Fucking everytime There's this one mission where you gotta find a secret entrance The lever is a candle I swear each time I almost spend an hour trying to get Geralt to use the candle not light it up
Damn i remember doing that every fucking time, it's a neat mechanic but that should have another bottom to press instead of the same that we use to open something.
"There's claw marks on the body and a petal of rose. The beast went straight for the heart, a drowner maybe? Hmm impossible, it wouldn't leave a flower on its victim. I can probably find the source by following the scent of the rose"
@@dean7301 or ya know when ya call the dumb bitch she ends up on a roof you can’t access or in thr middle Of the fucking ocean. Or she just says fuck it and runs aimlessly even if you use quen
@@sond.lollipop8919 I've never actually had the roof or ocean problem, she's generally quite respondent when I call her, for me it's just that actually _riding_ her is a punishment in an of itself. Once, she got stuck galloping on the spot in a flat wheat field. I think I still have a video of that because it was so bizarre.
Riding roach became so much easier when I finally realized I didn't have to stear for every turn and only needed to lightly correct her to stay on path. Still sucks though. I run more often than ride
@@octaviocampos5294 Only some lame mf calls someone a noob on a story game lol sweating on a Witcher game. Also lying since they bind so many things to A,X,etc. you have to know what people are talking about...
You'd have a point if it weren't for the fact that there are countless other games that manage to accomplish far superior gameplay in every aspect of their game including their combat. The best gameplay TW3 has is still subpar to games made over a decade before it.
It aggravates me when characters are presented as super-athletic badasses, but they can’t overcome a natural obstacle like a shrub, incline, large rock, or waist high fence that would barely be an obstacle to a determined toddler IRL.
I hate that basically every physics based object has the same weight, like, try running through chairs you won't go straight through, but in video games they just fly out of your way like paper
You will not hate it so much if you tried to make a game, it's true first while playing a game i used think it would be awesome if my character could jump and do a roll in an instance but while actually trying to make something it was a blessing to get my character to walk
What Mary Poppins said. There are various constraints to game development. Even the most detailed video games can't have that much details, they're limited by the time, budget and technology.
@@ironworker4921 yeah but you'd notice that their projects lack in other departments like graphics. Combined with the fact that indie developers usually don't design their own engines and quite a few of the assets, nor are they constrained by deadlines as much as AAA teams are. It's a broad statement but it holds up generally.
Most people rush in try to finish tasks as fas as possible. I find stopping running a little earlier, walking a few step toward the objects make the visual infinity better and realistic. That simple step make the Witcher experience enhanced by 20% at least, imo.
That's the funny thing, Geralt is supposed to be more athletic than Jordan and Lebron and yet he moves like Ricky Gervais. He has the turn radius of a limousine, he can't stop on a specific spot. If he has to loot something to his right, he can't just turn to his right like a normal person, he has to corner like a limousine.
Lmao true, forgot the part where your horse just randomly stops while running through an open field, and also trying to turn around but you walk too far
You forgot the part where when you’re standing still and trying to walk you end up making a quick dash and completely pass up what you’re trying to walk to
Walking past the barrel, then overcorrecting after overcorrecting your overcorrection. Now you're in the right spot, looking the wrong way. Little adjustments... Feck, I've fallen off a cliff
The worse is riding a horse in tight spaces. The horse bumps into literally everything, and for some reason the game makes it so the horse stops and just idles for like a second or two after before moving again.
Yesterday I was in a cutscene and I laughed out so loud cause Geralt moved his hand while talking in a dialogue and he hitted a pot. I never expected, that during a dialogue physical collision exist and he yeeted this pot away. It was so unexpected 😂
@@radityoperwianto1339 I wonder if the NPCs are laughing at Geralt while he's trying to loot. Walks towards the object, overshoots the object, walks back to get a good approach (because he can't just turn properly), rinse and repeat 5 times.
Do this again but the death march version where your fighting a group of random peasant and a dude in braise (that medieval underwear that looks like a diaper) one shots you with a black jack.
You should do a parody of the combat from Kingdom Come; Deliverance! Its a really fun game/medieval simulation and the sword play is really cool and challenging! But damn is there a bit of a learning curve! Lol
Combat is all random peasants know how to fence from very rare elite manuals, so somehow random hobo peasant marauders doing some fancy moves like pros but then not reacting to some attacks cause their skill level is low, it's a very weird game in that sense
Not really though, right? He feels not responsible for any particular state (or fantasy race). You know, unlike the guy who literally has his country spelled out in his nickname.
@@couchpotatoe91 also, he takes his job killing monsters seriously. He's not all cuddly about it, but, he protects people regardless of the danger to his own life. Yes, he gets paid for it, but, it's more of a sense of realism and pragmatism. He has to eat.
True, when you COMPARE it to many modern games Witcher 3 does have some goofy interaction mechanics. I remember spending more time positioning myself to collect all the items inside bags and barrels rather than using them.
I find all kinds of watchable tiktoks. Stuff about law, tech, games, all my interests. I studiously ignore the trash, and the algorithm tends to give me good recommendations
You forgot to pick up all 20 of the random beverages, food, and junk in the crate, you also forgot to get stuck on what should be an easily traversed part of the environment (Also love the Witcher 3)
Honestly, none of this bothers me. It’s the darn minimap that won’t show you where to go. The number of times I’ve had to watch a RUclips run through and follow exactly what they do because the minimal takes me to the wrong place is infuriating. I remember finding the battle of Kaer Morhen really easy, but not being able to retreat because the minimap kept taking me to some random wall instead of the gate. Some quests are infuriating like the one in the garden with the werewolf and the freaking portals with Avallac’h.
The Witcher 3 development has made it so that it is better to block or parry attacks, use strong attacks with people. Against, with monsters on the contrary it is better to dodge and use rolls Players: use only dodges in all scenarios and hit left button
I’ve tried so hard to get into the game, idk what it is but I become frustrated with the combat and weapon maintenance and I’ve played harder games the lore & world building & characters is amazing it’s a shame
Smh try Wolven Hour, it's a potion that halves the weight of every item in your inventory, so that you can run faster and keep the loot. No need to drop two perfect blades like that smdh.
All combat focused games are great for combat obviously, you kinda just forget the gameplay side cause the battles outweighs the rest of the game sometimes
@@JoseTorres-ry9qe or just don't it's a fantasy game i have never seen fantasy game where you can't destroy plated guys with sword like what is your argument
To clarify, The Witcher 3 is my favorite video game, and I've read all of the books. We are poking fun at it with love 😁
Thank you, i'm Polish and i'm glad that our game is bringing joy to people like ya. I love your videos
You nailed it
You know you're being a fan in a healthy way if you can poke fun at your favorite franchise character. 😄👍🏻
If the joke is good it will never offend
At least ppl with a sense of humour 😅
@@Yeti-db8qd True. True. 😄👍🏻
Unrealistic, he didn’t light and then extinguish a candle by accident instead of looting
Fucking everytime
There's this one mission where you gotta find a secret entrance
The lever is a candle
I swear each time I almost spend an hour trying to get Geralt to use the candle not light it up
Damn i remember doing that every fucking time, it's a neat mechanic but that should have another bottom to press instead of the same that we use to open something.
Tryna find juuuust the right angle 😭
Right XD
Definitely my nightmare, struggling finding the right angle with 20fps on my belong-to-museum-PC
Gerald investigating a torn up body on the ground:
„It looks like he was killed by something“
Hey Geraldo is a great investigator don’t do him like that.
@@unus_3882 Geronimo is probably one of the best investigators of all time, in my opinion
Hmmmmmmm
"There's claw marks on the body and a petal of rose. The beast went straight for the heart, a drowner maybe? Hmm impossible, it wouldn't leave a flower on its victim. I can probably find the source by following the scent of the rose"
@@JaKe-rb6dz gobraldindino is the best investigator
Don’t forget a 100 year old man’s worst enemy: Isaac Newton
Only if we had this kind of quality acting in the TV show lmfao
@@Monroe15 i think netfix Gerald is a better character than the video game
i like the more quiet solem Gerald whos in a harsh world
@jackfrost1075 what is a Gerald?
Geralt: Damn, you're ugly.
The guy he's fighting: *emotional damage*
I've only seen levels of accuracy this high in movies about snipers.
The infamous banana tiger song
You forgot about the sword breaking after 5 swings
This is the most accurate thing i have seen in a good while
Much better than the Skyrim combat.
He's probably out cheating
Me and the boys:
Girlfriends must be proud.
“How do you like that silver?”
But... you’re using the steel sword Geralt...
Just happened to me an hour ago 😂
Dude fr tho
For real 😂😂😂
he is a little confused be he got the spirit
Geralt: *swings steel sword* storms coming.
It’s actually incredible how smooth and enjoyable the combat is in Witcher 3 but then the absolute abomination that is riding roach
She's a homing beacon for every fence, tree, sign-post and boulder on the continent
@@dean7301 or ya know when ya call the dumb bitch she ends up on a roof you can’t access or in thr middle
Of the fucking ocean. Or she just says fuck it and runs aimlessly even if you use quen
@@dean7301 I absolutely despise horses In Videogames. Literally only RDR2 and ghost of Tsushima have actually good horse AI’s and controls.
@@sond.lollipop8919 I've never actually had the roof or ocean problem, she's generally quite respondent when I call her, for me it's just that actually _riding_ her is a punishment in an of itself. Once, she got stuck galloping on the spot in a flat wheat field. I think I still have a video of that because it was so bizarre.
Riding roach became so much easier when I finally realized I didn't have to stear for every turn and only needed to lightly correct her to stay on path. Still sucks though. I run more often than ride
You forgot to add the candles everywhere preventing you from picking anything up
Not this one please, I have PTSD.
@@Sub5_77 ?
“Oh, a note”
*extinguishes candle*
“Let me try this side”
*ignites candle*
“Alright, fuck the lore for this random wood shack”
I never had that.problem. yall noobs. Hold Lt or L2 to better better view.
@@octaviocampos5294 Only some lame mf calls someone a noob on a story game lol sweating on a Witcher game. Also lying since they bind so many things to A,X,etc. you have to know what people are talking about...
This is so inaccurate. He didn't immediately die by falling from a 7 ft drop.
bro I've literally died more from falling off a small ledge than by everything else combined
Press the dodge button before landing, enjoy learning what you can now jump off without fear of shattering your legs.
@@ArmoredxTiger it doesn't work
@@landlordlol you have to press it right when you touch the ground
Use the mod which makes geralt immortal to fall damage and then jump for kaer trolde. Its like skyrim shout become ethereal or something
the swords falling off at the end were the cherry on top XD
Absolutely
Absolutely
Absolutely
Absolutely?
Absolutely.
Everytime he said “damn your ugly” but you’re fighting people, I’d imagine it would hurt one of their feelings and they would start crying
Bro I'd break down crying no cap
Pathetic generation.
@@gamingscotsmanOG ok
I fought Rosa Var Aatre(the Nilfgaardian chick) and mid fight Geralt said "Damn, you're ugly!"
@@gamingscotsmanOG Whatever dude, each people has their own insecurities
*three days into a constant rain*
Geralt: hm, looks like rain
A Witcher is optimised for killing monsters. It makes sense they less optimised for other tasks. Like casual walking.
It doesn't, but ok
No man but okay
Oof
It doesn't tho
You'd have a point if it weren't for the fact that there are countless other games that manage to accomplish far superior gameplay in every aspect of their game including their combat. The best gameplay TW3 has is still subpar to games made over a decade before it.
Never change guys, never change.
833 likes 0 replies, ok ...
edit:typo
@@zane6045 replies because, replys is not a word(wyrd for the highly educated)
@@justinmagee2203 english is my 4th language (after turkish,polish and french)
It aggravates me when characters are presented as super-athletic badasses, but they can’t overcome a natural obstacle like a shrub, incline, large rock, or waist high fence that would barely be an obstacle to a determined toddler IRL.
I hate that basically every physics based object has the same weight, like, try running through chairs you won't go straight through, but in video games they just fly out of your way like paper
You will not hate it so much if you tried to make a game, it's true first while playing a game i used think it would be awesome if my character could jump and do a roll in an instance but while actually trying to make something it was a blessing to get my character to walk
What Mary Poppins said. There are various constraints to game development. Even the most detailed video games can't have that much details, they're limited by the time, budget and technology.
@@zippyparakeet1074 true, but there's a vast difference between indie developers and entire companies that specialize in this sort of thing.
@@ironworker4921 yeah but you'd notice that their projects lack in other departments like graphics. Combined with the fact that indie developers usually don't design their own engines and quite a few of the assets, nor are they constrained by deadlines as much as AAA teams are. It's a broad statement but it holds up generally.
I just started playing. The way you have to position Gerald to pick things up is excruciating.
Most people rush in try to finish tasks as fas as possible. I find stopping running a little earlier, walking a few step toward the objects make the visual infinity better and realistic. That simple step make the Witcher experience enhanced by 20% at least, imo.
@@duyson5632 Playing this game slowly is the only way to get the full experience IMO. People who sprint full speed everywhere miss out on so much.
@@AT-cd2ppI most definitely agree. I search and loot absolutely everything in case of later use in alchemy and crafting.
@@moncreebrown948i do that too and still end up buying stuff for crafting
That's the funny thing, Geralt is supposed to be more athletic than Jordan and Lebron and yet he moves like Ricky Gervais. He has the turn radius of a limousine, he can't stop on a specific spot. If he has to loot something to his right, he can't just turn to his right like a normal person, he has to corner like a limousine.
Impressed by green shirt guy’s death animation. He even bounced a bit on the floor just like a NPC 👁👄👁
Fucking dumbass emojis gtfo
@@brandonkey181 Who hurt you?
@@BK-wb3el bro we got the same initials
@@brandonkey181 true
@@egodeath7097 and you're a sadist
Lmao true, forgot the part where your horse just randomly stops while running through an open field, and also trying to turn around but you walk too far
or you find said horse on a tree, in the sea or on a thatched roof XD
"winds howling"
Nickle everytime I've heard Geralt say that I'd be a rich man
Looks like rain.
How Geralt would describe his life vs how Dandelion would.
You forgot the part where when you’re standing still and trying to walk you end up making a quick dash and completely pass up what you’re trying to walk to
Walking past the barrel, then overcorrecting after overcorrecting your overcorrection. Now you're in the right spot, looking the wrong way. Little adjustments... Feck, I've fallen off a cliff
The worse is riding a horse in tight spaces. The horse bumps into literally everything, and for some reason the game makes it so the horse stops and just idles for like a second or two after before moving again.
It's so funny that Geralt has such a wide turn radius. He turns like a 10-wheeler truck.
Yesterday I was in a cutscene and I laughed out so loud cause Geralt moved his hand while talking in a dialogue and he hitted a pot. I never expected, that during a dialogue physical collision exist and he yeeted this pot away. It was so unexpected 😂
😂😂😂 love shit like that.
To be fair, this is gritty realism when compared to most other games you made videos about
Not enough pirouette
Aside from i frame roll it's pretty realistic. All of geralt's movements in game is like 2-3 times faster irl.
@@tinyjazzhands2074 PIROUETTE
IT'S NOT A CIRCUS
BANANA TIGER! BANANA TIIIIGER! I love that song. 😅
You forgot to jump on the table XD
And circling to find the right position to loot
And dying when falling from a 1 meter height
@@RijaMo this one makes me cry all the time. Thank God for autosaves
@@radityoperwianto1339 I wonder if the NPCs are laughing at Geralt while he's trying to loot. Walks towards the object, overshoots the object, walks back to get a good approach (because he can't just turn properly), rinse and repeat 5 times.
“How you like that S I L V E R”
"Damn your ugly" 😂😂😂 I remember hearing that nearly every fight
Do this again but the death march version where your fighting a group of random peasant and a dude in braise (that medieval underwear that looks like a diaper) one shots you with a black jack.
And then he lights a bloody candle.
You forgot the part about accidentally setting off igni and burning down a townhouse
Steel for humans
Silver for monsters
Banana for tiger
You should do a parody of the combat from Kingdom Come; Deliverance! Its a really fun game/medieval simulation and the sword play is really cool and challenging! But damn is there a bit of a learning curve! Lol
Combat is all random peasants know how to fence from very rare elite manuals, so somehow random hobo peasant marauders doing some fancy moves like pros but then not reacting to some attacks cause their skill level is low, it's a very weird game in that sense
@@favkisnexerade yes! I can be very wonky at times!
@@favkisnexerade well
yea I’m an amateur at longsword at most but I can throw one hell of a zwerhau too lol
To be honest, that game has some of the worst game play mechanics I've experienced.
@@dakotaharless6092 maybe you simply lack experience
The legendary banana tiger song...I love it!!
It's always that one or "Lelelay lelelelelay lelelelelay..."
@@CaesarLvcivs haha that's true...but it make sense when I look the title of those soundtrack
The combat doesn't work, but the madman will never stop trying.
"Wind's howling." Lol
Geralt: "I want to talk"
Also Geralt: "So long"
The walk and run is so on point, and the most frustrating thing about the game lol
Fall damage?
@@TurinTuramber Sorry about the cliff...
@@Gray-om1bj I see a lot of people talking about that and I don't see that big of a problem with it.
@@hamzaahmad129 Honestly it's such a minor thing, and my buddies always criticize me for harping on it...it just feels very upright and stiff to me
@@Gray-om1bj 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🔫
“I’m gonna hang you from my saddle” - Geralt of Rivia
Love this accurate representation parody, even you call the rivals “damned you’re ugly”
I love how Geralt is basically magic made Capt. America.
Not really though, right? He feels not responsible for any particular state (or fantasy race). You know, unlike the guy who literally has his country spelled out in his nickname.
@@couchpotatoe91 I'm talking about him being enhanced beyond normal humans.
@@couchpotatoe91 also, he takes his job killing monsters seriously. He's not all cuddly about it, but, he protects people regardless of the danger to his own life. Yes, he gets paid for it, but, it's more of a sense of realism and pragmatism. He has to eat.
@@GhettoJohnWick Aight fair, I see your point.
@@couchpotatoe91 He means the heroic moral as well as being a super soldier
“I’m a much greater fighter, than a stroller”
True, when you COMPARE it to many modern games Witcher 3 does have some goofy interaction mechanics. I remember spending more time positioning myself to collect all the items inside bags and barrels rather than using them.
these guy went from "who dis" to "omg yess they made new video" in minimal amount of time!!!
You forgot the excruciating amount of Quen Spam, because it's Death March and a single mace swing will instantly murk you.
11/10 very pamparam
The most impressive thing of all is that there is finally a WATCHABLE tiktok video!
I find all kinds of watchable tiktoks. Stuff about law, tech, games, all my interests. I studiously ignore the trash, and the algorithm tends to give me good recommendations
@@optimchs1 Good one, me too lol
You forgot to pick up all 20 of the random beverages, food, and junk in the crate, you also forgot to get stuck on what should be an easily traversed part of the environment
(Also love the Witcher 3)
Geralt: *fights with God*
Also Geralt: "it seems it will be raining"
And "how you like that silver"
Honestly, none of this bothers me. It’s the darn minimap that won’t show you where to go. The number of times I’ve had to watch a RUclips run through and follow exactly what they do because the minimal takes me to the wrong place is infuriating. I remember finding the battle of Kaer Morhen really easy, but not being able to retreat because the minimap kept taking me to some random wall instead of the gate. Some quests are infuriating like the one in the garden with the werewolf and the freaking portals with Avallac’h.
Best game ever
I love how he picks up the note reads it for a second and puts it away, it’s just too accurate
Hahaha, I love that you also have the two longswords
One is silvered for monsters
Is it in case the other one breaks? Smart
@@AKAxeMan I've played Witcher lol. Thanks for posting facts though!
@@RijaMo Refer to the above comment
Watch out with that. You just make fun out of Polish culture, it's almost like making fun of pierogów. This is dangerous situation.
Banana tiger, banana tiger
You forgot roche just not moving for 15 seconds in an open field while i mash the button and Geralt yells Run roche 5 times
True
I can’t remember how many times I “walked” on to a table!!!!😌
Fake, he didnt play gwent
This is so accurate lmao
Moveset very different though the roll fits
The Witcher 3 development has made it so that it is better to block or parry attacks, use strong attacks with people. Against, with monsters on the contrary it is better to dodge and use rolls
Players: use only dodges in all scenarios and hit left button
I'm not gay but, what a man 😳
Song Lyrics: "BANANA TIGER!!!!!!! BANANA TIGEEEER!!!! BANANA TIGAAAAH!" ×4
I hate WALKING in Witcher 3, I don't know how I can love this game... But I do 💕
I’ve tried so hard to get into the game, idk what it is but I become frustrated with the combat and weapon maintenance and I’ve played harder games the lore & world building & characters is amazing it’s a shame
Smh try Wolven Hour, it's a potion that halves the weight of every item in your inventory, so that you can run faster and keep the loot. No need to drop two perfect blades like that smdh.
I thought wolven hour lowered the level requirement for your items for a time?
All combat focused games are great for combat obviously, you kinda just forget the gameplay side cause the battles outweighs the rest of the game sometimes
When you knocked over the cups I died bro 😂😂😂
That’s a good one man, but….do you wanna play some Gwent?
There is this one Smith that tells you his son died and you can ask him to play cards 😭
@@danyelpeter1376”I know you’re grieving, but some cards outta set you straight, Gwent specifically” 🗿🍷
I was expecting "Geralt" to take out a flamethrower to spam Igni
“Winds howling” is the most accurate part of this video only because he says it
That last death was pretty great though
Steel for humans, silver for monsters, gold for witchers and bananas for tigers.
I like your impalation animations! The camera moves effectively and makes it look more authentic.
Do assassin's creed 3, it's just parry and attack unless it's a cavalry guy in which you break his defence
I'm broken. I was all like 😍😍😍 so cool!!! Then he ran into the chairs 😂😂😂😂
Geralt completely soaked by the storm that started 5 minutes ago: ...looks like rain
Ahh yes banana tiger
One of the reasons why RDR2 feels too good to be true. It has some quirks but it's the closest to being perfect.
I'll never get over how Geralt can ace fully plated guards with a sword , like, at least add maces as a DLC
@Leon Russell yeah but like quality, named legendary-esque maces?
@@JoseTorres-ry9qe or just don't it's a fantasy game i have never seen fantasy game where you can't destroy plated guys with sword like what is your argument
Whattt your sword didn't break , ? And no decapitated heads flying ? 0/5
Combat is gameplay...
Forgot the moment he jumps off a fence and dies
Please do a parody of Assassin's Creed by accidentally climbing a fruit stand.
No that's not right. He has to jump over the chairs, fall and take damage for some reason.
Congratulations!! you have completed the achievement: find a decent tik tok
yes the combat was that bad
Imagine how ruined i am!😢
This was my first game, beyond mobile.
Ahah, my gameplay is lighting up a candle trying to loot a note off a table
"What now you piece if filth" Geralt said calmly
How they managed to make combat so precise yet the gameplay inside houses so bad
It's Netflix Witcher combat😂
"damn youre ugly", hurts more than any sword or oil.
Well in combat I also lack grace like the gameplay so it fits
Ich wünsche dir und insbesondere deiner Familie viel Kraft und hoffe das du dieses verhalten überwinden kannst ❤️
Ein Hexer zu sein hat auch seine Vorteile.
Ive never played The Witcher 3. Now I want to lol