One thing I noticed, especially in my case, is a lot of nice guys have feminine energy and their partner has more of a masculine edge. This made it even tougher as I started to shift more into my masculine. We started stepping on each other’s toes a lot and competing in dominance. She also started shaming me more and more when I would assert myself, almost as if I was a threat. I feel better than I ever have and the relationship is ending because in her words we’ve become more like “buddies”, which of course is my fault because I’m not the “same person” (nice guy pleaser) that she was originally attracted too. It’s because she’s attracted to feminine energy
@@shadyeighty1 edit after two months:i started doing the same. i closed my eyes to power plays. I started to setup healthy boundaries and i am more honest on what i can and cant tolerate. She is tryina gain the relationship power in every second she has. We re about to end it soon. Exactly feeling like buddies and i domt even find her sexy anymore. one thing is i wasnt im my feminine
This is one of the most illuminating podcasts I've ever listened to, the concept of emotional tension could be one of the "holy grails" for men to finally understand women, thank you Dr. Glover
THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING TRUE I WANNA CRY!!! IM OVER HERE WATCHING SOME 10/10 GIRL WHO HAS GUYS PINING OVER HER ( yeah for looks) AND THE PERSON WHO SHES BOUND TO IS A FUCKING FENTYNAL JUNKY WHO TAKES HER MONEY BUYS DRUGS WITH IT. AND SHES OVER THERE CRYING PUTTING POST ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HIM...THEN THERE ME WHOS OVERE HERE TRYING TO SAVE MY GF FROM HERSELF. BEING NICE AND OVER INVESTING AND THEN GETTING DITCHED CAUSE IM BORING...........LIKE MY WHOLE LIFES BEEN A LIE
When she intentionally becomes disruptive, (for no reason), it’s time to just walk away, if you can. Both parties have to be reasonably respectful of each other. When they go into the crazy rages out of the blue, it's not her, “looking for emotional tension.” If it was, in my view, she can find another guy. You can be assertive and also respectful and civil and not be a doormat or a simp. Women, can take advantage of guys because they have something we want. Everybody knows this, and the narcissist GF will push this way past the boundaries. When that happens, you have to bail, especially if it’s multiple times. She will just end up a lonely old lady, and you will keep your sanity and integrity. When someone treats you disrespectfully, you have to be respectful of yourself.
The funniest thing is where he said , after guys read the book and we’re like has this guy been following me around my whole life, I said the exact same thing as I was reading the book lol
One thing that scared me about being intimate was when my wife told me that she likes being talked to during sex. That she wants to be fully engaged, body and Mind. And I dont like talking during sex. I dont like even talking dirty during. I've watched too many porn videos and when I think of talking dirty I think "I dont wanna talk dirty cuz I feel like a jackass" but then she says she wants me to talk to her, like have an actual conversation, I was so confused and nervous, to the point where I feel like I cant fully arouse my wife because talking is too far out of my comfort zone. I am a man of few words. I have always said if I had the choice, I wouldn't say a single word for the rest of my life. How does someone get out of this mentality of being a quiet person and able to engage fully with their spouse?
Do you want my help? Watch my new client presentation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship that lasts: success.knowledgeformen.com/on-demand?el=yt
You know what though? While I think a lot of this is very valuable, what if the women that all these guys have been with were narcissists or had strong narcissistic patterns? Then a lot of this advice and could fundamentally be about trying to become a guy who would be accepted by those women. Unless the spotlight is also placed on the women in these relationships, there is going to be an onus placed on men in such a way that everything is their fault and they are the problem. The fact is, women and men are grown and socialized in the same society. We both carry traumas from childhood, we both have our personality attachment styles and so on. Human beings exist in relation to each other, we are not isolated creatures. How we are is a response to how others are. Who you choose as a partner, as in who you are attracted to, and therefore why, says a lot about your self-esteem, and therefore, your partners. One of the best things you can do for yourself is choose an emotionally healthy partner. It could be the case that most of these problems with attraction and healthy relating just won't exist if your partner is someone who knows how to relate in a healthy way. Otherwise, you'll just be blaming yourself for everything and for not being good enough when in reality a dance is a two way street.
I get the tone of what you’re trying to say..... but you have it completely backwards Being a “nice guy” and seeking to please everyone..... is exactly how you get run over by a narcissist, should you encounter one. And even if you’re dealing with a healthy woman....being a “nice guy” still doesn’t emotionally engage her and instill much confidence in her Being confident, assertive, not afraid to lose, outcome independent, and emotionally engaging.... is exactly how you repel a narcissist. A narcissist is not going to be able to run you over if you confidently install healthy boundaries And when it comes to a good woman..... she will respect you a lot more when you truly are your own man.
I agree with this, and Greg below. The, "boundaries." are clearly necessary, and if you have them, hopefully it will prevent you from ever getting with a narcissist in the first place. Narcissist aren’t stupid, they will act perfectly normal for the first six months, or even a year, until you are emotionally attached or, (gasp!), married to them. Then they start their abuse, because it simply makes them feel good to crap on someone that loves them. These women are all over the place. It may be them looking for, (the videos subject), “emotional tension,” but it’s times ten! It’s sabotaging, humiliating, maybe, psychotic. It’s rolling a boulder up a hill to make it work, and sooner or later the boulder runs you over. This, is not explained by Glover, and it’s one of his principle flaws. Sometimes, it’s not about you, it’s about, you have a crazy GF.
powerful men unintentionally do it and that’s why there are tens of sexy chicks always around them hovering! i understood this after my first break up/rejection
Great video, thank you. Glad I found your channel. I turn 40 in a few weeks and a 4+ yr relationship/engagement ended suddenly for me in January, leaving me devastated. I realize it was my instant gratification behaviors that lost attraction and I need to be replacing them with the delayed gratification actions... not just in the hopes that MAYBE that would have kept her around, but for my own self-respect. Thanks again. Hope your channel grows fast.
While I respect Dr Glover and agree with much of what he's saying, I think it's a bit more complicated and there is some danger in what he's saying. Men should not be following women's lead-- for example, the gossiping and cattiness in soap operas is not something that should be encouraged or placated to in any way. That's the type of shit that destroys societies. As women go, society goes. Men should not be following women and molding themselves into being what is attractive to women. That is essentially placing sexual attractiveness before any and everything else, and doesn't lead to a good place for society. We are seeing the results of that now, which is essentially the hollowing out of the sacredness of sex, and people are having less sex as a result of all this liberation and following women's lead. The more traditional way, and imo the better way, is to shame sluts and encourage/force women to be more chaste until marriage/ltr committment, thus they don't have nearly as high of a bar for being attracted to a man. Most of the women that this type of advice works for are women who've been with quite a few men and have unreasonably high expectations. If a woman is chaste, her expectations are much more realistic, and she's much more desirable anyhow. All men are not going to be 'alphas' -- its mathematically impossible. There will always be a top 10% and most women will want to be with one of them. However, in a truly monogamous society women have to settle for a man in her league, not slut it out in her 20s and damage herself permanently to where she resents all men and can never be satisfied with a guy in her league again. Women need to understand their 'commitment value' and their 'sex value' to men --- the only way they can do that is by being more chaste and not sleeping with a man for a considerable period of time. F Roger Devlin is the more serious and philosophically thorough thinker on these things, I'd encourage everyone to check out his book 'Sexual Utopia in Power'. It is not men who've changed the most, it is women. They've lost all virtue and restraint. Men are still generally honorable and duty bound.
“Women don’t have sex with a man they’ve gotten to know , they usually try to get to know a man they want to have sex with” powerful!
One thing I noticed, especially in my case, is a lot of nice guys have feminine energy and their partner has more of a masculine edge. This made it even tougher as I started to shift more into my masculine. We started stepping on each other’s toes a lot and competing in dominance. She also started shaming me more and more when I would assert myself, almost as if I was a threat. I feel better than I ever have and the relationship is ending because in her words we’ve become more like “buddies”, which of course is my fault because I’m not the “same person” (nice guy pleaser) that she was originally attracted too. It’s because she’s attracted to feminine energy
Good for you buddy
Or u became a controlling freak macho?
@@mehmetcanmsrcoglu2781 No. It’s all explained in the original comment above.
@@mehmetcanmsrcoglu2781 controlling freak is still along the lines of typical nice guy behavior
@@shadyeighty1 edit after two months:i started doing the same. i closed my eyes to power plays. I started to setup healthy boundaries and i am more honest on what i can and cant tolerate. She is tryina gain the relationship power in every second she has. We re about to end it soon. Exactly feeling like buddies and i domt even find her sexy anymore. one thing is i wasnt im my feminine
“You gotta be willing to get a negative reaction , if you’re going to do anything that creates tension “
I love it when you dont talk to con-artists and actually talk to real men(Mark Manson, Robert) love this
podcast! oh and ye "thats me" :)
Yeah i'm over the shady car salesman "game coaches," and they're everywhere now; it's turned into simply a business.
This is one of the most illuminating podcasts I've ever listened to, the concept of emotional tension could be one of the "holy grails" for men to finally understand women, thank you Dr. Glover
I really starting from the bottom of the scale. Being overly nice.
Now committing to transform myself.
Let's see how it goes.
How is your journey going, brother?
Be yourself and be happy with what you have now
Subliminal “bed squeaking” in the background.
THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING TRUE I WANNA CRY!!! IM OVER HERE WATCHING SOME 10/10 GIRL WHO HAS GUYS PINING OVER HER ( yeah for looks) AND THE PERSON WHO SHES BOUND TO IS A FUCKING FENTYNAL JUNKY WHO TAKES HER MONEY BUYS DRUGS WITH IT. AND SHES OVER THERE CRYING PUTTING POST ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HIM...THEN THERE ME WHOS OVERE HERE TRYING TO SAVE MY GF FROM HERSELF. BEING NICE AND OVER INVESTING AND THEN GETTING DITCHED CAUSE IM BORING...........LIKE MY WHOLE LIFES BEEN A LIE
I really enjoyed this podcast, learned new things, bought one book and am willing to buy two more, thank you!
When she intentionally becomes disruptive, (for no reason), it’s time to just walk away, if you can. Both parties have to be reasonably respectful of each other. When they go into the crazy rages out of the blue, it's not her, “looking for emotional tension.” If it was, in my view, she can find another guy. You can be assertive and also respectful and civil and not be a doormat or a simp. Women, can take advantage of guys because they have something we want. Everybody knows this, and the narcissist GF will push this way past the boundaries. When that happens, you have to bail, especially if it’s multiple times. She will just end up a lonely old lady, and you will keep your sanity and integrity. When someone treats you disrespectfully, you have to be respectful of yourself.
This is a great attitude to have!
Amazing piece of advises❤️
The funniest thing is where he said , after guys read the book and we’re like has this guy been following me around my whole life, I said the exact same thing as I was reading the book lol
One thing that scared me about being intimate was when my wife told me that she likes being talked to during sex. That she wants to be fully engaged, body and Mind. And I dont like talking during sex. I dont like even talking dirty during. I've watched too many porn videos and when I think of talking dirty I think "I dont wanna talk dirty cuz I feel like a jackass" but then she says she wants me to talk to her, like have an actual conversation, I was so confused and nervous, to the point where I feel like I cant fully arouse my wife because talking is too far out of my comfort zone. I am a man of few words. I have always said if I had the choice, I wouldn't say a single word for the rest of my life. How does someone get out of this mentality of being a quiet person and able to engage fully with their spouse?
I love your statemen create emotional tension, this is interesting.
Do you want my help?
Watch my new client presentation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship that lasts: success.knowledgeformen.com/on-demand?el=yt
Doctor Glovers the Goat
You know what though? While I think a lot of this is very valuable, what if the women that all these guys have been with were narcissists or had strong narcissistic patterns? Then a lot of this advice and could fundamentally be about trying to become a guy who would be accepted by those women. Unless the spotlight is also placed on the women in these relationships, there is going to be an onus placed on men in such a way that everything is their fault and they are the problem. The fact is, women and men are grown and socialized in the same society. We both carry traumas from childhood, we both have our personality attachment styles and so on. Human beings exist in relation to each other, we are not isolated creatures. How we are is a response to how others are.
Who you choose as a partner, as in who you are attracted to, and therefore why, says a lot about your self-esteem, and therefore, your partners. One of the best things you can do for yourself is choose an emotionally healthy partner. It could be the case that most of these problems with attraction and healthy relating just won't exist if your partner is someone who knows how to relate in a healthy way. Otherwise, you'll just be blaming yourself for everything and for not being good enough when in reality a dance is a two way street.
I get the tone of what you’re trying to say..... but you have it completely backwards
Being a “nice guy” and seeking to please everyone..... is exactly how you get run over by a narcissist, should you encounter one. And even if you’re dealing with a healthy woman....being a “nice guy” still doesn’t emotionally engage her and instill much confidence in her
Being confident, assertive, not afraid to lose, outcome independent, and emotionally engaging.... is exactly how you repel a narcissist. A narcissist is not going to be able to run you over if you confidently install healthy boundaries
And when it comes to a good woman..... she will respect you a lot more when you truly are your own man.
I agree with this, and Greg below. The, "boundaries." are clearly necessary, and if you have them, hopefully it will prevent you from ever getting with a narcissist in the first place. Narcissist aren’t stupid, they will act perfectly normal for the first six months, or even a year, until you are emotionally attached or, (gasp!), married to them. Then they start their abuse, because it simply makes them feel good to crap on someone that loves them. These women are all over the place. It may be them looking for, (the videos subject), “emotional tension,” but it’s times ten! It’s sabotaging, humiliating, maybe, psychotic. It’s rolling a boulder up a hill to make it work, and sooner or later the boulder runs you over. This, is not explained by Glover, and it’s one of his principle flaws. Sometimes, it’s not about you, it’s about, you have a crazy GF.
powerful men unintentionally do it and that’s why there are tens of sexy chicks always around them hovering!
i understood this after my first break up/rejection
Great video, thank you. Glad I found your channel. I turn 40 in a few weeks and a 4+ yr relationship/engagement ended suddenly for me in January, leaving me devastated. I realize it was my instant gratification behaviors that lost attraction and I need to be replacing them with the delayed gratification actions... not just in the hopes that MAYBE that would have kept her around, but for my own self-respect. Thanks again. Hope your channel grows fast.
While I respect Dr Glover and agree with much of what he's saying, I think it's a bit more complicated and there is some danger in what he's saying. Men should not be following women's lead-- for example, the gossiping and cattiness in soap operas is not something that should be encouraged or placated to in any way. That's the type of shit that destroys societies. As women go, society goes. Men should not be following women and molding themselves into being what is attractive to women. That is essentially placing sexual attractiveness before any and everything else, and doesn't lead to a good place for society. We are seeing the results of that now, which is essentially the hollowing out of the sacredness of sex, and people are having less sex as a result of all this liberation and following women's lead. The more traditional way, and imo the better way, is to shame sluts and encourage/force women to be more chaste until marriage/ltr committment, thus they don't have nearly as high of a bar for being attracted to a man. Most of the women that this type of advice works for are women who've been with quite a few men and have unreasonably high expectations. If a woman is chaste, her expectations are much more realistic, and she's much more desirable anyhow. All men are not going to be 'alphas' -- its mathematically impossible. There will always be a top 10% and most women will want to be with one of them. However, in a truly monogamous society women have to settle for a man in her league, not slut it out in her 20s and damage herself permanently to where she resents all men and can never be satisfied with a guy in her league again. Women need to understand their 'commitment value' and their 'sex value' to men --- the only way they can do that is by being more chaste and not sleeping with a man for a considerable period of time. F Roger Devlin is the more serious and philosophically thorough thinker on these things, I'd encourage everyone to check out his book 'Sexual Utopia in Power'. It is not men who've changed the most, it is women. They've lost all virtue and restraint. Men are still generally honorable and duty bound.
How to create Emotional tension either it is positive or negative
I wonder if it's basically the oedipus complex, nice guy syndrome i mean
Can u put this episode on iphone's podcast? Please.
What is emocional tensión?
Maybe listen to the podcast and find out???
At 25:00 I think he’s describing me wtf 🤯🤯
राम्रो फल लाग्ने राम्रो विरूवाको सुरूमै पात हेरेरै थाहा पाईन्छ। हुने बिरूवाको चिल्लो पात!
Just be yourself
Oversimplification but ok
Its conformation Bias
7