I love that, after Jon makes his "LITERALLY EVERYTHING" joke and they're laughing, you can hear one of the nearby tombs laughing too. Good to know the judgemental graves have a sense of humor.
Not only that, the judgement of what you say, you hate this person with as much of your being as possible but if you say even one ill word, use one small tone that may not be what they want to hear they will destroy you
Being unable to tell the truth for fear of others’s reactions, being kept in line by the invisible restraints of a society that doesn’t have your best interests at heart
I love the transcripts: *Jon:* Fine. I spy with my little eye… Literally everything. [MARTIN LAUGHS] [THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS] [A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER STOPS WITH TENSE SIGHS]
Honestly, my favorite episode. The eye-spy thing, Jon being genuinely excited and Martin being happy for them, Salacia putting on a show and the two of em just falling over. I like to imagionJon tried leaning on Martin for support, then Martin falling over and Jon falling on him like a soft pillow. And Anna and Salacio just looking at each other like "Whelp, kinda figure that would happen"
This one fucked me up, the idea that you are so programed that even after someone who abused you is dead you can't speak against them so afraid that they will find you even through the absolutness of death itself
CUTE! JON! RIGHTS! i have so much love for this episode, martin is so besotted with jon's excitement, even if he's suspicious of jon's blind spot. the statement itself is rly good, like damn, it sure is gross how often survivors of abuse have to hold their tongues as their abuser is venerated because it's 'rude to speak ill of the dead.' also mikaele's attempt at at putting on a show for the lads is such a great moment, and i'm forever grateful that jmart get a little break from the apocalypse to have a nap, a meal, and a bath.
@@l0vket a;lskfjfk it's like, the goofy shorthand ship name, used precisely because it sounds like a convenience store name! glad to know that's manifested in reality. 'jonmartin' is probably the most commonly used ship name, basic as it is. way back in the day, fans referred to it as 'the dinghy' because it was such a tiny ship and wasn't expected to ever be canon. if they'd only known...
Hearing them both laughing at Jon’s “I spy with my little eye… *literally everything*” cured my depression. At least until I heard someone from the tombs laugh as well, lol. And Jon’s cute excitement !!!! I can’t, it’s too much. I’m still suspicious, of course, but the cuteness is the main impression this episode leaves. And the statement of the domain was really cool as well, a really interesting specific fear. I liked it a lot.
I very much had a moment of going "Mikaele Salesa?!" when Annabelle greeted him. I had hoped he'd show up at some point, but assumed he wouldn't after being reported dead. I suppose "reported" is the key word here. Never did see a body.
The moment with the corpse also laughing is like the meme where you share a meme in your Facebook group chat, and then Mark Zuckerberg types "haha, good one."
Omgggggg who gave them the right to be that cute And we go from “that look is adorable on you btw” to “away and around and away they stretch-“ Also also I stand by the fact that Martin kissed Jon on the cheek before walking off to let him do his thing
@@lyx8039 lol I recently got into TMA and when i listened to it i was recklessly scrolling through the comments with no regard for the possible spoilers i might recieve
Salesa really said "You guys are stinky" lol. Great episode, it was psychologically fascinating and nice to have some lighter tension then from the past few statements!
This episode was so nice. The "literally everything" joke, how excited Jon was about the mystery blind spot, and then at the end they both fell asleep in the middle of Salesa's big reveal. More positive funny episodes please
.... one sec. My brain just put 2 and 2 together. The payphone, near the beginning of the season, it was Obviously the spider, Martin saw it, didn't answer it. Jon asked of he answerd it and he said he didnt. Second time, Annabel called on phone, trying to play a horrible attempt at mind games, Martin chucks his phone, Jon dosnt know about it till later. The theater episode, Martin goes exploring, really dosnt like what he sees (like really). This episode, Martin wants to avoid the oasis type place, but Jon wants to go in. Now I know alot of these points have things have other stuff involved in them (like Jon's curiosity to see what he cant see) But here is what I think. Jon is being influenced by the spider, and Martin is not. They can't for some reason, because he might be so much like them. Another thing to add. Maybe the urge to spill his horrors into the tape recorder isnt just by the influence of the eye, but maybe also from the spider. God damn it its 4 am I need sleep 0-0'
Adorable JonMartin moments... we love that! Also, I hope I don't have to take this back, but Annabelle sounds kinda nice?? And I didn't expect Salesa to sound like that at all, very nice voice!
Oh, how did you know? It is said in some extra episode or something? I didn't know and as an ace myself I find that fact quite exciting if it is canon!
@@shiroshiriflowerpot8429 If you listen to the episode, unless im mishearing, martin goes in for a PDA, and jon clearly states that...affections...are off the table
@@jessiecorvus9262 I listened closely and I'm pretty sure Martin says "Right, forgot levity is off the table" and Jon says "Mhm." I think its just Jon stopping laughing abruptly and Martin reacting.
@@jessiecorvus9262 raven wyrick is right, martin says 'levity.' they were laughing together at jon's cute stupid joke, probably hugging or leaning against each other, and then something from within one of the tombs starts laughing along with them, ruining the moment and reminding them that they're still walking through a horrible fearscape. evidenced by all the fabric rustles, jon and martin have been plenty affectionate this past season, to the point where he got defensive about their rights to pda: (ep 177) [fabric rustles] basira: you done? archivist: can we not have a moment? that said, the conversation in episode 106 where it's revealed that jon's ace implied pretty heavily that he's sex averse. at the very least, he definitely had boundaries against having sex while he was dating georgie. on a different note, i think all the traumatic injuries and multiple kidnappings from the past 4 seasons have left jon pretty touch adverse in general, but he's fairly clingy and affectionate with martin because he feels safe with him.
Oh, this makes me feel so horrible. I'm having to slow my breathing and wipe my eyes. This would be my own private hell if I had to do this for my father.
I completely forgot that the Blind Spot hadn't happened yet! I got all caught up on the RQ website and thought it had happened already. I can't help but wonder who has the most sway in this one. Is it a mixture of an Eye/End, or is there another in as well?
Probably the Buried, I would guess. It has precedent for manifesting in graveyards, and the whole stifling small-town "we don't talk about that" thing reminds me a lot of both the town with the hole and the man drowning in debt.
the wiki lists the end, eye, buried, and web! (although it’s not explicitly canon, just fan speculation). the end because of the necropolis, corpses, and funeral, the eye because of the always-watching angels, the buried because of the tombs and being trapped under the social obligation of not speaking ill of the dead, and the web because of being compelled to praise the deceased against their will
@@faxonii I feel like the Web might also be listed for the appearance of Anabelle (unless your explanation is the one given on it) but also I do find the Web being part of it interesting.
god i'm so happy with the cute moments we keep getting that l'm worried for the moment it might get ripped away from us. like maybe animes have ruined me but i fear it won't end well
Jon: I spy with my little eye literally everything Me: well what about Georgie Melanie most likely the admiral Elias Annabelle the weird eyeball place the weird safe from apocalypse place
Now you got me picturing Salesa sitting in Upton House going "Oo hoo hoo!" like that scene with the French controlled castle in Monty Python's The Quest for the Holy Grail.
I spent a lot of 2022 listening to the Magnus Archives, and when new years hit, I had finally gotten around to the final season. Yet something happened when I got to this episode: I got bored. It just didn't interest me unlike any other episode, bar that fantastic joke at the start of course. So I started to listen to the episode over and over again, trying to pay attention or finally get hooked, but I'd loose interest half way through and shelve it for later; eventually leading me to loose interest in the series as a whole and take a break from listening to it for a few months. I went to my first funeral in April. It was a very complex experience to say the least, and today I just so happened to finally listen to this podcast again; going back to that one episode I couldn't remember much about. To put it simply, the listening experience was very, very different...
One thing that helps for me is looking up a summary of the episode on the wiki it helps a lot if I keep falling asleep during it or if it gets so chaotic or surreal that it gets confusing.
Yeah, not everything grabs. And the sound in action scenes is confusing. I just tune out if its poetic fear fluff and read the transcript if something real happened. This one was weird tho, like its so niche, maybe for just this one guy..
Hey Rusty Quill, You probably won't see this, but I need your advice. I'm new to the series, up to season 3. I just learned about the entities and became obsessed with the Spiral. However, that's also when a bunch of spiders are starting to appear all over my home. I'm not even kidding. I've seen them first on the fridge, then the stairwell, then the ground outside, then the sink. It's been going on for a week, is it a sign that the Web is calling for me? that'll be awesome
@@amniamin22 eat them yourself. feel as they crawl and weave within you. feel their bites and feel the webbing wrap around your flesh. then, you will be one. then, you will be whole.
Okay 1 4 season long slow burn and apocalypse were worth this fluff 2 so what aspect of the end was that? No speaking ill of the dead was huge part if it 3 holy shut sales survived? And works with Annabelle?
hello??? um?????? statement and creepy tombs aside, anyone wanna talk about the end?????? i mean annabelle didn't *sound* like her? i could be mistaken but with everything else happening at the end there um???????
[CLICK] [FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING ON GRAVEL, AS THE WIND WHISTLES] MARTIN Hey, hang on! ARCHIVIST Oh, right you are. MARTIN Sorry, I just don’t want to lose sight of you. You keep disappearing behind tombs and that. ARCHIVIST I’ll try to slow down. MARTIN Thank you. I really rather not end up lost in a… what did you call it? ARCHIVIST Necropolis. It’s like a cemetery but all the tombs are above ground. New Orleans has a very impressive one. Or… had. MARTIN Hmm. ARCHIVIST It’s usually for places where the ground floods often or is too swampy for burial. MARTIN [Sarcastically] Pffft, oh yeah, yeah, I’m sure this place is just here because of all the flooding swamps. ARCHIVIST No, obviously. This place is a manifestation of - MARTIN No. Nope. ARCHIVIST I understand. Of course. MARTIN Sorry, I’ve just… I’ve been hearing altogether too many of your statements lately, and yeah - ARCHIVIST Yeah. No, no, I… I get it. MARTIN Just a little break. ARCHIVIST That’s fair enough. MARTIN In fact, this time, when you start to… intone, I’m going to find a nice soundproof mausoleum, and just, just chill with whatever horrors they’ve got lurking in there. Y’know. Maybe play a bit of I Spy or something. [THE ARCHIVIST CHUCKLES] MARTIN I-I’ll start. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with… T- ARCHIVIST Tombs. MARTIN Cheater. ARCHIVIST [Indignant] I did not! MARTIN Your turn. ARCHIVIST Fine. I spy with my little eye… Literally everything. [MARTIN LAUGHS] [THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS] [A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER STOPS WITH TENSE SIGHS] MARTIN Right. Sorry. Forgot. Levity is just… off the cards. [ARCHIVIST NOISE OF AGREEMENT] ARCHIVIST How are you doing? About… MARTIN Yeah, yeah… Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m not sure how to feel. Just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST I do. MARTIN … Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST She’s made it this far. MARTIN Yeah. I just worry. ARCHIVIST Me too. But I’m, uh, keeping an eye on her, so… [HEAVY STONE SCRAPES AS A SARCOPHAGUS THUDS OPENS] MARTIN Is that…? ARCHIVIST It’s not for us. Let’s keep moving. MARTIN Yeah, alright, come - Hey. Hey! I said slow down. ARCHIVIST S-Sorry. MARTIN How exactly does a leg wound make you faster? ARCHIVIST I just want to get through here quickly. MARTIN Really? I mean, it seems pretty calm apart from… Wait. Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no. It’s not more children, is it? ARCHIVIST No, no. The necropolis is fine. Uh, I mean, well, obviously it’s, it’s bad, i-i-it’s horrible… MARTIN S-So why the hurry? Where are we going? ARCHIVIST Er… well… MARTIN Come on, don’t play coy. ARCHIVIST I’m not being coy, it’s just, well… MARTIN Wait. Wait… are you excited? ARCHIVIST A bit. Maybe. MARTIN [Suspicious] Why? What’s next? ARCHIVIST [Excited] I don’t know. MARTIN In what way? ARCHIVIST All the ways. I don’t know what’s next. MARTIN What? But, like, you, you can see “literally everything,” so - ARCHIVIST I-I can! But it’s a blind spot! No idea why. I-I didn’t realise until we got closer, and I was looking at our route, but… I can’t see the area after the necropolis. None of it. It’s like the inside of the Panopticon, or, or wherever Georgie and Melanie are hiding. MARTIN Or Annabelle. ARCHIVIST …Or Annabelle. MARTIN You think the others might be there? ARCHIVIST [Delighted] I have no idea. It’s a mystery! MARTIN Just so you know, this… this is an adorable look on you. ARCHIVIST [Impatient] Yes, yes, yes, yes… MARTIN [Humouring] Alright, then. Lead on Scooby, let’s go solve a mystery, ooooh… ARCHIVIST Actually, no, hold on. MARTIN [Sighing] Of course. ARCHIVIST Sorry to be a burden. MARTIN Fine, fine. Just… stay in this… avenue while you do it. Don’t want to lose sight of you. ARCHIVIST Of course. MARTIN Not when there’s a mystery on the loose, oooh… ARCHIVIST Thank you. [FOOTSTEPS AS MARTIN BACKS OFF, AND THE STATIC RISES]
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) Away and around and away they stretch. Row upon row of waiting granite and watching marble. The names are carved with steady-handed reverence, and the dates do not make sense, but… bite your tongue. Read the epitaphs quietly to yourself in a respectful, solemn whisper: ‘loving son’, ‘noted philanthropist’, ‘honoured hero’, and do not question them out loud. For these graves, they are not silent - they are listening. Stop a moment, and see the stone angels perched above you, staring down from the harsh corners of each mausoleum roof, looking out over the avenues of darkened, not-quite-moonlit, paving slabs, which buckle ever so slightly every step, as though the soil beneath is damp and yielding. Hungry. The angels have no expressions, their faces worn and pockmarked from the cold and vicious rain that finds the time to fall with disinterested cruelty at times upon their post. But the swords that each one carries do not wear, nor rust, nor blunt. They keep their eager vigil, desperate for a comment, a word, a breath out of place against which they might strike. Upon each blade the words stand out in stark and silvered letters: NIHIL NISI BONUM. [FAINT FOOTSTEPS HURRY] Walk faster now, pick up the pace, for not all the tombs are silent, not all the graves are at peace. Is that a voice, calling sweetly from beyond the iron gate, telling you that it has something to show you, secrets that it wishes to share? [FAINT SOUNDS OF SONE SCRAPING] Just knock and ask to enter. Or try your best not to hear, to think nothing but good and admirable thoughts of those who wait in monuments to their own virtue. There now, a face, pale and stained with age and death and sin, no, not sin, never sin. Misjudgement. Indiscretion. Misunderstanding. Never sin. Never evil. It grins and smiles and nods its head, with broken yellow teeth. It is a smile that wants you closer, wants you near. A bloated, purple tongue that tries to whisper reassurance, but can only gurgle promises that smell like sour fruit. [GRAVEYARD SOUNDS AS THE WIND GUSTS, CHAINS CLINK, WOOD CREAKS] How big is this place? How many miles of eerie edifice stand between you and freedom? Some doors lie cracked, shattered outwards, their occupants kept in check by ancient chains binding their brittle, bony limbs. Don’t go too close - keep to the middle of the narrowing alley. The stench that rolls from these broken crypts is unlike anything you have ever known, like lakes of fly-blown blood left to bake in the unrelenting sun. Keep it to yourself, though. Don’t mention it. No point making a scene. The angels wouldn’t like it. Besides, those are the tombs with the longest epitaphs, so they must have been good people. Watch for the stones, the ones beneath your feet that sink and shift on the swampy ground. With every step their firmness seems more and more a question, and the cracks that cut across them grow deeper and deeper. Don’t step on the cracks, or goodness knows what will happen. And you are surrounded by goodness, are you not? Your steps are as quick as respect will allow, and echo dutifully down the avenues. How much further to the gates? How much longer must you watch your every thought, lest it bring a sneer to your lips the angels might take as scorn. It must be close, simply turn at the next crypt and you should see it. [DISTANT SOUND OF A CROWD MURMURING] Wait. No. That isn’t right. There should be the gates, the threshold to leave these silent rows, but instead what rises in front of you is a house, tall and angular, with jagged peaks of darked wood, and windows from which no light escapes. It calls itself a home, but it lies. The funeral home houses only the passing congregations of sycophants and weepers, desperate to cleanse their own iniquities in the salt-tinged flood of gloating tears. You turn to walk away, to hurry back and disappear into the tombs that now seem almost welcoming, when behind you comes the inescapable, the inevitable sound of an old wooden door being opened. [DOOR CREAKS OPEN] ‘Come in,’ the Funeral Director intones, ‘The service is about to begin. You are expected.’ The faceless gaze of each sepulchre angel fixes itself upon you, and you feel yourself turning back towards the house, though every muscle in your body screams at you to run. Instead you nod, and apologise for your lateness. The angels look away. And you step across the threshold. The air smells of decay and lavender and something else you can’t quite place. The dust has settled over everything in layers so thick you dread to touch anything, to rest for even a moment, so keenly aware of the stark imprint you would leave, the marks of your presence, so deep and clear. A sign of life amongst the judgemental dead. The Funeral Director does not comment upon your reluctance or care, though you know that nothing escapes his eyes. He leads you through the winding house towards the memorial room, the thick carpet crunching under your feet so loudly that it makes you wince, certain that it calls all attention to you. The Director’s steps are silent and dignified, the heavy fabric of his dark suit still and crisp as cold iron. The mourners are all lined up so very, very neatly, four chairs either side, twenty rows deep. Each and every one in pitch-black funeral best, grey-haired heads bowed in respect, and a steady river of restrained tears flowing gracefully from under lace veils. There is no ragged breathing, no agonised wails of deep and wounding grief, only the respectful stillness of those who have lost a great figure, the best of them. At the end of the room is the coffin, polished to a dreadful shine. There is no picture, no photograph of a smiling face casting beatitudes from beyond the grave. But the coffin is open, and from inside you can see the faintest hint of its occupant. No. It can’t be her. That’s not right. It’s not fair. One hundred and sixty pairs of misty eyes follow your slow procession down the room, bile rising higher and higher with each row you pass. Fifteen left, you can make out her hair, still the cold grey you remember so vividly. Ten rows left, and you can see her mouth, those lips that hide the grin that now flashes thorough your memory. Five more, and you can see her eyes. Why are her eyes open? They are lustreless and clouded, but still contain the cruelty you saw when she held the knife. Now you stand over her. There is no mistaking who it is that lies within that softly padded box. Beneath your threadbare suit and fear-stained shirt, the scars that lattice across your body ache and burn at the sight of the one who gave them to you. You feel the cross she once carved into your back open, and begin to weep its own bloody testament. You need to leave, to turn and flee and find the end to this necropolis of polite denials and vicious civility. Your vision swims as you turn from the face of death, and find your arm grasped by the Funeral Director. His hand moves and you move with it, unable to stand against the unyielding strength of his simplest gesture. He places you behind the podium, as the mourners stare at you, and you realise with a stab of agonised dread that they are waiting for your eulogy, their faces alight with hungry grief. ‘If you would like to say a few words…,’ the Director commands. You want to scream at them, curse them all for hypocrites. How can they not smell the blood she spilled? The path of scars and pain she left behind her every minute of her life? She was a monster, brutal and unrepentant. ‘She was…,’ you begin, a heavy pause before your voice betrays you. ‘The most kind and loving person I ever had the wonderful fortune to meet. Each life she touched was left brighter and more beautiful for her presence. She was… an angel.’ The tears are flowing freely now, as your eulogy continues. You cannot turn from the podium, cannot stop the gushing flow of love and forgiveness you vomit out into the nodding crowd. Behind you, a dark shadow moves, a shape that seems to slither from the coffin. You watch it coming closer from the corner of your eye, but you cannot stop your kind words. Not even as the needle-sharp teeth of her corpse begin to dig into your shoulder. [GROANING, THEN THE SOUND OF FLESH TEARING] [STATIC RISES AS THE ARCHIVIST EXHALES] ARCHIVIST Right, then. I’m done. Let’s see what we’ve got. [CLICK]
[CLICK] [THE WIND CONTINUES TO WHIRL] MARTIN Is that… ARCHIVIST [Pleased] Looks like it. MARTIN No, no… ARCHIVIST Yes. MARTIN It… can’t be real? ARCHIVIST And yet! MARTIN But, but it’s… it’s… ARCHIVIST Yup! MARTIN It - It’s like something out of a National Trust brochure. ARCHIVIST I’m pretty sure it is National Trust. Was, anyway. MARTIN But you don’t know for sure? ARCHIVIST No. I can’t see anything about it. If I had to guess… Upton House, maybe? I mean, country houses and stately homes not exactly my specialist subjects. MARTIN But it’s… it’s fine. It’s better than fine. T-There are trees. Look! Like, real trees! ARCHIVIST It’s beautiful. MARTIN It’s a trap. ARCHIVIST [Still delighted] No! It might be a trap. We just don’t know! MARTIN John… … ARCHIVIST [Resigned] Yeah, we’ll go around. MARTIN No… [Sigh] No, no, no. Let’s, let’s check it out. I mean, obviously it can’t be how it seems but… well… ARCHIVIST What if it is? MARTIN Exactly. ARCHIVIST A beautiful oasis, untouched by the end of the world. MARTIN It’s got to be worth a shot, right? [BIRDS TWITTER] ARCHIVIST Thank you. MARTIN Don’t fret it. It’s just nice to see you like this. [CLICK] [CLICK] [BIRDSOUND CONTINUES, CLEARER NOW] MARTIN So what now? I don’t see a doorbell. ARCHIVIST I’m not even sure this door actually opens. MARTIN But it should, it’s the front door! Besides, it’s the biggest one so if it’s not - ARCHIVIST Maybe they expect you to come in through the café or, I mean, they usually have a little gift shop or something. MARTIN Okay, so where would they be? ARCHIVIST No idea. MARTIN I thought you said you’d been here before. ARCHIVIST I said I might have been, and even if I have, I was twelve. MARTIN I’ll tell you what, it is more convenient when you know everything. [SOUNDS OF A DOOR UNLOCKING] ARCHIVIST [Pleased] Oh! Guess I was wrong. MARTIN Get ready. ARCHIVIST To do what? MARTIN What do you mean “What”? Smite them. If we need to. Wait, hang on, can you even smite people here? ARCHIVIST I-I don’t think so. [DOOR OPENS, MUSIC CAN BE HEARD PLAYING] MARTIN Oh. Oh no… ah… [FOOTSTEPS] ANNABELLE Good morning. MARTIN … Uh… Yes. ANNABELLE Come on in. He’s waiting for you. ARCHIVIST Oh. And who exactly - MARTIN J-J-John… John… ARCHIVIST What? MARTIN I think… um… Annabelle? Annabelle Cane? ANNABELLE Come on. He’s very excited, you know. [FOOTSTEPS AS SHE TURNS TO LEAVE] MARTIN So, do we follow or…? ARCHIVIST I… I suppose. [THEY FOLLOW, DOOR CREAKING AS THEY CLOSE IT, FOOTSTEPS ECHOING AS THEY GO] ARCHIVIST So… Annabelle, what are you playing at? What are you doing here? ANNABELLE I really wouldn’t worry about that. I’m just helping out around the place a little bit. Making myself at home. You know how it is. MARTIN John, I don’t like this. ANNABELLE You can relax, Mr. Blackwood. You’re safe here. MARTIN I don’t feel it. ANNABELLE Not something I can help, I’m afraid. MARTIN Though… John, do you feel, huh, do you feel hungry? ARCHIVIST I, um… Actually, I was going to say I’m feeling… really tired. ANNABELLE Not surprising. When’s the last time you slept? ARCHIVIST I don’t know. I mean weeks ago. Months maybe. ANNABELLE Well, there you go, then. Just in here. [CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC HAS BEEN GETTING LOUDER AS THEY APPROACH THE PARLOUR] [ANNABELLE OPENS THE DOOR] Your guests are here, Mikaele. [PIANO CEASES] SALESA Hoo-hoo-hoo! Excellent! Come in, come in! Ah, a pleasure to meet both of you. Thank you Annabelle. ANNABELLE You’re quite welcome. Have fun. ARCHIVIST [Extremely tired] Sorry, Mikaele… Salesa? SALESA The one and only. I must say I’ve been, uh… [THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP] ANNABELLE I did say this might happen. SALESA You did, you did. Well. So much for my big reveal. Shame. Ah, well, we can talk after they’ve slept, I suppose. Eugh. And had a bath. And some food. No rush. We have all the time in the world. [SOUNDS OF CROCKERY MOVING] [CLICK]
@@annabellecane799 looking at a wonderful woodcarving of a spider's web that looks to be your handiwork, judging by the black colour of the strings that elegantly tie everything together into an enjoyable narrative. I should say that the woodcarving is not made of wood. Details can slip sometimes when there is just too much to keep track of, I'm sure you understand. There's a meteorite a few million miles away from where I'm standing. It is beautiful :) its shape reminds me of a circus bear. Do you like the circus?
@@annabellecane799 excuse my meandering 😅 I just like to hear words flow and myself talk, unlike my associate Fairchild. Let me rephrase. I'm at Hilltop Road. It looks cozy, well done you guys.
![💫⛅ Alice In Wonderland Reading #1 | Bedtime Stories with Multie (/Addie) [Multie | ENVTuber] ⛅💫](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/c7YkM-q30Lw/mqdefault.jpg)
I love that, after Jon makes his "LITERALLY EVERYTHING" joke and they're laughing, you can hear one of the nearby tombs laughing too. Good to know the judgemental graves have a sense of humor.
Scary! Or it could've been an angel?
I just noticed it it’s both really funny and scary as hell
Oh my fucking god that’s so scary hehehehehehehe
6:21 SORRY! just needed a timestamp! * laughs *
I'm so glad others heard the low laughter, too! I rewound and played that section several times to make sure it wasn't my imagination!😂
I spy, with my little eye... *literally everything*
*martin giggles cutely*
I actually snickered irl, you'd expect that to be a fandom joke outside of his typical humour, but no he canonically said that
God I love that line
Martin's reaction was exactly the same as mine
@@XerxesTexasToast martin was all of us in that moment
“Cheater”
“I DID NOT”
The indignance lmao
Ayo 1000th like hell yeah
Jon being happy not knowing what's next is the most adorable thing ever
I would argue that Jon and Martin’s little eye spy game was the most adorable thing ever
Both. Both is good.
The weirdly specific anxiety of going to a funeral of someone who abused you
Not only that, the judgement of what you say, you hate this person with as much of your being as possible but if you say even one ill word, use one small tone that may not be what they want to hear they will destroy you
Being unable to tell the truth for fear of others’s reactions, being kept in line by the invisible restraints of a society that doesn’t have your best interests at heart
Really glad Martin didn't hear this one.
@@rorygiambalvo2955 ikr i was so worried he would hear
There are a few that should not be surprised if a P is marked on their gravesite with salt water…
The JonMartin fluff in this episode nearly rotted my teeth with how sweet it was
@Is me ? the entities would also accept your tooth decay
@@broblerone413 maybe a bit of fear of losing your tooth, as a small treat
@@lyx8039anatomy students…
I just realised something....
There's a new world record of the longest someones stayed awake in the tma universe now
Bold of you to assume the world record holder wasn't already jon
and Basira is still going
Literally the beginning of this episode had absolutely no business being THAT cute
I love the transcripts:
*Jon:* Fine. I spy with my little eye… Literally everything.
[MARTIN LAUGHS]
[THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS]
[A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER STOPS WITH TENSE SIGHS]
Ohh- no wonder they immediately stopped
I love how all of these avatars just living their best life cottage core style
Lolll
Avatars of The Aesthetic
Honestly, my favorite episode. The eye-spy thing, Jon being genuinely excited and Martin being happy for them, Salacia putting on a show and the two of em just falling over. I like to imagionJon tried leaning on Martin for support, then Martin falling over and Jon falling on him like a soft pillow. And Anna and Salacio just looking at each other like "Whelp, kinda figure that would happen"
Salesa is living the cottage core dream!
Theres a lot of cottage core appearances jn this season. Cottage core is the 16th fear.
The beginning is the funniest shit ever. You can hear and FEEL both their faces going literally ".___________." when the tomb starts laughing too
This one fucked me up, the idea that you are so programed that even after someone who abused you is dead you can't speak against them so afraid that they will find you even through the absolutness of death itself
Is anyone talking abt the ending???
They literally just feel right asleep lmao
yeah their bodily needs caught up to them all at once they just collapsed
"i spy with my little eye...LITERALLY EVERYTHING" lmao love it
"Lead on scooby lets go solve a mystery oOoOoOoOoOOoO" martin you little sarcastic bastard i love you so much.
CUTE! JON! RIGHTS! i have so much love for this episode, martin is so besotted with jon's excitement, even if he's suspicious of jon's blind spot. the statement itself is rly good, like damn, it sure is gross how often survivors of abuse have to hold their tongues as their abuser is venerated because it's 'rude to speak ill of the dead.' also mikaele's attempt at at putting on a show for the lads is such a great moment, and i'm forever grateful that jmart get a little break from the apocalypse to have a nap, a meal, and a bath.
I just found out that jmart is the ship name and where I'm from jmart is the name of a convience store
@@l0vket a;lskfjfk it's like, the goofy shorthand ship name, used precisely because it sounds like a convenience store name! glad to know that's manifested in reality. 'jonmartin' is probably the most commonly used ship name, basic as it is. way back in the day, fans referred to it as 'the dinghy' because it was such a tiny ship and wasn't expected to ever be canon. if they'd only known...
I know that jonmartin is like the official ship name but i refer to them as apocalypse boyfriends
@@l0vket i saw people use [fabric rustles] for them, which is very cute
@@lilaboxx same
also jmart is a freaking hilarious ship name lol
finally, some good fucking food
*rewatches jmart fluff and sobs uncontrollably*
Hearing them both laughing at Jon’s “I spy with my little eye… *literally everything*” cured my depression. At least until I heard someone from the tombs laugh as well, lol.
And Jon’s cute excitement !!!! I can’t, it’s too much. I’m still suspicious, of course, but the cuteness is the main impression this episode leaves.
And the statement of the domain was really cool as well, a really interesting specific fear. I liked it a lot.
The eldritch fear of being late to a social gathering
THEM LAUGHING
THE SCOOBY-DOO JOKES
My heart had melted
I very much had a moment of going "Mikaele Salesa?!" when Annabelle greeted him. I had hoped he'd show up at some point, but assumed he wouldn't after being reported dead. I suppose "reported" is the key word here. Never did see a body.
The moment with the corpse also laughing is like the meme where you share a meme in your Facebook group chat, and then Mark Zuckerberg types "haha, good one."
Omgggggg who gave them the right to be that cute
And we go from “that look is adorable on you btw” to “away and around and away they stretch-“
Also also I stand by the fact that Martin kissed Jon on the cheek before walking off to let him do his thing
Am I imagining things, or when Jon made that I spy joke, I heard an extra muffled laugh
I like to think it was a frog listening in was Jonah Magnus through the frog and that’s who laughed.
It was one of the tombs, according to the transcript 😂
I love being able to have this world and see everything in my head
That's the most cryptic thing I've read in a while
FINALLY GET THAT SHIT IN MY EARS
oh god why did my brain make me think you meant literally get shit in your ears
@@broblerone413 BROB IVE BEEN SEING TO MANY OF YOUR COMMENTS WHAT THE FUCK
@@lyx8039 lol I recently got into TMA and when i listened to it i was recklessly scrolling through the comments with no regard for the possible spoilers i might recieve
@@broblerone413 me too
Salesa really said "You guys are stinky" lol. Great episode, it was psychologically fascinating and nice to have some lighter tension then from the past few statements!
Jon's still human enough, then!
This episode was so nice. The "literally everything" joke, how excited Jon was about the mystery blind spot, and then at the end they both fell asleep in the middle of Salesa's big reveal. More positive funny episodes please
I shall forever respect Alex for being able to say Hatsune Moo Cow with a straight face
4:48 Thank you again Mr. Alex
.... one sec. My brain just put 2 and 2 together.
The payphone, near the beginning of the season, it was Obviously the spider, Martin saw it, didn't answer it. Jon asked of he answerd it and he said he didnt.
Second time, Annabel called on phone, trying to play a horrible attempt at mind games, Martin chucks his phone, Jon dosnt know about it till later.
The theater episode, Martin goes exploring, really dosnt like what he sees (like really).
This episode, Martin wants to avoid the oasis type place, but Jon wants to go in.
Now I know alot of these points have things have other stuff involved in them (like Jon's curiosity to see what he cant see)
But here is what I think. Jon is being influenced by the spider, and Martin is not. They can't for some reason, because he might be so much like them.
Another thing to add. Maybe the urge to spill his horrors into the tape recorder isnt just by the influence of the eye, but maybe also from the spider.
God damn it its 4 am I need sleep 0-0'
“So much for my big reveal…shame” killed me lol. 😂
Adorable JonMartin moments... we love that!
Also, I hope I don't have to take this back, but Annabelle sounds kinda nice?? And I didn't expect Salesa to sound like that at all, very nice voice!
oh well..
@@noahisageeksloth annabelle did nothing wrong
The FLUFF at the start of this ep had me dead
I’m doing modeling for a portrait class at my college rn and it was so hard not to smile and giggle during this
this episode had me giggling audibly on the bus lmao
Jon and Martin are so cute, I REALLY hope nothing BAD happens to them at the end of the podcast… 👀
AWWWW JON AND MARTIN ARE SO ADORABLE IN THIS EPISODE I CANTTTT
Jon x Martin gives me life. Jon was SO CUTE!!!!
Those angels remind me of the weeping angels in Doctor Who...
I was gonna say!
I wonder if they influenced this episode
"LITERALLY EVERYTHING"
Jon somehow still has a sense of humor about his creepy Eye powers
Omg why am I only realising near the end of the statement why Martin hates this place 😢
This show is slowly but surely thawing my icy gay heart.
Yes! I knew you are alive Salesa! I am so excited to hear what he has to say.
Also, Martin and Jon's banter is sooo adorable in this episode.
"i DID NOHT >:0!!" god i love this stupid little podcast.
Martins “woooo”s were so cute 😭
Bro the Eye-Spy game 😭 ❤️
I love the fluff between Jon and Martin, it's the cutest thing.
yes yes this episode is very good but "hatsoony moocow"
Ngl, I'm in love with this episode.
I needed this.
2:31 died laughing and then immediately went "woht the fu-?" At the extra laugh and then died again XD
Jon is so excited; love it
love this episode, when they found the oasis and how its real made me so happy for them. The birds in the bg and piano music made me calm and nice.
Omg the Jonmartin fluff has me squealing. Also interesting that Jonathan isn't just Ace, hes apparently sex averse?
Oh, how did you know? It is said in some extra episode or something? I didn't know and as an ace myself I find that fact quite exciting if it is canon!
@@shiroshiriflowerpot8429 If you listen to the episode, unless im mishearing, martin goes in for a PDA, and jon clearly states that...affections...are off the table
@@shiroshiriflowerpot8429 2:41 - 2:50
@@jessiecorvus9262 I listened closely and I'm pretty sure Martin says "Right, forgot levity is off the table" and Jon says "Mhm." I think its just Jon stopping laughing abruptly and Martin reacting.
@@jessiecorvus9262 raven wyrick is right, martin says 'levity.' they were laughing together at jon's cute stupid joke, probably hugging or leaning against each other, and then something from within one of the tombs starts laughing along with them, ruining the moment and reminding them that they're still walking through a horrible fearscape. evidenced by all the fabric rustles, jon and martin have been plenty affectionate this past season, to the point where he got defensive about their rights to pda:
(ep 177)
[fabric rustles]
basira: you done?
archivist: can we not have a moment?
that said, the conversation in episode 106 where it's revealed that jon's ace implied pretty heavily that he's sex averse. at the very least, he definitely had boundaries against having sex while he was dating georgie. on a different note, i think all the traumatic injuries and multiple kidnappings from the past 4 seasons have left jon pretty touch adverse in general, but he's fairly clingy and affectionate with martin because he feels safe with him.
THESE TWO DORKS I LOVE THEM TwT
I love these two so much 🥺
this one made me cackle with delight so many times
Oh, this makes me feel so horrible. I'm having to slow my breathing and wipe my eyes. This would be my own private hell if I had to do this for my father.
Sending you virtual hugs
Well, that's adorable 😌
E V E R Y T H I N G
that game of i spy was the cutest thing ever
The angels guarding against the mourners disregard are a mood.
Salacer! John Martin! Annabelle! Yay!
I completely forgot that the Blind Spot hadn't happened yet! I got all caught up on the RQ website and thought it had happened already.
I can't help but wonder who has the most sway in this one. Is it a mixture of an Eye/End, or is there another in as well?
Probably the Buried, I would guess. It has precedent for manifesting in graveyards, and the whole stifling small-town "we don't talk about that" thing reminds me a lot of both the town with the hole and the man drowning in debt.
the wiki lists the end, eye, buried, and web! (although it’s not explicitly canon, just fan speculation). the end because of the necropolis, corpses, and funeral, the eye because of the always-watching angels, the buried because of the tombs and being trapped under the social obligation of not speaking ill of the dead, and the web because of being compelled to praise the deceased against their will
@@faxonii I feel like the Web might also be listed for the appearance of Anabelle (unless your explanation is the one given on it) but also I do find the Web being part of it interesting.
I mean, maybe also Web, because of the way they were forced to say all that stuff?
god i'm so happy with the cute moments we keep getting that l'm worried for the moment it might get ripped away from us. like maybe animes have ruined me but i fear it won't end well
2:35 third voice laughing?
It was just to remind them theyer in the place theyer in, its no one specific just an erie laugh to scare them i think
the transcript says “[A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS]”!
Jon: I spy with my little eye literally everything
Me: well what about Georgie Melanie most likely the admiral Elias Annabelle the weird eyeball place the weird safe from apocalypse place
Jon and Martin being cute gives me life! Also, Annabelle kinda sounds like Basira? Anyway, MIKAEL SALAESA voice reveal?!!!! AAAAHHH
This my first "THEY ARE SO CUTE" reaction!😂 I love them ❤
annabelle has such a pretty voice omg
Hi Alex!
And Jon hi Jon!
oh god it's the french
Now you got me picturing Salesa sitting in Upton House going "Oo hoo hoo!" like that scene with the French controlled castle in Monty Python's The Quest for the Holy Grail.
I spent a lot of 2022 listening to the Magnus Archives, and when new years hit, I had finally gotten around to the final season. Yet something happened when I got to this episode: I got bored. It just didn't interest me unlike any other episode, bar that fantastic joke at the start of course. So I started to listen to the episode over and over again, trying to pay attention or finally get hooked, but I'd loose interest half way through and shelve it for later; eventually leading me to loose interest in the series as a whole and take a break from listening to it for a few months. I went to my first funeral in April. It was a very complex experience to say the least, and today I just so happened to finally listen to this podcast again; going back to that one episode I couldn't remember much about. To put it simply, the listening experience was very, very different...
One thing that helps for me is looking up a summary of the episode on the wiki it helps a lot if I keep falling asleep during it or if it gets so chaotic or surreal that it gets confusing.
Yeah, not everything grabs. And the sound in action scenes is confusing. I just tune out if its poetic fear fluff and read the transcript if something real happened. This one was weird tho, like its so niche, maybe for just this one guy..
i fucking love this guys accent
Real 🗣️🗣️
Hey Rusty Quill, You probably won't see this, but I need your advice.
I'm new to the series, up to season 3. I just learned about the entities and became obsessed with the Spiral.
However, that's also when a bunch of spiders are starting to appear all over my home. I'm not even kidding. I've seen them first on the fridge, then the stairwell, then the ground outside, then the sink. It's been going on for a week, is it a sign that the Web is calling for me?
that'll be awesome
@Purple Peep no i wanna know lmao
Buy two cats. My cats love to eat spiders.
@@harrymason4300 noo i like spiders
@@amniamin22 eat them yourself. feel as they crawl and weave within you. feel their bites and feel the webbing wrap around your flesh. then, you will be one. then, you will be whole.
@@TalosAcephalos Finally someone of culture XD
Okay but like Solana sounds like a big ol mob boss,,
Okay 1 4 season long slow burn and apocalypse were worth this fluff 2 so what aspect of the end was that? No speaking ill of the dead was huge part if it 3 holy shut sales survived? And works with Annabelle?
They're so cute
hello??? um?????? statement and creepy tombs aside, anyone wanna talk about the end??????
i mean annabelle didn't *sound* like her? i could be mistaken but with everything else happening at the end there um???????
Annabelle didnt sound like herself at all. Im also confused
[CLICK]
[FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING ON GRAVEL, AS THE WIND WHISTLES]
MARTIN
Hey, hang on!
ARCHIVIST
Oh, right you are.
MARTIN
Sorry, I just don’t want to lose sight of you. You keep disappearing behind tombs and that.
ARCHIVIST
I’ll try to slow down.
MARTIN
Thank you. I really rather not end up lost in a… what did you call it?
ARCHIVIST
Necropolis. It’s like a cemetery but all the tombs are above ground. New Orleans has a very impressive one. Or… had.
MARTIN
Hmm.
ARCHIVIST
It’s usually for places where the ground floods often or is too swampy for burial.
MARTIN
[Sarcastically] Pffft, oh yeah, yeah, I’m sure this place is just here because of all the flooding swamps.
ARCHIVIST
No, obviously. This place is a manifestation of -
MARTIN
No. Nope.
ARCHIVIST
I understand. Of course.
MARTIN
Sorry, I’ve just… I’ve been hearing altogether too many of your statements lately, and yeah -
ARCHIVIST
Yeah. No, no, I… I get it.
MARTIN
Just a little break.
ARCHIVIST
That’s fair enough.
MARTIN
In fact, this time, when you start to… intone, I’m going to find a nice soundproof mausoleum, and just, just chill with whatever horrors they’ve got lurking in there. Y’know. Maybe play a bit of I Spy or something.
[THE ARCHIVIST CHUCKLES]
MARTIN
I-I’ll start. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with… T-
ARCHIVIST
Tombs.
MARTIN
Cheater.
ARCHIVIST
[Indignant] I did not!
MARTIN
Your turn.
ARCHIVIST
Fine. I spy with my little eye… Literally everything.
[MARTIN LAUGHS]
[THE ARCHIVIST LAUGHS]
[A NEARBY TOMB LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER STOPS WITH TENSE SIGHS]
MARTIN
Right.
Sorry.
Forgot. Levity is just… off the cards.
[ARCHIVIST NOISE OF AGREEMENT]
ARCHIVIST
How are you doing? About…
MARTIN
Yeah, yeah… Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m not sure how to feel. Just… pressing on, you know?
ARCHIVIST
I do.
MARTIN
…
Do you think she’ll be okay without us?
ARCHIVIST
She’s made it this far.
MARTIN
Yeah.
I just worry.
ARCHIVIST
Me too. But I’m, uh, keeping an eye on her, so…
[HEAVY STONE SCRAPES AS A SARCOPHAGUS THUDS OPENS]
MARTIN
Is that…?
ARCHIVIST
It’s not for us. Let’s keep moving.
MARTIN
Yeah, alright, come -
Hey. Hey! I said slow down.
ARCHIVIST
S-Sorry.
MARTIN
How exactly does a leg wound make you faster?
ARCHIVIST
I just want to get through here quickly.
MARTIN
Really? I mean, it seems pretty calm apart from… Wait. Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no. It’s not more children, is it?
ARCHIVIST
No, no. The necropolis is fine. Uh, I mean, well, obviously it’s, it’s bad, i-i-it’s horrible…
MARTIN
S-So why the hurry? Where are we going?
ARCHIVIST
Er… well…
MARTIN
Come on, don’t play coy.
ARCHIVIST
I’m not being coy, it’s just, well…
MARTIN
Wait. Wait… are you excited?
ARCHIVIST
A bit. Maybe.
MARTIN
[Suspicious] Why? What’s next?
ARCHIVIST
[Excited] I don’t know.
MARTIN
In what way?
ARCHIVIST
All the ways. I don’t know what’s next.
MARTIN
What? But, like, you, you can see “literally everything,” so -
ARCHIVIST
I-I can! But it’s a blind spot! No idea why. I-I didn’t realise until we got closer, and I was looking at our route, but… I can’t see the area after the necropolis. None of it. It’s like the inside of the Panopticon, or, or wherever Georgie and Melanie are hiding.
MARTIN
Or Annabelle.
ARCHIVIST
…Or Annabelle.
MARTIN
You think the others might be there?
ARCHIVIST
[Delighted] I have no idea. It’s a mystery!
MARTIN
Just so you know, this… this is an adorable look on you.
ARCHIVIST
[Impatient] Yes, yes, yes, yes…
MARTIN
[Humouring] Alright, then. Lead on Scooby, let’s go solve a mystery, ooooh…
ARCHIVIST
Actually, no, hold on.
MARTIN
[Sighing] Of course.
ARCHIVIST
Sorry to be a burden.
MARTIN
Fine, fine. Just… stay in this… avenue while you do it. Don’t want to lose sight of you.
ARCHIVIST
Of course.
MARTIN
Not when there’s a mystery on the loose, oooh…
ARCHIVIST
Thank you.
[FOOTSTEPS AS MARTIN BACKS OFF, AND THE STATIC RISES]
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
Away and around and away they stretch. Row upon row of waiting granite and watching marble. The names are carved with steady-handed reverence, and the dates do not make sense, but… bite your tongue. Read the epitaphs quietly to yourself in a respectful, solemn whisper: ‘loving son’, ‘noted philanthropist’, ‘honoured hero’, and do not question them out loud. For these graves, they are not silent - they are listening.
Stop a moment, and see the stone angels perched above you, staring down from the harsh corners of each mausoleum roof, looking out over the avenues of darkened, not-quite-moonlit, paving slabs, which buckle ever so slightly every step, as though the soil beneath is damp and yielding. Hungry. The angels have no expressions, their faces worn and pockmarked from the cold and vicious rain that finds the time to fall with disinterested cruelty at times upon their post. But the swords that each one carries do not wear, nor rust, nor blunt. They keep their eager vigil, desperate for a comment, a word, a breath out of place against which they might strike. Upon each blade the words stand out in stark and silvered letters: NIHIL NISI BONUM.
[FAINT FOOTSTEPS HURRY]
Walk faster now, pick up the pace, for not all the tombs are silent, not all the graves are at peace. Is that a voice, calling sweetly from beyond the iron gate, telling you that it has something to show you, secrets that it wishes to share?
[FAINT SOUNDS OF SONE SCRAPING]
Just knock and ask to enter. Or try your best not to hear, to think nothing but good and admirable thoughts of those who wait in monuments to their own virtue. There now, a face, pale and stained with age and death and sin, no, not sin, never sin. Misjudgement. Indiscretion. Misunderstanding. Never sin. Never evil. It grins and smiles and nods its head, with broken yellow teeth. It is a smile that wants you closer, wants you near. A bloated, purple tongue that tries to whisper reassurance, but can only gurgle promises that smell like sour fruit.
[GRAVEYARD SOUNDS AS THE WIND GUSTS, CHAINS CLINK, WOOD CREAKS]
How big is this place? How many miles of eerie edifice stand between you and freedom? Some doors lie cracked, shattered outwards, their occupants kept in check by ancient chains binding their brittle, bony limbs. Don’t go too close - keep to the middle of the narrowing alley. The stench that rolls from these broken crypts is unlike anything you have ever known, like lakes of fly-blown blood left to bake in the unrelenting sun. Keep it to yourself, though. Don’t mention it. No point making a scene. The angels wouldn’t like it. Besides, those are the tombs with the longest epitaphs, so they must have been good people.
Watch for the stones, the ones beneath your feet that sink and shift on the swampy ground. With every step their firmness seems more and more a question, and the cracks that cut across them grow deeper and deeper. Don’t step on the cracks, or goodness knows what will happen. And you are surrounded by goodness, are you not?
Your steps are as quick as respect will allow, and echo dutifully down the avenues. How much further to the gates? How much longer must you watch your every thought, lest it bring a sneer to your lips the angels might take as scorn. It must be close, simply turn at the next crypt and you should see it.
[DISTANT SOUND OF A CROWD MURMURING]
Wait. No. That isn’t right. There should be the gates, the threshold to leave these silent rows, but instead what rises in front of you is a house, tall and angular, with jagged peaks of darked wood, and windows from which no light escapes. It calls itself a home, but it lies. The funeral home houses only the passing congregations of sycophants and weepers, desperate to cleanse their own iniquities in the salt-tinged flood of gloating tears. You turn to walk away, to hurry back and disappear into the tombs that now seem almost welcoming, when behind you comes the inescapable, the inevitable sound of an old wooden door being opened.
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
‘Come in,’ the Funeral Director intones, ‘The service is about to begin. You are expected.’
The faceless gaze of each sepulchre angel fixes itself upon you, and you feel yourself turning back towards the house, though every muscle in your body screams at you to run. Instead you nod, and apologise for your lateness. The angels look away. And you step across the threshold.
The air smells of decay and lavender and something else you can’t quite place. The dust has settled over everything in layers so thick you dread to touch anything, to rest for even a moment, so keenly aware of the stark imprint you would leave, the marks of your presence, so deep and clear. A sign of life amongst the judgemental dead.
The Funeral Director does not comment upon your reluctance or care, though you know that nothing escapes his eyes. He leads you through the winding house towards the memorial room, the thick carpet crunching under your feet so loudly that it makes you wince, certain that it calls all attention to you. The Director’s steps are silent and dignified, the heavy fabric of his dark suit still and crisp as cold iron.
The mourners are all lined up so very, very neatly, four chairs either side, twenty rows deep. Each and every one in pitch-black funeral best, grey-haired heads bowed in respect, and a steady river of restrained tears flowing gracefully from under lace veils. There is no ragged breathing, no agonised wails of deep and wounding grief, only the respectful stillness of those who have lost a great figure, the best of them.
At the end of the room is the coffin, polished to a dreadful shine. There is no picture, no photograph of a smiling face casting beatitudes from beyond the grave. But the coffin is open, and from inside you can see the faintest hint of its occupant.
No. It can’t be her. That’s not right. It’s not fair. One hundred and sixty pairs of misty eyes follow your slow procession down the room, bile rising higher and higher with each row you pass. Fifteen left, you can make out her hair, still the cold grey you remember so vividly. Ten rows left, and you can see her mouth, those lips that hide the grin that now flashes thorough your memory. Five more, and you can see her eyes. Why are her eyes open? They are lustreless and clouded, but still contain the cruelty you saw when she held the knife.
Now you stand over her. There is no mistaking who it is that lies within that softly padded box. Beneath your threadbare suit and fear-stained shirt, the scars that lattice across your body ache and burn at the sight of the one who gave them to you. You feel the cross she once carved into your back open, and begin to weep its own bloody testament.
You need to leave, to turn and flee and find the end to this necropolis of polite denials and vicious civility. Your vision swims as you turn from the face of death, and find your arm grasped by the Funeral Director. His hand moves and you move with it, unable to stand against the unyielding strength of his simplest gesture. He places you behind the podium, as the mourners stare at you, and you realise with a stab of agonised dread that they are waiting for your eulogy, their faces alight with hungry grief.
‘If you would like to say a few words…,’ the Director commands.
You want to scream at them, curse them all for hypocrites. How can they not smell the blood she spilled? The path of scars and pain she left behind her every minute of her life? She was a monster, brutal and unrepentant.
‘She was…,’ you begin, a heavy pause before your voice betrays you. ‘The most kind and loving person I ever had the wonderful fortune to meet. Each life she touched was left brighter and more beautiful for her presence. She was… an angel.’
The tears are flowing freely now, as your eulogy continues. You cannot turn from the podium, cannot stop the gushing flow of love and forgiveness you vomit out into the nodding crowd. Behind you, a dark shadow moves, a shape that seems to slither from the coffin. You watch it coming closer from the corner of your eye, but you cannot stop your kind words. Not even as the needle-sharp teeth of her corpse begin to dig into your shoulder.
[GROANING, THEN THE SOUND OF FLESH TEARING]
[STATIC RISES AS THE ARCHIVIST EXHALES]
ARCHIVIST
Right, then. I’m done. Let’s see what we’ve got.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[THE WIND CONTINUES TO WHIRL]
MARTIN
Is that…
ARCHIVIST
[Pleased] Looks like it.
MARTIN
No, no…
ARCHIVIST
Yes.
MARTIN
It… can’t be real?
ARCHIVIST
And yet!
MARTIN
But, but it’s… it’s…
ARCHIVIST
Yup!
MARTIN
It - It’s like something out of a National Trust brochure.
ARCHIVIST
I’m pretty sure it is National Trust. Was, anyway.
MARTIN
But you don’t know for sure?
ARCHIVIST
No. I can’t see anything about it. If I had to guess… Upton House, maybe? I mean, country houses and stately homes not exactly my specialist subjects.
MARTIN
But it’s… it’s fine. It’s better than fine. T-There are trees. Look! Like, real trees!
ARCHIVIST
It’s beautiful.
MARTIN
It’s a trap.
ARCHIVIST
[Still delighted] No! It might be a trap. We just don’t know!
MARTIN
John…
…
ARCHIVIST
[Resigned] Yeah, we’ll go around.
MARTIN
No… [Sigh] No, no, no. Let’s, let’s check it out. I mean, obviously it can’t be how it seems but… well…
ARCHIVIST
What if it is?
MARTIN
Exactly.
ARCHIVIST
A beautiful oasis, untouched by the end of the world.
MARTIN
It’s got to be worth a shot, right?
[BIRDS TWITTER]
ARCHIVIST
Thank you.
MARTIN
Don’t fret it. It’s just nice to see you like this.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[BIRDSOUND CONTINUES, CLEARER NOW]
MARTIN
So what now? I don’t see a doorbell.
ARCHIVIST
I’m not even sure this door actually opens.
MARTIN
But it should, it’s the front door! Besides, it’s the biggest one so if it’s not -
ARCHIVIST
Maybe they expect you to come in through the café or, I mean, they usually have a little gift shop or something.
MARTIN
Okay, so where would they be?
ARCHIVIST
No idea.
MARTIN
I thought you said you’d been here before.
ARCHIVIST
I said I might have been, and even if I have, I was twelve.
MARTIN
I’ll tell you what, it is more convenient when you know everything.
[SOUNDS OF A DOOR UNLOCKING]
ARCHIVIST
[Pleased] Oh! Guess I was wrong.
MARTIN
Get ready.
ARCHIVIST
To do what?
MARTIN
What do you mean “What”? Smite them. If we need to.
Wait, hang on, can you even smite people here?
ARCHIVIST
I-I don’t think so.
[DOOR OPENS, MUSIC CAN BE HEARD PLAYING]
MARTIN
Oh. Oh no… ah…
[FOOTSTEPS]
ANNABELLE
Good morning.
MARTIN
…
Uh… Yes.
ANNABELLE
Come on in. He’s waiting for you.
ARCHIVIST
Oh. And who exactly -
MARTIN
J-J-John… John…
ARCHIVIST
What?
MARTIN
I think… um… Annabelle? Annabelle Cane?
ANNABELLE
Come on. He’s very excited, you know.
[FOOTSTEPS AS SHE TURNS TO LEAVE]
MARTIN
So, do we follow or…?
ARCHIVIST
I… I suppose.
[THEY FOLLOW, DOOR CREAKING AS THEY CLOSE IT, FOOTSTEPS ECHOING AS THEY GO]
ARCHIVIST
So… Annabelle, what are you playing at? What are you doing here?
ANNABELLE
I really wouldn’t worry about that. I’m just helping out around the place a little bit. Making myself at home. You know how it is.
MARTIN
John, I don’t like this.
ANNABELLE
You can relax, Mr. Blackwood. You’re safe here.
MARTIN
I don’t feel it.
ANNABELLE
Not something I can help, I’m afraid.
MARTIN
Though… John, do you feel, huh, do you feel hungry?
ARCHIVIST
I, um… Actually, I was going to say I’m feeling… really tired.
ANNABELLE
Not surprising. When’s the last time you slept?
ARCHIVIST
I don’t know. I mean weeks ago. Months maybe.
ANNABELLE
Well, there you go, then.
Just in here.
[CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC HAS BEEN GETTING LOUDER AS THEY APPROACH THE PARLOUR]
[ANNABELLE OPENS THE DOOR]
Your guests are here, Mikaele.
[PIANO CEASES]
SALESA
Hoo-hoo-hoo! Excellent! Come in, come in! Ah, a pleasure to meet both of you. Thank you Annabelle.
ANNABELLE
You’re quite welcome. Have fun.
ARCHIVIST
[Extremely tired] Sorry, Mikaele… Salesa?
SALESA
The one and only. I must say I’ve been, uh…
[THE ARCHIVIST AND MARTIN COLLAPSE WITH A SMALL SNORE, FAST ASLEEP]
ANNABELLE
I did say this might happen.
SALESA
You did, you did. Well. So much for my big reveal.
Shame. Ah, well, we can talk after they’ve slept, I suppose. Eugh. And had a bath. And some food. No rush. We have all the time in the world.
[SOUNDS OF CROCKERY MOVING]
[CLICK]
thank u ^_^
happy jon :((((((
a mimir
Its baaaaack
Oh, just on the cusp of a big revel, what a shame. 😏
Salesa did NOT have that accent in his previous statements, right??
ITS SALESA!!!
What fear is this I'm gonna die, w-what I can't pick it out
...who is Salesa again? Sorry, I'm really bad with names n,n"
Very late lmao but he was featured in various statements as a seller of "antiques", usually items with powers of the entities
Who a RQ held Jonny at gunpoint and forced him to write this?
Man I want Annabel and mikaele to be good so badly they sound so nice but I feel like that’s probably an act
Martin please lmaoo
Why they suddenly got hungry and sleepy in this place. They didn't when the apocalypse started. Kinda suspicious to me.
20$ you can’t listen to the start of the episode without smiling. Any takers?
Note for later : relisten this episode the next time I visit the cemetery of Montmartre
Should have listend to me...
Oh, hey, Anabelle! How're you doing these days?
@@sourwitch2340 Hi! Well, you know aiding the old man and talking with the mother of puppets. And you?
@@annabellecane799 looking at a wonderful woodcarving of a spider's web that looks to be your handiwork, judging by the black colour of the strings that elegantly tie everything together into an enjoyable narrative. I should say that the woodcarving is not made of wood. Details can slip sometimes when there is just too much to keep track of, I'm sure you understand. There's a meteorite a few million miles away from where I'm standing. It is beautiful :) its shape reminds me of a circus bear. Do you like the circus?
@@annabellecane799 excuse my meandering 😅 I just like to hear words flow and myself talk, unlike my associate Fairchild. Let me rephrase. I'm at Hilltop Road. It looks cozy, well done you guys.
@@sourwitch2340 Ah... Hill Top Road? Interresting place isn't it? Should visit it someday. Also, how is your domain?
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