THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES
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- Опубликовано: 12 апр 2021
- Case ########-30 Interactions with various survivors, recorded on location. Content warnings: - Cults - Self-recrimination - Emotional manipulation - Mentions of: therapy, innuendo, paranoia & anxiety, instances of memory loss, mild vicarious embarrassment, mild language, ableism, death, mass suffering, physical violence, murder, apocalypse.
Transcripts: PDF - cutt.ly/WjWmr5Y DOC - cutt.ly/qjWmdQ9
Thanks to this week's Patrons: Chris Pawlus, Hope Landers, Natasha Lamont, Brad Bradley, Lindsay Mayer, India Jane Boeckh, Anna Williams, Rook Mogavero, Stephanie, Andrea Hernandez, Ashley Martinez, Chekhov, fig, Rory Teej, Tess, Sumi Coal, Samantha Robie, Molly Young, jaimedraw, gabi, Rebecca Compton, elkwoods, Ursula Brimson, Saoirse, Gabrielle Cathie, Eleanor Carroll, Sasha Aretti, Jehan Keziere, Bevinwrath, Caitlin, Si, Emma Schindler, Klara Boz, Rowan Monk, eliot, Victoria Toomajian, Madeline Knight, Maya, Jess McLean, wovenwillows, Emily Moyer, Vicky Gitre, Elijah Tomshack, Kate Hosack, Siobhan, Aus, Emory Kjelsberg, Ali, Krista Goalby, Katherine Rose. If you'd like to join them visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill
Edited this week by Nico Vettese, Elizabeth Moffatt,; Brock Winstead & Alexander J Newall
Written by Jonathan Sims and directed by Alexander J Newall
Produced by Lowri Ann Davies
Sensitivity consultation by Alexander Linde Nielsen
Performances: - "The Archivist" - Jonathan Sims; "Martin Blackwood" - Alexander J. Newall - "Melanie King" - Lydia Nicholas - "Georgie Barker" - Sasha Sienna - "Laverne" - Helen Gould - "Celia" - Lowri Ann Davies - "Arun" - Anil Godigamuwe
Sound effects this week by 190042, altfuture, bbrocer, bdavis, blukotek, conleec, Fedor_Ogon, FlashTrauma, Fugeni, indirect, InspectorJ, j1987, kmckinney7, kyles, LampEight, luke_harris_01, MegaPenguin13, ondrosik, p1llowt4lk, pushkin, redcheek, rkeato, Samgd14, sandyrb, savataivanov, Septem36, SpliceSound, sturmankin, thatjeffcarter, Timmeh515, unkleceeg, vckhaze, WilliamJMeyer, Yuval & previously credited artists via freesound.org Additional sound effects from www.zapsplat.com
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Развлечения
Melanie: "These were not the early relationship hurdles I expected."
Mahtin: THANK GOD I'M NOT ALONE
"And now my therapist thinks I am the chosen one"
Not a very professional therapist they are
I KNEW that therapist would be back!
I read your comment in the voice of Yoda
Martin and Melanie: mlm 🤝 wlw solidarity
we love to see it
i've been wanting a friendship between them since a little after Melanie was introduced, especially them talking about relationship stuff. it made me so happy to hear that this episode!
S3 melanie and martin were very much mlm wlw hostility though LMAO
OKAY JUST LOOKED IT UP.
Celia is the girl from 100 who Martin was trying to get to talk about the ghost for a statement while Jon wasn't there. That's why he was surprised her name was Celia.
Thank you so much for finding that out, it was driving me nuts!
This could just be a dead end, even though almost nothing in The Magnus Archives/Protocol is ever a dead end, but Celia is also one of the newer workers in The Magnus Protocol.
Her full name is Celia Ripley.
I think she MIGHT be a little important.☝🤓
I really think Jon and Martin might be the kind of couple with shirts like "If lost, return to my plus one" and "Antichrist's plus one" or something like that
I would buy a “Antichrist’s plus one” shirt
Dear lord I wasn't prepared for that line to be in the show.
I need to draw that sometime if I ever do lmao
Martin's "Oh, I'm the Antichrist's plus-one." made me CACKLE.
comedy gold
I love "Oh, Jon, your tape's running again", as if his shoelace is untied or something.
tape recorders liking Martin 'cos he treats them like cats is basically canon thank you
the Admiral is having fun reigning terror and I'm here for that
For anyone wondering how a supermarket could be hellish let's just say for someone with sensory issues going to certain stores is torture. IT'S ALL SO LOUD! The obnoxious colors, the electric buzzing, so many people, everything is competing to be the gaudiest most attention grabbing piece and tear its way into your life.
Are there phenomena specifically targeting people with disabilities? I mean would a fear create a specific hell to torture people with sensory issues? Do they know how to target that? If so i think it wouldn't be a supermarket but just noiserooms like we have seen in CIA torture prisons
@@jamesmortimer4016 I mean the umbrella of "disabilities" comes with some very specific fear stuff, but I do think disabled people might also be put in some of the regular fearscapes and maybe even find themselves targeted by the torturers less frequently as they need less provocation to produce the needed scare. I also think certain disabilities might make some people more likely to become Avatars (like Depression drawing people to the Lonely) so since it was never specified we can only go for speculation and headcannons
@@jamesmortimer4016 I think the familiarity would add to the horror, honestly. A loud fear room is one thing, awful to be sure, but an endless nightmare supermarket taken to its worst extremes would legit terrorize me
@@Vi_Vi_1 True. We have seen some mundane and some pretty surreal fearscapes thus far though. The battlefield and the asylum versus the place were everyone is a fucking earthworm. A horrible supermarket could tackle things like.
"It's fucking dirty and disgusting but it's the only thing i can afford" to the feeling of being lost or getting lost. The later specifically for children and or parents. A mundane enviroment ramped up to 100 would be very effective to torture someone with sensory issues... but in london the public transport system would probably make a better basis foe that
@@jamesmortimer4016 That's so real, put me on a nightmare bus or tube and amplify the issues by 1000 and it'd be sensory hell XD
Finally Jon got an apology for once
Besides the main one. “Hello Jon, apologies for the deception.”
@@avet9413 I DIED
“It has its perks”
•using boyfriend gun (more effective then kitchen gun)
•walking through horrors mostly unscathed
•walking Wikipedia
So, if there's an endless super market in a nightmare.... Think there's an infinite Ikea?
Id love an infinite ikea tbh. Minus the nightmare part I'd probably just chill in those display rooms
Infinite Ikea is just a regular ass Ikea
@@nateds7326 except no meatballs
scp 3008
every ikea is infinite
I'm so glad the admiral is safe T-T after Helen died I wouldn't be able to take it if he did too.
Safe? :(
@@BeautifulEarthJa He's basically in cat heaven. It really seems like the cats got a good deal out of all of this, funnily enough
@@screamingcactus1753The eye is a cat person
This time on The Magnus Archives: fresh take on modern dating in a post-apocalyptic world, the archivist mocks the only surviving remnants of humanity's poems, beloved pet has turning into a flesh-eating monster. Tune in next week for more
“I do not want a poem” the unspoken end of that sentence is “from you because my boyfriend is a better poet than you’ll ever be”
"Have you had vision? " sir, the eye took her vision in the divorce
“They seem to like him.”
Well he’s the only one that likes them so it makes sense.
THE ADMIRAL HAS HIS OWN DOMAIN?!?!? WHY DO I FIND THAT CUTE ??! I--
my only concern now is how is major tom from that spider episode doing?!
(Wait I realize I probably misread what you meant op) Don't think it's his own domain, cats are just natural hunters so he's in the weird cat part of the hunt. Animals are affected by the fear entities like people, though usually way less interaction with the entity lol.
@@emerz3530 Georgie said Admiral seemed happy, and in that world you are ether the part of a fear squeezing machine or the one whose fear is squeezed
@@nemodra4790 fair take lol
I think he might be in the Vast… encountering a space oddity!
look at all these lovely voice actors. i wonder where i have heard them before 👀
everyone trying to play whack-a-mole with the tape recorders. i just imagine that wherever jon walks he is just leaving a trail of recorders spawning in his wake aha
That reminds me of when he re-emerged from the doom coffin and there was a bunch of tapes lying on top of it thanks to Martin, and everyone had at first thought they'd all spawned there due to Jon trying hard to push himself through the bottlenecks of the Buried lmao
I love how the Endless Supermarket domain is almost definetly a domain of the Spiral. I always feel like Im losing my mind in some of those stores.
If you told me that Walmart was actually just a single supernatural building that's able to exist in many places at once, I'd have a hard time disproving it.
O-O-O, Omega Mart
You have no idea what's in store for you!
Man, sure is weird that the tapes still work down here, on top of inside Salesa's bubble of safety.
Perhaps it's because the tapes aren't from the Eye
@@aceinspace4340 given that I've listened to all but the finale, I'll just say "Spoilers." ;)
antichrist’s plus one!!!
I fucking died XDD
i need that on a t-shirt
"sometimes they go into a side tunnel to 'contemplate quietly'"
AWWWW MAH HEART
I didn't see anyone else mention this, but I think it's really interesting that they found the therapist in the Spiral's domain
yeah...like what was she doin
She was trying to unspiral other's madness and got lost :)
honestly as a student currently getting my psychology degree - almost all of us need a therapist
@@HelloThere-.- I disagree. That's perpetuating stigma. It isn't that psychology students specifically need the therapy a lot. All humans would greatly benefit from it, we just realize and see it clearer both within ourselves and our classmates due to literally learning abt it. Generalizing a bit of psychoeducation would help a lot
@@ita104 i dont think op was saying that only psych students need therapy, but that everyone could benefit from it, but idk¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im a random person talking to a random person about something that another random person said. The worlds hardest game of telephone
“He doesn’t seem holy” what do you mean??? Bro is literally covered in scars that came from worm holes
Georgie: _extended sounds of brutal tape murder_ also I love how all of the archives gang became the npcs Gerard keays
was arun’s dialogue a reference to fans’ theories? i’ve seen people in comments everywhere theorizing about whether hope is what can defeat the entities, or if positive emotions had their own entities, etc. arun’s dialogue sounded so similar to those theories, and then jon just shuts that down with “Oh? No. That’s not how it works.”
Jon has no clue what he's talking about tbh
In at least a few episodes it's shown that it DOES kinda work like that, at least before the apocalypse.
Lost in the Crowd comes to mind
We shall be saved by the God of behavioural therapy and mindfulness practice
@@noahkarpinski1824 Apparently many of the pre-apocalypse manifestations fell apart when they couldn't milk any more fear from their victims for whatever reason. That's why Fiona, Gertrude's old assistant, was able to escape so many of them by passing out. Andrea Nunis escaped the crowd by distracting herself from her fear of isolation with thoughts of a beloved person.
@Pe pi yeah, my headcanon with it is that it's an effective way to push the fear out of your mind. And if you aren't afraid then you have power against The Fears
Of course in Lost in the Crowd, the fear that they were repelling was specifically the Lonely, so maybe it's more nuanced. Like each of the fears have specific opposing hopes that can ward them away
Hearing Georgie try to turn off/break the tape recorder made me laugh.
Also, I'm happy the Admiral is safe and happy.
melanie: "that's interesting to know"
martin: " yeah its a h-
now what was you gonna say cuz i'm not letting it slide
I came here to ask the SAME THING- why isn't anyone talking about Martin starting to say THAT IT'S HOT
I like to think the tape recorders are a self insert of the audience, since we use them as a vessel to listen to the story. so no wonder the tape recorders like Martin, because we DO like Martin as an audience
I almost shouted when Jon finally got the apology he deserved
So nice to hear Melanie and Georgie again, such lovely peeps 👍
Martin and Melanie relationship is pure gold I love it so much
After last episode I wanted 190 to be called "Special Little Boy"
very fun to hear some of the other members of rusty quill! the conversations in this episode are great. it sounds like melanie was got to a good enough place to tell georgie more about what happened at the institute, and it sounds like georgie was finally willing to listen. it was so tough to see her and jon's friendship break down in season 4, so it's nice to see them try to repair that here. martin and melanie's second go at introductions to each other were really sweet and fun. nice 'lighthearted' episode to have before the final 10 episodes.
I agree!!!!
Jon in his element 😂 sassy and edgy clapback (WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW 🧿👁️👁️🧿
This episode was revitalising. The reunion, Georgie’s apology to Jon, knowing the Admiral’s well, and Melanie and Martin’s conversation about relationships !!!!!!!!! “The Antichrist’s plus one” cracked me up. Thank you for this great episode :))
Glad to hear that the Admiral is doing well
That moment when listening to a horror podcast is what you do to calm down before a big, maybe life changing job interview. I'm glad I decided to stop on this one. Hearing everyone catch up and get along was a wonderful reprieve.
oh yeah i use TMA to de-stress too! it's true that you need to know when to stop listening so you end on a good note, though
Okay but I like the fact Jon called out how the tapes like martin, maybe bc he treats them like a dog?
"I'm the antichrist's plus one" had me in tears XD I love their sense of humor
So we know about the tunnels under London and Mikael's cozy little estate, I wonder how many other little pockets of sanity are dotted around this hellscape. I could honestly see Jonah taking advantage of that possibility to solve the whole dying problem, keep a breeding stock of humans safe from the distorting effects of the new world, wait for them to reach a stable population size and then skim a few off the top every couple years to replenish what the End takes
7:53 Well it's about time.
9:36 Aw
This was a refreshing episode
“ anti christs plus one „ thats amazing .
I love that admiral was mentioned
I absolutely adore how that was one of the first things Jon asked about. Which is kinda funny because since they aren't hidden from the eye he could have checked at any time but he never thought to.
I can just imagine Melanie being like "not again Helen, get out of here!" and beating her with her cane.
ALL THE CHARACTER SCENES T-T Love it
I’m so glad that Georgie apologized for being so mean to Jon. And I’m glad the Admiral is okay
Can’t believe they found the cousin of the infinite ikea…
I would love to see an animated series of this entire podcast. Just copy and paste the audio, half the job is done already
Hahahahahahaha I love that conversation with Melanie and Martin and now I like Melanie and Georgie again. Yes I get why they were like that but that didn’t stop me from being annoyed with them
Still not fond of Melanie.
@@mistydevillier2197 fair
"your tape's running again" really feels like a "your fly's down" moment lol
Martin and Melanie talking and gossiping made me so incredibly happy :(
Celia sounds like Basira. This is my fourth listen of the entire podcast and I'm just now noticing. (Not Celia, Laverne).
Y'all know we're the tape recorders right? The audience that wills themselves into existence to listen right before something major happens. Them saying "They (tape recorders) like Martin" is them acknowledging that we like Martin, we love him so much we can't help but spy on him more :3
[CLICK]
[NOTE: ALL VOICES IN THIS EPISODE CARRY THE DISTINCTIVE TUNNEL ECHO TO VARYING DEGREES]
CELIA
[Anxious] I don’t like it. They’ve been gone too long.
LAVERNE
They’re fine. Sometimes they take a while. It’s hardly the longest they’ve been gone, is it?
CELIA
How would I know? It’s not like I have a watch, is it?
LAVERNE
Then how do you know what’s too long?
CELIA
How do you know what isn’t?
LAVERNE
Celia… just trust them. “They walk this world above the nightmare. It will not take them.”
CELIA
Yeah, you’re right. Of course. You’re right.
[CHAIR SCRAPES, PACING STARTS]
LAVERNE
Besides, you know that they sometimes go to a side tunnel for “private contemplation”. I think it’s sweet.
CELIA
[Petulant] They can contemplate privately here…
LAVERNE
Can they? There’s not exactly many doors down here.
CELIA
No, I guess…
LAVERNE
And the tunnels do have a tendency to echo…
CELIA
Yes, alright, fine! Fine!
Excuse me for caring.
LAVERNE
We all care.
CELIA
Yeah… well…
[NERVOUS FIDDLING WITH SUPPLIES - BOTTLES CLINK, PAPER RUSTLES]
Laverne?
LAVERNE
Mmm?
CELIA
Has anyone been messing with the supplies?
LAVERNE
I don’t think so. Why do you ask?
CELIA
There’s a tape recorder here.
LAVERNE
Oh.
[Warily] Should there not be?
CELIA
I-I don’t know. I haven’t seen it before.
[MORE PAPER RUSTLING]
It’s running.
LAVERNE
How odd.
CELIA
Yeah, I don’t like th-
Hang on, listen.
[FAINT SOUNDS OF TAPPING AND FOOTSTEPS, FOLLOWED BY CLOSER STEPS AND DOOR CREAKS]
[Relieved] Oh thank god.
LAVERNE
That them?
CELIA
Yeah. And they’re with a couple of new people! I don’t recognise them!
LAVERNE
Well, that explains it, doesn’t it?
[TAPPING IS LOUDER NOW]
CELIA
[Whispered shout] Georgie! Melanie! Over here!
ARCHIVIST
[Faint, amused] First name terms with the prophets? Bit disrespectful.
GEORGIE
[Faint] John.
ARCHIVIST
[Faint] Sorry.
[SOUNDS OF ENTRY AND SOME MUMBLING]
LAVERNE
Glad to see you’re okay. We were getting worried.
ARCHIVIST
[Quiet] After you.
GEORGIE
[Teasing] Oh, were you? Both of you?
CELIA
[Plaintive] I’m allowed to care!
[FOOTSTEPS AND SMALL MOVEMENTS AS FOLKS SETTLE THEMSELVES]
GEORGIE
Where’re the others?
LAVERNE
I think Arun’s off writing. The rest are sleeping.
ARCHIVIST
You can sleep here?
MELANIE
You don’t have to, but it does pass the time.
[MELANIE SETTLES INTO A CHAIR]
MARTIN
This place is pretty nice.
MELANIE
Yeah, I reckon it used to be a hideout of, um, you-know-who, uh, when he was living down here. It had supplies and everything.
CELIA
Sorry, we haven’t been introduced, you are…?
GEORGIE
Oh, um, of course, sorry. This is -
ARCHIVIST
Jonathan. John. Sims.
MARTIN
Uh, Martin. Hello!
GEORGIE
And this is Laverne.
LAVERNE
Good to meet you.
GEORGIE
And Celia.
MARTIN
[Puzzled] Celia?
CELIA
Probably. The, um… place I was trapped in, they took my name. I never got it back. But I like Celia, so… yeah! Celia it is.
MARTIN
Uh… H-Hello… Celia.
CELIA
So, where were you two then?
ARCHIVIST
Er… Pardon?
CELIA
They saved you, right? From one of the nightmares? So, what was it?
ARCHIVIST
Oh…
LAVERNE
Celia, don’t push. They can tell us when they’re ready.
[DISCOMFITED SOUNDS FROM MARTIN]
GEORGIE
Uh, no, they’re, they’re not -
We didn’t rescue them.
LAVERNE
No? So where did they come from?
MELANIE
[Pointedly] Great question. John, do you want to field that one?
ARCHIVIST
Uh, right, okay. Well, um… We were… We’re from out there. We’ve been wandering the world. Seeing all its horrors.
LAVERNE
God, that sounds awful.
MARTIN
Er… Yeah.
ARCHIVIST
But we’re old friends of your… uh, prophets.
CELIA
[Embarrassed] Oh, um… they don’t like it when you call them that.
MELANIE
[Emphatically] We haven’t prophesied anything.
ARCHIVIST
Well, that’s a fair point. I suppose, technically, ‘saviours’ would be the correct -
MELANIE
Oh, shut up! John!
GEORGIE
Anyway… they’re passing through. They won’t be staying with us long.
MARTIN
Oh, er, right. Yes.
LAVERNE
Hang on… Sims…
Melanie, this isn’t your old boss?
ARCHIVIST
I - What?
MELANIE
I used to talk about you in therapy.
ARCHIVIST
Oh. Oh! Oh, I suppose that makes sense.
GEORGIE
Hmmm.
LAVERNE
Small world… Nice to finally put a face to the name.
ARCHIVIST
Uh, yes.
Yes.
CELIA
[Uncomfortable] Right.
Oh, Georgie, I mean to - Sorry, um, just -
[PAPERS RUSTLE]
Do you know what this is doing here? I haven’t seen it before, and you’re always saying to tell you anything weird so…
GEORGIE
I see…
Thank you Celia. Could you turn that off, please.
[FOOTSTEPS]
[Brusquely] John, a word?
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
GEORGIE
Yeah, look and I understand that, but you’ve got to realise this isn’t just -
ARCHIVIST
Uh, Georgie?
GEORGIE
Oh, seriously? For fu-
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
GEORGIE
No, they can piss off! No! I refuse.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
[REPEATED SOUNDS OF ENTHUSIASTIC TAPE RECORDER SMASHING]
GEORGIE
I can do this all day!
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
GEORGIE
[Breathlessly] For god’s sake!
ARCHIVIST
Georgie, it’s not going to make a difference.
GEORGIE
I’m not going to let us be spied on, John!
ARCHIVIST
Look, the tunnels offer some protection, but clearly not enough to stop whatever is manifesting these recorders. If you smash this one, they’ll just make another one. Trust me on this, you need to let it go.
[DISGRUNTLED SOUND FROM GEORGIE WHILE TAKING MOMENT TO RECOMPOSE]
GEORGIE
There are seven with us now.
[Sigh] It used to be more, a lot more. But… um, we got greedy, pulled too many out. We… attracted attention. And… well, now there are seven.
ARCHIVIST
I’m sorry. I didn’t know.
GEORGIE
Martin said you knew everything now.
ARCHIVIST
Not everything. Between the tunnels, and your and Melanie’s… position relative to The Eye… I’m a bit in the dark here.
GEORGIE
No pun intended.
ARCHIVIST
Sure.
GEORGIE
…
So what? You, just, want me to just leave the tapes running and hope?
ARCHIVIST
I want you to accept that trying to stop them listening is only going to frustrate you.
GEORGIE
Just promise me these things aren’t going to harm my people.
ARCHIVIST
I promise… I promise that they’re not here for you. They’re here for me. And maybe a bit for Martin. They seem to like him.
GEORGIE
That’ll have to do, I guess.
…
It’s good to see you.
ARCHIVIST
You too.
GEORGIE
I, um… I think I owe you an apology.
ARCHIVIST
Oh?
GEORGIE
I didn’t realise how bad things were for, well, all of you. I mean, I kind of knew, but seeing all this for myself, I… I cut myself off and… I’m not so sure that was the right thing to do any more.
ARCHIVIST
You had every right to.
GEORGIE
Yeah, but it didn’t exactly help, did it?
ARCHIVIST
Georgie, you couldn’t have stopped this, believe me.
GEORGIE
…
Melanie reckons you’re the reason… all this happened, whole apocalypse thing.
ARCHIVIST
[Sigh] She’s… not wrong.
[LONG EXHALATION FROM GEORGIE]
I was the catalyst. I-I didn’t - Elias - Jonah Magnus used me.
GEORGIE
Well, obviously. Even Melanie doesn’t think you’d have been stupid enough to do this on purpose.
ARCHIVIST
Oh. Good.
So… this is it? You and Melanie sneak into nearby fearscapes, rescue someone and hide them here?
GEORGIE
Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but… yeah, basically.
ARCHIVIST
And then you just… stay down here?
GEORGIE
These days, that’s enough. We still need to eat sometimes, and drink. Found some supply caches down here -
ARCHIVIST
Jurgen Leitner.
GEORGIE
Yeah, that’s, that’s what Melanie said too.
Also, uh, we found a pretty convenient nightmare that’s essentially just an endless supermarket. Turns out if you take stuff from it, it stays pretty much fine. Not nice, y’know, but, y’know…
ARCHIVIST
I did wonder about the ‘Ennui’-brand coke bottles.
GEORGIE
Yeah, it’s convenient, not subtle.
ARCHIVIST
…
Georgie… Where’s the Admiral?
GEORGIE
[With difficulty] He’s, uh… he’s fine. I guess. He’s enjoying himself, at least. He wasn’t immune, not like me and Melanie. And he’s a predator, pampered piece of fluff that he is.
Turns out, there’s a place full of cats. And their prey.
ARCHIVIST
Poor thing.
GEORGIE
I go to see him sometimes. I think he’s happy, in his way. But, um… It’s hard to see him like that. He didn’t even know I was there.
ARCHIVIST
I’m sorry.
GEORGIE
…
John… How do we turn it back?
ARCHIVIST
I don’t know.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
MELANIE
Was that the recorder?
MARTIN
Yeah, it just started.
MELANIE
By itself?
MARTIN
I didn’t do it, if that’s what you’re asking!
MELANIE
It wasn’t an accusation.
MARTIN
Do you want me to turn it off?
MELANIE
That depends. Will it stay off?
MARTIN
Not if it wants to be a part of things, no.
MELANIE
Then let it run. It’s just the two of us, and it’s not like we can attract any more attention to ourselves at this point, inviting the snoop-god’s favourite kid down for a chat.
MARTIN
Hey, that’s not fair.
MELANIE
And? I guess the end of the world must’ve left me all snappy.
MARTIN
Well… I mean, y-
MELANIE
Don’t. Don’t say it. I actually did a lot of work on my anger, you know? Tried to put all the supernatural bollocks behind me. And now my therapist thinks I’m ‘the chosen one’.
MARTIN
Yeah, the apocalypse does seem to bring out the weird in people.
[SOUND OF ASSENT]
MELANIE
Speaking of… uh, you and John, eh?
MARTIN
Hmm?
MELANIE
Congrats, took you long enough.
MARTIN
Oh god! I totally forgot I haven’t even seen you since… well…
MELANIE
Yeah. Not… not since before John woke up.
Before you, uh… cut yourself off.
MARTIN
Yeah, sorry about that.
MELANIE
Look, I, I get it. I was still full of ghost bullet at the time, remember?
MARTIN
Oh yeah. I suppose, when you think about - I mean… Do we actually know each other? Really?
MELANIE
Huh.
Uh, Melanie.
MARTIN
Martin.
[HANDSHAKE]
[Playfully] So… what do you do?
MELANIE
[Playing along] Oh, um… [chuckle] I’m actually one of the prophets chosen to walk the end times unscathed.
MARTIN
Mmm. Mmm.
MELANIE
Yourself?
MARTIN
Oh, I’m the antichrist’s plus one.
[MELANIE CHORTLES]
MELANIE
Oh, that… that sounds like a rough gig.
MARTIN
[Smiling] It has its perks.
Seriously though, how the hell did you and Georgie fall into the ‘prophet’ thing.
[HEAVY SIGH]
MELANIE
Okay, um… It wasn’t exactly a choice. It just turns out that since I… severed my connection with The Eye, y’know, and Georgie has no fear, we’re kind of… invisible to all the nonsense out there. We only realised when we finally went out to see what was going on… saw how bad it was…
MARTIN
Yeah. It’s the same outside London. Worse, in some places. Though I guess that’s down to personal taste these days.
MELANIE
Yeah.
Well, we were, we were out, and we found this Spiral maze, uh, and who did we find inside but Laverne, my therapist. I wasn’t exactly going to leave her there, so we grabbed her and legged it. And… that’s when we discovered we can keep others hidden as well. Not completely and not for long, but it’s enough to get them here to the tunnels. So once we realised that, we started doing it for more people.
…
Have you had to explain any of this stuff to somebody who just doesn’t have the first clue about any of it?
MARTIN
Not often. And it never went great.
MELANIE
Yeah, well, tell you what, you sound like a doomsday-ing tarot reader.
Hours talking about The Eye’s ‘ascendance’, and how it’s, y’know, transforming the world into a fearful ‘psychoscape’ and…
MARTIN
They didn’t believe you?
MELANIE
Oh, I wish. No, they believed us, but a few of them took it in a bit more of a… religious direction. And here we are.
MARTIN
Mmmm. Okay but I still don’t get the whole ‘prophet’ business. What exactly are you meant to have predicted?
[ANOTHER HEAVY SIGH]
MELANIE
Okay, um…I… [sigh] I said I’d had a vision that it would end.
MARTIN
Oh. Right. And er… have you had a vision or…
…
Right.
MELANIE
Look, I know, alright. [sigh] It was a shitty thing to do, but… if you had heard how, how hopeless they all were, like, when we told them all this. That everyone is trapped in, like, never-ending torment, forever… I had to tell them something.
MARTIN
I guess.
MELANIE
I hate it. They just keep trying to interpret everything I do. And they keep calling me “The Blind Prophet”, which is a whole other thing!
MARTIN
Er, yikes.
MELANIE
Yeah, uh-huh!
It’s why we head out so much. Sometimes we actually are scouting or gathering, but half the time… I just need to get away. If I didn’t have Georgie, I think I might just snap and beat them all to death.
MARTIN
Sounds like they’d probably thank you for your wisdom, if you did that.
MELANIE
[chuckle] Stop! We shouldn’t talk about them like this. They, they are good people.
MARTIN
Sure.
MELANIE
It’s just… hard not to look down on people when they put you up on a pedestal like that.
MARTIN
So how are you and Georgie doing?
MELANIE
Honestly? Er, well, these were not the early relationship hurdles I expected.
MARTIN
God, tell me about it.
MELANIE
But don’t get me wrong… Georgie’s incredible. Um, and she’s, and she’s far, far too good for me. And I, I only hope she doesn’t realise that while there’s an apocalypse on.
[HEAVY SIGH]
Yeah.
And what about John?
MARTIN
Oh, you know John. He’s a complete mess. But, so am I and… I think we’re making it work. Communication can be… difficult when you’re on an unholy pilgrimage.
MELANIE
Modern dating, eh?
MARTIN
Nightmare.
[MELANIE CHUCKLES, THEN EXHALES LOUDLY]
MELANIE
Um… Did you meet anyone else out there?
MARTIN
Yeah, loads actually. In fact we… we saw Basira and Daisy.
MELANIE
Are - Are they alright?
MARTIN
No. Not really.
MELANIE
Oh.
MARTIN
Daisy had kind of gone full monster.
MELANIE
Ah.
MARTIN
And Basira kind of… had to kill her.
MELANIE
Oh. Oh… Oh that’s…
MARTIN
Yeah. So, now Basira’s on her way, but she’s taking her own route. I think she needed some time to process.
MELANIE
Well, that, that makes sense. Although I’m not sure how much ‘processing’ she’ll manage out there surrounded by - Oh! Oh, I nearly forgot! Careful of Helen, if you see her. She turned up a while back and tried to eat Celia.
MARTIN
She was here?
MELANIE
Yes… a few times. Looking back, I was so stupid!
MARTIN
Because you kind of liked her?
MELANIE
Yes. Yes… Honestly I had started to think she was on our side.
MARTIN
Yeah.
[MELANIE SIGHS]
John killed her.
MELANIE
Uh, sorry, what?!
MARTIN
Yeah, she tried to - I wasn’t there, but they got into a standoff and he… he destroyed her.
MELANIE
He can do that?
[SOUND OF MARTIN’S ASSENT]
Well. I mean that’s… that’s interesting to know. Ah -
MARTIN
Oh yeah, it’s a who-
[WOODEN KNOCKING]
MELANIE
Oh, oh god, I forgot. I-I promised I’d listen to some of Arun’s latest stuff.
MARTIN
No worries, do you want some company?
MELANIE
I wouldn’t put you through that.
[MARTIN SNORTS]
[Quietly] I swear, if it’s another hymn I am going to break something!
[FOOTSTEPS AS MELANIE LEAVES]
[MARTIN PAUSES, SIGHS AND THEN MAKES HIMSELF COMFORTABLE]
MARTIN
Ooooooh. Mmm, that’s nice.
[FOOTSTEPS, AND WOODEN CREAK]
LAVERNE
Careful, she’s very possessive of that chair.
MARTIN
Oh sorry! Didn’t mean to sit on the prophet’s throne.
[LAVERNE CHUCKLES]
LAVERNE
I just wanted to check if you were joining us for dinner?
MARTIN
Oh, food! What’s on the menu?
LAVERNE
Cold baked beans.
MARTIN
Maybe later.
LAVERNE
It’s there if you want it.
MARTIN
Do you actually believe all that stuff?
LAVERNE
About them being chosen?
MARTIN
Yeah, the whole ‘prophet’ thing.
LAVERNE
Are you asking me personally, or do you want me to speak for the group?
MARTIN
Either. Both.
LAVERNE
Hmm. Personally, I don’t know what I believe. I saw Melanie every week for months, and if you’d asked if I thought she was a ‘holy person’, I’d have laughed. She always behaved understandably, even if her problems were sometimes… odd.
MARTIN
But…?
LAVERNE
But. The world is… well, I mean, it’s hell, isn’t it? Whether it’s a capital-H hell or not, I don’t know, but that’s where we are. And Melanie and Georgie, they can walk through it completely untouched. They can… rescue people, even if they can’t always protect them. I’ve listened to their own explanation of it, and I’ve listened to Danielle call them “prophets” or “angels” or “the chosen”. Neither of them really makes any sense. But… you’ve got to have hope in something, otherwise there’s no point to anything. So, I choose to have hope in them.
MARTIN
I guess that makes sense.
LAVERNE
It doesn’t need to. Times like these, it just helps to believe. I’m not sure it really matters what.
[CLICK]
[CLICK]
ARUN
[Earnest] So what do you think?
GEORGIE
[Awkward] Um…
MELANIE
[Awkward] Oh, okay, um… Right, so… Arun, I just think that the…
GEORGIE
I don’t think either of us is particularly comfortable with your use of the word “redeemers”.
MELANIE
Right.
ARCHIVIST
I thought it was quite a good rhyme.
MELANIE
[aside] Shut up, John!
ARUN
I-I, I realise that you dislike that k-kind of thing, your humility is… humbling.
[THE FRAGILE LINE OF MELANIE’S IRRITATION IS AUDIBLE]
But… I’ve been considering your words last week, when you talked about how the world we’re in… feeds on fear, how -
GEORGIE
Mmhmm…
ARUN
- how it’s powered and shaped and moulded by it.
GEORGIE
Right…
ARUN
And, well, maybe your powers feed on hope? On trust and faith and… and hope. I want to inspire that. So, I’m sorry if maybe it’s a little… florid, but I think it’s right.
MELANIE
That’s… that’s not how it works. Is it? John?
ARCHIVIST
Oh? No. That’s not how it works.
ARUN
[Sharply] And what would you know about poetry?
[GEORGIE GIGGLES]
ARCHIVIST
Oh, well, uh… I, um…
ARUN
Who even is this? Are you a new follower? I thought you said it was dangerous for the flock to get any bigger?
GEORGIE
Ah, no. He’s… like us. Able to travel through the world.
ARUN
Another nightmare strider?
ARCHIVIST
I do not want a poem.
[MORE SOFT GIGGLES]
ARUN
But… Are, are, are you sure, Prophet?
MELANIE
Uh… yes. Yes he is.
ARUN
He doesn’t seem holy…
ARCHIVIST
[Archly] And what would you know?
GEORGIE
John.
ARCHIVIST
Sorry.
ARUN
I - Apologies, I meant, I meant no offence. Oh, I - Please forgive me!
[FOOTSTEPS AS ARUN LEAVES]
GEORGIE
You didn’t need to scare him like that.
ARCHIVIST
I didn’t mean to.
MELANIE
Hmm.
GEORGIE
Look, we’re all tired, and you still seem a little disoriented by the tunnels. Let’s get some rest. We can talk about next moves tomorrow.
ARCHIVIST
And how do you know when tomorrow is?
GEORGIE
We generally err on the side of caution and sleep in.
ARCHIVIST
Sounds good.
GEORGIE
Oh, John.
ARCHIVIST
Hmm?
GEORGIE
Your tape’s running again.
ARCHIVIST
Oh, sorry!
[CLICK]
@@faxoniithank uuu❤
wlw and mlm solidarity
i got so happy hearing anil voice arun! i recognized him from the q&a from the past seasons
"The Anti-Christ's plus-1" is one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard 😅
SPOILERS
I just realised why the tape recorders like Martin, because he was originally supposed to be an avatar of the Web
Kittyland!
Hi Alex!
Melanie and Martin is such a great friendship duo
loving the queer solidarity in an apocalypse. reminds me of hello from the hallowoods. i actually decided to give this show a try when someone said they were similar, and like 2 weeks later i'm almost done binge listening. they both have those small moments of connection and hope in an eldritch hellscape, the magnus archives just has a much more slow burn on the apocalypse starting.
Anil finally doing a voice?! YAY!!!!
Our guys have a hard time relating with other, less traveled people now. They are so removed in experience. Nice to see that being acknowledged in the writing.
The therapist gives me MAJOR Spiral vibes, but also very Web-ish.
The confirmation that animals have domains of their own is really interesting; while The Admiral gets to be, effectively, an avatar hunting prey, there's probably domains where the more skittish cats get tormented for their fear (scaredy cat is term for a reason). I could imagine one domain affiliated with the spiral being one with giant descending hands where the cats can never know if they're going to pet or hurt them, and trying to attack the hand results in loud shouting in a language they don't understand
Damn man, that's a painful thought. Good job
*beyonce meme*
"LOWRI?!"
:( I sort of thought all the pets were immune, or just sort of held in stasis. This is cool too I guess...
Imagine if the pets were held in stasis but not the children.
The Eye can excuse child torture but it draws the line at animal cruelty.
I love the parallel between Jon and Melanie. Their taste and their characters are so alike that they hate each other💛
The guy who wrote the poetry oml I feel so bad for him
what the hell do you mean i'm caught up to the episodes on youtube?
the web did not want to hear arun's poetry, huh..
You can hear how hard Melline is head desking
Man, what Melanie is doing with a literal fucking cult is all the things she accused Jon of doing and so much more, yet everyone is still an asshole to him.
This episode was honestly hilarious, I laughed out loud a few times and my dad is looking very confused at me sndkdhabshljdbd
Arun is so precious😭😭😭
Oh, of course the tunnels have an omega mart
this episode made me so happy
Oh man yes. It’s soooo good to have Melanie and Georgie back.
I missed them so much ;-;
THE ADMIRAL IS A HUNTER????
I'M GLAD THEY'RE OKAY BUT WHAT????
“You don’t SEEM holy.” “Ceaseless watcher-“
Cool
The recorders are such trolls XD
It would be funny if ayer all ends thanks to gerogie and Melanie's actions manage to birth some sort of cult that serves as an antithesis to the fears
recorders recorders recorders yeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeee
THE ADMIRAL NOOOO!!
Hello Celia :)
Melanie discovering the hard way of how religions are born
✨modern dating✨
Not The Admiral 😢
"I do not. want. a poem." ha
admiral ;((
Laverne and Shirley reference?
JONNY YOU SWORE NO HARM WOULD COME TO THE ADMRIAL I SWEAR MR SIMS IF YOU HURT THAT CAT
Backrooms.
9:00
This epispde is just gold of phrases and dialogues🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌