Don't go away mad... Just go away. When I was a kid, my Mom told me her brother's (my cool uncle) wife told him "After the holidays, I'm leaving you". James replied "No you're not. You're leaving tonight".
But there's nothing wrong with ultimatums, what's wrong is how people react to them when they don't get the outcome they expected. It's way more healthy to say..."I want to marry and have a family soon, if you don't want to then we'll have to break up"... than to stay 10 years resenting a person who never gave you what you needed.
Always call them on their bluff as it will instruct you on all you need to know about them, the biggest lesson being that they're someone you absolutely do not need in your life.
No. Some ultimatums are valid and legitimate. Man: "I am allergic to the dander from ferrets." Wife: "I am getting a ferret." Man: "I will not live in a house with a ferret in it." She got a ferret, he left. And later divorced. My friend refused to live sick.
I had this issue with a woman I dated more than 25 years ago. She gave me an ultimatum on her May birthday for an engagement ring by Christmas or she was "outta here", after I gave her a small diamond necklace. I replied, "I'll save you 7 months and tell you right now you won't get a ring by Christmas." It ruined her birthday for both of us and we did nothing that day. I told her, If you give me an ultimatum, even if it was something I was going to do anyway that I'll choose the opposite. Don't ever give me an ultimatum and I won't give you one either. She didn't go anywhere, but I ended up dumping her early the next year.
@@Shadow_Banned_Conservative this is kinda dumb.... ultimatums are a way to set an expectation that needs to be accepted or not. There's nothing wrong with ultimatums, just how people react to not having the ending they wanted. It's dumb and immature to say no even if you were going to say yes just because they asked.
Your gonna laugh at this story, Had a childhood friend tell me that in highschool, pressured me into having kids with her and I said no including marriage. She ended up marrying my class mate & the relationship didn't last especially having a kid with her glad I dodged a bullet on that one 😂😂😂😂😂
No. Sometimes it is standing your ground. A friend of mine is allergic to the dander from ferrets. His wife knew. She said she was getting a ferret. He told her he would not live in a house with a ferret in it as he refused to live sick. She got a ferret, he left.
Probably because weak guys see it as them losing control. Is she allowed to cheat on you without you doing anything? No? There's an understood ultimatum: Never cheat on me. If you're scared of marriage, just admit it. If you can't handle it, get out of the relationship. If you're worried about her taking stuff in a divorce, use a prenup (a guy's ultimatum). Women don't want boyfriends for 10 years. They want a husband and a family. Either you're too immature or you're ready. If you're ready, do it; quit stalling. If you're not ready, move on.
One of the few smart responses on here. Most guys come off sounding scared. A prenup is also an ultimatum of sorts, but it's the safety net to protect the guys. Most the males on here don't seem mature enough to get married anyway.
@@grondhero A prenup is a good way to gauge her response and possible character. If she goes bat sh*t crazy over it, then she might be hiding that she is a gold digger and you can make a choice to get rid of her.
@@wendigos_eat_people7177 Yep. And with the bias in the courts favoring women (even the very rare one where the man gets custody but has to pay child support) a prenup is a life saver. Most of these guys forget that *women want a man/husband who is **_better_** than they are.* That's why they look for an older guy with a better paycheck and in good shape. A better man will provide when she's had a baby, as well as define how the marriage goes (being in charge without being a control freak). I see a lot of women (especially in the black community) freak out about prenups because _before they're even married_ they think "what's yours is mine." A prenup can highlight the gold diggers; a successful, high quality woman might be taken aback, but in that case, the prenup protects her as well.
The first clip was good, BUT I got a BETTER One than what she JUST told! A lady moved ALL the way to Las Vegas with her boyfriend and she DIDN'T have a job, he's paying for EVERYTHING. She had the nerve to say to him if you won't marry me I'm leaving and going back home to her home state! The guy said well WHEN are you leaving? 😂😆☺️ The lady ALSO said that her man "helped" her pack all her s*** up and put it in her car and told her to have a safe trip home! Yikes!!!
@@HeliosX28 that is so REAL AND authentic, AND I'M Not just 'laughing" at the lady, BUT you DON'T try to pull someone's card ,give them an ultimatum and then end up with an answer that you DON'T WANT or LIKE!!
@@barnabyaprobert5159 BUT that DON'T mean people have to agree with an ultimatum, THAT'S The WHOLE point of people rejecting an ultimatum that they DON'T have to comply with!!!
I had an ex that tried to give me an ultimatum to marry her, I told her that it sounds more like you're looking forward to the divorce so you can try and take half my earnings. If you'll notice I called her an ex
So why not be intelligent and get a prenup? Sounds like either you were scared of commitment or it wasn't a good relationship and you were scared of breaking up. She wanted a husband and you clearly weren't husband material.
@@grondhero I was with her for 6 and 1/2 years so not scared of the commitment, but for most of that time I was actually trying to get rid of her because she had borderline personality disorder and if you know anything about that condition you know exactly what I'm talking about.
@@grondhero I find it interesting you use the phrase "scared of commitment." We see the same notion in phrases like "homophobe." Do people think fear is the only reason to not want or like something? I can't stand peas, but not because I'm afraid of them. I have to wonder if this is a form of schoolyard taunting (what's wrong? Why won't you jump off the roof....you chicken?) that some people never grew out of.
@@lamplighter1968 What's the point of being a lifelong boyfriend? The bf/gf stage is not meant to be permanent. Either you're ready to commit to marriage or you're not. If you're not, get out of the relationship. You're trying to deflect by putting "homophobe" in there. We don't celebrate adults who pretend to be teenagers or babies, because those are stages of life you progress through. If you've been in a bf/gf relationship for 2-5 years, you need to either take the next step or get out of it, because you're wasting both people's time.
I was a lawyer for over 30 years, I always advised against ultimatums, even if they “work” it’s a loss, because down the road the victim of the ultimatum WILL react
@@wendigos_eat_people7177 Just because she _shouldn't_ doesn't mean she _doesn't._ IF everyone did what was logical, we'd be Vulcans and not have so much stress in the world.
I was literally told by my girlfriend ( she was at the time living at my house) " It's me or the dog" ( four year old Dalmatian) I gave her 24 hours to pack her stuff and leave.......she couldn't believe the dog came first. So, yeah.....she got the boot ;)
Both you and her are just making numbers up based off your feelings. _"Who Files for Divorce More in the U.S. A study by Michael Rosenfeld from Stanford University analyzes data from the How Couples Meet and Stay Together (HCMST) survey, encompassing responses from a diverse sample of couples. The study concludes that approximately 69% of divorces are initiated by women."_ Jul 1, 2024
Then you weren't good husband or father material to begin with. The bf/gf _stage_ isn't meant to be a lifestyle. Just like being a toddler or teenager, you need to grow out of it. You need love, then marriage, then a child. If you simply settle in to a daily routine, you're too scared or too immature to move on. This gives her an out to look for husband material and you can be on your own, since you mentally were anyway.
@@jantwede2959 Not necessarily doomed, many have been together for life and have kids and have never tied the knot. Like Goldie Han & Kurt Russel. If he is getting his needs met and is happy then he has no reason to leave her, but ,and I mean but. The woman has to remain a respectable, caring woman of good character to keep him. So no using marriage in order to become a power hungry tyrant. or resource hungry fiend. If she does the right thing then she has very little to worry about. Also many men are avoiding marriage theses days for good reasons and that doesn't stop women from dating them long term. It just means she doesn't have the paper that allows her to r*pe her partner if she gets bored or isn't happy. She still does get CS if she had a child with him though. Also stop using the rare worse case scenarios. That is such a woman move. Most of the time it used to gain power and control over men in some fashion. If guys were to do the same thing ,then woman would have Kittens for sure. If we reversed the sexes.
My cousin was with a girl who's personality was filled with drama and she tried to pressure him into marriage, he walked away. Two years later he married her younger sister who was completely different from her and treats him like a king. Evidently the ex is still pissed about how things turned out...😂
Been there done that. I didn’t buy the ultimatum and she left. Then she blamed me for not trying to save the relationship. It’s been 5 plus years and I’m doing great. More money and less drama. Couldn’t be happier
Some platinum rules to live by. Stay away from women who: Have fingernail talons. Have brushed up eyebrows. Have butterfly sized eyelashes. While speaking, use the hand gesture in which they extend all 5 fingers and touch them all at the thumb.
Her: "85% if not higher of marriage proposals are because of ultimatums... " Me: Ah, so that could be one of the reasons why Marriage is at a all-time low...
Back in 1995 I was living with a woman with 2 boys. She got mad at me for spending 2 weekends a month with my daughter. She gave me a Choice, "It's either me and my Boys or Nothing" I Didn't even reply back. I simply got up, packed me stuff and left. She was surprised, I said as I was walking out the door, "What you you do if I said the same to you about you and your boys." Her reply, "My Boys live with me, that's different." Closed the door and was stalked for 2 years afterwards, she was begging to take her back.
Ladies, if you give your man a proposal ultimatum, you LOST. Period. If he refuses, relationship over. If he accepts, you lose respect for him, relationship decays until it ceases to exist. Either way, you end up alone.
If men were more confident in their relationships and did dealt with this in a similar fashion. If she doesn't have serious red flags except this one just ask her how fast she wants to pack her bags and do so. Tell her she needs to actually work on herself as a person and grow up. I don't care how much they moan on TikTok, in fact the best thing to do is to do the same and catch them and confidently tell them that you just dropped all your plans for her. (Better yet don't date anyone that has a TikTok, and if they do, check it out, see if they have red flags
I wish I'd kind of known this earlier. After watching this video I realized that I was silent treatmented into getting engaged. And through our whole relationship, she has used ultimatums to control our relationship. Having grown up in a religious home where divorce was not an option, I've pretty much SIMPed to a bunch of disrespectful stuff. It's pretty sad really. 40 years of issues. But I'm finally getting more red pilled and standing up to her. I no longer fear getting divorced. I finally have more clarity as to what's been transpiring over the past decades.
My husband & I were married 31 years before his death. And in the way I see these women acting I see nothing good ahead for them. We talked things through, we worked together to build a good, happy life. I respected & loved my husband, I would never play games with that man. We enjoyed our marriage, our children & our life. I don't know what you can accomplish with all this game playing. Certainly not peace & one of my desires was to build a comfortable & peaceful home for our family to be able to retreat to @ the end of the day. We had that & with my children grown & successful I still have that peace & comfort that I think all folks need. Good luck ladies with this terrible idea that some fool thought up & you bought into.
I've literally broken up with every woman who has ever given me an ultimatum . That crap doesn't fly with me . I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do , and you can not manipulate , whine, scream , throw fits ,or cry me into doing it .
The real question is: why are you scared to commit? If multiple women are giving you ultimatums, it sounds like _you're_ the problem. You're definitely showing us you're selfish. Are you not mature enough to be a husband and father? Are you scared of the commitment and responsibilities? Are you scared of divorce and don't know what a prenup is?
@@grondhero Most women are the same today, they have an automatic in group preference the scientist call it. Normal's call it the hive mind or the female borg collective. Once it gets corrupted by feminism, social media, politics, and all sorts of Hollywood tv shows and movies and Disney then it's only a matter of time when the " majority" of women become to corrupt for marriage. The latest stats I read for women worthy of marriage and are single is only 2.5 % So the guy your attaching and and trying to humiliate is actually the wise one. He mention " whine, scream , throw fits ,or cry me into doing it" all those things are most of the time manipulation tactics used by women. So he understands women far better than you. You said he was selfish? I find women are more selfish by nature than men, but are better able to hide it more , and their ego's theses days is far worse than any mans. Also selfish is so stupid to use on him. NO woman is entitled to marriage or even a relationship, same for the man. So...... no man can ever be considered selfish for avoiding marriage, no woman has any rights to him. It's her job to find some one willing to marry her ,and leave a guy if necessary when his hints are rock solid.
Best to be alone for the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong ones! I think that modern women will find that ultimatums which is used to manipulate dosen't work on self respespecting men!
i and this girl i liked lived in the same building. one day i"m down in the lobby she shows up and says i have other options .this guy popped up out of no where stood up and said yeah me. so i got out of the way and let her have her option. i"m a good man not a nice guy.
Nice to know that someone else knows the difference between good men and nice men. Also, if a girl ever says she has options, it because she has already explored them; leave her in an instant and let that option deal with her (and don't take her back in weeks when the option dumped her)
@@Farce13 , marriage used to happen because two people wanted to live together and probably have children. Now living together and having children doesn’t seem to require marriage, so why the push by woman to get married? The state being involved doesn’t change the question. Also, I often wonder about these long-term living arrangements and the possible connection to common-law marriage.
For Over 40 years.... Everytime a female gave me an ultimatum of Any Kind ...... that's the last time they had the Privilege....of talking to me ........
if you want, you can use this. My sister was going out with her bf for about 6+ years, rest of the family didnt really like him, but dealt with him since she loved him. after being together for so long, she told him practically gave him an ultimatum about a proposal. he didnt, so they separated. my sister started going out with someone else, her ex then got jealous and then pretty much proposed to her, she took him back and accepted. eventho the new bf she was starting to like. they get married, have a kid, my nephew, and then all the more problems kept coming. only after about 4 years of marriage, they get divorced. he got into drugs and alcohol, and then she took more from him.
It is not bad for a woman to say they want to be married, and when she wants to get married, but not an ultimatum. My wife’s friends asked when I was going to ask her to marry her, but I asked them if they didn’t think I had a plan.
Never sign the birth certificate never sign the adoption papers for another mans child. Never allow a single women or single mom with child to move into the home you own. Do not get 'engaged' to a women that told you she would not sign a prenup before the marraige.
If women want to get married, BE a person that your man wants to marry. That gets him to have the "damn I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person, and it makes me physically sick to think that might not happen" moment.
I fell for an ultimatum. Worst decision I could have made. It is all about control and that type of narcissism will cost you your house, your kids, and your money.
1- if you HAVE to give ultimatums to TRY and get a guy to marry you THEN YOU’ve already lost. 2- you give an ultimatum BEFORE you give him everything you have to offer not after.
My proposal was completely by surprise. My husband planned a beach trip for the both of us, thats all I knew. He propsed at sunset on the beach with just the two of us. It was only 6mo into our relationship and were still happy together 13 years later. NONE of my friends gave their husbands ultimatums and they are all happily married. This is INSANE advice ladies please from an actually married woman, don't do this.
0:45 Ultimatums are a real thing. And they are a bad thing. 4:25 22 is too young. 7:10 Does that make sense? Nope. I did not understand a word. 10:50 A dream wife!!!
When I did date had only two give me a ultimatum to propose or else. One was when I was 26 years old we had dated casually. Nothing special coffee dates, movies, and dinner. We had been dating for a month like that but I started noticing she had started getting sick alot and then she started hinting we should be more serious and having mood swings. I realized she acted like she was pregnant. Now understand we never were intimate. My suspicion of her state made me pull back from her. Her demand for marriage just made me cut her off. Year later she is a single mom. Glad I trusted my gut.
WTF is wrong with you? Why are you scared? You're happy enough having sex with her. You had a kid with her (irresponsibly, outside of marriage) and now you won't marry her? Why? You're irresponsible and setting your kid up for failure, possibly prison. (85% of people in prison grow up without a father.) Man up. Either get married or get out.
5:44 I see he’s holding a kid (his) most likely, so she gave him the highest honor a woman can give a man without having the security of being his wife FIRST? Whose fault is that……..NOT his. She played the game backwards & now she has to suffer the results of it…..
How come when a man says sign a prenuptial agreement or I won't marry you they say it's duress and throw the agreement out but if a woman says marry me or I will dump you then that's not duress? A man who gets married under an ultimatum should have a right to get an annulment.
To be fair, it is hardly unreasonable to tell a person stop wasting my time. But then the traditional ultimatum was no sex before marriage.im going to be a virgin bride. Women seem to have forgotten the classic method of getting men to decide. Congrats ladies on giving up your whole card.
I completely disagree with the video. Kevin Samuels told women to not waste their time on a man who won’t marry them if they’re looking to get married.
Yes, but he also said that they need to be realistic as you can't "force" someone to propose... Some of these 304 are trying to get married within a year of dating 🤣 and are straight desperate because even the average guys are rejecting them
There are differing reasons for an ultimatum. Trying to extract acquiescence to a legal contract, marriage, is not one anyone should try or accept. That said common law arrangements are equally a legal situation that should not be entered into without complete understanding of all the legal ramifications that can ensue. Most lawyers will give advice to never cohabitate.
10:16 She doesn’t pay any bills and has no concept of money. She’s with a beta provider. How do I know? She says she spends $500 per month on groceries for a family of 5. It’s 2024 - there’s no way a family of 5 is eating for only $500 per month.
Ummm I dont think she's lying. We have a family of 5 with 15, 13, 11 year olds and all play sports. They eat us out the house and our bill is about 600-700 a month. We live in the Houston area where things are much higher than anywhere in Nebraska. Plus her kids are much younger. So $500 isnt a stretch.
Brothers, don't go along with an ultimatum. It will ruin your relationship. I married my girlfriend on an ultimatum. That set the tone. Every 6 months or so for the next 14 years she would say she was leaving to get her way. I always caved and asked her to stay. I was miserable. She cheated. Why wouldn't she? She had all the power. I finally woke up and left myself. I've had my best life ever since.
I had a similar situation happen. My then GF let herself into my apartment while I was watching a hockey game. She stood between me and the TV blocking my view and said "So, are you going to marry me or what?". I said "Or what". I never saw her again. Way too many ultimatums in that relationship. Dodged a bullet there, me thinks.
I have told friends, my wife, family, etc - I will always choose against an ultimatum, so just don't. Some of the worst possible emotional blackmail, leave people who present relationship ultimatums
I've had this situation with an entitled, toxic & narcisstic so called "gf" into april this year - i simply told her - i don't negotiate with terrorists. Then hang up the call.
Wow, it’s almost as if being a modest & pure woman who waits until marriage, would be the better choice. If you’re giving everything up, including having children with no ring, a man has absolutely zero reason to marry you, there’s literally nothing else he has to gain from that, what he can lose though, EVERYTHING. But yall keep preaching women empowerment & such. We’ll check back in another 20 years & see how things are.
You give me an ultimatum. The relationship is over.
If you’re given an ultimatum, the relationship ended a while ago… you’re just getting brought up to speed.
@@YWUBHYD THAT'S NOT TRUE, bcuz those people are "out" BEFORE All THAT bs that you SAID!
Bye bye there's the door 🚪 😊
This. I agree. That's a power play
facts... i told my girl when we first met dont ever give me ultimatums. they dont work on me. quickest way to end the relationship.
Don't go away mad... Just go away. When I was a kid, my Mom told me her brother's (my cool uncle) wife told him "After the holidays, I'm leaving you". James replied "No you're not. You're leaving tonight".
LMAO
👑
Women will not breakup with a man before Xmas, Valentines day or their Birthday.....But Men do..... Its not a new thing
@@gmarkross because men aren't about to let themselves be taken advantage of when the woman makes it clear that she's going to leave anyway?
🔥🤣
If she gives you an ultimatum, choose peace. Not her
Or laters 😂😂😂😂
I absolutely agree
But there's nothing wrong with ultimatums, what's wrong is how people react to them when they don't get the outcome they expected. It's way more healthy to say..."I want to marry and have a family soon, if you don't want to then we'll have to break up"... than to stay 10 years resenting a person who never gave you what you needed.
Always call them on their bluff as it will instruct you on all you need to know about them, the biggest lesson being that they're someone you absolutely do not need in your life.
An ultimatum is an alternate order...take the order!!!
Ultimatums is like negotiating with terrorists. Never comply.
@@AmericanBoy-si9zg wow! I like that response 👍
No. Some ultimatums are valid and legitimate.
Man: "I am allergic to the dander from ferrets."
Wife: "I am getting a ferret."
Man: "I will not live in a house with a ferret in it."
She got a ferret, he left. And later divorced.
My friend refused to live sick.
Insightful analogy, very true.
I had this issue with a woman I dated more than 25 years ago. She gave me an ultimatum on her May birthday for an engagement ring by Christmas or she was "outta here", after I gave her a small diamond necklace. I replied, "I'll save you 7 months and tell you right now you won't get a ring by Christmas." It ruined her birthday for both of us and we did nothing that day. I told her, If you give me an ultimatum, even if it was something I was going to do anyway that I'll choose the opposite. Don't ever give me an ultimatum and I won't give you one either.
She didn't go anywhere, but I ended up dumping her early the next year.
@@Shadow_Banned_Conservative this is kinda dumb.... ultimatums are a way to set an expectation that needs to be accepted or not. There's nothing wrong with ultimatums, just how people react to not having the ending they wanted.
It's dumb and immature to say no even if you were going to say yes just because they asked.
Ladies, you're giving me an ultimatum? sign this prenup.
Ultimatum now null and void 😂
I Don’t Do Threats… I Promise!
The prenup is an ultimatum..works both ways
@@oneeleven9832 Pre-nup is a Form of Insurance..
Smart man. They want to give us ultimatums, then they better be prepared for us to respond in kind.
Proposal ultimatums are a preview of your married life.
Exactly. Controlling by blackmail.
These are some of the truest words I have seen on YT
Ultimatum is yet another type of manipulation.
Your gonna laugh at this story, Had a childhood friend tell me that in highschool, pressured me into having kids with her and I said no including marriage. She ended up marrying my class mate & the relationship didn't last especially having a kid with her glad I dodged a bullet on that one 😂😂😂😂😂
No. Sometimes it is standing your ground.
A friend of mine is allergic to the dander from ferrets. His wife knew.
She said she was getting a ferret. He told her he would not live in a house with a ferret in it as he refused to live sick.
She got a ferret, he left.
@@snidecommenter7117youre right about that example, but most times its manipulation
@@Farce13 I agree with you.
🎯
It’s my natural instinct to go against any ultimatum given to me.
Ditto
I think most Men will agree with you. I certainly do.
100% "Ultimatum" is a fancy word for "threat." Try threatening some people, and see what happens.
I don't mean to. But I'll do it out of spite
Probably because weak guys see it as them losing control. Is she allowed to cheat on you without you doing anything? No? There's an understood ultimatum: Never cheat on me. If you're scared of marriage, just admit it. If you can't handle it, get out of the relationship. If you're worried about her taking stuff in a divorce, use a prenup (a guy's ultimatum).
Women don't want boyfriends for 10 years. They want a husband and a family. Either you're too immature or you're ready. If you're ready, do it; quit stalling. If you're not ready, move on.
Will these women sign a pre-nup?
One of the few smart responses on here. Most guys come off sounding scared. A prenup is also an ultimatum of sorts, but it's the safety net to protect the guys. Most the males on here don't seem mature enough to get married anyway.
@@grondhero A prenup is a good way to gauge her response and possible character. If she goes bat sh*t crazy over it, then she might be hiding that she is a gold digger and you can make a choice to get rid of her.
@@wendigos_eat_people7177 Yep. And with the bias in the courts favoring women (even the very rare one where the man gets custody but has to pay child support) a prenup is a life saver.
Most of these guys forget that *women want a man/husband who is **_better_** than they are.* That's why they look for an older guy with a better paycheck and in good shape. A better man will provide when she's had a baby, as well as define how the marriage goes (being in charge without being a control freak).
I see a lot of women (especially in the black community) freak out about prenups because _before they're even married_ they think "what's yours is mine." A prenup can highlight the gold diggers; a successful, high quality woman might be taken aback, but in that case, the prenup protects her as well.
My first wife gave me the ultimatum, my motor bike or her, I left the next day.
Better punch line is, “I rode off on my motor bike the next day!”
Never allow a woman to dictate what your passions or hobbies are.
@@JBigjake "All she heard was....bbbbrrrrrrrrmmmmm!"
on your motor bike.
@@loqutisborg5416 Riding off into the Sunset.
The first clip was good, BUT I got a BETTER One than what she JUST told! A lady moved ALL the way to Las Vegas with her boyfriend and she DIDN'T have a job, he's paying for EVERYTHING. She had the nerve to say to him if you won't marry me I'm leaving and going back home to her home state! The guy said well WHEN are you leaving?
😂😆☺️
The lady ALSO said that her man "helped" her pack all her s*** up and put it in her car and told her to have a safe trip home! Yikes!!!
I remember that clip, it was hilarious
@@HeliosX28 that is so REAL AND authentic, AND I'M Not just 'laughing" at the lady, BUT you DON'T try to pull someone's card ,give them an ultimatum and then end up with an answer that you DON'T WANT or LIKE!!
That's the way you handle a threat aka ultimatum.
"85% of proposals are ultimatums."
Show me the scientific proof of that BS claim.
@@barnabyaprobert5159 BUT that DON'T mean people have to agree with an ultimatum, THAT'S The WHOLE point of people rejecting an ultimatum that they DON'T have to comply with!!!
Probably the same 85% filing for divorce because their not happy. LOL
@@larrykelly3536 Exactly what I was going to post...
@@larrykelly3536 You beat me to it.
85% are simps 🤷♂️
I had an ex that tried to give me an ultimatum to marry her, I told her that it sounds more like you're looking forward to the divorce so you can try and take half my earnings. If you'll notice I called her an ex
So why not be intelligent and get a prenup? Sounds like either you were scared of commitment or it wasn't a good relationship and you were scared of breaking up. She wanted a husband and you clearly weren't husband material.
@@grondhero I was with her for 6 and 1/2 years so not scared of the commitment, but for most of that time I was actually trying to get rid of her because she had borderline personality disorder and if you know anything about that condition you know exactly what I'm talking about.
@@grondhero I find it interesting you use the phrase "scared of commitment." We see the same notion in phrases like "homophobe." Do people think fear is the only reason to not want or like something? I can't stand peas, but not because I'm afraid of them. I have to wonder if this is a form of schoolyard taunting (what's wrong? Why won't you jump off the roof....you chicken?) that some people never grew out of.
@@lamplighter1968 What's the point of being a lifelong boyfriend? The bf/gf stage is not meant to be permanent. Either you're ready to commit to marriage or you're not. If you're not, get out of the relationship. You're trying to deflect by putting "homophobe" in there.
We don't celebrate adults who pretend to be teenagers or babies, because those are stages of life you progress through.
If you've been in a bf/gf relationship for 2-5 years, you need to either take the next step or get out of it, because you're wasting both people's time.
@@grondhero Prenups are often thrown out of court theses days, she only has to say ,she signed it under duress. Ya.... that's messed up.
My ex gave me an ultimatum about the date of the wedding, pick a date by April or it's over. Guess who's an April fool with the wrong punchline.
If she gives me an ultimatum I’ll give her an answer right away .. that answer will be me leaving her very quickly
I was a lawyer for over 30 years, I always advised against ultimatums, even if they “work” it’s a loss, because down the road the victim of the ultimatum WILL react
"HIRE ME OR I'M OUTTA HERE!!!"---Not exactly the best interview strategy.
She's going to get a job somewhere. She can't be interviewing for 10 years with a scared employer.
@@grondhero She shouldn't be hanging around for 10 years. By that time she is past her prime for sure.
@@wendigos_eat_people7177 Just because she _shouldn't_ doesn't mean she _doesn't._ IF everyone did what was logical, we'd be Vulcans and not have so much stress in the world.
@@grondhero But what does that piece of paper "bring to the table"?
I would tell her, "the dog isn't going anywhere".
I would make that the main issue.
Totally crushing her ego by putting the dog above her.
They are called "man's best friend" for reason.
Just say, “I’m gonna miss that dog!”
A dog is more loyal. A dog loves you unconditionally. And more importantly, your dog WILL NOT give you an ultimatum.
Every day has its dog
I was literally told by my girlfriend ( she was at the time living at my house)
" It's me or the dog" ( four year old Dalmatian) I gave her 24 hours to pack her stuff and leave.......she couldn't believe the dog came first.
So, yeah.....she got the boot ;)
@@andrewdoran4572 and you DIDNT get the leash
1:15 - 85% of proposals are ultimatums? Funny how that is close in value to the percentage of divorces initiated by women.
Funny how that works, huh?
Both you and her are just making numbers up based off your feelings.
_"Who Files for Divorce More in the U.S. A study by Michael Rosenfeld from Stanford University analyzes data from the How Couples Meet and Stay Together (HCMST) survey, encompassing responses from a diverse sample of couples. The study concludes that approximately 69% of divorces are initiated by women."_ Jul 1, 2024
Fuck am ultimatum. Its over. Goodbye
If you move in together and his needs are being met, he probably won’t propose. And if you have a kid with him, you’re doomed.
Then you weren't good husband or father material to begin with. The bf/gf _stage_ isn't meant to be a lifestyle. Just like being a toddler or teenager, you need to grow out of it. You need love, then marriage, then a child. If you simply settle in to a daily routine, you're too scared or too immature to move on. This gives her an out to look for husband material and you can be on your own, since you mentally were anyway.
@@jantwede2959 Not necessarily doomed, many have been together for life and have kids and have never tied the knot. Like Goldie Han & Kurt Russel. If he is getting his needs met and is happy then he has no reason to leave her, but ,and I mean but. The woman has to remain a respectable, caring woman of good character to keep him. So no using marriage in order to become a power hungry tyrant. or resource hungry fiend. If she does the right thing then she has very little to worry about.
Also many men are avoiding marriage theses days for good reasons and that doesn't stop women from dating them long term. It just means she doesn't have the paper that allows her to r*pe her partner if she gets bored or isn't happy. She still does get CS if she had a child with him though.
Also stop using the rare worse case scenarios. That is such a woman move. Most of the time it used to gain power and control over men in some fashion. If guys were to do the same thing ,then woman would have Kittens for sure. If we reversed the sexes.
If she gives you an ultimatum about marrying her, she won’t stop with that one. Run.
My cousin was with a girl who's personality was filled with drama and she tried to pressure him into marriage, he walked away. Two years later he married her younger sister who was completely different from her and treats him like a king. Evidently the ex is still pissed about how things turned out...😂
That’s a King!😊
@@tuberdave1 He told me it makes for interesting family get togethers. 😅
Sounds like a soap opera!🤣
Been there done that. I didn’t buy the ultimatum and she left. Then she blamed me for not trying to save the relationship. It’s been 5 plus years and I’m doing great. More money and less drama. Couldn’t be happier
Some platinum rules to live by. Stay away from women who: Have fingernail talons. Have brushed up eyebrows. Have butterfly sized eyelashes. While speaking, use the hand gesture in which they extend all 5 fingers and touch them all at the thumb.
Hey. My 19 year old daughter has outrageous eyelashes snd a full set of those raptor claws. I am hoping she will grow out of that silly phase soon.
Extend all 5 fingers converging at the thumb? Like a chicken beak?
@@chrisfallis5851she’s a 304
Add tattoos
Add tattoos, unnatural hair color, ( especially short) nose rings. uses words like misogyny, patriarchy, insecurity , intimidated by x,y,z
Hog rings are nasty.
But useful. That's what you clip the leash onto.
@@Remianen 🤣
So are other mens children, tats, fingernail claws, crazy hair and gattling gobs.
Her: "85% if not higher of marriage proposals are because of ultimatums... "
Me: Ah, so that could be one of the reasons why Marriage is at a all-time low...
Also probably accounting for a good part of the +/- 50% divorce rate.
Ultimatums are a death knell to any relationship.
Thats the technical point of an Ultimatum to either Marry or for you to leave.
Just pack your bag and go, plenty of fish in the sea.
Back in 1995 I was living with a woman with 2 boys. She got mad at me for spending 2 weekends a month with my daughter. She gave me a Choice, "It's either me and my Boys or Nothing" I Didn't even reply back. I simply got up, packed me stuff and left. She was surprised, I said as I was walking out the door, "What you you do if I said the same to you about you and your boys." Her reply, "My Boys live with me, that's different." Closed the door and was stalked for 2 years afterwards, she was begging to take her back.
Wife tried to pull that on me. I asked her if she needed help packing. She never tried that BS again!
Ultimatums are given to enemies, not loved ones.
Good point.
In my boomer generation , the ultimatum was”Sh!t, or get off the pot”. Many women lived to regret it.
Ladies, if you give your man a proposal ultimatum, you LOST. Period.
If he refuses, relationship over.
If he accepts, you lose respect for him, relationship decays until it ceases to exist.
Either way, you end up alone.
Hey Techno, Good to see you here.
@@wendigos_eat_people7177
Technocrat
If every man grew a pair and said get out when this happened. The country would flood from all the crying.
Yeah, do it on the lawn and it saves on water.
If men were more confident in their relationships and did dealt with this in a similar fashion. If she doesn't have serious red flags except this one just ask her how fast she wants to pack her bags and do so. Tell her she needs to actually work on herself as a person and grow up.
I don't care how much they moan on TikTok, in fact the best thing to do is to do the same and catch them and confidently tell them that you just dropped all your plans for her.
(Better yet don't date anyone that has a TikTok, and if they do, check it out, see if they have red flags
@@EndoftheBeginning17 k
Don't let them tell you what to do. If you do that, they will never stop. They know you'll always back down.
I wish I'd kind of known this earlier. After watching this video I realized that I was silent treatmented into getting engaged. And through our whole relationship, she has used ultimatums to control our relationship. Having grown up in a religious home where divorce was not an option, I've pretty much SIMPed to a bunch of disrespectful stuff. It's pretty sad really. 40 years of issues. But I'm finally getting more red pilled and standing up to her. I no longer fear getting divorced. I finally have more clarity as to what's been transpiring over the past decades.
My husband & I were married 31 years before his death. And in the way I see these women acting I see nothing good ahead for them. We talked things through, we worked together to build a good, happy life. I respected & loved my husband, I would never play games with that man. We enjoyed our marriage, our children & our life. I don't know what you can accomplish with all this game playing. Certainly not peace & one of my desires was to build a comfortable & peaceful home for our family to be able to retreat to @ the end of the day. We had that & with my children grown & successful I still have that peace & comfort that I think all folks need. Good luck ladies with this terrible idea that some fool thought up & you bought into.
I have a friend who's first marriage was due to an ultimatum. It ended poorly. Women love ultimatums and it's the worst thing ever.
The women who gave men ultimatums for marriages are the same ones who are in the marriages for the money.
And first ones to divorce
Ultimatums are simple to deal with.
They say do this or that will happen.
I always go with that.
If my wife gives me an ultimatum, Im done.
I've literally broken up with every woman who has ever given me an ultimatum . That crap doesn't fly with me . I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do , and you can not manipulate , whine, scream , throw fits ,or cry me into doing it .
The real question is: why are you scared to commit? If multiple women are giving you ultimatums, it sounds like _you're_ the problem. You're definitely showing us you're selfish. Are you not mature enough to be a husband and father? Are you scared of the commitment and responsibilities? Are you scared of divorce and don't know what a prenup is?
@@grondhero Most women are the same today, they have an automatic in group preference the scientist call it. Normal's call it the hive mind or the female borg collective. Once it gets corrupted by feminism, social media, politics, and all sorts of Hollywood tv shows and movies and Disney then it's only a matter of time when the " majority" of women become to corrupt for marriage. The latest stats I read for women worthy of marriage and are single is only 2.5 % So the guy your attaching and and trying to humiliate is actually the wise one. He mention " whine, scream , throw fits ,or cry me into doing it" all those things are most of the time manipulation tactics used by women. So he understands women far better than you. You said he was selfish? I find women are more selfish by nature than men, but are better able to hide it more , and their ego's theses days is far worse than any mans. Also selfish is so stupid to use on him. NO woman is entitled to marriage or even a relationship, same for the man. So...... no man can ever be considered selfish for avoiding marriage, no woman has any rights to him. It's her job to find some one willing to marry her ,and leave a guy if necessary when his hints are rock solid.
Best to be alone for the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong ones! I think that modern women will find that ultimatums which is used to manipulate dosen't work on self respespecting men!
If you don't marry me , I'm leaving !
Don't let the door hit you on your way OUT
Heck, im a woman, and there is no way id give in to an ultimatum. Now im open to negotiation, but never an ultimatum.
i and this girl i liked lived in the same building. one day i"m down in the lobby she shows up and says i have other options .this guy popped up out of no where stood up and said yeah me. so i got out of the way and let her have her option. i"m a good man not a nice guy.
Nice to know that someone else knows the difference between good men and nice men. Also, if a girl ever says she has options, it because she has already explored them; leave her in an instant and let that option deal with her (and don't take her back in weeks when the option dumped her)
General principle in life, all ultimatums should be stamped rejected without opening the envelope.
Ultimatum’s have CONSEQUENCES. Usually one you won’t like.
Men, in general, do not deal with ultimatums well, most take it as the threat it is.
If it is OK to live with a man and have children with a man without marriage, what is the rush to get married?
If they are married, she can leave and take half is assets.
@@Sinnfei , good reminder. I always forget the Machiavellian minds of some women.
@@lkreinmiller-authorNever forget: marriage is a contract between the husband, the wife, and the state.
@@Farce13 , marriage used to happen because two people wanted to live together and probably have children. Now living together and having children doesn’t seem to require marriage, so why the push by woman to get married? The state being involved doesn’t change the question.
Also, I often wonder about these long-term living arrangements and the possible connection to common-law marriage.
@@lkreinmiller-author the state is the one who enforces the terms of the contract in the event that split. That didn't used to be the case
For Over 40 years.... Everytime a female gave me an ultimatum of Any Kind ...... that's the last time they had the Privilege....of talking to me ........
if you want, you can use this.
My sister was going out with her bf for about 6+ years, rest of the family didnt really like him, but dealt with him since she loved him. after being together for so long, she told him practically gave him an ultimatum about a proposal. he didnt, so they separated. my sister started going out with someone else, her ex then got jealous and then pretty much proposed to her, she took him back and accepted. eventho the new bf she was starting to like. they get married, have a kid, my nephew, and then all the more problems kept coming. only after about 4 years of marriage, they get divorced. he got into drugs and alcohol, and then she took more from him.
It is not bad for a woman to say they want to be married, and when she wants to get married, but not an ultimatum. My wife’s friends asked when I was going to ask her to marry her, but I asked them if they didn’t think I had a plan.
"ultimatums are a real thing" and they have the opposite effect.
Ultimatums are like taking a swing at somebody. You better make it count.
Never sign the birth certificate never sign the adoption papers for another mans child. Never allow a single women or single mom with child to move into the home you own. Do not get 'engaged' to a women that told you she would not sign a prenup before the marraige.
most women telling her to leave her man do"t even have a man.women keeping women single
If women want to get married, BE a person that your man wants to marry. That gets him to have the "damn I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person, and it makes me physically sick to think that might not happen" moment.
We have luggage in our closet. She is free to use it if she no longer feels a commitment towards me. Do not give ultimatum!
I fell for an ultimatum. Worst decision I could have made. It is all about control and that type of narcissism will cost you your house, your kids, and your money.
Ultimatum equals the end of the relationship. If you have to force him it won't work.
1- if you HAVE to give ultimatums to TRY and get a guy to marry you THEN YOU’ve already lost.
2- you give an ultimatum BEFORE you give him everything you have to offer not after.
Do NOT give him an ultimatum. Rather if you feel rushed to get married try proposing to him.
My proposal was completely by surprise. My husband planned a beach trip for the both of us, thats all I knew. He propsed at sunset on the beach with just the two of us. It was only 6mo into our relationship and were still happy together 13 years later. NONE of my friends gave their husbands ultimatums and they are all happily married. This is INSANE advice ladies please from an actually married woman, don't do this.
0:45
Ultimatums are a real thing. And they are a bad thing.
4:25
22 is too young.
7:10
Does that make sense? Nope. I did not understand a word.
10:50
A dream wife!!!
When I did date had only two give me a ultimatum to propose or else. One was when I was 26 years old we had dated casually. Nothing special coffee dates, movies, and dinner. We had been dating for a month like that but I started noticing she had started getting sick alot and then she started hinting we should be more serious and having mood swings. I realized she acted like she was pregnant. Now understand we never were intimate. My suspicion of her state made me pull back from her. Her demand for marriage just made me cut her off. Year later she is a single mom. Glad I trusted my gut.
My baby mama tried this with me to get married…I would say ok and then do nothing to advance closer to marriage
WTF is wrong with you? Why are you scared? You're happy enough having sex with her. You had a kid with her (irresponsibly, outside of marriage) and now you won't marry her? Why? You're irresponsible and setting your kid up for failure, possibly prison. (85% of people in prison grow up without a father.)
Man up. Either get married or get out.
"I feel like you should have married me" Red Lights flashing. Women would be outraged if the same tactic was used on them.
My wife gave me the ultimatum to step up and lead her. I did and understand it now. 25 years and still going.
5:44 I see he’s holding a kid (his) most likely, so she gave him the highest honor a woman can give a man without having the security of being his wife FIRST? Whose fault is that……..NOT his. She played the game backwards & now she has to suffer the results of it…..
Ultimatum makes it unreal, games over bye
How come when a man says sign a prenuptial agreement or I won't marry you they say it's duress and throw the agreement out but if a woman says marry me or I will dump you then that's not duress? A man who gets married under an ultimatum should have a right to get an annulment.
Men, walk away if anyone gives you ultimatums in relationships. There are no winners in forcing men (or women) to do something they don’t want to do.
To be fair, it is hardly unreasonable to tell a person stop wasting my time.
But then the traditional ultimatum was no sex before marriage.im going to be a virgin bride. Women seem to have forgotten the classic method of getting men to decide. Congrats ladies on giving up your whole card.
$3,500 per month in Nebraska?! Must be a hell of a house. Or... maybe we're just living in Biden's America.
ANY self-respecting man will bounce if given an ultimatum
Ladies, if you’ve been dating a man over 18 months and he says nothing about marriage, you are a placeholder.
Or the man just refuses to get married under the gynocentric govt.
Ultimatums, a sure end to any relationship, married or not.
1 year is NOT NEARLY long enough for persons to marry. And 22 is way too young to get married.
Correct, at that age they have no clue who they are, and for sure they have NO idea who she is.
Her asking the internet for advice is another reason why she's not mature.
Looks like there’s a child involved.
Maybe more than one child by the sounds of her protests.
*We have a standing rule here: The first ultimatum is the LAST ultimatum! Words to live by!*
I completely disagree with the video. Kevin Samuels told women to not waste their time on a man who won’t marry them if they’re looking to get married.
Yes, but he also said that they need to be realistic as you can't "force" someone to propose... Some of these 304 are trying to get married within a year of dating 🤣 and are straight desperate because even the average guys are rejecting them
So don't. Leave. There's the door.
@@HeliosX28 true. They can leave if the ultimatum doesn’t work.
And most men disagree with Kevin on this very point.
There are differing reasons for an ultimatum. Trying to extract acquiescence to a legal contract, marriage, is not one anyone should try or accept. That said common law arrangements are equally a legal situation that should not be entered into without complete understanding of all the legal ramifications that can ensue. Most lawyers will give advice to never cohabitate.
10:16 She doesn’t pay any bills and has no concept of money. She’s with a beta provider. How do I know? She says she spends $500 per month on groceries for a family of 5. It’s 2024 - there’s no way a family of 5 is eating for only $500 per month.
Ummm I dont think she's lying. We have a family of 5 with 15, 13, 11 year olds and all play sports. They eat us out the house and our bill is about 600-700 a month. We live in the Houston area where things are much higher than anywhere in Nebraska. Plus her kids are much younger. So $500 isnt a stretch.
Ultimatums only carry weight from a position of power... A man that lets his girl have that kind of power on him shouldn't be calling himself a man.
Why doesn't she propose if she's ready for marriage? Why does he have to do it?
Because they find it demeaning for a woman to propose.
Any woman who wants to be married shouldn't be having pre-marital sex.
Brothers, don't go along with an ultimatum. It will ruin your relationship.
I married my girlfriend on an ultimatum.
That set the tone.
Every 6 months or so for the next 14 years she would say she was leaving to get her way. I always caved and asked her to stay.
I was miserable.
She cheated.
Why wouldn't she? She had all the power.
I finally woke up and left myself.
I've had my best life ever since.
I had a similar situation happen. My then GF let herself into my apartment while I was watching a hockey game. She stood between me and the TV blocking my view and said "So, are you going to marry me or what?". I said "Or what". I never saw her again. Way too many ultimatums in that relationship. Dodged a bullet there, me thinks.
@@detch01 she should have been awarded a game misconduct.
We Guy's are the Prize!!!
I have told friends, my wife, family, etc - I will always choose against an ultimatum, so just don't.
Some of the worst possible emotional blackmail, leave people who present relationship ultimatums
Ultimatum, just point at the door and stay quiet man. If she gets it good, if not is a red flag.
Let one of them try and give me an ultimatum, that will be our last conversation...
Ultimatum..If you give in..You have already lost.
Women control 99% of the relationship…except commitment. That’s the man’s choice. Always been that way, always will.
I've had this situation with an entitled, toxic & narcisstic so called "gf" into april this year - i simply told her - i don't negotiate with terrorists. Then hang up the call.
Notice how women get in a hurry only after getting ran through.
If you give an ultimatum, you best be ready if it does not go your way
Give me ultimatum and I will be out the door before she can say or else
They give a ultimatum to get the marriage proposal just so she can get 50% or more when she files for divorce??????? NO THANKS HARD PASS.
Wow, it’s almost as if being a modest & pure woman who waits until marriage, would be the better choice.
If you’re giving everything up, including having children with no ring, a man has absolutely zero reason to marry you, there’s literally nothing else he has to gain from that, what he can lose though, EVERYTHING.
But yall keep preaching women empowerment & such.
We’ll check back in another 20 years & see how things are.