After video I realized why people tend to think I’m a pleaser: I smile way too much, I portray myself warmer than I actually am. I’m colder and tried to be closer. Too closer to the point I can feel small disrespectful details. Thank you so much! Really interesting, She is brilliant indeed and so cool the interviewer
Yaa it's amazing tbf i love my exclamation marks i see the first 3 comments have them and love reading them! Aha can't beat excitement 😜 and emojis very expressive ofc!! I love before vanessa said we love to be found like some gaze thing and the ear tilt so guuuud 🥰🫰🏼
@@marcusherts9345 You are right! no bad intention about "pretending" but I did actually and people are not stupid. I´m doing much better now. Thank you for your observation, I didn´t think about that... Cheers!
@@Poetry4Peace You see? When I posted my experience before I wrote I´ve had already the intention of not adding exclamation marks! In other context before video, at last 3 or 4 will be in the same number of lines... I got you! 😅
I think it's important to be aware of neurodivergences with regard to gestures, especially physical gestures and facial expressions. There are a lot of us, especially women, who are on the autism spectrum and aren't diagnosed or may not even be aware of it. I make weird faces when I'm listening or concentrating. It's a sensory processing thing where there's too much information (visual, auditory, physical) that I need to stare in a neutral direction to concentrate on the words being said. My therapist pointed out to me that I looked like I was rolling my eyes. I had no idea I was doing that! We tried to work on eye contact, smiling and nodding while listening, but it was extremely hard to hear and understand the words while doing that. I can dial up my warmth points intentionally, but it comes at the cost of listening as well as being able to respond in an engaging way. It takes all my energy and attention to worry about what my face is doing, which is why "masking" is so exhausting. I definitely fall in that category of the "intimidating" person who is all competence and no warmth. But as many books as I've read about body language, human nature, and charisma, actually putting it into practice in a face-to-face conversation, in the moment, is the equivalent to trying to do math while someone is saying random numbers to you.
@@catherineshaklee76 yh i defo wehn really passionate about something add them although once at work some guy was like dont add ! and i thought it made it less boring and i was rightt he was just high competent IG ahah! i really can add loads and emojis too then delete xD
So funny! I tend to tilt my head in social non work related profile pictures but not on LinkedIn. She and her research are truly amazing! She makes the possibility of a level playing field for introverts.
That reminds me of a Mae West movie. Mae West was in court. The judge asks her is she is showing contempt of court. She says, “No, your honor, I’m trying very hard not to show my contempt.”
Such a great interview! I learned a lot! The only thing I disagree with is the "hetro-male holding a cat" in dating profiles. I LOVE a man with a cat, and I find it very appealing and charming. Perhaps I'm different, but to me it says that they are kind and not "over-ego'd."
I got you: love cats and if a hell of a guy pets a cat it’s a win-win 😂 but I understand the unconscious psychology. The moment I wrote this I realize that only what a “hell of a guy” is for me (masculine) can pet a cat without thinking he is cute. If I’m looking a potencial partner, to be “cute” as first impression is not what I’m looking for I pray daily for people who don’t love cats. If they pray enough, maybe can get it 🤣🤣🤣
Well, her opinions are based on research. There are always exceptions since we need to be marginally divergent as a consequence of a dynamic environment, so she's looking at general probability based on an overall population, whereas you're using your personal conjecture. In a way you're both right, you're just not discussing the same thing. That's just the awkwardness of language.
Adding to her comment that background adds to the brains perception of a person, the male host’s background makes me feel like he is a relaxed spiritually open man due to the blue and brown tones that remind me of the ocean.
Thank You Sean Kim for the great session. Vanessa your work has greatly helped me over the years improve in the area of body language. I'm very grateful!
I loved the questions! I noticed she didn’t answer why she wore red or what data she thought was right but proved opposite. she mentioned other people’s but not hers. So I found that interesting. Glad she didn’t over use her hand gestures like she does in her other videos in which I find to be distracting. In the beginning of this interview, I was distracted by her hand gestures and couldn’t read the CC for a bit (and I’m Deaf, so she might as well be signing. Lol) Great interview, it was warm, competence and entertaining.
This is so interesting! Not trying to be negative but i couldn’t help but think of the danger of this information if it falls in the hands of the wrong people. People learning how to encode will make it much easier to manipulate and be manipulated.
She talked about this in one of her RUclips videos I think with Lewis Howes, and as I understood it also showed concern over this possibility. Fortunately (Learned this from Vanessa) there are some cues which are not controllable and are unconscious and occur even when the baseline personality is that of a manipulator and toxic individual. We will need to be pros at identifying those.
If your a super good looking young female in the workplace you don't have to worry about any of this. Men will always talk to you and try so hard to win your respect. Seen it time and time again! Hell you don't even have to be warm.
I feel hight competent will care less about mirroring.. Someone more warm or dually aware will be more likely to mirroe the tone. Thank you for the content, I subsribed just now 🇦🇺🌻😀
Count your emails text conversations of warm and competence warm word’s emoji’s lol 😆!!! Competence getting things done or short answer no warmth trust Mirror five! To ur 2 😊🔥 I use emoji’s lol Highly charismatic people know how to blend warmth and competence in a conversation NOTE 📝 TAKING Sry NOT sry 😂
Anyone who actively wants to manipulate others, to make them do anything is seriously heading down the road of being a narcissistic sociopath, wake up to your behaviour, why do you need to get someone to do as you want, are people here to please you as you wish? Nutcase t shirts should be given out to all of you wanting to do this on purpose, and to coach people into becoming self proclaimed narc's
Some people are socially awkward and not aware of how they are coming across. If you can change a few simple things and improve your social interactions then you can open up more opportunities in life. It's not the same thing as manipulating people for the purpose of exploiting them.
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After video I realized why people tend to think I’m a pleaser: I smile way too much, I portray myself warmer than I actually am. I’m colder and tried to be closer. Too closer to the point I can feel small disrespectful details. Thank you so much! Really interesting, She is brilliant indeed and so cool the interviewer
Yaa it's amazing tbf i love my exclamation marks i see the first 3 comments have them and love reading them! Aha can't beat excitement 😜 and emojis very expressive ofc!! I love before vanessa said we love to be found like some gaze thing and the ear tilt so guuuud 🥰🫰🏼
You can smile as much as you like...as long as it’s a genuine smile😊
Most people can tell a fake smile..
@@marcusherts9345 You are right! no bad intention about "pretending" but I did actually and people are not stupid. I´m doing much better now. Thank you for your observation, I didn´t think about that... Cheers!
@@Poetry4Peace You see? When I posted my experience before I wrote I´ve had already the intention of not adding exclamation marks! In other context before video, at last 3 or 4 will be in the same number of lines... I got you! 😅
@@pichichipichi Ahaha also realized ur name has! XD
Vanessa Is someone that always has something to teach! Amazing! Thank you
I think it's important to be aware of neurodivergences with regard to gestures, especially physical gestures and facial expressions. There are a lot of us, especially women, who are on the autism spectrum and aren't diagnosed or may not even be aware of it.
I make weird faces when I'm listening or concentrating. It's a sensory processing thing where there's too much information (visual, auditory, physical) that I need to stare in a neutral direction to concentrate on the words being said. My therapist pointed out to me that I looked like I was rolling my eyes. I had no idea I was doing that! We tried to work on eye contact, smiling and nodding while listening, but it was extremely hard to hear and understand the words while doing that.
I can dial up my warmth points intentionally, but it comes at the cost of listening as well as being able to respond in an engaging way. It takes all my energy and attention to worry about what my face is doing, which is why "masking" is so exhausting.
I definitely fall in that category of the "intimidating" person who is all competence and no warmth. But as many books as I've read about body language, human nature, and charisma, actually putting it into practice in a face-to-face conversation, in the moment, is the equivalent to trying to do math while someone is saying random numbers to you.
"Confidence is a byproduct of control" ! Interesting !
So open to interpretation when not in context of the subject..
Wow! So insightful Vanessa! I loved the point about couples, contempt, and divorce and how to address it.
I LOVED this interview! I recently bought her book, and I am really enjoying it!!! Thank you!
Love exclamations 😉❗
@@Poetry4Peace Me too❣️😂
@@catherineshaklee76 yh i defo wehn really passionate about something add them although once at work some guy was like dont add ! and i thought it made it less boring and i was rightt he was just high competent IG ahah! i really can add loads and emojis too then delete xD
Thank you for the support and I'm glad to know you are enjoying it! 🤗
So funny! I tend to tilt my head in social non work related profile pictures but not on LinkedIn. She and her research are truly amazing! She makes the possibility of a level playing field for introverts.
That reminds me of a Mae West movie. Mae West was in court. The judge asks her is she is showing contempt of court. She says, “No, your honor, I’m trying very hard not to show my contempt.”
Such a great interview! I learned a lot! The only thing I disagree with is the "hetro-male holding a cat" in dating profiles. I LOVE a man with a cat, and I find it very appealing and charming. Perhaps I'm different, but to me it says that they are kind and not "over-ego'd."
I got you: love cats and if a hell of a guy pets a cat it’s a win-win 😂 but I understand the unconscious psychology. The moment I wrote this I realize that only what a “hell of a guy” is for me (masculine) can pet a cat without thinking he is cute. If I’m looking a potencial partner, to be “cute” as first impression is not what I’m looking for
I pray daily for people who don’t love cats. If they pray enough, maybe can get it 🤣🤣🤣
@@pichichipichi looo
Ch
A guy holding a cat is an automatic yes for me
Well, her opinions are based on research. There are always exceptions since we need to be marginally divergent as a consequence of a dynamic environment, so she's looking at general probability based on an overall population, whereas you're using your personal conjecture.
In a way you're both right, you're just not discussing the same thing. That's just the awkwardness of language.
Oh, I didn’t know about the 18 inch optimal space in video. That is helpful. Thank you, Vanessa and also the interviewer for the great questions!
Glad to know you enjoyed the video! Thank you for watching!
This lady is a genius
Adding to her comment that background adds to the brains perception of a person, the male host’s background makes me feel like he is a relaxed spiritually open man due to the blue and brown tones that remind me of the ocean.
Thank You Sean Kim for the great session.
Vanessa your work has greatly helped me over the years improve in the area of body language. I'm very grateful!
Awesome insights and valuable lessons. Thank you very much for this video. 😁
I like your voice when it's soft and smooth, not sharp and scratchy
Wishing you could’ve got to the point a lot sooner or change the title of this. I can’t wait that long.
I bought the book 'Captivated'. Interesting.. great insight especially for interviews & presentations.
Thank you for the support! And I'm glad you found it interesting!
Amazing guest & wonderful/insightful interview questions! Thank you :)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the video!
her long beautiful hair is a massive cue. ❤
I love this. Gonna buy the book 📕 Can’t wait!
Thank you so much! I hope you love Cues!
I loved the questions! I noticed she didn’t answer why she wore red or what data she thought was right but proved opposite. she mentioned other people’s but not hers. So I found that interesting. Glad she didn’t over use her hand gestures like she does in her other videos in which I find to be distracting. In the beginning of this interview, I was distracted by her hand gestures and couldn’t read the CC for a bit (and I’m Deaf, so she might as well be signing. Lol) Great interview, it was warm, competence and entertaining.
Red is a power color. It is grounding-makes one feels in control.
Amazing knowledge. Super useful.
Glad it was helpful! Would love it if you could leave a rating on the pod: open.spotify.com/show/4M9IlPFWzCaTv60kvCMlVS
I love this!
Thanks for the advice keep up the great work ❤
Where did you get that world map? I'm a traveler and it really speaks to me. I love It!
I love the?of self analysis
This is so good😊 how come there are no comments
Lmao true story
Hi ikr
Great interview
Would you consider warmth to be the feminine side and the competence the masculine ?
I love you videos!! I am studying ethnic studies so I’m naturally curious. What is your ethnicity? I’m guessing Korean since Kim. Thanks! :)
I don't know why but I can't listen to Vanessa for more than 10 minutes, something about her voice and gestures exhaust me perhaps?
I experience written exclamation marks as negative- like I’m being yelled at. Most definitely, at three exclamation marks, you’ve lost me.
I think it's all in the construct ie I can't wait to go skiing with you tomorrow!!!
I thought yelling was writing in caps?
Sick one 🥰 it
Keep up the good work brother 🤝🏻
This is awesome!
This is so interesting! Not trying to be negative but i couldn’t help but think of the danger of this information if it falls in the hands of the wrong people. People learning how to encode will make it much easier to manipulate and be manipulated.
She talked about this in one of her RUclips videos I think with Lewis Howes, and as I understood it also showed concern over this possibility. Fortunately (Learned this from Vanessa) there are some cues which are not controllable and are unconscious and occur even when the baseline personality is that of a manipulator and toxic individual. We will need to be pros at identifying those.
Wow just wow
Gotta get parallel if you wanna get horizontal!
what are competent cues?
If your a super good looking young female in the workplace you don't have to worry about any of this. Men will always talk to you and try so hard to win your respect. Seen it time and time again! Hell you don't even have to be warm.
Can i get sum up?
Would someone please bless me with some examples of, "competent", words or phrases?
I have a feeling I will soon be known as Mr Hands🙌😁
I feel hight competent will care less about mirroring.. Someone more warm or dually aware will be more likely to mirroe the tone. Thank you for the content, I subsribed just now 🇦🇺🌻😀
welcome!
7:25 32:00 45:00
Why is this whole video about sending emails?!
❤
I despise emoji use and criticize their use. Using them in any form of business communication is completely unacceptable.
Despise?
Count your emails text conversations of warm and competence
warm word’s emoji’s lol 😆!!! Competence getting things done or short answer no warmth trust Mirror five! To ur 2 😊🔥
I use emoji’s lol
Highly charismatic people know how to blend warmth and competence in a conversation
NOTE 📝 TAKING Sry NOT sry 😂
Sean, you're a good interviewer but you need to stop saying "like" and "right" and "you know"
i know right
Anyone who actively wants to manipulate others, to make them do anything is seriously heading down the road of being a narcissistic sociopath, wake up to your behaviour, why do you need to get someone to do as you want, are people here to please you as you wish? Nutcase t shirts should be given out to all of you wanting to do this on purpose, and to coach people into becoming self proclaimed narc's
Some people are socially awkward and not aware of how they are coming across. If you can change a few simple things and improve your social interactions then you can open up more opportunities in life. It's not the same thing as manipulating people for the purpose of exploiting them.
Huge scammer