This is like a rocket taking off. The higher you climb, the more incompatible emotional relationships will fall off like the fragments of a rocket body. There is an old saying in China, ‘Breaking away from things and letting go of things leads to rebirth（断舍离，得重生）.’ Every time you leave your relationship, it means that you are changing, especially when you are actively changing for the better. Some old friends who were previously with you still have outdated perceptions of you. This situation is not about who is right or wrong. Adults have very few friends in the real world because, unlike when they were children, they are often ‘forced’ to be friends. A true friendship is one that stands by you unconditionally, regardless of your actions or whether you are right or wrong.
*I totally feel you on this! I share the same perspective as you* . Back when I was in high school, I went through exactly what you described. *There was even a long period when I couldn’t let go because I just couldn’t figure things out.* But as I grew and gained more experiences, I started to understand that this might just be part of each of our unique life paths. *_As you said, “The right people will show up when they are meant to. We just need to be patient and let things happen naturally.”_*
Friendship isn’t about being brainless. It’s natural for humans to form bonds without fully understanding the reasons, as it’s part of our nature to explore what friendship truly means. This doesn’t mean that childhood friendships are the only pure ones. As adults, we have a greater capacity to discern who is genuine and who isn’t. If you believe you are pure, you should also acknowledge that there are others in the world who are pure too. However, if you think everyone is dishonest and friendships are only based on money or personal gain, then perhaps you need to reflect on your own perspective. Friendship is a meaningful connection, and it’s important to understand its value. Don’t listen to pessimistic opinions from people who lack understanding. Instead, research the benefits of social connections and friendships. You’ll find that while no one is perfect, there are still many people who exhibit genuine purity.
As an introvert, I couldn't agree more with your viewpoint. Thanks for your video. This is an interesting topic and it also helps me practice my English.
I notice(d) it also in relationships: when you’re young, you don’t have much “demands”, as you grow older and experience more and more in life, you also need / want to see more relatable elements in your partner than you did in the past.
“Being vulnerable is a big part of making friends.” Wow you get the point No wonder I can’t find a friend as used to be. I am struggling losing friends. Thanks for sharing your experiencing and comment.
I signed up for an English learning class and ended up with a profound analysis of social psychology. "we don't want them to think that we care about them more than they care about us" is the part that I resonate the most. If I texted someone about hanging out this weekend and not getting a response(yes or no is not necessarily important) within half an hour, I would never do it again. It doesn't matter it is a male friend or a pretty girl that I like. It doesn't mean I will not meet him/her again, I just don't want to be the one who initiates a meetup anymore.
tatally agree with what you have said in the video ,,, every best friend of mine when we were young now grows apart and even hard to have connections with each other.
As a teen from a troubled background, I craved connection during my high school years and I got it, I was popular with lots of folks, from across the friendship groups, hung out with the guys and girls, the rebellious kids, the geeks, even some of the sporty jock guys (which I was as surprised about as anyone). I always felt I found it easy to attract friendships with folks of my own age and often of people older than me. That pattern has largely continued as an adult, HOWEVER, I was not prepared for the periods in life where through no fault of my own, the possibilities for making good, nourishing connections with friends, be they for a short or a longer period were simply just not there. Understanding that phenomenon has been a tough lesson to learn. I have often reflected that if I have gone through periods where it is very hard to make friends, how hard must it be for folks who have always struggle to connect with other folks? I think I may have made things inadvertently worse for myself by 'fighting' these periods, instead of surrendering to them.
You make good points. For me though, I've had very few friends as a child, and none at elementary school. I would only see my friends on weekends. So school wasn't a factor. I had my most "socially healthy" year at 15. It felt great, but didn't last long. Then a good friend at 29. Now I'm 37 and surrounded with friends who are inconsistent, and just make me feel confused. When I found your video from last year, I thought, maybe I need to avoid friendships. And love. Disappointments and confusion constantly drag me into depression. So I might be more happy if I embrace being alone. The difficulty is that I don't have family, nor a romantic partner... I don't know if I can deal with being so isolated. But I want to try.
The topics on your channel are not the usual content for language learners. I don't even know how I came across your videos, probably scrolling for contents about introverts. But I'm glad that like-minded people exist.
Maybe as adults we tend to romantisize the friendships we had as kids. I realized friendships started to become rather "functional relations" when starting high school. Friends were using me for purposes (cinema, concerts, holidays, homework, making music together) - and that's what will happen throughout your adult life. Close relation went toward partnership leading to marriage - I better don't tell about how and why I think this will end as well ... romantic souls won't have an easy life
I think you're right in terms of people not having time, and that it takes effort to maintain friendships. Also, as people get older, they don't want to deal with bullshit anymore, and so are more willing to cut off people that aren't good for them. As for me personally, I can't stand idiots, and I also tend to focus on relationships, so I only have one good friend and a partner that is my best friend. I make friends easily, but I can't be bothered as it requires too much effort to maintain them.
A friend is the true luxury in life. The time, effort and the care, not everyone is lucky enough to meet someone that’s worthy of it. It’s someone that can only desired, but not pursued.
I totally agree with you that people make friends more easily when they are young. If you keep a youthful spirit in your heart, many people will still be willing to befriend you!
Having friends is less complex when you're young, mostly about shared experience. As you grow older, it is best to just be friendly. Because by then, it's safe to say things get purely transactional due to the nature of how interpersonal dynamics work. Most folks have established circles and families, and adding to that is like adding more responsibility. I don't know about you, but plenty of people really don't want to go the extra mile for more of what they've already got at that age.
The real good friends are who are still supporting you when you are in tough time or in difficult situations. and these real good friends are usually not you think about
In this materialistic world, as people become less kind, it becomes increasingly difficult to find trustworthy friends. Human interactions are often driven by self-interest, with people evaluating whether others have something they can exploit. This makes it hard to form genuine friendships.
after graduating from college more than 40 years ago, I still keep contact with my college friends and dorm mates. I guess that's old fashioned but young people should still try it.
i feel the same way as you do, i have similar experience. All i do now is let go of those, drive alone, eat alone, schedule my owm plan to entertain myself. I felt mind peace when i got rid of those who i used to feel closed before.
I work on the other side of the country (Australia) to where I live, so work friends are just that. I have one good friend from high school (graduated 30 years ago) who lives in a different state which we message now and then but never chat or see each other besides a brief visit when I flying through the same state and transferring between flights. All my interests are solo activities. I relate to your content.
Thanks for sharing this useful video; it helped me a lot, sometimes, I feel so alone just like you, I'm a bit sad about not being very good at talking and making friends, and I'm afraid of talking to a stranger. But not all bad things, which gave me more time to focus on the things I love, learning, and company with family. By the way, May you upload the subtitles for your videos, I've always liked to learn English from subtitles, downloading and reading out loud... Thanks
I think the young generation is easier to make friends. Unfortunately, don't have any friend is a really normal thing when the age like 40+, and it was it. Another crucial truth is, as an employee in the company, the competition happen naturally. Your colleague will become your competitor, you are in the same strict test frequently. It doesn't make sense being friends with. As all in all, if you really need, there are two key things to come up with. First, you have to be rich. The second is you have to live in the mountains. That are two key elements to have friends.
you are amarican. thus the most perfect thing in the world. Lots of perple want to go to usa in their whole life,but failed at last.So be an American is the gift ,let you much more luck than other people
I am from China, and it really lets me understand the thing is common even in the western world, it is more than a common sense of humanity if you are really a adult person... For me, I also had a lots of "good" friends in my col, sport mates from various fields, but they were getting disappeared when married, have child or move other city... initially I feel very sad because we often met once a week at least for years, but eventually everything is changed, you are right, we get in the different paths and more focus on ourselves, we no longer have connections... But here is thing I wanna share, is my hobby tennis, I am still fascinated with it since tennis is along with me for 20 years. Tennis can be more good connection let me have chance to meet more friends, the old gone, the new come, even now most of my tennis mates are 10+ years younger than me, thus I feel very lucky to love this game and stick on it in my midlife, it explores new friends and meet different world
It depends on average person's mentality and people around you. I live in St. Petersburg, Russia, and it's not very diffucult here for example. I have 2 great chinese friends - a man, and a woman. Jan and Tsy, if I wrote their names correctly in English. They are both friends of my good old friend, and they moved to Russia long time ago. Why we are friends ? First - they're both know Russian language very good, of course, they are great, honest people, and our interests are close, and Tsy does a very tasty tea :). As I think, this is a universal decision in almost every country. Even if you're an introvert: interests, open mind, and be a good person.
I feel like you just need someone in your life who would simply ask you "what YOU want to do?", "what would YOU prefer today?" and simply take a time to know you better and give you the feeling that he wants to know you better. And spend time with you while you do things you'd normally do alone. I feel like people like you are alone becasue they are afraid of giving up something of themselves for someone else. But if you find that right person (married for 14 years) - you don't give up anything. You are the same person you were when you were alone, just with someone else to share your life with and have fun together. That special person (a right one) is bonus on top. I do same things I did when I was alone.. but now I just share them with my wife. It's upgrade :) Many people tell others that you need to compromise when you are in relationship. That's not true. It's true for children, but not for right partner. Anyway, I was fine alone too till I met my wife. Never would go back. I hope one day a true love will knock to your doors. Wish you all best.
因为人都太挑剔别人，不愿和别人做朋友，所以这个人没有朋友。另一方面，由于别人做的不够完美，人们不愿和别人做朋友，所以这个人们就没有朋友。Because people are too picky to be friends with others, this person has no friends. On the other hand, because what others do is not perfect, people do not want to make friends with others, so this person has no friends.
Relationships have been hijecked by social media interactions. Putting focus on virtual communications has broken what was left of our ability to know each other by spending time.
Leah I feel the same way. I would totally be your friend. I’m sure there are girls here in my town that are as cool and interesting as you. But I don’t know how to meet them or be friends with them
You’re setting your expectations for friends too high. Anyone who doesn’t mean you harm and is willing to listen to your stories can be considered a friend. Don’t expect friends to help you-sometimes even family and loved ones might not be able to help. Friendship is simply about being willing to share with each other and enjoying the time spent together. When you’re with a friend, if they’re happy to hear your stories and you’re happy to hear theirs, that’s enough. If one day you no longer feel like sharing or talking, then the friendship might fade. But if you think of friendship this way, you’ll never feel lonely.There will always be someone willing to listen to your story-just like right now, I’m here in front of the screen, listening to your story and replying to you. And that’s enough.😊❤
What are friends? Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Why do children usually have many friends? The reason is: There's plenty of time to be together. Status and status differences are not antagonistic. Have common, similar interests. A chance to start. Two open souls. ----------That's not all. Sometimes, impossible friends can become friends. I don't know why. Maybe it was the right time, the right place, the right person. Maybe it was fate. I don't know. You know.
You can't trust people, once you see people for what they really are, you get how things really work, people only stay with you, as long as doing so is beneficial to them.
在没有朋友的一段时间，我发现我的大脑更清醒了，更加明白自己想要什么，思考问题也更有深度了
😅
確實，人生旅程中就如搭火車，中途有人上車，有人下車，人與人的相遇是種因緣，有好緣，也有不好的緣，遇到好的緣要好好珍惜當下。
我和你有同样的担心和疑惑 但我认为你是真诚的
學校畢業之後，進入社會工作，除非是在某些特殊的工作環境如醫院，或者員工聚集的大公司，否則接觸人的機會就比較少了。這時侯可能就要比較積極的去參加一些自己有興趣的活動或組織，增加機會去認識有共同興趣的人。這條路也是要靠機緣。自己要主動積極，碰到合適的對象，不要等對方採取行動，不妨主動釋出善意。很多人都比較被動，若是兩人彼此都有好感，確都等對方採取行動可能就錯過機會了。透過自己的親戚朋友介紹也是一個很好的方式。一個人生活固然無拘無束，但是有個能互相體諒的朋友或是伴侶，可能生活更加充實。
This is like a rocket taking off. The higher you climb, the more incompatible emotional relationships will fall off like the fragments of a rocket body. There is an old saying in China, ‘Breaking away from things and letting go of things leads to rebirth（断舍离，得重生）.’ Every time you leave your relationship, it means that you are changing, especially when you are actively changing for the better. Some old friends who were previously with you still have outdated perceptions of you. This situation is not about who is right or wrong. Adults have very few friends in the real world because, unlike when they were children, they are often ‘forced’ to be friends. A true friendship is one that stands by you unconditionally, regardless of your actions or whether you are right or wrong.
从社交目的方面来说，成年人的社交带有一定的功利性。工作场合中的社交很多时候是为了拓展业务、提升职业发展等，这种带有目的的社交很难建立起纯粹的友谊。不像学生时代，交朋友更多是为了分享快乐和陪伴。
说的简单点，上学没事闲的。哈哈
*I totally feel you on this! I share the same perspective as you* . Back when I was in high school, I went through exactly what you described. *There was even a long period when I couldn’t let go because I just couldn’t figure things out.* But as I grew and gained more experiences, I started to understand that this might just be part of each of our unique life paths.
*_As you said, “The right people will show up when they are meant to. We just need to be patient and let things happen naturally.”_*
中国有句话，朋友不在多在精。一个优质的朋友胜过一百个没有价值的朋友， 这个优质的朋友须带给你成长，欢乐，支持，适当的距离。你自己也要这么做
Totally agree. Not having good friends is such a common issue for many of us
Strongly agree with you,现在您除了教英语，还可以教哲学，心里学了，愿莉雅永远美丽善良并拥有越来越强大的内心
这个事情，我和你一样，但我也逐渐释怀。祝你好运
Yes. When we were kids , friendship was pure.
When we are adults, we would focus on our family relationship .
There are spouses and children.
Yep, living with our family is a good thing, But I've always thought that made me not Independent.
Friendship isn’t about being brainless. It’s natural for humans to form bonds without fully understanding the reasons, as it’s part of our nature to explore what friendship truly means. This doesn’t mean that childhood friendships are the only pure ones.
As adults, we have a greater capacity to discern who is genuine and who isn’t. If you believe you are pure, you should also acknowledge that there are others in the world who are pure too. However, if you think everyone is dishonest and friendships are only based on money or personal gain, then perhaps you need to reflect on your own perspective.
Friendship is a meaningful connection, and it’s important to understand its value. Don’t listen to pessimistic opinions from people who lack understanding. Instead, research the benefits of social connections and friendships. You’ll find that while no one is perfect, there are still many people who exhibit genuine purity.
我沒社恐 也超級隨和 不發脾氣 長的也很算人見人愛
朋友卻少少的 只能自己習慣就好🥲😙
不要被琐事浪费你的有限的时间 好好享受属于你自己的人生 在路上也许有同路人 但是不会始终陪伴 但是建立良好的世界观很重要 可以避免卷入混乱 交友是个双向选择毕竟要取得双方的信任才可以长久下去 所有随缘 做好自己
我自小就沒什麼朋友，最近八年大都在國外獨自生活，早就習慣單身的自由也不會感到孤獨
不過有時想想人類是社會性動物，活成這樣就像一個不被任何人類群體接受的外星人，冷眼旁觀人類文明在有生之年的發展，然後獨自死去
只是沒想到我並非特例，連莉雅老師這種美少女也會這樣
我个人的经验 是当你爱好或者想做一件事情时，就会认识到新的伙伴。当然有的可以成为好朋友，有的这个事情完成后 就没有联系了。这都是很正常的事情，也许我们应该把更多的注意力放在自己的身上。
As an introvert, I couldn't agree more with your viewpoint.
Thanks for your video. This is an interesting topic and it also helps me practice my English.
思想成熟的标致就是足够的独立性，而足够的独立性就是排他化，朋友就会很少，甚至没朋友，但这会让你很愉快。
I notice(d) it also in relationships: when you’re young, you don’t have much “demands”, as you grow older and experience more and more in life, you also need / want to see more relatable elements in your partner than you did in the past.
Different age, different friends, different level, different friends. This is called demands
很高興能分享您的心靈交流，很高、很高、很高。
您並不寂寞，您已經擁有了全世界。全世界在此同等高度的人都成了您的朋友，包括人、動物、植物、萬物- 萬物皆有靈。
這就是修行、修養，這是一種境界。只有在同樣的高度的人才懂。並不是這些以往的朋友漸漸疏遠、遠離您。而是現時生活的方式給人覺得永遠都在地上行走。它是物質世界永遠平行在地表面。祝福🙏您！❤
長大朋友越來越少這很正常，成年人都有自己的事要忙，主要著重在家庭和事業，多出來的時間都會選擇休息，不然就是沈浸於自己的愛好，社交這東西根本還排不上號，尤其大部分的社交都是無用的，就算是有用的社交也是建立在利益之上，不像童年交到朋友，關係很存粹，沒啥利害關係，這就是為啥成年人很難交到朋友。
其实莉雅老师说的很对呀，只是你真的没有必要介意读书时的那个同学 👩🎓 我相信她仍然是那个时段最好的朋友。更深入地反省说不定让自己受伤😂自然的人性就是如此，每个时段都有不同的朋友，但能维持很长时间的，真的不多很不容易，如果有那就继续珍惜、若没有 那就继续等待和寻找 😂❤真爱一定会有、会来。没有人知道具体的时间，但心怀感恩 、默默祷告、过好当下、享受现有才是根本😂❤
老師的生活感悟讓我度過一個快樂的星期天。🎉🎉🎉
“Being vulnerable is a big part of making friends.” Wow you get the point No wonder I can’t find a friend as used to be. I am struggling losing friends. Thanks for sharing your experiencing and comment.
I signed up for an English learning class and ended up with a profound analysis of social psychology. "we don't want them to think that we care about them more than they care about us" is the part that I resonate the most. If I texted someone about hanging out this weekend and not getting a response(yes or no is not necessarily important) within half an hour, I would never do it again. It doesn't matter it is a male friend or a pretty girl that I like. It doesn't mean I will not meet him/her again, I just don't want to be the one who initiates a meetup anymore.
莉雅的朋友离开的案例， 原因可能有二。 一是你说的她发现你对她不再有价值， 二是她不想未来的生活不会有你shadow她， 她要表现自己的独立性， 在别人面前显得有能力有见识。 而如果你继续存在她的生活中，总会让她感觉自己低能无知， 所以她离开你， 可能也是痛苦的抉择。第二种可能性也许更大。
tatally agree with what you have said in the video ,,, every best friend of mine when we were young now grows apart and even hard to have connections with each other.
I can totally relate to everything you say! Like you read my mind! lol You're a good therapist!
麗雅老師正解～人生啊⋯⋯來來去去，大家都是回憶，只能儘量在交往時，彼此互相扶持，該走時，微笑說再見。
As a teen from a troubled background, I craved connection during my high school years and I got it, I was popular with lots of folks, from across the friendship groups, hung out with the guys and girls, the rebellious kids, the geeks, even some of the sporty jock guys (which I was as surprised about as anyone). I always felt I found it easy to attract friendships with folks of my own age and often of people older than me. That pattern has largely continued as an adult, HOWEVER, I was not prepared for the periods in life where through no fault of my own, the possibilities for making good, nourishing connections with friends, be they for a short or a longer period were simply just not there. Understanding that phenomenon has been a tough lesson to learn. I have often reflected that if I have gone through periods where it is very hard to make friends, how hard must it be for folks who have always struggle to connect with other folks? I think I may have made things inadvertently worse for myself by 'fighting' these periods, instead of surrendering to them.
Having common interests and hobbies is what makes friends.
You make good points. For me though, I've had very few friends as a child, and none at elementary school. I would only see my friends on weekends. So school wasn't a factor. I had my most "socially healthy" year at 15. It felt great, but didn't last long. Then a good friend at 29. Now I'm 37 and surrounded with friends who are inconsistent, and just make me feel confused.
When I found your video from last year, I thought, maybe I need to avoid friendships. And love. Disappointments and confusion constantly drag me into depression. So I might be more happy if I embrace being alone. The difficulty is that I don't have family, nor a romantic partner... I don't know if I can deal with being so isolated. But I want to try.
Damn those "friends" who do not respond do your messages.
The topics on your channel are not the usual content for language learners. I don't even know how I came across your videos, probably scrolling for contents about introverts. But I'm glad that like-minded people exist.
Maybe as adults we tend to romantisize the friendships we had as kids.
I realized friendships started to become rather "functional relations" when starting high school. Friends were using me for purposes (cinema, concerts, holidays, homework, making music together) - and that's what will happen throughout your adult life.
Close relation went toward partnership leading to marriage - I better don't tell about how and why I think this will end as well ... romantic souls won't have an easy life
I think you're right in terms of people not having time, and that it takes effort to maintain friendships. Also, as people get older, they don't want to deal with bullshit anymore, and so are more willing to cut off people that aren't good for them. As for me personally, I can't stand idiots, and I also tend to focus on relationships, so I only have one good friend and a partner that is my best friend. I make friends easily, but I can't be bothered as it requires too much effort to maintain them.
这个从八字上可以看出来，有的人就是很多朋友 然后会有事业伙伴，有的人就是独来独往 一般靠技术类工作谋生。每个人都有不一样的人生吧
A friend is the true luxury in life. The time, effort and the care, not everyone is lucky enough to meet someone that’s worthy of it. It’s someone that can only desired, but not pursued.
I totally agree with you that people make friends more easily when they are young. If you keep a youthful spirit in your heart, many people will still be willing to befriend you!
孤独即自由
“Those with high emotional intelligence have no enemies; those with high IQ have no friends.”
首先你要定义什么样的朋友。一辈子知己有1到2个朋友足矣。酒肉朋友无所谓，100个与1个同一会事！
老师你好👋我觉得人最好的朋友首先应该是自己，了解自己，善待自己是一生的功课，朋友是帮助我们更加了解自己的，很明显你已经能够做到很好地和自己相处了，这时候，朋友的作用已经不是那么重要了
非常认同。顺便说一下，看美女，学英文，学习的连贯性都更强了，谢谢！
朋友不是一直要在身边、或要经常见面，尤其对成年人来说。在不同的人生阶段、不同的居住地点、不同的公司，可能原来常常混在一起的朋友逐渐联系少了、甚至不联系了。每个人的精力和社交范围都是有限的，结婚了、有孩子了、父母老了体弱多病都会牵扯很多精力，换了公司、居住地点会有新的社交圈子，以前的朋友圈子也就没精力经常维系了。不过真正的朋友关系不用担心这些，可能很多年不联系，也并不意味着就是路人关系了，真正需要联系的时候，朋友关系还是不会改变的。中国人家里人之间并不象美国人那样整天把“我爱你”挂在嘴上，但中国人对亲情的看法是高于一切的。对朋友也一样，不经常联系并不代表朋友关系结束了，不代表心里没有暗暗的想念。
Having friends is less complex when you're young, mostly about shared experience. As you grow older, it is best to just be friendly. Because by then, it's safe to say things get purely transactional due to the nature of how interpersonal dynamics work. Most folks have established circles and families, and adding to that is like adding more responsibility. I don't know about you, but plenty of people really don't want to go the extra mile for more of what they've already got at that age.
What you're experiencing now (difficulty in making friends) is actually very common in Japan.
好喜歡❤！
Thanks so much 莉雅, for the video, couldn't agree more!
年紀越大，朋友的確會越來越少，因為除了各自有各自的生活外，自我個性也會越來越明顯，其他人也就會慢慢不合，不過版主還這麼年輕，應該還沒到那階段才是😂😂。
很正常，中国近代诗有句话就说：“有些人来了去了，有些人近了远了，你看匆匆一年又是秋，岁月不堪数，故人不如初。”
因为你现在处在一个中间地带，从大学出来之后，又没有走进婚姻，大学和婚姻都很忙，但是你现在处于中间地带，享受这份清闲，虽然你认为这份清闲是孤独。你很聪明，发展自己的爱好拍视频打发时间，相信你那么聪明也会找到一个灵魂伴侣后，你就不觉得孤独，想一整天做的事情，一整天都不够。
Excellent points. Getting used like that is tragic.
The real good friends are who are still supporting you when you are in tough time or in difficult situations. and these real good friends are usually not you think about
朋友交往如同兩刃刀 就看你如何使用 年紀越大就越需要珍惜自己 獨善其身遠離親友！
At this point in my life...I don't really care anymore. Friends come and go, focus on yourself and everything will fall into place
In this materialistic world, as people become less kind, it becomes increasingly difficult to find trustworthy friends. Human interactions are often driven by self-interest, with people evaluating whether others have something they can exploit. This makes it hard to form genuine friendships.
after graduating from college more than 40 years ago, I still keep contact with my college friends and dorm mates. I guess that's old fashioned but young people should still try it.
我不觉得一个人的时候是hard time 。相比较于社交来说，我更喜欢一个人看看动漫，发发呆，多睡一会儿，或者开车瞎逛。
很多博主都有感受，但无法清清楚楚表达清楚，莉娅老师是一个思考问题深度比较深的好博主。继续支持！国内很多博主应该学习莉娅老师，她们经常直说一句话就以为别人都明白，比如：为什么不回消息，是因为你知道你不装了。这句话都是标题，根本没有深挖下去，停留在让大家去猜测的游戏里。这也是中国人的坏毛病，有话不说明白，都在猜。那么你去餐厅吃饭，服务员也问你吃什么，你说：你猜。看看餐厅会给你端来什么呢？
yes, it's so hard to make friends nowadays.
i feel the same way as you do, i have similar experience. All i do now is let go of those, drive alone, eat alone, schedule my owm plan to entertain myself. I felt mind peace when i got rid of those who i used to feel closed before.
I work on the other side of the country (Australia) to where I live, so work friends are just that. I have one good friend from high school (graduated 30 years ago) who lives in a different state which we message now and then but never chat or see each other besides a brief visit when I flying through the same state and transferring between flights. All my interests are solo activities. I relate to your content.
Let's be friends 😊
Thanks for sharing this useful video; it helped me a lot, sometimes, I feel so alone just like you, I'm a bit sad about not being very good at talking and making friends, and I'm afraid of talking to a stranger. But not all bad things, which gave me more time to focus on the things I love, learning, and company with family.
By the way, May you upload the subtitles for your videos, I've always liked to learn English from subtitles, downloading and reading out loud... Thanks
Great!🎉🎉🎉
I think the young generation is easier to make friends. Unfortunately, don't have any friend is a really normal thing when the age like 40+, and it was it.
Another crucial truth is, as an employee in the company, the competition happen naturally. Your colleague will become your competitor, you are in the same strict test frequently. It doesn't make sense being friends with.
As all in all, if you really need, there are two key things to come up with. First, you have to be rich. The second is you have to live in the mountains. That are two key elements to have friends.
Staying alone is a philosophy of our lifetime that is also an art to teach us that we should care ourselves first instead of caring others reactions…😂
you are amarican. thus the most perfect thing in the world. Lots of perple want to go to usa in their whole life,but failed at last.So be an American is the gift ,let you much more luck than other people
I am from China, and it really lets me understand the thing is common even in the western world, it is more than a common sense of humanity if you are really a adult person...
For me, I also had a lots of "good" friends in my col, sport mates from various fields, but they were getting disappeared when married, have child or move other city... initially I feel very sad because we often met once a week at least for years, but eventually everything is changed, you are right, we get in the different paths and more focus on ourselves, we no longer have connections...
But here is thing I wanna share, is my hobby tennis, I am still fascinated with it since tennis is along with me for 20 years. Tennis can be more good connection let me have chance to meet more friends, the old gone, the new come, even now most of my tennis mates are 10+ years younger than me, thus I feel very lucky to love this game and stick on it in my midlife, it explores new friends and meet different world
It depends on average person's mentality and people around you. I live in St. Petersburg, Russia, and it's not very diffucult here for example. I have 2 great chinese friends - a man, and a woman. Jan and Tsy, if I wrote their names correctly in English. They are both friends of my good old friend, and they moved to Russia long time ago. Why we are friends ? First - they're both know Russian language very good, of course, they are great, honest people, and our interests are close, and Tsy does a very tasty tea :). As I think, this is a universal decision in almost every country. Even if you're an introvert: interests, open mind, and be a good person.
成年人之间很难有纯粹的友谊，我对别人的态度也是如此。同事之间也就是工作时联系，就算工作时关系不错一旦离职后基本不联系，是我主动不会再去联系，或许潜意识里我并不觉得他们对我有什么想要成为朋友的吸引力。
我们都是生活在过去或至少是怀念过去的人，我们没有那么大的野心去向外寻求太多东西；为了生活或别的原因，少有人和我们步调一致。
有幸成为第1000个为这个视频点赞的人👍
I feel like you just need someone in your life who would simply ask you "what YOU want to do?", "what would YOU prefer today?" and simply take a time to know you better and give you the feeling that he wants to know you better. And spend time with you while you do things you'd normally do alone.
I feel like people like you are alone becasue they are afraid of giving up something of themselves for someone else. But if you find that right person (married for 14 years) - you don't give up anything. You are the same person you were when you were alone, just with someone else to share your life with and have fun together. That special person (a right one) is bonus on top. I do same things I did when I was alone.. but now I just share them with my wife. It's upgrade :)
Many people tell others that you need to compromise when you are in relationship. That's not true. It's true for children, but not for right partner.
Anyway, I was fine alone too till I met my wife. Never would go back. I hope one day a true love will knock to your doors. Wish you all best.
need such an excellent English teacher
因为人都太挑剔别人，不愿和别人做朋友，所以这个人没有朋友。另一方面，由于别人做的不够完美，人们不愿和别人做朋友，所以这个人们就没有朋友。Because people are too picky to be friends with others, this person has no friends. On the other hand, because what others do is not perfect, people do not want to make friends with others, so this person has no friends.
我现在就身边只有爱人和孩子，不上班就只想一家人在一起，价值观不同的人真不想多说两句话！😊
关注自己，中国有句话“花香蝶自来，很多人很难坚持独立自爱，也确实很孤单，社会压力也是蛮大的”。可以和你交朋友吗你狠可爱~
即使隔着屏幕和互联网，我们也可以跟你成为网络朋友，也许这样就不会觉得失落了。
Relationships have been hijecked by social media interactions.
Putting focus on virtual communications has broken what was left of our ability to know each other by spending time.
As an adult,people should and will be reserved for themselves
金錢 利益 人心 險惡 就是這樣而已，最能靠的就只有自己，變的不容易相信人，這沒什麼不好的．就是 life
"小時候哭著哭著就笑了，大了笑著笑著就哭了"
simpler, more friends, more thinking, more space, then less friends
I send you a big hug from Dominican Republic.
祝你好运🍀
Leah I feel the same way. I would totally be your friend. I’m sure there are girls here in my town that are as cool and interesting as you. But I don’t know how to meet them or be friends with them
当我有利用价值的时候，身边很多朋友，等我遇到困难的时候，能帮忙的朋友没有几个
You are my friend.
You’re setting your expectations for friends too high. Anyone who doesn’t mean you harm and is willing to listen to your stories can be considered a friend. Don’t expect friends to help you-sometimes even family and loved ones might not be able to help. Friendship is simply about being willing to share with each other and enjoying the time spent together. When you’re with a friend, if they’re happy to hear your stories and you’re happy to hear theirs, that’s enough. If one day you no longer feel like sharing or talking, then the friendship might fade. But if you think of friendship this way, you’ll never feel lonely.There will always be someone willing to listen to your story-just like right now, I’m here in front of the screen, listening to your story and replying to you. And that’s enough.😊❤
I think the state of "normal" could be an illusion that actually rarely happens
Well said.
Because you are very sweet
😊哈哈哈 我今天刷到你的视频 我们可以是朋友了吗 我先祝福你 如意 心想事成😊
Don't worry. When you get more older, you are not need friend anymore.
I wanna be a friend with you
What are friends? Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Why do children usually have many friends?
The reason is:
There's plenty of time to be together.
Status and status differences are not antagonistic.
Have common, similar interests.
A chance to start.
Two open souls.
----------That's not all.
Sometimes, impossible friends can become friends.
I don't know why. Maybe it was the right time, the right place, the right person.
Maybe it was fate.
I don't know. You know.
true
I really didn’t expect your views to align so perfectly with mine.
It’s normal. I am reaching 60 now. I only had4 really good friends that stuced with me throughout.
You can't trust people, once you see people for what they really are, you get how things really work, people only stay with you, as long as doing so is beneficial to them.