The Secret to Financial Success as a Couple...

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  • Опубликовано: 11 фев 2025
  • In this video, I’ll show you when to start talking about money with your partner, how financially successful couples talk about money without fighting, and if you should combine your finances. These are relationship goals every couple should have whether it's before or after marriage to have financial success as a couple.
    💬 Get free word-for-word scripts for navigating difficult topics: iwt.com/talkto...
    Ramit Sethi is the host of Netflix's "How To Get Rich" and New York Times bestselling author of "I Will Teach You To Be Rich"
    Find Ramit on Instagram: / ramit

Комментарии • 255

  • @docscrealities
    @docscrealities 11 месяцев назад +190

    Been married for 20 years. These conversations happened within dating 3-6 months, then after we moved in together, subsequently married. However, to this day, my wife and I have a monthly meeting when we sit down, I’ll show the reports, portfolio, investments, businesses, and then we talk about our goals, vision, and what we want to do more of. This year we want to give back to charity more, and travel more to give more to charity. Our home was a planned investment, all our vacations, goals, is all planned so we are super stress free! Oh, she wants a new car, so we are already working together towards that goal. We also play games, whoever does this or that, puts more of their spending money towards that account to buy such goal. Money is fun, when there is respect and love to one another. There is no I when it comes to money, this is about us.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +19

      YES!! I love it. Beautiful example

    • @lowlowseesee
      @lowlowseesee 10 месяцев назад +5

      I always advise people should do this AND also do this same thing with emotional needs too

  • @hantzmetellus7177
    @hantzmetellus7177 10 месяцев назад +31

    I love all of this. My wife and I combined EVERYTHING 6 months before marriage. We have been married 8 years now. Same checking, same savings, we have a strategic credit card plan, but both are authorized users on each other's cards. It's what works for us. It's our money, not mine or hers. So we think of our income as one, even though we both have separate checks. (We also work together in the same place.)

  • @FlyingWhaleFVC
    @FlyingWhaleFVC 11 месяцев назад +50

    The concept of joining finances while having guilt-free spending for couples is absolutely genius. It is an amazing way to bring couples together in a joint goal while at the same time giving each one their sense of self. Thank you, Ramit

    • @damienbates
      @damienbates 11 месяцев назад +7

      It can work as long as you think/behave similarly with money. But If one person is a spendthrift they can feel bad because they can’t manage their behavior. For example, I had a partner that felt she needed a much larger amount of to spend because she couldn’t control her wants. I’d save mine and get nice things, while she’d spend hers on eating out at lunch, shoes and clothes. As a result she’d constantly go back on our agreements and we’d be dealing with debt. Needless to say it didn’t work out. Once I wasn’t there she quickly spiraled into debt.

  • @Eightpspi
    @Eightpspi 11 месяцев назад +184

    We need a season two of the Netflix show

  • @Hell2Kaiser
    @Hell2Kaiser 11 месяцев назад +62

    I enjoy that Ramit mentions not caring about someone’s financial past. All that matters is what they are doing about it currently. I’ve made the dumbest decisions with money and I’ve learned from them and am not afraid to talk about them because it may help someone without even realizing it because they may be afraid to discuss it but not know how to go about it.

  • @SuzanneU
    @SuzanneU 11 месяцев назад +22

    My husband and I share one checking account, one HYSA, and one credit card. We each have a personal allowance for guilt-free spending. Very simple, very efficient, very transparent.

  • @jared3235
    @jared3235 11 месяцев назад +99

    After 5 years of being married I finally am able to talk about money with my wife without it being a stressful conversation.
    It feels amazing.

    • @ReaveIdono
      @ReaveIdono 11 месяцев назад +1

      I hope to get there.

    • @SuzanneU
      @SuzanneU 11 месяцев назад +6

      Good going! It took 20 years before my husband stopped treating money discussions as if they were bad smells. He'd still rather leave me to get on with it...

    • @colour-play
      @colour-play 11 месяцев назад +1

      It took us about 4 years! And we are finally there. It feels much happier and we are on the same page 🎉

  • @Azel247
    @Azel247 11 месяцев назад +12

    We went through a brief marriage course before getting married. We talked about money and found we share similar views and goals. That allowed us to join all of our accounts comfortably and we don't worry about who pays for what. Anything that comes into the account became ours and it's liberating not having to care about "fair" contribution.

  • @NickiBluIs
    @NickiBluIs 11 месяцев назад +29

    A fun way I start money convos with my family is to imagine what we’d do if we won the lottery! It gets us laughing and dreaming big and opens the door to talking about our rich life

  • @BeachandCoffee
    @BeachandCoffee 11 месяцев назад +28

    Thanks for this. I'm about to move in with my partner and not making financial decisions on my own is a new ocean for me. This really helped.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +2

      You're welcome!

  • @lbpearson88
    @lbpearson88 11 месяцев назад +22

    Thanks Ramit! I am getting married in July and was curious about joining our finances, so this was super helpful. I’m also proud to say that I, in fact, did not break up with my fiancé, but we just finished closing her Bank of America accounts!

    • @chinazaro.9448
      @chinazaro.9448 11 месяцев назад +1

      What other banks do you (or have you heard Ramit) recommend for checking accounts?

    • @lbpearson88
      @lbpearson88 11 месяцев назад

      @@chinazaro.9448 I use capital one for my checking, savings, and credit card, as it helps me to have all my accounts in one place, and I’ve been very happy with it! In Ramit’s book, he mentions that he uses the Schwab Bank Investor Checking with Schwab One Brokerage Account. You have to have the brokerage account to get all the checking features, but never actually need to use it. For savings, he recommends capital one or ally.

  • @AlmaMariaRinasz
    @AlmaMariaRinasz 11 месяцев назад +20

    You are one of the smartest financial ‘gurus’ I follow bc you understand people’s psychology. Your google doc suggestion is actually something that parenting experts who work on positive discipline also suggest - they are called family meetings and they always have an agenda that starts with compliments. Ty for being so authentic and helpful Ramit and team!

  • @beea4456
    @beea4456 11 месяцев назад +11

    The video I've been waiting for! My cousin just got engaged and I was looking to her for advice about talking about money and she said they haven't talked about it. My mind was blown.

  • @beea4456
    @beea4456 11 месяцев назад +25

    You should do a call in series. I am interested in how to do it when one person comes in with a lot of money and the other one doesn't

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +4

      I do live Q&A in my money coaching program: iwt.com/moneycoaching

  • @_ssjim
    @_ssjim 11 месяцев назад +7

    I feel when it is separate it keeps the individual accountable / responsible with conscious spending

  • @Philliprgarcia
    @Philliprgarcia 13 дней назад

    I just bought your book and I am making you my mentor this year on finances. I enjoy the way you teach, straight to the point, no flush and clear !

  • @djas94
    @djas94 11 месяцев назад +6

    We both started out with nothing as students, zero help from either side. We had to combine our funds to work from one pot that way we could see what we had, what we could make for the year and then plan what we could spend. 32 years later we still do that. We were never equal in salaries but we had zero other options or resources to raise a family. Perhaps not for everyone but it works for us

  • @sihr07
    @sihr07 11 месяцев назад +33

    When I was separating my therapist asked me ‘how are your finances combined as a couple’ and I was like “what do you mean combined?” 😅 I think it was the first time I understood the lack of commitment we were showing from the beginning, no one was willing to even share the basic information in order to build a future together. Then I heard Ramit and everything fell in place…This podcast has been hugely eye-opening

  • @adamp6320
    @adamp6320 9 месяцев назад +6

    Yours mine and ours works for us, with total transperancy on assets/income/etc and expenses split based on incomes. Never once had an argument about money. Do what works for you. Combining everything would lead to arguments for us.

  • @stacyklein2497
    @stacyklein2497 11 месяцев назад +3

    This is perfect. We are about to jump into a complete different lifestyle.
    My boyfriend and I have been together 8years, and we're both self employed, and we're almost done building a house and will have a mortgage soon, and I'm also 8 months pregnant! So we have all these new expenses! Then we want to get investments set up after. ❤

  • @DavidMedina-cb7pk
    @DavidMedina-cb7pk 11 месяцев назад +8

    To some extent, I highly doubt most couples can do this type of conversations without an outside support. I love the video and idea you share.

    • @o0usf0o
      @o0usf0o 11 месяцев назад +7

      My girlfriend and I have full financial transparency. It’s so nice!

    • @DavidMedina-cb7pk
      @DavidMedina-cb7pk 11 месяцев назад

      @@o0usf0o love It, my partner and I too. And we also have things we come up againts and challenges and triggers. That's why I work with my own coach 💚😊

    • @User55pk46
      @User55pk46 11 месяцев назад +7

      Why? How would they even be a couple if they can't discuss this simple and critical subject???

    • @DavidMedina-cb7pk
      @DavidMedina-cb7pk 11 месяцев назад

      if you are sincerely asking this, I'm not sure you understand how challenging it is to have an intimate relation with someone or even if you have one - no judgment over here. It is sort of like asking how comes building a business is difficult or having children ... this is just inherent to this aspects of life because of our human nature,@@User55pk46

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +3

      Outside support definitely helps (e.g., my money coaching at iwt.com/moneycoaching), but you can also DIY using books and podcasts and my journal. Two people building a vision together can be very powerful.

  • @michaelao7871
    @michaelao7871 3 месяца назад

    I love you video . Problem with combining finances when one person overspends is that I don’t want to waste time discussing why my partner did not stick to the plan. I could use that time to solve world hunger

  • @brianadiaz3919
    @brianadiaz3919 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for the advice. Lately I’ve been struggling and playing the blame game instead of looking at the bigger picture which is having general conversations about money and how to strategize a plan for how we can move forward.

  • @jamineup12
    @jamineup12 2 месяца назад +3

    Thank you. My partner has been upset with me because I don’t talk about my finances with him. and this really help clarify a lot of stuff in my head on why money negative is a topic for me.
    Being with Bank of America is bad?

  • @chingsynnteo7112
    @chingsynnteo7112 11 месяцев назад +6

    We need episodes of couples with past marriages with kids. With past issues, how couples look into finance again together.. Not trying to earn $ from a relationship but we are talking about 40s to 50s year old couples, not fresh grad, not just going to get married.
    I mean committed to relationships without getting married, how to ensure we protect one another. Especially if one partner believes in marriage , believes in financial discussions, but not the other one. If need real couples story, I’m ready to speak to this.

    • @jermainehuell7745
      @jermainehuell7745 6 месяцев назад +1

      You mentioned a specific aspect of this discussion that i came sifting throught the comments for, "past relationship with children". This is important because tbis is where things get even more complicated.

  • @darbymori350
    @darbymori350 11 месяцев назад +1

    I like that you talk through the different options, and the steps on how to bring up the money talk. Gentle but powerful.

  • @Avamoneta
    @Avamoneta 11 месяцев назад +2

    Downloaded your video quickly to watch during my lunch break. This I want to be more like this and what’s going on now! I respect so much about having couples financial communication.

  • @bootmanmstz
    @bootmanmstz 11 месяцев назад

    Gread advice. Just wanted to chime in that my girlfriend and I are one of those couples who don't combine our finances, but we're 100% transparent with each other about our money. We talk about money regularly, show each other what's in our bank accounts and all that. We're also both very anxious about money due to how we grew up, so we're aware that if we saw money leave the account we'd both freak out and ask "WHAT'D YOU BUY FOR $___?!". So, we keep it separate and are both great with our money and have savings and investments set up. We split major expenses and fund trips together, and I'll often pay a little bit more due to having a higher income.

  • @kriismuss
    @kriismuss 4 месяца назад +1

    Hey Ramit, love the videos! I've learned a lot about budgeting in a single week from you. I gotta say, you should look into asking your editor(s) to de-ess your video audio a bit more. The "s" sounds when you talk are really really ear-demolishing :D Wish you the best!

  • @pandaevenstar
    @pandaevenstar 6 месяцев назад

    My fiancee literally uses BofA and we are now not choosing them for our joint accounts thanks to your video!

  • @user-gr7jo9qb3l
    @user-gr7jo9qb3l 11 месяцев назад +25

    This was the most helpful advice about discussing $. As a high-earning woman, I'm terrified of getting used by a broke, loser man-child...to the point where I don't want to get married bc I will lose

    • @bethw9289
      @bethw9289 11 месяцев назад

      Don’t date a loser broke man child!

    • @SuzanneU
      @SuzanneU 11 месяцев назад +14

      @@whereswarren3719Electric blankets are wonderful for warming one's bed - and far cheaper than a manchild.

    • @Mama2CDHsurvivor
      @Mama2CDHsurvivor 9 месяцев назад

      We call those guys “hobosexuals.”

    • @lightspark5902
      @lightspark5902 29 дней назад

      What does a high earning women , mean? Do you make a million?

  • @rickmc73
    @rickmc73 11 месяцев назад +3

    Most people that have a “successful” way to do finances as a couple should admit they got lucky. They did not do specific planning. But they love to tell you “it works for us so you should do it” without that key part that it worked by accident. Not to distract from Ramit’s point here as it’s great advice. Just to note the vast majority of advice from people on this topic comes from people that lucked into something that worked for them.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +1

      What do you mean?

  • @swithheld9905
    @swithheld9905 11 месяцев назад +1

    would definitely read a book with ramit outlining all of the observations he's gathered about attitudes and finance strategies couples have, and how they play out in the real world. maybe with a licensed psychologist explaining what's going on in each scenario...

  • @benks464
    @benks464 11 месяцев назад +1

    please more money conversations to have with your spouse! I would love the chance to sit and talk IWT frameworks but I do not know how to really bring it up

  • @KC-qr3wk
    @KC-qr3wk 11 месяцев назад +9

    1. I plan on not moving in with my partner until we’re married. 2. I plan on keeping everything accumulated before marriage separate. 3. I plan on combining everything going forward 100% I believe

    • @ohasumirawr
      @ohasumirawr 11 месяцев назад +3

      Why not move in together before getting married? Imo I think it's a great testing ground to not only see how the other lives, but to also see how they think and talk about money and expenses.

  • @brunagosta7296
    @brunagosta7296 5 месяцев назад

    I wish this video was ready an year ago.. thats the only flaw in it 😅 very good to hear i wasnt going crazy on what i proposed. Its just clear his fear of commitment. Thank you!

  • @Lorivate-e7o
    @Lorivate-e7o 2 дня назад

    We're having to have a big talk about money now, after 32 years. Now that I am trying to retire in a couple years and my husband quit his job last year and has not brought in any income. After 18 months I had to sit down and set some boundaries and let him know I will no longer be subsidizing his "early retirement"

  • @lisajane4330
    @lisajane4330 11 месяцев назад

    Always enjoy your video's!. My partner & I have always had separate accounts going on 16yrs now & its worked for us, as theres a set amount my partner will transfer to me to manage most of the bills & he keeps the rest for his weekly expenses like petrol etc. We were late 20's when we met so both already very independent. Ive always loved budgeting but could have done a much better job with managing our money, anyway better late then never.

  • @oscarcartwright5979
    @oscarcartwright5979 17 дней назад

    Such a good video. Thank you so much man 😀

  • @himalayansuperbikeencounte4368
    @himalayansuperbikeencounte4368 22 дня назад

    What a Beautiful Video! Thank you so much!!! ❤❤❤

  • @jocose2206
    @jocose2206 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you Ramit! I’ve been curious about this topic and your video just clarified things for me. Couldn’t come in a perfect time. Thanks for educating us all!

  • @RiffsRhythm
    @RiffsRhythm 18 дней назад

    Love this. What would suggest about investments? Would you suggest two investment portfolios or both contribute into one under one name?

  • @KellyBoettcher-qo9tx
    @KellyBoettcher-qo9tx 11 месяцев назад +368

    Do not combine finances until you are married.

    • @Naoompje-lw2xf
      @Naoompje-lw2xf 11 месяцев назад +31

      Depends on your situation I guess. My partner and I are not married, but combine 50% of our income and send it to a joint account for joint expenses. Works like a dream. The rest of the money is just our own.

    • @TheOfficialArthurMorgan
      @TheOfficialArthurMorgan 11 месяцев назад +15

      yeah thats a way to do it. It's still odd tho because people frequently don't tell their partner about all their income. They hide things. Just seems like a weird way to play pretend marriage without actually committing to marriage

    • @KellyBoettcher-qo9tx
      @KellyBoettcher-qo9tx 11 месяцев назад +5

      @@Naoompje-lw2xf no married

    • @matthewharrigan3568
      @matthewharrigan3568 11 месяцев назад +23

      Combining assets before marriage, like a house, is problematic. Having a joint bank account before marriage with a low balance and has money flowing through it for shared expenses can be positive.

    • @TheOfficialArthurMorgan
      @TheOfficialArthurMorgan 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@matthewharrigan3568can be, but best thing is to no mingle anything until marriage.

  • @IBPaintsppp-wt5ou
    @IBPaintsppp-wt5ou 10 месяцев назад +4

    My partner and I keep our bank accounts separate, but we each pay a percentage of our shared expenses based on our incomes. We also do our own monthly budgets and talk about money fairly often. It's been working very well.

  • @mehith_karanam
    @mehith_karanam 11 месяцев назад

    This video has some awesome insights! I'm definitely sharing it with my partner to boost our financial game.

  • @shannon1999able
    @shannon1999able 11 месяцев назад +10

    What about one partner’s money inherited from parents and grandparents?

  • @bomchikawawa8989
    @bomchikawawa8989 11 месяцев назад +4

    Hello👋🏾, I love your videos! A question on ratios with inequal earnings. My partner made a concious decision to leave their job to persue starting their own business. Before we made equal amounts.
    They went against our long term plan to hit some life goals first before quitting regular work and launching their business. I am now covering all of our living expenses and have no money for myself.
    The decision benefits them as they now have a much less stressful life, while I have to push for a promotion to improve our long term situation. Eventually when they start bringing in income would it be right to do your proportionate ratios when they’ve benefitted so much from the move and I’ve lost?

  • @soumyajeetchakrabarty6872
    @soumyajeetchakrabarty6872 11 месяцев назад +1

    This has been very very insightful and I love your concept of we

  • @auntviv1251
    @auntviv1251 11 месяцев назад +3

    The idea of not combining finances as a married couple boggles my mind. Wouldn’t this result in one person having more money than the other? Isn’t that strange? It’s like oh I am going on this vacation I saved up for, sorry you can’t afford it since you haven’t saved

  • @francescaruggiero7673
    @francescaruggiero7673 11 месяцев назад +1

    Io e mio marito non lo abbiamo mai fatto e quando ho iniziato a parlarne lui non voleva mai ...si offendeva, è un grande problrma in una coppia se non sene parla . Infatti poi ci siamo separati per tanti motivi, uno è anche la mancanza di comunicazione sulla gestione del denaro grazie Ramith

  • @devijahn
    @devijahn 5 месяцев назад

    Awesome Ramit, thank you so much 🙏🏻💫🕯

  • @MrMustlovecats
    @MrMustlovecats 11 месяцев назад

    This was amazing. THANK YOU Ramit. My husband and I just had a talk on Monday about this. I’m gonna watch this again when he gets home. I offered to reopen a joint account. Question: what is the best bank out there for a joint checking account? Thanks again,

  • @jneumonik
    @jneumonik 11 месяцев назад +2

    Option 2 for the win.

    • @Kwallss
      @Kwallss 7 месяцев назад

      👏👏

  • @samaaaa7
    @samaaaa7 11 месяцев назад

    Love this advice, thanks for the video!

  • @zaheermoosa3233
    @zaheermoosa3233 11 месяцев назад

    Starting a business from stretch balancing your finances according to your budget some basic rules and information one can acquire

  • @iankamau222
    @iankamau222 11 месяцев назад +1

    strategically placed wedding picture over right shoulder sitting impractically on top of two books

    • @ambbb4691
      @ambbb4691 2 месяца назад

      I noticed that too lol

  • @TheSmartSneakerhead
    @TheSmartSneakerhead 11 месяцев назад

    When my wife and I we got married we made a joint account for our bills and one for savings/fun goals. We even have a monthly budget But having a joint acct for day to day personal expenses/hobbies; is more of a struggle for her. And some of that extra money isnt on our budget sheets. Even though she hasn"t flat out said she is opposed to it, I am determined to bring up this topic when we pay our bills next month, but want to do it in a gentle way and smooth way and thats my issues. I feel no matter how I bring it up, it might be a little testy
    I dont mind if we come to an agreement on how much we keep for ourselves say $100/200 a month. And then everything else goes in our joint accounts. But since she has an event planning side hustle that brings income every few months, i think she is hesistant to completely combine all funds.

    • @juliamontejo1563
      @juliamontejo1563 11 месяцев назад +1

      If you have a set amount for fun money, have it diverted to a separate account. That’s what we do. We have our own accounts for the small percentage of guilt free money we allocate. We also have some joint credit cards but I still maintain one on my own.

  • @UnwanaUdoh
    @UnwanaUdoh 11 месяцев назад

    Great advice and life lessons 👌

  • @gabsfairchild
    @gabsfairchild 3 месяца назад

    Hi @ramit thank you for all of your helpful videos! I wonder, could you make a video like this "sitdown" video, but have the audience be both partners? While I try to have these conversations with my partner myself, (ive tried to have this gentle conversation so many times without my desired result of having a designated meeting ONCE PER YEAR). Rather than having talking points to one partner who's trying to gentlely guide the other, have the whole script be talking to both partners? I'd like to say, 'hey let's watch this video together' amd have it be like an intro.... BUT I guess that's what the new book is going to be like 😅

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  3 месяца назад

      This is the new book! iwt.com/moneyforcouples

  • @Jesscov7
    @Jesscov7 7 дней назад

    First time watching you with my Bank of America account 🙃🙃🙃🙃

  • @justvincenturb
    @justvincenturb 11 месяцев назад +4

    Talking about money, and other important values, after engagement seems a little late, no?

  • @topseekrit
    @topseekrit 11 месяцев назад +3

    First date questions: do you listen to Ramit’s podcast? Have you read his book? What does your rich life look like 5 years from now? 10 years from now?
    You can get a lot of clues long before the first baecation happens 😂

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +1

      LOVE IT

    • @joyfulone1
      @joyfulone1 11 месяцев назад

      My suggestion for the “first few dates” is to ask more general questions, which allows you to see if you are really on the same page or not or have the same interests. For example, what do enjoy doing most? What does the perfect weekend look like for you? I love this question because if it doesn’t include church it’s a major red flag for me. What’s your favorite book(s)? If they don’t read books or include personal finance books it’s a major red flag. Etc.

  • @BobSure_AKA_PotatoSmasher
    @BobSure_AKA_PotatoSmasher 11 месяцев назад +4

    Do not combine incomes until you're comfortable looking at one another's credit report files.

  • @satasaderoberts9273
    @satasaderoberts9273 Месяц назад +1

    What banks do you recommend?

  • @punisher6659
    @punisher6659 11 месяцев назад

    Thanks for your content. Subscriber from St.Louis

  • @haldenseierup5103
    @haldenseierup5103 11 месяцев назад

    Hey Ramit! Your videos have taught me so much about finance and I was wondering why you’re so against Band of America and Wells Fargo? (As someone who is 22 years old and my only bank account is with bank of america you can see why this caught my attention 😅) thanks for the videos!

    • @excitedaboutlearning1639
      @excitedaboutlearning1639 11 месяцев назад

      Because both of them have high fees, they've been guilty of discrimination against minorities and their incentives forced their employees to open thousands of new accounts for existing customers without the customers' consent.
      They've been fined billions for their behaviors. Google is your friend.

  • @Nikarichi
    @Nikarichi 11 месяцев назад

    This was great! Thank you :)

  • @eddiemalvin
    @eddiemalvin 11 месяцев назад +8

    What's the ultimate goal or "end game" for married couples who keep their finances separate?
    I can think of a few scenarios (ensuring inheritances for children from a previous marriage, spouses planning to leave, etc.) but, if you intend to spend a lifetime with someone, isn't it all shared assets in the end?
    Not judging. Genuinely curious.

    • @muckyecm3836
      @muckyecm3836 9 месяцев назад +3

      My husband and I do this. We have one joint account that we put equal amounts into. The rest goes into our personal accounts, which we basically do whatever we want with as long as it doesn't impede the other person's space or habits (in which case we discuss before buying). A few advantages: 1) Either of us can leave at any time and still be financially sound, not feeling like our ex would end up with all the stuff we earned with our personal hard work. That makes us work harder to be good spouses, because neither of us actually NEED the other person. We're still together because we want to be, not because we're afraid of the fallout of a divorce. 2) Neither of us have to ask for permission or feel guilty buying anything; we only discuss when it may bother the other person to have the purchase around. We're both adults, and we can both be responsible. We've actually never had any disagreements about money. 3) If either of us get sued, the other person's assets are more protected because they're not community property. We discussed what we think is fair on finances and how many children we want on our third date, and we've pretty much stuck by that for 9 years. This method works well for us because we both have good jobs (at the time we started dating, my income was about 80% higher than his; currently it's 50% higher. We both make 6 figures).

    • @eddiemalvin
      @eddiemalvin 9 месяцев назад

      @@muckyecm3836 Thanks for sharing!
      To be honest, I still don't get it. All property acquired during a marriage is owned 50-50 by each spouse, regardless of which name is on the account. That basically negates #1 and #3. If you separate, he has a claim to at least half of what you have in your account and vice versa. If you earn significantly more, he can also claim alimony. For the same reason, separate accounts won't protect against lawsuits. There are much better and easier ways to protect assets.
      The only one that makes any sense is #2 but you can achieve this with joint accounts unless one is an avid saver and the other is a voracious spender with no self-control. Living separate financial lives just seems so complicated and unnecessary unless one of you came into the marriage with a lot more than the other.
      My wife and I are both very high-earners and have roughly the same income. We both prioritize saving and investing over spending. When we married, we had similar net worths so we simply merged our financial lives from day one and it's never been a problem.
      Having said that... There are no right or wrong answers. Do whatever works for you. Best of luck!

    • @eddiemalvin
      @eddiemalvin 8 месяцев назад

      @@muckyecm3836 Thanks! That makes some sense, I guess.
      We live in a state where none of that matters. Money held in either spouses name is still joint assets and would be treated as such in a divorce or lawsuit. There is no asset protection by having one spouse name vs. both.
      I guess my wife and I are just fortunate. We both have very high incomes and similar frugal spending habits so we just combined our accounts from day one.
      If we ever had to split our assets 50-50, neither of us would feel like we were losing out because we've increased our combined net worth far more than either of us could alone.

  • @joyfulone1
    @joyfulone1 11 месяцев назад +1

    My suggestion for the “first few dates” is to ask more general questions, which allows you to see if you are really on the same page or not or have the same interests. For example, what do enjoy doing most? What does the perfect weekend look like for you? I love this question because if it doesn’t include church it’s a major red flag for me. What’s your favorite book(s)? If they don’t read books or include personal finance books it’s a major red flag. Etc.

  • @eileenwatt8283
    @eileenwatt8283 11 месяцев назад +3

    His spending habits is an indicator of his money habits.
    If he shows up in status symbols. I am thinking " this guy is in debt."

  • @AriamL-l1q
    @AriamL-l1q 11 месяцев назад +3

    Question, how about a podcast episode for singles? We have goals too ….

    • @sihr07
      @sihr07 11 месяцев назад

      Ramit normally answers to this with ‘read my book’😅 And I agree somehow but yes, these series allow way more insight, maybe because the format allows for more emotions to show ..Hoping he’ll do one day!

  • @TravelFun-qw8pi
    @TravelFun-qw8pi Месяц назад

    It’s fun to buy or rent 2 houses so you can have lots of time alone to create a masterpiece of art 🖼️ and your life! 😂❤🎉

  • @deniap.zvikonyo6662
    @deniap.zvikonyo6662 5 месяцев назад

    Amazing very very helpful

  • @sarahdamico8283
    @sarahdamico8283 11 месяцев назад +1

    Ramit, we need fitness transformation content. Thank you

  • @_ssjim
    @_ssjim 11 месяцев назад +1

    What if one person wants to purchase something and the other doesn't? How would 50/50 work. When is it okay to break the 50/50 without building wrong attitude/ resentment ?

  • @renemontenegro6143
    @renemontenegro6143 11 месяцев назад +5

    NO WAY!

  • @r6ppygbx13
    @r6ppygbx13 7 месяцев назад

    I completely understand wanting financial conversations to be organic, but you don’t want to wait that long into dating to find out if someone had good financial habits. I didn’t reach any of your milestones until a year + into dating.

  • @diegomatos2219
    @diegomatos2219 11 месяцев назад +2

    I earn around 8000 per month, my wife earns 1000 per month. We have a two-year-old daughter. I already cover all expenses, including her health insurance and her mobile subscription, and I also transfer her money weekly for grocery shopping. She can do whatever she wants with her income, yet she says she feels excluded from the money. I have openly shown her all of our expenses, and we have defined savings goals together (which I will save for alone). Do you have any advice on how I can improve my/our situation?

    • @ohasumirawr
      @ohasumirawr 11 месяцев назад +5

      Seems like you're still managing your money and she's still managing her money. Instead of transferring her money for weekly groceries, just have a joint checking where both of you put a percentage of your incomes to cover your monthly expenses including groceries, health insurance, mobile subscriptions. This way neither of you really have to ask the other about necessary expenses. You both just understand that that money is for necessary expenses.Then have a fixed amount automatically transfer to your savings, and another fixes amount automatically transfer to each of your personal checking accounts to serve as your own money you can do whatever you want with.
      i.e.
      Joint Checking: 70% of income ($6300)
      Joint Savings: 25% of income ($2250)
      Personal Checking Husband: 2.5% of income ($225)
      Personal Checking Wife: 2.5% of income ($225)

  • @kittleo9124
    @kittleo9124 11 месяцев назад +2

    How do you combine finances when the other person has a child 50/50, child support and alimony? (Pre-marriage, at time of considering moving in)

    • @chingsynnteo7112
      @chingsynnteo7112 11 месяцев назад

      Need more episodes dealing with above 40s adults situation…

  • @debbiecurrlin335
    @debbiecurrlin335 11 месяцев назад

    Great advice 😊

  • @Nikarichi
    @Nikarichi 11 месяцев назад +2

    My husband and I are in our late 20s and combined we make ~$300k/year. A little less than a year ago I come up with the idea of having a shared checking account and each contribute 33% of our salary (that covers our fixed expenses and everything that is left over goes into joint savings). Additionally we set up a joint savings and recently started contributing there. The next question and step will be is to figure out how and if we join investment accounts? Do we just keep ours and start over with a new one? But then it takes away a lot of compound interest over time. What would you recommend? How to “join” investment accounts but also make sure that both partners keep what they had before marriage to their own accounts?

    • @excitedaboutlearning1639
      @excitedaboutlearning1639 11 месяцев назад

      I believe Ramit has said that he does the following: he and his wife have their own accounts and they have joint accounts. So, my recommendation is to have your own 401Ks & Roth IRAs or so. If you have money left owner, taxable investment accounts as well.
      Now, you also want to have a joint checking account and a joint savings account.
      individual accounts + joint accounts.

  • @stephanmanning5277
    @stephanmanning5277 11 месяцев назад

    Dang it! I've been using BofA for 20 years! What should I use?

  • @mehvids
    @mehvids 11 месяцев назад +1

    8:10 I laughed way too hard at this 🤣

  • @dr.sakshi5805
    @dr.sakshi5805 Месяц назад

    Can you guide us ...how to manage finances when both of us is running our own business...when there is no stable source of income

  • @stevyakpaka4451
    @stevyakpaka4451 11 месяцев назад

    Great advice! But how to combine or manage our finances together when only one person has an income? Or when your partner cannot not contribute.

    • @SuzanneU
      @SuzanneU 11 месяцев назад +2

      The person who is the sole earner should not be a dictator. What non-financial contributions does the non-earner make? What would it cost you in money or time or both to buy or do those services yourself? Many men think that their wives don't contribute and are horrified to discover that they couldn't afford the services!
      You do it the same way that couples with two incomes do. You sit down together. You look at what you jointly genuinely need to survive - housing, utilities, toilet paper, food...Look at your net income. How much is left when you deduct barebones expenses?
      Now you talk about savings, investments, and wants.
      You remain courteous and engage civilly.

    • @JF-vw9lv
      @JF-vw9lv 11 месяцев назад

      @@SuzanneU Hmmm they can't afford the services (I'm going to assume you mean cooking and cleaning ) they took care of themselves before you entered the picture?

  • @mhodge0890
    @mhodge0890 11 месяцев назад

    Do quarterly if you get paid the middle and the end of the month

  • @cm88__ny
    @cm88__ny 11 месяцев назад +5

    Option 2 feels scary. I wouldn't mind having an account where we both maybe contribute a certain amount to take care of shared expenses. But I don't know how I feel about combining it ALL.

    • @adamp6320
      @adamp6320 9 месяцев назад +4

      The horror stories you hear from a spouse that has an addiction; I agree with you. There's no reason you can't have financial transperancy and honesty with joint and separate accounts.

    • @ambbb4691
      @ambbb4691 2 месяца назад

      Yeah, I've seen this go wrong too many times to think it's a realistic option.

  • @blacnium1
    @blacnium1 7 месяцев назад

    I thought about getting a Primerica term life insurance policy. Are those bad, or are you referring to their other products? Please let me know. 😂

  • @Erepk
    @Erepk 11 месяцев назад

    Ramit, I know you are just joking about the response to predatory banks (well kinda..) but I wanted to let you know, if you don’t already, that Wells Fargo is the only bank that I know of that can bank the undocumented community in the US. Which of course is verryyyy intentional. They are the perfect community to not push back on fees or other sketchy activity. I wish it wasn’t this way, but being unbanked is even worse :(

  • @21truthbetold
    @21truthbetold 7 месяцев назад +3

    Talking about money is not the same as agreeing. Husband and I are 2 yrs married he doesn’t agree on anything. It’s exhausting. I’m always tried. I just want to financially separate.

  • @xrpjon_998
    @xrpjon_998 11 месяцев назад

    Awesome!!!!!!!

  • @grantzwingelberg8752
    @grantzwingelberg8752 11 месяцев назад

    I've been looking all over the internet for someone to explain how a teacher/state employee with a pension between 40-65% of their take home pay at retirement should invest for maximum medium to long term wealth (retirement and brokerage). At 35 is my pension considered my safe percentage so I can invest very aggressive or do I ignore the pension completely and invest in Roth/403(b) and ETFs?

  • @luisaparra4799
    @luisaparra4799 11 месяцев назад

    I’m a little
    Late I think. Why not WF or
    BOA? Is it because they don’t really give back?

  • @johanaroc
    @johanaroc 11 месяцев назад

    Excellent! If not Bk of Ame or WF, what banking institutions would u recommend?

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад +2

      Please read my book. I cover specific accounts in there: amzn.to/3GrLywk

  • @Kilabyte21
    @Kilabyte21 11 месяцев назад +1

    I can only imagine a divorce being complicated with combined finances

    • @leer.4747
      @leer.4747 11 месяцев назад +1

      Keeping finances separate does not simplify divorce proceedings unless you have an extremely amicable divorce. Your spouse can still make claims on "your" accounts or assets. For the simplicity you are seeking, you need a prenuptial agreement.
      There is an edge case for which you are correct though: for funds obtained through inheritance, if the funds are not co-mingled, that will simplify things and help you maintain your claim on them.

    • @Kilabyte21
      @Kilabyte21 11 месяцев назад

      @@leer.4747 thanks, prenup is a good idea

  • @arus6407
    @arus6407 11 месяцев назад +5

    Umm...only do this if you are married I don't know why he didn't state this it's bad advice for just boyfriend and gf status or gf or ect

  • @yani7nov
    @yani7nov 11 месяцев назад +2

    I feel like combining all of our finances is a risky move, what if the marriage ended? How do we make sure that the separation does not bankrupt one party? Plus, many people end up in an abusive marriage. Combined finances does not allow the victims to pack up and leave. Your video does not address it, it's all scenarios based on a positive, successful relationship, which is not always the case for many people.

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад

      You tell me. What are your options?

  • @einahsirro1488
    @einahsirro1488 4 месяца назад

    I had an account with Bank of America. I am divorced. I never made the connection till just now... =)

  • @kaleahmccants6531
    @kaleahmccants6531 8 месяцев назад

    "Love you! Love you babe!
    But I'm not living on a farm.
    Goodbye." LMFAO

  • @myname7890
    @myname7890 11 месяцев назад +2

    I understand the incomes & expenses part of joining finances.
    But how about equity? Property or shares in a business, both from before the relationship and those which started during it?

    • @ramitsethi
      @ramitsethi  11 месяцев назад

      Good question. You tell me -- how would you handle this?

    • @myname7890
      @myname7890 11 месяцев назад +2

      Equity from before marriage, prenup.
      During marriage, each one would get their own equity. There could be shared equity (the house, but also investments).