I don't have any friends, but I'm actually better off
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- Опубликовано: 27 дек 2024
- hello everyone! this video is a bit different from my normal vlogs. i wanted to talk about my experience with friendships as an adult and how my perspective has changed recently. if you relate to this video, you're not alone!
music:
房東的貓《 不知歸期的故人 》
Jim Carrey once said, "Solitude is dangerous. It's very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It's like you don't want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy."
Yes, but that was a warning, not an endorsement. It doesn't matter how introverted you are (I say this as an autistic professional mathematician). Life cannot contain magic without relationships. Our brains are wired relative to other people. You can't get around it...believe me, I have tried again, and again, and again. It can't be done.
@@geometerfpv2804 Yes, I agree and I put it there as a warning. Wait until you get older and you will definitely regret the solitude you enjoyed in your younger years. That's a lesson I've learned and witnessed first hand. The aged and elderly are the most ignored age group and if you haven't built lasting quality relationships by then, you will regret it.
@@geometerfpv2804 BS being alone is a choice that I have made and I love it. I had large groups of friends in real life and on socials for long parts of my life and honestly hand on heart I can't i've been happier. Than I am now. Don't get me wrong I still love my friends and they don't understand it. That I went from life of the party to pretty much Mr. Hermit but when I was doing the social thing regardless the number of friends or the closness with themr I was still not as happy as now. Even to the point of deleting all socials it's so liberating. So yes I call BS on that we need people around us. It's blatently no true.
solitude is like a dangerous drug, it has its advantages, it can feels good at first, but it can lead to asocial arrogance , toxic assumptions about others, and great selfishness, like many people become today and can have some serious consequences on decades. making efforts to meet the best persons, time to time at least, would be preferable as we still are social creatures
i remember of a stupid guy who said " yeah i think something isn't wrong with me until i learned that Sartre said something like "hell is people" but in reality it depends on which ones. even that philosopher get married. i rather prefer to rely on Carrey than this guy for sure. one of the most beautiful phrases i ever read honestly , it comforts me now, in a time of loneliness drugged people
Being alone is peaceful, with no drama.
I find being in group disgusting.
i said that sometime ago but really i want you to know is that i am seeing points of view
True. And on the other side of things, being lonely to our mortality is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Now that's wild.
@@CoramDeo-n2z Cigarettes are addiction and so loneliness but is better if you have calm mind.
True story.
It's scary how well RUclips knows me...
now that u mention it... wtf xd
It's scary how the amount of lonely people is increasing and can't stop to scream about it onto the void that is the internet.
This isn't a new sickness, child.
@Big_Dai Well if people weren't so fake and unfriendly just trying to use you to get something from you, then maybe there wouldn't be so many people feeling lonely
Right? It knows that I've done some research on the loneliness epidemic... and my weakness for pale brunettes.
well... yes and no.While you may relate to this video that YT recommended, when you stop to think about all of YT's recommendations over the years, you'll reach the conclusion that YT recommendations are mostly a bad fit for you
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” - some movie Robin Williams was in
Corny and overused
I love the guy, but idk if it makes sense to take advice from someone who ultimately ended up killing himself. Its like watching video game advice from someone who only got a game over and never beat it.
@ Robin Williams himself didn’t say this; he played a fictional character who said this. Also, this isn’t advice; it’s just an observation.
@@JITCompilation it depends on which kind of people. it's not good to generalize. and it's also not good to rely on a fictional character's POV.
@@giannilyanicks1718 no one’s relying on anything. A real person wrote that line, and it’s been repeated across the internet because other people can identify with it and find value and wisdom in the writer’s message.
“It Is important to draw wisdom from different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.” - Uncle Iroh
Being alone has a power that not many people can handle.
SOO true! I have that power, and the older I get, the more I see most people would die being alone as much as I ENJOY being alone.
@@optionout its not biblical nor from a Psychology study is it healthy. If you are lonely, true lonely....that is sad, and is a reflection that something is wrong with your life. Sure every now and then, a pause, break, or distance is necessary and healthy. But long term you will change for the worse. Studies have also concluded lonely people die much earlier in life. You might spin or santize it, but it's a lie in your head, being lonely is like a mental disease that eats you alive everyday. Interaction, affection, admiration, connection, bonding is human nature and its part of our evolution....yes at some point it slows down as you age. but it's very important to have some level of connection with people at least twice a week. Sadly it will put the fear into you when you get sick, really sick and youll see that no one knows you exist. Ultimately being lonely leads to mental illness like homelessness, and other disorders, not to mention anger, unforgiveness, drug abuse, alcoholism, depression...it's all amplified, and much deeper. Yes I know the world can be cruel and cold, and some people are toxic, but you must find people that are like minded, that is the key. Everyone needs to be edified, admired, love and cared for, there is no escaping this, we are all wired this way.
Oh no he/she is alone...better watch out...she/he has powers you can't handle.🏃🏃🏃
I have been always alone, and now at age 62 it's both easy and hard thing live with. It's easy keep people with distance but still I miss someone close to me which I know impossible at my life. I will also die alone.
@@tapiola61 Wow, EXACTLY how I feel and think.
A key point you made is that you are the source of your own happiness. This is so true. Often, people seek happiness in others and feel disappointed when they don't find it. I can identify with so much of what you say in your video. Thank you for sharing!
Friend is a title only for those who have truly earned it.
Definitely 👏🏻👏🏻
Also "a friend to all is a friend to none"
Another important note: A friendship is mutual, to gain it, you have to give it too.
@@xandex69 Absolutely. It applies to everyone, especially other people.
I heard this sorta thing before snd I agree...
I wonder how many out there like yhis...
I feel you are betraying yourself to fit in just to avoid loneliness if you don't really click especially uf they ate toxic folks to begin with.....✊️
who else is sick of Fake Friends?
Not only am I sick of fake friends, I’m sick of fake people in general. I’m sick fake news, fake food, fake weather, fake social media, fake love, everything in the world is fake.
I am but I don't have ''friends'' anymore since October 2022
Most of them 96% are fake. regardless how positive other people are going to tell you "oh it's your personal exp." no it's not.. that's just how life works. the reality people just want to have fun for themselves and peace... true friends REALLY hard to find specially with the Gen Z and the modern life...
I'm sick of most fake people out there
I’m sick of real friends. They don’t stop bothering me and wanting to hang out, and when I lie and say I’m busy they keep nagging and eventually I get anxious about keeping in touch with people. I’ve ghosted like all my friends…..it’s much easier and peaceful this way.
"Sometimes when I'm around people, it makes me feel worse. Because I never feel like I really fit." Exactly. I can relate.
Same. 👍
@@giannilyanicks1718 There’s something about groups. You always find a few individuals ruin it and the others just let it happen. They sit around and laugh at their stupid jokes, often at the expense of one person. That person was me.
@@paddymurphy-oconnor8255 when you generalize about groups , there's no good reason we're going to respect the toxic proud loners.
Me too
@@giannilyanicks1718 Excuse me. Did you ever think about a career in therapy? I can see that you’re the empathetic type. 🙄
Its good to see that im not the only one.
There is a quote that says:
“It’s better to be alone than alongside bad company”
yes! The French translation : "Vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagné" and this quote really sticks with me.
@@TheVallexEn espagnol on dit la même chose (mejor solo que mal acompañado).
@@chepounsky C'est vrai. Beaucoup d'expressions sont similaires en français et espagnol.
matter of bad luck
@@chepounsky and in portuguese: ''melhor sozinho do que mal acompanhado.''
You hit the nail on the head when you stated that you miss out on doing things for yourself when you're too busy worrying about what others think and want to do. True friends are hard to find; if you're lucky enough to have them, you are truly blessed. Friendship is a two-way street, it must add value to each other and not be selfish and judgmental. Unfortunately, those traits are hard to find these days so sometimes it's better to stand alone and embrace the strength and courage that comes from within.
this ❤🔥
there is no strength in lying to yourself. you can find people like you just mentioned. you aren't finding that with people who are chronically online and only like video games and anime. you need to work on yourself and start being someone other people (who aren't weebs or game addicts) can hang around. does this mean stop playing games? no just dont let it be all you do. start working on your appearance, find new things to do. find something you are passionate about, and get a personality. it gets easier when you have all those things
there is no strength in lying to yourself. you can find people like you just mentioned. you aren't finding that with people who are chronically online and only like video games and anime. you need to work on yourself and start being someone other people (who aren't weebs or game addicts) can hang around. does this mean stop playing games? no just dont let it be all you do. start working on your appearance, find new things to do. find something you are passionate about, and get a personality. it gets easier when you have all those things.
See this is why this entire message is utter drivel: you can still have friends AND not miss out on doing things for yourself. I personally have a lot of friends and do whatever I want. I have seen 0 argument right now that is at all realistic. All coping. But keep your limited life belief.
You know what? I was watching NBC4 of how Leon Harris and Eun Yang talked about the topic of making friends even during the pandemic since Friendship Week and it’s very important to know when and how to do it.
I can totally relate to you. I've been without true friends for approximately 10 years and totally alone for about 4 years. I've made peace with that. It can be boring and embarrassing to show up everywhere alone, whilst being surrounded by so many friends groups, but at the same time you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. If you mess sth up, no one notices it make you feel awkward, cuz you're alone. I love being independent and really hated asking everyone what they're up to. I'm now able to do anything without having to compromise.
Yes, it sounds like you were hit hard by COVID-19.
@@AmazonEnforcer Doesn't have anything to do with that. We just slowly did less and less together. Up until the summer of 2020 we still did stuff together.
I have no idea why the RUclips Algorithm sent me here. But honestly, what a very good video. It is self-reflecting and says so much. I am much older than you and throughout my life I felt exactly the same way you do. I find it healthier to be my own best friend. I don't need to impress anyone, fit in, or be someone I am not. Good on you girl. You do you!
By same reason why in Western countries they popularize: rainbows, childfree, drugs, games. It is how they reduce amount of plebs :)
Lol. I described "why’ and my comment was banned by AI… :)
OK, this make no good sense. the crazed minds always persuade themselves wat's wealthier for em, it's objectively far from it.
well we assist another psychiatric episode
toxic selfishness
"Get out of your comfort zone and try doing things independently"
This line hits hard even though I have the exact opposite of this problem. As someone with social anxiety, I really need to get out of my comfort zone and start doing things with other people instead of doing everything alone all the time
I have no anxiety but been lone for so many Time I have the same problem…I do things alone
I find that if teh thing you are doingis somethign you want for it's own sake it makes having others aroundmore bearable - I volunteer to sail classic boats for example.
I'd do that anyway, but it's teh activity I'm there for - the company is a happy extra with no other obligation
It's not anxiety. There are "energy vampires" with a demonic spirit that are trying to either overtalk you, stare you down, get in your path… All you have to do is stand your ground and know who you are in Christ.
Ask the Holy Spirit to make himself known to you.
@@Eman-vp5wk Yeah, I tend to encounter fewer of them when I'm choosy about the company I keep
I was like you, then achieved what you want just to learn that is not worth it. Your anxiety is just natural subconscious protection from peoples idiocy.
Meanwhile, 20,000 guys are waiting in her DM to get a reply to their 'hi'.
😂
Those aren't friends. They just want her to bend. It's a business transaction
most likely true lmao
@@choonblaze
I guarantee this girl could find a quality guy if she wanted to and was patient about it.
I feel sorry for simp that sell out dignity out of desperation
Just for meager interaction...😖
I'm 34 and I went from having a ton of "friends" in my early 20s to being able to count them all in one hand.
That’s the rituals, we Chinese called those 洒肉朋友， meaning you only get together cos there’s wines and meat, but no substance once the party is over, plus when you get older you’ll have your own family and you’ll have less time seeing them if they’re still singles, lifestyle is different
@@soha7271Not everyone wants to start a family , get married or have children when they get older , some just want a simple no pressure relationship and maybe a decent amount of reliable friend company. Having kids In such a cruel world Is one of the most selfish things so many unfit people do imo , and marriage today is often an opportunistic business contract instead of real non-shallow/materialistic love , that's why the divorce rate Is higher than ever.
This is common for everyone. Welcome to adult life.
@@e.m.doherty723 no shit
@@LennerPOPPADOPALIS89 Then what’s surprising?
The smartest people normally choose to be alone. When you are alone, you will find your true self and you will have more time to do what you want to do. Thanks for sharing!
I agree
It's the only way you can find out your true self, imo. If you're constantly around other people you can't get legitimate self-reflection going
basiocally selfishness.
In a society that mostly functions around hyper-individualism, narcissism, status and appearances (so chaos, excess, noise, superficiality) over anything else, authentic, calm and kind-hearted people will oven find themselves alone. So having no friends in this context definitely doesn't make you a bad or uninteresting person, it just means you're prioritizing yourself and choosing quality over quantity. And that's a good thing
100%. I realized that I helped, and was kind to everyone, and when I needed help, no one reached out. It's kind of sad when you realize that they never saw you as a friend with your own human value but just a tool to help them. But I guess, this is the society we build. At least we got cool things out of it? xD I sometimes wonder if people like us would even look for "progress", when we could just chill all day under the sun. I think progress is probably driven by those people who seek that constant validation.
most boastful speech.
"Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist"
- George Carlin
WOW! That is so profound, I had to Google it! Here's the results, from Quora:
_"What does inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist mean?_
A comedian might make the best cynic of all if. Yes, I agree with George Carlin. " _Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist._ "
Something happens in a person's life when people or institutions hurt or disappoint them as a rule, and *a person can only be disappointed and hurt when they have expectations.*
Apr 19, 2016
George Carlin said 'Inside every cynical person is a ... - Quora"
its like a russian doll, if you keep digging deeper, you end up with no thing !!
Becoming a cynic is a choice. Don't let the world change you, change yourself however you see fit, and enjoy living your life. Ignore societal norms, there's no such thing. Life is wave function. But you always have more control over things (yourself) than you realize, except you have to exert it. The rest will come together as you work on yourself.
@@lokith1562 Thank you for that gift. It's what I needed to hear right now. Have a wonderful day or evening.
Yeah u can't have perfect friends and u can't be demanding it's all a balance
同感，对成年人来说，孤独是人生的一种常态，走自己的路，做自己该做的事，就足够了。
I realize, I hink, that this is a situation for Asian adults but not necessarily for Westerners, especially in South America and Italians too.
It is not living, when you are living "enough" way.
6 耶 稣 说 我 就 是 道 路 、 真 理 、 生 命 ； 若 不 藉 着 我 ， 没 有 人 能 到 父 那 里 去 。
約 翰 福 音 14:6 🤍🕊
When Ok Alone: Learning to tibet throat sing, draw fantasy ideas, write tragic screenplays, play traditional instruments, design kingdoms and military technology, reading books for the first time, hating on certain books I thought were good for the first time, learning to hate irresponsible e scooterers, learning to empathize them, bake bread, make cheese, design armor based on culture and climate, painting, write symphonies, write national anthems, practice sword-play, learning how to metal smith, learning steam engine principles, learning traditional fashion styles, learning past cultures, learning war history, psychology, heririchal structures, and some much more that I can't point out.
Before being OK alone: I did whatever my friends wanted to do.
That's great. Being alone frees us to focus on things we love, and you're really cool with it.
I still have friends but I don't enjoy my time with them anymore and even worse, I feel lonely among them. I used to feel guilty about it, that's why I forced myself multiple times to go out with them but then I realized "why it supposed to be always me who put an effort?" I'm the one who always tries to talk about topics they're interested in, I'm the one who's trying his best to grab their attention all the time. And even when I gave up and they noticed that no one of them ever asked me what's wrong? You know it's not all about happy moments, friends supposed to be there in your hard times as well. It's sad how the majority of people are becoming distants everyday
It seems you are an introvert. But it's also possible that you are experiencing emotional exhaustion or disappointment in your friendships with specific people. Sometimes, it's worth seeking new people or groups with similar interests and values. There are people you can call not just friends, but soulmates, you just need to find them. One thing I've learned well in life is that there are all kinds of people you can imagine. The only problem is finding those you need. Humans are social beings, and loneliness negatively affects their emotional and physical well-being. Even if it doesn't seem that way at first, it will eventually happen.
@@KatyaLishch I get ur point and u are right, but only one question here: Where and how to find them?Am I suppose to deliberately and seek to find them or everything gonna happen by itself,like matter of time?But here is another thing:nothing in this world happens by itself...
@@DragonPlay347 Join clubs or groups that align with your interests. Participate in events where people with similar goals and values gather. Online forums, social media, and specialized platforms also can help you connect with like-minded individuals. And volunteering. It's not only about helping others but also a chance to meet kind-hearted people!
Yap this has been my life ever since! I have been lonely like all my lif, but got used to it and life moves on. When everything is well on my side, All is well then. I can be with people sometimes but there presence or their absence doesn't affect me at all. It's like the same thing.
@@DragonPlay347 just hang on there and see what happens I guess, but at the same time don't loose yourself!!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I needed to hear this. Being in a toxic relationship for a while made me completely lose connection with myself. I entered that relationship because I hadn’t learned how to make myself happy on my own, so I blindly tolerated mistreatment just to avoid feeling lonely. I went through the same pattern with friendships-I focused more on avoiding loneliness than on the quality of communication and connection. But now that I am finally free from that relationship and don’t have friends around, I am working on regaining my connection with myself. I’m still learning, and sometimes it’s scary to feel lonely, but I understand that having a deep connection with myself is the key to finding true happiness and peace. I wish good luck to everyone on the same journey of reconnecting with themselves. It’s not easy, but it’s a brave and worthwhile path.
When you have no friends you end up listening to your soul, your inner voice that would otherwise get drowned out by others ! You start finding out who you really are, what your preferences are, and the most liberating part, you get to live an authentic life, discovering your own true values ! Being alone is therefore needed in transforming into ones most authentic version. From ones authentic version, knowing what you stand for and what not, what you are willing to tolerate and what not, one is able again or even for the first time attract like minded souls into ones life!
and maybe you need found the god, like i'm every time fell bad i talk with him, and i feel there is one listen to me.
and i found the peace with him and go to focuse in myself
now i love my self so much
so hze learn to be selfish.
I feel the same. I don't miss any friends and it helped me rediscover myself. Solitude is spiritual. Btw you seem very friendly and wise.
I'm very glad this was randomly recommended to me by the RUclips algorithm. I'm someone who tries to keep to myself, but when I go out in public and see friend groups hanging out, I sometimes feel bad that I'm not apart of a friend group.
Seeing this made me feel better about being alone.
@ I understand that
@@bensonabernathy4664 you really need glasses
@@giannilyanicks1718 I know you said to not bother replying but I chose to anyway. Plus if you were originally quoting me I did it say selfish I said alone.
@@bensonabernathy4664 yuo really need mental help. Seriously.
"Seeing this made me feel better about being selfish" don't bother to reply me. or you're an idiot.
People who have no friends are actually highly intelligent. Cos they can do anything by themselves. Think for themselves. Solve problems by themselves. And also work by themselves. And most importantly love thyself. Ignore those who finds you weird. A loner here who have few friends but rather be alone. So i totally understand u.
That is certainly not true. Humans are inherently social and unable to survive alone. With compassion and cooperation things can be thought out more rigorously and problems can be solved more easily by applying different approaches and perspectives. Loneliness and intelligence are completely different things that don’t correlate. There are also things like social intelligence and emotional intelligence that you didn’t consider at all.
@@tomy34188 Your assumptions are not true either. Humans are the only beings in the animal kingdom that can have rational thinking, thus it can choose to be alone very fine. Especially when survival in modern days does not depend on belonging to a hunting tribe or something like that. We humans can and have evolved to survive on our own, when chooses to do so.
Correct. The best inventions came from people that sat in a room without interference from the outside world. Additionally, this is how Abe Lincoln originally gained alot his knowledge before he started speaking publicly.
@@sophonblock76 "the only beings in the animal kingdom that can have rational thinking" There are plenty that can think rationally but the degree does vary greatly.
yup.
Ive been alone for most of my life and realized all the benefits and joy of solitude. Later in life, when I felt like connecting to form a family, it made it that much easier to recognize someone compatible, and I was psychologically and morally strong and mature enough to have a healthy, no-BS, relationship, because I simply knew who I was. I have a family now with my wife and a couple of beautiful daughters and a happy home.
As a person who's sometimes alone, I see isolation as a good thing sometimes, but also spending time with people who are in your same situation can be a good experiencie too. It's like a way to make a balance of being alone and spending time with others.
Sometimes it's better to be alone and sometimes to socialize with honest persons. More friends = more problems.
Felt this 10 years ago.
Began traveling alone and its the best.
You’re the recommendation for all things.
Realizing that it's okay to be alone and and prefer to do things by yourself is quite the cathartic experience
yes it is good to be alone sometimes, i enjoy it alot, but i'd be lying if i said that i didnt enjoy being around friends more. when you are friends with people who have ambitions or people that live life. i think that realizing you made good friends with go getters and people who do more that just game or watch anime(not like they cant but you need more) is very cathartic.
@@HungrySquid-z9j well said
Friends can quickly turn into a drain!!! If you are happy by yourself, you are great.
exactly. maintaining lopsided 'friendships' is taxing. 'friends' who take us as we are and aren't a constant drain on our energy are rare indeed.
But aren't relationships the biggest source of meaning in people's life?
@@spaceowl5957 yes they are but these types never learn that until they die alone with there only friends being redditors.
Thank you! I feel supported by your video. I now get by with acquaintances scattered town. All the friends I ever had became toxic and my family is so toxic also. If someone shows I feel comfortable around ever shows up along the way I will give being friends a go but I have no problem saying good bye if it starts to become toxic and discussing things doesn’t help.
I love being alone and I never felt lonely. No drama. no issues, so peaceful......I am a sigma man!
In my personal experience, the definition of loneliness is having someone that you love so much, you would move heaven and earth for her, do anything for her, put her above all else, yet you know that each night when you lay down beside her, she doesn't want you to touch her. That for me was the ultimate loneliness. Now, I am all alone, and have never been more at peace.
Real sigmas would never call themselves a sigma lol.
What about a Kappa? Alpha, Beta, Omega, Delta, Gamma, Sigma steal all the thunder in the Greek alphabet. What about being a Kappa man?
Kappa, kappa man. (yeah) I gotta to be... a kappa man. - See, it works!
@@AIAnalysisMD a real sigma doesn't disagree with you, so, there you go.
Bravo!
This is why its so important to meet someone doing something you really enjoy doing too, whether that be friendship or romantically... so at least you have one common ground to stand on always when everything else falls by the wayside. That is pretty much the glue of online friendships with gaming.
Thank you, I find this very comforting and helpful. I am autistic and have always found it hard to make friends my whole life, and have often felt bad about not having friends. It's hard to avoid something that seems to be a common life experience of others, because people mention how they did or do x with their friends, and even parents, teachers, doctors, and therapists ask about my friendships, and think there's something wrong when they found out I never really had any. It has made me worried that I've missed out on those life experiences, or that something is indeed wrong with me.
Recently, I thought I'd finally made a close friend group for the first time in my life, as well as my first ever best friend, but after a few months, they all deserted me, with one person telling me they "never got along with me", another saying they didn't consider me a friend, and another who actually bullied me. I found this extremely hard to handle and comprehend and it made me start questioning what is real again. I could not understand why people treat me like this and don't want to be my friend when I try my best to be a good friend.
This video gave me hope that I can make peace with not having friends, and that maybe I can like myself. Thank you so much.
you don't need toxic people around, you need to love and accept yourself for who you are. good luck with self-love and building friendship with yourself
@nancynancy1587 thank you ❤️
a true friend is one that makes you a better person, those other toxic interactions were not friends . widen your age range and find quality people
Real friends are valuable and worth cultivating. And I mean people that will help you when you really need it even if it's inconvenient for them. People that really care about you.
It's physically impossible to have no friends and be comfortable, at least for the long term. Your own neurology has a need to be connected with people in real life, physically and mentally - It's how we have evolved as a social species, with the need to be connected and establish networks of support and interchange of emotions and ideas. I do agree that friendships with toxic people can be detrimental, but this is only an obstacle to be overcome by searching for the good people in life that will support you as a friend in a positive way, and there are plenty out there.
I love being alone but I equally love being with close friends and family. And I'm convinced that both is important and necessary for a healthy mind. I understand the freedom you gain by being alone when going to the cinema for example but the physical things aren't the only thing to always look and long for. Going to the cinema to watch a movie you initially didn't want to, also gives you something, which is time spent with the people you like. Although you're missing out on physical stuff such as movies, you're not missing out on having a good time with the people you love. Our mental health benefits more from that than objects and things that this world has to offer.
I know both have its ups and downsides, but I'm tryna say that only embracing one and cutting off the other will harm us more than the upsides of it can give us.
agreed bro. i think the main problem is people dont do really anything with there live beside game or watch anime or hyper focus on something else that really doesn't mean much irl (not saying they aren't fun i love both) and good people dont want to hang around someone like that so they avoid them, and now they have to convince themselves that other people are the problem not them, quite sad but i get it, true self reflection is scary and hard so most never do it.
Having no friends in this hostile and cruel world is very truthful, many people who say they have friends have in reality no real friends, they just have company. Having no friends is a good sign that you are not mundane, you may be leaning towards harmony while the world is leaning towards chaos.
Notice how friend groups are pyramidal structures where power is usually in the hand of the richest individual(s) to decide what the group does.
Lmao what ya yapping about, there are all types of people sure you’re not wrong but not completely correct either…
@@killerbrother6187 Of course there are some exceptions just like there are some true generalities. I used "many people" that means not all obviously, and "you may be" meaning not necessarily and "usually" so not always. what ya yappin about
@@oceanwave4142 my bad buddy u got me good
Many people who think they have friends will be surprised how many "friends" they have when they get cancer for example. The only true friends are people who accompany you through bad and good times. There are also friends who are only you friends when you are miserable. They are also fake.
Thank you for sharing youre wise words. It made me feel more confident to only have a few friends. I actually prefer to be alone most of the time. I enjoy it a lot!
Being alone is the actual freedom. I have no friends, never had a relationship, I live my life
"being selfish is the actual freedom"
@@giannilyanicks1718 how is this selfishness?
@@HonestlyHolistic if you want to play with me the devil attorney, i am really not in the mood.
real freedom is financial independence and psychological health.
and what you write looks more like excuses. Sorry.
@@giannilyanicks1718 what? I asked you because I don’t understand why it would be selfish to be alone
I once heard a saying "A man amongst he's friends is King, But a man alone is Ruler of he's Kingdom" Thanks for Sharing...
*his
the king of selfishness
whats a kingdom with one person? it's not a kingdom it's cope, cope that because i see other people who do more than game all day have fun they are less than me.
@@giannilyanicks1718 you say it like that's a bad thing.
@@KLK01 It's not being selfish, they did mean it as a bad thing, but It is putting the people that are selfish in check in your life , less friends is weeding out the users , less friends is balance and learning who is really your friends at a equal level, less friends is respect with in the friendship only a user see's this as you being selfish.
Yes, I can relate. And i'm happy for you and anyone else that has reached your level of peace with your existence and turned it into a fulfilling life.
Once you get old like me, you won't even want friends.
Good one
Yep, I can agree with you on that!
Yes!
How old is old. I'm not looking for friends. Maybe I consider as friend a person who willingly does something for me without asking or expecting anything in return.
@@allantamm2185 I'm 50, but I stopped wanting any friends at around 30 years old. It actually took me years to lose all my childhood friends. They would only use me. It's funny, because you said you want a friend who expects nothing in return. You sound just like my old friends. Always wanting something for nothing. I now only have two work acquaintances. They're also trying to use me.
I am close to 50 and it is super easy for me to make new friends. After meeting so many people in my life now I know that lots of people are really crazy and toxic so it really doesnt matter if you dont have many friends, just go for the people that give you good vibes. Making friends is super easy, finding and keeping the best human beings is super hard, so dont let go those ones :-) If you have zero friends you are still way better than a big percentage of people with lots of traitor toxic bad "friends".
I admire the way you handle loneliness and the courage it took share this publicity with other's ! Thank you for your U-tube content !❤
Never had a single friend, but my life's not sugar coated. It's a straight up nightmare
Dang really? What's wrong? :/
Growing up I was miserable for not having friends, even though I actually preferred to be alone, but I would feel pressured to have friends and I felt like an outcast. Now that I'm older I made peace with the idea that maybe not everyone needs to have friends, and with the fact that I really enjoy being alone, for me not having friends makes my life more peaceful. I hope you can find what really makes you happy.
Yea I never had a friend as an adult. Most people are just users anyway.
@@Coco-xq7zh damn I hope you guys get some friends. Real ones are irreplaceable.
@@Izzy_Gtz humans physically need socialization. There's a reason why solitary confinement seriously damages the brain. You may feel more comfortable, but the wrong choice is usually very comfortable.
The times when I've felt most alone have been when I was in a big group of people.
After dealing with a blindside I isolated for a little bit to gather my thoughts, I no longer feel a need to be with friends anymore because of it; but I have such an amazing group of friends that care for me and love me so I share my time with them. The way you described your reasons for staying alone sound like poor regulation skills in relationships. I completely understand that as I've found it hard for most of my life to step away from friend time when I honestly need to take care of myself or just go to bed. We're all going to die alone in the end, so no matter what happens I'll always make time for my friends, because this is the only time I'll ever have to share experiences with them. I've learned to balance my alone time as well. Solitude may seem like a good lifestyle choice but this looks more like a band-aid fix for what could be beautiful shared relationships. Obviously if any relationship is causing your personal health to crumble step away from them but some form of therapy could help with a lot of those issues and learning how to avoid really BAD people that need their own help (there's a lot of them) This comment goes to all of you that relate to this video. There's nothing wrong with spending most of your time on this earth alone, just make sure you don't regret not sharing some of it with others when you're too old to. I have a very close friend that deals with very similar issues because their whole life has been surrounded by bad characters, they're choosing to be alone next year because of it. I hate knowing things could've been different if they had just been surrounded by good people instead of vampires.
I see where you come from, a bit from one extreme to another. I do think friends are really important for many reasons. I have friends that I have had since I am 5 years old and I still see many of them regularly, and I am over 40 years old now. Also I have friends that I really just "made" two, three years back, so it is very well possible, even if you are not so young. It depends on many factors, but the environment is key. I work at a huge research university and you are surrounded by people from many age groups, people from all over the world - and mostly intelligent, well-intentioned people (exceptions are everywhere of course). It's a really easy place to make new friends. But also I made new friends from joining hobby clubs and when I started learning Japanese, I made two new friends on an app that I meet for lunch every few weeks. I think balance is key - never make yourself completely dependent of others, but also don't isolated yourself too much. Both paths lead to suboptimal outcomes. There is well documented data that shows for example that people with good friends live longer. It's just because it adds well-being, which increases immunity etc. But balance is key. Good luck!
It is hard to find special company. Sometimes it is nice to a parner to share life. But a toxic or narcistic person is bad. Keep happy. Wish you were my friend ❤
Toxic / narcissistic people are evil bcos they keep you from growing.
This video came right in a moment when I've been reflecting on this, after going on on a one-day trip to Paris where I could have opted for being around other people but chose to be alone. This video is so relatable and reassuring and paradoxically made me want to be your friend. Thank you.
I totally understand your view.
I apply the same thing with having a relationship with another person.
Same thing.
It's not that love doesn't exist in my life. Love is something that comes from within.
It is not something that I need to get from others.
I also don't have any real close friends. Not any more.
And that's ok.
As you said, we can be happy by ourselves, really.
Our basic setting is we are content RIGHT NOW. Not when we have someone in our life.
I'm a committed loner. I have one friend and that's it. I find inner peace and don't have the need to feel that I must fit in. Friendships causes too many hang ups and pressures.
With so few trustworthy people, going solo can save your life and mental health.
Once you start trusting them they backstab you. Ungrateful fuckers.
watching this video made me realize how lucky i am to have friends who get that i prefer being detached. always ghosting them since i was a kid but i can just come back after several months of absence. same as you im good at socializing. never had any toxicity within the friendship. it's just a different kinda brain. we're fortunate that we're able to live within a society without having to connect.
从莉雅的第一个视频到现在一直都很喜欢，言谈舒服，气质优雅，性格就好像自己一样，同频共振，我并不是喜欢学英语，而是喜欢看莉雅讲话。
🫡👌👊👍🤝Totally agree with you mate and also now I know that her name is Liya, thanks for that too. This is my first-time surfing her UTUBE channel, but isn't she so lovely in outward and inner beauty and the country she skilfully showed us was breath taking as well and I'm speaking from my beautiful Country New Zealand 🇳🇿 Thank you again my friend 😊👌🤝👋
Being alone is nice but not all the time. You are an amazing person. Just hang out with several people and one will come out to be a really good friend!
Speak for yourself.
@@vettie You first.
Exactly!
😊... "NOT ALL THE TIME..." CORRECT. Even God saw that it was not good for man to be alone. Adam and his wife Eve were going along nice and smoothly until that snake wriggled and squammed its way in and acted all friendly ((false)) with its confident assurance and did us all in. Leaving us bitter, confused, depressed, lonely, sorrowful, selfish, guilty, vengeful, and without... It's good that Liya has an insightful bunch of UTUBE MATES not to close and not too far but within her own privileged personal space zone that at a push of a button DELETE or fingers twinkling on a keyboard and correspondence is open 🥱🫣😂😁😉😟🫤😭☹️😩😳😲for friendly enjoyable discussion as in our Liya's case. Catchya later mate. Sweet As from Kiwi land 🇳🇿 NZ 🤝👊👍☝️
I deal with Social Anxiety and what's improved it the most for me is being ok with having no friends. I choose to sit alone at school because I always felt so left out when I was with others, but now I get that time to be alone with my thoughts and I'm better prepared to have interactions with people throughout the day. And I don't compare myself as much like how "she asked her to walk with her to the office, but no one ever asks me to go with them. i can't go alone because no one else does." Now I've gained the courage to go places alone like you've said.
克服孤独，努力地迎合他人是没有用的。这一点，你自己也了解到了。其实主要是接受自己，并且梳理自己的孤独情绪来源。我觉得你做得非常好，与大家一起分享你内心的情感，让那些爱你的朋友们更加了解你。在这种爱和美好朋友之间的关系上，慢慢地就会有归属感了。可能不会太久，你就会有太多太多，喜爱你的朋友在你的周围。到那个时候可不要心烦哦。用喜乐的心面对每一天😊😊😊🌻🌻🌻💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
I think you're a really evolved soul, and you're right, you can do whatever you want. Being your genuine self will attract true real friends, not a multitude of surface level ones.
YES!! I too am an introvert and I am no longer concerned that I have no friends. I love people - but I don't want to have to deal with things like you mentioned. By the way, from the tonality of your voice, I think you could be an absolutely amazing singer. Just my thought. Take care and enjoy yourself. Or should I say enjoy your self!! This is an inspiring video - thank you!!
You have to be your own best friend. Depending on others means you are allowing them to control you. Love yourself. God created you!!
Same, I used to have allot of friends. And the last ones who lasted just became toxic and then suddenly vanished in an instant. Ive been alone for 15 years, and I love it!
stop lying to yourself dude.
@@HungrySquid-z9j I would have died long time ago If I stayed with them. lol
And yet, we are all in this chat, confirming we are not alone in our solitude. Its true irony in view
Solitude and loneliness are very different.
i literally cut off most of my friends because i wanted to experience things by myself, TRUST Me, it’s a HuGe load off..I’m a different person now, someone i was meant to be, i’m proud of myself. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
I have the same feeling with you. And
I love to watch your channel.
Often alone, but never lonely.❤
I've been by myself for 30yrs now and it's hard the first 3yrs by after that you find this peace that's wonderful, being in charge of your own happiness makes you powerful, and your not wasting time doing things you don't want to. You actually live longer than normal people as you have so much more time. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
you stated, eloquently, a concept that is pure to the foundation of genuinely feeling content and happy that should make many folks with PHD cringe at how much money they'd spent, in pursuit of being able to relay such truths. I've never heard it described better. It's not about minimizing the value that genuine friendships can hold, it's about valuing the peace and fulfillment that every person internally has the power create for themselves....they only need to acknowledge and embrace it.
A wiseman once said... there is no friendship, only friendliness
孤獨的人通常都很善良, 怕被傷害!
I lost some of my long-term friends - no arguments, just moved away or they got families and they changed. Enjoying being by yourself is a great strength in life. And you can be open to (good) new friends when they do come along. Wishing you well + well done for sharing this.
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."-Robin Williams
0:53 I think that's copium. It's easy to avoid people, and distract yourself with something but that's not being happy, that's just getting by. I don't have any friends either, and I'm a little older than you are as well, so I think you ought to consider my advice. The longer you put off making friends, the less likely you will ever try. You'll eventually get to the point where you're desperately lonely but at the same time, more terrified of trying to engage with people to build friendships than you are of being lonely.
You seem a very genuine young lady. Friends or no friends, I hope that you find happiness and enjoy your life. I kind of gave up on pushing friendships a long time ago and have not regretted it a single day.
thanks for your encouraging word. I don't have a lot of friends and feel lonely sometimes. I will try my best to get along with myself❤❤❤❤
Being alone means experiencing pain, suffering, joy, and realizing that everything happens within ‘me,’ not from the outer world.
That's why you begin to understand that ‘I’ am both the cause and the effect. Then, you start to gain insights into your fears, overcome them immediately, and eventually find peace, no matter where you go.
You know we have a bunch of songs about this discussion, right?
I just want to say you are really great.
I feel you are so pure and not Scheming at all. You should be a very good friend
I really understand you, because I don't have a lot of friends either. I don't feel lonely when I am alone. I am also a good person. If anyone needs help, I always try to help them as much as I can. I wasted a lot of time to make friends with others and have parties with people which now I think it is not necessary. 老师，你讲中文的水平比我讲英文的水平好很多。👍
我也是没啥所谓的知己好友，特别是大家成家之后压根很少聚，哪怕现在网路这么发达，大家都很少群里聊天。 反而自己跟篮球做了最好的朋友， 每天都能打上1-2小时篮球，篮球上的朋友怎么说呢，不算朋友或者很好的朋友吧。有时候打完篮球内心还是很空虚的， 有孤独感，这些都不是能跟伴侣或者孩子说的那种感觉。
really appreciate this video ... I've had a lot of similar experiences of life as you. this feels really validating.
Nothing hits like a good hug from your best friend
@@kipetreal love never fails... A friend that loves you is worth more then One million followers on any social media ... Is he a relative or not... Friends come snd go, but a friend that loves you Will BE your friend for a life time and they are indeed rare to find! He Will buy you medicine if your sick, he will give you a hand if your homeless, he will help.you find a job if your jobless... Those are real friends. The Ones thst are there when all seems Lost... Love never fails.
Loneliness is one of society's greatest peculiarities.
Congraulations. Friend is just a word. Sometimes we define "friends" as peers, core group, support group or intimate other etc.
Thanks for sharing.
This is the most relatable video on RUclips. I currently have no friends either. All of my friends are either online or from another town. I just feel more free when I don't have any friends, especially how most of my friends in the past were toxic.
Brilliant people do not have many friends.
It’s a myth
Yes I'm the next Albert Einstein.
so I wish you could get more friends
it wrong af dude
You have no idea how bad I needed this exact video, at this exact moment. Thank you.
the problem with friends is this, when you have them you dont need them, when you need them you dont have them, when they are there you wanna be alone, when you wanna be alone they come knocking at your door, but without them, who knows ?
I really love this video,Thanks😊
This was soo relatable. I was a quiet kid growing up. I would enjoy my own company. I would make friends here and there. But none of these really turned into BFFs. Lockdown really hit me. I realized i really need some human connections. So, when i started university, i decided to make as many friends as possible. But i lost something along the way. I constantly contact them. I always want to make plans with them. I also always send them links and stuff at Telegram. Which i have realized they don't really watch. But whenever i find something fun or interesting i feel like i have to include them. They might be annoyed at that but never said anything. I really miss the contentment i had with myself. I miss my "Alone but not lonely" arc. Alhamdulillah anyways.
I used to be jealous of seeing other ppl in school and stuff who could make friends quickly and laugh and have fun but as i grew older i did get to know more and more ppl and honestly, u start to see patterns with ppl and relationships that make the idealized idea of friendship u had in your head melt away. so many ppl just arent worth the time. sometimes u find some good ones tho
Isolation never solves problems. It causes more stress..
I hate it.
I think exactly as you. It's kinda hard to explain, but when i'm hanging around with friends, i still feel alone, But when i'm alone with myself, i feel in peace and happy... It's maybe 'cause i haven't found the right group yet, but it's hard when you're in a group and you're the less important member of it
Yes, I think this is what happens at a certain point in your life if you moved away from the area you grew up in i.e. lost contact with high school/college friends, and in the area you reside you never joined any sporting clubs.
Doing things by yourself isnt ideal, but at the same time making friends gets more difficult as you grow older because the older we get the list of responsibilities grow (making us more and more time poor) and people with already close friend networks dont have the space in their lives to add more friends because of the time maintaining new friendships takes.
I have reached a point where I accept I dont have a friend network, and make the most of life. No point wishing to change reality, sometimes its better to accept things as they are, because wanting just leads to not being happy in the present. And also will just lead to more disappointment and sadness when things dont work out as you hoped..
I tried joining sport groups and special interest clubs but I just always found that I was just being someone else to fit in, and there was just no point to it, because it wasnt like the people I met there would really be there for me if I needed help or someone to talk to anyway.
I think if you are alone and it bugs you so much, build connections with family or get a dog. Do NOT make friends with people you work with.
Anyways, if you reading this I hope you have a great day.
you are alone because you want to simple as that
i love your voice, glad your isolation pushed in the direction of using it
having no friends is a good thing, productivity comes from being alone
It is never a good thing to have no friends at any time.
i'll bet 90% of humanity feels the same way.
too bad, cities are made in such a way that avoiding people becomes impossible, so you kindof zone out, or get an aversion from just about anyone. maybe if people where more free to meet, and not forced by circumstances, they would make friends more easily. my aversion to having friends comes from the expectations that are with it, like now you have to avoid saying all kinds of things, or doing all kinds of things, so your freedom is limited by those near you. if everyone was just hounest to each other, it is likely all existing friendships would just evaporate as so much hiding of frustration is involved.