Relationship & Trauma Coach Sadia Khan on Untempered Podcast: WE NEED TO KNOW THIS ABOUT TRAUMA!
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2023
- Sadia sits down with Naila in a one on one private session to discuss childhood trauma. What she reveals is astounding .
Host's Instagram @naila
Sadia Khan: @sadiapsychology
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Follow out IG @itsuntempered to get updates and sneak peaks of new episodes!! Part 2 maybe? I think Sadia needs to come back
Bring her back! 🫶🏼
YES PLEASE! Listening again today!
yessssssssss , this podcast is a viral sound on tiktok so its a must
Yes,please! Not on ig but looking forward to part 2🎉❤😊
Having a parent watching you in pain and not offering a hand is a trauma , I felt this 💔
Yes that was my entire childhood. Today at 60 I am minimal contact with my Narc family and I am healing. They ruined my life.
same my dad was a dick. i told him what happened at school one day and at pick up all he did was flirt with my preschool teacher after. He told me he handled it and assumed because I was 4 I didn't know what he actually did.
I felt that deep in my heart too my heart just sank
Or not being allowed to acknowledge any pain other than physical pain and even that was to be essentially ignored until it goes away.
@@truwin37 maybe your kid doesn't trust you with their feelings? I'm not there so idk. Just something to consider.
As a man I don’t see many women on these podcasts admitting her faults, trauma and being accountable. Very courageous!
You’ll always see what you want to see just like everyone else.
I see so many podcasts on both women and men having important discussions like never before and it’s actually exciting to see & to learn from but It’s hard enough for us to see and acknowledge our own issues (we all have them) and even harder to change our behavior like for us to worry about who’s keeping up. Just because we are doing the work doesn’t mean others are ready also. Many discussions are happening and opening the doors for many things to improve even if it gets messy in the beginning, it’s happening! Be excited! Don’t fall for the victim mentality, or the need for validation, it will stop you from seeing the big picture & even discourage you from working on yourself.
❤ yes. I see a lot of blaming and no accountability also. I think the women who are admitting and accepting their faults are not posting but in therapy and working on themselves. ❤
Nobody wants to admit faults because society pusjes us to be perfect, especially women. Flawless.
That is unfortunate but it also comes from not being aware and/or being in denial. This is how healing begins. However it is a long process but you are right.
No one Amrit their faults. It’s not gendered
I think this was a therapy session for everyone. Thank you so, so, so much for this.
This is MIND BLOWING.
I went through almost the same childhood.
Please have her again someday and talk about those who are still struggling to get into a safe relationship. Because they they believe they are hard to love and always sabotage their relationships in the first place.
I got together with a beautiful soul and things were great for a while until she out of nowhere broke up with me. I know after seeing this video and also other videos that she is scared and is self sabotaging. We are still talking and seeing eachother but not as a couple anymore. I really love this woman with all my heart and I feel that she really loves me with all her heart aswell but she just can’t be in a relationship because it’s scary. We had an argument a couple days back and we are currently in no contact (this was her choice to stay in no contact). I am holding myself from texting her or calling her. I don’t know what to do in this situation.
I want to make this work and I know she has issues and so do I. We are all human. My friends and family tell me I should leave her and be at peace because she is broken but I don’t see it that way.
But it sometimes feels like the more I love her the more she gets scared. But then she comes back and loves me hard for a while to then back away again.
I feel so lost I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for posting I just needed to write this and hopefully someone can help me understand her better.
@@samizadi6379 I my opinion you both need to go for individual therapy and then couple therapy, If you both genuinely want to get along. please do that. It will definitely help you.
@@samizadi6379 Im so sorry to hear that I am going through a similar situation but in my situation I am the one who constantly breaking up 💔
Could she be your twin flame
You aren't alone. ❤
@@HHHondaHHHHey! Yeah she keeps trying to end it but she can’t. She just said on facetime that she has never felt this love before and she is being serious. Every person she left before me she did it easily but with me it’s impossible.
What is your situation like? Why can’t you leave your partner/ex?
Sadia always delivers. Its always a pleasure to listen two well-spoken women, no interruptions, straight to the point. Love it!
This is the example of a high value woman who see sense rather than talk her mouth with air....
@@kjp88 lol, since when women +30 are high value?
@@elninokodak9995 do you really understand what a high value woman means?
@@kjp88 You can be a wise, grown woman, but it doesnt make you "high value" in the market. Men prioritize innocence, just because its so rare these days. All women are high value by default, the value just drops down as years pass by. No man needs a woman with a huge emotional baggage. I have 0 resentment towards women, i just tell you how it is. The truth is that most men are simps, therefore women have 0 problems landing a guy that would take care of them. - but in a long run it usually doenst satisfy those women/doesnt make them feel fullfilled
Kjp88 I don't think you know why what a high value woman is.
This was the most communicative, bonding, revealing and in the end healing of all Sadia's interviews I've ever watched. This woman is beyond exceptional. Sadia sees people. That's not skill. That's a gift.
She's extremely gifted and sees the macro view of why we often sabotage our love lives and is able to put in words our experiences.
Single mom here with a traumatic childhood. My mother was traumatized and passed it down onto me. She used to tie me to the lemon tree in the front yard when I was two years old because she was terrified to hold me in fear, she would hurt me somehow. I just went into survival mode and raised my son for the last 17 years and never focused on myself, only him and made sure he had everything he needs! I got us Disneyland passes when he was little, and we went almost daily. One day he looked up at me and said, "mommy, can we just go home?" I realized in that very moment that I didn't want to go home. Home for me was a place of fear growing up, a place I spent years trying to get out away from. I knew at that moment I needed to stop running. The pandemic lockdown forced me to stay home for two years and in those years, I created a beautiful, safe environment for the both of us. Today, I love being home and I am now becoming healthy, focusing on myself again...thank you both for this podcast and video!
We need Sadia to be a recurring guest for a series on this podcast with Naila. This has been beautiful, enlightening, informative, all of the good things about learning about the Self and healing.
❤
Simp…. Lol that is such a weak man’s comment …
Couldn't agree more
I've literally been crying through the whole thing. This is so healing, thank you for speaking about it. I've experienced similar situations and was always ashamed of sharing this with people as what you mostly hear from guys is "these are damaged people, stay away". So so healing. Thank you.
You know people don't understand and we can't expect them to.
As a married woman myself they best advice I can give is until you got a ring on the finger don't talk about the abuse. Just talk about the good parts in life and ask them questions about their life. That way they get to know you because we are not just identified by our trama.
Then later when they are invested you can open up. If they ask you can say you weren't ready to share this with anyone. Only people close to you know about this.
Most people will not understand how evil parents are or if you hate your parents like I do. Even with counciling I still resent them as well as they embarrass me. I don't have them in my life and pray they die soon because I don't ever want to deal with them again. And if anyone judges me about how I feel I say FU you were not tortured by your own blood and don't know shit.
I am the good person not them for getting the H away from them and not treating people as poorly as they do!
I hate people that think it's the person's reactions that are bad well then you don't like my reaction then don't piss me off. Simple!
Can really relate. Totally agree with being there for young kids & empathing emotions.
@michellemyers8583 you dont think a guy is going to feel manipulated or lied to by you waiting till hes invested?
Me too I’m over here balling..
I’m almost thinking how they mentioned the medicine.
I cried a lot at the beginning… then I wiped my tears, opened my notepad and started taking notes 📝 thank you so much for this conversation 🙏🏿
This feedback is why I love having these conversations. Thank you so much for listening
@@UntemperedPodcast thanks for creating the environnement for these conversations to happen 🙏🏿I’m in a my thirties too and I wished I had listen to a conversation like this before 🙏🏿I would have helped me a lot 🙏🏿Thanks again for everything you got a new subscriber ♥️🙏🏿
same omgg
Yep same here!
I liked it when she said “we live in a world where entertainment rather than improvement is what’s we’re focusing on “ ,, so deep ✨
Childhood trauma is the main reason what we faced in our adulthood
Sadia described my life and psychology so accurately in the first 16 minutes... wow. I'm working so hard on healing.
The hosts childhood was my exact childhood, and im only now realizing how many of my friendships and false start relationships were ended because of my avoidance. I mistook so many trivial situations as confirmation that the person didnt actually like me. The rough part of that is I caused my own anguish. Had I just known I was misreading other peoples actions, I wouldnt have cut so many people off and I wouldnt be feeling so alone. I dont blame my parents because Im older now and know they were just flawed and didn't know the impact of their actions (therapy was not a thing back then), but Im not sure why I can't grant the same empathy for myself. I too was doing the best I knew how. Theres this thing I heard a psychilogist say once but its something like 10% of our brain is conscious thinking, while the other 90% is subconscious. I dont know if thats actually true, but what i do know is theres a part of me im not able to tap into that doesnt believe people will love me no matter how much i try to fight this belief
Maybe it’s not about fighting the belief but accepting it. Like: of course I’d feel this way given my background but what if that belief isn’t true? What if I’m easy to love? What if I can let people love me? What if it’s safe for me to be loved? What if it’s ok to forgive myself? What if it’s ok to open my heart just a little? What if? (Affirmations in question form tend to be easier for the subconscious because the brain goes looking for an answer rather than fighting something). I say this as someone who’s struggled with the same issue so I’ll be repeating those myself 😅 You can also do it with EFT tapping and that can help too. We all did the best we could! There are wonderful people in our future too! 💓🌟
I’m right there with you and it’s a constant struggle to work hard towards change and healing. Never stop working on it, sending you love. I’m right there too
You are enough, you are lovable, you belong! Love yourself to the core. It’s a process , God loves you!🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍🥰
I'm With you and still now coping with it and this is enlightening. It's Just for me it's difficult to trust and be in a relationship. I feel peace when I'm alone and single.
Thank you for this, wow👏👏
Wow this really opened my eyes to how much childhood trauma I actually have, I'll be working to fix that. I'm so grateful for this podcast for making me aware
I wish I could get a therapy session with Sadia.I need her in my life right now! My boyfriend of 4yrs woke up and went to work one morning last month, and just never came home. There was no discussion, there was no argument… In fact, he was intimate with me the morning that he left. We had just signed a lease together in this apartment, and we have been living together already for over two years. I found out that he quit his job and he moved to another state. I am devastated. I was completely blindsided by this. And it brings back all of the trauma and abuse issues from my childhood. I don’t know what to do to make this pain go away . 😞
I feel so bad I'm so sorry I hope you can heal and figure out how to move on, I think god planed for you to hear this podcast so it may help you.
Thank you 🤗 @@hammernail8232
Im sending love n light your way......I'm hoping u are healing ❤️
I am. Thank you ☺ @@zsuzsibumgarner2522
Don’t worry honey the best thing to do is to choose yourself , happy and focuse on work ❤
I felt like Sadia was talking to me personally. This hit me right where I live. Amazing interview / therapy session.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, I am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, I love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
But why did they leave? Women tell men over and over and OVER until finally they are done.
Wow really love how sadia described childhood trauma and self soothing. Neglect causes trauma. This is such good content! And being a tramatised child I found this so helpful. I've been learning that you attract what your familiar to but what can you do to overcome this and end these patterns, I have abandonment issues too but have become as independent as I can and think I may also be avoidant, how can I make myself feel more safe and secure?
Self love affirmations.
So much hitting home! Thank you 4 making this episode!
This video just changed my entire life. Thank you for blessing me.
Magnificent talk, magnificent studio/sound/picture. A very promising channel is born! Congrats! We love Sadia!
So glad I came across this Chanel. I’m learning more and more. Thank you Sadia
Thank you so much for this conversation. Everything makes so much more sense.
Just found your channel and I couldn’t have related any better. Thank you for being very open 💖
I now watch a sadia post almost daily to help with my innner work . She is so incredibly experienced in emotional and social psychology. It has been and does give me greater understanding and so much more hope so thanks ❤
Wow! Thank you so much for being so true to yourself and authentic - best podcast/interview yet with Sadia. Amazing host! Xx
So happy the algorithm brought this to me and that I clicked on it. This is a beautifully insightful and helpful conversation.
Wow this podcast really hit home in every way! Thank you so much.
Soothing is a real thing... I love what you said about anxious people. He trusts you are there so he doesn't call tons and we take it as abandonment..... "trust the process". I love that! Thanks so much for the clarity. I feel I understand my reactions when this happens to me.
I appreciate how honest you were. I really loved this. I think many people need to hear talks like this.
Excellent content! It really helped me go deep inside of me and literally look in a mirror of what I've gone thru without even knowing where it comes from
I got here to learn about my trauma responses, and as a new mom i have learn so much more! Wow. Thank you ladies for this! Fist time ive heard both of you.
As referenced, there’s sooo much power in vulnerability! Thank you ladies for this intellectual, emotional content gem! ❤
This is what i needed today, thank you for this conversation
Thank you soooo much for discussing this topic. This helped in so many ways. Thank you again to both of you ladies. Hope to see more of this content 💕
I can relate so much! It takes a lot of courage to address that inner child that needs our attention in order to grow and be open to authentic love. Thanks for sharing!!
This is so painful to watch or hear, and to feel they know what they are talking about. And yet, it is so important to understand, in order to maybe someday start or even finish the healing.
What a great, heartful conversation!
❤
This was just so beautiful and healing and eye opening! I really needed this.
This is the best thing I have seen in a long time. So simply described, all just makes so sense. Love it!
This is one of the best talks I've ever heard as an anxiously attached woman. Thank you!
It’s great to see a host be willing to share so personally and in that process help each of us who are watching this interview to reflect on our own insecurities. Thank you for sharing! And may God bless you and your family.
CHILD!!!! When I tell you I feel this podcast so much! Whew Sadia is so healing!!! Thank you to the lady she is talking to!!! Ugh many blessings and healing to you! You are a great mother and wife and you are worthy!
I’m so grateful to learn from Sadia in this season of my life. Thank you!!
I couldn’t thank you enough for this podcast I was crying the whole way through it.
Thank you both for your work and your brave vulnerability ❤
This is so important for EVERYBODY to hear!!
Really hope this conversation will be continued💕
Set healthy boundaries, for oneself and become aware of the people who will Respect & Love one for been themself.
Hell they might even apologize if they accidentally cross the line.
So, it is very important to clear;y communicate ones needs and then the lines do not become blurred.
Triggers : Save One Self from quickly finding one self crossing into the more dangerous territory of getting burned out.
This even includes the fact one could feel they are been taken advantage of and so neglect own needs.
Tips on How to Communicate Boundaries ...
( Ten as follows)
1. Time Boundary “I can only stay for an hour” or “If you’re going to be late, please let me know ahead of time.”
2. Energy Boundary “I don’t have the energy to help you with [their request] right now, but maybe [this resource] can help.”
3. Emotional Dumping “I understand you’re having a hard time and I want to be there for you,
but I don’t have the emotional capacity to listen right now.”
4. Personal Space Boundary “It makes me feel uncomfortable when you [touch or action].
If you can’t respect my space, I’ll have to leave.”
5, Conversational Boundary “This is not a topic I’m willing to discuss right now.”
6. Comment Boundary “I don’t find those types of comments funny.”
7. Mental Boundary “I understand we see things differently and I respect your opinion,
but please don’t force it on me.”
8. Material Boundary “Please ask me first before borrowing my [possession]”
or “I would appreciate it if you didn’t touch my [material thing].”
9. Social Media Boundary “I don’t feel comfortable with you posting that on Instagram.”
10. Reiterate and Uphold the Boundaries
...
Thank you for these sample scripts, big help. 😇
Omg within the first 5 minutes I felt like this was my story !!!!!! Thabk you a million for this so so insightful ❤
I loved this one, it was so educational, please bring her back again
This interview answered so many personal questions I had for myself. I am so grateful for you women. Thank you for giving me closure & knowledge.❤
I am truly grateful for this. Really unpacked most of my traumas! I will sure work on myself!
Thank you so much for this video. Just the other day I watched a video on how almost all the homeless people at skid row downtown LA have childhood trauma and just thinking how important this topic is. Childhood trauma doesn’t get talked about enough considering how much it truly impacts our lives. So much of what was discussed in this video was eye opening for me. I have a lot to work on yet still happy how far I’ve come despite the horrible trauma I’ve experienced. Praying for all who are hurt and suffering❤️
This conversation is like a therapy to me. Deeply thankful for your effort you put in this podcast and sharing the experience.
the world needs more podcasts like this. Thank you Nalia for initiating this topic and inviting Sadia as guest. She is a beautiful smart women, very well-spoken, interpret every single point clearly and wholeheartedly
OH MY GOD. I needed this conversation. Thank you so so much for your truth and vulnerability Naila and Sadia for your unbelievable wisdom.
This is so deep and beautiful! Thank you both so much!!!❤️❤️❤️🙏🥰💐
Such a valuable conversation, I wish I could have heard it 20 years ago.
I love this! Thank you both for the amazing podcast, it definitely hit home!
Amazing conversations. Really great! Thank you to both of you ladies.
This vulnerable conversation between the therapist and you is amazing! Like … “ I am normal “
This is so insightful. Makes me love my parents more because of the way they loved me. How lucky I was and am. I know how to do right by my own children. And understand the issues of people around me more.
I love what sadia said about seeing ppl love your child as a reflection of love for you. That is such a positive perspective.
Wow just wow. This was absolutely so powerful, so overwhelming, I went through so many feeling during this podcast its unbelievable. I truly needed this. Thank you so much, means so much to me that you've used your platform for such a tough topic. Absolutely groundbreaking.
THANK YOU 🙏🏼
This was probably the 1st podcast I’ve watched in full in a long time. Was so good!
This woman is utterly amazing and she’s definitely my cup of tea 🍵 🫖
Simply amazing ladies!!
We need more of this content.
What an episode ❤ This really spoke to me in ways I didn't even know it would. Thank you both, specially to Naila for sharing and being so vulnerable
I truly love this excellent discussion and simplified explanation about trauma. It is so healing. Sadia is an excellent highly educated expert. Thank you.
I am so grateful to have found your podcast. Gratitude to Naila and Sadia. LOve Tasneem
So grateful to hear these two powerful women speak today, thank you for blessing us with your minds 🤍🤍🤍
Yours and Sadia’s candor makes this podcast episode! As someone who’s lived the nightmare of CPTSD and trauma bonding as an insecurely attached person, finding authorities who speak from the “ I” position is critical to building trust -Sadia is amazing and so are you! Love you two brilliant beauties! ❤❤❤
I recently found Sadia and IT have been amazing conversations every single time. This is my favorite interview so far. Keep spreading the love Sadia!
try richard cooper the unplugged alpha. Trauma is an excuse
How did you find her??
This is so human and beautiful! I love the therapist relating, respecting the openness of the host❤. I have had no childhood trauma still am a patience tester 😅. This helped me too 😊
Wow, parts of this conversation spoke directly to my soul. Thank you both for sharing your vulnerability and wisdom x
Sincerely speaking both girls remind me of my childhood.
Thank God for Sadia and thank you Sadia for your courage to speak on these matters despite the current attitude climate
A wonderful conversation! Loved it , thank you Girls💫!
I like when Sadia says Inshalah, it make me smile ❤
Honestly your vulnerability gave this podcast so much depth- you have a new subbie. Sadia Khan is absolutely amazing.
What an amazing conversation . Thank you !
I love this episode! Watching it already the 4th time since was posted! Thank you for talking of real challenges in relationships! There is sooo much content in "getting " the person but not so much on loving them every day whilst still being true to yourself and constant changes of life ! Thank you 😊🎉❤
What a amazing conversation. I am one of those people who always questions myself if I ever going to be ok or not!! Thank you for being so brave and courageous to share your struggles with others like me ❤
Wow I think this is the best interview/conversation I've seen with Sadia Khan. Very good!!
Its very difficult to use your own personal experiences, particularly with trauma, to get solid, helpful information across to an audience so thank you for allowing us to learn from this! This is top-tier content.
Thank you for speaking out about this. Great questions and answers
Having a parent that invalidates your trauma makes me question my sanity but this video is super informative and I’ll have to re watch it many times!
Thank you for bringing her on this podcast and thank you for this platform….. something I really need…. Time to heal 🙏🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽🤗
Thank you so much for this podcast! Please continue to do more!
This is so incredibly important and powerful! Thank you so much!
This was the first time I watch/listen to your podcast and this was an amazing episode. It hit ALOT of things. Thank you so much for doing this. Please have her back for part two!! I have officially subscribed to your channel.
This is my favorite podcast I’ve heard Sadlia on -- your authenticity set the stage for an insightful talk! Subscribed to hear more because of your authenticity! 🙏
Thank you so much. I hope you continue to follow and listen. Sending you love and gratitude.
Loved the advice for parents
Making your child feel full
First 3 years are essential and the importance of validating emotions
I love this!!!! "Invest in the first 3 years" definitely deserves a reel Sadia needs her own series. Thank You!!! Ill be 33 in a few says and my girl just turned 2 your story really resonated.
I’m 33 with a 2-year-old girl as well! These are the days! 💕
Amazing interviewer and resource person! Thank you so much for helping me understand me and others at a much deeper level.💕
This is such a great video. I've watched a fair bit of Sadia lately and this is far and beyond the best most interesting, informative podcast/interview I've seen with her. Well done to Naila you set the tone through your openness in the beginning. Well done to both of you. So good!
This was incredible stuff....a million thanks for this.
Amazing, beautiful and powerful podcast. The world is safe and real people are existed. We want more of you. Keep it up.
"They grew up with the knowledge that people who love them come back" wow that hit hard. As somone diagnosed with bpd, now 34 and in recovery, abandomnet issues have been a living nightmare, especially prior to diagnosis and self awareness of my disorder and thinking patterns. This really sheds light for me and think this is gonna help me. Thankyou!!!
This has been the most accurate and relevant conversation on childhood trauma I’ve heard and I am childhood trauma survivor and have done an intense recovery process for over 25 years. I went no contact from my parents and whole family of origin bc I was made the scapegoat and I just HAD HAD IT. I’ve never heard a word from anyone. I’m the oldest of 7 siblings and for some obtuse reason I’m the only one with any Emotional Intelligence , EQ. It’s been very disappointing and hurtful but I had to go no contact to have peace & not be the recipient of constant gaslighting. They are mostly very COVERT as everything is always lies and secrecy and with their gossip and alliances with each other it had become evil . They’re into murdering ur character and belittling nonstop. Ty so much for this podcast . I read alot about the family of origin and the dynamics of the toxic family environment. I also listen to many experts on this on their channels and this one really impressed me. I subbed today. God bless both of you. Your therapist here is very compassionate and has on point knowledge on this topic.
Thank you girls for this amazing conversation. You both are incredible!
I discovered Sadia Khan yesterday and I learnt a lot. She’s my hero
Sadia, you are absolutely AMAZING!!
Refreshing to see/listen to deeper conversations instead of romantic only type of conversations.