To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining. For more videos click the JOIN button.
I'm biromantic asexual, but when asked I just say I'm bi because after 21 years, I am beyond tired of explaining all of this to people. Channels like this are certainly needed for those like me who are also exhausted with essentially being walking dictionaries. 😑
Wow, this video is so necessary. I found myself bi-ace only this year, in my 36 years old, because I had no information to be able to really understand myself. Things came very slowly for me, unfortunately. I'm glad that now we have more about it, like you, Mark, doing your amazing job. Thank you very much from the heart 💗💜💙 🖤🤍💜
Oh gosh thank you so so much for your kind and encouraging words. I'm so grateful and glad it resonates. Big congratulations for coming into yourself and understanding who you are more this year. 36 is a fab age and there is so much ahead of you to enjoy. I'm so excited for what's to come as you move into this beautiful new phase of your life. If you're ever able to share this or any of my videos I would always be truly grateful, otherwise I'm just so happy you're here. Much love from Mark x
So glad that ive found this video! thanks for mentioning the possibility to be biromantic and somewhere on the ace spectrum! thanks for saying, that i do exist!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
I spent a lot of my life telling myself I was 'fussy' (also my mother telling me) until I bonded with a bi-curious/ questioning man because we both questioned if we were asexual because we were almost never attracted to anyone. I've always known I was bisexual and interested in both sex and romance but now recognising I'm sort of on the asexual spectrum in this very particular way was helpful and clarifying. I am hypersesexual in my drive and absolutely not demisexual but it's extremely hard to find people I am either sexually or romantically drawn to (both is like gold dust). I carried around a lot of shame for never having had a boyfriend or girlfriend (I'm 33), but realising this has let me let go of that and understand myself.
As someone who’s ace in a straight passing relationship…I spent majority of my life thinking I was broken til I found Asexuality. My best friend is bi and is my emotional support person.
Beautifully said! I’m biromantic and homosexual. Growing up I found this really hard to accept. I now identify as queer. I like the fluidity if it but not many people recognise it as real. I tend to gravitate more to bisexuals or pan people because I feel like there is more understanding 💖
Hey thanks so much for your lovely comment. I absolutely love biromantic homosexual people! You are maybe my favourite so hurray for that. Sending you so much love today and thanks for speaking your truth and identity out here. Many people read and connect with the comments so you are making a beautiful contribution. All my love, Mark x
I'm so grateful for this video! I'm a 32 yo M who identifies as a Biromantic Ace. For most of my life, I just assumed that I was the odd ball out. I knew I was not straight, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what I was. I first encountered the term asexual when I was 29, and it clicked. I thought I had my answer. But then I fell deeply in love with a man. We were intimate, but it was more because I felt closer to him and knew he liked it. But I knew deep down that there was something he was experiencing that I could not. I just call myself Bi because people seem to grasp that easier than the Ace part. They assume as soon as I say I'm Ace, I will never be intimate, which is not true. The other thing is that when I came out to my family, they were overall accepting. But they still keep saying "it's okay you're Bi--you just have to find the right woman and settle down." I can't control who I fall in love with...
I figured out only a few weeks ago that I'm pretty sure I'm panromantic/pansexual and demisexual. I'm 26, I only truly began experiencing sexual attraction to someone this year, after I had formed a significant bond with them. It has been a bond years in the making. I didn't even know until this year what real sexual attraction was, I just assumed that's what my libido was for my whole life. So many things that I never understood make sense to me now. The way I've interacted with other people, my understanding of sex, my absolute cluelessness to the fact other people might find me attractive, etc. It all makes sense now. I wish I had learned about these different sections of the sexuality spectrum earlier, but am glad I have learned as early as I have, i know many people don't figure things out until much later. Representation is so, so important. Thank you for this video :)
Hey I'm so proud of you. You are part of our community here and I'm super grateful for your sharing your unique identity here with us. Sending much love x
Thank you for making this 💗💜💙 I really like how you say bi and ace people relate to one another in being pretty much universally misunderstood. Being bi and gender-nonconforming, I get endless questions, along with people telling me it's all a phase. I am so tired of constantly explaining myself and I hope more people see content like this and that we get more visibility. We are all valid! 💗💜💙
I am both bisexual and biromantic, but I have a friend that says she is bisexual but heteroromantic. Sje told me this almost 20 yrs ago and it was my first intro to the ace-spectrum.
yes. ACE and BI are ignored a lot by the rest of the community but it is starting to change... which is good but still more work needs to be done. i hate when people say ACE or BI do not face hatred like other people in the community!?!?!?... OKAY HAVE A NICE DAY!.... smh and i also feel like the ACE doesn't get understood by people... there is literally SEX NEUTRAL, SEX FAVORABLE and SEX REPUSLIVE personalities.... they are all different. even like you said being BI is not just i like men and women it is a spectrum that is insanely diverse !!
I am biromantic (though technically more alterous than romantic) and asexual -- but didn’t even know either was a possibility until last year... I'm 44 and was in an abusive marriage from the time I was 17 until I was 41 -- but I thought I was married until I was 43 (long story)... I never dated - never had the desire to date - and only married because I was told it was "God's Will" - I was only in the same state as my ex for about 2 weeks before we were married. For my entire life after that I had no idea why I was so "broken". Turns out I'm not broken - I'm just completely asexual... and I'm actually drawn to female and non binary presenting folks more than males for relationships. Go figure. If I had seen any representation growing up, my life would have been so different.
Yes! Bi-Ace Solidarity! I'm so here for it! I've felt I always clicked with the few asexuals I've met over my life, more than with many queer people from other sexual orientations. I'm a bi man myself (:
Thank you for this, for years. I thought something was wrong with me. Ppl kept telling me I’m just depressed and I’m actually happy. I just don’t have any want or need to have sex with anyone. I’m also not attracted to people in the way where I look at them and I get turned on.
Thanks a lot for the informative video. Keep up the great work. I just wanted to open up about something I am struggling with these days. Despite knowing the truth, I feel this disconnect from my masculinity as if my queerness makes me less of a man. The only person I rely on who affirms my masculinity is me yet it feels so good to hear from you to seek support.
Kuldeep thank you so much for your kind words and for tuning in. Totally hear you on feeling that sense of disconnect from your masculinity. Totally natural sometimes. Don't worry. You mentioned that you feel sometimes like your queerness makes you less of a man. Think of it this way. Your queerness is inside, right? It is part of your persona, your identity, your pschology. Your body is masculine. Right? You have a man's body. Period. That's it. So you are a man. You have a man's body, you are a man. Your queerness is just part of your persona so accepting it, loving it and being super proud of it will make you a man and it will make you a confident man. Being ashamed or nervous about your queerness will make you a man, but a non confident man, as you are feeling right now. You are a man. There is no question of that. You are masculine. Accepting, embracing, loving and being super confident in your queerness IS what will make you confident in your masculinity. I know it seems counter productive because people say being queer makes you less of a man men say many things make you less of a man. They're just trying to get one up on you. Being masculine is not about agreeing with them and saying "ah yes I guess I am less of a man..." NO WAY, it's about saying "absolutely screw you, I'm totally awesome in who I am, I am my own brand of manhood, my own brand of masculinity, I have this super sexy masculine adult male body and I am super solid and comfortable with who I am inside". Boom. Loving your masculinity. Remember masculinity NEVER comes from trying to be someone else. It comes from loving and defending what's within. What do you think? Happy to chat more. Sending so much love to you my amazing man. Queer masculinity is hot and awesome. Don't let them dim your shine.
@@notdefining Thank you so much for that gentle reminder. Its like colour blue has got hundreds of different shades and every single shade is a valid blue in its own way. Shaming others is a projection of insecurity. We live in a nasty world, especially being a minority we face so much discrimination and hear dirty comments made about us. It's hard and seldom scary to be your true self yet it's one of the most liberating things to do. Sometimes its my own mind which tends to focus more on the negative certainties (irl I am surrounded with very supportive people).
@@kuldeepvsoni Hey I'm really proud of you. I consider you my brother therefore I'm always here if you're feeling down or struggling. It's great to find peace and find our authentic joy - you're doing that so amazingly well - but sometimes of course we have rough moments and that's okay too. I love you so much man and just want you to know you don't have to have it all figured out. You're enough just the way you are. In your incompleteness. We all are. Sending big hugs x
Thanks so much I just realized this year that I am bi-ace. My sexually has always been so confusing for me until I realized that I was ace. Thank you so much for this info! 💜💜🩶🩶
Oh my word, is that a thing? Is that a term? I LOVE THAT! I’m that!! That’s me. I’m a pancake!!! And I love pancakes 🥞. Wow. Thank you. You just educated me.
You didn´t mention one thing which is very obvious to me: we feel in a way the same about all genders. I know many ace people (me included), who thought they were bi, because they didn´t feel very strongly about either gender and thus assumed (because many people don´t know asexuality is a thing) we have to be bi.
Hey mark I have hocd. And recently I have been more obsessed about being bi becuase I started to beleive I wasn’t gay. And I have a question I have had tingling down there sometimes. It used to be mostly just with guys like 99% of the time with guys I can only rember one incident when it was with a girl. But recently ever since I have been obessing about bi it’s more like 50-50 do you think this could be ocd trying to convince me I’m bi?
Hey thanks for reaching out. It could be OCD yes. Sometimes OCD can cause tingling sensations that feel like genuine arousal but it's more of a nervous adrenaline or an anxious feeling of excitement or confused attraction.
Hey thanks so much for sharing your identity on the page. Lots of people I know will relate. For example me! I'm kind of the same. Sending all the best to you in your fabulous uniqueness. Mark x
Hey mark I have a question. I have hocd and have been obessing and obessing for months now and I remembered that I used to watch a lot of transsexuaI por but I never felt attracted to guys in real life while I was watching it. I’m just wondering if the fact that I got off to it means I’m bi . I have been straight my whole life btw
Hey please help I have very important question. Let’s say I like aestheticly men and women (not all). But I feel same way good looking decoration/statue. I don’t like penetrating and sex is most animal thing we do. (I’m not virgin unfortunately) But I’m really like to engage both genders. I prefer partner who is not going to sexually engage with me instead of man or woman. Who the f am I😅? Am I bi or Ace
I discovered I'm aromantic asexual, but I still have somewhat of a libido, which is different from sexual attraction, but it's easy to get the 2 confused. Which is why it took me awhile to realize.
![ARGENTINA vs. BOLIVIA [6-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/C3wPtKNbAOA/mqdefault.jpg)
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
I'm biromantic asexual, but when asked I just say I'm bi because after 21 years, I am beyond tired of explaining all of this to people. Channels like this are certainly needed for those like me who are also exhausted with essentially being walking dictionaries. 😑
Hey I’m so glad it is helpful. I will keep making content until we don’t have to explain ourselves any more.
Wow, this video is so necessary. I found myself bi-ace only this year, in my 36 years old, because I had no information to be able to really understand myself. Things came very slowly for me, unfortunately. I'm glad that now we have more about it, like you, Mark, doing your amazing job. Thank you very much from the heart 💗💜💙 🖤🤍💜
Oh gosh thank you so so much for your kind and encouraging words. I'm so grateful and glad it resonates. Big congratulations for coming into yourself and understanding who you are more this year. 36 is a fab age and there is so much ahead of you to enjoy. I'm so excited for what's to come as you move into this beautiful new phase of your life. If you're ever able to share this or any of my videos I would always be truly grateful, otherwise I'm just so happy you're here. Much love from Mark x
So glad that ive found this video! thanks for mentioning the possibility to be biromantic and somewhere on the ace spectrum! thanks for saying, that i do exist!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
@Bea-ex1yf you definitely exist.
@@notdefining thank you so much!!!!
I spent a lot of my life telling myself I was 'fussy' (also my mother telling me) until I bonded with a bi-curious/ questioning man because we both questioned if we were asexual because we were almost never attracted to anyone. I've always known I was bisexual and interested in both sex and romance but now recognising I'm sort of on the asexual spectrum in this very particular way was helpful and clarifying. I am hypersesexual in my drive and absolutely not demisexual but it's extremely hard to find people I am either sexually or romantically drawn to (both is like gold dust). I carried around a lot of shame for never having had a boyfriend or girlfriend (I'm 33), but realising this has let me let go of that and understand myself.
As someone who’s ace in a straight passing relationship…I spent majority of my life thinking I was broken til I found Asexuality. My best friend is bi and is my emotional support person.
Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad you found this support.
Beautifully said! I’m biromantic and homosexual. Growing up I found this really hard to accept. I now identify as queer. I like the fluidity if it but not many people recognise it as real. I tend to gravitate more to bisexuals or pan people because I feel like there is more understanding 💖
Hey thanks so much for your lovely comment. I absolutely love biromantic homosexual people! You are maybe my favourite so hurray for that. Sending you so much love today and thanks for speaking your truth and identity out here. Many people read and connect with the comments so you are making a beautiful contribution. All my love, Mark x
I'm so grateful for this video! I'm a 32 yo M who identifies as a Biromantic Ace. For most of my life, I just assumed that I was the odd ball out. I knew I was not straight, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what I was. I first encountered the term asexual when I was 29, and it clicked. I thought I had my answer. But then I fell deeply in love with a man. We were intimate, but it was more because I felt closer to him and knew he liked it. But I knew deep down that there was something he was experiencing that I could not. I just call myself Bi because people seem to grasp that easier than the Ace part. They assume as soon as I say I'm Ace, I will never be intimate, which is not true. The other thing is that when I came out to my family, they were overall accepting. But they still keep saying "it's okay you're Bi--you just have to find the right woman and settle down." I can't control who I fall in love with...
Woah, the algorithm must know me very well to recommend this to me, a bi ace guy-- thank you for the video! Love and hugs from Norway!
Hey I'm so glad you found us. Sending much love.
I figured out only a few weeks ago that I'm pretty sure I'm panromantic/pansexual and demisexual. I'm 26, I only truly began experiencing sexual attraction to someone this year, after I had formed a significant bond with them. It has been a bond years in the making.
I didn't even know until this year what real sexual attraction was, I just assumed that's what my libido was for my whole life. So many things that I never understood make sense to me now. The way I've interacted with other people, my understanding of sex, my absolute cluelessness to the fact other people might find me attractive, etc. It all makes sense now. I wish I had learned about these different sections of the sexuality spectrum earlier, but am glad I have learned as early as I have, i know many people don't figure things out until much later. Representation is so, so important. Thank you for this video :)
Hey I'm so proud of you. You are part of our community here and I'm super grateful for your sharing your unique identity here with us. Sending much love x
Thank you for making this 💗💜💙 I really like how you say bi and ace people relate to one another in being pretty much universally misunderstood. Being bi and gender-nonconforming, I get endless questions, along with people telling me it's all a phase. I am so tired of constantly explaining myself and I hope more people see content like this and that we get more visibility. We are all valid! 💗💜💙
I hope this too. Thank you for your kind words.
I am both bisexual and biromantic, but I have a friend that says she is bisexual but heteroromantic. Sje told me this almost 20 yrs ago and it was my first intro to the ace-spectrum.
Hey thanks for sharing. That's great. I'm so glad we can share and relate.
As an ace and grey panromantic person,, I thought this was a really great video♡
Hey thanks so much for saying. I'm delighted that you liked it.
yes. ACE and BI are ignored a lot by the rest of the community but it is starting to change... which is good but still more work needs to be done. i hate when people say ACE or BI do not face hatred like other people in the community!?!?!?... OKAY HAVE A NICE DAY!.... smh and i also feel like the ACE doesn't get understood by people... there is literally SEX NEUTRAL, SEX FAVORABLE and SEX REPUSLIVE personalities.... they are all different. even like you said being BI is not just i like men and women it is a spectrum that is insanely diverse !!
Totally agree. Well said.
I am biromantic (though technically more alterous than romantic) and asexual -- but didn’t even know either was a possibility until last year... I'm 44 and was in an abusive marriage from the time I was 17 until I was 41 -- but I thought I was married until I was 43 (long story)... I never dated - never had the desire to date - and only married because I was told it was "God's Will" - I was only in the same state as my ex for about 2 weeks before we were married. For my entire life after that I had no idea why I was so "broken". Turns out I'm not broken - I'm just completely asexual... and I'm actually drawn to female and non binary presenting folks more than males for relationships. Go figure. If I had seen any representation growing up, my life would have been so different.
Yes! Bi-Ace Solidarity! I'm so here for it!
I've felt I always clicked with the few asexuals I've met over my life, more than with many queer people from other sexual orientations.
I'm a bi man myself (:
Omg yay thanks.
\o/ Wooooo Bi-Ace Alliance!
Fellow Bi-Ace woman here and I’m all for this too. ❤️💜💙🖤🩶🤍💜
Thank you for this, for years. I thought something was wrong with me. Ppl kept telling me I’m just depressed and I’m actually happy. I just don’t have any want or need to have sex with anyone. I’m also not attracted to people in the way where I look at them and I get turned on.
I’m so glad you realised there’s nothing wrong with you. You are fantastic and perfect just the way you are.
Thanks a lot for the informative video. Keep up the great work. I just wanted to open up about something I am struggling with these days. Despite knowing the truth, I feel this disconnect from my masculinity as if my queerness makes me less of a man. The only person I rely on who affirms my masculinity is me yet it feels so good to hear from you to seek support.
Kuldeep thank you so much for your kind words and for tuning in. Totally hear you on feeling that sense of disconnect from your masculinity. Totally natural sometimes. Don't worry. You mentioned that you feel sometimes like your queerness makes you less of a man. Think of it this way.
Your queerness is inside, right? It is part of your persona, your identity, your pschology.
Your body is masculine. Right? You have a man's body. Period. That's it.
So you are a man. You have a man's body, you are a man.
Your queerness is just part of your persona so accepting it, loving it and being super proud of it will make you a man and it will make you a confident man.
Being ashamed or nervous about your queerness will make you a man, but a non confident man, as you are feeling right now.
You are a man. There is no question of that. You are masculine.
Accepting, embracing, loving and being super confident in your queerness IS what will make you confident in your masculinity.
I know it seems counter productive because people say being queer makes you less of a man men say many things make you less of a man. They're just trying to get one up on you. Being masculine is not about agreeing with them and saying "ah yes I guess I am less of a man..." NO WAY, it's about saying "absolutely screw you, I'm totally awesome in who I am, I am my own brand of manhood, my own brand of masculinity, I have this super sexy masculine adult male body and I am super solid and comfortable with who I am inside".
Boom. Loving your masculinity.
Remember masculinity NEVER comes from trying to be someone else. It comes from loving and defending what's within.
What do you think? Happy to chat more. Sending so much love to you my amazing man. Queer masculinity is hot and awesome. Don't let them dim your shine.
@@notdefining Thank you so much for that gentle reminder. Its like colour blue has got hundreds of different shades and every single shade is a valid blue in its own way. Shaming others is a projection of insecurity. We live in a nasty world, especially being a minority we face so much discrimination and hear dirty comments made about us. It's hard and seldom scary to be your true self yet it's one of the most liberating things to do. Sometimes its my own mind which tends to focus more on the negative certainties (irl I am surrounded with very supportive people).
@@kuldeepvsoni Hey I'm really proud of you. I consider you my brother therefore I'm always here if you're feeling down or struggling. It's great to find peace and find our authentic joy - you're doing that so amazingly well - but sometimes of course we have rough moments and that's okay too. I love you so much man and just want you to know you don't have to have it all figured out. You're enough just the way you are. In your incompleteness. We all are. Sending big hugs x
I have the same feelings for men, women and nonbinary ppl, i just don't know if they are sexual or not. So yeah, i identity as bi and ace
Hey thanks for sharing this, you are so valid.
Very validating. Thank you 😊💜
Thank YOU for validating my content.
Thanks so much I just realized this year that I am bi-ace. My sexually has always been so confusing for me until I realized that I was ace. Thank you so much for this info! 💜💜🩶🩶
This was a beautiful post and thanks for sharing.
You are so welcome
I'm a pancake (asexual but possibly romantically compatible with every gender). This video was extremely fun and inspiring, thank you! 💜
Oh my word, is that a thing? Is that a term? I LOVE THAT! I’m that!! That’s me. I’m a pancake!!! And I love pancakes 🥞. Wow. Thank you. You just educated me.
that's such a clever name for that!! XD
Please, love it! Let's expand this name over the world. Pancake, it's lovely
You didn´t mention one thing which is very obvious to me: we feel in a way the same about all genders. I know many ace people (me included), who thought they were bi, because they didn´t feel very strongly about either gender and thus assumed (because many people don´t know asexuality is a thing) we have to be bi.
Demi-bi here! Thanks for the video. I feel more representated now 😊
Hey thanks for saying. I feel represented too because of your comment. Grey-bi here.
I'm an aroace woman but I find it interesting that the only person I ever experienced romantic attraction towards is a bi man.
It’s because we’re awesome. 😂😍🤘🏽🩷
Since I’m happy being by myself I don’t relate to what others think about me
Love this
Doing a great job. Keep it up.
Do you know, this makes me so happy thank you. You really made my day.
The bi-ace alliance strikes again! XD
Yesssss. Love this.
Lately, I am ACE-curious? Bi, but now wondering if I might have some ACE fluidity. Is that a thing? I feel like it is a thing.
you could be aceflux !
1:34 What about the "I"? Could you expand on that? I don't know much about that, either!
This is a great video about that. images.app.goo.gl/gdGLkCnsyB3sAGNY8
4:19 Question: What about being "pansexual" vs. "bisexual"?
Just curious.
Thanks!
Good question. Check out this video I made all about it. ruclips.net/video/j48rnO_vBVs/видео.htmlsi=wjil_6mhcJaOmu7C
Hey mark I have hocd. And recently I have been more obsessed about being bi becuase I started to beleive I wasn’t gay. And I have a question I have had tingling down there sometimes. It used to be mostly just with guys like 99% of the time with guys I can only rember one incident when it was with a girl. But recently ever since I have been obessing about bi it’s more like 50-50 do you think this could be ocd trying to convince me I’m bi?
Hey thanks for reaching out. It could be OCD yes. Sometimes OCD can cause tingling sensations that feel like genuine arousal but it's more of a nervous adrenaline or an anxious feeling of excitement or confused attraction.
Lol l am bi and greysexual so yeah the can cross good video
Hey thanks so much for sharing your identity on the page. Lots of people I know will relate. For example me! I'm kind of the same. Sending all the best to you in your fabulous uniqueness. Mark x
Well said!!!!
Hey thanks so much
Hey mark I have a question. I have hocd and have been obessing and obessing for months now and I remembered that I used to watch a lot of transsexuaI por but I never felt attracted to guys in real life while I was watching it. I’m just wondering if the fact that I got off to it means I’m bi . I have been straight my whole life btw
Hey thanks so much for reaching out. What you have experienced is entirely normal and does not make you bi.
Really excellent
Oh hey thank you so much! This has made my day.
Hey please help I have very important question. Let’s say I like aestheticly men and women (not all). But I feel same way good looking decoration/statue. I don’t like penetrating and sex is most animal thing we do. (I’m not virgin unfortunately) But I’m really like to engage both genders. I prefer partner who is not going to sexually engage with me instead of man or woman. Who the f am I😅? Am I bi or Ace
Hey thanks for sharing. Many people are both on the bi and ace spectrums. It sounds like you may be biromantic asexual?
Are there such categories as heterosexuality? Can you explain that on your next content ?
Love you lots ❤️💜💙
Ah babe thanks so much. Sending all the love back.
I discovered I'm aromantic asexual, but I still have somewhat of a libido, which is different from sexual attraction, but it's easy to get the 2 confused. Which is why it took me awhile to realize.