Sometimes when I see this discussion online I feel like that one Family Guy clip "Ugh, those straight parents went to pride month to support their kid, how embarrassing ." "Why are you so f*cking negative all the time?"
There was this time I really wanted to participate in a lgbt craft sale, I'm part of the lgbt and artsy, but my older sister wasn't (she's artsy but not lgbt) and we wernt allowed cuz she was straight and cis
The exception to this would be adult-only events at Pride. They do exist and Pride organizers make it abundantly clear when certain events or days are age-restricted.
Last year at pride I ran into a tipsy straight guy. I was in interesting makeup (mix between drag and sfx) and he complimented me. We got talking and he admitted that this was his first time not seeing queer people as an other, he’d never looked down on us, but he’d been scared to approach. But I’m from one of the gayest cities in the world, if you’re within a 3 mine radius of the parade, you’re at an event, and if you’re in any part of the city, you’ll see people coming and going to the event. That meant when he and his buddy had to go out, he had to cross through the parade route. He was welcomed with open arms, given food and water (very hot day), danced with, he’d been interacting with gay men for the first time in a context he knew they were gay, and it wasn’t the scary situation he’d been taught. He openly admitted the parade completely changed his view of queer people, and he’d made a couple friends who were gay that day. This alone is enough of a reason to allow straight people at events, it’s about community, and love, and he (just like many others) was able to see that.
What’s the difference between gay and queer? I feel like queer is more of a political identity these days rather than sexual orientation. The mainstream news media refuses to even use the word gay anymore, it’s all about the lgbtq+ umbrella now. Gay men get called transphobic for not wanting to date someone with a vagina, and lesbians are shamed for not wanting “girldick” - the activists complaining at gays for being same-sex attracted are incredibly homophobic.
I love this! I’ve experienced what I kinda jokingly refer to as “reverse gay panic” at times. I was at an art exhibit one day when I noticed an individual who appeared AMAB wearing more effeminate clothing. It was genuinely one of my first experiences realizing that I had no guess as to what they identified as and normally that’d be okay, I’d just naturally leave them be. But I LOVED their outfit and every time I came across them in the exhibit I was admiring the bold colors and the accessories and shoes. Around this time I’d also been given the therapy assignment to be more bold and outgoing, even with strangers. My therapist is a proponent of making a human connection, even if it’s just a compliment because “most people are flattered to hear someone say something kind about them!”. So I knew I wanted to say something. I ended up lowkey stalking them in the gift shop while I was trying to build up the courage to speak to them and also use “they/them” pronouns in conversation to be polite and make sure I wasn’t assuming. I walked up to them and started babbling and realized words were coming out and I didn’t know what exactly I was saying. But I guess my nervous babbling made sense because they brightened up more than their amazing outfit and were so kind to me. We then chatted about their shoes and how they usually don’t dress like that all the time, mostly when they’re going to be out all day. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and happy cried because I’d gotten it into my head that I’d somehow offend them and the interaction was so positive. It’s a core memory and one I love :,)
1. They could be straight trans people who are part of the community 2. They could be closeted or bisexual and only appear to be straight 3. They could be there to support a friend or family member who invited them to come 4. they could be an ally who showed up to support the community
The whole point of pride was to be for everyone, regardless of sexuality, as long as you're not a bigot and not a weirdo(creep, perv, etc) I think you're allowed to come. Like ESPECIALLY if you're a genuine ally
@@dawnpaoloabes8441That's absolutely not what "weirdo" means in this context. OP meant people who fetishize, sexualize, or chase queer people like objects, people who are attending to harass trans people that don't "pass", people who are terfs, transphobes, queerphobes, just awful people in general that act in weird ways but still want to be part of the celebration.
Anyone who says straight people don't belong at pride either forgot/doesn't care about: -Non-cis people who identify as straight -Parents of queer kids -Children of queer parent(s) -Significant others of bisexual, pansexual, or non-cis people -Friends of queer people (not everyone has a partner or parent to take with them to pride) Also, I have to wonder if the same people who say "no straights at pride" are also ace/aro exclusionists, which puts heteromantic aces (like me!) or heterosexual aros in a weird position as well.
In my experiences as an old-as-dirt aroace, the exclusionists already consider us "spicy straights", so they definitely are the same as the "no straights at Pride" crowd.
I still struggle to truly be myself thanks to exclusionists, like it's not bad enough having to deal with cis straight bigots. I'm a non-binary pansexual person, yet because I still present as male I still get shit from a lot of gay guys for identifying as queer. Not to mention I still find myself accepting male pronouns just to avoid any violence in a area primarily dominated by the right. I also have a tendency to identify as bi, because it's still better than having to explain what being pansexual even is. Not even gonna start on the "so you fuck pans?" line 😞
The exclusionists hurt, I have had to deal with so much stuff from people outside of the community. I've really lost my will to fight for my identity thanks to exclusionists, I know who I am, but I have folded on my pronouns as a Non-binary person on so many occasions just to avoid confrontation. As well as just identifying as bi, because I somehow get less hate than when I identify properly as pansexual
I swear to god this whole thing of "No Straights at pride" shit started bcs of exclusionists (examples, aphobes, tranphobes interphobes, bi/panphobes, ect.) In my, humble, opinion- this topic is not a clear yes or no answer because there are straight trans people (People that are attracted to the opposite gender they identify as), there are straight asexuals (people who are in a romantic/queerplatonic relationship with the other gender) there are straight intersex people (people who are attracted to the other gender they mostly present as). Just bcs they're attracted to the other gender, it doesnt mean they're not queer. And besides, its good that straights are going to pride parades, bcs its a chance for them to learn MORE about what it means to be Queer. You can meet a lot of new friends, or even find out you're queer yourself. If you see anyone complaining about a bi woman having/bringing their cishet bf to pride, block and ignore them, 9 times out of 10 they're either a exclusionist, a terf or a biphobe. (Edit for clarity)
A trans person physically cannot be straight, because this means that you deny their gender identification, therefore it destroys the very concept of sex change, and it also makes you transphobic, that's why there is such a term as a transbian (trans + lesbian) . As for asexuals and aromatics, people generally doubt that they can be considered an orientation, after all, if you are not able to experience romantic/sexual attraction, then this is a trauma or simply a lack of motivation. This is the same as calling yourself non-binary, but using the pronouns he or she, this is illogical, I believe that people need to rework this system so that there is no confusion, because even representatives of LGBT+ and other similar movements are confused in terminology, let alone bigots who create stereotypes and negative attitudes towards these movements.
Hating straight people (and especially "straight" people who are still LGBT+) is the exact same deal as hating gay people: there's no place for hate, sorry.
Hell yeah!!! Straight people are more than welcome to pride parades, there can be a million reasons why they’re present. Whether it’s celebrating their partners, supporting their family, or just learning more about their community everyone is welcome. Allies are good, always free to join in. It’s always good to support people around you :)
Do people forget that straight people can be queer too? I have a male friend who's on the aroace spectrum and as far as I know has only ever experienced attraction towards women. Him being straight doesn't make him any less aroace.
Being straight does not necessarily mean you aren't queer, ace straights, aro straights and trans straights exist too and they aren't any less queer, that's like saying a cis gay guy can't be queer because he's cis, doesn't make sense at all. And even if someone is cishet they can still go and support their family/friends and show their allyship which is really important, so yeah straight people definitely should be at pride unless it's not for malicious intent
I honestly enjoy the idea of straight and cisgender people coming to pride events! Everyone can partake, everyone can enjoy the event, everyone can learn!
Friend of mine went to a Pride Parade a few years back, he's a married guy with kids, but he was just there to show his support; half way through the even two guys approach him and start flirting with him, my friend then proceeds to inform them that he's not actually gay and is already married, the two guys that approached him immediately start to berate and threaten him...
I'm sorry about that, just know that some people are unironically threatning if they misinterprate the message of their so loved tradition, in this case the homosexuals might have fthink of your friend as an intruder, I mean ngl I'm straight and their comportement is just horrible but I gave this logic to you to say that not all of them act like that and a lot of homosexuals are chill and if he wanna go to a pride parade he should be and is allowed to no matter how much people say it's not ok ❤️
@@gabrielboudjema4076 I know, most LGBTQ people I've met have been some of the friendliest and genuinely great to hang out with, just bringing this up because some of the other comments seem to be of a more hostile stance; conflicts are not always one-sided, but you're right that those few don't represent the whole community...
Motte and Bailey ploy. All the laws and everything for feminism to achieve the mission of equality were passed back around 60 years ago. And since then feminism has actually pushed things to where the situation is female favoritism. Bring up this and you’ll get of course it’s about equality but the second that ends it’s all about pushing for more female privilege and more pro female favoritism, and even more importantly, hatred of men and demonization of all that is masculine. Pride is supposedly about respecting sexual minorities, but in reality, it’s a big political thing about pushing an agenda that normalizes infidelity, STI’s, HIV, pedophilia, mutilation, and a large variety of repulsive abberations. But call put the disease vectoring, the apologizing for pedophilia, and the mutilation of minors, and suddenly it’s about none of those things but instead about equality and the second after that discussion and they’re all about how to poison your kids with hormones and chop their nardz off.
Egalitarianism is actually treating everyone, regardless of factors, equally. Feminism is and has always been about uplifting women, it might branch to cover others, but it inherently is focused on one aspect above others.
I think I actually shed a tear when you spoke about the sheer amount of hatred Bi people and men go through. I have never heard anyone speak about Biphobia, and I've heard very few people speaking on how men get mistreated and demonized for existing. Being a bisexual man has been hell for the year I've came out thanks to people constantly telling me to die or that I just don't exist all because of things I can't change about myself... As someone who came out as Bi since last year, I have never felt so validated and heard in my life until today. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
If you want a bi focused channel, I highly recommend Verily Bitchie. She makes a lot of videos discussing media through a bi lens and biphobia comes up as a topic she takes seriously quite often. She even has one video specifically talking about bi men.
Think shoeonhead made a video about how bisexual people are treated since she's a bisexual woman. Might be cathartic to see. A trans friend of mine once told me "the left has no worse enemy than itself" and every time I see people talk about their lived experience it just proves that to me.
Hi :) Tbh this comment has really stuck out to me, because I completely get how terrifying biphobia can be. We experience homophobia if open with partners of the same gender, or "straight privilege" gatekeeping if you're with someone of the opposite, and god forbid you be dating a GNC person/trans person?? However I can confirm just how genuine Fionapollo is in her words here about defending people who are bisexual--she's my partner, and I came out to her as bisexual around 4 years into our relationship. She has been /nothing/ but supportive, wonderful, and constantly a thorn in my side whenever David fucking Tennant appears on screen. I wish you luck on your journey.
im a queer person with a straight friend whos a huge ally. she came to pride with me, loves watching queer movies, is super into drag, etc. i love her sm lol
I'm not even in the closet, but I don't really feel the need to mention I'm gay most of the time, so I've been confidently called straight dozens of times only to go, "Uh... no."
@@skootergirl22asexuals feel romantic attraction but little to no sexual attraction, the person still has romantic feelings and can still have sex with their partner as an expression of love in many cases, but they don’t have the impulse to in itself
Honestly, pretty relatable. I keep getting into situations where I go "I as a guy, do not fall into this stereotype. Oh, wait, damn, I'm not a guy anymore. Crap."
If it makes you feel any better, I used to believe that you could get electrocuted if you wore headphones when I was little and would refuse to wear them and argue with the teacher when I refused to wear them in the computer lab
Thanks for the chuckle, I've done that with my own age multiple times lol, though I've also randomly forgotten I'm trans before as well so mood ^^' (if that's not clear, the part I forget is my AGAB, not that it doesn't match who I am)
This type of thinking, and _especially_ the biphobia that surrounds it, is the reason it took me as long as I did to realize that I was bi. I always had this nagging fear that my attraction to women would mean I wouldn't be welcome, and that I would somehow be a "disappointment" to the queer community. I do largely think this was just general social anxiety speaking, and I've since known better, but I think just reducing the stigma associated with bisexuality as a whole could do wonders for everyone.
Or Miss labeling Male Bisexual as a stepping stone to fully coming out as Gay or something else like Transgender. This is why I only found out I was a male Bisexual September 5, 2011 at 22 years old.
It depends in my opinion, I don't mind if somehow who is a straight ally/person comes to pride tbh. I'd honestly be happy that they can support friends and/or family or just not mind about them at all as long as they aren't problematic! ^^
this is a little bit of a different subject than the video, but one thing i'm glad you mentioned was the whole "all men are the enemy" thing that's going on. As a trans man who doesn't like to be out as trans on the internet, I feel like I should keep my mouth shut about it, but it's really hard to want to transition when everyone's telling you that a man is the worst thing you can be (-not to mention the use of the term 'transmascs' by other man-hating members of the community instead of just 'men' to create a distinction most trans men don't even want.) Anyway, just happy someone mentioned that, because I was scared to say anything about it. Great video and artwork
Unfortunately, TREF (Rowling is an example, but unfortunately she is not the only one) under the guise of false "Feminism" dehumanized men and trans people :/
That's the thing I've ALWAYS hated about the "all men are the devil" take because of how it can all too easily become a pipeline for just outright transphobia. That, IMO is the part that doesn't get talked about enough.
Fr. I've been wronged by cis men, too, but if someone's going to say "I hate all men" and then go "but not trans guys!!" that's just. It's transphobia with extra steps. It's telling me that I'm not a man without saying the exact words.
@@gekirobo8720 it's also bad because your labeling 50% of the human race as "evil" just because of the gender they were born/ identity with. But also what you said is true.
Yes, we shouldn't gatekeep people from celebrating Pride just because they aren't Queer, saying a straight person can't come to Pride is like saying white people can't join a BLM rally. This is goes without saying that the statement can be seen as transphobic since trans people who like the opposite gender are not considered gay because their assigned gender matches their partner's.
@@skootergirl22 What about military veterans, what about the refugees in our country, what about cavalcade of people who have it harder in life by virtue of not being a slice of American white bread?
@@skootergirl22 I really don't want to misery measure groups of people here but queer people have been treated with disgust and often times have been killed for being queer. Disabled people have also been treated not great, and only recently has society gotten better about said treatment. I don't know how you are defining disabled, but in the past queer people have been hated for existing, disabled people had the luxury of their circumstances acknowledged as being out of their control (in most cases, again our understanding of mental health has only gotten better and was so much worse before).
@@q-tip9962 I will say that proper gatekeeping is essential. Before I get called out. I will explain, please do not lamblast me for this. Proper gatekeeping is allowing those who have an interest in the thing, That they want to learn more, participate in or enjoy the thing. Meanwhile when someone comes in wanting to be problematic, those people are not let into the group. Such as how Zoophiles or MAPS try to sneak their way into LGBT+ (for reference when I talk about zoophiles, I do not mean furries who dress up as animals or have anthro OC's or enjoy that kinda thing, I mean actual animals) where those people are not permited entry into the community, nor would people who clearly are trying to spread hate (either from non LGBT or from LGBT who sit in circle jerks and hate against straights for being straight, those people do not deserve platforms either) In the later case, it is more about protecting the community from toxic elements, rather than having(for lack of a better term) a middle school set of boys who post a sign that says "no gurls aloud"
This whole thing about whether straight/cis people should attend pride can be boiled down to coming to terms with the fact that, as queer folk, we’re always going to have some people hate us regardless of how we conducts ourselves. People are usually less incentivized to listen to and empathize if all we’re accomplishing is putting up a further divide between them and us (And of course if we’re just antagonizing someone, they’ll end up playing victim hood instead of actually realizing where they might have went wrong). And that it’s best to surround ourselves with those who genuinely do care about us. If we want others to listen to us and empathize with us, we should help them do so.
The "Down with cis" meme was created by a post on trumblr about a bus with trans people who got off it and started attacking people, shouting this beautiful text "Down with cis", the story was so unrealistic that it is now considered a meme
The story was also originally posted by an account that (iirc) made up a _ton_ of fake stories to post on Tumblr with the express purpose of having them posted to the subreddit r/TumblrInAction after other Tumblr users reacted to the posts. It is incredibly wild in hindsight that anyone ever thought the Down With Cis bus was real lmao
Throught 7 years of me using youtube i constantly just randomly find your comments specifically and i just think its such a crazy coincidence i finally have to comment on it.
Not the Down With Cis bus 😂 that’s a blast from the past. If anyone legitimately thought it was real then they should know that gullible is written on the ceiling as well.
As a straight man that has been in a couple of Pride Parades I find the idea of banning non queer people from it actually stupid, not for me, I couldn´t care less (Was there to provide numerical support) but one of the most revealing moments of the entire thing was when one of my friends convinced her mom to go there too, she was at the time still on the fringe about accepting her, but seeing her daughter having an entire community of people to support and cheer for her moved her immensely. Her Straight sister was there too, so the entire thing was a real before/after for their relationship and she getting out of the closet... Also was kinda fun when her mom came to me and was like "Oh my, are you gay too?" all sad and surprised... Still cracks me up
"no straights at pride" is such a silly thing to say, considering the fact that there ARE queer straight people. asexual heteroromantic people, aromantic heterosexual people, transhet people, nonbinary straight people, and probably more that i can't think of. and let's not forget straight-passing couples (queer-platonic couples and romantic couples included in this) and just people that support. allies aren't part of the lgbtq+ community, but their support still matters. cishet people showing their support isn't a bad thing! wouldn't you want people to support their kids/family/friends/just the community in general? my dad is cishet, heck he's even a christian but he still attends/attended pride in the past. he supports me and my queer siblings. even though he's still learning, he does his best to support the community, and that means something. thank you for making this video, you made a lot of good points. (a lot of which i also made here in this comment) tldr: straight queer people exist and cishet people should be allowed to show their support at pride
As long as they're respectful, I really couldn't care less-like, come on down! Have fun! Also I think people are forgetting that you can be straight and still a part of the community, plenty of trans people are straight, there's straight asexuals, nonbinary people who prefer to label themselves as straight, all kinds of things. It's not a black and white matter of "straights cant come" and "not straight people can come" and I'm saying all this as a lesbian lol
Ok i wont say shit but if anyone touches me they will be introduced to Mr.Staberty, and i dont want to hear any complaints. (I dont care if its even a hand on the shoulder.)
@lindinle Queer people aren't harmless your also gonna be stabbed my man. Don't start blasting if you arnt ready to be jumped by a bunch of people who just watched you stab a guy for seemingly no reason. Like the fucks your logic here???
My long story short: I'm a 35 year old trans man who didn't come out and transition until my 30s. My husband passed away in 2021. We got married in 2014. Before coming out as trans in my 30s, I was a bisexual woman. I'm also disabled. To go to pride i'd have needed my cishet husband to come with me, because disabled. Now though.. still disabled because born disabled but regardless... turns out, i'm a *gasp* straight trans man. And now I look like a cishet (despite not being cis) man... I might as well be a demon in the lgbt community. At least that's how many people make me feel. I just look like a regular dude, and that's all I want. I'm still trans though, I can't change that. One thing that hasn't changed is I still do not feel welcome at pride. Despite what the B and T stand for. No one even thinks about disabled lgbt people (including invisible disabilities). Or straight trans people. I've never been to pride and at this rate, I never will. Besides not feeling welcome they are never accessible. Love the video by the way! That's just my own story/rant.
Aw crap I'm sorry. Please do know that this discourse of straight people not being welcome comes from a very very small minority of the community, and sometimes I question if they are even really from the community (and not just hateful people pretending to be, so they can start an argument and create some sort of divide or bad rep for us). Do you know of Jamie? He's a RUclipsr, straight trans guy. He's in a committed relationship with Shaaba, she's also on RUclips and bisexual. Maybe their content can remind you of the good people in the community, you'll see that they both have a huge amount of followers and I hope this can help you feel more welcome again. I don't think pride parades or parties will become very accessible anytime soon, sadly the core of it seems to be at odds with so many disabilities, physical or mental. Maybe someday :/ or maybe an alternative, such as a 360°camera on a parade to tune in from home, will become available.
Unfortunately, ableism is a beast that has no end + Similarly, it treats queer Muslims (I'm not Muslim, for context, but I see people's reactions on the Internet), as intruders, or "You're Muslim, you can't be queer" Unfortunately, being a spectrum of several traits (Discriminated) means that you cannot fit in and feel safe in these groups
@@undefinederror40404 I know of him and he's said that's he's bi. They've both said they both are. I do love his videos though :) Thank you for the comment though. It's nice to see. It can be so easy to focus on the negative but I am sure the negative is the minority. The negative can just be so loud sometimes. Thank you again
The only threat to pride is big corporations. Also, I've seen people, for the most part, start to drop the term "ally". While there are levels to the amount of oppression people face, it is abundantly clear after Roe that all of our struggles are combined.
Yes, but when some happen to support in a positive way like a person say a or a All becuse a cult group in USA who wants every minority back from where they came or the Cult wants groups like Natives Dead similar to all learning, we know a good portion of USA does not feel this way and when places are fixed in such a way nobody can win in elections ever in some districts
See as a minor I don’t always feel comfortable going to places I’m not used to without my mom, especially somewhere like a pride event where there is a risk. I live in the Midwest where being a member of the LGBTQ community is still very scrutinized and looked down upon. Also I have a straight boyfriend, and would love to in the future be able to go to those events with him, I understand why some people would have and issue with straight people attending, but I believe as long as they ate allies there really shouldn’t be a problem
To be honest, I don't see why anyone has an issue with straight people going to show support and/or learn. I think what needs to be assumed for there to be a problem, is that straight people are either always hateful or going to cause a problem. Which is a bad assumption to make :/ Blocking allies from joining us sounds very counter-productive to me. The more we unite the stronger we stand!
as an enby lesbian, the closer that i get to 30, the less of a fuck i give tbh. so long as the person supports our cause and supports US let them be there, damnit.
same idea here, as long as they're not against us, what's the big issue with them being there and celebrating, it's more positive to have them around too, cuz that's more support for us. (p.s nice to see another enby, hi)
@@shakirashipslied9721 imo having their straight bfs there is also an expression of bi girls' bisexuality so implying they shouldnt be allowed to have them there is kinda biphobic imo as well yfm?? also yes hi :D
@@BlackReshiram That's right, it is biphobic to not allow them to express their attraction freely, when one of the tenets of pride is celebrating "love is love", guess it stops being relevant in their minds when the bisexuals don't date someone explicitly queer. Imagine how they'd react if you told them they couldn't bring their queer partners. Heyy ✨✨
@@shakirashipslied9721 some people just end up being intensily unnecessarily territorial and defensive ig and i fucking hate that. i get that having "normies" there might be anxiety inducing for some people esp if someones had to defend and justify their entire existence 24/7 to cishet people, but that doesnt mean they got a right to make their trauma everyone else's problem anyway im stepping down from my soapbox now lmao
Fear of rejection hatred can be terrible things. I feel this is honestly when most of the discourse comes from because there is always the fear of straight people coming to Pride just to be horrible to you. To everyone, you are all worthy of love whoever you are and fight fear of everything you got, you can do this great day, week and weekend.
I actually don't see any problem in Pride being both a party and a protest at the same time. We are protesting hatred by being loud and proud about our queer nature, and with more young people identifying as queer, we are showing the world that we will not be silenced! As such, straight allies who come in support, either toward specific loved ones or the community as a whole, should be welcomed with open arms. We want to create a society that embraces all the diverse ways there are to be human. So, while queer-only spaces are valuable for discussion, public pride celebrations should remain just that: Public! As one final addition: I'm ABAB, and before I was out as Asexual and non-binary, I was a straight ally to my at the time trans girlfriend (who is still one of my best friends, and incidentally came to support ME at Pride yesterday!). The queer community offered me resources and information on queer identities, so those who come to Pride as cishet/allos may not remain that way forever! TL;DR: Pride can be the best way to publicly crack an egg ;)
@@lindinle Did you just forget that pride also celebrates asexuality (WHEN THEY SPECIFICALLY SAID THEY WERE ASEXUAL, no less) and trans people? Neither of those are about wanting to fuck. Even when it does come to sex, it’s not any more sexual than straight people wanting to do it. It’s just asking to be treated the same.
As to jokes at straight peoples expense... I'm not in the queer community (though I am ace), but I spend a lot of time in the autism community and there seems to be a lot of overlap. I'm very, very not neurotypical, I've been traumatized (a *lot*) by neurotypicals, and I hate Autism Speaks as much as the next autistic. But I do find degrading jokes about neurotypicals distasteful, I don't feel like they need to be made and I used to make them in front of my neurotypical friend and he often seemed genuinely hurt. I just... there are other ways to relate, without putting anyone down. Again, I'm not in the queer community, maybe I should just shut up, but I don't think saying potentially hurtful things is ever nessacary, even as trauma bonding. Maybe, instead, we can look for similarities and try to create a more receptive environment where we can just communicate our needs and struggles with the demographics in the majority. Isn't this world already divided enough?
I think it's similar to jokes about us: sometimes a joke about autism or lgbtqia+ aspects can be funny, the key is for them to not be hurtful and degrading. Something that starts as self-depricating, something light hearted, usually jokes made by those part of our groups. People outside of the groups get it wrong more often, they more often joke in a way that makes us the laughing matter.. It's interesting how that can be mirrored sometimes, for example how straight people are now getting hurt by jokes about them that were done in poor taste. But it seems to only hurt those we don't want to hurt, and those who make hurtful jokes about us just see it as an invite to punch down harder. All that to say, I don't see how it has any benefit at all and fully agree with you. Sometimes it's a genuine mistake, when a joke is meant to be funny but turns out bad. But most of the time it's on purpose, and that has to stop.
@@buttercupkat Actually I think it, at least originally, is for ally, but I do know that ace is under the pride umbrella, I simply have different interests, generally (like autism!).
@@nikacomedawn Did a bit of research--the "a" was introduced in 2015 with the intent of being for asexuals/aromantics/agenders; there's been a lot of pushback against it being for "allies" as that's seen as queer erasure, but no worries, I know you didn't mean anything by it! Makes sense, sexuality/identity for a lot of queer people isn't a _huge_ deal which you are valid for >:D
This just reminds me of the photos I see occasionally of straight ppl coming into Pride with “I offer free hugs!” and “Proud parent of my [insert identity] kid!” and that is just wholesomeness that apparently gets ignored when it comes to the *concept* of Pride events (or at least my parents didn’t know that it wasn’t all LGBT people)
@@4ngels444 says the guy who thinks he's so special he deserves a whole month to himself. Not only that , anyone who disagrees even slightly must be shunned
Not gonna lie: I looked at the title and was like "Aw darn, here we go. Another person jumping on the bandwagon". There's so much negativity nowadays that myself - being CH myself, but an full-on ally - I feel honestly scared to express my opinion for fear of getting hate-mobbed. So happy to that you didn't go that direction. Takes like yours should be given so much more platform! Hope that more people break out of that "us vs them" paradigm, that seems to be taking both sides and poisoning them against one another.
@@mattdombrowski8435 Even if you did that, how would someone "prove" that they are queer? It's the same problem that TERFs have when they try to create "cis lesbians only" spaces.
*sighs* The fact that this discussion is still going on has me tired as an older millenial. But I get your points, I nearly winced when you mentioned the Tumblr roots because it's true. The Exclusinary mentality really did happen around that time (though there was probably some prior to Tumblr era but it got exsaberated with Tumblr. But honestly due to these arguments had me wanting to read in the future Bell Hook's The Will to Change and how misogyny also hurts men as well and how to combat it in healthier ways. I feel it can be applied here too how feminine cis het men could be persicuted for not being "the perfect alpha/beta/sigma man" or not being "queer enough" to go to pride. Hopefully I can get to it soon because I'm finding more and more situations that this book could be applicable. (Ace Agender-fem fluid here btw)
I'm a 24 year old cis guy, 7 months ago I realised I'm bi. I'm out to people around me but I'm very "straight presenting" and I've been single all my life (possibly because I fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum but I'm not sure I'm ready to unpack that just yet). What you said about not being able to tell if someone is queer just by looking at them hits very close to home for me. Thanks for talking sense when there's so much nonsense out there. (Also your art is great!)
Me and my mom go to pride under the guise that "I'm an ally" when in reality I'm a closeted lesbian. :) Just thought I'd share that, because if I had to be out, I couldn't go to pride at all!
@@user-zg1wm7fj9t No, it’s just another term for people who identify as lgbtq. Even then, you can be heterosexual and biromantic, heterosexual and homoromantic, homosexual and heteroromantic, asexual and straight, aromantic and straight, aspec and straight, ect.
Pride is for everyone. Pride is all about inclusion, difference and celebration. It is not a "gay supremacy" parade, and anyone who wants it to be is not welcome.
Why must people exclude? What does that achieve? Rules for thee and not for me much? Everyone should be invited to the party, as the point is everyone is on the same level nowadays. Pride is about celebrating that we are all getting rights and are happy to be ourselves? Why shame people for who they are? That goes against the core of this whole belief system we champion.
Omg im also ace lesbian! Happy pride and also thank you for adressing the gatekeeping and everything else couldn't agree more. We need to let people be allies 👍👍👍
No one should be excluded from Pride as long as they support it. Another issue is people ASSUMING people are straight. Just because someone SEEMS to be or IS in a relationship with the opposite sex does NOT make them straight. I'm demi-sexual, but since I'm in a relationship with a man, everyone assumes I'm straight.
I love inviting my straight mom, and she loves showing up and supporting me. She also loves lecturing the protestors on how their Christian values are flawed.
I'm like you, I'm really fed up with these kinds of arguments tbh. I think we should just go "yes because you can't gatekeep without excluding queer and lgbt people on accident which would make it much more unsafe than random allies attending pride" and move on. At least try to because discourse everywhere isn't easy to ignore. There's aros and aces, m-spec (bi, pan...) people, and trans people of all orientations that could be mistaken as "straight" for passing reasons. I don't even think it should really be a debate in the first place because it's just so obvious, it's really annoying that we have this kind of discourse every year.
Not, the thing, I was thinking of But, still... Another group of people, others debate on if they should be at Pride or not ... And I'm still wondering, if my city is the only one that celebrates pride, all month. As in, every day of June, has a pride activity. Not just the parade
Yes. Very simply. Wow, a headline the answer is 'yes'. But yes, they should come to be allies and support local businesses. I'm not Greek, but I love to eat at the Greek festival; etc and so forth. It's a celebration of culture.
to paraphrase the best answer i heard to this debate; "i would rather have actually supportive straight people attend pride, than have no supportive straight people at all"
I've never been to a pride event before...mainly because I live in a small town and big events aren't common here. But even though I'm straight, I take pride in being an Ally. I've long supported the LGBTQ+ Community since I first saw the small amounts of media rep on TV when I was sixteen. While I'm aware that TV, movies and other things of the like may exaggerate the mannerisms of gay people; I still found it all delightfully amusing. My favorite at the time was Dion from Braceface, who is one of the teachers of Sharon Spitz at the High School. He's friendly, witty, caring and has just the right amount of sass. But I think the main reason I've come to love the LGBTQ+ Community so much is...in some small ways, I can relate to their struggles. I know how it feels to be mocked, bullied, insulted and belittled simply for who or what you are. In MY case, I'm a "special needs" individual who lives with a disorder called Congenital Hydrocephalus; a thing that isn't as widely known/talked about as Autism or ADHD. I was bulled by several of my peers from the age of ten all the way up through High School till 2004. There were moments where I actually came close to breaking and either attacking them back with full force or hurting MYSELF out of shame. Thankfully; I had a good family, friends, kind neighbors, compassionate teachers and a passion for reading that kept me pushing through. So, you can see why my heart aches so painfully whenever I hear about the struggles of the LGBT
I'd love to go to pride because almost everyone around me is queer (my mom, her friends, coworkers, and business partner, my brother, and some of my friends) and I'd love to be there to support them! Sadly I haven't yet because of schedule conflicts 😅 I view me going being similar to a parent attending their kids school play or smth, my loved ones being the focus and me cheering them on! 🥰
I'm glad your views on the discourse is the same as mine. Some communities just have subgroups that get really hung on excluding others, as if a "revenge" on the oppression the group has suffered. All while ignoring the importance of allies for general acceptance to be achieved. When I got into uni, the far-right had just won the presidential election here, and I really wanted to help progressive causes overall. I tried to understand how the feminist group and the queer group at my college worked, but I basically was excluded from them because I was a straight guy. Move forward a few years and I've just figured out I'm trans. And I've only been able to do so because I already had tons of queer friends that normalized a bunch of stuff to me and who I knew would support me. One of them even jokes we finally figured out what sort of queer I was. So, yeah, including straight people helps the community get support and helps them sometimes feel safe exploring maybe being queer
Ally with a Bisexual wife, I have faced this before and my response has always been "You must be very confident in your ability to win the fight for LGBT rights if you are turning down allies". I am happy to see so much of the queer community is being so supportive of allies. despite having watched your material for a while I was still nervous about what you might say. Happy to see you your content and the art piece looks wonderful.
The way I see it, if you want people to see you as equals and to respect you, being outwardly hostile towards those people is very counter-productive. It's more likely to make them actively hostile in return and create even more problems for you. - Your Friendly Neighborhood cishet man
Exactly. In order to successfully convince people to share your view you have to present your opinion consistently, and not pressure/force people into adopting it. And attacking them is definitely (and obviously) not going to help.
You know, it's not always the case that when they hurt you, the lack of defense will do you more harm than good... I'm speaking from Poland, where in 2020 there was a media campaign against LGBT+ people
@@cupcaketv5673 I live in Poland, in 2020 there was a campaign against LGBT+ people, many of them were victims of beatings, and that's why I can't look at this comment like Americans, I just can't...
Been watching your vids for a while, I really dig your art and webcomic stuff and all your commentaries on animation-related stuff. This one I really agree with. I absolutely believe straights are welcome at pride so long as they are participating for good reason and are not being awful. The more of them on our side, I feel, the better. I also really like how you brought up amab enbies, which I am. A relatively elder one at that, if 31 is considered that lol. I feel it's not talked about enough, but I'm glad you mentioned it. I sometimes feel that I get a bit of exclusion because I don't look/present "femme enough" or "trans enough", that I still come off as a "dude", etc. from some tiny parts of the community, and I feel that isn't right. Having to be a stereotype to be accepted, that sorta thing. So it was nice to hear all of that in this, in addition to all your careful breakdown of all the little nuances of this topic. Anyways, sorry if I waffled on, I was just happy to hear all of that in this vid. Cheers!
I'm very against scientific labels for a reason. Instead of bringing people together, we're slowly tearing each other apart over something we can't control. Why can't we just all be together?
The thing about straight people "not understanding" is that a large amount of them do! Plenty of people explored their sexuality in their teenage years and just came out of it cishet!
I will admit, I don't really know many queer folks in my circle. Not helping since I'm a regular straight dude (Sorry if it comes off as offensive, but I'm not exactly a fan of the term "cishet" mostly since it sounds weird in my opinion) I mostly describe myself as an acquaintance towards the queer community, mostly since as I already said, I don't know many queer people in my area or friend circle plus I haven't attended any Pride events myself since I live in a small town. I am aware of prominent queer social media influencers and even a fan of a few, such as The Stupendium who is an enby and the team behind Overly Sarcastic Productions who are mostly comprised of asexuals. I don't hold any ill will towards the queer community and I do hope that you guys live your best lives without any ill will towards folks like myself.
Yew is the opposite of trans (And in Poland it's the name of a tree... I'm not kidding, it's seriously the name of a tree), so yes, everything sounds strange until we get used to it
Hey just found your channel. Its nice to find another Ace/Lesbian! Love the art! Straights at pride are needed. Straights need to be able to show that the world isn't just Queers Vs Straights. Especially in this day and age where we are seemingly regressing back to the 60s. Like I've had a lot of cishet prejudice in my life but I don't associate all that hate to the entire group of people, at least mentally. Emotionally I know I also just to conclusions bc of those experiences, but I'm trying to overcome that atm. Anyways, removing straights at pride is just reinforcing that segregation mentality. Its antagonistic and will only reinforce those people that are trying to remove the LBGTQIA+ rights that was fought so hard for. What we need to do is push for assimilation that we all are humans. To just accept that there are people that are different and that's ok! We need to now push for the end of this "Us vs Them" mentality.
As a bisexual it doesn’t matter your orientation or gender you can celebrate who you are, that’s the whole point of pride is to be proud of who you are
There should NEVER be exclusions just for being something or another. It's so annoying for people to act like being queer (or in my case Ace) acting like we're some kind of clique. Just let people be who they are and judge people by their actions not their sexuality, gender or god forbid their race (its sad I even have to mention that last one)
This has been a thing that I’ve been dealing with for years, sadly. Literally 3/4 of my friend group are in “straight-looking” queer relationships, including myself. This includes a couple that’s a trans man and trans woman, one of whom is straight and the other bi, a trans man and fem-leaning ace enby, my polycule consisting a genderfluid pansexual (myself) who presents mostly masculine just due to what I can do with my physique, my nonbinary bisexual partner who leans feminine for the same reason, and their cishet boyfriend who is literally the only straight dude I know.
I've been reading some of the comments and all i have to say is YES, Straight/Cis people deserve to be at pride, aslong as they are respect+mindfull. ALSO, some of y'all are still in the Ancient Times Mindset of "gender equals sexual/romantic attraction" and it's sad to see, especially as a Gay+Aro Cis Dude.
I've got a pan friend who doesn't like going to Pride events specifically because people will openly discriminate him for "being a cit-het invading their space". I do think that spaces like Pride need to exist for the LGBTQ+ communities, but I also think it's incredibly important to leave those comfort zones. Growing up as an ethnic minority in a melting pot, I basically have to leave my spaces on a daily basis. Retreating into social media wasn't really an option when I was younger. I'm not saying that forcing people out of their communities and safe spaces will instantly make people stop being bigots. But it can help you navigate gray areas that diversity inevitably produces. Gatekeeping at a Pride event only serves to erect more barriers. Counterproductive, isn't it?
I'm a panromantic asexual who is in a straight relationship, I went to my first Pride event literally just a few days ago and everyone was so welcoming and accepting. I can't tell you how many people I saw sporting straight ally flags with booths set up selling pride stuff and those people were nothing but nice and respectful. Of course not everyone is going to be like that, but I see no issue with straight people being at Pride as long as people are respectful
Thank you! My husband and I are wanting to participate in pride for the first time! I’ve also come to discover that I’m on the ace spectrum, and I’m pretty certain he is too.
I'm straight and I'd be down to go to pride! I unfortunately haven't been able to before, but I'd love to go to support my friends and the community as a whole!
Don't gatekeep an even that is supposed to be about inclusiveness. If a straight person is at pride, they could be a closeted person, a partner/friends of a queer person there to support them, questioning and exploring what pride is, intersex, or other factors. Share your experiences and show that this community is open to answering and willing to include those who are different than them (especially since there are so many people are willing to shut out people who are different).
@@darkkirby714 you clicked on the video, probably watched at least some part of it and commented. The algorithms job is to find videos that make you do exactly that. If this is recommended to you and you simply ignore it, the algorithm will see "ah OK, they are not interested, let's try something different"
Yayy, I'm so glad my comment was appreciated, it was so cool to see it at 10:51 😭 I love the finished video sm, you never fail to make amazing content!!
You said everything i could ever say on the subject. On top of all that you've said, as someone who is bi and proud it would feel hypocritical of me in a way, as I could just as easily be one of those "bi women with a straight bf" if i wasn't dating another woman.
10:57 Oh hey! I'm in the video! XD (even if it was 2 seconds I wanted to make that joke) But man, I had no idea that pride started as a funeral march. Which gives me all the more reasons to continue to show all the support as I can for this community as an ally I guess you learn something new every day because no one told me this until now, so awesome work on the video and the art, very insightful as per usual and I always look forward to what comes next ✌🏻😌
It's always seemed counter-productive to me to exclude people from an event designed to promote inclusiveness, acceptance and a desire to be treated as equal just because they belong to a particular group, the precise thing you're fighting against. I get that certain things should be limited to only those that are immediately affected because they have the understanding and sensitivity required to speak with authority but there always needs to be an opportunity for people to learn and realise that at the end of the day everyone is just a human trying to live their life.
People are always striving for LBGTQ+ acceptance in a straight-dominated society, so why not allow them to come together? You can’t build one thing up by tearing down another
The mellowing is probably a good thing. Even if you continue pursuing justice, I feel like allowing yourself to get angry gives the other side a win somehow - like their goal is to get you off balance, ya know?
14:20 You hit on something that I've seen a lot - that there are a lot of people who seem to think that the best way to feel empowered is to treat others in the same way that they were treated by someone with power over them. I personally don't understand it, and in places like the queer community, it just actively makes any efforts to unite for a common cause worse.
It amazes me how people try to gatekeep who bi people bring to pride when the "mother of pride" was a bi woman (Brenda Howard) who was married to a man...
What are they gonna do, stop me on the street and force me to show them my grindr account? It's difficult in my city to find an 18-24 year old woman who ISN'T bi or gay. It's mainstream now (much to the chagrin of queer people who had hard lives growing up because of their sexuality and sometiens have a stolen valor vibe towards the kids), so as this increases in acceptance, i cant help but wonder if this very topic is a sign that times have changed.
I brought my father (a straight guy) with me to my first pride event and we both had fun so I say sure as long as it's clear they're there to have fun and support us lol
What you said about men struck a core with me because i struggled with internalized transphobia and homophobia because when was young i keep hearing about how men are the worst of the worst and how they should all perish (trust me it was wild) and in my mind i was trying to deny myself cause admitting me being a man AND is attracted to men makes me the worst person possible. as of now I've come in term with it and am very happy with my beloved boyfriend, i really just wish they're not the punching bag of the queer community as it could be a bad influence to those who are questioning themselves (but this is just imo !) also yes, straight people are welcome in pride ! allies are always welcomed to join
I don’t care what people do but the funniest analogy came to mind. It’s like a child’s soccer game, friends and family are fine, but it’s weird to show up to a random child’s soccer game
Sometimes when I see this discussion online I feel like that one Family Guy clip "Ugh, those straight parents went to pride month to support their kid, how embarrassing ." "Why are you so f*cking negative all the time?"
That clip is more relevant than ever.
Cause Twitter can’t enjoy anything!
What episode was THAT from?
@@Cubeytheawesome Outside of tearing people down and having a moral superiority complex
@ville__ Get a life man.
@ville__I wouldn’t be so comfortable proclaiming your love of CP if I were you.
Restricting people from entering events sounds hippocritical when talking about pride as long as they are supportive
It has ugly echoes of those idiotic bathroom bills.
There was this time I really wanted to participate in a lgbt craft sale,
I'm part of the lgbt and artsy, but my older sister wasn't (she's artsy but not lgbt)
and we wernt allowed cuz she was straight and cis
You got the wrong “hypocritical”. You got it mixed with hippocratic as in the Hippocratic oath doctors take named after its creator Hippocrates.
The exception to this would be adult-only events at Pride. They do exist and Pride organizers make it abundantly clear when certain events or days are age-restricted.
@@cccaaawww8685 Hippcritical just means that you're critical of hippos
Last year at pride I ran into a tipsy straight guy. I was in interesting makeup (mix between drag and sfx) and he complimented me. We got talking and he admitted that this was his first time not seeing queer people as an other, he’d never looked down on us, but he’d been scared to approach. But I’m from one of the gayest cities in the world, if you’re within a 3 mine radius of the parade, you’re at an event, and if you’re in any part of the city, you’ll see people coming and going to the event. That meant when he and his buddy had to go out, he had to cross through the parade route. He was welcomed with open arms, given food and water (very hot day), danced with, he’d been interacting with gay men for the first time in a context he knew they were gay, and it wasn’t the scary situation he’d been taught. He openly admitted the parade completely changed his view of queer people, and he’d made a couple friends who were gay that day.
This alone is enough of a reason to allow straight people at events, it’s about community, and love, and he (just like many others) was able to see that.
Hell yeah! I’m glad he realized pride is more than the scare tactics that homophobes out on us.
What’s the difference between gay and queer? I feel like queer is more of a political identity these days rather than sexual orientation. The mainstream news media refuses to even use the word gay anymore, it’s all about the lgbtq+ umbrella now. Gay men get called transphobic for not wanting to date someone with a vagina, and lesbians are shamed for not wanting “girldick” - the activists complaining at gays for being same-sex attracted are incredibly homophobic.
He was drunk. He probably wasn't even really straight😂
@@EnclaviousFiraga tipsy, and yeah probably was, many straight people wind up at pride, especially when it takes up three neighborhoods of space
I love this! I’ve experienced what I kinda jokingly refer to as “reverse gay panic” at times. I was at an art exhibit one day when I noticed an individual who appeared AMAB wearing more effeminate clothing. It was genuinely one of my first experiences realizing that I had no guess as to what they identified as and normally that’d be okay, I’d just naturally leave them be. But I LOVED their outfit and every time I came across them in the exhibit I was admiring the bold colors and the accessories and shoes. Around this time I’d also been given the therapy assignment to be more bold and outgoing, even with strangers. My therapist is a proponent of making a human connection, even if it’s just a compliment because “most people are flattered to hear someone say something kind about them!”. So I knew I wanted to say something.
I ended up lowkey stalking them in the gift shop while I was trying to build up the courage to speak to them and also use “they/them” pronouns in conversation to be polite and make sure I wasn’t assuming. I walked up to them and started babbling and realized words were coming out and I didn’t know what exactly I was saying. But I guess my nervous babbling made sense because they brightened up more than their amazing outfit and were so kind to me. We then chatted about their shoes and how they usually don’t dress like that all the time, mostly when they’re going to be out all day. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and happy cried because I’d gotten it into my head that I’d somehow offend them and the interaction was so positive. It’s a core memory and one I love :,)
As a straight guy, pride parades are the best. Everyones so nice
The most adorable comment I've seen all day....
FR!!
Same! I'm a proud ally
Sup fellow straight guy. I've never been to a pride parade but I want to go to one so bad
Absolutely! You can celebrate queer identities without being queer yourself. You're cool :)
1. They could be straight trans people who are part of the community
2. They could be closeted or bisexual and only appear to be straight
3. They could be there to support a friend or family member who invited them to come
4. they could be an ally who showed up to support the community
Yeah, they seem to forget one of the As in the long version of LGBTQA+ stands for Ally
Never thought the queer community would hate their own because they identify as straight even though they don't their birth gender
@ville__bot
@@clarehidalgo Isnt the A supposed to be Asexual or Ace? just figured i'd ask.
@@Mikescool444 no, it is. the A is for asexual, not for ally.
The whole point of pride was to be for everyone, regardless of sexuality, as long as you're not a bigot and not a weirdo(creep, perv, etc) I think you're allowed to come. Like ESPECIALLY if you're a genuine ally
I actually feel motivated to go to a pride parade now lmao
Why would you support pride itself anyways? Pride means you are better than anyone else. That was why many Christians are offended...
What's your definition of weirdo
probably neurodivergent
@@dawnpaoloabes8441That's absolutely not what "weirdo" means in this context. OP meant people who fetishize, sexualize, or chase queer people like objects, people who are attending to harass trans people that don't "pass", people who are terfs, transphobes, queerphobes, just awful people in general that act in weird ways but still want to be part of the celebration.
Anyone who says straight people don't belong at pride either forgot/doesn't care about:
-Non-cis people who identify as straight
-Parents of queer kids
-Children of queer parent(s)
-Significant others of bisexual, pansexual, or non-cis people
-Friends of queer people (not everyone has a partner or parent to take with them to pride)
Also, I have to wonder if the same people who say "no straights at pride" are also ace/aro exclusionists, which puts heteromantic aces (like me!) or heterosexual aros in a weird position as well.
In my experiences as an old-as-dirt aroace, the exclusionists already consider us "spicy straights", so they definitely are the same as the "no straights at Pride" crowd.
just like melasn said, the exclusionists will always find some way to target the aces, so yes, I'd say they are most likely the same crowd.
This. My partner and I are cis/straight, but we're going to be with and support our friends.
I still struggle to truly be myself thanks to exclusionists, like it's not bad enough having to deal with cis straight bigots. I'm a non-binary pansexual person, yet because I still present as male I still get shit from a lot of gay guys for identifying as queer. Not to mention I still find myself accepting male pronouns just to avoid any violence in a area primarily dominated by the right. I also have a tendency to identify as bi, because it's still better than having to explain what being pansexual even is. Not even gonna start on the "so you fuck pans?" line 😞
The exclusionists hurt, I have had to deal with so much stuff from people outside of the community. I've really lost my will to fight for my identity thanks to exclusionists, I know who I am, but I have folded on my pronouns as a Non-binary person on so many occasions just to avoid confrontation. As well as just identifying as bi, because I somehow get less hate than when I identify properly as pansexual
I swear to god this whole thing of "No Straights at pride" shit started bcs of exclusionists (examples, aphobes, tranphobes interphobes, bi/panphobes, ect.) In my, humble, opinion- this topic is not a clear yes or no answer because there are straight trans people (People that are attracted to the opposite gender they identify as), there are straight asexuals (people who are in a romantic/queerplatonic relationship with the other gender) there are straight intersex people (people who are attracted to the other gender they mostly present as). Just bcs they're attracted to the other gender, it doesnt mean they're not queer. And besides, its good that straights are going to pride parades, bcs its a chance for them to learn MORE about what it means to be Queer. You can meet a lot of new friends, or even find out you're queer yourself.
If you see anyone complaining about a bi woman having/bringing their cishet bf to pride, block and ignore them, 9 times out of 10 they're either a exclusionist, a terf or a biphobe.
(Edit for clarity)
A trans person physically cannot be straight, because this means that you deny their gender identification, therefore it destroys the very concept of sex change, and it also makes you transphobic, that's why there is such a term as a transbian (trans + lesbian) .
As for asexuals and aromatics, people generally doubt that they can be considered an orientation, after all, if you are not able to experience romantic/sexual attraction, then this is a trauma or simply a lack of motivation.
This is the same as calling yourself non-binary, but using the pronouns he or she, this is illogical, I believe that people need to rework this system so that there is no confusion, because even representatives of LGBT+ and other similar movements are confused in terminology, let alone bigots who create stereotypes and negative attitudes towards these movements.
Hating straight people (and especially "straight" people who are still LGBT+) is the exact same deal as hating gay people: there's no place for hate, sorry.
Well-put!
Hell yeah!!! Straight people are more than welcome to pride parades, there can be a million reasons why they’re present. Whether it’s celebrating their partners, supporting their family, or just learning more about their community everyone is welcome.
Allies are good, always free to join in. It’s always good to support people around you :)
And some people think heterophobia isn't real...
Do people forget that straight people can be queer too? I have a male friend who's on the aroace spectrum and as far as I know has only ever experienced attraction towards women. Him being straight doesn't make him any less aroace.
Being straight does not necessarily mean you aren't queer, ace straights, aro straights and trans straights exist too and they aren't any less queer, that's like saying a cis gay guy can't be queer because he's cis, doesn't make sense at all. And even if someone is cishet they can still go and support their family/friends and show their allyship which is really important, so yeah straight people definitely should be at pride unless it's not for malicious intent
Greet. This one is cishet and very likely aro, maybe with some hint of ace too I guess.
Supporting people is cool.
Y’all really just making this dumb ass shit up at this point XD anything to be “different” I suppose!
@@gravemaster8747 Weird to say for someone calling themselves grave master, do you love making up being a necrophile to feel different ?
I honestly enjoy the idea of straight and cisgender people coming to pride events! Everyone can partake, everyone can enjoy the event, everyone can learn!
If they don't try to learn how to support us, that's how bigotry begins.
@@justsomeanimatorWell it's mostly left politicalism that causes inequality.
I'm a minor💀
Exactly, and I'll gladly attend when I get the chance!
cisgender people where always allowed.
Friend of mine went to a Pride Parade a few years back, he's a married guy with kids, but he was just there to show his support; half way through the even two guys approach him and start flirting with him, my friend then proceeds to inform them that he's not actually gay and is already married, the two guys that approached him immediately start to berate and threaten him...
I'm sorry about that, just know that some people are unironically threatning if they misinterprate the message of their so loved tradition, in this case the homosexuals might have fthink of your friend as an intruder, I mean ngl I'm straight and their comportement is just horrible but I gave this logic to you to say that not all of them act like that and a lot of homosexuals are chill and if he wanna go to a pride parade he should be and is allowed to no matter how much people say it's not ok ❤️
Ironic that straights can be homophobic yet the queer can be straightphobic
Jesus, hetero people can’t win no matter what they do 😒😒😒
@@gabrielboudjema4076 I know, most LGBTQ people I've met have been some of the friendliest and genuinely great to hang out with, just bringing this up because some of the other comments seem to be of a more hostile stance; conflicts are not always one-sided, but you're right that those few don't represent the whole community...
@@ProcyonDei I was mostly saying this for your friend lol
this is like the whole "male feminist debate", feminism is about achieving equality, so is pride. anyone can partake in that effort.
Always the extremist wanting to ban people in these situations
Motte and Bailey ploy.
All the laws and everything for feminism to achieve the mission of equality were passed back around 60 years ago. And since then feminism has actually pushed things to where the situation is female favoritism.
Bring up this and you’ll get of course it’s about equality but the second that ends it’s all about pushing for more female privilege and more pro female favoritism, and even more importantly, hatred of men and demonization of all that is masculine.
Pride is supposedly about respecting sexual minorities, but in reality, it’s a big political thing about pushing an agenda that normalizes infidelity, STI’s, HIV, pedophilia, mutilation, and a large variety of repulsive abberations.
But call put the disease vectoring, the apologizing for pedophilia, and the mutilation of minors, and suddenly it’s about none of those things but instead about equality and the second after that discussion and they’re all about how to poison your kids with hormones and chop their nardz off.
Egalitarianism is actually treating everyone, regardless of factors, equally. Feminism is and has always been about uplifting women, it might branch to cover others, but it inherently is focused on one aspect above others.
@@MyAramil I mean obviously it's about uplifting women, that's because women are the ones with _less rights._ But it's still about equality.
I think I actually shed a tear when you spoke about the sheer amount of hatred Bi people and men go through. I have never heard anyone speak about Biphobia, and I've heard very few people speaking on how men get mistreated and demonized for existing. Being a bisexual man has been hell for the year I've came out thanks to people constantly telling me to die or that I just don't exist all because of things I can't change about myself... As someone who came out as Bi since last year, I have never felt so validated and heard in my life until today. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
If you want a bi focused channel, I highly recommend Verily Bitchie. She makes a lot of videos discussing media through a bi lens and biphobia comes up as a topic she takes seriously quite often. She even has one video specifically talking about bi men.
Think shoeonhead made a video about how bisexual people are treated since she's a bisexual woman. Might be cathartic to see.
A trans friend of mine once told me "the left has no worse enemy than itself" and every time I see people talk about their lived experience it just proves that to me.
Yeah btw fuck tiktok
Hi :) Tbh this comment has really stuck out to me, because I completely get how terrifying biphobia can be. We experience homophobia if open with partners of the same gender, or "straight privilege" gatekeeping if you're with someone of the opposite, and god forbid you be dating a GNC person/trans person??
However I can confirm just how genuine Fionapollo is in her words here about defending people who are bisexual--she's my partner, and I came out to her as bisexual around 4 years into our relationship. She has been /nothing/ but supportive, wonderful, and constantly a thorn in my side whenever David fucking Tennant appears on screen.
I wish you luck on your journey.
@@takingaraincheck5822 Seeing this made my day! It feels great knowing I'm not alone for once
im a queer person with a straight friend whos a huge ally. she came to pride with me, loves watching queer movies, is super into drag, etc. i love her sm lol
Theres also the issue of anyone in the closet. If they "pass" for heteronormativity how are they going to feel safe coming out?
I'm not even in the closet, but I don't really feel the need to mention I'm gay most of the time, so I've been confidently called straight dozens of times only to go, "Uh... no."
I'm a straight, cis guy married to an ace wife. I've got no problem with attending a Pride event as an ally.
X
Ace, you mean someone who prefers partnership over sex,
@@skootergirl22 Asexual. That's ace.
@@skootergirl22asexuals feel romantic attraction but little to no sexual attraction, the person still has romantic feelings and can still have sex with their partner as an expression of love in many cases, but they don’t have the impulse to in itself
I forgot I was a lesbian for a hot second there and almost went “I want to go to pride and I’m straight”
Ignore me being dumb
that's a mood
I know it was a mistake but this honestly made me smile 😂😂😂
Honestly, pretty relatable. I keep getting into situations where I go "I as a guy, do not fall into this stereotype. Oh, wait, damn, I'm not a guy anymore. Crap."
If it makes you feel any better, I used to believe that you could get electrocuted if you wore headphones when I was little and would refuse to wear them and argue with the teacher when I refused to wear them in the computer lab
Thanks for the chuckle, I've done that with my own age multiple times lol, though I've also randomly forgotten I'm trans before as well so mood ^^' (if that's not clear, the part I forget is my AGAB, not that it doesn't match who I am)
This type of thinking, and _especially_ the biphobia that surrounds it, is the reason it took me as long as I did to realize that I was bi. I always had this nagging fear that my attraction to women would mean I wouldn't be welcome, and that I would somehow be a "disappointment" to the queer community. I do largely think this was just general social anxiety speaking, and I've since known better, but I think just reducing the stigma associated with bisexuality as a whole could do wonders for everyone.
Or Miss labeling Male Bisexual as a stepping stone to fully coming out as Gay or something else like Transgender. This is why I only found out I was a male Bisexual September 5, 2011 at 22 years old.
It depends in my opinion, I don't mind if somehow who is a straight ally/person comes to pride tbh. I'd honestly be happy that they can support friends and/or family or just not mind about them at all as long as they aren't problematic! ^^
Best #1 rule to live by - Its ok to have an asshole just dont be one.
@@skywise001 YOURE SO RIGHT 🤣
@@skywise001I’d be more worried if you _didn’t have one…_
@@skywise001LOLOLOL
Some LGBTQ+ people can be problematic. Look at Blair White at pride.
this is a little bit of a different subject than the video, but one thing i'm glad you mentioned was the whole "all men are the enemy" thing that's going on. As a trans man who doesn't like to be out as trans on the internet, I feel like I should keep my mouth shut about it, but it's really hard to want to transition when everyone's telling you that a man is the worst thing you can be (-not to mention the use of the term 'transmascs' by other man-hating members of the community instead of just 'men' to create a distinction most trans men don't even want.) Anyway, just happy someone mentioned that, because I was scared to say anything about it. Great video and artwork
Unfortunately, TREF (Rowling is an example, but unfortunately she is not the only one) under the guise of false "Feminism" dehumanized men and trans people :/
That's the thing I've ALWAYS hated about the "all men are the devil" take because of how it can all too easily become a pipeline for just outright transphobia. That, IMO is the part that doesn't get talked about enough.
Fr. I've been wronged by cis men, too, but if someone's going to say "I hate all men" and then go "but not trans guys!!" that's just. It's transphobia with extra steps. It's telling me that I'm not a man without saying the exact words.
@@gekirobo8720 it's also bad because your labeling 50% of the human race as "evil" just because of the gender they were born/ identity with. But also what you said is true.
@@gekirobo8720 Villainizing a whole group of people like that is not okay period.
Yes, we shouldn't gatekeep people from celebrating Pride just because they aren't Queer, saying a straight person can't come to Pride is like saying white people can't join a BLM rally. This is goes without saying that the statement can be seen as transphobic since trans people who like the opposite gender are not considered gay because their assigned gender matches their partner's.
They only got a month to celebrate
What of the disabled?
@@skootergirl22 What about military veterans, what about the refugees in our country, what about cavalcade of people who have it harder in life by virtue of not being a slice of American white bread?
@@skootergirl22 I really don't want to misery measure groups of people here but queer people have been treated with disgust and often times have been killed for being queer. Disabled people have also been treated not great, and only recently has society gotten better about said treatment. I don't know how you are defining disabled, but in the past queer people have been hated for existing, disabled people had the luxury of their circumstances acknowledged as being out of their control (in most cases, again our understanding of mental health has only gotten better and was so much worse before).
@@q-tip9962 I will say that proper gatekeeping is essential.
Before I get called out. I will explain, please do not lamblast me for this.
Proper gatekeeping is allowing those who have an interest in the thing, That they want to learn more, participate in or enjoy the thing. Meanwhile when someone comes in wanting to be problematic, those people are not let into the group. Such as how Zoophiles or MAPS try to sneak their way into LGBT+ (for reference when I talk about zoophiles, I do not mean furries who dress up as animals or have anthro OC's or enjoy that kinda thing, I mean actual animals) where those people are not permited entry into the community, nor would people who clearly are trying to spread hate (either from non LGBT or from LGBT who sit in circle jerks and hate against straights for being straight, those people do not deserve platforms either)
In the later case, it is more about protecting the community from toxic elements, rather than having(for lack of a better term) a middle school set of boys who post a sign that says "no gurls aloud"
This whole thing about whether straight/cis people should attend pride can be boiled down to coming to terms with the fact that, as queer folk, we’re always going to have some people hate us regardless of how we conducts ourselves. People are usually less incentivized to listen to and empathize if all we’re accomplishing is putting up a further divide between them and us (And of course if we’re just antagonizing someone, they’ll end up playing victim hood instead of actually realizing where they might have went wrong). And that it’s best to surround ourselves with those who genuinely do care about us.
If we want others to listen to us and empathize with us, we should help them do so.
The "Down with cis" meme was created by a post on trumblr about a bus with trans people who got off it and started attacking people, shouting this beautiful text "Down with cis", the story was so unrealistic that it is now considered a meme
The story was also originally posted by an account that (iirc) made up a _ton_ of fake stories to post on Tumblr with the express purpose of having them posted to the subreddit r/TumblrInAction after other Tumblr users reacted to the posts. It is incredibly wild in hindsight that anyone ever thought the Down With Cis bus was real lmao
Throught 7 years of me using youtube i constantly just randomly find your comments specifically and i just think its such a crazy coincidence i finally have to comment on it.
Not the Down With Cis bus 😂 that’s a blast from the past. If anyone legitimately thought it was real then they should know that gullible is written on the ceiling as well.
@@brianc4632the down with cis bus,,,,
As a straight man that has been in a couple of Pride Parades I find the idea of banning non queer people from it actually stupid, not for me, I couldn´t care less (Was there to provide numerical support) but one of the most revealing moments of the entire thing was when one of my friends convinced her mom to go there too, she was at the time still on the fringe about accepting her, but seeing her daughter having an entire community of people to support and cheer for her moved her immensely. Her Straight sister was there too, so the entire thing was a real before/after for their relationship and she getting out of the closet...
Also was kinda fun when her mom came to me and was like "Oh my, are you gay too?" all sad and surprised... Still cracks me up
I feel like corporations pander to pride such as selling merchandise and stop by July
@@skootergirl22so just like with every other holiday?
@@Spacey_key not autism awareness
@@skootergirl22there is merchindise for AAM
@@skootergirl22 There is Merch for AAM
"no straights at pride" is such a silly thing to say, considering the fact that there ARE queer straight people. asexual heteroromantic people, aromantic heterosexual people, transhet people, nonbinary straight people, and probably more that i can't think of. and let's not forget straight-passing couples (queer-platonic couples and romantic couples included in this) and just people that support. allies aren't part of the lgbtq+ community, but their support still matters. cishet people showing their support isn't a bad thing! wouldn't you want people to support their kids/family/friends/just the community in general?
my dad is cishet, heck he's even a christian but he still attends/attended pride in the past. he supports me and my queer siblings. even though he's still learning, he does his best to support the community, and that means something.
thank you for making this video, you made a lot of good points. (a lot of which i also made here in this comment)
tldr: straight queer people exist and cishet people should be allowed to show their support at pride
As long as they're respectful, I really couldn't care less-like, come on down! Have fun!
Also I think people are forgetting that you can be straight and still a part of the community, plenty of trans people are straight, there's straight asexuals, nonbinary people who prefer to label themselves as straight, all kinds of things. It's not a black and white matter of "straights cant come" and "not straight people can come" and I'm saying all this as a lesbian lol
Ok i wont say shit but if anyone touches me they will be introduced to Mr.Staberty, and i dont want to hear any complaints. (I dont care if its even a hand on the shoulder.)
@lindinle Queer people aren't harmless your also gonna be stabbed my man. Don't start blasting if you arnt ready to be jumped by a bunch of people who just watched you stab a guy for seemingly no reason. Like the fucks your logic here???
My long story short:
I'm a 35 year old trans man who didn't come out and transition until my 30s. My husband passed away in 2021. We got married in 2014.
Before coming out as trans in my 30s, I was a bisexual woman.
I'm also disabled.
To go to pride i'd have needed my cishet husband to come with me, because disabled.
Now though.. still disabled because born disabled but regardless... turns out, i'm a *gasp* straight trans man. And now I look like a cishet (despite not being cis) man... I might as well be a demon in the lgbt community. At least that's how many people make me feel. I just look like a regular dude, and that's all I want. I'm still trans though, I can't change that.
One thing that hasn't changed is I still do not feel welcome at pride.
Despite what the B and T stand for.
No one even thinks about disabled lgbt people (including invisible disabilities). Or straight trans people. I've never been to pride and at this rate, I never will. Besides not feeling welcome they are never accessible.
Love the video by the way! That's just my own story/rant.
Aw crap I'm sorry. Please do know that this discourse of straight people not being welcome comes from a very very small minority of the community, and sometimes I question if they are even really from the community (and not just hateful people pretending to be, so they can start an argument and create some sort of divide or bad rep for us).
Do you know of Jamie? He's a RUclipsr, straight trans guy. He's in a committed relationship with Shaaba, she's also on RUclips and bisexual. Maybe their content can remind you of the good people in the community, you'll see that they both have a huge amount of followers and I hope this can help you feel more welcome again.
I don't think pride parades or parties will become very accessible anytime soon, sadly the core of it seems to be at odds with so many disabilities, physical or mental. Maybe someday :/ or maybe an alternative, such as a 360°camera on a parade to tune in from home, will become available.
Unfortunately, ableism is a beast that has no end + Similarly, it treats queer Muslims (I'm not Muslim, for context, but I see people's reactions on the Internet), as intruders, or "You're Muslim, you can't be queer"
Unfortunately, being a spectrum of several traits (Discriminated) means that you cannot fit in and feel safe in these groups
@@undefinederror40404 I know of him and he's said that's he's bi. They've both said they both are. I do love his videos though :)
Thank you for the comment though. It's nice to see. It can be so easy to focus on the negative but I am sure the negative is the minority. The negative can just be so loud sometimes.
Thank you again
They were 32 when they transitioned.
@@LiteraryStoner Ok so 32 give or take a year. Im still right xD
The only threat to pride is big corporations. Also, I've seen people, for the most part, start to drop the term "ally". While there are levels to the amount of oppression people face, it is abundantly clear after Roe that all of our struggles are combined.
Yes, but when some happen to support in a positive way like a person say a or a All becuse a cult group in USA who wants every minority back from where they came or the Cult wants groups like Natives Dead similar to all learning, we know a good portion of USA does not feel this way and when places are fixed in such a way nobody can win in elections ever in some districts
See as a minor I don’t always feel comfortable going to places I’m not used to without my mom, especially somewhere like a pride event where there is a risk. I live in the Midwest where being a member of the LGBTQ community is still very scrutinized and looked down upon. Also I have a straight boyfriend, and would love to in the future be able to go to those events with him, I understand why some people would have and issue with straight people attending, but I believe as long as they ate allies there really shouldn’t be a problem
To be honest, I don't see why anyone has an issue with straight people going to show support and/or learn. I think what needs to be assumed for there to be a problem, is that straight people are either always hateful or going to cause a problem. Which is a bad assumption to make :/
Blocking allies from joining us sounds very counter-productive to me. The more we unite the stronger we stand!
as an enby lesbian, the closer that i get to 30, the less of a fuck i give tbh. so long as the person supports our cause and supports US let them be there, damnit.
same idea here, as long as they're not against us, what's the big issue with them being there and celebrating, it's more positive to have them around too, cuz that's more support for us. (p.s nice to see another enby, hi)
@@shakirashipslied9721 imo having their straight bfs there is also an expression of bi girls' bisexuality so implying they shouldnt be allowed to have them there is kinda biphobic imo as well yfm??
also yes hi :D
@@BlackReshiram That's right, it is biphobic to not allow them to express their attraction freely, when one of the tenets of pride is celebrating "love is love", guess it stops being relevant in their minds when the bisexuals don't date someone explicitly queer. Imagine how they'd react if you told them they couldn't bring their queer partners.
Heyy ✨✨
@@shakirashipslied9721 some people just end up being intensily unnecessarily territorial and defensive ig and i fucking hate that. i get that having "normies" there might be anxiety inducing for some people esp if someones had to defend and justify their entire existence 24/7 to cishet people, but that doesnt mean they got a right to make their trauma everyone else's problem
anyway im stepping down from my soapbox now lmao
@@BlackReshiram Yep, that's right. It's problematic to generalize what certain people did onto an entire group. I'll be coming right down too 💀💅
Fear of rejection hatred can be terrible things. I feel this is honestly when most of the discourse comes from because there is always the fear of straight people coming to Pride just to be horrible to you.
To everyone, you are all worthy of love whoever you are and fight fear of everything you got, you can do this great day, week and weekend.
I actually don't see any problem in Pride being both a party and a protest at the same time. We are protesting hatred by being loud and proud about our queer nature, and with more young people identifying as queer, we are showing the world that we will not be silenced!
As such, straight allies who come in support, either toward specific loved ones or the community as a whole, should be welcomed with open arms. We want to create a society that embraces all the diverse ways there are to be human. So, while queer-only spaces are valuable for discussion, public pride celebrations should remain just that: Public!
As one final addition: I'm ABAB, and before I was out as Asexual and non-binary, I was a straight ally to my at the time trans girlfriend (who is still one of my best friends, and incidentally came to support ME at Pride yesterday!). The queer community offered me resources and information on queer identities, so those who come to Pride as cishet/allos may not remain that way forever!
TL;DR: Pride can be the best way to publicly crack an egg ;)
Thank you for admitting it for what it is. A celebration of the animalistic want to fuck.
Poorly guised with sugar coated language
@@lindinle Did you just forget that pride also celebrates asexuality (WHEN THEY SPECIFICALLY SAID THEY WERE ASEXUAL, no less) and trans people? Neither of those are about wanting to fuck.
Even when it does come to sex, it’s not any more sexual than straight people wanting to do it. It’s just asking to be treated the same.
As to jokes at straight peoples expense... I'm not in the queer community (though I am ace), but I spend a lot of time in the autism community and there seems to be a lot of overlap. I'm very, very not neurotypical, I've been traumatized (a *lot*) by neurotypicals, and I hate Autism Speaks as much as the next autistic. But I do find degrading jokes about neurotypicals distasteful, I don't feel like they need to be made and I used to make them in front of my neurotypical friend and he often seemed genuinely hurt. I just... there are other ways to relate, without putting anyone down. Again, I'm not in the queer community, maybe I should just shut up, but I don't think saying potentially hurtful things is ever nessacary, even as trauma bonding. Maybe, instead, we can look for similarities and try to create a more receptive environment where we can just communicate our needs and struggles with the demographics in the majority. Isn't this world already divided enough?
I think it's similar to jokes about us: sometimes a joke about autism or lgbtqia+ aspects can be funny, the key is for them to not be hurtful and degrading. Something that starts as self-depricating, something light hearted, usually jokes made by those part of our groups. People outside of the groups get it wrong more often, they more often joke in a way that makes us the laughing matter..
It's interesting how that can be mirrored sometimes, for example how straight people are now getting hurt by jokes about them that were done in poor taste. But it seems to only hurt those we don't want to hurt, and those who make hurtful jokes about us just see it as an invite to punch down harder.
All that to say, I don't see how it has any benefit at all and fully agree with you. Sometimes it's a genuine mistake, when a joke is meant to be funny but turns out bad. But most of the time it's on purpose, and that has to stop.
@@undefinederror40404 Gosh... I wish the world could just... not be the way it is. Be kind and at peace. One day.
The A in LGBTQIA+ stands for "asexual"; you're included no matter what acephobics say!
@@buttercupkat Actually I think it, at least originally, is for ally, but I do know that ace is under the pride umbrella, I simply have different interests, generally (like autism!).
@@nikacomedawn Did a bit of research--the "a" was introduced in 2015 with the intent of being for asexuals/aromantics/agenders; there's been a lot of pushback against it being for "allies" as that's seen as queer erasure, but no worries, I know you didn't mean anything by it! Makes sense, sexuality/identity for a lot of queer people isn't a _huge_ deal which you are valid for >:D
Happy Pride Month 🎉🏳️🌈
This just reminds me of the photos I see occasionally of straight ppl coming into Pride with “I offer free hugs!” and “Proud parent of my [insert identity] kid!” and that is just wholesomeness that apparently gets ignored when it comes to the *concept* of Pride events (or at least my parents didn’t know that it wasn’t all LGBT people)
They can is they want. Nothing is stopping them from coming, and they just need to be respectful.
Yeah most of us dont want to. And dont even start with that "be respectful" bullshit either.
@@lindinle Cool. We wouldn’t want you there either
@@lindinle cool. piss off then. Why are you so obsessed with us? kinda wild...
Thank you to the two twits that prove my point
@@4ngels444 says the guy who thinks he's so special he deserves a whole month to himself. Not only that , anyone who disagrees even slightly must be shunned
"At the end of the day, we want people to see us as equals. And that has to go both ways." YES. Just- this.
Not gonna lie: I looked at the title and was like "Aw darn, here we go. Another person jumping on the bandwagon". There's so much negativity nowadays that myself - being CH myself, but an full-on ally - I feel honestly scared to express my opinion for fear of getting hate-mobbed. So happy to that you didn't go that direction.
Takes like yours should be given so much more platform! Hope that more people break out of that "us vs them" paradigm, that seems to be taking both sides and poisoning them against one another.
As long as people are supportive of course!!!! People can support things that don't affect them, unless they are trying to be the center of attention.
Aren't most pride parades held in public spaces anyway? You literally cannot try to gatekeep an entire part of a town/city, that's delusional. 😐
Exactly! If you want more control over who gets to attend an event, hold it on private property.
@@mattdombrowski8435 Even if you did that, how would someone "prove" that they are queer? It's the same problem that TERFs have when they try to create "cis lesbians only" spaces.
Saying its a joke doesn't make it a joke. Its just spiteful and mean spirited
I always hated when someone tried to use it, especially when the joke was incredibly rude/offensive.
*sighs* The fact that this discussion is still going on has me tired as an older millenial. But I get your points, I nearly winced when you mentioned the Tumblr roots because it's true. The Exclusinary mentality really did happen around that time (though there was probably some prior to Tumblr era but it got exsaberated with Tumblr. But honestly due to these arguments had me wanting to read in the future Bell Hook's The Will to Change and how misogyny also hurts men as well and how to combat it in healthier ways. I feel it can be applied here too how feminine cis het men could be persicuted for not being "the perfect alpha/beta/sigma man" or not being "queer enough" to go to pride. Hopefully I can get to it soon because I'm finding more and more situations that this book could be applicable. (Ace Agender-fem fluid here btw)
Can we talk about how good the art is? Like bro I can barely draw a strait line. This is stunning!
I'm a 24 year old cis guy, 7 months ago I realised I'm bi. I'm out to people around me but I'm very "straight presenting" and I've been single all my life (possibly because I fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum but I'm not sure I'm ready to unpack that just yet). What you said about not being able to tell if someone is queer just by looking at them hits very close to home for me. Thanks for talking sense when there's so much nonsense out there. (Also your art is great!)
Me and my mom go to pride under the guise that "I'm an ally" when in reality I'm a closeted lesbian. :) Just thought I'd share that, because if I had to be out, I couldn't go to pride at all!
Say it with me guys!
STRAIGHT👏PEOPLE👏CAN👏STILL👏BE👏QUEER👏
It doesn't make sense, because queer is literally a term for people whose gender or orientation differs from heteros and cisgender
@@user-zg1wm7fj9ti agreed. That literally dont make sense though.
Thats like saying someone can be transgender without going through surgery at all.
@@user-zg1wm7fj9t No, it’s just another term for people who identify as lgbtq.
Even then, you can be heterosexual and biromantic, heterosexual and homoromantic, homosexual and heteroromantic, asexual and straight, aromantic and straight, aspec and straight, ect.
@@user-zg1wm7fj9tYou're literally kicking out the possibility of a trans straight person. 😐
@@Whitefangbioweapon You CAN be trans without getting surgery, oml.
Anyone in a marginalized group should know better than to discriminate against an entire group of people based on one trait.
Pride is for everyone. Pride is all about inclusion, difference and celebration. It is not a "gay supremacy" parade, and anyone who wants it to be is not welcome.
@ville__ Mask off moment?
@@PlatinumAltariabot account there, just report it.
@@PlatinumAltaria I've seen you in comments before, hi! Also that guy is a bot who posts awful things, just report them
Why must people exclude? What does that achieve? Rules for thee and not for me much? Everyone should be invited to the party, as the point is everyone is on the same level nowadays.
Pride is about celebrating that we are all getting rights and are happy to be ourselves? Why shame people for who they are? That goes against the core of this whole belief system we champion.
Omg im also ace lesbian! Happy pride and also thank you for adressing the gatekeeping and everything else couldn't agree more. We need to let people be allies 👍👍👍
"I demand you support my group so we can exclude you!"
Um...
Yes because pride is for everyone and we should respect our straight and cis allies.
No one should be excluded from Pride as long as they support it. Another issue is people ASSUMING people are straight. Just because someone SEEMS to be or IS in a relationship with the opposite sex does NOT make them straight. I'm demi-sexual, but since I'm in a relationship with a man, everyone assumes I'm straight.
I love inviting my straight mom, and she loves showing up and supporting me. She also loves lecturing the protestors on how their Christian values are flawed.
I'm like you, I'm really fed up with these kinds of arguments tbh. I think we should just go "yes because you can't gatekeep without excluding queer and lgbt people on accident which would make it much more unsafe than random allies attending pride" and move on. At least try to because discourse everywhere isn't easy to ignore.
There's aros and aces, m-spec (bi, pan...) people, and trans people of all orientations that could be mistaken as "straight" for passing reasons. I don't even think it should really be a debate in the first place because it's just so obvious, it's really annoying that we have this kind of discourse every year.
Not, the thing, I was thinking of
But, still... Another group of people, others debate on if they should be at Pride or not
... And I'm still wondering, if my city is the only one that celebrates pride, all month. As in, every day of June, has a pride activity. Not just the parade
My area they have little events and the like. But nothing as big as the parade. Your city sounds lovely :)
Yes. Very simply.
Wow, a headline the answer is 'yes'.
But yes, they should come to be allies and support local businesses. I'm not Greek, but I love to eat at the Greek festival; etc and so forth. It's a celebration of culture.
to paraphrase the best answer i heard to this debate; "i would rather have actually supportive straight people attend pride, than have no supportive straight people at all"
I've never been to a pride event before...mainly because I live in a small town and big events aren't common here.
But even though I'm straight, I take pride in being an Ally. I've long supported the LGBTQ+ Community since I first saw the small amounts of media rep on TV when I was sixteen. While I'm aware that TV, movies and other things of the like may exaggerate the mannerisms of gay people; I still found it all delightfully amusing.
My favorite at the time was Dion from Braceface, who is one of the teachers of Sharon Spitz at the High School. He's friendly, witty, caring and has just the right amount of sass. But I think the main reason I've come to love the LGBTQ+ Community so much is...in some small ways, I can relate to their struggles.
I know how it feels to be mocked, bullied, insulted and belittled simply for who or what you are. In MY case, I'm a "special needs" individual who lives with a disorder called Congenital Hydrocephalus; a thing that isn't as widely known/talked about as Autism or ADHD. I was bulled by several of my peers from the age of ten all the way up through High School till 2004. There were moments where I actually came close to breaking and either attacking them back with full force or hurting MYSELF out of shame.
Thankfully; I had a good family, friends, kind neighbors, compassionate teachers and a passion for reading that kept me pushing through.
So, you can see why my heart aches so painfully whenever I hear about the struggles of the LGBT
I'd love to go to pride because almost everyone around me is queer (my mom, her friends, coworkers, and business partner, my brother, and some of my friends) and I'd love to be there to support them! Sadly I haven't yet because of schedule conflicts 😅
I view me going being similar to a parent attending their kids school play or smth, my loved ones being the focus and me cheering them on! 🥰
I'm glad your views on the discourse is the same as mine. Some communities just have subgroups that get really hung on excluding others, as if a "revenge" on the oppression the group has suffered. All while ignoring the importance of allies for general acceptance to be achieved.
When I got into uni, the far-right had just won the presidential election here, and I really wanted to help progressive causes overall. I tried to understand how the feminist group and the queer group at my college worked, but I basically was excluded from them because I was a straight guy. Move forward a few years and I've just figured out I'm trans. And I've only been able to do so because I already had tons of queer friends that normalized a bunch of stuff to me and who I knew would support me. One of them even jokes we finally figured out what sort of queer I was. So, yeah, including straight people helps the community get support and helps them sometimes feel safe exploring maybe being queer
Of course they should be allowed to attend. As long as their respectful and supportive that’s all that matters
Ally with a Bisexual wife, I have faced this before and my response has always been "You must be very confident in your ability to win the fight for LGBT rights if you are turning down allies". I am happy to see so much of the queer community is being so supportive of allies. despite having watched your material for a while I was still nervous about what you might say.
Happy to see you your content and the art piece looks wonderful.
The way I see it, if you want people to see you as equals and to respect you, being outwardly hostile towards those people is very counter-productive. It's more likely to make them actively hostile in return and create even more problems for you.
- Your Friendly Neighborhood cishet man
Exactly. In order to successfully convince people to share your view you have to present your opinion consistently, and not pressure/force people into adopting it. And attacking them is definitely (and obviously) not going to help.
You know, it's not always the case that when they hurt you, the lack of defense will do you more harm than good... I'm speaking from Poland, where in 2020 there was a media campaign against LGBT+ people
@@cupcaketv5673 Well, if they beat you for being queer, will you be able to explain it to them...
@@gryficowa Obviously fighting _back_ is appropriate.
@@cupcaketv5673 I live in Poland, in 2020 there was a campaign against LGBT+ people, many of them were victims of beatings, and that's why I can't look at this comment like Americans, I just can't...
Been watching your vids for a while, I really dig your art and webcomic stuff and all your commentaries on animation-related stuff. This one I really agree with. I absolutely believe straights are welcome at pride so long as they are participating for good reason and are not being awful. The more of them on our side, I feel, the better. I also really like how you brought up amab enbies, which I am. A relatively elder one at that, if 31 is considered that lol. I feel it's not talked about enough, but I'm glad you mentioned it. I sometimes feel that I get a bit of exclusion because I don't look/present "femme enough" or "trans enough", that I still come off as a "dude", etc. from some tiny parts of the community, and I feel that isn't right. Having to be a stereotype to be accepted, that sorta thing. So it was nice to hear all of that in this, in addition to all your careful breakdown of all the little nuances of this topic. Anyways, sorry if I waffled on, I was just happy to hear all of that in this vid. Cheers!
I'm very against scientific labels for a reason.
Instead of bringing people together, we're slowly tearing each other apart over something we can't control. Why can't we just all be together?
It depends, labeling someone can be a simple way to understand their situation but in general separation by labels is fucking stupid
Tumblr > Twitter
That's all I want to say!
Fr tho
Fr tho
The thing about straight people "not understanding" is that a large amount of them do! Plenty of people explored their sexuality in their teenage years and just came out of it cishet!
Fiona pollo!!!!!! Happy pride! 🏳️🌈
Respect and Tolerance.
I will admit, I don't really know many queer folks in my circle. Not helping since I'm a regular straight dude (Sorry if it comes off as offensive, but I'm not exactly a fan of the term "cishet" mostly since it sounds weird in my opinion) I mostly describe myself as an acquaintance towards the queer community, mostly since as I already said, I don't know many queer people in my area or friend circle plus I haven't attended any Pride events myself since I live in a small town. I am aware of prominent queer social media influencers and even a fan of a few, such as The Stupendium who is an enby and the team behind Overly Sarcastic Productions who are mostly comprised of asexuals. I don't hold any ill will towards the queer community and I do hope that you guys live your best lives without any ill will towards folks like myself.
Yew is the opposite of trans (And in Poland it's the name of a tree... I'm not kidding, it's seriously the name of a tree), so yes, everything sounds strange until we get used to it
Hey just found your channel. Its nice to find another Ace/Lesbian! Love the art!
Straights at pride are needed. Straights need to be able to show that the world isn't just Queers Vs Straights. Especially in this day and age where we are seemingly regressing back to the 60s. Like I've had a lot of cishet prejudice in my life but I don't associate all that hate to the entire group of people, at least mentally. Emotionally I know I also just to conclusions bc of those experiences, but I'm trying to overcome that atm. Anyways, removing straights at pride is just reinforcing that segregation mentality. Its antagonistic and will only reinforce those people that are trying to remove the LBGTQIA+ rights that was fought so hard for. What we need to do is push for assimilation that we all are humans. To just accept that there are people that are different and that's ok! We need to now push for the end of this "Us vs Them" mentality.
As a bisexual it doesn’t matter your orientation or gender you can celebrate who you are, that’s the whole point of pride is to be proud of who you are
There should NEVER be exclusions just for being something or another. It's so annoying for people to act like being queer (or in my case Ace) acting like we're some kind of clique. Just let people be who they are and judge people by their actions not their sexuality, gender or god forbid their race (its sad I even have to mention that last one)
This has been a thing that I’ve been dealing with for years, sadly. Literally 3/4 of my friend group are in “straight-looking” queer relationships, including myself. This includes a couple that’s a trans man and trans woman, one of whom is straight and the other bi, a trans man and fem-leaning ace enby, my polycule consisting a genderfluid pansexual (myself) who presents mostly masculine just due to what I can do with my physique, my nonbinary bisexual partner who leans feminine for the same reason, and their cishet boyfriend who is literally the only straight dude I know.
I've been reading some of the comments and all i have to say is YES, Straight/Cis people deserve to be at pride, aslong as they are respect+mindfull.
ALSO, some of y'all are still in the Ancient Times Mindset of "gender equals sexual/romantic attraction" and it's sad to see, especially as a Gay+Aro Cis Dude.
I've got a pan friend who doesn't like going to Pride events specifically because people will openly discriminate him for "being a cit-het invading their space". I do think that spaces like Pride need to exist for the LGBTQ+ communities, but I also think it's incredibly important to leave those comfort zones. Growing up as an ethnic minority in a melting pot, I basically have to leave my spaces on a daily basis. Retreating into social media wasn't really an option when I was younger.
I'm not saying that forcing people out of their communities and safe spaces will instantly make people stop being bigots. But it can help you navigate gray areas that diversity inevitably produces. Gatekeeping at a Pride event only serves to erect more barriers. Counterproductive, isn't it?
This is a fresh perspective that I’ve never heard before, and reminds me I have more to learn about my own people’s history. Thank you!
I'm a panromantic asexual who is in a straight relationship, I went to my first Pride event literally just a few days ago and everyone was so welcoming and accepting. I can't tell you how many people I saw sporting straight ally flags with booths set up selling pride stuff and those people were nothing but nice and respectful. Of course not everyone is going to be like that, but I see no issue with straight people being at Pride as long as people are respectful
Thank you!
My husband and I are wanting to participate in pride for the first time! I’ve also come to discover that I’m on the ace spectrum, and I’m pretty certain he is too.
0:15 - 0:23 amen sister. I’m too tired to get worked up about things. Being angry and picking fights is exhausting, even online.
I'm straight and I'd be down to go to pride! I unfortunately haven't been able to before, but I'd love to go to support my friends and the community as a whole!
Don't gatekeep an even that is supposed to be about inclusiveness. If a straight person is at pride, they could be a closeted person, a partner/friends of a queer person there to support them, questioning and exploring what pride is, intersex, or other factors. Share your experiences and show that this community is open to answering and willing to include those who are different than them (especially since there are so many people are willing to shut out people who are different).
Kool. No idea why this is in my feed when I don't care about these topics.
Because you watch the video and comment on it. Clearly the algorithm showed you the video did it's job right.
All I watch is b i d e o g a e m s
@@darkkirby714 you clicked on the video, probably watched at least some part of it and commented.
The algorithms job is to find videos that make you do exactly that.
If this is recommended to you and you simply ignore it, the algorithm will see "ah OK, they are not interested, let's try something different"
Yayy, I'm so glad my comment was appreciated, it was so cool to see it at 10:51 😭
I love the finished video sm, you never fail to make amazing content!!
I feel that if they’re allies and want the best for us, then let them cheer us on!!!
You said everything i could ever say on the subject.
On top of all that you've said, as someone who is bi and proud it would feel hypocritical of me in a way, as I could just as easily be one of those "bi women with a straight bf" if i wasn't dating another woman.
10:57
Oh hey! I'm in the video! XD
(even if it was 2 seconds I wanted to make that joke)
But man, I had no idea that pride started as a funeral march. Which gives me all the more reasons to continue to show all the support as I can for this community as an ally
I guess you learn something new every day because no one told me this until now, so awesome work on the video and the art, very insightful as per usual and I always look forward to what comes next
✌🏻😌
It's always seemed counter-productive to me to exclude people from an event designed to promote inclusiveness, acceptance and a desire to be treated as equal just because they belong to a particular group, the precise thing you're fighting against. I get that certain things should be limited to only those that are immediately affected because they have the understanding and sensitivity required to speak with authority but there always needs to be an opportunity for people to learn and realise that at the end of the day everyone is just a human trying to live their life.
People are always striving for LBGTQ+ acceptance in a straight-dominated society, so why not allow them to come together? You can’t build one thing up by tearing down another
The mellowing is probably a good thing. Even if you continue pursuing justice, I feel like allowing yourself to get angry gives the other side a win somehow - like their goal is to get you off balance, ya know?
I do support people who are under those signs. I’m glad to be an ally!
14:20 You hit on something that I've seen a lot - that there are a lot of people who seem to think that the best way to feel empowered is to treat others in the same way that they were treated by someone with power over them. I personally don't understand it, and in places like the queer community, it just actively makes any efforts to unite for a common cause worse.
It amazes me how people try to gatekeep who bi people bring to pride when the "mother of pride" was a bi woman (Brenda Howard) who was married to a man...
What are they gonna do, stop me on the street and force me to show them my grindr account? It's difficult in my city to find an 18-24 year old woman who ISN'T bi or gay.
It's mainstream now (much to the chagrin of queer people who had hard lives growing up because of their sexuality and sometiens have a stolen valor vibe towards the kids), so as this increases in acceptance, i cant help but wonder if this very topic is a sign that times have changed.
I brought my father (a straight guy) with me to my first pride event and we both had fun so I say sure as long as it's clear they're there to have fun and support us lol
What you said about men struck a core with me because i struggled with internalized transphobia and homophobia because when was young i keep hearing about how men are the worst of the worst and how they should all perish (trust me it was wild) and in my mind i was trying to deny myself cause admitting me being a man AND is attracted to men makes me the worst person possible.
as of now I've come in term with it and am very happy with my beloved boyfriend, i really just wish they're not the punching bag of the queer community as it could be a bad influence to those who are questioning themselves (but this is just imo !)
also yes, straight people are welcome in pride ! allies are always welcomed to join
10:50 no way that's me
I don’t care what people do but the funniest analogy came to mind. It’s like a child’s soccer game, friends and family are fine, but it’s weird to show up to a random child’s soccer game