Dr. Robert Glover: No More Mr. Nice Guy & Reclaim Your Masculinity
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- Whatever happened to all the real men?
Oh, we see plenty of masculine imagery in movies and TV. Healthy, successful, attractive guys with gorgeous women hanging all over them.
We yearn to be those men - but these images don’t tell us how to become like them. Maybe we try to fake it by buying a nice suit or an expensive car - but deep down, we know we’re just pretending, so nothing really changes.
I used to be a guy like that too - faking my way through life, bored at my job, always in the “friend zone” with the women I wanted… dreaming big and hoping next year would be different but living all too small.
That all changed when I found out where the REAL male mentors are… built strong friendships with them… and let them teach me how to take back my masculine power once and for all.
These powerful men told me things my father never told me… about women, finance, physical health, and how to become the strongest version of myself. And after a decade of intensive mentorship, I now want to pass this knowledge on to you.
It’s time to shatter your chains, and start living the life you know you deserve - as a strong grounded man.
I’m offering my exclusive 90-minute, 30-video training course on becoming a strong, grounded man… absolutely FREE, for a very limited time.
Just click here to get your copy, and take control of your life today → goo.gl/Xh3pof
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Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications.
Through his book: No More Mr. Nice Guy, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world.
Early Challenge
Dr. Glover had an affair with a woman in his congregation. He was rarely ever a risk averse type of person and found himself in this situation that he felt was completely out of line with who he was. Or did he know who he was?
Ah-hah Moment
He asked himself, “how did I get here?” one day in church and it finally dawned on him that he had been out of integrity most of his life. He realized that he was not the nice guy he always thought himself to be because he was holding things back inside. Dr. Glover learned that when you’re out of integrity it eventually leads to problems and it’s better to be clear in your thoughts, words and actions.
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Damn I think he understands my life better than myself
We see a watered down imagery of masculinity in movies and TV.
Constantly nodding my head during this podcast lol.
This information is good shit. Wish I had known this as a young guy. There are a lot of "men" around these days who were raised by single moms and have had no role model to educate them on these things. Glover is doing a lot of good in the world.
Hooooooollllllyyyyyyyy shit!!! This interview described my life in every little detail... I feel like I've just discovered the wheel! Like I've found the meaning of life!
Erick you took the words out of my mouth. This is a users manual for my life. Insanity. This is the holy grail
damn
"Be yourself , challenge yourself , and have a good time "
I've stumbled upon gold
GOLD!!
His book changed my life. My marriage, my business, my outlook all changed. I’m only a week out from the book bought a copy for my wife. I told her things are changing and set boundaries. Same with clients in my business. I feel like a new man.
I agree!👍💪🥳🌹
Fucking hell it sucks to confirm what I've always thought to be true. Ever since I was a boy I was the nice one to the ladies thinking that would get me places , fucking moron I was ..
Sadly im afraid you're right. And i reiterate "sadly", because I'm a firm believer in equality.
+james dean As a woman, I whole-heartedly disagree. Mr. Nice Guy is one extreme, he is passive or passive agressive. Your scenario is the opposite extreme, it is aggressive and even abusive. A woman wants a balance. She does not want a guy she can walk all over, nor a guy to be a dictator. She wants a partner and a team mate. With a Mr. Nice Guy she feels like she's carrying him and his responsibilities. With the opposite, the guy is trying to carry all the responsibility and allows his girl no say. Both are equally wrong. Be a partner, be a team mate, take turns with responsibilities or divide them, work to make decisions together.
+martin valdez Mother raised you that way. Children need their parents for guidance. But instead we men grow up through trial and error :/
+martin valdez fuck equality. go for Complementarianism is the best, most realistic way
martin valdez mimimi
In my case it’s not that I expect people to be nice to me or accept me. I was trained to behave like this by my father. Any expression of authenticity or desire to do my own thing was completely ground down by my father. He was extremely abusive and intolerant of anything but compliance.
My family was dysfunctional as hell
Retep Mullenoski yeah...mine was dysfunctional at being....dysfunctional!
"you change the world by being yourself "
This all sounds about right. I've seen a lot of this in my own life. But, in the end, it all gets down to winning the approval of others. In this case, winning their approval by pretending you don't need their approval.
Noted and saved for self reference (3 Covert Contracts)
16:39 - 16-59
Hey just want to say. I’ve heard a lot of podcasts and interviews with Dr. Glover, and for me, this is one of the top ones I’ve heard. It’s clear, direct, and some great questions were asked! Highly appreciative!
Thank you both for this.
One thing that impressed me was that Robert also recommended some very inspiring books by other authors as well (speaks to his generous nature and giving credit where it is due). Truth be told, I will probably look at those books first, but I've bookmarked No More Mr. Nice Guy for a future read.
when he said... don't do this alone.. my jaw tensed. Very hard for me to do but I will give a go and get out of my comfort zone.
If anyone thinks they're shit, thank your parents.
Great interview! I just found this book and it's changing my life. I hope it is anyway. Everything about Mr. Nice Guy is who I am, and I don't want to be dishonest and disconnected.
1. Make yourself a priority
2. Find safe people to start revealing yourself to Aka be honest
3. Starting connecting with men. Consciously connect with men
4. be more sexual with women
Makes me think of the old Savoy Brown tune, 'I'm Tired'.
glover knows his shit. im determined to learn this.
I just ordered the book and it just got here! Can't wait to crack it open
Embarrassingly good. download mp3 version @ tinyurl . com \ okgf4y9 . remove spaces.
I read the book recently and it is first class.
Be yourself, challenge yourself, and have a good time!
I wasn't narcissistic when I was young. I was always aware of other people.
Hard to get excited about a self help plan and book that make you loathe yourself from the beginning.
I get the distinct feeling that the pejorative 'nice guy' is in fact a title for a manifestation of co-dependence.
Through minuets 10-16 or so, Glover goes over the SHAME & GUILT which are integral in the emotional realities of abused people. Emotionally, physically, & psychologically abused children become over-compensating adults who, in what they perceive as a heroic attempt to ensure that they NEVER effect anyone, or inflict the blame-shifting, the gaslighting, manipulative horrors they endured on anyone else.
This, obviously, spills over into behaviors that these abused individuals cannot see the actual nature of. Just as they were forced to disassociate from the pain of their inescapable reality as children, so too are they blind to how negatively co-dependent behavior is effecting the way others treat them in adulthood. Their over-reaching attempts to handle everyone with the respect & focus they were robbed of throughout their lives, causes peers to consider them as something of a spineless afterthought, too weak in their tolerance & understanding instead of demanding & self-focused; as none can see the deep psychological scars that ravage their inner selves.
What compounds this even more is a culture of consumeristsic, emotional invalids who comodify one another. Narcissistic self-aggrandization & smug, cynical indifference wield a bullying influence over anyone who would actively reach out empathetically, & marginalize them a similar 'wet-blanket' for their sensitivity, without ever taking into account that these persecuted individuals are strong enough to carry the guilt & shame of abuse, & still have enough love & strength within them to extend to others. The very will that compels them to behave as the 'nice guy' is exactly what makes them the target of what boils down to an advanced form of victim blaming. The harder they try to make the world a better place than the one that turned a blind eye the suffering they survived, the more they are further abused for it.
Further more, 'nice guys' have a proclivity to actively seek out emotionally unavailable mates, who more often than not mirror the narcissistic malice that forged their behaviors to begin with, & undergo reciprocal abuse from a brand new individual, all to happy to malignantly & unempathically drain them of every last drop of confidence & strength they have, & them shame them & blame them for being thrown away once depleted, citing them as too 'nice of a guy' all while parasitically raping the ravaged spirit of these individuals again.
Congratulations. Dr. Gibson. You've just put a stamp of approval on narcissism, supporting the certification of continued abuse towards good-hearted, well-intentioned people, whom are all apparently deserving of the guilt & shame they feel, for struggling to unfuck a world that beasts them down for having been beaten down. The people who are truly giving legs to this catastrophic myth of the 'nice guy' , are almost always opportunistic abusers; who successfully twist the perception of their manipulative & exploitative behavior by shifting blame to the victim of their abuse.
I can definitely appreciate this perspective from where it is coming from
@Randall I would like to hear more of your perspective. Is there any way we can connect?
No more Mr. Nice guy......Terrific book. Buy two copies...read one & give one away!
This is so good, my main focus is being more blunt with people. No more Mr. Nice Guy
There may be repercussions from being more blunt. Especially when those people wouldn't expect or be prepared for such now found bluntness. Are you prepared for any backlash?!!??
@@gullybop1695 Anyone who cares about you isn't gonna walk away from you for being completely honest. If they don't respect your perspective or way of doing life then it's time to walk away.
I hear ya....but why choose to be honest/blunt now opposed to being honest/blunt from the jump???
@@gullybop1695 Guess I've played the nice guy for too long and haven't been keeping it real with myself.
Telling the truth these days is almost a revolutionary act. It's crazy. Lol!!
Great info! It explained a lot of my attitude today... Basically I am overcompensating for internalizing my mothers behavior in the past, when I was little because my father was such a bad role model. From being sort of a wuss I am going in the opposite direction trying to discover and internalize male qualities... Man... It's so important to know this stuff before you have children!
Jesus! o.O Started reading dr. Glovers book...
"Nice Guys are passive-aggressive. Nice Guys tend to express their frustration and resentment in indirect, roundabout, and not so nice ways. This includes being unavailable, forgetting, being late, not following through, not being able to get an erection, climaxing too quickly, and repeating the same annoying behaviors even when they have promised to never do them again. Nice Guys are full of rage. Though Nice Guys frequently deny ever getting angry, a lifetime of frustration and resentment creates a pressure cooker of repressed rage deep inside these men. This rage tends to erupt at some of the most unexpected and seemingly inappropriate times.
Nice Guys are addictive. Addictive behavior serves the purpose of relieving stress, altering moods, or medicating pain. Since Nice Guys tend to keep so much bottled up inside, it has to come out somewhere. One of the most common addictive behaviors for Nice Guys is sexual compulsiveness. Nice Guys have difficulty setting boundaries. Many Nice Guys have a hard time saying "no," "stop," or "I'm going to." They often feel like helpless victims and see the other person as the cause of the problems they are experiencing. Nice Guys are frequently isolated. Though Nice Guys desire to be liked and loved, their behaviors actually make it difficult for people to get very close to them. Nice Guys are often attracted to people and situations that need fixing. This behavior is often the result of the Nice Guy's childhood conditioning, his need to look good, or his quest for approval. Unfortunately, this tendency pretty much guarantees that Nice Guys will spend most of their time putting out fires and managing crises. Nice Guys frequently have problems in intimate relationships. Though Nice Guys often put tremendous emphasis on this part of their lives, their intimate relationships are frequently a source of struggle and frustration."
This was (and maybe to some degree still is) me to the letter! An eyes opening book... o.O
+makrofocus this doesn't only sound like a "nice guy" it sounds like any "type 9" in the enneagram.. Worth looking into..
Nice good job! Thank you for sharing ✌️
This was an awesome episode! I´m suscribing right now! Thanks for creating this RUclips channel to help people!
This is so on point
Just ordered your book Mr glover thank you
but where do we find a real mentor? The guys who have really pioneered the way in this movement like Andrew and Dr. Glover are no longer accessible due to the success of their programs. So where do you find guys that will literally be there in the trenches with you as you go through this transformation? People you can call on their cell phone, or hell, at least call and book a session with? I make $40,000 and am a single dad with sole custody of an 18 year old I'm trying to put through college....I mean, I don't have $5,000 on hand to invest in therapy @ $300/session and get 16 session or purchase one of Dr. Glover's intensives for $10,000 off of his website.
That's one quarter of my annual salary. I just can't do it. Who can I get close to that really has the skins on the wall that can help me through my journey?
When you find out let me know too I’m looking for a men’s group.
Dig it. Thanks men.
thank you for this.
this is amazing ,learnt quite a lot
I really enjoyed it.
luv this book
it is strange, I'm not a man but can relate to some aspects. Because I'm a female probably with Aspergers who has been socially inappropriate as a child and also had quite sarcastic humor but not in a mean way, I always felt guilty for making others feel bad and trying to be "nice" to them, although it doesn't fit with my personality. I feel the need to please everyone, but only not to be "bad" or the black sheep like I was seen by others as a child. When it comes to other people, I prefer those with flaws, not perfect and too nice, but it is different for myself.
What's with the Guardians of the Galaxy intro?! LOL!
does it work for gay men too?
16:00 dismantle these
What about gay men????
Lol I had a secret relationship with a member of my church. Honestly church has become a club house.
the interviewer sounds like hes reading every word he says out of context of the convo....kinda strange
34:53
38:23
41:13
Maybe if being a real mean means that you are not nice, then it is not a good thing to be a real man
Being nice is not always a good thing. How do you define "real man"?
All these whimpy nice guys say the same thing. Dr. Glover even pointed this out in his book. They use "splitting" or black and white thinking. All or nothing thinking. They are so myopic that they believe there are only two possibilities. Being nice - a pushover - a doormat - or being an asshole - taking advantage of others.
There is, of course, a middle ground.
There is assertiveness. Assertiveness is not aggression.
But mainly, nice guys always say this - always sarcastically say that being a nice guy is better than being an asshole - They always say this because they are cowards. They are too cowardly to be assertive. After all, this is the essence of the nice guy, as Dr. Glover points out in his book - that they avoid conflict - are conflict-adverse - afraid of confrontation. This is why they never argue - they never say no. Then they resent saying yes until they passive-aggressively explode. Let's face it, nice guys are pathetic cowards. Admit it and learn and grow, or deny it and whine and make excuses and continue to be a doormat. Your choice.
Whaaah, it's better than being a jerk. Women only like jerks. Whaaah, whaaahh, whine whine, cry. Pussy.
If being nice stops you from being a real man, maybe being nice is not a good thing to be.
If nice guys finish last, why would you want to be nice anyway?
Being nice is highly overrated and doesn't get you anywhere.
The game and the natural were a pure waste 😑😒👎🏾
LOL. Ridiculous opening.
Maybe the reason why men think women don't approve of them thinking their sexually attracted, is because the first women they have a close relationship shunned such thinking about them - their mother.
I discovered Dr. Glover's book in 2009, and it completely changed my life. Each page was like reading my biography, it was incredible. I highly recommend it for men who are struggling.
A
Constantly nodding my head during this podcast lol.
Me too
I get the distinct feeling that the pejorative 'nice guy' is in fact a title for a manifestation of co-dependence.
Through minuets 10-16 or so, Glover goes over the SHAME & GUILT which are integral in the emotional realities of abused people. Emotionally, physically, & psychologically abused children become over-compensating adults who, in what they perceive as a heroic attempt to ensure that they NEVER effect anyone, or inflict the blame-shifting, the gaslighting, manipulative horrors they endured on anyone else. This, obviously, spills over into behaviors that these abused individuals cannot see the actual nature of. Just as they were forced to disassociate from the pain of their inescapable reality as children, so too are they blind to how negatively co-dependent behavior is effecting the way others treat them in adulthood. Their over-reaching attempts to handle everyone with the respect & focus they were robbed of throughout their lives, causes peers to consider them as something of a spineless afterthought, as none can see the deep psychological scars that ravage their inner selves. What compounds this even more is a culture of consumeristsic, emotional invalids who comodify one another. Narcissistic self-aggrandization & smug, cynical indifference wield a bullying influence over anyone who would actively reach out empathetically, & marginalize them a similar 'wet-blanket' for their sensitivity, without ever taking into account that these persecuted individuals are strong enough to carry the guilt & shame of abuse, & still have enough love & strength within them to extend to others. The very will that compels them to behave as the 'nice guy' is exactly what makes them the target of what boils down to an advanced form of victim blaming. The harder they try to make the world a better place than the one that turned a blind eye the suffering they survived, the more they are further abused for it. Thus forcing them to be the shamed scapegoat all over again.
Congratulations. Dr. Gibson. You've just put a stamp of approval on narcissism, supporting the certification of continued abuse towards good-hearted, well-intentioned people, whom are all apparently deserving of the guilt & shame they feel, for struggling to unfuck a world that beasts them down for having been beaten down.
Who the fuck is Dr Gibson?
This book made me cry, and I've already seen results one day after finishing it.
do u mean that?
of course, this author perfectly described my life and why I do what I do in relationships with others. it may be the same for you.
no more mr nice guy by robert glover. i think you'll like it a lot
Mike Trevor says the guy hate commenting at 2:51am who has such low self esteem he has to do it from behind a safe screen, because he hates himself so much while watching a self help video in the agonizing loneliness of the night. You're symptomatic man, even more so that you can't show your face in your picture.
The audiobook version is amazing as well. Started listening to it yesterday and realized a lot of those traits. Re-listening it again today and applying the changes.
I can feel my chest and hands trembling as he speaks of internalised shame and anxiety.
I suggest reading healing the shame that binds you by John Bradshaw I made some videos on it
femenazis today would call this "toxic masculinity".....
"Give me the guy version"
Let's see how that works.
I read the book but was lucky enough to have stumbled upon MGTOW videos at the age of 17 lol. MGTOW helped me get rid of my nice guy syndrome I had. I just read this book recently and it just reinforces my beliefs I got from MGTOW videos. A good review.
@@jetdeleon Men Guarding Their Own Wallets
Fantastic!! Great information and excellent interview - Thank you!
Andrew, thanks so much for this great interview xxx great value for lots of people
Rumination is due to low serotonin/dopamine, high crh, low gaba, low oxytocin and/or overexpression of the serotonin receptor subtype 5ht2a/c.
Can I find this book in Arabic?
This book destroyed my life. Cause it is accurate to the core. Knowing that I should be the exact opposite of what I am led me to disappointment. Now I don't know what's right or wrong. Worst yet, I learned about the healthy relationship and I REALLY don't like it.. this means I might never understand true healthy love and end up alone.
Do you want my help?
Watch my new client presentation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship that lasts: success.knowledgeformen.com/on-demand?el=yt
The men in prison can't get your book in prison from Amazon any longer. They need this book
like book
this is me
He says nice guys manage anxiety, but integrated men soothe themselves. Isn’t that the same thing?
WHAT A FREAKING PIECE OF GOLD I HAVE FOUND!!!
I let the Universe govern my steps. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌍🌎🌏
"What a man can do another man co do?" Really now?
Wow you sound really feeble when you're promising to give us all we dream about at the start of this video. A silent trembling whisper promises to "awaken the giant inside of [us]". How about you awaken the giant within yourself first. Also work on your diction, your consonants often blur into each other meaning you don't seem as sharp as you claim to be.
he does sound like a wuss. lol...but i read his book some years ago, and it was one of the most powerful books i've ever encountered. it was like he knew me better than myself.
Breaking bad
Well, based on this video --->>> I'm not a "nice guy".
Great stuff. I've ready Dr. Glover's book, it's a eye opener.