Santa Robbed Our House
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Come see me live:
July 3 Calgary, AB bit.ly/4ehz2hM
Sept 13-15 Ontario, Calif. bit.ly/4bFwkRo
Sept 19-21 Phoenix, AZ bit.ly/4agm7JP
Check out joshjohnsoncom... for more dates!
Hey Friends, wanted to share part of my set from The Comedy Cellar last night
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
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Drop a comment if you loved or hated the set, and especially if you're unsure. Subscribe for more. Thanks for being my friends!
Hi Friends! Thank you so much for watching. Let’s see if we can get this video to 15k likes! Upcoming Live Shows in Hasbrouck Heights NJ, West Nyack NY, Burlington VT and more. www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for tickets
How are you not world famous? You're so relatable, dude. My mom laughs every time I look at her and simply say "you're drying your hands with a fart!"
Were you happy with what you've gifted yourself this Christmas? I brought me a tablet so I can see your jokes clearly. 😂😂😂😂
Interesting psychology about badly wrapped gifts, it makes people lower their expectation for what the gift actually is so that when it turns out to be something nice they liked it more. Look it up. I swear I'm not just making it up. I read that somewhere!
12k, you're g9nna make it! Happy New Year's, Josh!
I’m seeing you in Hasbrouck Heights and can’t wait! Merry Christmas!
Always tells the best "from the kid's perspective" stories!
The real question is, how does Step-Dad Darren know how Santa bleeds?
Stepdad Darren... I'm sorry, but I'm a 38yo widow with a 4yo son, and I almost hate to say it but when the time comes I want him to have a "Stepdad Whomever"😂😂
Santa can't bleed. Do you see how many Chimney he goes down? He's made of magic.
Look, stepdad Darren really tried to save the magic of Christmas. Shout out to him!
LITERALLY SO SOUL SATIsfying to see ya on Trevor Noah’s new podcast episodes!!!!!!!!!!!! Making my LIFE
Thanks Josh! You are a superstar. I see you going very far in life! ❤❤❤
Was Chanel West Coasf in the front row? Great set but there was alot of dolphin laughing.
Frontrow lady sounds like
ChipNUN
vs.a
ChipMUNK 🐿
I'm one of those crazies who went to NYC for Christmas this year hahaha, its a family tradition. And I didn't even think to check to see if you were performing. As Trump says, SAD!!!
Noo Santa 🤶 🧑🎄 noo lol😂
The intro music has notes of INXS
Woody the Wood Pecker in the audience 🐦
That chick that's laughing sounds like a sheep lmaooo
How tf does this dude always have fresh content?!
Marijuana
he's just innately funny at making any situation funny. cheers to the future and another year of josh makin hilarious bits
@@brooklyna007 You would think, but (according to him) he doesn't even smoke!
Fr. Every week he comes out with like 10 new minutes of bangers
@@stephenomenal901 damn. Then I'm impressed.
"I'm 11. I don't have keys. You just got me rusting metal."
🤣🤣🤣
Josh, I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Thank you for all your hard work in your craft and keeping the content coming. I know it must feel a lot like a job now but I just wanted to let you know I really appreciate what you do. Laughter is probably one of the best things in the world and you are insanely funny and talented naturally. Have a happy new years and I look forward to your Netflix special 🙏❤
What Gamertyper6476 said! Josh is awesome!
This comment is everything I wanted to say! 🙂
this young guy is blessed with talent..he's hilarious! Hope he keeps it up!!
Definitely showing the kid that it was a burglar was the best choice.
As a parent, I would freeze up. What's worse, the fiction of Santa taking a bullet, or the sight of a bleeding intruder? They're both such bad options for something your kid can remember forever.
@@MoonShadowWolfe I think they did the right thing. Probably taught that guy the value of life, and to not value his own less than the property of a person.
Once my parents gave me and my sister 50 bucks but gave it to us by ripping a 100 in half to also teach us to work together 😂
That’s when you tell them the cashier wouldn’t accept a ripped bill and we need a new one. Then take the new fifty, tape up the old fifty and now you both got fifty and you successfully worked together.
Because in life...
@@joec9693 There was never an old fifty.
Did you learn you can take it to any bank and get another bill?
I really feel you on the gift wrapping thing. That's why I get a cute bag and tissue paper stuff. And if you play your cards right, you can get the bag again for next year lol
Oh my god that is so dastardly and cheap... *I LOVE IT!😂*
I'll let you in on a secret: Dollar tree and 99 cent store have pre wrapped boxes. All you have to do is put in tissue paper and you're golden.
Sincerely,
A terrible gift wrapper
Using and reusing bags causes less harm to the enviroment, so it is really beneficial! 🙂Of course the best would be if christmas wasn’t focused so much on getting gifts.
@@shiraz9986I wish I could thumb this up more than once
Absolutely Gift Bags!!! Changed my life!😅
One Xmas my parents went all out & rented a Santa suit to stage a whole magical scene for me to SEE Santa leaving the gifts under the tree, but I was so scared of messing things up by not being asleep that I closed my eyes & pulled the covers over my head. No matter how much noise they made to try to wake me up, I wouldn’t budge, & all their efforts were for naught. ✌🏼
You knew the rules and damn it, they weren't going to catch you off guard!
They thought they could catch you slippin
I now believe Santa is a black young man whose gifts are life lessons and laughs I never knew possible. Thanks Josh.
"Step-dad Darren" 😂😂😂
Yeah the whole sitting my child on some random man’s lap never sat well with me. Hence no Santa pictures for my little one 🤷🏽♀️
Nowadays, most Santa's have a bench and the kids sit next to him.
Well you sat on someones lap as an adult… Hence how you got pregnant 😂
"Santa don't even bleed like that." 😂😂😂😂😂 Always casually right on point like a boss.
6:42 “he will mess around and rearrange my guts” that wild brotha lol
def a pause moment
Lmao, don’t worry about black Santa. St. Nicholas was originally Greek. He’s going to have a darker skin tome either way 😂
That chick with the Stavros/Chanel West Coast laugh is distracting😅
From living in Chicago myself and being 26 living with the relative experiences you’ve talked about Josh,
I appreciate you and Happy Holidays!!!💙
favorite comic out rn, josh really is allergic to missing
Always BRIGHTENS THE HECK out of my day to see a new video from you up man. 🎉
I did not know the thumbnail meant "🔫 Santa" and not "💩 Santa"
We can only do what we feel is right. Even if its showing him a bleeding robber on christmas😂😂
The thumbnail made me think it was a story about someone shitting on Santa😆 censoring words can be funny
Josh is killing it rn with these topics man. Always so fresh and relevant.
How does stepdad know how Santa bleeds - unless he shot him sometime in the past?!
Remember…snitches get stitches
This man needs an hour long comedy special on Netflix or something !
He has one on Peacock if you have that.
Very inclusive to let a dolphin be part of the audience
😅😅
I was going to say that I kept getting distracted by the woodpecker, because I'm tired and my focus is completely gone LOL!
@vivwillshootyou ayo 🤣🤣💀💀💀
More like Pennywise
Rude.
That last story had me dying.
Hope you had a great Christmas man, found you recently and absolutely love your stand-up! Keep it up man and wish you a happy new years 💙
Josh, thank you for the laughter I just hope you’re getting some rest in between your shows. I don’t mean like behind the stage and sleep waking up wondering, where the heck am I. No I mean I hope you’re taking some time off for yourself refresh your mind. don’t want you looking old with red eyes and bags, dried up snot in your nose because you’re too tired to wipe your nasty nose, hair just looking jacked up, Rashy skin because you’re forgetting to wash your nasty face because you’re so tired, so all I’m saying is make sure you get some rest and time for yourself i’m just saying 💁🏽♀️ you’re doing a good job as a comedian. Thank you again . Ria L.
Logan, is that you?
better than my mom's family, they got robbed while they were at midnight mass. And they just told the kids, Santa took the presents back
😢
Plz what'd the kids do to make them lie like that💀
🤣🤣🤣🤣
DAMN!
That one woman sounds like Josh and she are having a one-on-one conversation 😅
Oh wow... I just saw my own comment w out realizing it was mine. I'm literally here to tell myself how much I agree. With myself. At least I'm consistent.
I stumbled upon this dude and listen to everything he has on RUclips and he is hella funny I am a Fan Fan now can’t wait to see him in person
Same--he’s fabulous.
Was Chanel West Coast in the audience?
Hope everyone enjoyed yout holiday.
Thank you Josh, 'see' you in 2024!!!
is he gay?
One double A battery is just simply mean !!! However… it led to a hell of a great bit! Most comics are at least slightly tortured. That’s what makes y’all all so fantastic. Sucks right .. but also great material. “Within the wicked webs I proceeded”
You're super funny and prolific! I think you're going to be one of the greats.
He don't bleed like that
FX, hear me out make a show called "Josh" about him and his awkwardness. This will be guaranteed gold. It will be Platinum
Damn, man, you work so hard it’s inspirational.
The way he said rearrange my guts 😂😂😂
I truly appreciate how you produce your craft. It is a real treat to see your videos. Happy holidays and continued success in 2024. Much love and respect.
I'mma be honest the censored thumbnail made me think you had a story about a shitting mall santa
That shit was funny as hell, thank you, man 👏👏👏😂
Am I the only one thinking Chanel Westcoast is in the audience?
I'm 1000th like, wish there were more tho. Killin it
Santa dont bleed like that
Another great set. Merry christmas
I hear Chanel West Coast from Ridiculousness.
Iconic laugh.
Twas the night before Christmas. And all through the house the only noise that was heard was a crackhead screaming for help after being shot trying to break in the house.
That girl’s laugh is “let’s go with special”🤦🏾♂️
somebody get chanel from ridiculousness out the crowd
What a great Christmas present.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Merry Christmas Joshy 🎅🏾 🎄
My friend's house was once burgled just before xmas... Her young son was asleep in his bedroom (thankfully he slept through the whole thing). She was 5 months pregnant. She heard noises outside her bedroom door and called out "Who's that?" and kind of spooked the burglars. Her husband woke up but refused to even poke his head out of the bedroom door to see what was happening!! Gun owenership is problematic in the States right now, but... shout out to stepdad Darren! I hope his relationship with his stepson improved after that.
I went to massage school, and I've never heard of a massage place that doesn't ask you if you'd prefer a male or female massage therapist. It must've been a boojie-ass massage place, lol.
That thumbnail has a very ambiguous *, I read it as 'I shit Santa' and became quite concerned 😅
She ruined the video with that janky chipmunk laugh
Was Chanel WestCoast in the audience laughing the whole time 😂😂😂
Happy holidays
I really wish he would come home to Louisiana and do some shows here.
He is one of my favorite comedians.
YESSSS! I used to get excited watch all the videos of how gift wrap anything memorized everything and yet it NEVER worked. It’s like the videos creators did the Martha Stewart school of completion lies where “oh I did this before you arrived” and never in front of anyone at the end to keep their shady wrapping secrets!
Love your work but there is an insane chuckle in the video that has me all twisted
Merry Christmas Josh!
Great set. Going strong during the holidays! Thanks for the laughs!
Josh u are so funny. Me and my husband watching all your videos 😂. Keep it going May God bless you king
Really cool of Chantelle West Coast to be sitting in the front row!
Sounds like Chanel West Coast in the crowd 😂
Said "other people have it worse than me" and "i grew up in Louisiana" in the same breath as if he didn't just say the biggest lie ever
Thank you for the material dude
Who let Woody the Woodpecker in the audience?
Hi from Melbourne. Love your comedy. It’s madness over there and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s getting a little crazy here too. Thanks for the laughs. Hope to see you in Australia some day.
This Christmas, wrap all of your presents with duck tape. Like literally. No one will ever complain about you sub-par wrapping skills ever again, guaranteed.
“This big man’s giant hands could rearrange my guts” Pause
6:43 she was thinking about an entirely different method for intestinal rearrangement
Ready for some post holiday laughs !
Merry Christmas, man. Appreciate you.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂this is hilarious
Josh, such a gem. Love your comedy bro! 😂🎄🎅
Bruh is channel west coast in the audience 😂
Thanks for such a speedy Christmas set that had me in tears!
I cannot for the life of me wrap a gift. Everything you describe its me!
1 double A battery cuz your in charge of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMBO I hope that story isn't true...
I love the laugh on the girl in the front. It kinda just added to the hilarity for me.
Honestly the “do you ever wish you had a gun” thing really took me out of it.
It’s a joke which normalizes killing gay men when they make you uncomfortable.
I’m gay. I’ve experienced violence because of it. This is not a joke to me.
I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here and say this was just a lil slip up but as someone who really loves your comedy it would be super cool if shit like this didn’t happen again.
Also don’t @ me. I’ve turned off notifications for this.
I'm sorry you have had to experience this in life. However, knowing this comedians style I doubt he meant it as in killing a gay man. I believe he meant it more from the position of wanting to kill himself due to the shear awkwardness he felt.
That girl in the front must be that fake Fergie on ""Ridiculousness ". It's sooo annoying
Now I can't NOT hear that woman in the audience with the weird laugh.
I can understand why some comics have used canned laughs on their DVDs. She's a distraction from your set.
Brilliant comic! Keep at it, Josh!
This is the most random thing in the world… but at 8:26 is that Seth Rogan?! 😂 (if you know his laugh this is less weird, I promise 😂)
When are you going to be in Utah and Seattle??? I gots to know, you’re my favorite comedian and have been for years now. I’ve just been to broke to go see you but now that the moneys coming in I really want to see you live
Here’s SLC tickets if you didn’t grab them yet downtown-slc-wiseguyscomedy-com.seatengine.com/shows/262877
Holla for "Alec" folks living up north ☺️⚜️