How I Got Fat Again (Cooking Instructional)
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2020
- 👏Music by Jippy:
hyperurl.co/q548td
and the jazz song is the LA Noire main theme.
Check Out My Podcast:
hyperurl.co/ForeheadFables
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Игры
Man with Alzheimer’s realizes his wife has been pregnant for months, seeks refuge in cooking Mexican food, precedes to throw out wife’s instructions on how to cook Taco Bell crunch wrap
THE SACRED TEXTS
cuts tortilla, wonders where the cut tortilla came from
999
anybody hear that l.a. noire music in the background? p.s. master lesbian general chef sam
dont know why but youtube's gotten me to watch crunch wrap tutorials maybe 5 times now currently? maybe taco bells paying for crunch wrap vids to take priority in the recommendations for food vids?
That moment when your wife wants you to get alzheimer's so u can smell good
*all timers
@@a330flyguy2 *oldtimers
@@androbourne sometimes*
If your wife doesn't believe that you have early onset Alzheimer's you're doing it wrong.
@@nanoqht285 coal miners*
Sam: Aluminum deodorant doesn’t cause Alzheimer’s
Also Sam: Damn it I forgot the tortilla
And chulula
This comment was funnier than the video!
Damn it I forgot the tortilla, chulula, and also queso
he also forgot the cheese in the microwave
all-timers
As a divorced man, this is the exact cooking show I’ve been looking for
LOL **HUGS
Oof, wife take half your stuff?
@@krissianvictir1291 Husband*
@@boyoncrack313 Yeah because that always happens.. Always sign a prenup
I am a virgin.
his wifes pregnant again? oh wow congrats to her bf
I was like wait what lmao, I love sam it’s good to see him doing good , been watching him since like 2013 and I never thought this Fucking nerd would have a kid
@@grayson7677 this is the second one, his wife’s bf is potent.
@@Kan-ova maybe he’ll finally get that mixed baby he always wanted
Is that real?
@@manzojamesemil5114 yeah sam was on stream playing with his wifes bf the other day and dude kept beating him in mario kart and sam cried on stream.
"Just like Sam used to make." - General Sam, just after making it, 2020
Either it was a joke or it was his alsheimrs
@@TS-je3cl maybe both
I’m so hungry now
@@RainedOnParade same
Good to know Sam still has PTSD from Abby crushing his sandwich like 5 years ago.
It's such a good reference, I love it.
2:30 Abby actually did that to Sam before, I remember him talking about it on the podcast. She made him a sandwich, wrapped it up, squeezed the living shit out of it, and threw it into his lunchbox. And he discovered it at work, and his stepdad laughed his ass off when he saw Sam with it.
Omg ahhaha
i remember this lol
Uncle*
So he used a story about his wife for a metaphor about an unloving mother, i hope his kid is okay lmao
@@absolutedumbass2366 i mean he’s said in the past that she constantly checks the kid’s and the dog’s bowel movements so i’d say she loves the kids and even the dog way more than she does sam
Facts: there's comes a time in every married man's life when he realizes he's not a big boy and cannot do it without her.
Manchild feels
and then she cheats on you takes the kids and almost everything you own. What a life I must say!
This is just sarcasm, i love wives ... YOUR WIVES
mfw my husband burns eggs and says " they taste awful, how do you make eggs again?". D:/ At least you tried.
Bro my mom almost never cooked, either I had to make food for myself or my dad would cook when he got home from working a 24-48 hour shift.
@@nommerz5465 Same my Boy bitches be lazy nowadays
Sam's worried about Alzheimer's but he holds a knife like he has Parkinson's.
Made me choke on my Crunchwrap supreme reading this
@Rick Koontz would it actually?
@Lil Uwu dicing would be a breeze but your fingers would look like the Indians when the Spaniards took them prisoner
@@wingx3430 which was
@@mcthuggin9803 they used the Indians to check if their weaponry was sharp
raw footage of what happened when Abbey was out for the night and sam was forced to cook for himself for the first time in his adult life, 2020 colorized
i love how you start the video with "ya aluminum doesn't give you Alzheimer's". then forgets the second tortilla.
So is nobody gonna mention the fact that he ever so quickly put in the “Abby is pregnant “ bit. I had to check when this thing was uploaded because this is either a filler dragon ball z episode from a couple years ago or he actually has another kid on the way
A baby sam
Definitely another kid considering this whole video was about his Covid weight 😄
Same I was in such wow
Oh no, he's multiplying
Lord have mercy on us...another spawn of sam...
alteimers
eeey gabagool
Alteimers is fun
What does jfj stand for
THE SOCK
Old timers
"Turns out I'm not a big boi and I can't do it without her." Awwww
Sam, if this was on network television, I still wouldn't watch network television.
WAIT HOLD UP WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW ABBY IS PREGNANT AGAIN
Same bro I was like wait lemme rewind that real quick!
Sam is a very potent man.
patreons already knew cause sams a jew
Sam going ham
i didn’t even process that until halfway through the vid, he mentioned it so casually
I like how Sam casually drops the fact that his wife is pregnant again lol
Congratulations are in order
Niiiiice.
@Ze4l Fish good thing kids aren’t
@@zackkassner3374 Hehe..... 1 kid = 100.000 Euro's in the Netherlands to grow that bitch from 0 to 18.... Bruh
He mentioned it in a podcast too I believe
@@teaser6089 you are dense
"This is about gaining weight." he said before sipping on his Diet Coke.
You ever seen a skinny person drink a diet Coke
A lot of people drink it not because its diet but because it has different ingredients it's less syrupy, I'm unreasonably skinny and still drink diet coke cause it doesn't make my body feel like shit. Sam himself has explained this before in a vid, but most people you ask will give you the same reason, diet coke is superior to regular coke
@@absolutedumbass2366 Oh really? How much you weigh?
@@JezusIsHere i haven't weighed myself since i started like a month or two ago and i was anorexic as fuck weighing in at a whopping 4 and a half stone, like borderline dying if i were any taller then 5'5 which is lucky for me cause I'm a 5'3 manlet
@@absolutedumbass2366 I can relate to that because I'm like the total opposite. If you give me a glass of diet coke, telling me it's normal coke, next thing you'll see is me almost throwing up because I hate the taste of artificial sugar and diet coke is full of that.
(I weigh about 70kg at 180cm height, totally normal BMI)
I have seven lawsuits from crunch rap supremes due to the “nonconsensual” spanking while will in pan...
How did you nail nonconsensual but fuck up wrap?
@@absolutedumbass2366 you seem to misunderstand. He was referring to Mr. Crunch Supremes latest mix tape.
Sam: “Unless your mom didn’t love you, then she just put the sandwich in a zip lock bag and crunched it with her hand”
I recall a podcast episode where Sam explains how his wife made him a sandwich after an argument and when he went to eat it, it looked as though she took her hand and death gripped the sandwich
Backstory
Shhh.....don't let the norms in
I was thinking the same thing
This is fact.
Yeah it was the one with his brother
we food youtubers now. good video
Need that auqa x pioneer woman collab
Sam cook aqua review
@@ianbarron5372 man Sam been cooking aqua for two years now
Aqua you should do another food review.
Happy birthday aqua
as someone who lives in new mexico, there is "authentic mexican food" places around every corner. And Sams view on mexican food is 100% true.
Seeing close up shots of Sam's soft, delicate, weak gamer hands sensually build this artwork of a snack made my peepee feel all funny.
I imagine the cut after “Because I’m a loving husband” was because of the five minutes of cackling/wheezing afterwards.
Lmao im sure thats exactly what happened
as a gentleman who is well versed in Mexican cuisine being half Mexican myself, i can confirm that it is indeed 6 mf ingredients
1. (your choice of meat)
2. chile
3. tomate
4. cebolla
5. tortilla
6. sour cream
Literally 6 👆
The majority of Mexican food in the US, is just street food and texmex.
@@miguelangel2342 texmex is awful
"how do you trap a woman into marrying you while looking like Ed Kemper ?" lmao
The way he just smiles in awkward silence when bit coin gets mentioned makes me wish I were a fly on the wall at H&R block when they ask Sam "Did you invest in any crypto currency this year?"
Best cooking show, uses microwave and gives professional advice with professional camera angles
This video is actually like well made
Get out here rusty naked boi
:)
Ecorp looking ass pfp
Yes good food
He’s just putting in the weight for a role in a movie,
They always need a fat guy after all
didnt work out so well for norm
He’s gonna be the next mall cop
@@smokedoofman4763 Paul Blart Jr. Amazon Security
I wonder where he gets his ideas from.
1970s businessmen breaking in to the international market under the guise of a mathematical genius do to an accidental mix up between his anti diarrhea medication and his cool college buddy out of towns cocaine.
“It was supposed to be about the crunch wraps, that got kinda dark”
We love you Sam. Never change.
Sam i gotta thank you. For years i have watched other 'adults' prepare food at the cutting table and felt self conscious at how mindnumbingly slow i am in comparison.
i dont have beautiful hands, i dont have a model's hands. no i have the hands of a 31 year old who has done some shit, not a lot, but these things looks like i checked a weak garbage disposal several times in my youth. BUT STILL i cut shit at a cutting table with the tempo of a vegetablized senior citizen because im afraid of lopping off a finger.
Watching you cut onions with the attentiveness and finesse of a drug addled toddler really boosted my morale.
thanks cuh.
I love to imagine that abbey is just chilling somewhere in the rest of the house while her husband spends half an hour shouting and giggling in front of a camera while microwaving food
@Sheckie Shabang facts
I love how Sam just drops into a conversation “oh yeah my wife’s pregnant” while dicing an onion
Was that significant? I thought it was a casual normal thing like him
It’s true I was the onion
Sam needs a cooking show. Hes the most funny and interesting person ive seen do this shit.
What an entertainer. I had just found your channel from Tarkov and here I fuckin' am, watching you make a cooking instructional video. I don't watch this shit. This is amazing, Sam. Happy I found your channel. Not only are all of your videos just fucking awesome and hilarious, the sponsorship ads you do for these videos? Top notch. I love how you can just curse and make all kinds of shit up in the sponsorship advertisement to sell it, and you know what? I bet you, so many people have actually gave into actually buying into something because they had you making them laugh their asses off over World of Tanks. Seriously, probably my favorite youtuber out there. Keep it up, man. Much love
make sure you join the discord! Lots more content there.
Aqua: let me eat spicy chicken nuggets
Sam: I’m gonna one up you and start a cooking show
Always gotta one up aqua
If it's a boy call him Samuel the Third to make him wonder where's the second, that'd be epic.
Sam traded the soul of Samuel the Second to Aqua during PAX to spare the life of a homeless man. He truly is a man of sacrifice.
@@xcrinn9896 ahahahhahahahaha
This isnt even a bad tutorial, if sam made more tutorials like this on how to make dishes I'd actually watch them
The great thing about Sam’s videos is that they are timeless. People have Rocky and Die Hard but i have all of these gems to watch over and over!
From an irl chef, the jacket did nothing but you really nailed the look of no sleep and self loathing.
Being a chef is probably one of the few jobs that's somehow more stressful and dehumanizing than being a Marine infantryman in a hot AO.
@@BigPuddin all the stress and half the chance of death as an escape
I like how he said that Abby is pregnant again so casually, I didn't even realize at first that the gamer achieved Sex 2
2 whole sex? Wow
@@WalrusWinking 2 sex is a lot aint it
Weeelll if Sex is that good, there you go Sex 2
sex 2: the sequel
If sex 2 is so good, why isn’t there a sex 3 yet ?
look up the brunoise cut and learn that for those onions (not a professional woodworker). Also, trimming the tortilla would be super easy with a pizza cutter. Love your videos sam
The worst part is I’m going to make this.
Oh god, he put his chef jacket on.
*flashbacks to dip nation y'all*
Classic Video
gotta be honest, when i saw him putting it on, it looked like a different costume
@@briananderson5043 nope 2 years strong with that chef top
@Toddog45 YES OMG
One of your best Sam,
Thanks king
Your a absolute chef
Woah blessed poster
What is happening
That’s a trip lol
My girlfriend said you have to make more of these videos. She forced me to send her this video after I watched it and she heard it.
Lmao. Sam, your videos always make me laugh from beginning to end. Please never stop making them. Excellent content!
“So as long as your kidneys are good, you’ll be fine” proceeds to forget something every 2-3 mins. Someone check this mans kidneys
Based pfp
@@captainchuck483 noice
@@LordVader1094 they always ask to explain the wooden doors they never ask how are the wooden doors 😞
Gamers rise up
*GLOBAL PANDEMIC STRIKES*
Sam: “It’s time to have another child.”
Corona babies are a thing. Yuppies living together makin a bb now that they're stuck working at home.
Well you gotta think about it youtuber isnt really affected by covid...
@Java Monsoon the WHO are gay af and the main reason we are in this mess
@@MajinMoon you're blaming an org for the incompetency of the government and people ?
@@riptidev10 i am blaming a org for taking hush money from china
HAHAHAHA this was one of the best youtubes ever bring more cooking episodes
Didn't know I needed a cooking video from Sam of all people. But I need it now.
And damn, that chopping action.
The fact that Sam of all people managed to get a wife and have a kid when he was even fatter than this unironically gives me hope.
Well it was a shotgun wedding when he was 14 and Abby's family got 3 goats in return for forcing her to marry sam
Low your standards a little. They are out there.
This video makes me think sam is a fucking giant. He's as tall as his fridge and doesn't look like he''s holding the gut of a typical 6'0 240lb
@@sotetsotetsotetsotetsotet2379 he just lives in a tiny house with tiny things, he's actually 5'2
@@Jef_Jingles He probably wears a corset as well smh
Hey there, Sam, this is Joel with the Home Owners Association. I tried to pass the message along through discord but we really need to talk about the giant confederate flag you have flying in your front yard. I've left you voicemails but you never called back. We really need to talk about this flag as it is making people uncomfortable.
Up vote so sam can see this he needs to know that the south will not rise again.
@@waldo7184 found you.
@@waldo7184 *like
@@cheesbuga7201 Did you just correct upvote to like? ...
@@sp1602 Yes.
General Sam you really up the content game my dude.. Love all your AE text titles, color effects, retro stuff.. So much eye candy thanks for the cool content! You make me try harder on my own content lol!!
This guy would make a fucking phenomenal adult swim personality. Seriously, the editing is top notch and reminds me of like loiter squad almost, very early 2000s but with more modern comedy. Good shit, sam
"I heard that aluminum deodorant causes alzheimer's" Its stuff like these that make you remember that Sam's truly embraced the stay-at-home spouse nature
It be like that sometime
The deo must be kicking in since he forgot the topper and the queso
"alltimer's."
Spouse Nature is my favorite deathcore band.
Sam gets his own cooking grease from his forehead
always nice to come back after school and watch your videos. you are just a ray of sunshine. keep doing what you do dude!
Loving the LA Noire music playing throughout the vid. You stay classy Sam
'Ogres are like onions'
And Sam apparently is too.
his hairline is peeling it all back
“How I got fat again.” More like a return to form
This is a spicier roast than it seems at first glance. 'A slow roast' if you will.
Its wild to pop in every few months and how much you've changed from the general sam i watched play skyrim. in a good way
When Sam said aluminum deodorant caused Alzheimer’s I ran to check my deodorant and saw Aluminum Zirconium as the main ingredient.
Luckily I don’t get my health advice from gaming channels on RUclips
Forgets the inner tortilla, early alteimers has already set in RIP
"mexican food basically has six ingredients" -GeneralSam as he grabs Italian shredded cheese
Same flags basically except the mexican one has a bird eating a worm in the middle
Child Suppourt payments are due. bruh..
@@bugmachine777 am i wrong?
Italian and Mexican food is the same they're both covered in cheese and some sort of tomato sauce
Italians are the fancy Mexicans of Europe (not counting Spain)
One of your best vids by far haha!
I hope you do a few more of these videos if you enjoy them, they are fucking awesome this is my third time rewatching this.
The fact that Sam achieved sex twice, is a miracle. That's like a new world record for gamer's right?
Standing ovation for our boy 👏
Who knows maybe he laid down the pipe a 3rd time. But that is asking a lot.
@@ntnloff8525 double reported
@@ntnloff8525 might need to ban this guy
@@cruxmind what did he say
@@MrNight-dg1ug I forgot lmao it was a bad joke
All I’ve ever wanted to know what goes into your bodie now I can rest.
he should do a follow up video where he goes through his shit
@Valtyredvardsson ya know I might actually watch that
This was so relaxing thank you for this master chef Sam
This is one of the few good video on the General Sam channel
His ring finger has bulged so much, he probably can't remove his wedding ring.
That’s how they trap you.
Why do you think she gave him instructions to make Crunch Wrap Supremes?
This video has such a big “stuck with your uncle for the weekend” vibe
Sam has the same sense of humor as my uncle... Who is currently in prison for sex crimes
Cool dude tho
@@aceambling7685 noice
That 60's / 70's back splash though! top notch. Great Vid Sam.
Sam: The only edible thing on the menu
Gordita Crunch: Am I a joke to you?
Chops a whole onion for 1 crunchwrap: "Y me smeel like unyun?"
It's crazy that most youtubers will make an entire video explaining that they're having kids and Sam just casually announced it while talking about how he smells like onions
This was beyond amazing, please make more cooking vids
Please do another one of these for Christmas this was funny and all but holy hell it’s relaxing
As a straight man i’ve never been attracted to a man who looks just like me. Until now.
Same
@@thedesertfox3932 mé too
this poor man still hasnt realized that he lives alone and abby and the kids are in his mind, but at least he learned how to make a crunch wrap
I think this is still my favorite General Sam video after he (or youtube) took down Last Rifle You'll Ever Need. There's just so much good stuff packed into this video. All of Sam's food-related videos have been great, but this is still on the top of that mountain of achievement
I really love these cooking bits, I'd absolutely watch a series
not a single publix brand item in there. Sam is making the big bucks.
also, wondering if the mega sized box of go squeezes is for Sam or his baby.
Idk a single person that doesn't get that brand of tortillas tbh. Those things are top tiers never had one tear on me yet from making a burrito
Why is no one talking about how Sam called Alzheimer’s, “alltimers” lol
Old-timers
Already showing signs, cannot remember the word.
Well.. he _is_ a highschool dropout.
I hear a people say both. I think it's a regional thing.
@@jessew5152 it's an education thing, like calling the ground outside the floor
Your style of videos definitely tells me that you're a fan of the Channel BRUTALMOOSE
Sam has amazing content. Definitely a big fan of these videos!
Dammit Sam, you're going to kill me.
Not who I thought would be here
as long as you don't keep a bottle of hot sauce in your ass you'll be fine
Did not get fat, 3/10 cooking tutorial
The L A Noire music just makes the onion cutting hit different
I've watched this several times and it blesses me with the sacred knowledge every time. Bless you sir.
You should make more cooking videos Sam. They are perfect
Says “Loving Husband” *Literally can’t contain laughter*
Papa Sam is the king of the rat market he didnt loose no bitcoins just thought they were chocolate.
Lol i fucking love this guy. Can't believe i never came across your channel before. I feel blessed rn.
8:08 Honestly i just love how relatable you are
I used to build and sell wooden tables and stuff. I really enjoyed the people who worked for me trying to tell me how stupid I was when it came to wood working. Also neighbor would come over to the shop and just stand around and tell me what he would do.
hol up, Abbys got another bun in the oven... did she force this decision onto you?, did she force the act of reproduction onto you because you guys already screwed up the first kid and gotta reload the save file?
Bo he said in one of the podcasts that he wanted a second one because he doesn't wanna get old and feel like he missed out on having a second one
@@Bdoboh which pod show talk cast you referring too? cuz if it was patreon exclusive then I missed it
@@swivelskittle3926 I believe it was the stimpee one.
Welp Its all sams fault
This is the only single-person podcast that I would watch fully
"this is a divorced man's cooking show" had me in stitches.