I Got Kicked Out Of A Bolivian Village!
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- LATEST MERCH: teespring.com/...
🇧🇴 Whilst in Boliva I thought it would be fun to go and check out a village somewhere and meet some locals. I randomly chose a place on the map called Patamanta and naively headed off expecting to make friends and be invited into people's homes just like I had done in the former Soviet Union...Well Bolivia isn't Belarus...
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Just imagine:
You‘re born in rural Bolivia during the height of the cocaine trade. The remoteness of your village makes it an ideal location for growing and trading coca. The cartel show up when you’re a child and you’re convinced that they are the only people in the world who know about your home in the mountains; as a teenager, you realize that you’re right. Not even God visits your village. How else could you explain the unspeakable acts of cruelty that happen in your backyard?
You join the cartel, becoming the monster you always feared. The income is too sweet to make you feel for the people you’ve tortured: coca has made your body and soul numb.
You’re patrolling the area as you’ve done a thousand times when you suddenly spot a tall white man casually strolling through your coca operation. You get closer and you see that he’s dressed in a ridiculous hat and backpack. How in the world did he get here? Who is this and what does he want?
You approach him: in the middle of a coca field in the mountains, he greets you with a handshake and a cheery smile like he’s at a fucking dinner party. He has no idea where he is or who you are, but his demeanor says he’s exactly where he should be. In broken Spanglish, he asks you for directions to a building - an empty, crumbling old church abandoned by the Lord himself, long since desecrated by the atrocities under its roof.
This strange man - the first non-mafioso to visit your village in years - has traveled all the way from London just to see four fucking walls and a roof in your miserable little village. He is so hilariously naive, so unfathomably stupid for unwittingly stumbling across cartel property, that you can’t help but feel he’s harmless. Does he even know how much danger he’s in? You let him go with his life just for shits and giggles, fully aware that no other innocent soul will ever venture into your little village again.
next week on bald and bankrupt " i got kicked out of a taliban stronghold"
My man really just casually walked through a cartel controlled coke farm and lived.
When you put all your points in Charisma and zero in Intellect.
wherever you go in the world, a granny will always have a werther's original
South American people get me when saying that our hearts stopped when the bikes appeared.
Quote from a tv show fits perfectly here: "That went surprisingly well. You came off like a naive idiot. And naive idiots are not a threat."
"Hopefully I don't stumble into some cartel village" *childish giggle*
god I love this channel haha
😂😂
He is class
bro hands down best channel on youtube!
He's the adult Ralph Wiggum:
*chuckles* I'm in danger
He just did.
When people show up on new bikes in a mud hut village there employed by the cartel.
That was jokes the guy said his name was France after you said England.
Just talked his way into the cartels land..
Best socializer in the game.
Wearing that stupid hat probably helped him. Someone who might be a threat to their 'community' would not run around looking like a clown.
Bald your ignorance is awesome until it isn't. Don't get killed man.
Yeah that guys name was DEFINITELY NOT France xD
STR: 58
AGI: 45
INT: 18
CHA: 98
LCK: 86
Watching this channel has become terrifying.
4:31 “Turista, sí, из Англии”
Do Afeghanistan cave exploring next lol maybe you'll meet some friendly locals
Strength: 15
Intelligence: 15
Charisma: 55 + 20 (silly hat)
Without the boost of your silly hat, you would be dead by now
something tells me bald knows exactly what he's doing and is trained in how to deal with these situations. he never apologises for going onto their land and instead plays the fool. it seems like he may have experience in the military, the way he diffuses potentially dangerous situations with such ease and confidence is not typical of a person without prior experience
How Bald gets back home to his hotel in these videos is always a mystery to me...
I'm thinking the same 🤔
he has a whole BBC film crew, with Makeup artists, stunt doubles and on tap Lattes.
Bald doesn't upload in few days.
"Yep he is dead"
Harold picks him up in a Lambo
Yeah it's like he memorized the map of the whole world or he have someone with him
Mr Bald:
Physically in Bolivia
Mentally in Soviet Union
"Some kind of militia"... oh my, oh my... My man is so innocent.
7:36 the view is quite a unique and spectacular payoff, though, isn't it?
“It’s time for a coca stop.” They’ve got you hooked bald one.
I can’t wait for the “having a nice cup of tea in a Afghan poppy field” episode. “Ahh, good morning! Would you care to join me for a nice spot of tea” oblivious to the array of AK’s.
"Hopefully I don't stumble into some cartel village."
*One Hour Later...*
4:46 Seriously, I can feel the stress of that first rider. He was just ready for the next order......😑
Ya....I'd say this was the most dangerous thing you've ever done by far .
I've traveled alot of places (just like you). The first guard that rolled up and said there was a problem didn't look you in the eyes because he wasn't sure if they were going to fuck you up or kill you. Once the boss rolled up and he determined he just a psychopath they were all more friendly. Be careful out there man. That situation could have gone quite south quite fast.
Be careful out there man, South America is nowhere near as safe as Russia.
Bald, this ain't Russia. Gotta be more careful.
When you are getting killed, give them your RUclips account info And ask them to post your last video for you. Your views would be off the wall.
Lol, Slavic village people are a lot more friendly
Bald is European it's simpler for him to meet people in Slavic village and he speak Russian .. if a Senegalese goes to villages in Ukraine or Belarus without speaking the language of the locals... For sure it will not be the same.
Slavic peoples are friendly in general, they just look scary.
They are friendly or rather apathetic due to decades of neglect. In South America villagers are more robust and energetic
i hope Bald is smart enough not to do this shit in countries like Brazil or Venezuela :)
Yeah, the lady in green at 3:25 says, "you can't... the folks sometimes burn people."
Good thing Harald wasn't with you, I don't think they would have found Jeffrey very amusing!
After Bolivian you need holiday in a Belarus old village with some wodka and friendly babushkas
Okay i'm mexican and here's what happening,this is independent native territory and the guys on motor bikes are communal police,basically citizens of the land but with the authority to arrest and ask questions if anything goes wrong they call the local police by radio,they are cartel but the legal type of cartel (Evo Morales' cartel),not like in my country Mexico,these guys are official coca farmers as in they have permission by the government to do so.
everytime you get in some sort of trouble im like "oh my god are they gonna murder him or kidnap him" but then i remember that its you that edited and posted the video
I sigh in relief when I see a new video because that just means he's not dead .... yet
Haha very good point
The cartels could torture him for his youtube password then upload the video to make it seem alright.
And then at the end of the video you see him kneeling between two armed masked guys with AKs taliban style, demanding 1 million dollars 'till noon or he gets it.
When videos will stop getting uploaded to this channel remember something went wrong.
When you traded with that random village lady. That was so interesting.. reminded me of a runescape trade with a random player lol
"Bald British Man Walks Into Cartel Controlled Bolivian Village With Coco And A Camera"
They taking pictures of your passport and stuff... I would feel very uncomfortable about that
love how that random abuela in the middle of nowhere happened to have the same exact candy my grandma as at her house
Plot twist - Bald actually was doing some business there.
Bald, you totally blend in with Russians. You just look like another local bloke until you start talking. In Bolivia, you stick out like a sore thumb. You have to imagine these people seldom if ever get visitors that aren't from surrounding countries. Not to mention the trade/drug wars, and the fact that locals must protect their agriculture to survive.
Be careful man christ! Russian poor areas aren't South American poor areas!
No doubt lol someones gonna kill him for his camera in one of those small villages if he isn't more careful or has a local guide
In a different universe there is a south american bald going trough russian villages trying to offer the people wodka in broken russian and getting rejected everywhere
You are right. In Russia you are may feeling safety everywhere
serriouslly,dude,bald man,you are pushing your luck,you will end up on the news found behaded,dont play with this locals,they wont understand you,so my advice is to get the hell out of that shithole!
Russians are much friendlier
Those bikes looked expensive af especially when all the houses around are mudhuts
Plot twist: He's been cursed with knowing exactly when he'll die. In the meantime, he does crazy shit, knowing it's not his time.
That church looked like it had a few bullet holes in the front wall.
Hi, I am from Bolivia I was born in La Paz and my ancestors are from those villages I like your videos and you amazed me with the way that you just went through this little Village with no hesitation, even for me as a local I would think it twice since there are no police departments as any 1st world had. So, they take to any foreign people very carefully, they could even kill you if they want to, isn't a game, the woman who showed up first told you "they could burn you alive", and it's true since I saw it multiple times, they take their justice with their own hands, and they can easily get confused to any foreign people as a thief. Thankfully, all went well for you, but we are friendly to foreign people but only after getting confidence in them.
I absolutely love your easy going attitude towards everything. They're burning people alive over there? - awesome let's go!
Is this place dangerous? Peligroso? Yes? - come on let's check it out!
You're a character bald! I admire your guts. Hope nothing happens to you though. Take care man!
I think you're developing a coca habit mate lol
Yawn. You need it for altitude sickness. It's pretty mild in leaf form
Im sure he's already familiar with the powdered white version of coca leafs
The chalk he chews with the leafs actually turns the coca into some other substance that is not addictive
It's not similar to cocaine at all in effect and helps a lot with the thin air. I'd say it's comparable to coffee from experience.
Those look like Bullet holes in the church walls
Those two bikes are worth more than everything else in that whole village lol
"Hopefully, I don't stumble into a little cartel village."
DM rolls 1.
*Militia rolls up*
Bald rolls 20.
"Well. That was a little adventure, right?"
You need to start being more careful or we'll all be sitting around wondering where the upload is, and it'll never come.
You sir where literally walking through a cartel controlled land. The lady at the end asked you for money lol.
I can't believe the former Soviet Union is friendlier.
On average, people there are quite gloomy and don't like expressing emotions, but there's plenty of good, friendly people. There's definitely more "xenophobic" out there in the world.
Oh, Ffrendly Soviet Union!
FSU is populated primarily by whites.
Ikr
There is a lot more danger in South America than in the USSR, the people in the villages have to look out for each other due to the high amount of criminals.
One of the women said: "They will burn you there"
🤧
In a lot of agrarian regions of the world, the devil is the neighboring village.
Mysteries And Thoughts when
“Why did the church get abandoned.” 🤣😅
It’s obvious they are a part of the Bolivian coca industry don’t want any “DEA types” waltzing in their backyard. Those are the best Enduro bikes money can buy.
I briefly expected to see a carpet of potatoes in that church.
Just imagine seeing an alien whom you never seen before just casually walking around your property talking to himself walking in circles 😂😂😂
Honestly worried about Bald. What he does here is stupid. Russia isn't anything like South America
My man was playing DayZ last time and now he’s playing Ghost recon wildlands
bro I did the same thing you did but in Colombia.... just walked in the middle of the road, saw a lady with a kid and she brought me into her house, live with her family for 3 days, we went up the mountains, ate, they invited me over for christmas etc, it was awesome.. But only difference, I speak fluent Spanish and the place I went was really peaceful (in Cundinamarca) no drugs or cartels but there are places in Colombia where I would never go without having a local guide, permission etc, because they are still influenced by paramiltaries, narcos or guerrilla.. you gotta know where you're heading even if you're doing this spontaneus stuff man those Bolivians were certainly from a drug cartel
Cartel patrol: over there people are burned alive
Balder: oh you mean in ancient history?
Cartel patrol: no, every Thursday evening.
Balder: I want to go to the church then.
Oh, shit. The balls of this dude are big.
So remember kids, having a smile and friendship/dumb attitude can save your life or get you out of difficult situations.
Don’t do these types of places they ain’t like little friendly villages in Russia or Kazakhstan. I feel uncomfortable for you.
There are a lot of worrying comments on here, I just hope he recognises that people are genuinely worried for his safety
Bald you should've worked on your Spanish a bit more. its one thing going to Spain with little to no Spanish, but out in the middle of nowhere places in South America with drug trafficking and cartels, you're gambling with your life, and you don't seem to know it. Just because you hadn't gotten your camera stolen in India or Russia doesn't make you invincible. I hope you stay safe, your content is great when not putting yourself in danger. Some of those guys won't think nothing of shooting you or stabbing you if you put a foot wrong or say something out of turn.
3:23 ''No puedes, a veces la gente quema a la gente'', (You can't, sometimes people burn the people) ----WTF o_O
I heard they don't have police forces around small isolated villages so it's pretty much wild west and they need to make their own rules.
Thats because the cartels control those areas x) These countrys is so fking corrupt, police wouldent do shit if someone got killed there, or kidnapped. Well atleast hes not in the fuckt up areas of mexico. some of those are like war zones.
Damn, it would be amazing to ride a dirtbike there. No worries of cops.
*You also can’t walk into the tribal areas of Afghanistan.* *You need permission from our elders, and most of them will gladly take you around and show you the villages.* *But you do need permission.*
EVEN the Taxi driver "WARNED HIM!" I can't take you all the way into the village "THERE ARE NO ROADS>"
Lol they might look funny but those dudes mean business. You will have a hard day if they decide there is an issue, you're just lucky that older guy with the glasses decided it was ok. Might not be so lucky next time
Bald's limited knowledge of Spanish (and my unfamiliarity with the local culture) is making me super anxious for the man.
Too much trouble for views Bald. It's not a joke if locals are saying that these places are dangerous.
Those werent militia those are drug cartel members and they have your details now. Id suggest getting out of the country now lol. That was really stupid.
The reason they asked you to leave is because they were likely involved with narcotraffickers, and any outsiders could be potential investigators.
Also, "plata" usually means money $$$ (though the literal translation is silver)
Plata is money, or dinero
pedro ma thanks so much took me ages t find your comment 🔥
Specifically coin
They probably ate the missionaries.
😂😂you are right bro
I'm screaming 🤣🤧
I have a story that could explain that empty church, several years ago I traveled through Bolivia and in Potosi I met a girl, she took me to her house and the strangest thing is that she had a lot of religious objects in her house, things you only see in a church, like statues and big golden cups, I found it really creapy, she told me that decades ago her family had a lot of land and even her family had a church, but there was an agrarian reform and their land was divided, they even lost the church they had, not before taking everything, I don't think it's the same church but if it's possible it's a similar story. btw awesome channel!
Those "militia" people are basically saying that's protected indigenous lands, so maybe they have legal powers to control who goes in and out of it.
Oh and plata is silver, she was essentially asking you for money.
Crikey Ben ahahahah
Just made a comment yesterday about him confusing tourists by insisting his name is Bald, which is both strangely difficult to pronounce but also not a recognisable English name. Nice to see you introduce yourself as Benjamin!
I have to be honest. Out of everywhere you and Harald have visited, this place is the least advertising by far.
Dude, even Google map won't drive around there. It goes in a road and out. I tried to drop the little man on the map and he won't let go of the cursor arrow.
Local militia? More like local mafia.
I can't wait for the "I partied with a drug cartel" video.
He's speaking a mix of Spanish and Russian haha. 'Yo soy turista, турист из Англии.' :D :D :D
I’m a fairly new sub, 3 months or so. This was the first time I was like, bruh you better gtfo of there! Lmao
Wired the whole trip smashing through villages absolute legend
"Local Militia" highly doubt.
Why does he occasionally use Russian words when talking to South Americans?
Imagine sitting there going about your normal day and this wackadoo wanders onto your property wearing that goofy hat carrying a bag of coke leaves. Did you hit your head recently?
Russia is so much more friendly. unexpected
8:08 bullet holes ?
Go back to Russia and film something about abandoned russian space shuttles
I'd love to see a show about The Zany Misadventures of Kebi and France.
You Sir, are one very brave individual.
Much respect !
I appreciate what your doing and I thank you for sharing