Moving through the Powerlessness that is hiding underneath Chronic Anger -Somatic Experiencing
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Learn how to access the feeling of powerlessness/helplessness that anger is often protecting. When it feels like anger is stuck, it's often protecting us from feeling a vulnerable emotion that's hidden underneath (hidden even from ourselves). When we release the feeling underneath, both feelings can clear since the anger no longer has anything to defend.
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*These videos are for informational purposes only and are not medical advice or a substitute for psychotherapy. If you have a trauma history or medical history, please see your healthcare provider, doctor, psychiatrist or psychotherapist near you to help you resolve it safely under guidance.
*Nina Goradia is a coach trained in a variety of modalities. She has gone through the 3 year SEP certification program and offers Somatic Experiencing coaching sessions with the option of adding Non-Dual Awareness & Self-Inquiry. *Coaching is neither psychotherapy nor medical advice and it does not treat mental or health disorders. If you choose to work with Nina and a mental or health disorder is suspected, you will be referred to an appropriate professional.
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Good heavens, Nina. You are a super genius. This was very powerful information and while this type of processing doesn’t feel good at all, your words helped me uncover why I’ve been as my family has said, “angry since I was 13”. Powerlessness and emotional neglect are the strongest forces I’ve experienced and your knowledge helped me understand that I’m not just an “angry jerk”. Thank you, happy holidays!!
I'm so glad this was helpful! I hope you are able to unravel this so you can have peace and glad you are not blaming or labeling yourself. Happy holidays! 🙂🙏🏼
This is unbelievably valuable to me. I'm going to have a go at allowing the anger to be present instead of wrestling with it (and ALWAYS losing).
I'm glad it was helpful! Good luck with this 🙏🏼
Thank you,Nina. It's very helpful ❤
You're welcome! I'm glad it was helpful 🙏🏼😊
Thank you for breaking this down!
Thanks for watching 🙂❤
I’ve been so angry since I started feeling childhood boundary injuries. I’m really good with anger, but this anger was concerning me. Your video helped me remember what was under that anger and release the helplessness I felt, and the anger feels like it has evaporated. Thank you for this video 🙏🏼
I am so happy to hear this helped you! 🙏🏼🌞
Hello Nina, Thanks again for the video!
This seems to be the more difficult part......I feel so accustomed to not acknowledging this aspect of myself.
Question: Are you saying "I LOST?" as in surrender?
For some reason, I can't quite hear that word.....
Sure Steve! Yes, the words are "I lost." Often, when we feel powerless and don't have enough capacity to feel such a large emotion in that moment, our ego will try to protect us from that huge feeling by compensating with anger.
This anger gives us a false sense of power to help us avoid the feeling of powerlessness, but the powerlessness feeling is still there underneath. As long as it is hiding there, the anger compensation will continue.
So we try to get under it by consciously allowing ourselves to feel powerless and inviting that into our awareness. We're telling it that it's allowed to be there, so then no defense mechanism against it is needed (consciously).
And yes, as in surrender to how we actually felt about the situation...the vulnerable emotion we truly felt prior to the defensive compensation. It's not necessarily surrender to staying in the situation in real life, but surrendering to how we felt about it. Usually this is how a young child would feel...a vulnerable "ouch, that really hurt"....before we developed the ego protection.
We want to welcome this original primary feeling to reintegrate it back into our whole selves so that there isn't any war within us by resisting it. Hope this helps!! Good luck trying it out :)
@@Nina.Goradia
Thanks Nina! for taking the time to elaborate.
Surrendering to your own true feeling about something... That's great!
I really appreciate the work you're doing and appreciate you sharing your insights.
Thank you Nina! I have a question. So when we go back in time, how do we not become the child again that was flooded with unbearable fear and retraumatize ourselves? Because it sounds like we need to go back and re-experience the horror all over again. Can you tell me more about this? Thank you.
@@marjanvanoosterhout4325Hi! It's important to work a professional when there are severe traumas because trauma happens when we don't have enough resources like knowledge of what to do, felt sense of safety, support and time to process through all the stimulation.
So when we revisit a trauma, we need to come with more resources than when we left or we get sucked back into what is called the trauma vortex. We need to build capacity and skills (called the counter vortex) plus having another person there if possible before going back to the trauma so we can maintain the presence of our adult selves to hold space for the child's emotions.
Once we revisit the felt experience, we only work on it small portions at a time and then take breaks to integrate that part. We don't want to do it all at once or it can be retraumatizing. This is why it's important to do this with someone if you can, but you can start with the Physical Resourcing video on this channel. Beat wishes 🙏🏼
Needed all of this. Was able to feel the underlying feelings throughout the video.. thank you 🙏🏽
Oh, I'm very glad to hear that! You are most welcome 🙂🙏🏼
Don't forget, there is healthy anger. If someone trespass against your personal bodily integrity, anger is healthy. If someone touches your body against your will, you have the right to fight and kill if necessary.
This video is about chronic anger that is stuck due to a vulnerable emotion underneath, but acute anger as a real time instinct can be valuable to help us determine when our boundaries are being violated, if there is a threat, helps us perceive our values, and can help us with intuition as well. Thanks for bringing up this difference.
Hi Nina, something happened that showed me almost without a shadow of a doubt that I'm a covert narcissist. I thought I was the victim, but I was the problem in my family and I think I caused too much havoc. I didn't see my family for who they are. I caused trauma bonds. I hurt them. I don't know where to go from here. I'm experiencing chronic feelings of anger. What would you suggest I do? Is there any hope for me and for my relationship with my family? Or should I just leave them and free them of me? I really thought I was harmless. I can see how harmful I was now and how harmful and controlling I can be. I hate to be this way. I hate to know I caused them so much suffering and never took actual responsibility. I can't see any hope for me.
Thanks for sharing. I think you would need to work with a practitioner in this circumstance. Something like this is hard to work on alone. You are welcome to work with me or someone else near you, but these things are hard to address online without knowing you and the situation better the way we could in a session.
Taking responsibility for feeling through emotions is part of the work here. Also, just use the label loosely as a pointer for what to do to heal. Definitely take responsibility for healing it, but also know it doesn't define you permanently or on an absolute level.
@@Nina.Goradia thanks Nina, I would like to work with you, how do I do that?
@@Jerry_064 It would be great to work with you. To get started, just fill out the forms at my website. I'll try to post it in the next comment, but sometimes RUclips doesn't let comments go through with web addresses. In case this happens, my website can be found in the description box of the video.
@@Jerry_064 Forms can be filled out at thesomaticpt.com/forms
Thank you. Although a huge part of me is afraid to get stuck in powerlessness, this has been tremendously cathartic and I think helpful. Is it normal to free up energy as result to engage the actual situation after this?
If you're afraid of getting stuck in it, you might sense there is a mountain of it underneath. In that case, you might want to work with someone to be guided through it safely: working on small parts of it at a time (titration) and with breaks in between (to integrate it).
Yes, 100%. We free up energy that might otherwise be paralyzing us, so that we can also practically act in the situation.
Thank you so much 🙏🏼
You’re so welcome 😊
@@Nina.Goradia Do you have a video for how to come out of the collapse state?
@@sharonashley1008 I mention it briefly in this one: ruclips.net/video/oHDlkWhGLNc/видео.html