Ren wrote this here at the release of this song on june 29th 2023: "After Joe died the visits I paid to North Wales were fleeting. By being somewhere new I could be someone new. Brighton didn't just offer me a new chapter, it offered me a new book, and a whole new character. On Monday I would make the difficult journey home because of music and the fund raising efforts of my incredible following. We managed to raise an incredible £21,000 for the RNLI, an incredible team of volunteers, who risk their lives without pay to aid calls of distress from British shores. The night Joe went missing they were out on the choppy stretch of water between Anglesey and the Mainland, until 5am, looking for Joe, without pay, from the goodness of their hearts. They continued the search efforts for the entire following week until hope dwindled. They owed us nothing, and gave us everything. Yesterday I decided to pay a visit to Joe's mum and dad. I was asked to play them the new live session I recorded in Calgary. It was probably the most nervous I've been playing someone a video that I'd made. The topic isn't an easy one, especially for parents who have lost an incredible son. I nervously hit play, and the gravity of what I was showing sunk in and I began to cry. In the end we sat in silence, silently sobbing. Joes mum turned to me and smiled and we hugged, and I felt much lighter. It made me really realise I guess what I've always known. Music is far more than music. It's a channel of communication for the things that are impossible to say. It's a bridge between the living and the dead. It's a way to stay immortal. It's a way to resurrect the dead. It's a universal language. It cuts down barriers of the parts of you which are encapsulated in steel cast iron. It allows frozen rivers to thaw and become un-stagnant. I owe myself, my life, everything I am to music. Music is the closest thing to god I know. I am so grateful to be doing what I do and to tap into this mystic force. My life, my energy, myself, I eternally devote to it."
What I love is that because of Ren, Joe is being remembered. In a way he now belongs to all of us. For Joe's family and friends, for Ren, I hope there's a small comfort in that.
The "Freckled Angel" reference is simply that Joe was covered in freckles from head to toe. Ren made his first album from his bedroom while very ill, dedicating it to Joe by calling it Freckled Angel. There is also a restaurant called Freckled Angel on Dale Street, Menai Bridge (where Joe went missing from). If you are brave enough, Ren's Chapters 1 - 8 are narrated live by Ren outlining his journey through his illness. In chapter one he talks about how Joe's death kept him (Ren) from taking his own life. Ren opens himself up like no other artist does and leaves it all out there with honesty.
It’s called survivor guilt. It’s not easy to shake. I thought my own survivor guilt was gone. Every time I hear Ren sing Freckled Angels, Su!c!de, For Joe, or hear him play Mackay, my own pain rises to meet Ren’s. I’m also a highly empathetic person, like you are, but this goes way beyond empathy. The PTSD and guilt is still there. Therapy never stopped it, rationalizing it as out of my control doesn’t help. There is always a little part of you that asks, “what if….” Ren is still in pain, he still wonders on some level if he failed his friend in some way (this is part of survivor guilt), he’s still angry about loosing his best friend and his own innocence too…it comes out in the clipped and intense lines. Then he does frustration at society and in the verse when he is honoring and remembering his best friend, there’s appreciation, acceptance, and so much love. There’s still that lingering grief, pain and loss for Joe in the a cappella ending. It’s difficult to articulate how much impact this kind of loss has on a person’s soul. Yes, it does affect your health. Deep physiological scars from complex trauma (anything from being part of a war - soldiers and non combatants, to childhood neglect, violence, or sexual abuse.) Basically trauma will manifest itself in the physical body. There are many therapists who will claim that they can heal trauma victims. I’m over 60. I’ve seen plenty of therapists and modalities for my own childhood trauma. I have spent my life with animals and horses. Music and art. I have a compassionate husband and a few friends who get it. All of those things help by bringing me deep gratitude and joy for the moments of “flow state”that they bring to my life. The background pain is never 100% “cleared, gone for good, or put to rest”. Maybe it’s individual from person to person. That is my personal experience and I can on,y speak for myself, and for what I see, hear, and feel when I listen to Ren. His music is a beautiful outlet for him, and it helps me to release some of the tight grip I have on my own deeper feelings. I love and appreciate him for sharing his vulnerability and helping me to feel and hopefully process more of my grief and pain. It helps (and hurts) to know that we are not alone. My heart breaks for Ren, but at the same time, I have so much gratitude for him drawing me out from my inner abyss. It’s all because of Ren’s ability to authentically communicate these complicated emotions with his music, lyrics and voice. I cry every time I watch this video. It’s so healing. For anyone who is interested in more information on the mind / body connection; Bessel van der Kolk’s book “The Body Keeps the Score” is a comprehensive place to start. Dr van der Kolk’s work in the Veterans Administration in the 1970s helped identify PTSD as a condition. He also has many current interviews on RUclips. He completely changed the way therapists work with complex trauma and PTSD to a more compassionate and less demeaning approach. Beautiful reaction, Nikoletta. You are the first person who has mentioned the beautiful vocalization at the beginning sounds like weeping. To me, it does. ☮️💛🕳️🐇 from a granny Renegade
The lament at the start is so touching Also the Callum he mentions in his list of friends, accidentally drowns 6 months later. Ren wrote an instrumental piece in tribute to him 'Mackay'
He did a donation to the local search and rescue team, crossed the amount of the cheque and doubled it and expressed how much he appreciated what they did, they are all volunteers in the UK
Between the time the check was made out and he did the presentation, the donations went from 15,000 to 21,000 so then he wrote in the new amount. I was watching the fund go up and up every hour.
He started raising money for the RNLI on June 1st (Joes birthday) 2023 saying that he'll also donate 50 % of the profit on all copies of the Freckled Angels album that will go directly to Joes family. Initially there was a 5k target for the RNLI but he raised 14.500 but he made it 15k to satisfy his inner OCD. 2 days later (probably due to more donations, not 100 % sure) there were 21k for the RNLI and 8,5k for Joes parents. They've been saving up for a camper van and this would cover it. They named the van Joe. He also showed them For Joe and they all cried together and he said it was a beautiful moment he was avoiding for a long time ("the distance is my plastercast"). For Joe premiered a day after that. This is what Ren wrote on Joes birthday, I know it's long but it's so .. Ren
God, this song just GUTS me every single time. Ugh. It just rips my heart out and somehow also puts it back together. To go through something like that and then be able to turn it into such a beautiful piece of music? It's just insane. And I love him for it. He plays that piano like it's part of his own body and the same with his guitar. The talent is just off the charts with him. That's why he'll never be a main stream artist. He's better than that. He's special and his music is just a reflection of that. He speaks for a lot of people that can't or feel like they can't. It's cathartic. Edit to add: WOW!! That was so beautiful hearing your oohs and ahhs in the background. Made it so much more haunting. Your voice is stunning ma'am!
PS. Your kitty is adorable. I have his twin. 🐈⬛Cats are stress sponges. They’re so sensitive to our pain. It’s interesting to see the two moments when your cat decided you needed attention. Your “special surprise” was absolutely gorgeous and filled with waves of emotion. Thank you!
I think Ren doesn't perform these pieces. He IS it. He creates himself fully and we have been given a gift more than we deserve when Ren shares his bare soul.
Yeah, Ren said in an interview that he'd had a lot of therapy and does know that it was a situation he had no control over... but... accepting it with your mind, does not necessarily mean accepting it with your heart, so - who knows. Also, I kinda think Ren was never supposed to save Joe, but Joe did save Ren
Can’t believe you told that beautiful void to get out of there! You better have provided extra scritches afterwards. Kitty was doing a great job checking up on you and your equipment. Manager kitty deserves a raise if anything 😂 But seriously, beautiful and empathetic reaction as always 🖤
Not me crying at Freckled angels for the thousand time. When he beats himself in the chest.... And I get you with his heart rate and breath, at the beginning, plus the crying. ❤ I am also glad you did this one!
Thank you for your honest and genuine reaction. The background here is the Calgary, Canada skyline. As for the song, Ren's best friend, Joe Hughes, committed su!c!de on the 27th of December, 2010 by jumping off the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the mainland to the Isle of Anglesey where Ren and Joe lived. Ren alluded to it in one of his songs, stating that he lost his best friend before he was 25. The pain of this loss is evident in a few of his songs. "How to Be Me," "Freckled Angels," "Su!cIde," and this release, “For Joe,” are specifically dedicated to Joe. Ren posted some background on his relationship with Joe and the tragic event. Ren explained that he got a call from his friend Ella around 3 a.m. saying that Joe was on the Menai Bridge, He’d been on the phone with her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. Ren went out on foot attempting to get to Joe while trying to reach him on the phone. Just minutes before Ren got to the bridge, his friend's cell phone went out of service. The Coast Guard started a search to no avail. Ren, friends, and volunteers unsuccessfully searched the shoreline for ten days; Joe’s body was never recovered. Ren’s song "Su!cIde" gutted me, and I was not able to watch or listen to it again until now. I was not even able to watch a single reaction to it. It was a sad, haunting, gut-wrenching tribute. My best friend took his life 38 years ago. However, after listening to "For Joe" several times, I came to the realization that as sad and emotional as this song is, it has had a healing effect on me and has given me a sense of closure. Even the lyrics of the epilogue from "Su!cIde" that "gutted" me impacted me differently this time around. Anthony Ray (@AnthonyRay) said after reacting to this performance (I am paraphrasing) that he felt that after all these years, Ren seems to have found a measure of acceptance regarding the loss of his best friend. Anthony's comment suddenly made me aware of the song's impact on me, and I am actually able to watch or listen to "Su!cIde" again. Although I will probably not watch any reactions to it, as I consider this song to be much too personal, and watching someone else's grief would only compound my pain. Thomas Goldschmidt (@thomasgoldschmidt298) remarked, "For Joe" is a continuation of "Su!cIde," displaying the five stages of grief, adding acceptance to the end of his last song…..This song and the sobbing hug he received from Joe's mom after showing the video bring closure to all involved! I think ending "For Joe" with lines from Ren's song "Freckles Angels," which was an earlier tribute to Joe, left me with a more optimistic outlook. It is as if Ren is trying to tell us that even though some of our loved ones are physically gone from our lives, their memory continues to live in and through us. I think that is why I got a sense of closure and peace.
I knew of all the reactors, you would feel this down your the very soul. Ren rarely exposes such tenderness in his music, but this truly captures the very essence of his soul.
The middle section of this does a great job of reflecting the phase when your brain is conflicted by trauma, with short lines of big thoughts, then calming to a mood of resolution and more connected thinking which signifies recovery from grief. There's something deeply beautiful in this (combination) of pieces so in the story there's hope that grief will fade.
Freckled Angels helps me get through the loss of my best friend that was so much more to me than “best friend” can define. She was a beautiful person who suffered a year after getting sick. She has passed and it’s coming up on a year now and this song For Joe helps me to know I can still stand and keep moving and help others like she did. Thank you for this reaction it was beautiful
Really enjoyed your reaction and bonus singing at the end. This is one of my favorite Ren songs. Lost my best friend over 20 years ago from a DUI when I was 18. I heard this song about 6 months ago and the flood gate of emotions that I had bottled up for so long finally broke. Sitting at my kitchen table, by myself, eating breakfast listening to this and flat out ugly crying. I listen to it often now with a sad smile and as a reminder to myself to be aware of those things that weigh us down even the things we don’t think are. Maybe send this song to your student idk just sad to hear the flame of artistry dying from the weight of the world.
I had to shut my eyes to hear you. I think that’s your best backing vocal I’ve heard. There was a moment of Devine beauty between you and Ren in the middle there.
I'm regards to emotion and physical health/dis-ease.... You're absolutely right. There are even scientific studies that show that stress and negative emotions have a physical affect on our health. As a lupus patient, I can absolutely verify that increased stress and emotional turmoil lead to increased physical inflammation and pain, measurable by my blood work and joint pain.
Losing someone at that age changes you. My friend Chris - 23yo - part of the crew. We'd hang every day after work, the weekends. Made music Did stupid young boys stuff, got in a bit of trouble, all the usual, sneaking backstage at concert you name it, we were invincible... Testicular cancer. Out of no where. I was visiting my family when I heard. 5 days before I would be home. He died the day before I got home. He was too weak to even answer his phone so I never got to say goodbye or even tell him I was on my way. 15 years and I am balling like a f*cking toddler, life became real that day - a little too real.
Yeah Right!?! You can't be a musician or a music lover and go through Ren's rabbit hole and not have those exact reactions. Normally if I heard a song with a jazzy vocal run like that and I would tune right out having a clear idea of what's coming next. But with Ren, it's just icing and decorations and what's coming next is going to be a surprising as hearing the amazing musical journey that's coming next. Additionally it's incredibly relatable, Ren is such a master of writing things is such a manner that they're flashbacks for half the world's lived experience. And then of course his performances and the attention to detail are so going to delight and surprise you again. Ren is the embodiment of what true artist types are aiming for, and he does it with a humility that inspires rather than discourages. And As always your reactions are the very embodiment of the emotional roller coaster that most of us go on but may not emote visually. I can't wait until you get to Mackay and Heretic! Insomnia is incredible also. Shoot Rens whole catalog is something to behold. Lol Man I am just thankful for this man and the community that has grown from his art and music! That includes the reaction community! Also the line about looking down and seeing tranquility... here's some context. From what I've saw of this back story Ren said he received a call at around 3amish from one of he and Joe's mutual friends or possible Joe's girlfriend. She told Ren he was on the bridge and about to jump. So Ren took off on foot and ran to the bridge which was about 5 minutes away. So Ren was the first one to get there, so he quite literally looked down at a peaceful river with no signs of what had just happened.
For Joe and Mackay just hit different for me, there is just something about the soaring runs on the keyboard that sounds like a release. A release of years of pain and torment. 'With their wings, they fly the farthest So I know you're gonna be okay'
If you watch the Knox interview Ren intellectually and logically knows there wasn’t anything he could have done that night but emotionally is another thing… the empty cup. But notice there is a bottle of light (lights) to fill the empty cup. The previous produced video was dark and filled with pain and frustration. This starts with that pain but continues with what Joe and all his actions has taught and given Ren. That bottle of light to fill the empty cup. Not only a crafted masterpiece but preformed extremely well with the help from Sam
Love your reactions to Ren's videos. I've been enjoying your content for a bit now. I'd recommend checking out his Chapters series. He lays out the course of his life, warts and all. Really informs even greater understanding of his music. Also, your kitty was adorably stealing the show on the background. Lol
I know (surely?!) Ren knows intellectually that he helps people, but I hope he *REALLY * knows in his soul that he does. He's taken the hardships he has endured and continues to endure and become a beacon. I'd like to hug him and thank him and honour him in equal measure. Amazing artist.
You made my cry once again - beautiful Nikoletta, as Ren also did, but for this song I cry every time for Ten and Joe. p.s how amazing are our kitties, I feel like he or she (I don’t know which) they sense when we are emotional or sick and they always stay nearby for support. Thank you Nikoletta 🙏❤️
Great reaction Nicole. The last half of the tribute to Joe is continuation of 2 other songs you should definitely check out. Dominoes and Freckled Angels, which was the song Ren wrote and performed at Joe's funeral. Cheers and keep up the great, honest reaction. Much love.
Nikoletta, I am not sure if you reacted to both 'Freckled Angels' or 'Dominos', but both are referenced in this song along with 'Suicide' which I know you have seen. I suggest you react to those two videos, since they are pure beauty.
This finally let him release himself from the cycle of survivor's guilt. He was also able to pay a visit to Joe's family, and make a huge donation to the emergency response team that combed the river that night. Oh, the feels...just hits me everytime. EDIT: That surprise was amazing. I'm usually only a little teary by the end. You turned it up to eleven. Brava!
The juxtaposition of you starting your break down of the song, while in the background the cat was doing cat stuff(including biting the mic stand) was fantastic
This was the last of the songs that are directly about and for Joe, but he ( in my opinion ) gets lyrics in SLAUGHTERHOUSE. The melody at the end is Freckled Angels. An ending with the beginning, a way of creating an infinite loop of sorts. Ren also ran a fundraiser prior to this for the search and rescue team ( all volunteer) and blew through his original goal and the updated goal. He went home and played this for Joe’s parents and gave them the proceeds from the sales of Freckled Angels during the same time period. Ren writes his truth and he sings with his heart, that’s why we connect with him, and why love him so much.❤
Wow, thanks for this reaction, but also your added harmonies afterwards that were so subtle yet complimentary to Ren's voice and instrumentation. That was a breath of fresh air from other reactions and quite enjoyable, nicely done 👏
When I first heard this I didn't know Ren could play piano like that. I knew he played piano but didn't know he could compose music like this. I knew he could create lyrics and obviously bars in Rap but then this performance. Just amazed me. And this was after watching/ listening/absorbing S*icide.
Love your reactions Nikoletta, I also love Ren and the kind community he has built. This song hits me personally then to hear our lovely Ren so emotional in his voice about it too, it all hits me rather hard this song and Freckled Angels ❤
I'm happy to cry with you. Ren really samples his own catalog to pull together a piece that exposes his whole soul. It is inspiring for me to see and feel such bravery. Genius and courage together. The close breathing start shows up in many pieces and really puts you right there with him. Within touch, connected.
I’ve never seen an individual that can emote music like you can. That’s part of the reason that he can stand next to singers with better voices, but he will still steal the show. Now come over is so special and his ability to encapsulate his emotions in words is phenomenal.🎉
From what Ren said he was with Joe the night before and Joe mentioned something about ending it but Ren said he didn’t think much of and didn’t realize it at the time that it was a call for help. Then the following night ren got a call from a friend saying Joe was on the bridge and going to jump and Ren ran to the bridge and missed Joe by minutes. The survivor guilt is a hard thing to deal with but this experience showed Ren that suicide was not the way out as he has had suicidal thoughts at times and he knew he could never do that to his friends and family. It’s a beautiful piece of art dedicated to his friend Joe!
This is beautiful dedication. Have you did his dedication video called Mackay ? It’s to his other buddy that lost his life I think drowned saving someone from drowning don’t quote me on that but it’s a beautiful piece also. His friend was Callum Mackay song just Mackay. If haven’t watched I think you would like it. Callum is also one of the names of his buddies in For Joe. Great reactions. Wanted to say I love your name Nikoletta very pretty love spelled with k instead of c. Happy new year much love happiness and wellness to you and everyone for upcoming year ❤🫶
I agree. Ren isn't just extremely talented in every respect. Someone with his ability that is also humble and so relatable to us "normal folk" is refreshing and heartwarming. Feel better soon, Ren!
I'm not sure how you made it through without crying. I didn't and NEVER can, and I've been listening to it for years. I know you were close and held it back well!
There is an amazing interview with Justin Hawkins that goes over how he taught himself and how he creates his music (among other things) that is worth checking out ruclips.net/video/EcU4iNM6hNQ/видео.htmlsi=JbBg__krDCitrINF
These songs, and your reactions are so genuine. I lost my best friend fo 25 years to suicide 4 months ago. Seeing Ren still going through the pain I am feeling makes me feel normal. Seeing your reactions and emotions to these songs, which are the same as my reactions, makes me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you. @muchlove
Ren bought Joe's Mum a Caravan & did a Fundraiser for the Royal National Lifeboat Institute who helped search for Joe. That shows the sort of person he is. Such a beautiful but sad song.
Ive all ways wounder what it was like to be alive and hearing a join Lennon song on the radio for the first time. i imagine it felt like hearing a Ren song for the first time.
Just in case you want to lighten things up for your next reaction try : "loco" - you can experience his beat boxing skills as well as his rapping or the "1990es" lyric video to enjoy his love of pop culture or the "Love music" series parts 1-4 to enjoy the jazziness and funkiness of the music alongside his raps. This was a terrific reaction
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Do you want to learn how to sing classically with ease? Join my community for FREE- www.skool.com/thepeakperformingvocalistfree/about
Ren wrote this here at the release of this song on june 29th 2023:
"After Joe died the visits I paid to North Wales were fleeting. By being somewhere new I could be someone new. Brighton didn't just offer me a new chapter, it offered me a new book, and a whole new character.
On Monday I would make the difficult journey home because of music and the fund raising efforts of my incredible following. We managed to raise an incredible £21,000 for the RNLI, an incredible team of volunteers, who risk their lives without pay to aid calls of distress from British shores. The night Joe went missing they were out on the choppy stretch of water between Anglesey and the Mainland, until 5am, looking for Joe, without pay, from the goodness of their hearts. They continued the search efforts for the entire following week until hope dwindled. They owed us nothing, and gave us everything.
Yesterday I decided to pay a visit to Joe's mum and dad. I was asked to play them the new live session I recorded in Calgary. It was probably the most nervous I've been playing someone a video that I'd made. The topic isn't an easy one, especially for parents who have lost an incredible son. I nervously hit play, and the gravity of what I was showing sunk in and I began to cry. In the end we sat in silence, silently sobbing. Joes mum turned to me and smiled and we hugged, and I felt much lighter.
It made me really realise I guess what I've always known. Music is far more than music. It's a channel of communication for the things that are impossible to say. It's a bridge between the living and the dead. It's a way to stay immortal. It's a way to resurrect the dead. It's a universal language. It cuts down barriers of the parts of you which are encapsulated in steel cast iron. It allows frozen rivers to thaw and become un-stagnant. I owe myself, my life, everything I am to music. Music is the closest thing to god I know. I am so grateful to be doing what I do and to tap into this mystic force. My life, my energy, myself, I eternally devote to it."
“Music is a way to stay immortal”. I guess this was one of the major reasons he wrote Freckled Angel.
What I love is that because of Ren, Joe is being remembered. In a way he now belongs to all of us. For Joe's family and friends, for Ren, I hope there's a small comfort in that.
@sharis9095 This is the kindest, truest comment I've ever read on the internet. 💯
The "Freckled Angel" reference is simply that Joe was covered in freckles from head to toe. Ren made his first album from his bedroom while very ill, dedicating it to Joe by calling it Freckled Angel. There is also a restaurant called Freckled Angel on Dale Street, Menai Bridge (where Joe went missing from). If you are brave enough, Ren's Chapters 1 - 8 are narrated live by Ren outlining his journey through his illness. In chapter one he talks about how Joe's death kept him (Ren) from taking his own life. Ren opens himself up like no other artist does and leaves it all out there with honesty.
It’s called survivor guilt. It’s not easy to shake. I thought my own survivor guilt was gone. Every time I hear Ren sing Freckled Angels, Su!c!de, For Joe, or hear him play Mackay, my own pain rises to meet Ren’s. I’m also a highly empathetic person, like you are, but this goes way beyond empathy. The PTSD and guilt is still there. Therapy never stopped it, rationalizing it as out of my control doesn’t help. There is always a little part of you that asks, “what if….” Ren is still in pain, he still wonders on some level if he failed his friend in some way (this is part of survivor guilt), he’s still angry about loosing his best friend and his own innocence too…it comes out in the clipped and intense lines. Then he does frustration at society and in the verse when he is honoring and remembering his best friend, there’s appreciation, acceptance, and so much love. There’s still that lingering grief, pain and loss for Joe in the a cappella ending. It’s difficult to articulate how much impact this kind of loss has on a person’s soul. Yes, it does affect your health. Deep physiological scars from complex trauma (anything from being part of a war - soldiers and non combatants, to childhood neglect, violence, or sexual abuse.) Basically trauma will manifest itself in the physical body. There are many therapists who will claim that they can heal trauma victims. I’m over 60. I’ve seen plenty of therapists and modalities for my own childhood trauma. I have spent my life with animals and horses. Music and art. I have a compassionate husband and a few friends who get it. All of those things help by bringing me deep gratitude and joy for the moments of “flow state”that they bring to my life. The background pain is never 100% “cleared, gone for good, or put to rest”. Maybe it’s individual from person to person. That is my personal experience and I can on,y speak for myself, and for what I see, hear, and feel when I listen to Ren. His music is a beautiful outlet for him, and it helps me to release some of the tight grip I have on my own deeper feelings. I love and appreciate him for sharing his vulnerability and helping me to feel and hopefully process more of my grief and pain. It helps (and hurts) to know that we are not alone. My heart breaks for Ren, but at the same time, I have so much gratitude for him drawing me out from my inner abyss. It’s all because of Ren’s ability to authentically communicate these complicated emotions with his music, lyrics and voice. I cry every time I watch this video. It’s so healing.
For anyone who is interested in more information on the mind / body connection; Bessel van der Kolk’s book “The Body Keeps the Score” is a comprehensive place to start. Dr van der Kolk’s work in the Veterans Administration in the 1970s helped identify PTSD as a condition. He also has many current interviews on RUclips. He completely changed the way therapists work with complex trauma and PTSD to a more compassionate and less demeaning approach.
Beautiful reaction, Nikoletta. You are the first person who has mentioned the beautiful vocalization at the beginning sounds like weeping. To me, it does. ☮️💛🕳️🐇 from a granny Renegade
The lament at the start is so touching
Also the Callum he mentions in his list of friends, accidentally drowns 6 months later. Ren wrote an instrumental piece in tribute to him
'Mackay'
He did a donation to the local search and rescue team, crossed the amount of the cheque and doubled it and expressed how much he appreciated what they did, they are all volunteers in the UK
Between the time the check was made out and he did the presentation, the donations went from 15,000 to 21,000 so then he wrote in the new amount. I was watching the fund go up and up every hour.
Great moment. Never thought I would be donating to a Welsh search and rescue but it felt so good 😊
I gave $50 towards it... wish I could've given more at the time!
One things for sure... if Ren recommends a charity... it's worth it!
He started raising money for the RNLI on June 1st (Joes birthday) 2023 saying that he'll also donate 50 % of the profit on all copies of the Freckled Angels album that will go directly to Joes family. Initially there was a 5k target for the RNLI but he raised 14.500 but he made it 15k to satisfy his inner OCD. 2 days later (probably due to more donations, not 100 % sure) there were 21k for the RNLI and 8,5k for Joes parents. They've been saving up for a camper van and this would cover it. They named the van Joe. He also showed them For Joe and they all cried together and he said it was a beautiful moment he was avoiding for a long time ("the distance is my plastercast"). For Joe premiered a day after that.
This is what Ren wrote on Joes birthday, I know it's long but it's so .. Ren
It is impossible to not tear up watching this. Every single time I watch I end up a sobbing mess. Thanks for another great reaction.
I’d love to see you react to Precious by The Big Push. Further down the Ren rabbit hole we go
Precious: so beautiful, the song, his lyrics, the meaning, his voice, the band, the video...
God, this song just GUTS me every single time. Ugh. It just rips my heart out and somehow also puts it back together. To go through something like that and then be able to turn it into such a beautiful piece of music? It's just insane. And I love him for it. He plays that piano like it's part of his own body and the same with his guitar. The talent is just off the charts with him. That's why he'll never be a main stream artist. He's better than that. He's special and his music is just a reflection of that. He speaks for a lot of people that can't or feel like they can't. It's cathartic.
Edit to add: WOW!! That was so beautiful hearing your oohs and ahhs in the background. Made it so much more haunting. Your voice is stunning ma'am!
PS. Your kitty is adorable. I have his twin. 🐈⬛Cats are stress sponges. They’re so sensitive to our pain. It’s interesting to see the two moments when your cat decided you needed attention. Your “special surprise” was absolutely gorgeous and filled with waves of emotion. Thank you!
Thanks for doing this one. You're very brave to watch this song on cam.
I think Ren doesn't perform these pieces. He IS it. He creates himself fully and we have been given a gift more than we deserve when Ren shares his bare soul.
110%
Yeah, Ren said in an interview that he'd had a lot of therapy and does know that it was a situation he had no control over... but... accepting it with your mind, does not necessarily mean accepting it with your heart, so - who knows. Also, I kinda think Ren was never supposed to save Joe, but Joe did save Ren
Sat at work watching tears flowing from my eyes, does me every time that dammed Ren
The way you close your eyes and feel the music is how everyone should hear music. Ren makes it so easy to do that. Just phenomenal.
The Cat: "why don't you do a cat reaction video for once" 🤣
Can’t believe you told that beautiful void to get out of there! You better have provided extra scritches afterwards. Kitty was doing a great job checking up on you and your equipment. Manager kitty deserves a raise if anything 😂
But seriously, beautiful and empathetic reaction as always 🖤
Not me crying at Freckled angels for the thousand time. When he beats himself in the chest....
And I get you with his heart rate and breath, at the beginning, plus the crying. ❤
I am also glad you did this one!
Oh and btw: The last part was a section from his song "Freckled Angels" from the album of the same name.
An album that he released in honor of Joe.
His live performance of Freckled Angles is so incredible!
Thank you for your honest and genuine reaction. The background here is the Calgary, Canada skyline. As for the song, Ren's best friend, Joe Hughes, committed su!c!de on the 27th of December, 2010 by jumping off the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the mainland to the Isle of Anglesey where Ren and Joe lived. Ren alluded to it in one of his songs, stating that he lost his best friend before he was 25. The pain of this loss is evident in a few of his songs. "How to Be Me," "Freckled Angels," "Su!cIde," and this release, “For Joe,” are specifically dedicated to Joe.
Ren posted some background on his relationship with Joe and the tragic event. Ren explained that he got a call from his friend Ella around 3 a.m. saying that Joe was on the Menai Bridge, He’d been on the phone with her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. Ren went out on foot attempting to get to Joe while trying to reach him on the phone. Just minutes before Ren got to the bridge, his friend's cell phone went out of service. The Coast Guard started a search to no avail. Ren, friends, and volunteers unsuccessfully searched the shoreline for ten days; Joe’s body was never recovered.
Ren’s song "Su!cIde" gutted me, and I was not able to watch or listen to it again until now. I was not even able to watch a single reaction to it. It was a sad, haunting, gut-wrenching tribute. My best friend took his life 38 years ago. However, after listening to "For Joe" several times, I came to the realization that as sad and emotional as this song is, it has had a healing effect on me and has given me a sense of closure. Even the lyrics of the epilogue from "Su!cIde" that "gutted" me impacted me differently this time around.
Anthony Ray (@AnthonyRay) said after reacting to this performance (I am paraphrasing) that he felt that after all these years, Ren seems to have found a measure of acceptance regarding the loss of his best friend. Anthony's comment suddenly made me aware of the song's impact on me, and I am actually able to watch or listen to "Su!cIde" again. Although I will probably not watch any reactions to it, as I consider this song to be much too personal, and watching someone else's grief would only compound my pain.
Thomas Goldschmidt (@thomasgoldschmidt298) remarked, "For Joe" is a continuation of "Su!cIde," displaying the five stages of grief, adding acceptance to the end of his last song…..This song and the sobbing hug he received from Joe's mom after showing the video bring closure to all involved!
I think ending "For Joe" with lines from Ren's song "Freckles Angels," which was an earlier tribute to Joe, left me with a more optimistic outlook. It is as if Ren is trying to tell us that even though some of our loved ones are physically gone from our lives, their memory continues to live in and through us. I think that is why I got a sense of closure and peace.
I knew of all the reactors, you would feel this down your the very soul. Ren rarely exposes such tenderness in his music, but this truly captures the very essence of his soul.
The middle section of this does a great job of reflecting the phase when your brain is conflicted by trauma, with short lines of big thoughts, then calming to a mood of resolution and more connected thinking which signifies recovery from grief. There's something deeply beautiful in this (combination) of pieces so in the story there's hope that grief will fade.
Freckled Angels helps me get through the loss of my best friend that was so much more to me than “best friend” can define. She was a beautiful person who suffered a year after getting sick. She has passed and it’s coming up on a year now and this song For Joe helps me to know I can still stand and keep moving and help others like she did. Thank you for this reaction it was beautiful
😍👌👊
yeah I feel you, I lost my sister and that song helps me as well as the vocal version of Forsaken by VNV Nation (more of a synthpop/future pop sound)
@ I’m sorry for your loss. It leaves such a hole … lifting you up in prayer! I will have to try and check it out
Really enjoyed your reaction and bonus singing at the end. This is one of my favorite Ren songs. Lost my best friend over 20 years ago from a DUI when I was 18. I heard this song about 6 months ago and the flood gate of emotions that I had bottled up for so long finally broke. Sitting at my kitchen table, by myself, eating breakfast listening to this and flat out ugly crying. I listen to it often now with a sad smile and as a reminder to myself to be aware of those things that weigh us down even the things we don’t think are. Maybe send this song to your student idk just sad to hear the flame of artistry dying from the weight of the world.
I had to shut my eyes to hear you. I think that’s your best backing vocal I’ve heard. There was a moment of Devine beauty between you and Ren in the middle there.
Just from the "wow" at the beginning.... Ren McKay ❤❤ no words even needed ❣️
I'm regards to emotion and physical health/dis-ease.... You're absolutely right. There are even scientific studies that show that stress and negative emotions have a physical affect on our health.
As a lupus patient, I can absolutely verify that increased stress and emotional turmoil lead to increased physical inflammation and pain, measurable by my blood work and joint pain.
Losing someone at that age changes you.
My friend Chris - 23yo - part of the crew. We'd hang every day after work, the weekends. Made music Did stupid young boys stuff, got in a bit of trouble, all the usual, sneaking backstage at concert you name it, we were invincible...
Testicular cancer.
Out of no where.
I was visiting my family when I heard. 5 days before I would be home.
He died the day before I got home. He was too weak to even answer his phone so I never got to say goodbye or even tell him I was on my way.
15 years and I am balling like a f*cking toddler, life became real that day - a little too real.
I really loved the ethereal touch you added to this beautiful song. Great job
Yeah Right!?! You can't be a musician or a music lover and go through Ren's rabbit hole and not have those exact reactions.
Normally if I heard a song with a jazzy vocal run like that and I would tune right out having a clear idea of what's coming next. But with Ren, it's just icing and decorations and what's coming next is going to be a surprising as hearing the amazing musical journey that's coming next.
Additionally it's incredibly relatable, Ren is such a master of writing things is such a manner that they're flashbacks for half the world's lived experience. And then of course his performances and the attention to detail are so going to delight and surprise you again.
Ren is the embodiment of what true artist types are aiming for, and he does it with a humility that inspires rather than discourages.
And As always your reactions are the very embodiment of the emotional roller coaster that most of us go on but may not emote visually. I can't wait until you get to Mackay and Heretic! Insomnia is incredible also. Shoot Rens whole catalog is something to behold. Lol
Man I am just thankful for this man and the community that has grown from his art and music!
That includes the reaction community!
Also the line about looking down and seeing tranquility... here's some context.
From what I've saw of this back story Ren said he received a call at around 3amish from one of he and Joe's mutual friends or possible Joe's girlfriend. She told Ren he was on the bridge and about to jump. So Ren took off on foot and ran to the bridge which was about 5 minutes away.
So Ren was the first one to get there, so he quite literally looked down at a peaceful river with no signs of what had just happened.
Your empathy is beautiful to see
For Joe and Mackay just hit different for me, there is just something about the soaring runs on the keyboard that sounds like a release. A release of years of pain and torment. 'With their wings, they fly the farthest
So I know you're gonna be okay'
Nicolette you have such a beautiful spirit. I love your reactions.
Thats in Calgary, Canada 🇨🇦, Saddle Dome in background
cool :)
If you watch the Knox interview Ren intellectually and logically knows there wasn’t anything he could have done that night but emotionally is another thing… the empty cup.
But notice there is a bottle of light (lights) to fill the empty cup.
The previous produced video was dark and filled with pain and frustration. This starts with that pain but continues with what Joe and all his actions has taught and given Ren. That bottle of light to fill the empty cup. Not only a crafted masterpiece but preformed extremely well with the help from Sam
Love your reactions to Ren's videos. I've been enjoying your content for a bit now. I'd recommend checking out his Chapters series. He lays out the course of his life, warts and all. Really informs even greater understanding of his music.
Also, your kitty was adorably stealing the show on the background. Lol
I know (surely?!) Ren knows intellectually that he helps people, but I hope he *REALLY * knows in his soul that he does. He's taken the hardships he has endured and continues to endure and become a beacon.
I'd like to hug him and thank him and honour him in equal measure. Amazing artist.
You made my cry once again - beautiful Nikoletta, as Ren also did, but for this song I cry every time for Ten and Joe.
p.s how amazing are our kitties, I feel like he or she (I don’t know which) they sense when we are emotional or sick and they always stay nearby for support.
Thank you Nikoletta 🙏❤️
Painting pictures in musical rhyme is Rens's strength. Skills, ability, and reaching our hearts and minds learning to be better every day.
Kitty Luv! 💜
Nikoletta giving us some somber, serious, musical analysis, meanwhile her cat chews on the mic arm :D
you NEED to react to his song "McKay" - the most painfully beautiful song ever.
Loved what you added to this one. Beautifully done. 💜
Thank you so much 🙏🏻
Great reaction Nicole. The last half of the tribute to Joe is continuation of 2 other songs you should definitely check out. Dominoes and Freckled Angels, which was the song Ren wrote and performed at Joe's funeral. Cheers and keep up the great, honest reaction. Much love.
This one always leaves me in tears. Beautiful ❤
Nikoletta, I am not sure if you reacted to both 'Freckled Angels' or 'Dominos', but both are referenced in this song along with 'Suicide' which I know you have seen. I suggest you react to those two videos, since they are pure beauty.
Wonderful tribute to Joe 🫶🏻
Beautiful “surprise”. Love how you augment, not overpower. ❤️
Closer my eyes & felt this even deeper in my soul, and I didn’t think that was possible…..stunningly beautiful “surprise” 💔🙏
R.I.P JOE HUGHES ❤❤❤
Thank you for this, loved your reaction and comments. Your 'surprise' which is always a treat, was absolutely stunningly beautiful here. 👏👏👏🔥🎶♥
😂Great suprise .Loved your vocals❤❤❤
Stunning surprise at the end.
Your Ren reactions are A class and the best on this platform. love ya
This finally let him release himself from the cycle of survivor's guilt. He was also able to pay a visit to Joe's family, and make a huge donation to the emergency response team that combed the river that night. Oh, the feels...just hits me everytime.
EDIT: That surprise was amazing. I'm usually only a little teary by the end. You turned it up to eleven. Brava!
Amazing reaction. Completely agree!!
The juxtaposition of you starting your break down of the song, while in the background the cat was doing cat stuff(including biting the mic stand) was fantastic
That at the end that you did was incredible. I immediately teared up. Such a beautiful voice.
I am really glad I found your reaction channel. It has been one of the best Ren rabbit Journeys I have seen .
This was the last of the songs that are directly about and for Joe, but he ( in my opinion ) gets lyrics in SLAUGHTERHOUSE. The melody at the end is Freckled Angels. An ending with the beginning, a way of creating an infinite loop of sorts. Ren also ran a fundraiser prior to this for the search and rescue team ( all volunteer) and blew through his original goal and the updated goal. He went home and played this for Joe’s parents and gave them the proceeds from the sales of Freckled Angels during the same time period. Ren writes his truth and he sings with his heart, that’s why we connect with him, and why love him so much.❤
Wow, thanks for this reaction, but also your added harmonies afterwards that were so subtle yet complimentary to Ren's voice and instrumentation. That was a breath of fresh air from other reactions and quite enjoyable, nicely done 👏
I'm soooo glad I didn't see this when I was at the hospital earlier... so glad I'm at home. I haven't even started it and I'm nervous
You just started and I was screaming and shaking my head telling you that in fact you are NOT ready girlie. 😢 Ren takes you there
Been awhile since I’ve seen that gem. Gut wrenching. Love seeing someone who appreciates the genius that is Ren❤
Rens song Mckay would be a good follow on to this next
When I first heard this I didn't know Ren could play piano like that. I knew he played piano but didn't know he could compose music like this. I knew he could create lyrics and obviously bars in Rap but then this performance. Just amazed me. And this was after watching/ listening/absorbing S*icide.
Love your reactions Nikoletta, I also love Ren and the kind community he has built. This song hits me personally then to hear our lovely Ren so emotional in his voice about it too, it all hits me rather hard this song and Freckled Angels ❤
i could tell you were feeling that with your surprise. simply lovely
Loved your surprise
Very nice take Nikoletta. You are the best. And your videos are very respectful toward REN. Thank you.
3 videos a week Awesome 😁👍
I also think you will LOVE what he does with his voice on the acoustic version of "Genesis". PLEASE put that on your list!
I'm happy to cry with you.
Ren really samples his own catalog to pull together a piece that exposes his whole soul. It is inspiring for me to see and feel such bravery. Genius and courage together.
The close breathing start shows up in many pieces and really puts you right there with him. Within touch, connected.
I’ve never seen an individual that can emote music like you can. That’s part of the reason that he can stand next to singers with better voices, but he will still steal the show. Now come over is so special and his ability to encapsulate his emotions in words is phenomenal.🎉
From what Ren said he was with Joe the night before and Joe mentioned something about ending it but Ren said he didn’t think much of and didn’t realize it at the time that it was a call for help. Then the following night ren got a call from a friend saying Joe was on the bridge and going to jump and Ren ran to the bridge and missed Joe by minutes. The survivor guilt is a hard thing to deal with but this experience showed Ren that suicide was not the way out as he has had suicidal thoughts at times and he knew he could never do that to his friends and family. It’s a beautiful piece of art dedicated to his friend Joe!
This is beautiful dedication. Have you did his dedication video called Mackay ? It’s to his other buddy that lost his life I think drowned saving someone from drowning don’t quote me on that but it’s a beautiful piece also. His friend was Callum Mackay song just Mackay. If haven’t watched I think you would like it. Callum is also one of the names of his buddies in For Joe. Great reactions. Wanted to say I love your name Nikoletta very pretty love spelled with k instead of c. Happy new year much love happiness and wellness to you and everyone for upcoming year ❤🫶
I can't imagine how hard it was for Ren to sing this for Joes parents when he visited Wales with the donations
I agree. Ren isn't just extremely talented in every respect. Someone with his ability that is also humble and so relatable to us "normal folk" is refreshing and heartwarming.
Feel better soon, Ren!
I'm not sure how you made it through without crying. I didn't and NEVER can, and I've been listening to it for years. I know you were close and held it back well!
I think these tributes to Joe allowed him to put all of his grief out there and bring himself some closure ❤
I'd love to see your reaction to precious.
Beautiful
I love how we all ask, "can you get down?" Like it has ever one worked on our cats 😅
Such an incredible reaction! Maybe your best yet! I’ve loved them all but this one was special! ❤
It's a special song(s) ❤
Beautiful...thank you!
Thanks for that, this is one of my favourites, emotional, stunning.
There is an amazing interview with Justin Hawkins that goes over how he taught himself and how he creates his music (among other things) that is worth checking out
ruclips.net/video/EcU4iNM6hNQ/видео.htmlsi=JbBg__krDCitrINF
These songs, and your reactions are so genuine. I lost my best friend fo 25 years to suicide 4 months ago. Seeing Ren still going through the pain I am feeling makes me feel normal. Seeing your reactions and emotions to these songs, which are the same as my reactions, makes me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you. @muchlove
Ren bought Joe's Mum a Caravan & did a Fundraiser for the Royal National Lifeboat Institute who helped search for Joe. That shows the sort of person he is. Such a beautiful but sad song.
He shares his heart and soul with us and I love him for it. His raw emotion reminds me of Chester Bennington from Linkin Park.
Great react video!
Surprise spoiler...
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Your beautiful added background vocals gave me chills. That was amazing.
Ive all ways wounder what it was like to be alive and hearing a join Lennon song on the radio for the first time. i imagine it felt like hearing a Ren song for the first time.
11:05 I went from crying to near dying in laughter watching your cat in the background 😂
Think you should check out freckled angels and dominos both songs were referenced in this one
Just in case you want to lighten things up for your next reaction try : "loco" - you can experience his beat boxing skills as well as his rapping or the "1990es" lyric video to enjoy his love of pop culture or the "Love music" series parts 1-4 to enjoy the jazziness and funkiness of the music alongside his raps. This was a terrific reaction
Beautiful song, beautiful reaction.❤🎉
nice to see u speechless;)and yes...Ren is a genius!!