"If you love a human being, you value their bodies' characteristics w...a...y down the list of " 10 Things I Hate About You"....(I mean, right???) *Generational Gaslighting enters the group chat*
I relate. I’m 65 and just getting this after years of struggles and have been beating myself up for all those same years. It’s not an excuse, it’s an understanding and we aren’t alone. ❤
I like to think of it like scientific equipment. We wouldn't want our MRIs to NOT be sensitive. Researcher's had to intentionally design and pursue that sensitivity. Before we had sensitive tools, miners used canaries to warn them of a dangerous situation before it became deadly to the workers. Those with ADHD *are* focused, just not on what an external person has decided is important. Those of us with ADHD are focused on interpersonal connection. We are the canary in the mine, when there is something off interpersonally, we *know.* That makes us excellent group facilitators, consultants, mediators, etc. Teal Swan has a video about "self value," or "self worth," in which she explains how value is *always* contextual. We are not likely to have born into the precise context in which our individual skill sets will be cherished. Nor is that a place we are likely to stumble into on accident. We can gradually create a network where we belong, are cherished, where we can actually have fun being challenged in our skills without being overwhelmed with the nuances around the situation. ❤❤❤
Me too! Paige, work with animals and you will stumble into it 😘 all those sensitivities have a place as soon as you eliminate language from the equation. My work with dogs has made me aware of the superpower found in unspoken communication. As such one may also find the same self empowerment via group of people whom relate without anything needing to be said because like a dog they see the real you despite what you may say.
Dr. Jaska told me after being tested for it….you DEFINITELY have it, AND you’re NOT lazy. It was as though he had some insight into my life. My brother was diagnosed at age 7. I was diagnosed at almost 48!!!!!!
Omg.. the day my therapist looked me in the eye and said ‘you are not lazy’.. it felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted.. it was the first time I broke down crying.. after all the years of being told I was lazy no matter how hard I tried.. the relief was amazing
30 years old and yet undiagnosed, but I cry over almost all of these videos because here is someone who understands me even if we've never met. It just helps to know I'm not the only one out there.
I so agree. This gentleman has opened my eyes to want to really understand that the let downs have not been my fault and I too cry every time I watch this. Mainly because I want to shout it out from the rooftop and that is I have no diagnosis I won’t ever have as I don’t have the means to pay for it, I just know he is describing me I have neurodivergent tendencies so explains why I was put in all the shit grades at school and it explains why I always question, questions.
Thank you, I was diagnosed at 60. Ive been on antidepressants and antianxiety meds for decades. Spent my whole life hearing "If you'd just try harder" at literally everything. Thank you for validating us.
Im still getting this. Told my mom and my manager, who I thought would understand. My mom said “but you’re not retsrded”( her words). She thinks only low IQ hyperactive kids can have adhd. And manager said “you dont need meds you just need to pay attention”. Dont you think Ive tried, my entire life.. She has a grandson with autism so I expected better😢.
This just completely described me. I was (unofficially) diagnosed by my SIL, who is a dietician, when she came over for tea a few years ago, so then I went to doctor for a formal diagnosis; I was in my mid forties. It's taken from then until now to get medicine that makes it feel like i actually have some executive function. Just now listening to this I've realised my normally sky high anxiety has lessened. My house is the most orderly it has ever been, and I'm remembering things I need to. For years I tried to use less complex words as peiple always commented on it. I didn't do it to be obnoxious, or make people feel less than, I just like correct words to be used.
Yes I’ve always had a good grasp on vocabulary as well. The correct word will just come to me even if I’ve never used it before or am not completely sure of the exact definition. It’s weird, as though it comes to me out of thin air.
Same 👊💯 & well put. ❤ Since I've become more aware of myself and the adaptive behaviour I've been using.... I've worked on just being me. If people don't like it 🤷♀️
@@universaltruth2025 that's crazy! Me too! My Mum said even when I was very little I would use "grown up" words to describe things, and knew the correct context, even though I wasn't a reader.
@@hellybelle5 yes - and the thing with irony as well. It is such a reoccurring theme in my life. It can be light-hearted but it can often makes me cringe as well when the situations are awkward. Once I got a temp job working as an admin assistant for a large volunteer outdoor safety organisation. My job was to do data entry recording payments. Within the space of a few weeks a job opportunity came up working for a lottery organisation that supported volunteer and charitable organisations. They had recently changed the way they allocated their pool of funding to applicants and that pool had also significantly reduced. One of the long standing committee coordinators couldn’t deal with it and left, leaving the position free right at the critical point in the year. I somehow got the job. Long story short, it turned out the lottery was the largest single funder of that outdoor safety organisation. They relied on that funding to stay afloat. So it turned out I went from the temp data-entry position looking at their records, to deciding how much funding they their entire organisation should get for the year. 😳 Along with deciding on the allocation to a number of other similar quite large organisations. Now that was ironic. Occasionally the CE of the Outdoor Safety would come to the office for meetings and I would try to hide so he wouldn’t see it was me in charge of their funding. Luckily I somehow came up with a method of allocating the resources fairly in a way that most organisations were ok with. But that was surreal. I can’t help there is some unseen divine intervention going on at those times. Often putting me in reality awkward situations.
It is tragic. I am all the things he said. I have a huge vocabulary, I learn languages and solve puzzles easily, I definitely have a sense of irony, my imagination is well developed, and my ideas can be brilliant. However, my social skills are zero, I never found 'my people', and my life has been a non-stop chaotic disaster. I have just been diagnosed at the age of 67 and get a script for my medication in three days. Hopefully it will improve my life, however now I know to seek out others with this shared experience.
Your people is here. Please, if you are so kind, let us know how you are feeling with meds that are not antideps or anxiolytics. Exactly like in your case, it' s been a full life taking them and abhorring the effect. *So happy for you* 🖤
I was diagnosed at 64 and went on meds (off-label wellbutrin). Two years later, i can’t believe how wonderfully “settled” i feel now. For me, the meds didn’t “fix” ADHD, but they made me more aware and quieted the never-ending brainstorms so that i could effectively manage my behaviors rather than being tossed about by them. Good luck!
Greetings, Jane under a tree with a book, We, your people, are out here. I got my diagnosis of ADHD at 63. In the first year of meds, it's interesting and different. I'm learning how I think and what I like to do with my time and energy. I'm experimenting with exercise to find something I love enough to do daily and sorting out food allergies so I can devise a diet that meets my nutritional needs, gives me energy, and keeps me well. Playing with drawing and painting while listening to webinars helps me listen better. Also, learning how my brain functions means I can be compassionate towards myself about what I need to thrive instead of living in survival mode. It's peaceful and I love it. Best wishes to you.
I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, at 50. I wish I could say diagnosis has made me soar, but it hasn't. In part because so much damage has already been done but mainly because getting a diagnosis does nothing to change societal prejudice.
THANK YOU! Also ritilan isn't the answer for everyone. Did nothing to help me focus just helped burn out my already fried nerves and adrenal glands. Where are the ANSWERS that are supposed to make me soar lol?!!! I've been waiting my whole life...
@@rebekahdavis5935Is that the only medication you've tried? There are SO many options out there now. Try again until you find something that works for you.
At 52, I took ADHD meds for the first time this morning. I felt it 'doing something' in my brain after a few minutes. After an hour, clarity started to appear. Now, 6 hours later and I am stunned at what it feels like to have one thought at a time and to feel so calm. 😭😊❤
Yes! 1000 times! Yes! Was 47 years old… 49 now… and wow. Yep. Always told “anxiety and depression” my whole adult life! Reconnecting now to little girl me, my childlike wonder and imagination and excitement for life! Yes! I’ve truly been given new life post diagnosis!
I love this. Diagnosed at 62, nearly 100% on hyperactivity, the psych aprn was so impressed with the endless coping behaviors I'd put in place since i was a toddler (meditation, white noise, chanting, art, music, multitasking, exercise etc) that we decided not to try meds. If i was still in the work force, i probably would try, but am fortunate to not need or want to now. The only job i was ever remotely happy with was as a recreation director for the elderly, where i got to do 10 different things in one day, and be as energetic as i wanted. This channel is sooooo helpful with seeing the humor in ADHD, as well as acknowledging the pain- helps me feel good about just being my true self. Thank you❤
Welcome to the tribe! You’re safe with and appreciated by us. Find other women who are also newly diagnosed and discover who you really are and what true friendships can be. We help each other through awesome identification that immediately is felt, uncanny! We celebrate each other until we can honestly celebrate ourselves. It’s been a year and a few months since I got diagnosed at 63 years young! We are all full of energy, ideas, crazy stories (lucky to be alive-impulsivity/spontaneity), creativity, compassion, curiosity and kindness… but sometimes it can get to the point of co-dependency, but maybe that’s my C-PTSD. A lot of us have both. I love being ADHD! I don’t see it as a disorder. I feel lucky to a brain like mine. Wonder never ends, being ADHD, beautiful minds. 😎 Good luck! 😎
It is absolutely bittersweet, a relief to pinpoint that I knew something was "off" this whole time but upset at how not knowing affected my self esteem for so long. People constantly told me to "come out of my shell." Even therapists can be hesitant to diagnose. But I know. All the signs are there. Going to finally get on medication soon. Here's to everyone getting the help and support they need ❤
I relate so much to haven’t finished video yet but had to reply ahead of time, go figure! Thinking same thing. After diagnosis, then what. Everyone who really knows me will agree and it’s too long of a story for now. I’ve learned more from this channel than so many years of counseling etc. if I’d have known before being a mother, I could have been a better parent and helped them along their paths in life. We all have this. Don’t we all find ways to adapt but never understanding why we have to or the many other symptoms. Just hearing a diagnosis that makes sense and not feeling so defective somehow and hard on ourselves? Being able to be understood makes big big difference to me! Most important if feels, is that NOW I FINALLY UNDERSTAND ME! ❤
@@NightMystique13 Same here! It’s malpractice by the majority of the medical profession when it comes to how women are treated as we seek help for something we’ve had all our lives… and there are medications, supplements (fish oil and so much more), resources (this account), and coaching that turns our lives right side up for the first time ever! We are real heroes in my book! Thanks for helping and yourself! You sure have at least one huge superpower that is obvious! ☺️
I definitely cried. This was me a year and a half ago when I finally got the correct diagnosis after 46 years. First thing I said to my husband in the first hour of taking medication for my ADHD was- “Omg, my brain has a kickstand!!” 🤗🚲
This is me.. got diagnosed almost 2 years ago at 36 years old mother of 2 young children… I always failed everything, felt stupid and misunderstood.. I was rough on myself in my teens and 20ties, never soft and understanding, felt horrible and acted horrible. Turns out I’m not stupid! Actually the complete opposite, I just have ADHD, and dyslexia.. Now I’m in school again, preparing for university, loving it and living a totally straight and healthy life… it’s hart, specially with small children, but I feel so blessed and thankful, and so proud that I’m actually good in school..
I'm 55 and didn't ever think I had this. I thought i was just completely different. Because of this channel, I have made an appt to be tested. everything that was said here is me, on point.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I’m 67 and this is so validating. I only found out 2 years ago. What could my life have been….ah well, sometimes what broken can’t be fixed and you have to make something new.
Thank you very much for that great interview! Hello to all those lovely women and men out there who also have ADHD like me. You all are right with all your different shades of individuality. We are the flowers that make a meadow colourful, even if we are struggling with some things... 🌿🌸🌼🌺🌼🌸🌿
@Cecilia-yy9ew keep on keeping on I try a bit at a time but I get so worn out after my radiotherapy and I just have to keep at it as I'd love to have a garden back again not a jungle x
I know. I’m 40 and facing divorce due to my “laziness” despite somehow holding down a full time job and trying to be a good mom. I hope I can find someone who will treat me. The diagnostic test my psych wants me to take costs $3k out of pocket that insurance doesn’t cover. Wouldn’t that be amazing if treatment helps us!? Life might finally feel manageable.
@ES-fc9cy Wow, that 3K is crazy. I'd see another doc an demand a far less costly test. That just ridiculous 🙄! Take a self test, and do the research. You know yourself better than anyone. A doctor or a psych nurse should be able to diagnose u by sitting an speaking to you. 😢
@@ES-fc9cyoh ya, don't let anyone make you question yourself or call u lazy. Especially after working all day or night and being a mom. No wonder the world is going bat shit crazy. I mean come on where is the respect. Just try and feel good about yourself your doing fine. Actually your doing more than fine. Put your feet up and give the person that told you that the bird.😢❤
Oh I ABSOLUTELY know all that about myself. But what the heck am I supposed to do with it?? There’s all the “ADHD women are wonderful” talk around. And it’s so good that it’s there. But I’m just like, okay, so now show me how to implement this in a way that allows me to function in society and support myself so I don’t feel like a complete human failure. Yes, we’ve come a long way. But we still have so far to go.
My daughter sees a specialist ADHD psychologist who has helped her deal with not only the executive functions, but also the emotional damage she has endured. She is 34, diagnosed at 32.
Stop wasting your time trying to fit your polygonal self into the neurotypical holes society says you should inhabit. We're a different community, but there are millions of us, and when you find us, your people, you will feel like you are on a different planet. One where you're at home.
@OceanFrontVilla3 Your daughter sounds like me, trying to manage executive functions on a day to day basis and the emotional damage from a lifetime of trauma and not being understood by my peers and the adults in my childhood, thereby socially excluded most of the time. I'm 39 and was only diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago after enduring the baptism of fire that is motherhood. Just add a CPTSD diagnosis and autism (unofficially diagnosed) to the mix and voila! 🙃 That's my cross to carry in this lifetime, apparently 😅
I was diagnosed at 39 years old, shortly after my son was. It was a pivotal moment in my life, a turning point. It all made sense. It saved me, it saved my marriage. I still struggle, but I can now recognize what it is and what to do about it.
Anxiety disorder & ADHD. Before those just knowing I was an INFJ lifted a lot of that self hatred. Because I just used to think my God why am I so bloody weird. Why can’t I just be like others. Just knowing that there is an explanation and that you’re not just crazy makes you feel unbelievably like half your struggle was lifted because indeed, that’s half the struggle.
THIS is me! And apparently so many of us. I’m 51 , I’ve successfully raised a son who’s an engineer and a daughter who works for the Feds. I unequivocally know I’m a capable, intelligent, inquisitive, caring, thoughtful, mindful etc person. I don’t work~ I’ve suffered from depression anxiety and beat cancer 3 times like a boss. 🌺 My life has felt like such a dichotomy ~ proud on one hand and extremely sad and pathetic on the other hand knowing I’m capable of so much more. I’m not sure I’ve heard of the “why” yet as to how we are all like this. For my part, I was mentally abused by my narcissistic Sicilian father and weak mother. I’m sure there’s more to it, but that was my beginning. I LOVE that I came across this channel and listening to other’s stories 💫💫💫
Healthcare should be a human right! It should _not_ be, least of all, a commodity! (As it is now in much of the world, and being sold off in the wealthiest parts for greed, under the guise of some nebulous "free[dumb]". I hang my head in sadness.)
Where in the hell does it cost $5,000 for a diagnosis?? That is insane. I was diagnosed at 28 yrs old, and again at 38, and neither time cost more than $300 without insurance.
Yeah, where do you live? If you want a full neuropsych evaluation and a brain scan, it might cost 5K. Just go see a psych nurse practitioner, or ask your PCP for a referral to a psychiatrist. Also, if you're close yo urban areas look for clinical trials. I did one and although I already had a diagnosis and had treatment in past. They diagnosed me all over again and gave me experimental meds. When trial was over I didn't have to pay for the first visit to the click. Abd the trial paid ME to participate! Google it. Also your local health center has sliding fee scales and should have access to psychiatry for testing and treatment.
Never a truer word said! Diagnosed at 38, it was a long time coming! I look back at my career choice as a drama teacher and think it definitely helped me to cope with the ‘craziness’ which is me 😅 What wonderfully kind and encouraging words from this gentleman. I would have given anything to have been shown this kindness during my darkest times 💫 ADHD-Chatter-Podcast- you make a huge positive in the lives of us women with ADHD and by educating others about ADHD women- forever grateful ❤😊
Crying haha just was diagnosed as a 28 year old woman after being and and off anxiety meds that did nothing but make me numb. Now I’m on the correct meds and I’m thriving.
Adderall for me, extended release BUT I found that out by doing something called a genesight test. It’s also in use with cbt with my therapist. Praying yall find some relief ❤
This is spot on, and he made me cry, too, lol. I was told twice while inpatient that I have ADHD but I didn't want to believe them, though I was in my 30s then. I'm 52 now, and as grateful as I am to definitively know the answers I've always needed, I'm mourning for the life I could and should have had. People have been angry and frustrated and asking why am I the way I am and I'm a good person and it's them who can't be understood, not me. I won't get into it the abuse I've endured since I was born, but I'm so grateful for this channel and the content you put out and even the comments. I absolutely love the comments on these videos. I hope all is well and good with you, and I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't come out as a whole chapter of a book. lol, sorry. 😂😅
I'm 52 too and was diagnosed 3 years ago, your story is much like mine. I've learnt more from watching things like this than any specialist I've seen. Patience, forgiveness and a good sense of humour are the keys I have found so far. Good luck on your quest and don't forget to have fun with it 🎉
You don’t need to apologise for being you, although I do it too, a traumatic childhood will do that to you. I’m glad you have survived. Now is the time to be gentle with yourself. I was diagnosed at 55, I give myself so much more compassion now than I ever have before. Still not there yet but it’s a start. Self compassion is the key, I also practice gratitude not everyday, but I thank the trees for the oxygen that they give and that they breathe in my carbon dioxide, and for holding the soil together etc. it definitely helps me feel more positive. I wish you well in your journey.
I really need to go to someone who will listen to me and help me with a true diagnosis because I got told I just had anxiety, depression, and bipolar. I feel that none of those things truly fit me so I need someone to take a deeper look because I know in my heart and mind that I have ADHD and I need someone to see that.
I was diagnosed last week at 37. The trigger was losing my then best friend “because you’re too unpredictable.” My worst fear of being too much come to life. I’m an extravert but most people arr at a very different wavelength. Since the diagnosis I’ve started to forgive myself and give myself a LOT of grace. I always kept a very high standard for myself. Now it’s time to give myself the acceptance and understanding others can’t.
I cry every time I watch one of these shorts. It is so powerful and validating to be seen. I went 28 years before being diagnosed and treated. I still doubt my own diagnosis because of exactly the dynamic described here but it’s very real. Because I got diagnosed and treated I was able to finally complete my doctoral degree whereas I had been stuck for a few years unable to get my dissertation done. I’m a neuropsychologist now and my favorite clients to work with are girls with ADHD because they are so often overlooked and misunderstood. A diagnosis can be life changing.
I wish I’d known ages ago. Still not formally diagnosed but truly this is so me. Grateful to finally know and learning about the tools to help myself. Finally! Love to all of the completely misunderstood for soooooo long women ❤ We are stronger than we even know 😊
Another 40 something woman here 👋 waiting on NHS referall. Diagnosed with depressive disorders and anxiety all my adult life never once herard of adhd i thought it was for naughty school age children. Left my office job for a corporate of 16 years because my MH deteriorated. Only an occupational nurse said to me haas anyone ever said you have adhd i literally felt the emotion straigt away.😢iam certain thats myself but my partner says im self diagnosing! Im so frustrated 😠 i know myself after 43 years! 😢something has bot been right since childhood i felt different it makes me so sad 😞 i just want some clarity. I am constantly fighting against everything that holds me back.
I'm almost in tears. Thank you. 48 years of this I finally understand myself just bc I came across that 1st short on ADHD in women. I feel seen for the 1st time and not alone or defective
What wonderful tears to cry! I’ve needed to hear this for so long, as one of many adult women, just recently, finally, diagnosed in my 30’s. This filled my heart. God bless this man and his powerful message. ❤❤❤
I’m 51 just dx he gives me hope 🙏 I’m gonna just say a prayer for all of us right now struggling , stay positive and healthy 🧡 get help don’t give up 🧡 we can’t all do great things maybe but we can do small things that are great too 🧡
It wasn't until after my diagnosis (at 52) that I realise the reason I have been fired from every job I've ever had apart from two (the two most 'high pressure' and challenging ones) is that those two jobs where I thrived were working with 100% other neurodivergent colleagues. When we find our own, we thrive.
This channel has helped me tremendously, it is truly a blessing to hear that I'm not alone and that there's others just as intense as I am and pretty much passionate in every area and every situation lol. Thank you😊
I got my diagnosis at age 38, 2 years ago. It has absolutely changed my life. In hindsight it was so blatantly obvious that I can't believe nobody noticed anything. I now know so much better about how my brain works, which has empowered me to work with it instead of against it.
This speaks to my soul. I learn something new everyday about how mh my ADHD has impacted how the world has defined me by their standards. I now embrace my differences. ADHD is a superpower.
Going on dexamphetamine changed my life. I sleep well, wake up refreshed and alert, my number of flashbacks and panic attcks has plummeted during the two four hour periods after I take my meds, I’m getting so much more done, contacted people I haven’t spoke to in years.
My friends told me in college (16 years ago), but it took a grief counselor three years ago to get through. 14 months after that, I got tested and diagnosed. I was 39. It took a year to go through theboropee channels. Now, I am on a very low dose of meds, which helps me manage through the day. I am super grateful. I still have my hangups, but at least I have something to latch onto on those overload days.
I'm 29 and have my diagnostics next week. I'm so happy! Was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was a teenager, and took a high dose of antidepressants and antipsychotics for over 10 years... Without needing it! This kind of video's have really helped me the last few years :) Thank you so much for speaking up for us
This is me. Im ready to soar, but 40 years of professional (and personal) failures and gaslighting has made me terrified to go back to work. I've been on disability for depression and anxiety for about 9 years. For my ADHD Dx 2 years ago but cant get over the terror (PTSD?) of not finding a supportive work environment. I'm 63.
Im 44 now and i work 6 hours a week to hopefully get less anxiety over time. I know exactly how you feel. You never gave up, you're still here, you're here for a reason unknown to others. This world doesnt make it easier to find your reason. When other dont find it a good enough reason you feel stuck again.. ' ADHD vision' here on youtube might help you. You find recognition ❤
It took me about 7yrs to get back to work and I still didn’t know I had ADHD and Autism yet. I was still very anxious, but I started off casually/part time, and there were some arseholes there. But through working I started to push through little by little, it was really hard. Then the pandemic made me lose two years of work. But during that time I was diagnosed at 55, and the ADHD medication really helped to lessen my anxiety, and I was ready to work again. But my soulmate died and it took me another 6 months to be able to start to get back to work. I work with people with mental health issues and ADHD and Autism. I understand them and their struggles which makes me better at supporting them. I have worked with vulnerable people since I was 20, homeless, youth, drug & alcohol, disability, aged people, and mental health. Each small step you take eventually leads to bigger steps. I still get anxiety but I have CPTSD too. So I know it’s really hard, but even if you can do a free program like learning woodworking whatever you’re interested in, those steps even if you never go back to work. They will help you to build your self esteem. There are often women only woodworking groups or whatever you’re interested in. But something that gives you something physical you can take home to see what you can accomplish. It’s just about trying to push through that fear to begin. I wish you all the best. You’re not broken, you have just had something terrible things happen to you. You are enough.
The workforce is not a friendly environment for people like us. I’m struggling and going through perimenopause right now, I often wonder how long I can work. Stay away from big corporations, they’re the worst.
Are you able to consider yourself effectively retired from the mainstream workforce and put your energy into creative/personal interests? I'm in a similar position and that's the approach I've developed. I was fortunate in being able to do Fine and Applied Art as a part time degree though. One intensive day a week in college over four years.
I understand, and at 45 I feel like a failure as I flitted between careers, failed miserably at working for a boss as I was misunderstood (not diagnosed until I had a breakdown at 36) and a complete disdain for authority figures. I always did much better freelancing and having small businesses. I’ve developed panic disorder with agoraphobia and fibromyalgia along with depression, PTSD, endometriosis and this year anaemia and hypothyroid Hashimotos and I’m such a mental and physical mess I worry it’s too late for me.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 36. I always felt stupid and lazy as I left before graduating highschool, despite easily getting As & the occasional Bs, I was bullied mercilessly the whole time, until I wanted to unalive myself. I was talking to my therapist about how I’ve always flitted between wildly different careers freelancing and running a small business and never really focused completely on anything. She said “Well I’m not surprised, you’re one of the most intelligent people I’ve met and you are so educated on such diverse subjects from science, to art, fashion, psychology, healing, animals, metaphysical, it’s rare to be so knowledgeable and passionate on such a wide range of things. The truth is, you would probably be very successful in any of the fields you pick, but different things fulfill different sides of you. But by no means does that make you “stupid”, in fact it makes you quite fascinating to talk to”. I sat there just stunned and almost thought she was being sarcastic at first. When I realised she was serious, I broke down in tears 🥹
Oh boy, I love all of the different interests you listed. I think we would get along so well. I'm so sorry you had a bully attack you repeatedly throughout your young life. Thinking about that happening makes me want to weep it hurts me to my core. The empathy I feel for anybody, especially young and innocent children, getting mercilessly bullied is just so intense. I'm glad you have a counselor who appreciates the person you have become and the intelligence you have and the passions for such a broad spectrum of interests in life. Keep it up, never give in. You sound too special for this world to ever lose ya.❤😊❤
Thank you 🥲 It breaks my heart how much time & opportunity I've lost... and how I lost myself when my kids were growing up & when they needed me most 😢
I got my first diagnosis of depression at 11. At 51 I started having regular panic attacks. I've spent so much money on therapy and medication to try and keep my head above water. Every time I try to tell people that this was hard, that it was killing me, I got statements back that it's hard for everybody, and maybe I was expecting too much. It wasn't until my current therapist, who is a woman who has ADHD, looked at me this past August and suggested that I might have ADHD, that I even thought that might be a possibility. In September I spent 1 hour of talking and got diagnosed. The doctor who diagnosed me, also a woman, smiled when I asked her she was sure and said it was pretty obvious. I'm 57 now, and I'm just wrapping my brain around this. But yes, it does feel like a whole new world. Because I was right, it has been hard. But now that I know, I can make it better. And that's everything!
for years it was 'depression'. So grateful that a new GP recognised that my sleep, low performance, mental fog etc, wasn't simple depression but undiagnosed and untreated ADHD
The amount of times I heard No, you don’t have ADHD because they were expecting me to be hyperactive. It wasn’t until a woman psychologist diagnosed me properly at 48 did I get to cry of validation😔
Being told you are "too logical" or "sound too intelligent" to have the mental health disorders I have been finally diagnosed with. Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type on top of undiagnosed ADHD and likely Autism... to be told your whole life that you are "too smart for your own good" only for it to be the worst truth the world has told me. Too smart for people to realize I am dying here....
OMG clinical forensic neuropsychologist here- that’s exactly right … MDS and GAD are sequelae to UNTREATED ADHD. I can’t tell you how many women POC and African-Americans are not just unDXed ADHD but unDXed on the spectrum. True the majority of undiagnosed ADHD are adult women with Af-Am being a close second and if we’re going by per population Af-Am would be first because Af-Am kids w/ADHD are labeled behavior problems And in addition to some larger percent of co-morbid ASD, the greatest overlooked co-morbidity for almost anyone with ADHD are LDs which are right up there as co-morbidities for all populations. Yes we are all absolutely brilliant and it takes one to know one sometimes.. I have to have all three (ADHD, ASD, and an LD in my profile. However with untreated ADHD I’d never be able to do this let alone get through a doc program.
I'm a 67 year old woman and just got a letter denying me an assessment. I'm devastated. I was diagnosed at 25 with depression and anxiety. I don't know where to go next but resillence runs out. I'm still faking my life.
What are the grounds stated for the denial? Where do you live? Note that a general practitioner does NOT have the skills or the authority to deny you assessment.
bless your heart ❤️ just keep on researching and you will find your way. you may decide to try some counseling or a support group. maybe a trial with medication. maybe prayer, meditation, affirmation, low carb diet, vigorous exercise and so on. Dr Daniel Amen is one of the premier authorities. God bless ❤️🙏❤️
I was diagnosed around age 40 and it makes me so sad to think about what I was unable to do and all of my failures that I've absorbed and personified as being a failure/loser.. It STILL weighs on me even though I understand it
3yr waiting list to get initial in person NHS assessment, then a 6mth assessment period! Online test scored 134/150! Diagnosed as dyslexic at 30yrs at my sons assessment! I just had to work harder & live a lonely life! Succeeded in a healthcare career assisting anaesthetics ( lol! No social interaction needed!) Set up the first GP's Operating Theatre in the UK! Nicknamed " The Oracle" by staff quote "You're so clever it's intimidating!" At age 53 disabled with a terminally ill child, what's the point?
I think I am an undiagnosed woman and I never even remotely thought I might have ADHD until some women asked me what I take for it. Lol I started looking into the condition and symptoms and following others that have been ADHD diagnosed for years. Now I think to myself “wow, I might actually not be crazy”!
After 3 kids and graduating my second masters degree in psychology i am absolutely sire i uave ADHD i know the mechanisms i have developed to cope according to every scale. Unfortunately i do jot have the money to go for several appointments with specialists... So i am trying alternative methods however i am not coping well roght now
I am struggling to find a psychiatrist that will look beyond depression and anxiety. I keep trying to say they're a side effect of something else going on but the moment they ask family history and hear my mom is bipolar, I'm immediately dismissed and told I'm depressed. I'm not bipolar. I'm not even all that depressed. It's just depressing that the world ignores what I'm trying to say because someone else's diagnosis is apparently my only symptom.
I wonder if your mum was actually misdiagnosed bipolar and was actually undiagnosed ADHD - it is highly possible, especially if you are also ADHD. I spent many years misdiagnosed with depression - I saw a psychiatrist fortnightly for 6 years and some of the things she said to me were describing text book ADHD, but she never diagnosed me ADHD. 10 years later I finally was brave enough to try for an answer again, I went to my GP and I told him “I know this is not depression, this is different to depression, I think it might be ADHD” we discussed why I thought that and he was 100% certain by the end of my appointment and he wrote my referral. Make sure your referral is to a psychiatrist who specialises in adult ADHD, even better if they specialise in ADHD in women - I’ve learned from experience not all psychiatrists know about or even believe in ADHD
Find your people. Neurodivergents find each other, you may have noticed this in your social (and social media) circles. Working in the ND community is a joy, it's easy and fun, no bizarre expectations or pointless unspoken 'rules'. just other people who 'get' you. What a relief!
This cause an emotional response in me. Like a happy cry. Knowing made all the difference. I know what to watch for. I know i cannot take on too many responsibilities but I can still be highly productive. I am able to make the most of my talents because I understand the underlying motivations of the things I struggle with. Knowing I am ads/adhd did allow me to take flight.
Omg! It gives me tears even listening to it.. thank you for saying all that!! 🙏🙌✨️.. to feel better I keep saying to myself instead, I know I'm intelligent whatever they may say.. weird, sensitive, overthinker, overanalyzer, over justifications, daydreamer, anxious, paranoid etc etc.. 🥵 I just come back home or end that call and say in front of the mirror .." you know you're intelligent and amazing and unique.. a God's child, and that's all you need to know! " That alone gives me such a big smile like a kid with the candy 🫠🥰 but yes, it's also true that every single day every single hour counts in order to stay sane! 🥲
It is a whole new life to be diagnosed. But also grieving the loss of all those years of struggle.
"If you love a human being, you value their bodies' characteristics w...a...y down the list of " 10 Things I Hate About You"....(I mean, right???) *Generational Gaslighting enters the group chat*
Ditto.
I relate. I’m 65 and just getting this after years of struggles and have been beating myself up for all those same years. It’s not an excuse, it’s an understanding and we aren’t alone. ❤
EVERYONE ❤ SO TRUE, SO TRUE, SO TRUE...❤😊
How does your life change except that now you mention adhd 92 times a day?
Thank you. What you describe as "brilliant" is what people always called "too sensitive".
This helps me feel seen!
I like to think of it like scientific equipment. We wouldn't want our MRIs to NOT be sensitive. Researcher's had to intentionally design and pursue that sensitivity.
Before we had sensitive tools, miners used canaries to warn them of a dangerous situation before it became deadly to the workers.
Those with ADHD *are* focused, just not on what an external person has decided is important. Those of us with ADHD are focused on interpersonal connection. We are the canary in the mine, when there is something off interpersonally, we *know.*
That makes us excellent group facilitators, consultants, mediators, etc. Teal Swan has a video about "self value," or "self worth," in which she explains how value is *always* contextual. We are not likely to have born into the precise context in which our individual skill sets will be cherished. Nor is that a place we are likely to stumble into on accident.
We can gradually create a network where we belong, are cherished, where we can actually have fun being challenged in our skills without being overwhelmed with the nuances around the situation. ❤❤❤
Me too!
Paige, work with animals and you will stumble into it 😘 all those sensitivities have a place as soon as you eliminate language from the equation. My work with dogs has made me aware of the superpower found in unspoken communication. As such one may also find the same self empowerment via group of people whom relate without anything needing to be said because like a dog they see the real you despite what you may say.
Dr. Jaska told me after being tested for it….you DEFINITELY have it, AND you’re NOT lazy. It was as though he had some insight into my life. My brother was diagnosed at age 7. I was diagnosed at almost 48!!!!!!
How do you go about getting diagsnosed later in life?
@@PatriciaBrown1711I just went to my doctor and asked to be referred
Omg.. the day my therapist looked me in the eye and said ‘you are not lazy’.. it felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted.. it was the first time I broke down crying.. after all the years of being told I was lazy no matter how hard I tried.. the relief was amazing
My mom told me "you had no symptoms." When I was finally diagnosed. I definitely remember having symptoms. 😂
@@PatriciaBrown1711Talk to a therapist. Ask to be tested.
The grief over the lost past (and, therefore, the lost future) was and is the hardest part.
The future is not lost. We are incredible. We're different, not broken
30 years old and yet undiagnosed, but I cry over almost all of these videos because here is someone who understands me even if we've never met. It just helps to know I'm not the only one out there.
I so agree. This gentleman has opened my eyes to want to really understand that the let downs have not been my fault and I too cry every time I watch this. Mainly because I want to shout it out from the rooftop and that is I have no diagnosis I won’t ever have as I don’t have the means to pay for it, I just know he is describing me I have neurodivergent tendencies so explains why I was put in all the shit grades at school and it explains why I always question, questions.
Same
You are definitely not alone ❤
Yes! Getting diagnosed has helped me change my story about myself. You are definitely not alone! ❤
Me too 😢😢
Together we are
Thank you, I was diagnosed at 60. Ive been on antidepressants and antianxiety meds for decades. Spent my whole life hearing "If you'd just try harder" at literally everything. Thank you for validating us.
Do you take medication now? Was it hard to find good doctor/counselor?
Im still getting this.
Told my mom and my manager, who I thought would understand. My mom said “but you’re
not retsrded”( her words). She thinks only low IQ hyperactive kids can have adhd.
And manager said “you dont need meds you just need to pay attention”. Dont you think Ive tried, my entire life.. She has a grandson with autism so I expected better😢.
This just completely described me. I was (unofficially) diagnosed by my SIL, who is a dietician, when she came over for tea a few years ago, so then I went to doctor for a formal diagnosis; I was in my mid forties. It's taken from then until now to get medicine that makes it feel like i actually have some executive function. Just now listening to this I've realised my normally sky high anxiety has lessened. My house is the most orderly it has ever been, and I'm remembering things I need to.
For years I tried to use less complex words as peiple always commented on it. I didn't do it to be obnoxious, or make people feel less than, I just like correct words to be used.
Yes I’ve always had a good grasp on vocabulary as well. The correct word will just come to me even if I’ve never used it before or am not completely sure of the exact definition. It’s weird, as though it comes to me out of thin air.
Same 👊💯 & well put. ❤ Since I've become more aware of myself and the adaptive behaviour I've been using.... I've worked on just being me. If people don't like it 🤷♀️
Yup, me too.
@@universaltruth2025 that's crazy! Me too! My Mum said even when I was very little I would use "grown up" words to describe things, and knew the correct context, even though I wasn't a reader.
@@hellybelle5 yes - and the thing with irony as well. It is such a reoccurring theme in my life. It can be light-hearted but it can often makes me cringe as well when the situations are awkward. Once I got a temp job working as an admin assistant for a large volunteer outdoor safety organisation. My job was to do data entry recording payments. Within the space of a few weeks a job opportunity came up working for a lottery organisation that supported volunteer and charitable organisations. They had recently changed the way they allocated their pool of funding to applicants and that pool had also significantly reduced. One of the long standing committee coordinators couldn’t deal with it and left, leaving the position free right at the critical point in the year. I somehow got the job. Long story short, it turned out the lottery was the largest single funder of that outdoor safety organisation. They relied on that funding to stay afloat. So it turned out I went from the temp data-entry position looking at their records, to deciding how much funding they their entire organisation should get for the year. 😳 Along with deciding on the allocation to a number of other similar quite large organisations. Now that was ironic. Occasionally the CE of the Outdoor Safety would come to the office for meetings and I would try to hide so he wouldn’t see it was me in charge of their funding. Luckily I somehow came up with a method of allocating the resources fairly in a way that most organisations were ok with.
But that was surreal. I can’t help there is some unseen divine intervention going on at those times. Often putting me in reality awkward situations.
It is tragic. I am all the things he said. I have a huge vocabulary, I learn languages and solve puzzles easily, I definitely have a sense of irony, my imagination is well developed, and my ideas can be brilliant. However, my social skills are zero, I never found 'my people', and my life has been a non-stop chaotic disaster. I have just been diagnosed at the age of 67 and get a script for my medication in three days. Hopefully it will improve my life, however now I know to seek out others with this shared experience.
Well I feel you! ❤❤
You haven’t found your people yet but hey all of us in comment section are probably like you. ❤❤
So we in a way our your people ❤❤
Your people is here. Please, if you are so kind, let us know how you are feeling with meds that are not antideps or anxiolytics. Exactly like in your case, it' s been a full life taking them and abhorring the effect. *So happy for you* 🖤
I was diagnosed at 64 and went on meds (off-label wellbutrin). Two years later, i can’t believe how wonderfully “settled” i feel now. For me, the meds didn’t “fix” ADHD, but they made me more aware and quieted the never-ending brainstorms so that i could effectively manage my behaviors rather than being tossed about by them. Good luck!
Greetings, Jane under a tree with a book,
We, your people, are out here. I got my diagnosis of ADHD at 63. In the first year of meds, it's interesting and different. I'm learning how I think and what I like to do with my time and energy. I'm experimenting with exercise to find something I love enough to do daily and sorting out food allergies so I can devise a diet that meets my nutritional needs, gives me energy, and keeps me well. Playing with drawing and painting while listening to webinars helps me listen better.
Also, learning how my brain functions means I can be compassionate towards myself about what I need to thrive instead of living in survival mode. It's peaceful and I love it.
Best wishes to you.
In my experience only people who have this, or a similar condition, can understand.
People who dont will downplay it, if they believe you at all.
I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, at 50. I wish I could say diagnosis has made me soar, but it hasn't. In part because so much damage has already been done but mainly because getting a diagnosis does nothing to change societal prejudice.
THANK YOU! Also ritilan isn't the answer for everyone. Did nothing to help me focus just helped burn out my already fried nerves and adrenal glands. Where are the ANSWERS that are supposed to make me soar lol?!!! I've been waiting my whole life...
The problem is not you but the society we live in..selfish nd materialistic
@@rebekahdavis5935Is that the only medication you've tried? There are SO many options out there now. Try again until you find something that works for you.
This is hitting home way too much!!😢 I've never been diagnosed, but I can relate to all this.😢😢
At 52, I took ADHD meds for the first time this morning. I felt it 'doing something' in my brain after a few minutes. After an hour, clarity started to appear. Now, 6 hours later and I am stunned at what it feels like to have one thought at a time and to feel so calm. 😭😊❤
Which medication?
Vyvanse
Yes! 1000 times! Yes! Was 47 years old… 49 now… and wow. Yep. Always told “anxiety and depression” my whole adult life! Reconnecting now to little girl me, my childlike wonder and imagination and excitement for life! Yes! I’ve truly been given new life post diagnosis!
I love this. Diagnosed at 62, nearly 100% on hyperactivity, the psych aprn was so impressed with the endless coping behaviors I'd put in place since i was a toddler (meditation, white noise, chanting, art, music, multitasking, exercise etc) that we decided not to try meds. If i was still in the work force, i probably would try, but am fortunate to not need or want to now. The only job i was ever remotely happy with was as a recreation director for the elderly, where i got to do 10 different things in one day, and be as energetic as i wanted. This channel is sooooo helpful with seeing the humor in ADHD, as well as acknowledging the pain- helps me feel good about just being my true self. Thank you❤
I needed this today. I'm 53 newly diagnosed
Welcome to the tribe! You’re safe with and appreciated by us.
Find other women who are also newly diagnosed and discover who you really are and what true friendships can be. We help each other through awesome identification that immediately is felt, uncanny! We celebrate each other until we can honestly celebrate ourselves.
It’s been a year and a few months since I got diagnosed at 63 years young!
We are all full of energy, ideas, crazy stories (lucky to be alive-impulsivity/spontaneity), creativity, compassion, curiosity and kindness… but sometimes it can get to the point of co-dependency, but maybe that’s my C-PTSD. A lot of us have both.
I love being ADHD! I don’t see it as a disorder. I feel lucky to a brain like mine. Wonder never ends, being ADHD, beautiful minds. 😎 Good luck! 😎
@andreahill8697 thank you 🫂😊
It is absolutely bittersweet, a relief to pinpoint that I knew something was "off" this whole time but upset at how not knowing affected my self esteem for so long. People constantly told me to "come out of my shell." Even therapists can be hesitant to diagnose. But I know. All the signs are there. Going to finally get on medication soon. Here's to everyone getting the help and support they need ❤
Where are the doctors, counselors, and in general medical professionals who have this much compassion for us? I’m 61, and have struggled all my life.
I relate so much to haven’t finished video yet but had to reply ahead of time, go figure! Thinking same thing. After diagnosis, then what. Everyone who really knows me will agree and it’s too long of a story for now. I’ve learned more from this channel than so many years of counseling etc. if I’d have known before being a mother, I could have been a better parent and helped them along their paths in life. We all have this. Don’t we all find ways to adapt but never understanding why we have to or the many other symptoms. Just hearing a diagnosis that makes sense and not feeling so defective somehow and hard on ourselves? Being able to be understood makes big big difference to me! Most important if feels, is that NOW I FINALLY UNDERSTAND ME! ❤
59 and the same. Medical gaslighting has been a big problem.
Me too… !!! Ditto 🙋🏼♀️61 and sy struggling😔
@emilyevans6989
I'm 60 and have a lifetime of struggle behind me.
I'm so tired.
@@NightMystique13 Same here! It’s malpractice by the majority of the medical profession when it comes to how women are treated as we seek help for something we’ve had all our lives… and there are medications, supplements (fish oil and so much more), resources (this account), and coaching that turns our lives right side up for the first time ever! We are real heroes in my book! Thanks for helping and yourself! You sure have at least one huge superpower that is obvious! ☺️
I started crying too when I heard him say that!
I'm crying right now
Me too ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I definitely cried. This was me a year and a half ago when I finally got the correct diagnosis after 46 years. First thing I said to my husband in the first hour of taking medication for my ADHD was- “Omg, my brain has a kickstand!!” 🤗🚲
This is me.. got diagnosed almost 2 years ago at 36 years old mother of 2 young children… I always failed everything, felt stupid and misunderstood.. I was rough on myself in my teens and 20ties, never soft and understanding, felt horrible and acted horrible.
Turns out I’m not stupid! Actually the complete opposite, I just have ADHD, and dyslexia..
Now I’m in school again, preparing for university, loving it and living a totally straight and healthy life… it’s hart, specially with small children, but I feel so blessed and thankful, and so proud that I’m actually good in school..
Truth! Who is this man speaking?
He is speaking to me..
Yes, isn't that something!? 😂
Dr. Ned Hallowell
@@patricia.1958thanks!
I'm 55 and didn't ever think I had this. I thought i was just completely different. Because of this channel, I have made an appt to be tested. everything that was said here is me, on point.
Can I ask how you went about requesting an appointment? Was it with your GP/Primary Care provider or some specialist?
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I’m 67 and this is so validating. I only found out 2 years ago. What could my life have been….ah well, sometimes what broken can’t be fixed and you have to make something new.
How did you manage to get diagnosed at such a late age?
Thank you very much for that great interview!
Hello to all those lovely women and men out there who also have ADHD like me. You all are right with all your different shades of individuality.
We are the flowers that make a meadow colourful, even if we are struggling with some things...
🌿🌸🌼🌺🌼🌸🌿
❤
The power of being understood 🥲
Thank you. This made me cry. Im nearly 64 and have had this all my life
Same. 64 in March. Where to from here?
@Cecilia-yy9ew keep on keeping on I try a bit at a time but I get so worn out after my radiotherapy and I just have to keep at it as I'd love to have a garden back again not a jungle x
I know. I’m 40 and facing divorce due to my “laziness” despite somehow holding down a full time job and trying to be a good mom. I hope I can find someone who will treat me. The diagnostic test my psych wants me to take costs $3k out of pocket that insurance doesn’t cover. Wouldn’t that be amazing if treatment helps us!? Life might finally feel manageable.
@ES-fc9cy Wow, that 3K is crazy. I'd see another doc an demand a far less costly test. That just ridiculous 🙄! Take a self test, and do the research. You know yourself better than anyone. A doctor or a psych nurse should be able to diagnose u by sitting an speaking to you. 😢
@@ES-fc9cyoh ya, don't let anyone make you question yourself or call u lazy. Especially after working all day or night and being a mom. No wonder the world is going bat shit crazy. I mean come on where is the respect. Just try and feel good about yourself your doing fine. Actually your doing more than fine. Put your feet up and give the person that told you that the bird.😢❤
Oh I ABSOLUTELY know all that about myself. But what the heck am I supposed to do with it?? There’s all the “ADHD women are wonderful” talk around. And it’s so good that it’s there. But I’m just like, okay, so now show me how to implement this in a way that allows me to function in society and support myself so I don’t feel like a complete human failure. Yes, we’ve come a long way. But we still have so far to go.
My daughter sees a specialist ADHD psychologist who has helped her deal with not only the executive functions, but also the emotional damage she has endured. She is 34, diagnosed at 32.
Stop wasting your time trying to fit your polygonal self into the neurotypical holes society says you should inhabit. We're a different community, but there are millions of us, and when you find us, your people, you will feel like you are on a different planet. One where you're at home.
@OceanFrontVilla3 Your daughter sounds like me, trying to manage executive functions on a day to day basis and the emotional damage from a lifetime of trauma and not being understood by my peers and the adults in my childhood, thereby socially excluded most of the time. I'm 39 and was only diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago after enduring the baptism of fire that is motherhood. Just add a CPTSD diagnosis and autism (unofficially diagnosed) to the mix and voila! 🙃 That's my cross to carry in this lifetime, apparently 😅
I was diagnosed at 39 years old, shortly after my son was. It was a pivotal moment in my life, a turning point. It all made sense. It saved me, it saved my marriage. I still struggle, but I can now recognize what it is and what to do about it.
But after the diagnosis what do we do about it? This is the part I'm struggling with.
@@patricia.1958 came here to say this
Anxiety disorder & ADHD. Before those just knowing I was an INFJ lifted a lot of that self hatred. Because I just used to think my God why am I so bloody weird. Why can’t I just be like others. Just knowing that there is an explanation and that you’re not just crazy makes you feel unbelievably like half your struggle was lifted because indeed, that’s half the struggle.
THIS is me! And apparently so many of us. I’m 51 , I’ve successfully raised a son who’s an engineer and a daughter who works for the Feds. I unequivocally know I’m a capable, intelligent, inquisitive, caring, thoughtful, mindful etc person. I don’t work~ I’ve suffered from depression anxiety and beat cancer 3 times like a boss. 🌺 My life has felt like such a dichotomy ~ proud on one hand and extremely sad and pathetic on the other hand knowing I’m capable of so much more.
I’m not sure I’ve heard of the “why” yet as to how we are all like this.
For my part, I was mentally abused by my narcissistic Sicilian father and weak mother. I’m sure there’s more to it, but that was my beginning. I LOVE that I came across this channel and listening to other’s stories 💫💫💫
Hear hear sister 🎉❤😊
I don't think there is a why I think its more brain chemistry.😊❤
Most of us cannot afford the $5,000 in order to receive a proper diagnosis so we live in silence and frustration.
Healthcare should be a human right! It should _not_ be, least of all, a commodity! (As it is now in much of the world, and being sold off in the wealthiest parts for greed, under the guise of some nebulous "free[dumb]". I hang my head in sadness.)
Where in the hell does it cost $5,000 for a diagnosis??
That is insane.
I was diagnosed at 28 yrs old, and again at 38, and neither time cost more than $300 without insurance.
Yeah, where do you live? If you want a full neuropsych evaluation and a brain scan, it might cost 5K. Just go see a psych nurse practitioner, or ask your PCP for a referral to a psychiatrist. Also, if you're close yo urban areas look for clinical trials. I did one and although I already had a diagnosis and had treatment in past. They diagnosed me all over again and gave me experimental meds. When trial was over I didn't have to pay for the first visit to the click. Abd the trial paid ME to participate! Google it. Also your local health center has sliding fee scales and should have access to psychiatry for testing and treatment.
Never a truer word said! Diagnosed at 38, it was a long time coming! I look back at my career choice as a drama teacher and think it definitely helped me to cope with the ‘craziness’ which is me 😅 What wonderfully kind and encouraging words from this gentleman. I would have given anything to have been shown this kindness during my darkest times 💫 ADHD-Chatter-Podcast- you make a huge positive in the lives of us women with ADHD and by educating others about ADHD women- forever grateful ❤😊
I've been crying quite a bit watching these videos.
I did exactly what he said other women do when he proves it lol I started crying and then when he said they start to cry I started crying harder.
So thankful for your work and the insight, peace and hope I now have.
Crying haha just was diagnosed as a 28 year old woman after being and and off anxiety meds that did nothing but make me numb. Now I’m on the correct meds and I’m thriving.
What meds are they? I haven’t been able to find anything that works for me.
I would also like to know.
Adderall for me, extended release BUT I found that out by doing something called a genesight test. It’s also in use with cbt with my therapist. Praying yall find some relief ❤
This is spot on, and he made me cry, too, lol. I was told twice while inpatient that I have ADHD but I didn't want to believe them, though I was in my 30s then. I'm 52 now, and as grateful as I am to definitively know the answers I've always needed, I'm mourning for the life I could and should have had. People have been angry and frustrated and asking why am I the way I am and I'm a good person and it's them who can't be understood, not me. I won't get into it the abuse I've endured since I was born, but I'm so grateful for this channel and the content you put out and even the comments. I absolutely love the comments on these videos. I hope all is well and good with you, and I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't come out as a whole chapter of a book. lol, sorry. 😂😅
I'm 52 too and was diagnosed 3 years ago, your story is much like mine. I've learnt more from watching things like this than any specialist I've seen. Patience, forgiveness and a good sense of humour are the keys I have found so far. Good luck on your quest and don't forget to have fun with it 🎉
You don’t need to apologise for being you, although I do it too, a traumatic childhood will do that to you. I’m glad you have survived. Now is the time to be gentle with yourself. I was diagnosed at 55, I give myself so much more compassion now than I ever have before. Still not there yet but it’s a start. Self compassion is the key, I also practice gratitude not everyday, but I thank the trees for the oxygen that they give and that they breathe in my carbon dioxide, and for holding the soil together etc. it definitely helps me feel more positive. I wish you well in your journey.
I really need to go to someone who will listen to me and help me with a true diagnosis because I got told I just had anxiety, depression, and bipolar. I feel that none of those things truly fit me so I need someone to take a deeper look because I know in my heart and mind that I have ADHD and I need someone to see that.
I was diagnosed last week at 37. The trigger was losing my then best friend “because you’re too unpredictable.” My worst fear of being too much come to life. I’m an extravert but most people arr at a very different wavelength. Since the diagnosis I’ve started to forgive myself and give myself a LOT of grace. I always kept a very high standard for myself. Now it’s time to give myself the acceptance and understanding others can’t.
It doesn’t seem like she was a friend at all, never mind a best friend. I’m sorry 😢
I cry every time I watch one of these shorts. It is so powerful and validating to be seen. I went 28 years before being diagnosed and treated. I still doubt my own diagnosis because of exactly the dynamic described here but it’s very real. Because I got diagnosed and treated I was able to finally complete my doctoral degree whereas I had been stuck for a few years unable to get my dissertation done. I’m a neuropsychologist now and my favorite clients to work with are girls with ADHD because they are so often overlooked and misunderstood. A diagnosis can be life changing.
I’ve been saying this for OVER 2 decades
“I’m feeling down because no one who’ll treat me, my depression is Secondary”!!!!
I wish I’d known ages ago. Still not formally diagnosed but truly this is so me. Grateful to finally know and learning about the tools to help myself. Finally! Love to all of the completely misunderstood for soooooo long women ❤ We are stronger than we even know 😊
Another 40 something woman here 👋 waiting on NHS referall. Diagnosed with depressive disorders and anxiety all my adult life never once herard of adhd i thought it was for naughty school age children. Left my office job for a corporate of 16 years because my MH deteriorated. Only an occupational nurse said to me haas anyone ever said you have adhd i literally felt the emotion straigt away.😢iam certain thats myself but my partner says im self diagnosing! Im so frustrated 😠 i know myself after 43 years! 😢something has bot been right since childhood i felt different it makes me so sad 😞 i just want some clarity. I am constantly fighting against everything that holds me back.
I'm almost in tears. Thank you. 48 years of this I finally understand myself just bc I came across that 1st short on ADHD in women. I feel seen for the 1st time and not alone or defective
What wonderful tears to cry! I’ve needed to hear this for so long, as one of many adult women, just recently, finally, diagnosed in my 30’s. This filled my heart. God bless this man and his powerful message. ❤❤❤
I’m 51 just dx he gives me hope 🙏 I’m gonna just say a prayer for all of us right now struggling , stay positive and healthy 🧡 get help don’t give up 🧡 we can’t all do great things maybe but we can do small things that are great too 🧡
❤ I started to cry when you said that😭 Thank you! ✌️ Self diagnosed, after both of my children were diagnosed. ADHD/Autism
It wasn't until after my diagnosis (at 52) that I realise the reason I have been fired from every job I've ever had apart from two (the two most 'high pressure' and challenging ones) is that those two jobs where I thrived were working with 100% other neurodivergent colleagues. When we find our own, we thrive.
Never had a an nhs psychiatrist in Scotland speak like this yet even after a very late in life diagnosis. Thankful for this channel 🔥🤜🏻🤛🏻
This channel has helped me tremendously, it is truly a blessing to hear that I'm not alone and that there's others just as intense as I am and pretty much passionate in every area and every situation lol. Thank you😊
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🤗💕❤️ Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I got my diagnosis at age 38, 2 years ago. It has absolutely changed my life. In hindsight it was so blatantly obvious that I can't believe nobody noticed anything. I now know so much better about how my brain works, which has empowered me to work with it instead of against it.
This speaks to my soul. I learn something new everyday about how mh my ADHD has impacted how the world has defined me by their standards. I now embrace my differences. ADHD is a superpower.
Going on dexamphetamine changed my life. I sleep well, wake up refreshed and alert, my number of flashbacks and panic attcks has plummeted during the two four hour periods after I take my meds, I’m getting so much more done, contacted people I haven’t spoke to in years.
My friends told me in college (16 years ago), but it took a grief counselor three years ago to get through. 14 months after that, I got tested and diagnosed. I was 39. It took a year to go through theboropee channels. Now, I am on a very low dose of meds, which helps me manage through the day. I am super grateful. I still have my hangups, but at least I have something to latch onto on those overload days.
I'm 29 and have my diagnostics next week. I'm so happy! Was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was a teenager, and took a high dose of antidepressants and antipsychotics for over 10 years... Without needing it!
This kind of video's have really helped me the last few years :) Thank you so much for speaking up for us
oh, just hearing this made me emotional a oit to cry...😮
Wow! Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
This is me. Im ready to soar, but 40 years of professional (and personal) failures and gaslighting has made me terrified to go back to work. I've been on disability for depression and anxiety for about 9 years. For my ADHD Dx 2 years ago but cant get over the terror (PTSD?) of not finding a supportive work environment. I'm 63.
Im 44 now and i work 6 hours a week to hopefully get less anxiety over time. I know exactly how you feel.
You never gave up, you're still here, you're here for a reason unknown to others.
This world doesnt make it easier to find your reason. When other dont find it a good enough reason you feel stuck again.. '
ADHD vision' here on youtube might help you. You find recognition ❤
It took me about 7yrs to get back to work and I still didn’t know I had ADHD and Autism yet. I was still very anxious, but I started off casually/part time, and there were some arseholes there. But through working I started to push through little by little, it was really hard. Then the pandemic made me lose two years of work. But during that time I was diagnosed at 55, and the ADHD medication really helped to lessen my anxiety, and I was ready to work again. But my soulmate died and it took me another 6 months to be able to start to get back to work. I work with people with mental health issues and ADHD and Autism. I understand them and their struggles which makes me better at supporting them. I have worked with vulnerable people since I was 20, homeless, youth, drug & alcohol, disability, aged people, and mental health. Each small step you take eventually leads to bigger steps. I still get anxiety but I have CPTSD too. So I know it’s really hard, but even if you can do a free program like learning woodworking whatever you’re interested in, those steps even if you never go back to work. They will help you to build your self esteem. There are often women only woodworking groups or whatever you’re interested in. But something that gives you something physical you can take home to see what you can accomplish. It’s just about trying to push through that fear to begin. I wish you all the best. You’re not broken, you have just had something terrible things happen to you. You are enough.
The workforce is not a friendly environment for people like us. I’m struggling and going through perimenopause right now, I often wonder how long I can work. Stay away from big corporations, they’re the worst.
Are you able to consider yourself effectively retired from the mainstream workforce and put your energy into creative/personal interests? I'm in a similar position and that's the approach I've developed. I was fortunate in being able to do Fine and Applied Art as a part time degree though. One intensive day a week in college over four years.
I understand, and at 45 I feel like a failure as I flitted between careers, failed miserably at working for a boss as I was misunderstood (not diagnosed until I had a breakdown at 36) and a complete disdain for authority figures. I always did much better freelancing and having small businesses. I’ve developed panic disorder with agoraphobia and fibromyalgia along with depression, PTSD, endometriosis and this year anaemia and hypothyroid Hashimotos and I’m such a mental and physical mess I worry it’s too late for me.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 36. I always felt stupid and lazy as I left before graduating highschool, despite easily getting As & the occasional Bs, I was bullied mercilessly the whole time, until I wanted to unalive myself.
I was talking to my therapist about how I’ve always flitted between wildly different careers freelancing and running a small business and never really focused completely on anything. She said “Well I’m not surprised, you’re one of the most intelligent people I’ve met and you are so educated on such diverse subjects from science, to art, fashion, psychology, healing, animals, metaphysical, it’s rare to be so knowledgeable and passionate on such a wide range of things. The truth is, you would probably be very successful in any of the fields you pick, but different things fulfill different sides of you. But by no means does that make you “stupid”, in fact it makes you quite fascinating to talk to”.
I sat there just stunned and almost thought she was being sarcastic at first. When I realised she was serious, I broke down in tears 🥹
Oh boy, I love all of the different interests you listed. I think we would get along so well. I'm so sorry you had a bully attack you repeatedly throughout your young life. Thinking about that happening makes me want to weep it hurts me to my core. The empathy I feel for anybody, especially young and innocent children, getting mercilessly bullied is just so intense. I'm glad you have a counselor who appreciates the person you have become and the intelligence you have and the passions for such a broad spectrum of interests in life. Keep it up, never give in. You sound too special for this world to ever lose ya.❤😊❤
YOU GET ME... WOW.
I felt like he was talking about me and we don't each other.
This legit made me cry, this hit home so hard
Thank you so much for this! I really needed to hear this today👏🏻
Thank you 🥲
It breaks my heart how much time & opportunity I've lost... and how I lost myself when my kids were growing up & when they needed me most 😢
I got my first diagnosis of depression at 11. At 51 I started having regular panic attacks. I've spent so much money on therapy and medication to try and keep my head above water. Every time I try to tell people that this was hard, that it was killing me, I got statements back that it's hard for everybody, and maybe I was expecting too much. It wasn't until my current therapist, who is a woman who has ADHD, looked at me this past August and suggested that I might have ADHD, that I even thought that might be a possibility. In September I spent 1 hour of talking and got diagnosed. The doctor who diagnosed me, also a woman, smiled when I asked her she was sure and said it was pretty obvious. I'm 57 now, and I'm just wrapping my brain around this. But yes, it does feel like a whole new world. Because I was right, it has been hard. But now that I know, I can make it better. And that's everything!
That's so true 😢, all my life all people around me though i was broken, i thought that to😢
for years it was 'depression'. So grateful that a new GP recognised that my sleep, low performance, mental fog etc, wasn't simple depression but undiagnosed and untreated ADHD
The amount of times I heard No, you don’t have ADHD because they were expecting me to be hyperactive. It wasn’t until a woman psychologist diagnosed me properly at 48 did I get to cry of validation😔
This made me cry, thank you, it's so lovely to be seen ❤
Being told you are "too logical" or "sound too intelligent" to have the mental health disorders I have been finally diagnosed with. Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type on top of undiagnosed ADHD and likely Autism... to be told your whole life that you are "too smart for your own good" only for it to be the worst truth the world has told me. Too smart for people to realize I am dying here....
Find out at 60 that you have this coupled with CPTSD and suddenly you can understand your whole self..
OMG clinical forensic neuropsychologist here- that’s exactly right … MDS and GAD are sequelae to UNTREATED ADHD. I can’t tell you how many women POC and African-Americans are not just unDXed ADHD but unDXed on the spectrum.
True the majority of undiagnosed ADHD are adult women with Af-Am being a close second and if we’re going by per population Af-Am would be first because Af-Am kids w/ADHD are labeled behavior problems
And in addition to some larger percent of co-morbid ASD, the greatest overlooked co-morbidity for almost anyone with ADHD are LDs which are right up there as co-morbidities for all populations.
Yes we are all absolutely brilliant and it takes one to know one sometimes.. I have to have all three (ADHD, ASD, and an LD in my profile. However with untreated ADHD I’d never be able to do this let alone get through a doc program.
I'm a 67 year old woman and just got a letter denying me an assessment. I'm devastated. I was diagnosed at 25 with depression and anxiety. I don't know where to go next but resillence runs out. I'm still faking my life.
What are the grounds stated for the denial? Where do you live? Note that a general practitioner does NOT have the skills or the authority to deny you assessment.
Hopefully I can hear something like this from the people close to me.
42 just diagnosed. Feels amazing to understand now know what and how I need to learn to regulate! 🙌🏻
Thank you.
I feel this! thank you!! 🫶🏻
I cried seeing this.. after acknowledging , what should I do?
bless your heart ❤️ just keep on researching and you will find your way. you may decide to try some counseling or a support group. maybe a trial with medication. maybe prayer, meditation, affirmation, low carb diet, vigorous exercise and so on. Dr Daniel Amen is one of the premier authorities. God bless ❤️🙏❤️
I cried too haritha.
I was diagnosed around age 40 and it makes me so sad to think about what I was unable to do and all of my failures that I've absorbed and personified as being a failure/loser.. It STILL weighs on me even though I understand it
A whole new world people! Embrace it excell ✌
everyone should hear this
This gave me goosebumps
Such a kind person
I was diagnosed with borderline multiple personalities, anxiety, depression. Never adhd. That's self diagnosed. And explains all 3 of those.
Thank you. 🩷
Yes. All of this. Is ME.
Ditto
3yr waiting list to get initial in person NHS assessment, then a 6mth assessment period! Online test scored 134/150! Diagnosed as dyslexic at 30yrs at my sons assessment! I just had to work harder & live a lonely life! Succeeded in a healthcare career assisting anaesthetics ( lol! No social interaction needed!) Set up the first GP's Operating Theatre in the UK! Nicknamed " The Oracle" by staff quote "You're so clever it's intimidating!" At age 53 disabled with a terminally ill child, what's the point?
I think I am an undiagnosed woman and I never even remotely thought I might have ADHD until some women asked me what I take for it. Lol
I started looking into the condition and symptoms and following others that have been ADHD diagnosed for years. Now I think to myself “wow, I might actually not be crazy”!
After 3 kids and graduating my second masters degree in psychology i am absolutely sire i uave ADHD i know the mechanisms i have developed to cope according to every scale. Unfortunately i do jot have the money to go for several appointments with specialists... So i am trying alternative methods however i am not coping well roght now
Im nearly 45 and I've got a referral for testing. Every vid on this channel is just me all over.
I need this man in my ear every damn day!! ❤
I was diagnosed at 8 years old and still haven't figured it out.
I cried listening to this
God bless..may ur channel succeed..its a medicine that cure us..make us feel we are worth living😢
Trying to convince your family you aren't lazy is difficult.
I am struggling to find a psychiatrist that will look beyond depression and anxiety. I keep trying to say they're a side effect of something else going on but the moment they ask family history and hear my mom is bipolar, I'm immediately dismissed and told I'm depressed. I'm not bipolar. I'm not even all that depressed. It's just depressing that the world ignores what I'm trying to say because someone else's diagnosis is apparently my only symptom.
I wonder if your mum was actually misdiagnosed bipolar and was actually undiagnosed ADHD - it is highly possible, especially if you are also ADHD. I spent many years misdiagnosed with depression - I saw a psychiatrist fortnightly for 6 years and some of the things she said to me were describing text book ADHD, but she never diagnosed me ADHD. 10 years later I finally was brave enough to try for an answer again, I went to my GP and I told him “I know this is not depression, this is different to depression, I think it might be ADHD” we discussed why I thought that and he was 100% certain by the end of my appointment and he wrote my referral. Make sure your referral is to a psychiatrist who specialises in adult ADHD, even better if they specialise in ADHD in women - I’ve learned from experience not all psychiatrists know about or even believe in ADHD
Ok, so then how do we treat this and how do we manage so that we can reduce the anxiety., depression and constant feeling of underachievement.
Find your people. Neurodivergents find each other, you may have noticed this in your social (and social media) circles. Working in the ND community is a joy, it's easy and fun, no bizarre expectations or pointless unspoken 'rules'. just other people who 'get' you. What a relief!
This cause an emotional response in me. Like a happy cry. Knowing made all the difference. I know what to watch for. I know i cannot take on too many responsibilities but I can still be highly productive. I am able to make the most of my talents because I understand the underlying motivations of the things I struggle with. Knowing I am ads/adhd did allow me to take flight.
Omg! It gives me tears even listening to it.. thank you for saying all that!! 🙏🙌✨️.. to feel better I keep saying to myself instead, I know I'm intelligent whatever they may say.. weird, sensitive, overthinker, overanalyzer, over justifications, daydreamer, anxious, paranoid etc etc.. 🥵 I just come back home or end that call and say in front of the mirror .." you know you're intelligent and amazing and unique.. a God's child, and that's all you need to know! " That alone gives me such a big smile like a kid with the candy 🫠🥰 but yes, it's also true that every single day every single hour counts in order to stay sane! 🥲
Thank you so much sir
(30 yrs) Thank you 🥺