with it. My sister was going to join to fit in. I just told her to hold out because we could leave when we were 18 and done with high school. She didn't join and I am happy for that. But it really messed us up not being accepted. Now I just shake my head at it and laugh at the people still there. It was such a depressing place....Mudlake Idaho! Cheers...I will order hoards of your candles! Cool!
🧡 That must have been so trying! Even before I left, I was really happy to have grown up in Virginia, where Mormonism isn't the predominant culture.
Dallin H Oaks actually believes that telling glbt persons they will go to a lower kingdom will make them feel better and that somehow him talking about this will ease persecution toward the church. He is delusional. Why are they obsessed with this subject?
They aren't obsessed with it, but are trying to address it for people who are concerned about it. I believe what he meant is that we are not comfortable in the presence of God when we do not live his laws. I know I'm not, so I try to live them.
In old school Mormonism the goal is not going to any kingdom, it is becoming a God. Read King Follett Discourse . We all eventually become God's. Dallin H.Oaks is not teaching the truth. LGBTQ people and straight people are all humans, so we all will have glory.
See, LGBTQ and Women's equality was what first made me doubt. Then they started to deny what went on in the temple and former teachings of Godhood. Now, I don't recognize the church of my childhood that had small pockets of sanity. It's all been taken over by the corporate shills.
I started losing my faith at 12 and fully lost my faith at 15. I couldn't understand how my dad, the most faithful guy I knew, had a "pornography problem" and then when I went through some health struggles, I remembered my patriarchal blessing which said I would go through some tough times but come out stronger if I read and listened to the words of the prophets. Being queer didn't help me keep my faith because I couldn't understand why my feelings were "abnormal" and "bad" and "sin" when I knew that I had never done anything to be worthless. I thought I had a very strong testimony at 12 so I looked into some "anti-mormon propaganda" from telltale and it dissected a video that I would later watch in church and I couldn't stop thinking about the propaganda I had just watched from both sides. The kicker for me was the pandemic because I started watching Jimmy Snow and then moved on to Mormon Stories Podcast and then one of my friends brought me here and I am so grateful
It’s quite striking how well manipulation continues to work even in a post internet world. My cousin married into the Mormon faith a few years back. It’s surprising how well her local Mormon church has already flipped her to a massive Book of Mormon follower. She talked to me about this subject once, I assume to try and get me to open up to it. I am a HUGE history buff so I laid some facts about Joseph Smith on her she did not know and later on in the evening, I saw her on her phone and I could tell she was looking up what I had told her. And yet, still is a Latter Day Saint to this day. As far as I’m concerned, conferences like this one are only speaking to the choir in an attempt to try and rationalize and justify their standing against the onslaught of enlightenment that the Information Age has brought us. Glad you managed to get out and use your voice to try and enlighten others.
This video was wonderful! Thank you for sharing.
Something that bugs me is the lazy learner excuse from members. I was heavily into the church and did countless hours of research on doctrine and church history. However, it was the fact that I am simply happier without the church in my life. However, there are ppl who just assume I was a lazy learner cuz “the church makes total sense”. Bull shit. Most of those people don’t look into real history, only church approved history
Hi! I've seen lots of your videos but didn't sub until now lol. I find this topic of crappy church talks very interesting. I'm currently 30, I grew up Mormon and served a mission, and was a huge believer, but left the church just last year cause I'm gay and finally did my own research and realized how corrupt the church is. I never felt like I belonged and it took all my 20s to figure out my life and the kind of person I want to be. I still believe in God, just not religion. I don't believe that God would allow ONE church to have a monopoly on salvation. Growing up there were plenty of conference talks that were hurtful, but it wasn't talks that did it for me, it was more just the church's actions. I remember in 2015, about a year after finishing my mission, Monson put out that rule that children with LGBT parents couldn't get baptized. That made sense to me at the time cause an LGBT couple wouldn't want their children to go to such an unaccepting church anyway. But it was in 2019 when Nelson reversed that rule, and was like, "Hey, gays aren't considered apostates anymore lolz" that's what shook my belief in the church leadership. Just cause I had spent all my life believing AND being taught that I was an apostate that didn't have a place, and then suddenly they were like, "Oh just kidding, you're valid" it was a punch in the gut. I was so mad. It felt like the church was trying to save face and there was nothing inspiring about those changes. I felt like I had been toyed with my whole life, so I slowly started letting go of each of the principles that I didn't want to align with, and now I'm here in an ex mormon's youtube channel sharing my story. I really like your content and I would love to hear you share more people's thoughts on these uninspired, awful conference talks.
My quote was the last one you used. Haha. Glad I was a lazy learner and left a comment. Great vid!
Yeah my wife and I just decided to leave the church after hearing Bingham, Renlund and Oaks talks. Unbelievable 😔 Obviously there was a lot more that went into the decision, but they confirmed what we had concluded. We said if some things change at this conference we would stay, but it got worse!
No Lex, you're the best.
And people wonder why I hate that church the way I do.
I have and love the "Heathen" candle! Great content, as always
For Nelson's talk in 2019, I find it interesting that the prophet has to question how effective someone choosing to be baptized after this life would be. Wouldn't that have been a really easy question for the prophet to ask god and get an answer?
He is not a prophet.
@@cc-mk2hp more like Profit
A prophet doesn't know everything, only those things that the Lord sees as relevant to the people he is leading at that time. He doesn't know everything each person will chose in the next life, or how effective those choices will be in view of the ones they made in this life.
Yeah I was shocked when he said that about his friend 😔
@@GuyRegular They're all certainly profits!
I left the church mentally abt a year ago. The lazy learners quote was like the last straw for me, that and the 'shun people who get abortions' 🙄
Love your videos. I was never a Mormon but lived in Park City and worked in Heber City and Coalville for 11 years so had intimate knowledge of the Church and good friends who were on what I call the Mormon Spectrum (see what I did there? LOL). When I had children, I want them to be exposed to all the major faith philosophy but NOT manipulated into a box of organized religion. I found the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship and it was exactly what I wanted. My kids celebrated Hanukkah, Christian holidays, Kwanza, Ramadan-with modified fasting but with the meaning, and others. There were no sermons, just more like college lectures that talked about philosophy, spirituality and so many other topics and afterwards it was just a big discussion group with no right or wrong opinions and especially NO JUDGEMENT~ We had members from every faith and no faith-many atheists and agnostics who asked the very hard questions! I am not plugging the UU's as there are other groups out there with similar agendas. I bring this up as there are probably many of you with young children who want some kind of foundation for your children but want them to be exposed to all without any hard sell approaches! For those of you who are Non-CIS, our Pastor was LGBTQ! Beware-each fellowship charts it's own course basically and some talk little about the bible while others talk more so the best course is always to visit many and see which one fits the most comfortably with the message you want your family to absorb.
As a never been Mormon, the question that always comes to my mind is what is this claim about being the restored church. What is restored? Certainly not anything connected with the temple. There was one temple where the Jewish people went to sacrifice and pray. They never baptized anyone there, they did not marry there, etc… Nor do I find any similarity between the early church and Mormonism…
Right? I can't believe I never noticed it growing up in UT. It's so delusional to think that their customs are in any way derived from Hebrew beliefs or traditions. It's obvious masonry. In fact, if you're curious, do a web search for pictures of the Salt Lake Temple. The imagery used on it is straight up creepy, and obviously not a part of the Judaeo-Christian milieu.
Anyhoo, I hope you have a marvelous day, my fellow human. Cheers! :)
Nothing was restored. That was a lie.🙄
The organization of the church leadership was restored, along with some ordinances, which were adopted from the Book of Mormon (baptism and the sacrament) There were new revelations from modern day prophets, like eternal marriage.
@@stephtimms1776 it is easy enough to see what new beliefs came in, we see how the leadership of the LDS church is organized. We can also know what the early church believed. Do they match? Do a thought experiment and imagine the apostle Paul coming back. What would he say? He was very fervent in defending the gospel. BTW, according to Jesus, in Heaven there is no marriages. We are like angels.
@@briteddy9759 That is true according to the New Testament, Jesus did teach that. However, we believe he was referring to those who do not want it or otherwise did not embrace it's principles (as revealed in modern day revelation after the church was restored with the New and Everlasting Covenant, foretold in the Old Testament).
I'm an exmo and a current software developer. Nothing would make me lose faith in god's love like comparing it to code which in my experience is very often poorly planned, hacked together, and extremely fragile. Absolutely terrible analogy lol
Your analogy does apply to Joseph Smith 's work. He was a hack.
As a Software Developer myself, it would be more accurate to say he was making a comparison to a logical construct known as "if...then", which also is exists in the natural world and can be applied independently of computer code. An example in nature would be: "IF a sheep doesn't drink water, THEN it will perish from thirst".
Using computer science to present the analogy is a superior example for a modern audience because it uses experiences that are familiar among the people being taught, similar to how Christ used analogies that were common to the people that He taught in day of His ministry.
Awesome video! Thank you! Nice eye-opening video as usual.
7:06 Damn. I always blamed myself for what my ex-wife did, and this are the reason people stay in and/or die by suicide.
Thank you so much Lexie.
Very true! Wonderful video!
In regards to “fear inducing,” I had struggled with that for so many years. The church is secretly founded on fear and guilt trips. When I really sat down and questioned my faith - I realized it was not faith at all. But fear. Pure fear to think that if I left the church that I could be burned at the second coming, or no longer be with my son after death, or be left in “outter darkness.” And after thinking about that for a while I realized how totally fucked up this entire church is. I want to be genuinely HAPPY and mentally healthy in life. Not fearful everyday that I’m not doing enough for an imaginary entity comparable to Santa clause. It made me feel really stupid. So I left the church and never looked back. And it quite literally felt like I had unshackled myself and stepped out of the jail cell. But I was holding the key the entire time.
Very cool video idea! Thanks
I never missed general conference and always made sure that we watched it as a family. April 2020 conference was hyped up before hand as one to not be missed saying it would be "historic". Turns out that the big reveal was hanky waving and the hosanna shout which I'd never seen nor heard of in my entire life. This? This little performance and ritual was the big deal? I did it because I am obedient... but it just stuck in my head. Such a tiny insignificant thing built up to be so much more...
That was the last general conference we watched. By accident we missed the next conference and meant to go back an watch it but never did and really didn't miss it at all.
@@good_advice_to_you LOL! I needed that laugh and I will remember it that way from now on. So long, farewell :)
FYI I’ll never fall in line I’m still a member I have 3 gay children and I will never be anything other than a proud mama
Proud of your children while actively believing in a doctrine that calls those children evil.
Put on your anti-evil undies!
one of the last things my dad told me before he died was that he would come down to visit me. Mormonism is all about becoming a god. you are or you arent. If you had any love for your children you would leave to spite your pride.
Proud of you and all your hard work baby! 😘❤️
Ya know, I am just about to rebrand in which I discuss existential issues; and your videos and articulations have been really important to me working through some trauma as a fellow ex-Mormon, who ironically is living in the Philippines where I served my mission…and yesterday marked my 14th year anniversary of when I entered the MTC, and I am about to come out to my channel of 98,737 subscribers. And I cannot handle doing one more video as my current brand. I will be change the name from Puting Pinoy and be going very secular and authentic to who I am. Censoring myself so much on my RUclips channel has been one of my last mental prisons to get out of and heal from.
I am married to a Filipina. I am happy as a secular atheist. I believe in Social Priority. And all as an ex-Mormon healing from traumas and triggers inflicted by the church. Ex Mormons should get together and discuss a class action against the church for all they took from us along with the medical bills for the traumas and emotional damage done to us. It made us fear making authentic choices, because those authentic choices have been so different from what the For Strength of youth said during my youth.
Ps. Ex-Lex, I’d love to talk about an idea I had soon.
A class action lawsuit would be very well-deserved, but it would probably be difficult to get to go through, considering mental damage is difficult to prove(or some judges are biased against believing in it ) and the church has a LOT of money to hire lawyers with. I don't see it passing easily in a place like Utah, but other states or maybe even other countries could potentially hold the church accountable for the damage it's done!
I'm sure there are many ex-mormons that work in law that would be willing to help work on it too
Please talk about the Brigham Young alphabet. I have never heard anything about it.
Read my earlier post. It lasted about 20 years. Around 1965 crates of books were discovered at the Deseret News paper storage closets. I got 4 of them and tried to read or write in that alphabet. It was hopeless- but marginally possible. 20 years ago I passed them on to my son for good keeping.Brigham was a tyrant with notions of creating a new empire in the Salt Lake Valley. It did not last.
The Deseret alphabet is such a neat bit of history, isn't it? If you're interested in actually learning how to read it, there's a pretty comprehensive tutorial here:
www.deseretalphabet.org/files/Complete-Guide-to-Reading-and-Writing-the-Deseret-Alphabet.pdf
One of the stated reasons for implementing the alphabet was to help non-English-speaking converts moving to Deseret have an English alphabet that was more phonetic than the standard English alphabet. Of course, given the level of tight control in Brigham Young's Utah, it may also have been useful from a control standpoint. This is only conjecture on my part, but if a portion of the population (English learners and children going to school in Deseret) can't read the normal English alphabet, that makes information control easier? (Again, though, that's only conjecture on my part.)
These talks you quoted are horrible for someone trying to figure out there path and I was always taught to question the authority's so I have and no the church is not true and I hope the best for those who do leave the church to follow their own path remember to thy ownself be true, thank you for your all you do and Brite Blessing be with you and yours
Lex, I have to disagree with you on this one- supporting your channel gives us something in return - your great content!
So, by having these sponsors that we can buy merch from, is getting something EXTRA for ourselves.
If we buy from them, we get more vids from you, and some great coffee, or a neat candle, etc.
Thank you so much for sharing your time with us. It really is appreciated and, in my case, truly enjoyed. ❤️😘
@7:20 The look on Lexi's face as she finishes reading that quote about abuse is priceless
I like your content new subscriber 👍 👍 👍 Thanks for sharing 👍
After taking detailed notes one conference weekend, I noticed 22 actions that fell into the category of "I should but am not doing." Yikes. It hit me, this is insane. It took me 3 more years to exit, but the "aha" never left me.
Random comment, but I love your background and chair!
I agree that the bible and Christianity as a whole is full of conditional love, that part is true. Christianity teaches that god can forgive any "sin" that we choose to act out, yet is unable or unwilling to forgive the one "sin" we have no choice in... belief.
BTW: I don't know if this is what LDS doctrine states as I was never a Mormon, but I am exvangelical.
God loves us all, but hates sin because it harms us. Why do you think we have no choice in belief? We all do choose what to believe. God can work with weakness, but not persistent intentional rebellion. He still loves us, but it is a sin.
Just when I thought I knew it all, I learn there is a deseret script!? Great video, thanks for your content!
I have sent some of your videos to my dad he and my mom are strong mormons he definitely is more willing to get in all info my mom on the other hand wont see what's really going on in the church and she probably never will. I'm glad that you educate so many an it's really refreshing to hear someone that has been so Involved and now your out so you are able to see both sides
I just remember, after Oaks' talk about gender this April 2022 conference, there was a talk that I barely remember because I was still reeling from the sick feeling in my stomach, and then the speaker that came on next, just as I was starting to collect myself, gave a talk about how the things the prophets and apostles say are from God, so you shouldn't question or challenge them, and in fact you should sympathize with them because even if they don't agree they're speaking for God and not for themselves. And all I could think of was "how...orchestrated this is, that, after that Oaks banger, we've had just enough time to zone out before someone comes in and basically reminds us that if we're angry about it then we should just shut up and sit down and take it."
Just rewatched this video after finally watching the previous one.
The victim blaming almost made me throw my phone and scream. That was triggering even though I know your channel is a safe space for everyone.
I was not a lazy learner before I started having doubts, and I know plenty of others just like me... Please don't assume "most people" were lazy learners beforehand. It's insulting, just like the original remark by Pres Nelson.
I tried watching this most recent conference. There was a pretty decent talk about not being responsible for abuse which made me happy. But overall I just left with an icky feeling, and I didn't even watch most of it. Conference used to be my absolute favorite weekends of the year and now I dread them. But I'm glad I'm not alone at least.
Well, that's an improvement. When l came forward with my fathers sexual abuse, family, bishop and stake presidency didn't believe me and did nothing. This even though l had been faithful a all my young life. Progress is something.
@@phoenixrising5338 l hear that.
Love the term "shelf breaker"! Could you aim your intellect at the Urim and Thummim stories, the "witness" also?
I’m getting this ad about science and faith in the church align. They do not. Also, I am drunk
I recommend John Delins video " They've known all along" powerful!!
The conditional love just confirmed to me that I am making the right choice. Also the scripture says “If ye love me, keep my commandments” That’s a weird interpretation! I’ve focused on having a relationship with my Savior and not religion. My experience is He is perfect, full of love and full of GRACE! He’s so full of grace. The church breeds perfectionism. He’s so much bigger than we can comprehend and His love is infinite and unconditional!
The abuse one absolutely pisses me off that Scott did! I was 3 and 11. Shame is so corrosive! I already felt a sense of shame even though I was the one victimized!
Unconditional love is not something Mormons understand or can frankly comprehend.
Love the candle!! A thing to note, that I don't think is a problem in this instance, but is something to keep in mind when thinking about naming any enterprise after heathenry: though historically a broad word, 'heathen' has started in modern times becoming associated specifically with norse paganism, and atheist use of the term can make it harder for norse pagans to find content for their own community.
Again, I don't think there's anything wrong with naming a candle 'heathen' in this context, especially if you don't mind that people might use it in witchcraft sometimes :P but I figure it's good for people to know this so they don't say, name a podcast or the like using 'heathen' and get surprised when a bunch of norse pagans show up in their comments
Why should I have unconditional love and worship for a god who couldn’t do the same? I’ve been an atheist for a long time now, but now I’m taking a stance that even if the Mormon god were true, he wouldn’t be deserving of my love or worship
Pay your tithing, pay it always, otherwise you are not faithful.
What?! Money and faith are very opposite items, but they are always linked together as spiritual work......
Old testament law. Not new testament.
Thank you for making these videos! What camera do you use? What program do you use for post processing?
The church often talks abouts how time is running out or time is short or the time is almost upon us when such and such bad thing will happen and I am reminded of how Scams, like phone, text or email scams will often create a sense of urgency to try to limit the potintail victims ability to think rationally
The talk that did it for me was M Russel Ballard's 2014 "Stay in the Boat and Hold On!" Don't get off the good ship Zion.
It didn't make me leave, but I listened to it and I felt really unsettled. I just thought it was such a dumb thing to say to literally anyone. Like, people don't jump off the boat unless they've exhausted all their other options. I still think about this talk 5 years after leaving.
Or the quiet evolution of the D&C Word of Wisdom in which the original exhortation that "again, strong drink is not for the stomach but for the washing of the body" construed somehow to include coffe, and yet not caffeinated soft drinks (Mt Dew is the official drink of UT). And it is almost impossible to find a version any more that includes "meat is not to be eaten except in times of winter or famine." Oops, let's change that on the DL as everyone likes a Crown Burger.
Their use of fear [in those quotes you shared] is not unlike what many cults do. Cults never lead to contentment.
I remember years ago one conference oaks called out the "so-called childfree" women. That boiled my blood. Motherhood is used as a weapon against woman and it pisses me off.
I love children & Im the oldest of 10. So I had two 😅 Even sunshine burns if you get too much
I was born into an atheist family and am one myself even though my parents were always pro me learning about religions and cults and making my own decisions about this stuff.
So these videos are extremely interesting to me and at the same time completely bonkers. I can't imagine how someone can actually believe in all of this stuff to be honest.
Oh man. Those quotes are horrific. 😬😬
1:17 this sounds great. Only in the US unfortunately.
I'm so sorry
I think the victim blaming one is actually even a bit more manipulative than you suggested. This is because it is also gonna sound similar to how some people may try to recognize their own issues in situations that are more legitimatily mroe complicated and work on it but it does so that also makes them at fault for what isnt their fault. Even in situations where both parties are at fault, and both are a victim, their advice is gonna be punishing both of those with a false I am trying to help myself not be a victim mentality for things they couldnt control
What's the difference between the Mormon "Proclamation On the Family" and the Georgia Guide Stones?
...yeah, I noticed something was REALLY off when Kevin G. Hamilton was parroting the "God's Love Has Limits" Bob the Tomato meme in his own words. Not to mention, there seemed to be a bit of double-talk when he says something along the lines of "it's okay to find your true self, but only God knows your REAL self". That's like saying "You don't REALLY want a job in the world of engineering, and be better off. You want to work at a burger joint, because I-er, God said so."
...also, one guy earlier in that same conference literally said the phrase "We need roots to have wings." Poor metaphor, even though that one guy was talking about family history.
The 2009 talk by Richard G. Scott is really nothing more than a reaffirmation of his talk from April General Conference 1992. I showed my NeverMo Sister who's also an expert on Child Abuse that talk and she was appalled. Also in regard to Ballard's Where will you go talk, I made a meme of him and New Zealand PM and ExMo Jacinda Ardern. It says
Ballard: "If you leave this Church where will you go? What will you do?"
Jacinda: "I will lead a nation onward ever onward, and they will glory in my name!"🤣🤣😂😂
Your hair 😍😍 how you do that
I have tutorials on my TikTok!
Hi Lex! I love your channel, even though I am in no way Mormon or use to be. I have spent sometime at the church my ex bestfriend and another good friend who I am still friends with are Mormon. My question is why would a church create their own alphabet? I had no idea they had their own.
Never heard of this, and I've studied the church for decades. Please explain.
@@stephtimms1776 At the beginning of the video when Lex talks about her candles. She explains that the writing on the candle is in Desseret Alphabet. I was curious too cause I have never heard of it either 🤷♀️
I had several books in the deseret alphabet. I passed them on to my son 20 years ago. Brigham had grandiose plans of creating a deseret nation- and it failed. The alphabet was taught at the University of Utah in the early days. It was an interesting attempt to find a common alphabet for the incoming foreign convert.
@@blairadams9418 Oh very interesting, thanks so much for answering my question.
it looks like a cross between Greek and Norse runes to me, and like half the letters are just inverted copies of each other
I am not Mormon, but seems to me if I had given 10 percent of my income over the years, to support such an organization that perpetuates what I would now realize as a fraud, I would be hiring an attorney, and suing to get my tithe back. Imagine if that grew and became a movement, with many former members doing the same. You could bring that organization down fast.
Yeah but they’re smart about it. It’s not technically required to give tithing, but are pressured into it, so they can go to the temple and have their perfect afterlife with their family. And because it’s a ‘church’ it is seen as a donation, rather than paying your in.
@@rae6857 Yeah, but it's all based on lies... For example, they say that if you pay your tithing regularly, God will bless you tenfold (or something like that). So I think that anybody who can show that they haven't been blessed at all after a significant length of time should be entitled to a refund. But (of course) we live in a society where corporations can masquerade as religions, bypass all of the laws, and rip everyone off as much as they possibly can without consequence.
9:18 "do it now. Time is running out." ...Nelson sounds like a sleazy, high pressure salesman.
In reflection I've decided that most of the mistreatment that so many TBM inflict upon those who leave is the result of the common thinking by true believing Mormons that if those who leave are actually allowed to succeed and be happy it is a direct threat. For this reason TBM must engage in all kinds of unchristian behavior to make those that leave miserable so that it reinforces what the church teaches. If those who leave actually win in life that's a big problem.
I know who I am. I know my worth. And I will not negotiate that with any person or organization.
I heard Mormons talk about hoods,what does that mean? Anyone know?
I am 70 ish. The miracle of forgiveness ruined my life. It's only the last few years I found out what was really going on. Do the leaders even have a heart? I don't think so!
It is about hypnotic suggestions of greed LD$ doesn't care about the chad daybells making them money. Until of course they're caught
I never heard about unconditional love in the church, I was taught by missionaries that it was conditional and one can lose their status in the church. Along with losing blessings, and even that God could turn his back on a person if they "fall too far".
Can't help if they tailor their teachings to converts based on their cultural background / values structures.
I've heard it and felt it many times, the unconditional love of God and of members in the Church. I've also been shunned at times, but that happens out of the church too.
@@stephtimms1776 That's nice, but that's not what I'm talking about nor care about.
I'm talking about different missionaries teaching conflict things based on the cultural background of someone they are teaching.
IE telling @ExmoLex that love is unconditional because that's a common practise in America, while others tell me (Anglo Indian with a strong Hindu culture and background) that love is highly conditional and God will disown or punish those who fail to meet the standards of the church, much like a child is disowned (or killed) for marrying someone of a lower caste / eloping.
In other words, catering the message to the predisposition of the person in order to get them to join.
I left because the church wasnt what I was told it would be, among other things.
@@diamonddavemctv Much of how we understand God's message is how we look at it or frame it. God gives us commandments to bless our lives. It's like a teen who wants to take drugs that could be laced with Fentanyl , wanting to believe it is good for him, when really it isn't. The way the teen frames it will determine when he realizes his parent is trying to help him succeed in life by discouraging it.
@@stephtimms1776 I love the lame analogy, like you think Ive never heard of this before.
Point being, your perspective is not universal nor applicable to all.
What about eunuchs?
There was never a conference talk that broke my shelf, but it used to really make me feel bad to hear general authorities quote famous lines from historical figures and writers, with slight changes, and the Mormons would attribute the plagiarize quote to the apostle. Just about every inspirational quote that Mormons contribute to an apostle from a General Conference talk is so plagiarized, and they even frequently admit this in the Ensign Conference issue, but Mormons always use the apostle's rip off quote, and give credit to him, on all their artworks, talks, articles, and church talks. Just use the original inspirational quote with the proper credit given.
One thing I don't understand is the church talk about these things. I thought the church want to be supportive. I'm a member of the lds church and I feel that I am a women trapped in a man body. Am I going crazy or what?
the longer you stay in an organization that needs you to be something else you will go crazy... the church will only be supportive of narcissists that aspire to be gods.