1. Money, 2. In-laws and boundaries, 3. Kids, 4. Religion are four things you need to be in agreement on if you dont want to struggle in your marriage. This was a great episode. Thanks for sharing!
I talked finances on the first date with this woman I just started seeing. She asked me what's a big turn off for me. I said a girl that's fiscally irresponsible and can't manage money. She told me later that she want's to buy her next car used and in cash. I think I found a good one!!!!!
Or you found one that can manipulate you based upon how you answered her question. Seriously pay attention to her behavior in the future, not just what she says.
Yes ma'am! A lot of people don't think along those lines so they'll probably be surprised by you having your stuff together, but ultimately finding out things like that will save both your time and theirs
I used to ask this on the first date all the time. They were all one date wonders until my husband. We discussed in depth and we’ve been on the same page since day one. 8 years later we’re still together and in a great financial position. I say ask right away especially if it’s important to you.
Look, everyone just stop dating. Start intentionally dating. It saves you time. Ask the tough questions early. Don't waste three years just to find out it won't work 😂😥
@Anne Day they are two completely different things. One can make your life much better and help reach your goal sooner. The other wastes years of your life and leads to countless problems. So yes, I stand by the wording lol
@Anne Day yes. You are being very literal on RUclips. Not necessary. Annoying. But not wrong! Lol. Everyone else got the point lady. And it's a good point. The two are completely different. They aren't the same at all.
@Anne Day and just because you say you have no argument doesn't mean you aren't trying to make your argument lol. Because you are. And you're argument us lame.
@LNY yes! I guess someone can intentionally date for something else but I don't think most people care. I think it really saves emotional Heath the most. Time is very important too! More important for women. Very good for men.
@Anne Day You aren't doing anything morally wrong by any means, but if you choose to be contrary over things of little consequence, it would be puzzling if you were surprised by an adverse reaction. By doing so, you are breaking social norms and are naturally going to run into friction.
I think conversations like these should naturally come up if you’re both interested in each other and feel compatible. Money is an important everyday tool that is part of all of our lives and as a couple gets to know each other it should be something that is naturally discussed as a result of being interested in potentially committing to the other person.
And a dating app. They could call it "Rice, beans, and living within your means together". I'm sure their marketing people can do better, that's why I'm not in marketing lol
Nah, the personalities are all wet noodles who say whatever they think Dave wants them to. Dave's advice and wisdom are the best guidance, even if they don't provide an exact answer to every particular situation.
I just asked this to Google using your name yesterday. Didnt find a answer. Glad to see this. If she doesn't follow God AND Dave she not the one. Eliminates alot if not everyone.
Immediately ask about this stuff and proceed forward. At least you know and your not wasting your time. 1. Money 2. In laws who raised this person. Can you see yourself tolerating this person 3. Kids that talk 4. Religion beliefs
dont forget politics. a libertarian like me that believes in the NAP isnt going to get along with an authoritarian socialist like a Bernie supporter. on one date a girl started talking about wanting to ban all guns, i walked out and never spoke to her again. first off that position just shows that the person isnt very smart, secondly its an authoritarian position that requires extreme force to be implemented, and it would still fail in a country with 423m guns
I think religious beliefs should be swapped out for politics as to people are more inclined to crash over these topics. Someone who believes in deportation vs someone who believes in free movement will always have arguments and never truly understand you. Religion would only be discussed if your dating someone who’s family are really religious or if they come from a culture/upbringing of religion, otherwise there’s no reason to talk about it unless your both interested in knowing ones opinions. I’m not religious at all and it doesn’t concern if someone’s religious or not.
Hey, if a guy/gal can ask you for a loan or to put them on your cell phone plan two weeks into the relationship, I can ask for your financial status just as quickly.
Marriages are not about love. It's about learning how to survive in co op mode. You don't have kids out of love, you have kids for impulse. It's good love is not the main advocate here. It's fiscal, down to earth. Talk about finance. Of course love is a major factor, but you can love anything. Does that mean you have to marry it?
For my wife and me, it was a long phone call between our first and second date. How much debt? Any student loans? Any car payments? Great foundation! Married over 12 years and still going strong. :)
My philosophy is that if you have some sort of savings, investments, or property you do not let your significant other know the full extent of it UNTIL you get married. What's more important is knowing any and all outstanding debts, and having a trial period seeing how much they are contributing financially before the marriage to estimate how much they will contribute after. Also, if both sides have no debt, you are in good shape, no matter your educational or work experience.
Husband and I talked about finances, politics, theology, even BEFORE dating, by the time we were dating we already knew enough and got married within a year of knowing each other.
As soon as one or both start thinking the other might be the one, which takes time. Prior to that, it's your personal business, not the other person's.
By the third date. I can see the arguments for and have been in situations where it felt weird to ask before that point. However, you don't want to wait too long or you will waste your time. There isn't a more valuable resource out there than time.
I asked indirect questions that are mindset related. And I freely share mine. Mindset and attitude are the key. When they are right, the action that follows won’t veer off course too far. Typically people who think about the future are more disciplined about finance. Here and now type and stuck in past habit type are hard to financial reform.
By or around the third date. You're probably physically and emotionally engaged but not fully invested. Great time to splash a little cold water on things by having ALL the difficult conversations. Debt status, serious health history, family baggage, religion, and social issues. These are the subjects that you can't realistically "get over", hide, or fake it and expect to have a healthy long-term relationship.
@@bobbyweirddick6556 I thought about including that but just chucked it under "social issues". But you're right, modern feminism isn't a social issue, it's a political agenda.
I feel like fairly early on within the first few dates you can bring up that it's really important to you to be responsible with money or you can drop in there that you're trying to pay off your debts as quickly as you can and you're excited for being debt-free etc. And if you drop it casually into conversation that you can kind of see what their response is and then gradually take that conversation to a more serious level
Dana from the Hot and Crazy Matrix tells people to write down a list of 10 things that each person asks the other during the second date to not spend time in a relationship that won’t work out. Nothing is off the table and everything has to be answered honestly
Years ago had a girl ask me once on the first or second date on my goals to moving into a house. We met because I did finances for a business so she knew I was good with budgeting. At the time my house reply was "whenever my income was better." as I just generally don't like talking personal finances in the first month because your dating me not my wallet and vice-versa. Granted we only made it two months before it broke down something else killed it, but I wish I took her more seriously she was asking questions like Dave is bringing up. When it came to finances lesson learned she would of been a keeper she had goals.
I had a lady approach me in a sports bar and asked me where I worked. I replied by introducing myself and asked for her name. She still insisted that I tell her my line of work. So I told her I was a Garbage truck driver. She laughed and bragged about her PhD and how she travelers the world and walked away from me never giving her name. I will never forget that bit&#.
Pay attention to little things too, not just how someone responds when asked. E.g. My husband intentionally puts his SMALL bills showing in his wallet, covering the bigger ones, because he doesn’t want to draw attention or theft. (Not that he goes around will Benjamin’s anyway.) But this helped confirm that he wasn’t some guy who was going to waste money trying to impress others.
After you got some and more. When it starts to turn Into a serious relationship, that's when you pop the Financial question. Plus hopefully you know what that person does for living to kinda get an idea if they are Financially responsible within the first 6 months of knowing that person
Early in the dating game my now husband paid off his grandma's tv in cash. He told me he didnt have a credit card that's why he carried cash. Those 2 statements told me everything I needed. Of course my wallet of 6 credit cards and 15k in student loans oh and the car loan was probably a reason he should have ran.
@@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem in the process of saving 70k for a down payment on a house. In addition to step 2 and 3 being done. We did pause step 4 and 5 for 14 months to get this 70k but we r only 32 so we got time.
Just ask her on the first date how much debt she has and if she’s on rice and beans beans and rice. If she doesn’t know Dave Ramsey just tell her “I’m going to the bathroom” and leave
I think you start to get an idea about people's finances at first meeting. Not by asking straight out, but by hearing about how they spend their time, things they value, and maybe even challenges they've faced as you get to know them. Those things are all being taken into consideration as you get to know each other and like each other. If you don't naturally start to share more financial information, that in itself is a deal breaker to me. Actual numbers can wait a while, but key foundational goals and beliefs should start coming to light pretty much immediately from the time you decide you want to go past an initial friendship.
My boyfriend and I start to speak about money when we started to think in moved together, and now it’s a very day conversation. And I finished a relationship because the guy did not pay his bills on time
Early on, within the first few months, ideally before you fall in love. It will make a split easier if there are fundamental differences. Me and my boyfriend talked about kids on our 3rd date even though we were 18
Before you get married or have a fiancé, you should both show each other your Credit Karma and Experian accounts that way you'll both know how much debt you each are in. If one hesitates to show theirs, that's not a good sign
From my experience, I can usually feel my way into natural conversations about the topic. After a few dates, and after we have the exclusive relationship discussion. You will know, like if she pays cash for everything or gets bothered about financial conversions. Once she gets comfortable, she will tell you all her business lol. Naturally I watch how she carries herself, like does she pay her bills, is her car paid for and her feelings about debt etc. You will know... trust me!
Depends on the age. If you real young 18 to 26 it be about 3 months to 6 months to find out 27 to 36 age within 3 months 40 to 50 age. We dont have much time 51 to 65 age What you got . 401k IRA Home paid off Need all information for retirement 65 and 80, who cares 80 and over, you living in a nursing home or with your grand kids . Doesn't matter anymore I'm just saying
It's good to discuss the most important subjects early but with a little get-to-know-you time up front. If those first experiences go well enough, you can have those "deeper" conversations with some level of comfort and frankness. I wouldn't want those conversations to feel like a job interview.
#5 on the list of things to agree on is politics, or the major aspects anyway... ive been on first dates and the girl starts talking about wanting to ban all guns and i walk out and never speak to her again. a libertarian leaning person isnt going to be able to marry a socialist and get along. our world views are fundamentally different. they literally have a brain thats wired differently.
@thespiritbomb where did i insult anyone? even if i did, is it immoral to call out authoritarianism? i think not... if someone says something so foolish as "we should ban all guns" i dont have time for them. it proves they lack objectivity and the basic logic of getting knowledge of both sides of the subject before formulating an opinion. a statement like that also shows they are willingly to vote for government force to be used against formerly innocent gun owners. obviously im not going to marry a blatant big government authoritarian. if thats insulting then so be it.
@Transport King Facts! Never trust something you can't throw at least 5 feet. And with all the weight women put on now, it's impossible to throw them over 5 feet.
Well, it's gonna be an awkward question to ask about finance but it is a dating stage which part of what we called " getting to know each other" Good thing we don't have any student loan or any debt after graduated in my country...
@@2HootHoot some credit cards have your credit score available to view in their online app. Easy access to it. Oh and don't worry about carrying a card because if you're responsible you pay that sucker every week or as soon as transactions post. Use only a rewards card that pays cash back annually and be an adult with the card and pay it down and never, ever carry a balance.
If he is aware and alert to her spending habits, he won’t need to ask. It comes down asking indirect questions that expose her values, morals and ethics. Does she live beyond her means? How does she manage money? Does she have debt? And if she does, how did she acquire it? None of these are difficult if the man properly vets her for compatibility.
This is all very well in theory but all one's partner has to do IS LIE - how can you possibly prove he's telling the truth???? There's absolutely NO FEASIBLE WAY of finding out whether someone's deeply in debt or being hounded by bailiffs for non-payment of spousal support/mortgage/bills etc unless they outright tell you so - and they don't. Silly of you, Dave, to think everyone is as honest and truthful as you are.
When he means religion? Does he mean that we both have to have the same religious beliefs? Like if I am catholic the other should be as well? Because I’m not really a religious person but my fiancé is and we both respect each other’s beliefs.
I think by that he just means you need to be on the same page. For example in your scenario she shouldn't try to force you to be more religious if you don't want to be and vice versa.
I would think 🤔 the conversation would naturally come up when you start discussing your future and what each of you want then the finances would flow and you will each have a discussion about how much debt each of you have/don’t have and if one is a SAVER and the other is a SPENDER and only lives for TODAY then that’s certainly a red flag 🚩!!
Me and my last date literally talked about Dave Ramsay (and Robert Kiyusaki, etc) on our first date...and we were both stoked about it 😂 but then we didn't agree on some real important spiritual stuff 😥
I asked this woman on a date, how much she made and what’s her credit score lol also asked how much debt she had. She was shocked at first but then was like turned on by it weird, I told her I follow Dave Ramsey and she said oh okay I have heard of him, and that was that.
Honestly, if a date arrived in a shiny new truck on a lift kit, I would just keep driving 😂. My boyfriend was driving a paid for vehicle as old as mine and I was smitten 🎉
"It's worth what you paid for it." hahaha... Seeing as how the guy probably did not pay anything to call or email the question in... Your advice is worth more than that Dave.
I lost it and burst out laughing when Dave Ramsey said YOLO. I hope to watch him say things like RAD, Awesome sauce, thingy, ROFL, and call someone Simp in his other videos, haha.
I would start talking about finances on the first date 🌝 Let’s not waste each other time and wait months, come to find out you have completely different views on finances. 🤭
As a millennial all you have to ask someone is what they do for a living and where they went to college then you can just google the amount of student debt they have for their chosen profession. Marry a doctor you say? Not if I have to help pay your 500k student debt
If you make it to date 4 with someone, financial habits should be discussed at that point. I think you waste time otherwise. 🤷🏾♀️ My husband and I did it on our first date. ❤️
Why are so many of the men in the comments such creeps? So y’all love Dave Ramsey’s financial advice but don’t listen to anything he says about marriage or God (the source of his wisdom)?! Smh Try being a God-fearing man and you’ll find a God-fearing woman, not one who is out to get you
Never. Because there is no upside to getting married (especially if you are a man) so your partners finances are of no concern to you. Just make sure they can afford to split meals, trips, household expenses (if you decide to live together), and other entertainment.
Let me answer that before I even watch...the first date! You can tell by where he takes you. NOT the first dinner, but the first fun time out together. Let me see how I did...
The religion thing is harder, because either one or both could make different decisions down the line. But yeah, I guess if you're just dating for fun, why even bring it up! Dating for fun...? What a concept. lol
I actually dont like women that only want you for your money, the day you go broke is the day she leaves you . Your almost like a replaceable, disposable ATM. There also has to be genuine love. Girl you can put a ring on Benjamin Franklin or Ulysses Grant.
The day you go broke is the day she leaves you, because she will get minimum 75% of whatever you have. A woman doesn't marry you for your money, she divorces you for it. Zero upside to marriage for a man.
bhs as a female, even I can agree with you, when it comes to a lot of women. They don’t date men 20+ years older than them for nothing. A lot is about money these days and it’s something else
If you are looking to talk brass tax on income, debt, savings, investments, retirement, etc.. you better have all your ducks in a row and lined up on paper to show your responsibility before even asking your potential life partner to share their information.
My date ordered shrimp and expensive drinks. her portion came out to 70 mine came out to 30. , she didn't even at least offer to pay .. i think she doesnt know hot to handle money or wants a free meal..btw she never called me back after that
Get life-changing financial advice anytime, anywhere. Subscribe today: ruclips.net/user/TheDaveRamseyShow
Before you marry, have serious discussions & seek agreement on four areas: 1) Finances, 2) In-laws, 3) Children, 4) Spirituality.
I think that's a good framework. I'm curious as to what you consider "agreement" on spirituality? Just out of curiosity.
Apologies, I was browsing comments whilst watching the video so hadn't gotten to that part yet
😂.
Not spirituality if you’re atheist !
1. Money, 2. In-laws and boundaries, 3. Kids, 4. Religion are four things you need to be in agreement on if you dont want to struggle in your marriage. This was a great episode. Thanks for sharing!
Boundaries yesss
Hey i'm single and lives in the woods? no kids some religion. lets get married ? A
Well done. In fact, I consider any couple married if they manage to agree on all of those things.
100 b4 married
Dates yolos... they had no money no future
I talked finances on the first date with this woman I just started seeing. She asked me what's a big turn off for me. I said a girl that's fiscally irresponsible and can't manage money. She told me later that she want's to buy her next car used and in cash. I think I found a good one!!!!!
Or you found one that can manipulate you based upon how you answered her question. Seriously pay attention to her behavior in the future, not just what she says.
@@anthonywaldrep5982 I'll keep an 👁 out bro!
Sounds like most of y'all have bad experiences with women lol
That’s a good start
@@Irish_all_day Or we have seen too many bros get destroyed by "good girls".
I don't date just to date. I date with the purpose of getting married, so I ask major questions early in the relationship, including money questions.
Floreine-Jemima Joseph Wish there were more girls with this kind of genuine, loving as well as financially literate way of thinking🙌🏻
Yes ma'am! A lot of people don't think along those lines so they'll probably be surprised by you having your stuff together, but ultimately finding out things like that will save both your time and theirs
What kind of questions
Like Dr. Balogna says, dating is about gathering data.
Thanks for that great bit of advise Dr. Delony!
I am the exact same way. I'm not here to waste their time, and I don't want them wasting mine.
If you ask how they are, and they say, "Better than I deserve", definitely a keeper
The quicker you ask the less time you waste
well said
3 months. You should be able to ask about all of your deal breakers within 3 months.
If she orders rice and beans on the first date she’s a keeper
Or maybe she just like rice and beans
Amen😁
Pahaahahah
Or she's a vegetarian on a strict diet.
🤣
This would be something I would discuss within a month.
@Transport King
I've been married for over twenty years, but my background is completely clean.
I used to ask this on the first date all the time. They were all one date wonders until my husband. We discussed in depth and we’ve been on the same page since day one. 8 years later we’re still together and in a great financial position. I say ask right away especially if it’s important to you.
Look, everyone just stop dating. Start intentionally dating. It saves you time. Ask the tough questions early. Don't waste three years just to find out it won't work 😂😥
@Anne Day they are two completely different things. One can make your life much better and help reach your goal sooner. The other wastes years of your life and leads to countless problems. So yes, I stand by the wording lol
@Anne Day yes. You are being very literal on RUclips. Not necessary. Annoying. But not wrong! Lol. Everyone else got the point lady. And it's a good point. The two are completely different. They aren't the same at all.
@Anne Day and just because you say you have no argument doesn't mean you aren't trying to make your argument lol. Because you are. And you're argument us lame.
@LNY yes! I guess someone can intentionally date for something else but I don't think most people care. I think it really saves emotional Heath the most. Time is very important too! More important for women. Very good for men.
@Anne Day You aren't doing anything morally wrong by any means, but if you choose to be contrary over things of little consequence, it would be puzzling if you were surprised by an adverse reaction. By doing so, you are breaking social norms and are naturally going to run into friction.
Dating can be very “superficial”. People are setting out to make a good impression on both side. It’s best to open up these conversations early on.
Imagine Dave giving dating advice on a new show. "The Date Ramsey Show"
Sawautha pen 15
Catchy!
I would absolutely watch!!
I don't date I've been married once before and I don't play the dating game I'm straight to the point and it worked.
I think conversations like these should naturally come up if you’re both interested in each other and feel compatible. Money is an important everyday tool that is part of all of our lives and as a couple gets to know each other it should be something that is naturally discussed as a result of being interested in potentially committing to the other person.
I'd say 2nd or 3rd date. Mention it lightly.
We need a debt free dating app or site. Because I don’t want to end up marrying into debt. I want to build wealth
Dont get married... wooosh
I think the Ramsey team has a social group for debt free singles.
Then make one
You may be on to something here...
Im 42 and having the time of my life being single. I see everyone else with kids and the reality is they hate them. Its true....
the Ramsey team needs a "dating guy"
Panzernator George Kamel!
Ooo.... That would be a good segment. "Money and Love"
And a dating app. They could call it "Rice, beans, and living within your means together".
I'm sure their marketing people can do better, that's why I'm not in marketing lol
They would just get a simp.
Nah, the personalities are all wet noodles who say whatever they think Dave wants them to. Dave's advice and wisdom are the best guidance, even if they don't provide an exact answer to every particular situation.
I just asked this to Google using your name yesterday. Didnt find a answer. Glad to see this. If she doesn't follow God AND Dave she not the one. Eliminates alot if not everyone.
You can learn a lot from casual conversation. If you don't have some idea or inkling after just a few dates, then you aren't really dating.
Immediately ask about this stuff and proceed forward. At least you know and your not wasting your time.
1. Money
2. In laws who raised this person. Can you see yourself tolerating this person
3. Kids that talk
4. Religion beliefs
dont forget politics. a libertarian like me that believes in the NAP isnt going to get along with an authoritarian socialist like a Bernie supporter.
on one date a girl started talking about wanting to ban all guns, i walked out and never spoke to her again. first off that position just shows that the person isnt very smart, secondly its an authoritarian position that requires extreme force to be implemented, and it would still fail in a country with 423m guns
I think religious beliefs should be swapped out for politics as to people are more inclined to crash over these topics. Someone who believes in deportation vs someone who believes in free movement will always have arguments and never truly understand you.
Religion would only be discussed if your dating someone who’s family are really religious or if they come from a culture/upbringing of religion, otherwise there’s no reason to talk about it unless your both interested in knowing ones opinions. I’m not religious at all and it doesn’t concern if someone’s religious or not.
@@bobbyweirddick6556 i agree. a libertarian isnt going to get along with a socialist wife
Hey, if a guy/gal can ask you for a loan or to put them on your cell phone plan two weeks into the relationship, I can ask for your financial status just as quickly.
Yep. Or "I need help paying the power bill" when she has three jobs.
Is there a dating app for Dave Ramsey fans? I'd join.
I’ve been saying this for a minute
It's called real life and having conversations
I said this on Chris Hogan podcast yesterday.
I’ll be up for it.
No, but he's said people have met through his forum.
Marriages are not about love. It's about learning how to survive in co op mode. You don't have kids out of love, you have kids for impulse. It's good love is not the main advocate here. It's fiscal, down to earth. Talk about finance. Of course love is a major factor, but you can love anything. Does that mean you have to marry it?
When you’re friends first!
Thinking of engagement or staying together long term
For my wife and me, it was a long phone call between our first and second date. How much debt? Any student loans? Any car payments? Great foundation! Married over 12 years and still going strong. :)
Details Ryan. Now we wanna know about the call
Are you Amish people or Jehovah witness?
@@michaelargenta3856 we are neither of those groups. We both grew up knowing Jesus, and we still know where provision comes from.
My philosophy is that if you have some sort of savings, investments, or property you do not let your significant other know the full extent of it UNTIL you get married. What's more important is knowing any and all outstanding debts, and having a trial period seeing how much they are contributing financially before the marriage to estimate how much they will contribute after.
Also, if both sides have no debt, you are in good shape, no matter your educational or work experience.
Husband and I talked about finances, politics, theology, even BEFORE dating, by the time we were dating we already knew enough and got married within a year of knowing each other.
Not everyone are friends before dating
As soon as one or both start thinking the other might be the one, which takes time. Prior to that, it's your personal business, not the other person's.
By the third date. I can see the arguments for and have been in situations where it felt weird to ask before that point. However, you don't want to wait too long or you will waste your time. There isn't a more valuable resource out there than time.
I asked indirect questions that are mindset related. And I freely share mine. Mindset and attitude are the key. When they are right, the action that follows won’t veer off course too far. Typically people who think about the future are more disciplined about finance. Here and now type and stuck in past habit type are hard to financial reform.
By or around the third date. You're probably physically and emotionally engaged but not fully invested. Great time to splash a little cold water on things by having ALL the difficult conversations.
Debt status, serious health history, family baggage, religion, and social issues. These are the subjects that you can't realistically "get over", hide, or fake it and expect to have a healthy long-term relationship.
yamamancha not bad advice. I would ask them what kind of politics their into. If their a feminist that’s a real deal breaker for me.
@@bobbyweirddick6556 I thought about including that but just chucked it under "social issues". But you're right, modern feminism isn't a social issue, it's a political agenda.
I feel like fairly early on within the first few dates you can bring up that it's really important to you to be responsible with money or you can drop in there that you're trying to pay off your debts as quickly as you can and you're excited for being debt-free etc.
And if you drop it casually into conversation that you can kind of see what their response is and then gradually take that conversation to a more serious level
immediately. I;m out if you have a mountain of debt
That is why I agree immediately
Johnny Five have you tried that before? If so, tell us how it went.
Dana from the Hot and Crazy Matrix tells people to write down a list of 10 things that each person asks the other during the second date to not spend time in a relationship that won’t work out. Nothing is off the table and everything has to be answered honestly
I disagree. Maybe a year in. You can’t rush these things I’m afraid it’s like a business.
Years ago had a girl ask me once on the first or second date on my goals to moving into a house. We met because I did finances for a business so she knew I was good with budgeting. At the time my house reply was "whenever my income was better." as I just generally don't like talking personal finances in the first month because your dating me not my wallet and vice-versa.
Granted we only made it two months before it broke down something else killed it, but I wish I took her more seriously she was asking questions like Dave is bringing up. When it came to finances lesson learned she would of been a keeper she had goals.
I had a lady approach me in a sports bar and asked me where I worked. I replied by introducing myself and asked for her name. She still insisted that I tell her my line of work. So I told her I was a Garbage truck driver. She laughed and bragged about her PhD and how she travelers the world and walked away from me never giving her name. I will never forget that bit&#.
PHD: post hole digger
She was drunk...I hope. 😕
@@sglacf LoL
sounds like you dodged a bullet
So are you really a garbage truck driver?
Pay attention to little things too, not just how someone responds when asked. E.g. My husband intentionally puts his SMALL bills showing in his wallet, covering the bigger ones, because he doesn’t want to draw attention or theft. (Not that he goes around will Benjamin’s anyway.) But this helped confirm that he wasn’t some guy who was going to waste money trying to impress others.
After you got some and more. When it starts to turn Into a serious relationship, that's when you pop the Financial question.
Plus hopefully you know what that person does for living to kinda get an idea if they are Financially responsible within the first 6 months of knowing that person
Early in the dating game my now husband paid off his grandma's tv in cash. He told me he didnt have a credit card that's why he carried cash. Those 2 statements told me everything I needed. Of course my wallet of 6 credit cards and 15k in student loans oh and the car loan was probably a reason he should have ran.
so did you change and become financially responsible?
@@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem in the process of saving 70k for a down payment on a house. In addition to step 2 and 3 being done. We did pause step 4 and 5 for 14 months to get this 70k but we r only 32 so we got time.
@Sir We Are About to Die currently single right? Lol figures
@@jessg1372 awesome, congratulations. it sounds like you're on track for a good life.
Just ask her on the first date how much debt she has and if she’s on rice and beans beans and rice. If she doesn’t know Dave Ramsey just tell her “I’m going to the bathroom” and leave
I know many people in great financial shape who have no idea who Dave Ramsey is
I think you start to get an idea about people's finances at first meeting. Not by asking straight out, but by hearing about how they spend their time, things they value, and maybe even challenges they've faced as you get to know them. Those things are all being taken into consideration as you get to know each other and like each other. If you don't naturally start to share more financial information, that in itself is a deal breaker to me. Actual numbers can wait a while, but key foundational goals and beliefs should start coming to light pretty much immediately from the time you decide you want to go past an initial friendship.
My boyfriend and I start to speak about money when we started to think in moved together, and now it’s a very day conversation. And I finished a relationship because the guy did not pay his bills on time
Start when selecting the first restaurant and setting terms of who is paying what part.
Early on, within the first few months, ideally before you fall in love. It will make a split easier if there are fundamental differences. Me and my boyfriend talked about kids on our 3rd date even though we were 18
Wow, you have a 2020 Lexus? is it paid for? SELL THE CAR!
Before you get married or have a fiancé, you should both show each other your Credit Karma and Experian accounts that way you'll both know how much debt you each are in. If one hesitates to show theirs, that's not a good sign
Before you get married look at the mom when you meet her. She will be just like that --- thanks dad:) .
From my experience, I can usually feel my way into natural conversations about the topic. After a few dates, and after we have the exclusive relationship discussion. You will know, like if she pays cash for everything or gets bothered about financial conversions. Once she gets comfortable, she will tell you all her business lol. Naturally I watch how she carries herself, like does she pay her bills, is her car paid for and her feelings about debt etc. You will know... trust me!
Depends on the age.
If you real young 18 to 26 it be about 3 months to 6 months to find out
27 to 36 age within 3 months
40 to 50 age. We dont have much time
51 to 65 age
What you got .
401k
IRA
Home paid off
Need all information for retirement
65 and 80, who cares
80 and over, you living in a nursing home or with your grand kids . Doesn't matter anymore
I'm just saying
you made me laugh
It's good to discuss the most important subjects early but with a little get-to-know-you time up front. If those first experiences go well enough, you can have those "deeper" conversations with some level of comfort and frankness. I wouldn't want those conversations to feel like a job interview.
#5 on the list of things to agree on is politics, or the major aspects anyway...
ive been on first dates and the girl starts talking about wanting to ban all guns and i walk out and never speak to her again.
a libertarian leaning person isnt going to be able to marry a socialist and get along. our world views are fundamentally different. they literally have a brain thats wired differently.
@thespiritbomb where did i insult anyone? even if i did, is it immoral to call out authoritarianism? i think not... if someone says something so foolish as "we should ban all guns" i dont have time for them. it proves they lack objectivity and the basic logic of getting knowledge of both sides of the subject before formulating an opinion. a statement like that also shows they are willingly to vote for government force to be used against formerly innocent gun owners.
obviously im not going to marry a blatant big government authoritarian. if thats insulting then so be it.
The four things to agree on in marriage
1: Money
2: In Laws
3: Kids
4: Ideology
First date - when you ask her if she has the cash to cover the $200 bottle of wine she ordered ;)
Yep. I don't get this whole 'a man has to pay for first dates' thing. Just an easy way for women to eat on your dollar.
@Transport King Facts! Never trust something you can't throw at least 5 feet. And with all the weight women put on now, it's impossible to throw them over 5 feet.
bhs I hope you are packing and have a 6pack to match that ego of yours. You sound like such a catch
Katie Ribelle lol!
704ab have you been on a date where the woman ordered a $200 bottle of wine? If so where are you meeting these women?
Hearing Dave say "YOLO" made me do a double take 🤣
Well, it's gonna be an awkward question to ask about finance but it is a dating stage which part of what we called " getting to know each other"
Good thing we don't have any student loan or any debt after graduated in my country...
Lily Sam Very true Lily, people should discuss this period to getting into serious things. Also, quite happy about the no debt situation🙌🏻
Immediately
I think the question is its okay to ask someone youre dating how much money theyre making , its has its practicality and tell tale signs to be alert ,
Bring up hypothetical financial situations and see what their response is lol
This is a good one... I'm not one for games but I'd totally do this to see where their head is and their principles.
@Johnny Five You're gonna bring your credit report on all your first dates?
@@2HootHoot some credit cards have your credit score available to view in their online app.
Easy access to it. Oh and don't worry about carrying a card because if you're responsible you pay that sucker every week or as soon as transactions post. Use only a rewards card that pays cash back annually and be an adult with the card and pay it down and never, ever carry a balance.
If he is aware and alert to her spending habits, he won’t need to ask. It comes down asking indirect questions that expose her values, morals and ethics. Does she live beyond her means? How does she manage money? Does she have debt? And if she does, how did she acquire it? None of these are difficult if the man properly vets her for compatibility.
M - Money
I - In-laws
K- Kids
R - Religion
Religion Abortion Politics Economics
Politics.
Hahahaha it's hard! As soon as you talk about finance... Puffffff! 🤣
This is all very well in theory but all one's partner has to do IS LIE - how can you possibly prove he's telling the truth???? There's absolutely NO FEASIBLE WAY of finding out whether someone's deeply in debt or being hounded by bailiffs for non-payment of spousal support/mortgage/bills etc unless they outright tell you so - and they don't. Silly of you, Dave, to think everyone is as honest and truthful as you are.
Blessings from Taiwan ! 🇹🇼
Very important question. 🤓
Very good answer. 🤗
Hey fellow Taiwan resident here🤗🤗
David KinderTeacher Taiwan is beautiful!! Completely agree with you about the value;)
StyleGoals Harmony I love Taiwan😍
When he means religion? Does he mean that we both have to have the same religious beliefs? Like if I am catholic the other should be as well? Because I’m not really a religious person but my fiancé is and we both respect each other’s beliefs.
I think by that he just means you need to be on the same page. For example in your scenario she shouldn't try to force you to be more religious if you don't want to be and vice versa.
@@SuperDannyrulez oh okay got it. Than great because we respect each other’s beliefs even if I don’t go to church and she does.
I would think 🤔 the conversation would naturally come up when you start discussing your future and what each of you want then the finances would flow and you will each have a discussion about how much debt each of you have/don’t have and if one is a SAVER and the other is a SPENDER and only lives for TODAY then that’s certainly a red flag 🚩!!
Me and my last date literally talked about Dave Ramsay (and Robert Kiyusaki, etc) on our first date...and we were both stoked about it 😂 but then we didn't agree on some real important spiritual stuff 😥
Asking on the first date seems strange like you're a gold digger or something. Maybe no later than three weeks after meeting someone
Great question
I asked this woman on a date, how much she made and what’s her credit score lol also asked how much debt she had. She was shocked at first but then was like turned on by it weird, I told her I follow Dave Ramsey and she said oh okay I have heard of him, and that was that.
thespiritbomb not enough.
I told her though, because I was interested in her. We both made about the same amount.
Ramsey Dating Solutions!💛😁👍
Ask as early as possible. There is no point in dating somebody if you don't agree on things, unless it's just for fun
What about politics?
1 Hit Combo That falls under the category of religion for a lot of people. 😄👍
honey are a mega party... yes mam!!!
Honestly, if a date arrived in a shiny new truck on a lift kit, I would just keep driving 😂. My boyfriend was driving a paid for vehicle as old as mine and I was smitten 🎉
If you ask her what time she wants to be picked up for a first date and her response is “sell the car”, shes a keeper.
"It's worth what you paid for it." hahaha... Seeing as how the guy probably did not pay anything to call or email the question in... Your advice is worth more than that Dave.
I lost it and burst out laughing when Dave Ramsey said YOLO. I hope to watch him say things like RAD, Awesome sauce, thingy, ROFL, and call someone Simp in his other videos, haha.
If one is uncomfortable talking about finances during a Date, then one can communicate through writing or typing .
yes this is so true.; i agree
God is 1st, Period.
I can't get a date to save my life. But,this is good info to know.
IWillSurvive Hahaha relates quite nicely to your RUclips name😝
@@AndreyZenperial true
I would start talking about finances on the first date 🌝 Let’s not waste each other time and wait months, come to find out you have completely different views on finances. 🤭
Good points
Political opinions, could be seen as a fifth.
Yowza! Best advice ever!
As a millennial all you have to ask someone is what they do for a living and where they went to college then you can just google the amount of student debt they have for their chosen profession. Marry a doctor you say? Not if I have to help pay your 500k student debt
If you make it to date 4 with someone, financial habits should be discussed at that point. I think you waste time otherwise. 🤷🏾♀️
My husband and I did it on our first date. ❤️
Why are so many of the men in the comments such creeps? So y’all love Dave Ramsey’s financial advice but don’t listen to anything he says about marriage or God (the source of his wisdom)?! Smh
Try being a God-fearing man and you’ll find a God-fearing woman, not one who is out to get you
Never. Because there is no upside to getting married (especially if you are a man) so your partners finances are of no concern to you. Just make sure they can afford to split meals, trips, household expenses (if you decide to live together), and other entertainment.
Just get it out there maybe date 2. I wouldn’t recommend Dave Ramsey in no date 🤷🏽♀️😂😂
Let me answer that before I even watch...the first date! You can tell by where he takes you. NOT the first dinner, but the first fun time out together.
Let me see how I did...
The religion thing is harder, because either one or both could make different decisions down the line. But yeah, I guess if you're just dating for fun, why even bring it up! Dating for fun...? What a concept. lol
I actually dont like women that only want you for your money, the day you go broke is the day she leaves you . Your almost like a replaceable, disposable ATM. There also has to be genuine love. Girl you can put a ring on Benjamin Franklin or Ulysses Grant.
The day you go broke is the day she leaves you, because she will get minimum 75% of whatever you have. A woman doesn't marry you for your money, she divorces you for it. Zero upside to marriage for a man.
bhs as a female, even I can agree with you, when it comes to a lot of women. They don’t date men 20+ years older than them for nothing. A lot is about money these days and it’s something else
@@Tabatha13rox A woman with some intelligence. I like it!
If you are looking to talk brass tax on income, debt, savings, investments, retirement, etc.. you better have all your ducks in a row and lined up on paper to show your responsibility before even asking your potential life partner to share their information.
That's first date stuff
My date ordered shrimp and expensive drinks. her portion came out to 70 mine came out to 30. , she didn't even at least offer to pay .. i think she doesnt know hot to handle money or wants a free meal..btw she never called me back after that
A++ advise if you ask me! 💯
How about never combine your finances and never marry them, problem solved.
Dating? What's that? I have no life
If she asks you to pay for the uBer..
Red Flag! 😝
adios women