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I agree with what you wrote, I didn't think I could define myself as bisexual because "everyone is a little bit bisexual" and I didn't realize that even if I'm not attracted to men with the same intensity, the same frequency, or characteristics that are considered "masculine" in heteronormativity, that doesn't mean that there aren't men that I will not be attracted to them. So thanks for that.
Wow bro as a bi myself when i watch your videos its like magically you know how im feeling you definitely deserve more subs you always make my day thank you❤
Thank you so much for every video you post. Anytime I want to feel less like an extra-terrestrial, I put on one of your videos and just float away on a cloud of, "Exactly! This guy knows what's up. I am one of countless others who experience the world this way. I'm not an alien at all." 😅❤
Wow, thank you! This has made my day. I’m so grateful to you for tuning in and for your kind words. I used to feel that way too and that’s the sole reason I made this channel. So that no one has to feel that way I did. Big love to you my friend. You’re so welcome and you belong in this community.
I was in a hetrosexual relationship for years but was openly bisexual what offended me were my friends that would ask if i was only saying i was bisexual to please my boyfriend at the time.
Thank you so much for making this video Mark, I absolutely love when you make these videos because they're obviously so important. Also, I just wanna say thank you for your help on Instagram. I was feeling really down when I messaged you and needed a boost and you definitely came through for me. You're the best. ❤
@@BeautyMonster1000 hey omg thank you so much for these kind words. I’m always here for ya! I hope we can make some more content soon together. From September I’m going to have much more time. Sending so much love and hoping you’re doing okay.
I’m 29, married with a four year old son. I’ve finally just told people I’m bisexual. I have queer family now I can finally say I am too it’s a celebration. Just sad that biphobia is a thing, as well as all other phobias against queer and minority people. I really need an LGBTQ+ channel I can trust without any gatekeepers or bitches. I don’t think there’s that many or maybe I’ve found the wrong channels. I think this is. I don’t quite feel I belong yet like I haven’t earned it, I hope to change that. Ready to learn sensai (probably been watching too much Cobra Kai).
Yes!! All of this Mark!! We exist and we ain't going nowhere! As someone who is demi and bi, it's annoying when people just assume that I'll be interested in every single person I meet.
I’m afab and mostly femme presenting. I was out at work many years ago and kept getting bs dumped on me by a cis-het femme coworker until I looked at her and said, “honey, who died and made you attractive?” We were just about besties after that.
Not so much time ago, a "friend" to whom I didn't come out (because, hear hear! you don't need to come out to everyone if you don't feel like it, you don't owe your life details to anyone else), while chatting, said to me "well, now being straight is out of fashion". I cannot tell you how I felt after that phrase was thrown...also because when I met her more than half her friends were open and proud gays...that phrase made me be glad that I wasn't open with her on a lot of things (something that happened later made me also realize that whatever I'll tell her can be used against me with other people, so yeah...she's a "friend"...with a lot of doubt in that)... unfortunately, that hindered me also in telling some other people that I think might be more accepting...I'm not out to my close family, since my mother always made homophobic and transphovic comments when I grew up (she's getting metter, but not to the point that she can accept her daughter being anything different from her mind picture - and I am, so so much already...), my sister is quite judgy and unable to shut the f down, and my father, who is the coolest one in the picture and probably would be okay, cannot keep anything from my mother...there are other people in my family that I trust more, and to some I've said (and one of my cousin answered me with the "we're all a little bi", but it was cool from her, because she told me years ago that she had attraction for another woman, and she didn't mean that in a dismissing way)...but yeah, the worst thing for me is to hear that it's just a "trendy" thing...sorry for my rant...
I absolutely love this list! Thank you! I have had all these things said to me so much- that I genuinely have started to think they’re true 😢 “You’re just gay and that’s fine.” “You’re confused?” “Are you sure?” “All of us gays are going out tonight!” “Have you slept with women?”
Savage Comebacks: - “Bisexuality doesn’t exist.” - You know what doesn’t exist? A Time Machine to prevent you being conceived - “Pick a side!” - Yeah, I did. It’s called not being a douchebag.
As a bisexual, do you consider yourself queer? One time ingot called out when I called a bisexual man „queer“ because he said that as a bisexual man, he didn’t need to come out like Transpeople for example. So for him, labeling him as „queer“ is a no no. Also because he might be married to a female? But he still very openly bisexual.
Queer is a loaded word IME. A lot of it can depend upon the person’s age. Some Traditionalists, Boomers, and Gen-Xers may find it distasteful because it was such a horrific pejorative phrase when we were kids. (I’m Gen-X FWIW.) Personally I prefer queer, LGBTQI+, or alphabet mafia as they are more inclusive to my whole identity, not just my sexuality.
My favorite is always a good old "no you're not." You think I'm not just really good at passing? I didn't come out until I was 30, I'm not just all the sudden, it took me 30 whole years to work it out on my own. I don't know how bisexuals are supposed to act. I just act like me. I have an addiction to loudly patterned shirts, I don't know how to be more bisexual.
I heard cuffed jeans are, like, the official uniform or something. Funnily enough, I often used my jeans like that, even before I realized I was bi, because I'm short and too lazy to have them adjusted.
1:14 I’m a flaming homosexual and I’ve been asked “Are you sure?” In many Indian households, it’s some version of “Is it a figment of the imagination?”
As a bisexual man, if a person ever ask me "are you sure you are bi?", I would love asking back "are you sure you are straight?" and see their reaction xD
I have question i what be both women and men but i have always love mens from day i was born to now what cause me to have crushs for women was storylines in tv soaps like eastenders and emmerdale coronation street and staff number in my old work who is lesbian cause me have fancy her then my mum was questioning me about it. i was getting so annoyed and upset and my mum was i a lesbian because i didn't tell her i crushs for girls too like boys i didn't what come out to her and my dad in heaven so i can't really tell him that i like girls too and i love and fancy singer peter andre who sing mysterious girl so much and i got cursh on girl who i know from school but she got boyfriend and her dad knows my dad who died who 2011 from lung Abscess cause by his drinking and i got crush on girl from 90 day fiance call Erika Owens i am in problem and i got autism too so don't know what to do about it
what should i do i dont what do with my Sexuality is because i was question by my mum in 2019 because their was staff number in my work who was lesbian i fancy her a bit but then i was getting ask if i fancy womens i stay to my mum no and my mum was asking was i lesbian i stay no i was getting pea off with me and my mum where swearing each other because that reason i dont speck to people about what my Sexuality is And another things my mum was staying to would you kiss girl i stay no to her but then i was thinking it like kissing boy. I know i will always fancy boys but i have feelings for girls too what your thoughts on it thank you for your time love from jess xxx ps i have autism and heart defects call tetralogy of fallot i fancy 3 boys call my mum friend sue son jack and my ex friend morgan and and my ex boyfriend Stephen who sadly is dating someone else but he will always love of my life and i fancy girl Layla who i knows from school please help me understand xxxx
@@Jess-wk5jo hey thanks so much for reaching out. I am autistic too. Many of us are on the bi spectrum. Your mum may be trying to help but she does not have the authority to say what your orientation is. It sounds to me like you have feelings for men and women. So that’s what you have. Try to focus on just feeling and validating whatever you feel and don’t pressure yourself to put a label on it. Don’t let anyone tell you what you are. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with. If you want to identify as bi then you can. We welcome you. 🩷💜💙
@@notdefiningi what be both women and men but i have always love mens from day i was born to now what cause me to have crushs for women was storylines in tv soaps like eastenders and emmerdale coronation street and staff number in my old work who is lesbian cause me have fancy her then my mum was questioning me about it. i was getting so annoyed and upset and my mum was i a lesbian because i didn't tell her i crushs for girls too like boys i didn't what come out to her and my dad in heaven so i can't really tell him that i like girls too and i love and fancy singer peter andre who sing mysterious girl so much and i got cursh on girl who i know from school but she got boyfriend and her dad knows my dad who died who 2011 from lung Abscess cause by his drinking and i got crush on girl from 90 day fiance call Erika Owens i am in problem and i got autism too so don't know what to do about it
@@PureHairdressing-k7w “they” has two uses in English. It can mean plural but it can also mean singular where the gender is not specified. For example, “someone lost their phone, I think they dropped it in the floor, could I leave it here so you can give it back to them if they come back for it?” You will use it yourself guaranteed, but it’s so natural that you don’t have to think about it. So using “they” for someone who doesn’t wish to specify their gender is completely normal. I know it can be a bit difficult to get used to. That’s okay. As long as we respect people. Does that answer the question.
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
The only valid response to someone who comes out as bisexual is: “Let’s watch ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’!”
@@PokhrajRoy. this is probably my favourite comment ever. Lololol. I love this.
@@notdefining You’re welcome ☺️
The Mummy will work great too
@@valeriapopova5122I second the Mummy!
When people question bisexuality, my favorite thing is to ask them how they want me to prove it to them.
@@jwb52z9 omg this. Living for this.
HAHAHAHAH
I agree with what you wrote, I didn't think I could define myself as bisexual because "everyone is a little bit bisexual" and I didn't realize that even if I'm not attracted to men with the same intensity, the same frequency, or characteristics that are considered "masculine" in heteronormativity, that doesn't mean that there aren't men that I will not be attracted to them. So thanks for that.
Wow bro as a bi myself when i watch your videos its like magically you know how im feeling you definitely deserve more subs you always make my day thank you❤
Thank you so much 😀 omg this made my day. If you can ever share any of my videos I would be so grateful. Otherwise just thank you for being here.
@notdefining no problem im so glad i made your day wish you the best❤️
As an Asexual who has seen similar things said about us online, I'm here for you Bi's. You have all my support 🌈❤️💜
Thank you so much
I am bi and sapiosexual. You might think being bi would make it easier to find someone, but it doesn't.
Agree
Totally feel you on this
Thank you so much for every video you post. Anytime I want to feel less like an extra-terrestrial, I put on one of your videos and just float away on a cloud of, "Exactly! This guy knows what's up. I am one of countless others who experience the world this way. I'm not an alien at all." 😅❤
Wow, thank you! This has made my day. I’m so grateful to you for tuning in and for your kind words. I used to feel that way too and that’s the sole reason I made this channel. So that no one has to feel that way I did. Big love to you my friend. You’re so welcome and you belong in this community.
I hate it when people say you are confused or it's awful
Me too
I was in a hetrosexual relationship for years but was openly bisexual what offended me were my friends that would ask if i was only saying i was bisexual to please my boyfriend at the time.
Thank you so much for making this video Mark, I absolutely love when you make these videos because they're obviously so important. Also, I just wanna say thank you for your help on Instagram. I was feeling really down when I messaged you and needed a boost and you definitely came through for me. You're the best. ❤
@@BeautyMonster1000 hey omg thank you so much for these kind words. I’m always here for ya! I hope we can make some more content soon together. From September I’m going to have much more time. Sending so much love and hoping you’re doing okay.
As a Bisexual guy Two things i hate when say to me is "Do you prefer men or women?" And "Pick a side"
Omg yes me too.
@@notdefining apparently people don't know what Bisexual means.
I’m 29, married with a four year old son.
I’ve finally just told people I’m bisexual.
I have queer family now I can finally say I am too it’s a celebration.
Just sad that biphobia is a thing, as well as all other phobias against queer and minority people.
I really need an LGBTQ+ channel I can trust without any gatekeepers or bitches.
I don’t think there’s that many or maybe I’ve found the wrong channels.
I think this is.
I don’t quite feel I belong yet like I haven’t earned it, I hope to change that.
Ready to learn sensai (probably been watching too much Cobra Kai).
Yes!! All of this Mark!! We exist and we ain't going nowhere!
As someone who is demi and bi, it's annoying when people just assume that I'll be interested in every single person I meet.
Like we don't have standards and for some of us, preferences, like lots of other people do. Some people treat us like we're not even human, I swear.
@@bklynkat23 omg yessss. Totally. Thanks for saying.
I’m afab and mostly femme presenting. I was out at work many years ago and kept getting bs dumped on me by a cis-het femme coworker until I looked at her and said, “honey, who died and made you attractive?” We were just about besties after that.
Not so much time ago, a "friend" to whom I didn't come out (because, hear hear! you don't need to come out to everyone if you don't feel like it, you don't owe your life details to anyone else), while chatting, said to me "well, now being straight is out of fashion". I cannot tell you how I felt after that phrase was thrown...also because when I met her more than half her friends were open and proud gays...that phrase made me be glad that I wasn't open with her on a lot of things (something that happened later made me also realize that whatever I'll tell her can be used against me with other people, so yeah...she's a "friend"...with a lot of doubt in that)... unfortunately, that hindered me also in telling some other people that I think might be more accepting...I'm not out to my close family, since my mother always made homophobic and transphovic comments when I grew up (she's getting metter, but not to the point that she can accept her daughter being anything different from her mind picture - and I am, so so much already...), my sister is quite judgy and unable to shut the f down, and my father, who is the coolest one in the picture and probably would be okay, cannot keep anything from my mother...there are other people in my family that I trust more, and to some I've said (and one of my cousin answered me with the "we're all a little bi", but it was cool from her, because she told me years ago that she had attraction for another woman, and she didn't mean that in a dismissing way)...but yeah, the worst thing for me is to hear that it's just a "trendy" thing...sorry for my rant...
My notebook is ready. I do slip up occasionally.
I absolutely love this list! Thank you!
I have had all these things said to me so much- that I genuinely have started to think they’re true 😢
“You’re just gay and that’s fine.”
“You’re confused?”
“Are you sure?”
“All of us gays are going out tonight!”
“Have you slept with women?”
@@viridian_nights hey thanks for sharing your experience. It’s just mad isn’t it?
I am a simple person.
I am a bi. I see this. I click.
@@DatBiBish love it. Thank you for clicking.
When I was a kid in the 80s and a teenager in most of the 90s, people actually thought being bi was imaginary.
Savage Comebacks:
- “Bisexuality doesn’t exist.” - You know what doesn’t exist? A Time Machine to prevent you being conceived
- “Pick a side!” - Yeah, I did. It’s called not being a douchebag.
@@PokhrajRoy. omg I need to make a video of savage comebacks! I love this.
@@notdefining Happy to help
FACTS!!!
Ah thank you so much for watching. Please share if you can. Big love 🩷💜💙
As a bisexual, do you consider yourself queer? One time ingot called out when I called a bisexual man „queer“ because he said that as a bisexual man, he didn’t need to come out like Transpeople for example. So for him, labeling him as „queer“ is a no no. Also because he might be married to a female? But he still very openly bisexual.
@@randcurrymandy I idenitify as queer and bisexual. Some people use both but some people don’t. It’s totally valid either way.
Queer is a loaded word IME. A lot of it can depend upon the person’s age. Some Traditionalists, Boomers, and Gen-Xers may find it distasteful because it was such a horrific pejorative phrase when we were kids. (I’m Gen-X FWIW.) Personally I prefer queer, LGBTQI+, or alphabet mafia as they are more inclusive to my whole identity, not just my sexuality.
My favorite is always a good old "no you're not." You think I'm not just really good at passing? I didn't come out until I was 30, I'm not just all the sudden, it took me 30 whole years to work it out on my own. I don't know how bisexuals are supposed to act. I just act like me. I have an addiction to loudly patterned shirts, I don't know how to be more bisexual.
I heard cuffed jeans are, like, the official uniform or something.
Funnily enough, I often used my jeans like that, even before I realized I was bi, because I'm short and too lazy to have them adjusted.
Oh, and wearing your keys on a belt loop - particularly for femme bis.
@@cinthiagoch I don't have any jeans to cuff. I'm just a weird lady, maybe that's my problem. 😂
@@wareforcoin5780 Just be your weird wonderful self. No need to look or act any different. 😉
1:14 I’m a flaming homosexual and I’ve been asked “Are you sure?”
In many Indian households, it’s some version of “Is it a figment of the imagination?”
12:35 Friend of the channel Vaneet Mehta has a book that might clear up some doubts.
@@PokhrajRoy. oh yes. Vaneet is a great friend of ours.
“Yeah but really, you’re... I mean... right?”
😡😡😡
@@matthewmacdonaldchannel1 omg totally feel this.
As a bisexual man, if a person ever ask me "are you sure you are bi?", I would love asking back "are you sure you are straight?" and see their reaction xD
As a bisexual,
*Yes.*
10:37 Reminds me of Carrie from SATC. That one episode was just to be mean to younger people who might be bi (and queer people in general).
5:59 Guilty! I admit that I’ve goofed up on that score
I have question i what be both women and men but i have always love mens from day i was born to now what cause me to have crushs for women was storylines in tv soaps like eastenders and emmerdale coronation street and staff number in my old work who is lesbian cause me have fancy her then my mum was questioning me about it. i was getting so annoyed and upset and my mum was i a lesbian because i didn't tell her i crushs for girls too like boys i didn't what come out to her and my dad in heaven so i can't really tell him that i like girls too and i love and fancy singer peter andre who sing mysterious girl so much and i got cursh on girl who i know from school but she got boyfriend and her dad knows my dad who died who 2011 from lung Abscess cause by his drinking and i got crush on girl from 90 day fiance call Erika Owens i am in problem and i got autism too so don't know what to do about it
Well done for sharing your story. Keep sharing and connecting with people online to help you 😊
2:01 For me, it’s because I’m trying to answer the question: “So, you mean there’s a chance?” 😂
(But yes, it’s quite out of line)
@@PokhrajRoy. I feel you
what should i do i dont what do with my Sexuality is because i was question by my mum in 2019 because their was staff number in my work who was lesbian i fancy her a bit but then i was getting ask if i fancy womens i stay to my mum no and my mum was asking was i lesbian i stay no i was getting pea off with me and my mum where swearing each other because that reason i dont speck to people about what my Sexuality is And another things my mum was staying to would you kiss girl i stay no to her but then i was thinking it like kissing boy. I know i will always fancy boys but i have feelings for girls too what your thoughts on it thank you for your time love from jess xxx ps i have autism and heart defects call tetralogy of fallot i fancy 3 boys call my mum friend sue son jack and my ex friend morgan and and my ex boyfriend Stephen who sadly is dating someone else but he will always love of my life and i fancy girl Layla who i knows from school please help me understand xxxx
@@Jess-wk5jo hey thanks so much for reaching out. I am autistic too. Many of us are on the bi spectrum. Your mum may be trying to help but she does not have the authority to say what your orientation is. It sounds to me like you have feelings for men and women. So that’s what you have. Try to focus on just feeling and validating whatever you feel and don’t pressure yourself to put a label on it. Don’t let anyone tell you what you are. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with. If you want to identify as bi then you can. We welcome you. 🩷💜💙
@@notdefiningi what be both women and men but i have always love mens from day i was born to now what cause me to have crushs for women was storylines in tv soaps like eastenders and emmerdale coronation street and staff number in my old work who is lesbian cause me have fancy her then my mum was questioning me about it. i was getting so annoyed and upset and my mum was i a lesbian because i didn't tell her i crushs for girls too like boys i didn't what come out to her and my dad in heaven so i can't really tell him that i like girls too and i love and fancy singer peter andre who sing mysterious girl so much and i got cursh on girl who i know from school but she got boyfriend and her dad knows my dad who died who 2011 from lung Abscess cause by his drinking and i got crush on girl from 90 day fiance call Erika Owens i am in problem and i got autism too so don't know what to do about it
@@notdefiningi never see kiss girl before only boy wasn't snogging it one kiss on lips that all
they is plural how can you be 2 when your 1
@@PureHairdressing-k7w “they” has two uses in English. It can mean plural but it can also mean singular where the gender is not specified. For example, “someone lost their phone, I think they dropped it in the floor, could I leave it here so you can give it back to them if they come back for it?” You will use it yourself guaranteed, but it’s so natural that you don’t have to think about it. So using “they” for someone who doesn’t wish to specify their gender is completely normal. I know it can be a bit difficult to get used to. That’s okay. As long as we respect people. Does that answer the question.
@@notdefining No And No there are just 2 genders a person is he or she
@@PureHairdressing-k7wShakespeare used “they” as a singular pronoun, so we can too.
@@KB_Espy2009 if shakespeare put his hand in the fire you could do that too.
🩷💜💙