Love Is Blind - Confronting Matthew - Season 6 #98 - Therapist Reacts
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 20 апр 2024
- Dr. Kirk Honda reacts to Love Is Blind Season 6. Includes clips from Love Is Blind (Netflix), The Reunion.
Become a member: / @psychologyinseattle
Become a patron: / psychologyinseattle
Email: www.psychologyinseattle.com/c...
Website: www.psychologyinseattle.com
Merch: teespring.com/stores/psycholo...
Cameo: www.cameo.com/kirkhonda
Instagram: / psychologyinseattle
Facebook Official Page: / psychologyinseattle
TikTok: / kirk.honda
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
Megan Fox was asked about what Chelsea said, she said" I can see it and I hope people are not bullying her for saying so". What a girl's girl 🌷🌷Respect.
I saw that too, she even mentioned how the media stole the light from her eyes and she hopes that doesn’t happen to Chelsea 🥹🥲
@@Carmendot2 Yes, I read that in her response, it's so sad. As an older person, it makes me realize how blessed the famous were before all the mass media and daily exposure. They could actually experience privacy, some normalcy without constant judgement.
I mean I can see it too 🤷🏻♀️
And Chelsea’s voice sounds similar to Megan’s imo
When Dr. Kirk cringed at the news of AD dating Matthew again, I felt that deep in my soul 😅
Yes, his pain is so real 🙈
So much.
19:40 Dr. Honda’s looking like a disappointed dad at AD’s decision making 😂
dr honda's reaction to AD/matthew was worth the wait.
As a night owl myself, I appreciate you for giving me permission to be up late with no judgement 🙏🏻😅
I was diagnosed with AuDHD as an adult and I want to say that so much of how society perceives and categorizes a person as autistic has nothing to do with the internal experience of an autistic person and everything to do with how we are perceived socially.
I wish we talked about other symptoms of autism that I rarely see discussed. I have audio processing issues for example, issues with proprioception (i am clumsy and bump into things), I perceive pain differently (either too much or not at all). It is difficult for me to understand when I am hungry, or need to go to the bathroom and have had accidentsm, executive dysfunction makes it difficult to maintain hygiene. When I get overstimulated and have a meltdown, I am at danger of injuring myself. I am always stimming, in either subtle or obvious ways.
I am also a 34 PhD in social sciences and have presented in international conferences. When masking I am usually perceived as very pleasant, polite, and kind. It took so long to get a diagnosis because I'm not a loner or I don't communicate awkwardly (for short periods of time anyway).
I feel like the popular opinion is that autism is a social disability, when at least for me the reality is that it is all the other problems with my nervous system that make socializing difficult.
Love all of this! ☝🏽👍🏽
Chelsea has said in multiple interviews that she was playing coy by saying Machine Gun Kelly's wife. Podcast host were asking her about it and implying that it's kinda misogynistic to call her machine gun Kelly's wife when she has her own career, and Chelsea said she was trying to down play it.
I'm surprised Dr Honda doesn't think this was intentional.. Obviously not nefarious or something but her goal at that point was to win him over from the love triangle. Mentioning potentially looking like Megan Fox - someone EVERYONE knows and many men's fantasy to a point where it's a meme - is absolutely a move to "win", especially when the person isn't going to see you until you're locked in with eachother. If I wanted to have a leg up on another woman in the situation, my first thought would be to hint that I looked like a supermodel. I wouldn't do that, but it's pretty obvious to me but maybe that's just me.
It was very obvious, maybe not planned beforehand or anything but that is something a lot of females do. And sometimes they try to do it discretely as to make it no big deal and casual. Just slipping it in and trying to make it a no big deal comparing to a person a lot of guys find hot. So Im not a huge fan of his judgement of people thinking this.
Im not thinking this was a planned scheme from her side but I think she was trying to sound casual with it.
I don’t think it was planned. I’m sure she didn’t wake up that day and was going to intentionally mention her lookalike. I think she saw the opportunity and she went for it in the moment. She definitely did down play knowing who Megan Fox was. That, she intentionally did.
Dr Honda was giving her the benefit of the doubt, which surprised me, given how well aware he is about her manipulative tendencies. It was a cringe moment for me when he said he was confident that she didn’t say it intentionally.
She also injected the idea of “looking like a celebrity” to Jimmy by specifically asking him whether anyone has ever said that he looked like a celebrity- I think he said “yes”- but she was not even interested in his answer and did not ask “who” he looked like, but went straight into her Megan Fox story. It was all planned. I think she tried to lead Jimmy into him asking her if she looked like a celebrity and when he didn’t take the bait and reciprocate she had to put it out there..
I'm diagnosed Autistic and you described the sensory experience so well. Driving is a nightmare because I "see" everything. I work from home because I can't handle not being able to filter sensory input from the office. I wish people would see beyond the quirky aspect of it.
I absolutely LOVED Dr Hondas reaction when Vanessa suggested Izzy and Micah were together before they announced they’re going to be on the perfect match 😂
Bahaha same, it was perfect
AD ignores red flags. So she either didn’t see anything or she couldn’t recognize red flags when presented. The fact she went two more dates with Matthew makes me think she has a blind spot for issues.
Yea that’s completely mind boggling that she continued to date that lying weirdo. She definitely has horrible tastes in men and a broken picker
I think she sees the red flags, but goes for it anyway
@@Carmendot2 yeah i’m thinking the psychology there is thinking that if somebody is so toxic with so many red flags ends up choosing you and claiming to change for you that maybe it’s the ultimate win. Kind of like a “bad boy that’s only good to me” mentality
Nah, the red flags are her comfort zone
@@charlize9341 Yeah. She doesn't recognize them.
LOL the utter disappointment at @0:16:30 ...like when your friend tells you she texted her ex and you you think its just for closure but then @0:16:30 🤣🤣🤣
To be very serious here for a second, I truly worry AD's codependency is at the level that it could likely lead to her being in grave physical danger because she does not leave when a man presents signs of being a predator. Please, please, please, I beg of you AD, don't date for a while and go to therapy, I sincerely worry about your safety.
P.S.-Not trying to victim blame. If a predator does do something awful, it's the predator's fault, period. Just saying some people are more at risk than others
Plenty of men are predatory. I really don't think that unequivocally means they're also physically abusive. Especially not severely.
@@noelleirina5628You never know. People snap all the time.
Yes, I think her going on dates with Mathew is really concerning. She said she did therapy before the show, but it’s clear to me that she needs so much more. Perhaps a trauma therapist, EMDR, I dunno. But her willingness to meet up with people who already proved are not trustworthy, is not going to serve her well.
Matt doesn’t give off predator vibes, it’s more like con artist or catfish vibes.
Therapy won’t always fix not a magic cure and people want and need love she doesn’t have to stop dating she could be in therapy until 50 and still be like this….. so she should never date?
Recently finding out I’m Audhd (level one autistic/low support needs/high functioning/formerly known as Asperger’s with adhd) has COMPLETELY changed/saved my life. The new understanding of it, makes so much sense. I’m 40 and only found out last year. As a woman, from most likely 4 grandparents who could have been autistic, my understanding of how we look at others and the world has completely changed.
same
Greetings fellow AuDHDer! I was diagnosed this year at the age of 41.
Come on, Dr. Honda, Chelsea knows Meghan Fox's name. When passengers on her flights bring up her celeb look alike they aren't saying "you look like MGK's girlfriend or wife". First of all, people over 30 haven't heard of MGK, I've heard of "Machine Gun Kelly", but if someone said "MGK" I'd be like, who? Meghan Fox is more famous on her own. Maybe it wasn't some evil plan on Chelsea's part to get picked over Jess, maybe it was just an offhanded comment that got blown up because of Jimmy repeatedly mentioning how disappointed he was as a result, but you have to admit she was being intentionally coy about it. People tell me I look like Taylor Swift, I'm not going to answer the celeb look alike question by beating around the bush and saying "Travis Kelce's wife" when I know damn well what Taylor's name is and that she isn't married.
She has already said in interviews that she knew and was intentionally playing coy
Chelsea definitely knew Meghan’s name - not sure why Dr. Honda is acting like it’s awful to suggest that. It’s the truth lol
As a lifelong banker/advisor let me add my two cents. He’s a financial advisor and they script what they say for a living. And he definitely fits that profile given he had prepared questions at the top of the show.
He probably scripted (or at least went over in his mind many times) the right words to say AD. So when he felt positive towards the other girl, he simply used his prepared script.
Obviously he didn’t think through that they would talk. I think he was an odd duck and he didn’t seem genuine at all. But I think repeating essentially the same thing is less of a big deal then it was made to be.
I have been in sales my whole life, which is practicing scripts until you are dreaming about them. It does not bleed into my personal life nor does it for any of my friends or colleagues.
@@sherriromas5871 I think Dr. Honda went into great detail about Matthew which could explain in detail why what happened happened while being generous. He’s also has some social awkwardness so it could be a trait he has learned to lean into.
And by the way, it was basically leaning towards a public proposal. It would not be unheard of to think in great detail what one would say in that scenario.
Oh wow!!! This comment was very insightful, thank you @ShellyManne1
@@mermaidguitarist thank you! I can’t help but apply those skills I use at work to my personal life. And I’m a natural born introvert who ended up in an extroverts job so yes I use those tools in my personal life. Perhaps he’s like me in that way and he heavily leans into those skills away from work.
15:40 “what?!” I feel you in this moment lol
I wouldn't be surprised if AD going out with Matthew was motivated, in part, by the knowledge it would tick Clay off. Which judging by his facial expression it did. Remember Clay had a strong reaction to AD dating Matthew in the pods.
Oh, AD, AD, AD…🤦🏻♀️😖💔
Yup! Honda forgets people are petty.
About the MGK comment: Chelsea panicked… she knew what Jessica looks like and thought, she’d never stand a chance against that woman… that’s why she played unfair. And I’m sure her mind was racing and she thought, Jessica would give Jimmy a hint about her looks as well (as some kind of justification)… not bashing Chelsea because of it, because she obviously got issues to deal with.
💯 Agreed!!
Matthew shouldn’t have dipped out on the reunion. He was probably trying to avoid the backlash/confrontation, but with Jeramey and Trevor there I don’t think he would’ve gotten much heat.
I doubt that very much. Mattew is not as bad as Jeremy or Trevor the only bad thing he did was saying the same things to Amber and AD. Btw it came out that Amber was in a serious relationship the whole time and only went on the show for fun
@Freee479 wow the only thing that came out was her ex tried claiming her and bullying Clay. Not her "being in a serious relationship the entire time"
@@smitty5641 I was referring to the ‘white’ amber being in a relationship before the show not AD. Please learn how to read
“Muggs” in AAVE is a way of not cussing but saying these mf’ers.
They are being sued for the lack of food they were given in earlier seasons and how production handled some concerns by former contestants and two contestants happened to say they love the food and production and they also happened to feel that was worth including in the final hour and a half edit that was from a four hour long reunion.
Yeah, I really did not like the very ending of the reunion. Just sooo scripted and just not needed.
Highly Sensitive Person IS increasingly considered autism - Elaine Aron invented the concept while observing her grandson, and he was later diagnosed as Autistic by an impartial (non-family member) psychologist. HSP can be considered a phenotype of autism, but the "giftedness" gets all the focus and obscures the rest, which can present subtly. The DSM criteria for autism was composed by studying little boys, this phenotype does not fit everyone with autism, it can look many ways like being constructed as HSP. For women, nonbinary folks and adults who are late diagnosed (like myself) it does not necessarily present textbook. I had to go to a highly specialized psychologist that runs an autism research lab for an accurate diagnosis for this reason. It would be really interesting if Dr. Honda were to look deeply into the history of the construct of HSP and give a dedicated video opinion.
Yes! 👏
I was WAITING for Dr. Kirk’s shock when he hears AD went on a few date with Matthew 😂😂😂
The person who coined the term 'HSP' or Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron, used it to describe her grand-nephews who later went on to be diagnosed autistic. I learned this after I read her book "The Highly Sensitive Child" cover to cover in a time of immense parental desperation and began referring to my son as Highly Sensitive. One year later he was diagnosed as Autistic, Level 2. Aron has made attempts to distinguish between HSP traits and autism but her understanding of autism does not reach beyond outdated, incomplete, and stereotypical views of autism.
I agree. I think HSP is most likely sub-clinical autism
That is so interesting and good to know, thanks for sharing! I’m reading The Highly Sensitive Child right now, wondering if some of it applies to my own son, so I’ll keep that context in mind.
Dr. Kirk your reactions are HILARIOUS!! 😂
15:20 Dr. Honda, I cannot overstate how much I’ve been looking forward to your reaction to this moment‼️
I get what Micah means, people who see someone so pretty or stunning always think they’re a mean person. I think it’s not really a true belief, but more of an insecurity coming out against the pretty person!
It's painful for me to watch Dr. Honda dance around the elephant in the room with this analysis of Matthew: misogyny!! All people, including healthy people, can turn up or turn down our ability to empathize with some people instead of others. If you subscribe to sexism as a man, it involves turning DOWN your ability to empathize with women. And with really severe sexism, like misogyny, men can dehumanize women to the extent that they become animals to be toyed with, 'conquered', won and collected like Pokemon cards. So if Matthew just completely dehumanized women, he could think it's entirely ok to feed them all canned lines to 'win' as many of them as possible, and thereby 'win' this show. SO many men learn to adopt these views (while to a lesser extent) towards women. It may not be a mental or personality disorder, traumas, psychopathy or anything clinical with Matthew. I just see it as SO likely it's just good old fashioned misogyny.
I definitely agree that misogyny is a major factor here. Hard to tell what's chicken or egg with personality and larger social constructs but he absolutely reads like a kind of man I've known (condescending, controlling, aloof).
THIS!! 🎯🎯🎯
Well said!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
The one thing that especially concerns me about this season particularly is Jeramey saying that he was recruited for this season without applying which could give a sense at what type of people they wanted to have a certain percentage of on the show. While the odds are low that a random person would be so far from the mean, if the show is looking specifically for a few people that are far from the mean to increase the chances of drama, then it's no longer a random sample that we're working with. Only Netflix knows how they are recruiting for this show, but something tells me that they don't want 30 mentally and physically healthy people who are all unlikely to cause drama and all just want to get married.
My mom used to say "goodnight, sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite" every night before bed and it was just nostalgic and cozy hearing Dr Honda say it. I need to clip it and play it before bed every night 😆
My mom used to say that too. Good memories 😊💕
@DrHonda 🙋🏻♀️ Please watch The Affair on Showtime. They act out 2 and then as many as 5 different perceptions/memories of different characters. Truly would give you sooooooo much to go off of and to talk on all of your favorite shows!
Yes, he should totally react to it. The show’s main focus is romantic relationships and the storytelling and acting are great.
I was going to suggest this too!
@@trembletea I hope he sees my comments haha it just feels like the best show for him to connect to the rest of them
40:56 😂 It is also weird to expect the cast will eat in front of the studio audience.
I tend to give AD and Matthew the benefit of the doubt. I could definitely be wrong, but I think AD probably has more spine than what's shown - especially if they hypothsis of her being over-functioning is correct. Its gone on record thst she has defended herself and confronted Laura on the bean dip situation, and we've seen her confront Sarah Ann. I think its AD's natural tendency to extend herself and hold people accountable and I assume she did this with Clay and Matthew as well. Even her commenting on Chelsea's behavior is somewhat of a tic in the column for me. Lets also not forget she communicated her boundaries with Clay and stuck to them. She has not gotten back together with him. So I'm not really worried about her.
I also give Matthew the benefit of the doubt. My conceptualization is that he is not out to harm anyone. I just think his social skills are probably far below thr bell curve than we would expect and so he works very hard to overcompensate for that and its such a struggle for him that empathy is hard for him in the way that it is for a child. Which isnt to say that he doesn't have empathy I just think he struggles with it in the moment and probably has to process and work through it after the fact.
Isn’t it also a possibility that AD went out with Matthew prior to the show aired? So without the actual footage of Matthew’s behaviors, she just gave him the benefit of the doubt.
She went out with him knowing what he did. Contrast that to Amber's response of leaving the show and having nothing else to do with Matthew.
But did the show air before this reunion was taped? I think so, and she was still giddy when talking about him during the reunion.
She knew he said the same things to both. There was no doubt about that. There was nothing in the show that she wasn't already aware of
I absolutely believe she knew Megan Fox's name lol. Shes far more famous than MGK. As a woman, I see she told him that to lure him in. Obviously. Why else would you say that? I don't believe she was being manipulative or dishonest though. She said her friends tell her that, not that she DOES or thinks she does. Us women know that most men would latch onto that and risk it all 😂 she knew.
She admitted in interviews that she knew
yes she did admit, but also added that she felt so awkward to say it out laud that she looks like Megan Fox (although many people said this before to her, she doesn’t believe so) therefore she avoided mentioning her name. doesn’t seem to be ill intended. I thought she resembles her a bit (as much as you would to a celebrity) , and never thought people would make such a big deal out of it. Funny that people making comments like they can read her mind.. it’s pathetic at this point to keep blasting her about a silly comment.. “As a woman” I don’t really see that…
This was so informative! I think Dr Honda’s reaction to AD’s dating choices very closely parallels the reactions I see my therapists have to my own dating experiences. Which just confirms to me that I share some types of relational traumas as AD. Similarly I’m fairly competent in most other aspects of life, but dating, not so much.
I feel for AD. I used to be like her.. Someone who referred to men for approval. Its like your own needs and wants don't exist at that point, because your value is only through the eyes of men.. And not even men you're interested in.. Really any man. My dad was awful to me and never showed me love so I think that's why I was like that. Took a lot of growth to recognize my worth isn't dependent on a man thinking I was attractive or loveable.
What type of therapy (if any) did you find most helpful with this?
@@user-zk4ch7qs4s I did do therapy for a bit regarding narcissistic abuse later on where the therapist really showed me that I was worthy of having needs of my own and that I didn't exist just to care for others. Prior to that, I just spent a lot of years reading about psychology and watched people like Dr. Honda. Even just being aware of why I was that way helped me. I looked back to how I was in my early teens and 20s - just desperate for love from literally any man - and I just felt sad for myself. I asked myself if I even liked these people, and the answer was usually no. Doing things to develop my confidence and independence helped as well. My father was cruel and abusive and wouldn't let my mom work and I grew up in this mindset where I needed to appease any man for love AND for financial stability. I started working on being the best person I could be, developing hobbies, and also working on my career. I felt good about who I was as a person and also was more financially secure. Over time, it just has clicked more that I feel valuable on my own and don't need to get that through men. When you feel good about yourself, that desperation to "prove" to yourself that your worthy and loveable through others goes away.
From what we've seen, the women in her life seem to do that, too. I think it's normalized for her. Dismissing one's doubts + prioritizing being "chosen" as a required life milestone.
I can see AD feeling like she has the ‘upper hand’ with Matthew after his antics on the show, and being drawn to that dynamic as a codependent person, it could feel comfortable. Plus it sounds like she wanted to sleep with him.
Sharing this with a lot of love, but as someone who had real bed bugs just after I moved, I cannot with the bed bug jokes 😭 The bites are the least of one’s concern when it comes to bed bugs. The amount of work and lack of sleep trying to get rid of them… I recently was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and I realized that those 2-3 months of dealing with them put me in a low grade flare up, which has not gone away yet. It’s been almost 2 years…🙃 but I know no harm was meant!
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through all that. I truly hope you find some relief soon. In Dr. Honda's defense, it's an old saying. I'm 52 and my mom used to say it when she was putting me to bed, years before I even knew that bed bugs were a real thing, which I honestly didn't know until I few years ago. I don't think he meant it to be insensitive. Take care, and I hope I'm not coming off as insensitive either. 🩷
@@Erica-en2qz I totally get it. I also didn’t know it was a real thing until 2018 when I first saw them at a hostel in SF. I’m from Romania. Never heard about bed bugs at all growing up. But I sure know a lot about them now 😅
LOVED the don't let the bed bugs bite! My dad used to say that! It's later here so I'll take your advice! Cheers :)
Lmao, me laying in bed about to go to sleep…didn’t expect goodnight wishes from Dr Honda 🤓
Lol same 😂
It’s 1am
AD had already heard at the lake party Matthew was attractive. Then she met up with him for the supposed apology and thought he was attractive and lost all her senses. She values physical appearance highly, you can tell this bc after she meets Clay and when she is talking to her mom she continuously talks about how attractive Clay is. She refused to listen 👂 to what Clay was saying and just filtered everything through what she wanted to hear or wanted to be true. Who cares if you’re not ready for marriage Clay, I’ll say I got your back and then when you leave me at the altar I’ll be mad that you lied to me. Now supposedly Clay was telling her things to make her believe differently but idk if we can trust that bc obviously AD is not a reliable narrator if she can listen to a conversation and not hear the man saying he’s not ready for marriage.
This also comes into play with her going in a date with Matthew. She didn’t see the footage of the season or with Amber before going out with him bc it was after they filmed last year, but she did know he said the same thing to her and Amber and that’s all you really need to know isn’t it? She chooses guys that are not what she says she’s looking for maybe just to have someone or bc they’re attractive or have $.., who knows.
And the reason Matthew wasn’t with Amber is bc she had a bf the whole time, we’ve come to find out. And she agreed to leave the show before she got a proposal. So Matthew thought she was leaving the show for him but Amber was leaving to return to her bf back home. That’s why he wanted to apologize to AD. Also Matthew says he doesn’t drink and has talked like he lives a sober life so I wonder if he’s had addiction issues in the past and regimented schedules help him with his situation. That’s one thing I’ve heard from the pods, he was very distant from the guys, only drank water, tea, etc, and didn’t like the environment at all. If he was truly recently out of a sober living situation and doing this show where there is a lot of drinking, I could see how that would be stressful. But he seemed to be a bit too rigid and uncompromising. He already had a plan to leave the pods early and convince whatever girl he chose to leave with him.
40:37 That was my first thought too!! 🤣 The food looks plastic
hollywood has some amazing catering. even in the recording studios they put out spread of catered food and beverages. they have whole jobs dedicated to making sure the kitchens are stocked and food/coffee are picked up and delivered. thats what Grips do. lot of times they are interns. but yeah, the food and accommodations are on point
Matthew should have come to the reunion, imo.
Hey doc, I too am a HSP and I have a child with ASD. I think it's pretty fair to say " if you've met one person with autism spectrum, you've met one with autism spectrum" because I see it with my child and her peers. So funny, when AD said she had dinner with Matthew I also thought thank God he didn't kill her... Thank you for all that you do🙏
32:41 Oh Micah, 😂. It is passé to think pretty people are ugly on the inside. Yeah there are plenty of good looking people and not good looking people that are butt faces. It just seems like something a teenager would say.
33:04 but they are just plugging more of this stuff...
"Get the shrimp away from me!" 😂 Dr. Honda isn't just smart and compassionate, he funny y'all 👑
Poor A.D.😢men/trauma, is her Achilles heal❤❤❤
The food comment was funny because past cast members complained about not having enough food or water... I think production is over emphasizing the food to say, "See, we do feed them," lol 😆
Hank Green's recent autism video really was great, I can tell it reached people
Long time watcher, first time commenter here. I am autistic and I love watching your videos because they explain so much about human nature. This was the first time I’ve heard you speak about autism and I appreciated your comments and the way you spoke about it.
I feel like they highlighted the food because of all the lawsuits about production not feeding them and such lol
I just got home after spending time with my family in Seattle. I made sure everyone checked out your channel. ❤ Editing to say I was really in Bellevue but Seattle is what I’m used to saying to everyone in the South. They don’t know the difference lol.
I think you're right about autism spectrum really being a catch all for many different similar things rather than one single condition. I have a feeling there are a lot of people getting lumped into that category these days who are just very introverted and/or anxious, but there's increasing pressure for them to adopt the label. Or maybe adopting the label is a relief for people, it gives them a likeminded community and the feeling that it's not their fault that they're different. The same thing might be happening with the trans umbrella, where people who are just gender non-conforming, mostly gays and lesbians, are getting lumped in as "non-binary" and various other labels because they have superficial similarities, not necessarily a common biological mechanism.
It especially makes sense because unlike something like cystic fibrosis or sickle cell, we can't point to one gene that causes autism, it's thought to come from lots of different random mutations (which is why it's common for children of older parents where the man's sperm is more mutated). It's more like IBS, just a description of symptoms when other diagnoses were ruled out, that maybe in the future we'll understand better.
You said several one liners… my favorite was when you said something like “that’s far from the mean, u kno what I mean?” That’s a tee shirt
i would love love love to see you analyze love is blind japan. it's so different and interesting. would be much fun to see you talking about that
Maybe I’m giving him too much credit but I kinda wonder if Matthew just didn’t want to get married on the show and so he said “I won’t propose until I ask your dad” as a way to get out of it?
31:45 - 31:52 😂 making this a gif right now
I thought AD was trying to make Clay jealous with going out with Matt and also this whole presentation.
As a FEMALE therapist I believe Chelsea said people say she looks like MGK's fiancé as manipulation because she was threatened by Jessica's beauty. She wanted to sway Jimmy, which she did. She knew what she was doing without thinking about the consequences. Sadly, the consequences have been awful due to social media and lots of unkind people calling her out in mean ways. She doesn't deserve the hate but hopefully, she has learned to be more honest and less manipulative in future relationships.
Totally agree. I picked up on this and can't believe more people didn't.
I would love for you to do an episode summarising your thoughts on the season! Was there anything missed in the reunion? How can the format change for the better in the future? Etc.
I think it's very obvious that Matthew and Amber were plants. My boyfriend, who has worked with editing reality TV for many years also thinks so. My theory is that when they saw that AD was leaning towards maybe choosing Matthew they got Amber to repeat their conversations within ears shot of AD. It might sound like a crazy conspiracy theory but they just seem like actors and it's something that is done in reality TV all the time. As i wrote this i got curious and googled it, and there's a lot of people that think the same thing. There's a thread on reddit about it, with some very compelling theories.
They’re not though ! At least mattew isn’t, it’s been confirmed. Let’s not introduce bizarre conspiracy theories into the LIB franchise
Can you please talk more about the gifted/ highly sensitive? I was diagnosed with that, but "peer reviewed" with autism
I would love for you to talk more about Highly Sensitive People. I have strongly suspected I am one for a long time (me identifying with everything you have listed as an example of you being one only confirms it further) but no one talk about it, even among psychotherapists that I've seen, and it doesn't really feel like a legit thing that exist in common knowledge, whereas I feel like sometimes it's literally preventing me from living like everyone else, it feels like a handicap sometimes, more than a gift, because of the world we live in.
I also identified with a lot of the traits he listed. I would love to know more about it but most things I find online are a bit woo, which is absolutely not me, and I would appreciate a more scientific take.
Same…I always wish I could dial down the high sensitivity to smells, sounds, tastes, pain…the thoughts bouncing around my head at all times, the way every little thing scratches/itches/is annoying and distracting…and the way other people don’t understand ANY of it🤷🏻♀️The flip side of that is, we’re extra kind, empathetic, and highly sensitive to other’s vibes and feelings. Would really appreciate coverage of this topic!❤
@@smartmarketing173 oh same! Being so perceptive and sensitive ( in literally every declination of its meaning) feels like a curse. People are used to shut down their emotions and perceptions whereas we wear them on our sleeve all the time. I was so sensitive and weird as a child that my parents had to take me out of kindergarten one year early because I was overwhelmed all the time and couldn't adapt. I still hate the smell of early morning dew because it was what I smelled every morning going to kindergarten. It's like my emotional and sensory perceptions were always so heightened that daily activities were overwhelming to me. I don't know if anyone shares that sentiment
@onetwosbri You're not alone! Your comment resonated with me completely 😅
I'll say this again. AD has got all the signs of a love addict.
Omg Dr. Kirk has Lego Star Wars? He truly is the therapist we all want! :D
31:41 is a meme 😄💙
matthew just wanted a yes, and wanted to leave, and AD did not say hell yes, so he tried it on Amber.
Harblgarbl been waiting to see this lol
Matthew has done an interview now I think you should revisit this.
How long was that shrimp cocktail sitting out for is all I was thinking 😂😂😂
Idk Doc I know you try to give people the benefit of the doubt, & that’s what I love about you. I am myself don’t go around calling people liars willy-nilly. But nobody knows who MGK is lol.
I’d like women to chime in bc I am learning that yall can be competitive. I’ve been with the same woman half my life so i didn’t know this was a thing. Was this Chelsea being conniving and trying to lock down Jimmy and beat Jess?
Actually MGK is much more popular with the younger crowd- my teens would probably ONLY know megan fox and MGKs partner. Has she done much work lately? Maybe she is working a lot and I am just out of the loop…. But the younger generation would know MGK better, and he figured it out instanty
@@vanessabiggs4369they are not the younger crowd. Mid 20’s+ all know MF > MKG. And Chelsea already admitted in interviews to knowing what she looks like and intentionally playing coy.
Dr Honda can you react to Pearl Davis? She’s a spokesperson for the red pill community and I’d love to see your take on some of the things she’s been saying!
Nah, these idiots don’t need more exposure.
Please don’t 🙏🏾. She’s just saying everything and anything to please her audience which is an extreme niche of the red pill. Analysis done 😂
@@grinouna75 yeah I kind of don’t want to give it more exposure and credibility, though I can appreciate wanting Dr H to gently destroy it in his eminently tactful way😅
I haven't heard much discussion about Matthew wanting AD or Amber to leave with him. Do we have opinions on why he wanted to bail out of the experiment early? I dont understand the logic behind,
"If I can't ask your dad, let's just leave together," doesn't make sense to me.
It’s 1am 😂😅
Yeah I’ll get to bed soon (maybe by 2:00)
41:10 Hailey rose, here’s prime material, I laugh so much at your compilations, thank you!
Obviously Matthew was dating both Amber and AD in the pods at the same time and telling them similar things at the same time.
Almost certainly, the producers prompted the meeting where Amber told AD about Matthew (something like, "Amber why don't you and AD come sit over here and talk and we can shoot a scene of you two discussing who you've been connecting with in the pods!")
Then it naturally seems like they would save the actual pod footage with Amber for the reunion. It would take up run time during the series, plus they wanted the audience to be surprised about the Amber thing, learning about it for the first time along with AD. Then without having seen the footage for ourselves, we can wonder and speculate and make buzz on the internet about whether or not it's true.
Matthew had to know that this was going to be exposed at some point since it's all being recorded. He probably did it on purpose so that he could guarantee airtime by being a villain. He probably had a clout chasing mentality that no publicity is bad publicity. Or, maybe he's one of those psychopaths who are so messy they keep blowing up their own lives, but I think that's much less likely.
Not a psychopath by definition, let’s not use medical terms for reality tv people wanting clout😂💀just say self involved
@@jessariianelson9521 I'm responding to Dr. Honda postulating that he behaved psychopathically
Its shocking to me that Mathew had two women interested in him in the pods, he comes across so badly at least in the edit.
Matthew seems to still be throwing shots. He acted fake outraged about that chicken and rice thing even though he made that for other LIB ladies and is then throwing shots about how he made her and other women from the show famous. She needs to learn to leave at the first red flag.
Yup my read was autism spectrum + poor social skills + using a script he likely practiced over and over in his head + perhaps a little bit of narc/ salesman thrown in there for spice. I suspect i was raised by and have known so many ppl like this and this reading clicked almost right away with Matthew for me anyway. Would love to see a video about autism spectrum + narc traits, but i can't think of any characters on these shows that display this. Likely bc they either self-select or are selected out of the pools on these reality shows. Many lawyers, engineers, financial advisers (ahem) probably present this way but would never end up on these shows.
also: doubt many of them would ever step foot in a therapist's office either.
I didn't get narc vibes from Matthew. Neurospicy and misogynistic, yes. Narc, I feel that's something I'd only be comfortable saying about people I've interacted with on several occasions. That's sadly something that doesn't really reveal itself for a while.
@@cyt8284 to be clear i don't think its full-on narc at all, just some garden variety narc-lite with traits
Truthfully a lot of that food looked plastic to me, especially the shrimp. Might be why it looks bad
23:14 I know you did not just say AT-AT like that 😂
Clay is sending me 😂😂😂 look how stiff he is? WhaT is happening 😂😂😂
Izzy misses the food. Coming from somebody that eats 9n disposable plates
People with less access to good food might appreciate it more 😊
@@sintara8442you got that right
Can we be real for a second? AD allegedly had a sugar daddy and I haven't seen her deny it anywhere. She is also intelligent, confident, and no stranger to getting romantic/sexual attention. Apologies if this was brought up in the second half of this video, but is it not possible that she just likes casual encounters and does not shy away from receiving things from men? She doesn't even need to seek it out, the opportunities probably come to her. Matthew may have just said "let me make it up to you at this upscale restaurant, I will treat you, don't worry about a thing." And she said "Okay, but don't expect anything." And then it was up to her and HER desires. She thought he was cute, so... Eff it, why not? Because she didn't see him as a threat and she knew she wasn't committing to anything. Yes, plenty of people will have their opinions about that and advise against that behavior, but it's her prerogative. Not necessarily an example of her becoming submissive or putting herself to the side. Maybe just an example of her having questionable priorities 😅
This is how I see it too
"I can't wear any jewelry" says Dr. Honda, as he displays the hand wearing his wedding ring 🤔🤔🤔
He has a podcast where he talks about having a panic attack about his wedding ring!! I think it took him a long time to get used to it
@@asiram16 Oh, fascinating! i had no idea. I also have issues with all jewelry being too stimulating, so i was genuinely curious how he could wear one every day.
It's very frustrating as an autistic woman who was described as highly sensitive, overly smart, tied to routine kid throughout my childhood (and then boom, finds herself as a 40-year-old with three high-masking diagnosed autistic children) That every time someone sees someone a little rigid or a little socially anxious that is presenting as kind of an asshole misogynistic man, he must be autistic. He might be.... Or he might not be. Everyone is not "on the spectrum" (most of us simply prefer autistic) just because they show a few outward traits. We *don't know* his internal experiences and sensory experiences, which have just as much to do with being autistic as these outward things people are noting. It's a disservice to autistic women and non-binary people when being an awkward male a****** is associated with being autistic. He might just be a sexist jerk that tries to play a role in order to get women. Or he could be a struggling autistic man who doesn't fully understand his own neurotype who is speaking out loud about trying to fill in a role as he tries to process it and that comes across as incredibly problematic in a situation such as this one. Not a single one of us can tell from the data we have.
Matthew: Clark Kent or Tom Ripley?
It feels obvious, but someone needs to tell AD that lots of guys are “cute “ …that doesn’t mean you should go out with them.👀🤦🏻♀️
@@smartmarketing173 Totally
I'm confused. When I watch the Matthew scenes at the reunion he didn't appear to me to be saying the same things that he had said to add on the show. He says IF we get to that point where we want to get married then I would have to ask your dad. He doesn't say I want to ask your dad to marry me like he did with AD... it was a hypothetical. When I saw that I was confused is it almost made me feel like Matthew didn't do what they had accused him of. I feel like I'm probably alone on this one but that's what I got from watching this.
To be honest, I had the same reaction but the way they edited that montage made my head hurt so I am not interested in dissecting it. The way he talked about "America" and "underdog" is enough for me to write him off and wish him the best 😂
Please react to the Vial files with Chelsea and jimmy 🙏🏻 pretty please & thank you Dr. Kirk
Duuude.... the whole weaseling his way in... my most horrible ex tried that... and i didnt even dignify it with any response at all.
And about Ady...back home, people have always said the smartest modt intelligent people "stupid" when it comes to love... Guess proves emotional intelligence is just completely diffetent from the whole IQ thing... knew someone who kept vetting into absuive relationships... total of 5, till the last one.... she married... and is now still with and had been isolated from society by...
please could you analyze/ talk about baby reindeer? 🙏🙏🙏
Chelsea was absolutely being manipulative about the "machine gun Kelly's wife" comment. If that says more about me than Chelsea, then ok, I'm fine with that, it's always possible of course. It's also vey possible that she knew exactly what she was doing.
She knew exactly what she was doing - Chelsea. It doesn’t say more about you or me than her 😊
Jess being friends with Micah just adds more evidence to my theory that Jess is a southern mean girl who tried to use vulnerability to paper over her dishonesty about her child and force Jimmy into a proposal when she knew he wasn't ready
Dr Honda- now that we know so much on how Jimmy and friend Barb are acting online, and Jimmy’s terrible insights after a year away from the show. can you talk about how certain friendships of the opposite sex CAN keep you from finding a partner and staying together. Not saying this is Jimmy and his GFs, but I think Chelsea gave Jimmy a good edit on camera, and covered up a lot of his shit. If Jimmy had good girl friends they wouldn’t have him looking like an a-hole on interviews. He was close to these 2 women C & J and now he’s dragged them enough and has no self-awareness. Seems like he doesnt have people in his court grounding him. With Barb Clinging on for dear life - he is not likely to find anyone serious.
And his clear unwillingness to change the dynamic of the close friendships doesn't help either. He doesn't seem ready for anything serious.
35:46 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Ok so I don’t know what the “who the fuck did I marry” or whatever but the bad guys name is “Legion”?!?! Ya know that’s the name of a big demon in the Bible lol! I mean common parents! That’s like naming your kid Beelzebub 😂😂😂 of course they are gonna turn out bad
That's the nickname she gave him in order to not actually give his real name to the public. But yes I'm very sure that biblical figure inspired the nickname 😂
The Megan Fox issue, I truly don't understand. She said a *FRIEND* said she looked a bit like her, that's just saying this is the type you are, not that she's a 100% carbon copy. Chelsea is an extremely attractive and beautiful woman and her face does look a bit like Megan Fox, especially a younger MF before procedures. Why is this such a horrible thing to say? Okay, maybe for the sake of the "Love is Blind" spirit, but I don't think her comment was in any way to say that she's an exact copy of Megan Fox.
It's like people just jump at any occasion to bring down a woman.
America is not on his side.