Wow...your brain works so clearly. If everyone was capable of going through the inner pain, the world would me much better place. As it stands now, it is populated by narcissists who avoid their inner pain but cause it in other people...so keep waking up the infj army ☺
This reminds me of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). My best friend, who is a psychologist, is learning about this and she explained it as such: "Life is fundamentally painful. And to be happy means to ACT IN LINE WITH your own personal VALUES. And so you can either (a) act in line with your values and face difficulty because of the obstacles you're facing then, OR (b) you run away from acting upon your values and you face difficulty because of the inevitable pain that comes with not living your life in line with your values. And the idea is that, if you do not live in line with your values, the pain you're feeling actually stems from that (i.e. the realisation that you're not doing what you intuitively feel you should be doing). This is basically why so many of us are addicted. We try to numb down the pain of not living in line with our values or what we believe is the right thing to do. An example is cheating on your husband. If one of your core values is to be Honest, yet you're not telling your husband you've cheated on him because you're afraid of the emotional pain that confrontation may bring you, then you're going to suffer the consequence of not living in line with that core value of yours, which means you might create an addiction of some kind and resent yourself from not only being dishonest - the complete opposite of your core value - but also to be an addict who numbs down pain and isn't capable of facing emotional pain. That theory to me sounded something like this: There are two kinds of people: Those who are afraid to do the right thing and hide out or try to not feel it (fight it), and thus feel pain twice, and Those who are afraid to do the right thing but do it anyway, and thus feel pain in service of something Good. Either way, there will always be pain. And those who are happy in life are the ones who have learned how to constructively deal with pain. Don't know if this info really helps, but your 3 ways of dealing with pain just reminded me of that.
You are just really strong sharing your problems and anxieties in the public. Everyone can see this and honestly this would be my biggest anxiety that everyone knows I feel weak or to talk about my weaknesses. And you are even doing this, not to get help or encouragement but to help us! That's what I really admire about you! Stay cool and attractive
Wow this is amazing. True awareness. HAHA the story about you and pain "ok well I'm gonna stick around for awhile" yes this is so exactly what I'm going though and have went through so much in my life. You're actually inspiring me a lot. Thank you.
I had to prioritize my life to get through the pain cycle that was leading me to not want to live anymore. So I decided before I was going to go down that dead end I would try something called discipline. I gave myself the freedom to cry, roar, get angry, sob ...as hard as I could full strength for 10 mins 2 times/day. I had to not be half way in expressing everything in that department, going full blast for 10 whole mins each time. The rest of the day I had to do beneficial activities and be productive or professional. In doing this I was no longer wallowing in self pity even though what I was going through was real and horrifying. I reassured myself that I was not abandoning the grief and trauma because I had the 10 min time slots at my choosing to go through it all. The second demand each day was to find one thing that I was grateful for. Again I made a time for this but it did not have a time limit on it. I then meditated on this one thing and had to explore all the aspects of why I was giving this one thing my grateful stamp of approval. So this part can not be done half way either. It has to have aspects of love, beauty, kindness, life, wonder...this helps pull me out of the pain and gradually back into the living. It is a retraining process with discipline for loss and life balancing. After awhile there will be more and more things you find to be grateful for and it will reflect in your individual growth.
I've put this advice into affect several times since watching your video. When I became aware the wave of anguish was about to overtake me I reminded myself, "yes, it hurts." and then kept about my business. Such a relief to try to not free myself from the spiderweb which is exhausting and futile and only wraps me tighter. Thanks for the very helpful video. You the man!
I'm an INFJ. Showing love by expressing gratitude or by words like I love you's comes naturally to me. I just love telling my loved ones that I love them and care for them. And I love giving them presents. Today I gave friends of mine a gift and they were so happy and appreciative I told them it makes me happy to see you so happy! I felt the tears in my eyes burning already out of joy. Maybe it has to do with my mom being sweet with me when I was younger, always cuddling. I'm also a big hugger. When I hugged my friend today I immediately got all emotional, cuz I'm going threw a hard time with my healing journey and I was so happy to see her it just overwhelmed me. I'm really trying to embrace my sensitive side. I always came up with excuses before like "I'm on my period". Which was then true. Or "I need to get my period, that's why I'm so emotional". Like it's bad to be emotional and cry. This to has to do with my upbringing. However, talking about my "negative" feelings like sadness, anxiety, anger, pain etc that's a whole different story. I don't like to talk about those. And when I do, it gets super intense. Can't control the emotions. Especially since it's heightened due to "depression" and ptsd. I do feel okay at times. But who wouldn't be sad with some intense stuff happening in their life? I'm working really hard now. Psychologist, making contact and hanging out with only sweet, understanding and sincere people. It truly nourishes my soul. I made an appointment for an amanae treatment. You guys should look it up. Hope it's helpful for you. I took the Briggs Meyers test 4 days ago. After 2 days I did the test again with the same result. I thought perhaps it was my mood. 10 years or so ago I did the test with the same result. I forgot I did the test. When I saw the picture from the result I got a deja vu and remembered that I did the test years ago. I only found out about the test when I saw a video of yours and I was mind blown. It was as if you were speaking out my thoughts. It felt like I finally came home. Such a recognition! It's an eye opener for me to find out I'm not alone with the way I think and how I perceive life. I've always felt different like I don't belong. Knowing about being an INFJ t is a gift for me. I considered myself as an Empath and HSP cuz I could definitely relate to those. Last few weeks I've gained new perspectives on life. On certain people's behaviour. It also helps me to let it be as it is, to accept it. Thank you for your uploads! You're really helping others going threw similar stuff. Continue exploring your mind like a true adventurer! Peace 🌟
Thank you for this, sometimes the amount of pain is stunning. I keep wanting to think my way out,( introspection and all that) spending hours trying to figure out what it means then feeling devastated when the latest answer fails and the pain returns. Watching this video really gave me peace~👌😊
Your voice is so soothing, I was watching this around bed time and it make me so relaxed to go to bed but, I had to turn it off because I was too interested in what you were saying and wanted to watch the rest of the video without falling asleep lol.
I just found your videos. They've explained so much for me. I know we suffer a lot. I hope you're doing okay. When I tried to kill myself when I was young, the paramedic kept saying, "But why would a beautiful girl like you do that?" Aside from that I felt like the ugliest being on earth at that time, I never really got why he was saying that, but I watch your videos (probably the only INFJ I've ever seen on RUclips), and I'm starting to get it--you're so beautiful and you seem so smart and like you have it all (I know I'm perceived this way, too; probably many/most of us are); it's hard to imagine why you'd feel so bad. Man, I never say this much in comments. I already regret it. But I felt like it might help you; it would have helped me if I'd heard such a thing, at certain times in my life. Anyway, I know we simply feel how we feel, but you just seem like a cool and capable type who shouldn't have to feel it, if that makes any sense. Take care, and thanks for making these videos; I feel less alone.
I've been obsessing over thoughts and pain for about 4 weeks now. This definitely helps. I've been trying to detach from it a bit so I can at least function and not seem like I went off the deep end.
It’s really funny, the first time I watched this video I was 15 years old and I was binging all your videos. I’m not almost 20 and I still think about this philosophy all the time when I feel pain. Thanks Frank. I’m glad you’re in a better place than you were when you made this video
I like to observe my emotions and find the reason I started to feel this way. I recently realized how many bad decisions I made because I got overwhelmed by pain. I think that the 3rd way is the most helpful because you get to observe the pain but you don't let it affect your life. Thank you. Btw I love listening to your voice it's so relaxing. ❤️
This advice was given to me a few years ago. It helped me heal from my first depressive episode back then. Now, going through something similar, I forgot how to deal with all of these emotions, after so long. I thought I wouldn't have to feel like this again, so I let my guard down. But now, I find myself here. Dealing with an inner turmoil I can't share with anyone. I don't want my friends or family to be worried. I don't want to be a burden. I just want to be able to deal with it on my own and not have anyone damaged by the recoil. But I forgot how to do that. It's so scary to re-live something like this. It's incredibly frustrating to let the same demons from before take over your life, once again. Making the same mistakes. This video found me at the right time. I'll be fine. I just need some time to think and reach out for new perspectives. I still have a lot to learn so that I can create a more solid internal structure in my way of thinking, that won't let me fall into the same traps again. I'm mad at myself. I should be better than this.
How does RUclips know exactly what I need to watch? This was me today. Sad because my school year was not going to end the way I wanted, but then I just decided to let myself be sad. I'm fortunate to now have the space to feel my feelings.
Whenever I have anxiety and the obsessive loop tries to sneak in, my mantra is to repeat these words very slowly and breathe... Self-Preservation... Self-Preservation... Self-Preservation... It truly helps. Daily we forget to take care of our own well being, its not selfish it IS Self-Preservation. Thanks for this additional video. James have a great weekend! :-)
Thank you Frank. I watched this video at a time when I really needed some help dealing with pain. This approach has never occurred to me. It's been helpful.
I just recently discovered your videos. I love your 16 personalities videos, and decided to dig deeper into your content. I’ve been trying to work through some things and become self aware. I’m sure you get so many comments that you can’t read them all, but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing. I hope you understand when I say that I can’t decide if want to continue watching or go watch a cat video and float on down the River of Denial. You have me in my feels. Ugh
Sharing your thoughts & experiences is so very helpful. I appreciate it. When I'm really in the pit of despair, I have a, Songs That Make Me Cry, playlist on Spotify. I listen to it & give into the pain. For me it's cathartic. Then I try not to dwell on it, but kick it to my subconscious. Later I'll have moments of clarity. There's still things I'm learning & understanding about myself. Both your insightful & humorous vids came into my life when I really needed them. Thank you.
I am really happy I found your channel Frank. I have been stuck inside my mind for a long time and I've been dealing with obssessive thoughts that just seem to never go away. I do not feel in control over them. And what's worse is that I can't explain how it feels to the people close to me. But your videos make everything so clear and you explain the feelings so well. Thank you so much.
I hope you can see what a huge, positive impact you're having on people ! Thanks for sharing so much ! I see all the comments full of people trying to connect and you're facilitating that ! For so many people who don't feel connected, you're helping. I love watching the progression.
I wish I would have found you on the day you made this video. That month was one of the worst in my life. I'm so happy I found you, you really don't know how important you are and what you do. I appreciate you so very much I hope you keep making these videos!!!
"It means I need to destroy all the relationships in my life." I can so relate to this. I think it's so important to hear these things (not holding onto pain, and not shaming it, etc.) from an INFJ perspective because when we (I) hear it from other types, it just feels like another "you don't understand me and what I'm going through/what I'm feeling" even though it is sound advice. Thank you for the tips and for sharing your perspective on painful thoughts/emotions. Very worth the watch! Keep it up! :)
I just subscribed a few days ago. I find your talks to be so interesting and I relate to most of it. As you know, as an INFJ, we can feel like no one understands us. I look forward to more. Have a wonderful day!
Just so you know- you are helping me. And I thank you for that. So appreciative! Informative, I’m reminded I’m not alone, and your sense of humor is the icing😂
I wish I had found this before, I've been trying to deny it and didn't realize it was even worse until now. I think I've ruined two close friendships because of this feelings in less than 6 months and I'm starting to lose it but your channel is really helping me out, Frank, thank you.
Frank, your videos are awesome. Almost everything you say in your videos resonate so much with me sometimes I have to turn you off and come back in a minute because I just need to sit and be thankful other people feel all this same feelings and have a lot of the same thoughts. I wish I knew you dude. Really.
Watch it. Watch the pain. Awesome concept! My pain is the death of my boyfriend. I feel like a widow with my son, and it is definitely a process continuing to live and be continually changed by it as the days go on. Not defined by it, but changed. Watch your pain. Your pain is something outside of you. It is a thing. It is there. And it's okay. And it can stay there with you.
Yeah, so I really needed this video today.... In the past, I have always closed myself off and ignored any type of intense, emotional pain. I don't really like the feeling of vulnerability and not being ok... I bottle things up.. and I did that with my last breakup. I knew I would have to come back to it and deal with the pain head on eventually, but it almost felt as though it was eating me alive and consuming me at the worst of times. Prolonging it made it feel so much worse than if I had just accepted it and handled it head on. I feel better having faced it, though. Today, something else came up in my life and I know I need to allow the pain to run its course... but, once again, the fear of pain and vulnerability has me at a halt... it's almost as though I see myself at a crossroad. I either deal with it now and let it run through my system.... or I bottle it up and deal with it later because I have to be strong for so many other people that I dont have time to be weak. I know nothing is as simple as finding out the solution to an issue, resolving it on your own, and having the magic to do it perfectly from then on... things take practice.... but I must say- I wish I had a little bit of that magic to make it easy now 😂
I have been going through the grief process for the past 2 years which includes pain, self awareness, meditation, discovery, rumination, anxiety, anger, resentment, acceptance, and gratitude for me. But it keeps mixing and changing daily, hourly even... I’m so glad I found you here. I am very much in pain and your words and your being is like a salve for me and makes my pain just a little more bearable. I think I’m going to meditate now and see what I find. Eckhart Tolle uses that method as well and I try to follow it but I forget and fall back into negative patterns. Thank you, Frank, for your beautiful insight. 💕
Grieving situations is very important I've learned. That space of grief I've really learned a sense of mental awakening and understanding, also knowledge , humbleness
Thank you Frank. Pain is a constant part of my life. But i feel like i can deal with it better now compared to years ago, of course thanks to people like yourself.💓💪
How could i found your channel just now? You have briliant mind, i can relate with your experiences and understand them clearly. I saw the other video about the evil loop, and for my case i release my pain after accidentally cried it out in front of someone who supported me at that time, which actually i think not really my inner circle. The strange thing is, somehow in my mind i felt embarrased but the real me at that time didn't feel it at all but grateful finnaly someone noticed Guess what, congrats you've got a new fan
I just wanted to say I came back to this a few times now when I felt really bad, so thank you it helps me grounding and somehow it helps me feel better idk. Thank you.
I just found u today and I subbed. I relate to on a huge level. I like you and ur sensitively and think Exactly like me. I’m being very sincere. I hope u can believe that. God bless you. Our INFJ lives are difficult. I actually hate being INFJ.
I used to hate myself, because I didn't understand myself. Now I see that I'm just different. And in my heart of hearts I know that we have a gift (a curse if not used properly, yes), but a gift. I would say we see a world that not many people see, but really we feel a world not many people get too feel. And I believe that even though 99% of the population won't see things our way, we still need to be us and share that gift with the world. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm just crazy.
@@brandiehoven4413, I feel the hate and I feel the love for INFJ. It is a gift for the world, which is hard to change and stand up against. But we are wise.
The more intense the pain, the bigger the lesson. The worst is when you've been through that lesson before but have drifted back into your former way and now it comes back on you even harder. So you beat yourself up with "I should have known better. When will I ever learn?" But when you really get knocked on your a$$ so hard you bounce, you can take comfort in the fact that you very probably will never forget the lesson this time.
I think you are amazing as you are) and yea I feel not so good cause there is war in my country and I am Ukrainian. I have depression and anxiety, dissosioation thing etc but I find a lot of joy in your channel and I'm thankful for that😊
It's funny, even though I know you're only looking at the camera it really feels like you're looking at and paying attention to me, the audience! Must be that intimate INFJ stare. 👀 P.S. -- I'm glad you're over your inner turmoil.
As I sit here shut down from something that happened yesterday, in my bed, hanging with the dog, not wanting to be in the world I appreciate this video. Still amazes me how I LET a very critical, negative boss allow me to be in this place. I will keep working on it.
Can also be termed as ridding yourself of internal resistance just by allowing it to pass through you, if you're into LOA. Something I think a lot of INFJs can benefit from getting into. What you resist persists, and what you dwell in you create more of in the present. So if you can, take the third course of action and allow it to pass through you from an observational standpoint. Just like a kid that's angry or crying, if you sit down and face them and give them your attention, you'll notice they ease up and realize it was nothing. It's like your inner child will do that too, so you can choose to sit patiently and face that conflict or pain inside of you, allowing it to say what it has to say (without feeding it or immersing yourself) - you can even tell yourself that out loud like you're sitting down with an upset kid. You'll notice that very shortly it just fades into nothing, as it was only inflated cause you tried to push it away/ignore it.
I agree with your conclusion. Acceptance is the way to go. It takes courage, but the more I accept stuff, the more I can overcome. Everything is going to be ok.
Jori Church , I agree. Acceptance is good...as long as it is something that is acceptable. HOWEVER, as a true INFJ, there are things that are NOT acceptable and I won't ever accept those things. Accepting the unacceptable would be akin to discarding my principles, standards, beliefs, ethics, integrity, etc and that is something I cannot do.
You make me realize I exactly done the same thing, before watching the video. After breakup, I though my depression and anxiety will stay for a long time, but depression left faster than I expected. For my anxiety, I think I was able to find the causes of this. I found one of them which were unconscious, after having resolving itself. After done the 2nd Covid Vaccine, my morning wake up anxiety was very lower. Seems one of the causes of my anxiety was the fear to be sick of this virus. As you said in one of your other video, the solutions to go into deep the pain as we do/done it, and not to escape/dodge/ignore as my mother do for example. I know she is not well in her mind, but herself maybe doesn’t know, she doesn’t want to face her mental pain (I think she is ISTJ). Any days ago, I sent her my postmail my 7 pages letters about my life, my childhood, my way of thinking, myself... In order to help her, teach her, make her realizes It’s ok and normal to feel this, It’s ok to feel pain and process it. Seems, we are not just good to observe, analyse, see the details, connecting the dots outside on the concrete world. But also inside, and be able to link/connect the both side. All can surely do, but INFJ we maybe have more facility to do it. To go deep inside.
I would say that works for everything except grief. I mean, you can get to a place where you have to stop leaning into it, but depending on the loss, it can take years for some of us. The pain of loss of my father was so overwhelming, that it took almost 7 years before I could mention his name without breaking down. But pain of relationships, or other things like pain of loneliness, or striving for something, I think what you said is right. It's a lot like meditation. These thoughts want to come into your head, and instead of pushing them away, you just observe them and they float by like clouds....I know this is a way old video, but if it comes on my feed and looks interesting, I watch. Sorry🙂✌
When he said it’s to feed your ego that shit gutted me man, all my life people have made it a point to be my friend, say I’m a good listener, speaker, all the above in terms of communication. Anyhow, point being is I know I’ve had a rough life but it shouldn’t feed my emotions or thoughts correlating what it is that needs to be done and received in order for me to feed my happiness and such eustress I should only be acknowledging in the very occurring moment. Man if we met you’d be my best friend 🤣 #accountabilityiskey
I was thinking about going to therapy but just watching your channel helped a great deal and I honestly doubt that someone else could understand my struggles so well as you do. Thank you.
I think the solution you present is a good one! Within the last 5 years there have been so much research done and results shared. At one time it was asserted that while in the womb, the growing baby is subjected to all the feelings, tastes, experiences, including music that the mother is living through. 9 months is a significant amount of time. Even, let's say, the totally bogus soap operas she watches on tv during her pregnancy. As the baby inside her, you are absorbing her emotional responses, they are not connected to real life. You never see what is really going on, yet you feel it. And your body reacts to it. Fast forward in your life, you are having all these feelings that are upsetting. Seemingly unconneted to your life. And it is because they are completely not part of your real life, it might have been from some soap operas your mom watched once upon a long time ago that she barely remembers if at all! Just sit with it, acknowledge and let go would be really appropriate. Not even important.
I just found this recent video you made after I commented on your last one that you need to come back. I guess I should follow your channel more closely... thank you for making your videos! I appreciate them so much! And I guess "come back" could be up for metaphysical interpretation. Tell your higher self to come back into your life so that you can develop your beautiful soul. You have so much to offer people I can see you being a life coach.. or a "good" cult leader.
Totally agree & relate. Humans do primarily learn/grow through Pain & Insight. And the inner-journey to step-out of the Ego to better understand things is sooo Key to really getting to the root of the matter. YOU'VE demonstrated/expressed that BEAUTIFULLY. And in real-time. Thank you! We Love You for that. And yes, watch out for those boogers. 😜
Hi Frank, I don´t normally comment on videos, but I´ve been watching your videos and you´ve really given me some insight into my own brain :D...I thank you for that and in return, I would like to help you as well...I know that this video is old and not relevant anymore and you probably won´t even see this comment but I can´t help myself from writing it. I see myself a lot in the way you are thinking and processing stuff, I was struggling with really difficult depression for a couple of years and crazy anxiety my whole life. I thought I was never good enough, that I was not doing what I was supposed to do, that I was a failure and I had this void inside that I was trying to fill. Sure, some of the stuff can be caused by my personality type, but let me tell you, everyone has this void inside of them, everyone is trying to figure their place and purpose in life, we were created by God like this so that we are never satisfied without Him. When all I wanted was to die and I didn´t know what to do anymore I finally asked God to help me. Long story short, he healed me from depression, recently from anxiety as well, I encountered him as well, basically, his power knocked me down and I couldn't move for quite some time and He showed me how much He loves me. Words cannot describe His love for us and he loves you like that as well, He send his son to die only for you! That´s crazy man. As I said I normally don´t comment but I experienced something that I want to share because it breaks my heart seeing people go through what I was going through when they don´t have to. From your content, I don´t think that you are a believer and you probably think I´m crazy but you seem to me like someone who wants to know the truth. So you may take this as a challenge, try to seek God, ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you. If he doesn´t exist you have nothing to lose, but if He does, you have everything to gain. PS: I´m really not some religious fanatic :D...just a young girl studying French whose life was transformed radically by Jesus Christ...hope you find the truth one day :)..another PS: I don´t even know if it makes sense, English is not my first language + I cannot write coherent sentences. Ok, done with my rent, bye :D
Update: I just watched your video where you explain why you gave up trying to come out of your shell and it blew my mind how much I felt the same way before I gave my life to Jesus. I was and still am a loner but I hated it before!...I also wanted to find my salvation in other people, stuff, prospects in the future, etc., but I found it all superficial and meaningless...now, I am still a loner but I don´t mind anymore. I found my identity in Christ as His beloved child. You said you were looking into some spiritual stuff, I don´t know what you meant exactly, but many people when they are trying the meaning of life, they don´t even consider Christianity, probably because the society makes it seem like something that it´s really not but in fact, it is the only true way to salvation. I don´t know how are you doing today with your search for the truth and as I said, I hope you find it :) and trust me, there is more to this life than it seems!
I recently went through a paranoid and resentful phase. It was building up and there were lots of contributing internal and external factors. But now I just have to not dwell on it and just, in a way, step back from it, and let it disappear. A lot of anxiety around the people I work with has disappeared as well, and that was one of the many factors involved in this emotional toil that I had.
I have been going through the same thing for the past couple of weeks. At first I thought it was because of the toxic people I have to deal with at work. Then it dawned on me that it is up to me to break the loop of negativity. There is pain in life. I need to learn to let go and be mindful and stay in the present.
I can understand where you are coming from a few days ago i was the lowest in my life and i can only remember that my friend running for me to stop me doing something dumb and butting hes arms around me and i only cried while he craspes me and that was the biggest cense of being freed from inner pain what I had dealth for over many many years
Watch it... Feel it... Yeah... I'm here in that process of breaking the loop...its taking time And I'm being patient with this cursive intensity of feelings... Some moments it gets calm and then again I remember an incident and clarity comes.. With pain, with realisation.. And truth...
I'm a feeder. For me, just being able to talk it out with someone you value definitely helps. It's especially therapuetic for me if you can express yourself to the cause of the pain. But I understand that's not always an option. Gonna try to be a watcher moving forward.
I saw the title for this video Yesterday and thought watching would make me feel a little sad. I've had a great day (to some extent). But I knew I was going to watch it today. Here I am.. I was right (coz some real shit happen to me if no one understand) .. but I am glad I've watched it today. I feel way better than before.. It's feel like someone knows my Pain without the disturb feeling of someone else knows the deeper side of me (What the hell I am talking about). Also, It's odd to me that you shave your beard but forget to cut your nail.. Sure, unless it was done attentionally 🤔 Anyway, great video.
Lets take it further. It reminds me of the song...The first cut is the deepest. When I was a young girl I had to have an operation. Midway through the surgery I woke up because the anesthesia didn't work. It took six men to hold me down. They knocked me out again to finish the surgery not realizing that they had not closed a major artery and I was bleeding out. They had to rush me back to the operating room for another seven hours of surgery. I was a child! The hospital covered up their mistake and my records got lost. When I go under anesthesia, I still feel everything. One example of pain in my life with no recourse because of Cover-ups. I have also coded at least three times so I know what being dead is and who God and angels are and why I am still here.
Thank you so much.. Very less things in this world help me cope with myself and your videos have the major part in it. Please keep making these videos. And if you have an Instagram account, please let me know. Thanks
do you ever think about engaging the pain? i do not mean to feed it. i mean to say "Okay, i see you, and see you are willing to hurt me to get me to notice *something*.... so what is it?" just like a child who if it does not get the kind of attention it wants will go right ahead and seek 'bad' attention. i will say to my friends (all 2 of them) that "i have been sitting and having tea and crumpets with this issue/pain". more often than not it really is trying to tell you something that maybe you have not wanted to deal with at the moment. Carl Jung's approach to paying close attention to what your dreams (subconscious) are telling you about your inner world, and his work with Archetypes have helped me tremendously, in being able to do this. just watching it is fine... it is already a much more effective thing to do than anything else. but if you only watch it, you may miss out on what it wants to tell you. i always loved Billie Holiday singing "Good morning Heartache" as it encapsulates it reallly well. especially when in the end she just offers it a seat....like 'okay, you aren't going away so sit down, tell me what you want to say.'
Wow...your brain works so clearly.
If everyone was capable of going through the inner pain, the world would me much better place. As it stands now, it is populated by narcissists who avoid their inner pain but cause it in other people...so keep waking up the infj army ☺
Ok you'd be such a great counselor.
He IS a counselor.here...im very grateful to have found this place.
i agree ....he's indirectly counselling us
All INFJ's kinda have the ability, to make people feel better...
“let’s just calm down guys” fj tells his other braincells
This reminds me of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). My best friend, who is a psychologist, is learning about this and she explained it as such: "Life is fundamentally painful. And to be happy means to ACT IN LINE WITH your own personal VALUES. And so you can either (a) act in line with your values and face difficulty because of the obstacles you're facing then, OR (b) you run away from acting upon your values and you face difficulty because of the inevitable pain that comes with not living your life in line with your values.
And the idea is that, if you do not live in line with your values, the pain you're feeling actually stems from that (i.e. the realisation that you're not doing what you intuitively feel you should be doing).
This is basically why so many of us are addicted. We try to numb down the pain of not living in line with our values or what we believe is the right thing to do.
An example is cheating on your husband. If one of your core values is to be Honest, yet you're not telling your husband you've cheated on him because you're afraid of the emotional pain that confrontation may bring you, then you're going to suffer the consequence of not living in line with that core value of yours, which means you might create an addiction of some kind and resent yourself from not only being dishonest - the complete opposite of your core value - but also to be an addict who numbs down pain and isn't capable of facing emotional pain.
That theory to me sounded something like this: There are two kinds of people: Those who are afraid to do the right thing and hide out or try to not feel it (fight it), and thus feel pain twice, and Those who are afraid to do the right thing but do it anyway, and thus feel pain in service of something Good. Either way, there will always be pain. And those who are happy in life are the ones who have learned how to constructively deal with pain.
Don't know if this info really helps, but your 3 ways of dealing with pain just reminded me of that.
Red Dae Oh wow, you're welcome :)
Really great info. Thanks
Wow wow you are great. Thank you for sharing this.
I m gonna try to save it to read it again an again.
Thank you. Wish you and your friend a good time.
", and usually the story of your life isn't a good one" u got me laughing while drained in sadness lol
You said “ruminate” and that is one of my favorite words.
You are just really strong sharing your problems and anxieties in the public. Everyone can see this and honestly this would be my biggest anxiety that everyone knows I feel weak or to talk about my weaknesses. And you are even doing this, not to get help or encouragement but to help us! That's what I really admire about you! Stay cool and attractive
Wow this is amazing.
True awareness.
HAHA the story about you and pain "ok well I'm gonna stick around for awhile" yes this is so exactly what I'm going though and have went through so much in my life.
You're actually inspiring me a lot. Thank you.
I am glad to have inspired you! You inspire me too.
@@FrankJames Aww look how cute you were James!!
you are still cute! - ENFP
So kind
I had to prioritize my life to get through the pain cycle that was leading me to not want to live anymore. So I decided before I was going to go down that dead end I would try something called discipline. I gave myself the freedom to cry, roar, get angry, sob ...as hard as I could full strength for 10 mins 2 times/day. I had to not be half way in expressing everything in that department, going full blast for 10 whole mins each time. The rest of the day I had to do beneficial activities and be productive or professional. In doing this I was no longer wallowing in self pity even though what I was going through was real and horrifying. I reassured myself that I was not abandoning the grief and trauma because I had the 10 min time slots at my choosing to go through it all. The second demand each day was to find one thing that I was grateful for. Again I made a time for this but it did not have a time limit on it. I then meditated on this one thing and had to explore all the aspects of why I was giving this one thing my grateful stamp of approval. So this part can not be done half way either. It has to have aspects of love, beauty, kindness, life, wonder...this helps pull me out of the pain and gradually back into the living. It is a retraining process with discipline for loss and life balancing. After awhile there will be more and more things you find to be grateful for and it will reflect in your individual growth.
I've put this advice into affect several times since watching your video. When I became aware the wave of anguish was about to overtake me I reminded myself, "yes, it hurts." and then kept about my business. Such a relief to try to not free myself from the spiderweb which is exhausting and futile and only wraps me tighter. Thanks for the very helpful video. You the man!
I'm an INFJ. Showing love by expressing gratitude or by words like I love you's comes naturally to me. I just love telling my loved ones that I love them and care for them. And I love giving them presents. Today I gave friends of mine a gift and they were so happy and appreciative I told them it makes me happy to see you so happy! I felt the tears in my eyes burning already out of joy.
Maybe it has to do with my mom being sweet with me when I was younger, always cuddling. I'm also a big hugger.
When I hugged my friend today I immediately got all emotional, cuz I'm going threw a hard time with my healing journey and I was so happy to see her it just overwhelmed me. I'm really trying to embrace my sensitive side. I always came up with excuses before like "I'm on my period". Which was then true. Or "I need to get my period, that's why I'm so emotional". Like it's bad to be emotional and cry. This to has to do with my upbringing.
However, talking about my "negative" feelings like sadness, anxiety, anger, pain etc that's a whole different story. I don't like to talk about those. And when I do, it gets super intense. Can't control the emotions. Especially since it's heightened due to "depression" and ptsd. I do feel okay at times. But who wouldn't be sad with some intense stuff happening in their life? I'm working really hard now. Psychologist, making contact and hanging out with only sweet, understanding and sincere people. It truly nourishes my soul. I made an appointment for an amanae treatment. You guys should look it up. Hope it's helpful for you.
I took the Briggs Meyers test 4 days ago. After 2 days I did the test again with the same result. I thought perhaps it was my mood. 10 years or so ago I did the test with the same result. I forgot I did the test. When I saw the picture from the result I got a deja vu and remembered that I did the test years ago. I only found out about the test when I saw a video of yours and I was mind blown. It was as if you were speaking out my thoughts. It felt like I finally came home. Such a recognition! It's an eye opener for me to find out I'm not alone with the way I think and how I perceive life. I've always felt different like I don't belong.
Knowing about being an INFJ t is a gift for me. I considered myself as an Empath and HSP cuz I could definitely relate to those. Last few weeks I've gained new perspectives on life. On certain people's behaviour. It also helps me to let it be as it is, to accept it.
Thank you for your uploads! You're really helping others going threw similar stuff.
Continue exploring your mind like a true adventurer!
Peace 🌟
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I am glad my videos are helping you!
Appreciate you reading my comment! 😁
Thank you for this, sometimes the amount of pain is stunning. I keep wanting to think my way out,( introspection and all that) spending hours trying to figure out what it means then feeling devastated when the latest answer fails and the pain returns. Watching this video really gave me peace~👌😊
❤
Your voice is so soothing, I was watching this around bed time and it make me so relaxed to go to bed but, I had to turn it off because I was too interested in what you were saying and wanted to watch the rest of the video without falling asleep lol.
I just found your videos. They've explained so much for me. I know we suffer a lot. I hope you're doing okay. When I tried to kill myself when I was young, the paramedic kept saying, "But why would a beautiful girl like you do that?" Aside from that I felt like the ugliest being on earth at that time, I never really got why he was saying that, but I watch your videos (probably the only INFJ I've ever seen on RUclips), and I'm starting to get it--you're so beautiful and you seem so smart and like you have it all (I know I'm perceived this way, too; probably many/most of us are); it's hard to imagine why you'd feel so bad. Man, I never say this much in comments. I already regret it. But I felt like it might help you; it would have helped me if I'd heard such a thing, at certain times in my life. Anyway, I know we simply feel how we feel, but you just seem like a cool and capable type who shouldn't have to feel it, if that makes any sense. Take care, and thanks for making these videos; I feel less alone.
I love these old vids, so frickin authentic, chill, like a frand frank
I've been obsessing over thoughts and pain for about 4 weeks now. This definitely helps. I've been trying to detach from it a bit so I can at least function and not seem like I went off the deep end.
It’s really funny, the first time I watched this video I was 15 years old and I was binging all your videos. I’m not almost 20 and I still think about this philosophy all the time when I feel pain. Thanks Frank. I’m glad you’re in a better place than you were when you made this video
I like to observe my emotions and find the reason I started to feel this way. I recently realized how many bad decisions I made because I got overwhelmed by pain. I think that the 3rd way is the most helpful because you get to observe the pain but you don't let it affect your life. Thank you. Btw I love listening to your voice it's so relaxing. ❤️
This advice was given to me a few years ago. It helped me heal from my first depressive episode back then. Now, going through something similar, I forgot how to deal with all of these emotions, after so long. I thought I wouldn't have to feel like this again, so I let my guard down. But now, I find myself here. Dealing with an inner turmoil I can't share with anyone. I don't want my friends or family to be worried. I don't want to be a burden. I just want to be able to deal with it on my own and not have anyone damaged by the recoil. But I forgot how to do that. It's so scary to re-live something like this. It's incredibly frustrating to let the same demons from before take over your life, once again. Making the same mistakes.
This video found me at the right time. I'll be fine. I just need some time to think and reach out for new perspectives. I still have a lot to learn so that I can create a more solid internal structure in my way of thinking, that won't let me fall into the same traps again.
I'm mad at myself. I should be better than this.
How does RUclips know exactly what I need to watch? This was me today. Sad because my school year was not going to end the way I wanted, but then I just decided to let myself be sad. I'm fortunate to now have the space to feel my feelings.
Stephanie Douglass I feel exactly the same
I process the same. WHY I’m sad, which side of the fork in the road I’m going to take, and finally what I can be grateful for/learn.
Whenever I have anxiety and the obsessive loop tries to sneak in, my mantra is to repeat these words very slowly and breathe... Self-Preservation... Self-Preservation... Self-Preservation... It truly helps. Daily we forget to take care of our own well being, its not selfish it IS Self-Preservation. Thanks for this additional video. James have a great weekend! :-)
This is exactly what I needed to hear exactly the time I needed it. Thanks, FJ
Thank you Frank. I watched this video at a time when I really needed some help dealing with pain. This approach has never occurred to me. It's been helpful.
I just recently discovered your videos. I love your 16 personalities videos, and decided to dig deeper into your content. I’ve been trying to work through some things and become self aware. I’m sure you get so many comments that you can’t read them all, but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing. I hope you understand when I say that I can’t decide if want to continue watching or go watch a cat video and float on down the River of Denial. You have me in my feels. Ugh
“Just watch it”, is tremendous advice.
Thank You!
Sharing your thoughts & experiences is so very helpful. I appreciate it. When I'm really in the pit of despair, I have a, Songs That Make Me Cry, playlist on Spotify. I listen to it & give into the pain. For me it's cathartic. Then I try not to dwell on it, but kick it to my subconscious. Later I'll have moments of clarity. There's still things I'm learning & understanding about myself. Both your insightful & humorous vids came into my life when I really needed them. Thank you.
I am really happy I found your channel Frank. I have been stuck inside my mind for a long time and I've been dealing with obssessive thoughts that just seem to never go away. I do not feel in control over them. And what's worse is that I can't explain how it feels to the people close to me. But your videos make everything so clear and you explain the feelings so well. Thank you so much.
I hope you can see what a huge, positive impact you're having on people ! Thanks for sharing so much ! I see all the comments full of people trying to connect and you're facilitating that ! For so many people who don't feel connected, you're helping. I love watching the progression.
I come to frank's videos randomly when I'm dealing with something that's hard and i almost always find something useful❤
I wish I would have found you on the day you made this video. That month was one of the worst in my life. I'm so happy I found you, you really don't know how important you are and what you do. I appreciate you so very much I hope you keep making these videos!!!
someone said to me once "feel the pain until it hurts no more.." but this pain keeps coming back...
Its a sign you have to work through it more and uderstand it
This is a very important video for any generation. simple, honest, emotional and clever. thank you.
"It means I need to destroy all the relationships in my life." I can so relate to this. I think it's so important to hear these things (not holding onto pain, and not shaming it, etc.) from an INFJ perspective because when we (I) hear it from other types, it just feels like another "you don't understand me and what I'm going through/what I'm feeling" even though it is sound advice. Thank you for the tips and for sharing your perspective on painful thoughts/emotions. Very worth the watch! Keep it up! :)
I just subscribed a few days ago. I find your talks to be so interesting and I relate to most of it. As you know, as an INFJ, we can feel like no one understands us. I look forward to more. Have a wonderful day!
Just so you know- you are helping me. And I thank you for that. So appreciative! Informative, I’m reminded I’m not alone, and your sense of humor is the icing😂
I wish I had found this before, I've been trying to deny it and didn't realize it was even worse until now. I think I've ruined two close friendships because of this feelings in less than 6 months and I'm starting to lose it but your channel is really helping me out, Frank, thank you.
Frank, your videos are awesome. Almost everything you say in your videos resonate so much with me sometimes I have to turn you off and come back in a minute because I just need to sit and be thankful other people feel all this same feelings and have a lot of the same thoughts. I wish I knew you dude. Really.
Watch it. Watch the pain. Awesome concept!
My pain is the death of my boyfriend. I feel like a widow with my son, and it is definitely a process continuing to live and be continually changed by it as the days go on. Not defined by it, but changed.
Watch your pain. Your pain is something outside of you. It is a thing. It is there. And it's okay. And it can stay there with you.
When he's intuitive, sharp and discerning, it makes all the difference in the world.✨
Thank you Dr. Santiago!
Yeah, so I really needed this video today....
In the past, I have always closed myself off and ignored any type of intense, emotional pain. I don't really like the feeling of vulnerability and not being ok... I bottle things up.. and I did that with my last breakup. I knew I would have to come back to it and deal with the pain head on eventually, but it almost felt as though it was eating me alive and consuming me at the worst of times. Prolonging it made it feel so much worse than if I had just accepted it and handled it head on. I feel better having faced it, though.
Today, something else came up in my life and I know I need to allow the pain to run its course... but, once again, the fear of pain and vulnerability has me at a halt... it's almost as though I see myself at a crossroad. I either deal with it now and let it run through my system.... or I bottle it up and deal with it later because I have to be strong for so many other people that I dont have time to be weak.
I know nothing is as simple as finding out the solution to an issue, resolving it on your own, and having the magic to do it perfectly from then on... things take practice.... but I must say- I wish I had a little bit of that magic to make it easy now 😂
I have been going through the grief process for the past 2 years which includes pain, self awareness, meditation, discovery, rumination, anxiety, anger, resentment, acceptance, and gratitude for me. But it keeps mixing and changing daily, hourly even... I’m so glad I found you here. I am very much in pain and your words and your being is like a salve for me and makes my pain just a little more bearable. I think I’m going to meditate now and see what I find. Eckhart Tolle uses that method as well and I try to follow it but I forget and fall back into negative patterns. Thank you, Frank, for your beautiful insight. 💕
Grieving situations is very important I've learned. That space of grief I've really learned a sense of mental awakening and understanding, also knowledge , humbleness
You are exactly correct: Watch it & let it be.
Thank you Frank.
Pain is a constant part of my life. But i feel like i can deal with it better now compared to years ago, of course thanks to people like yourself.💓💪
How could i found your channel just now? You have briliant mind, i can relate with your experiences and understand them clearly. I saw the other video about the evil loop, and for my case i release my pain after accidentally cried it out in front of someone who supported me at that time, which actually i think not really my inner circle. The strange thing is, somehow in my mind i felt embarrased but the real me at that time didn't feel it at all but grateful finnaly someone noticed
Guess what, congrats you've got a new fan
thanks, man!
This is the realest most helpful thing...
You're amazing..
I'm grateful I found your channel!
Extroverting your thoughts on emotion. Love it. Thank you from an INTJ.
Ive been dealing with a breakup and im an INFJ. Thanks for your videos, they really are helping me get through this tough time.
I just wanted to say I came back to this a few times now when I felt really bad, so thank you it helps me grounding and somehow it helps me feel better idk. Thank you.
I just found u today and I subbed. I relate to on a huge level. I like you and ur sensitively and think Exactly like me. I’m being very sincere. I hope u can believe that. God bless you. Our INFJ lives are difficult. I actually hate being INFJ.
Lara O'neal I hate being infj too. I have dealt with pain and depression my whole life. This is so inspirational!
Stephen Lawson God bless you. I get it.
I used to hate myself, because I didn't understand myself. Now I see that I'm just different. And in my heart of hearts I know that we have a gift (a curse if not used properly, yes), but a gift. I would say we see a world that not many people see, but really we feel a world not many people get too feel. And I believe that even though 99% of the population won't see things our way, we still need to be us and share that gift with the world. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm just crazy.
@@brandiehoven4413, I feel the hate and I feel the love for INFJ. It is a gift for the world, which is hard to change and stand up against. But we are wise.
The more intense the pain, the bigger the lesson. The worst is when you've been through that lesson before but have drifted back into your former way and now it comes back on you even harder. So you beat yourself up with "I should have known better. When will I ever learn?" But when you really get knocked on your a$$ so hard you bounce, you can take comfort in the fact that you very probably will never forget the lesson this time.
It helped a lot now, to stop feeding a pain that just blowed up after suppressing it for months. Thank u
I think you are amazing as you are) and yea I feel not so good cause there is war in my country and I am Ukrainian. I have depression and anxiety, dissosioation thing etc but I find a lot of joy in your channel and I'm thankful for that😊
hi FJ, i love your videos and this one is great - very happy to see that you have started to trim your finger nails in your more recent videos
It's funny, even though I know you're only looking at the camera it really feels like you're looking at and paying attention to me, the audience! Must be that intimate INFJ stare. 👀
P.S. -- I'm glad you're over your inner turmoil.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts
As I sit here shut down from something that happened yesterday, in my bed, hanging with the dog, not wanting to be in the world I appreciate this video. Still amazes me how I LET a very critical, negative boss allow me to be in this place. I will keep working on it.
This video gives permission to be whatever and it is good and this is healthy for INFJ/ INTP/ INTJ especially!
Can also be termed as ridding yourself of internal resistance just by allowing it to pass through you, if you're into LOA. Something I think a lot of INFJs can benefit from getting into. What you resist persists, and what you dwell in you create more of in the present. So if you can, take the third course of action and allow it to pass through you from an observational standpoint. Just like a kid that's angry or crying, if you sit down and face them and give them your attention, you'll notice they ease up and realize it was nothing. It's like your inner child will do that too, so you can choose to sit patiently and face that conflict or pain inside of you, allowing it to say what it has to say (without feeding it or immersing yourself) - you can even tell yourself that out loud like you're sitting down with an upset kid. You'll notice that very shortly it just fades into nothing, as it was only inflated cause you tried to push it away/ignore it.
I agree with your conclusion. Acceptance is the way to go. It takes courage, but the more I accept stuff, the more I can overcome. Everything is going to be ok.
Jori Church , I agree. Acceptance is good...as long as it is something that is acceptable. HOWEVER, as a true INFJ, there are things that are NOT acceptable and I won't ever accept those things. Accepting the unacceptable would be akin to discarding my principles, standards, beliefs, ethics, integrity, etc and that is something I cannot do.
You make me realize I exactly done the same thing, before watching the video.
After breakup, I though my depression and anxiety will stay for a long time, but depression left faster than I expected. For my anxiety, I think I was able to find the causes of this.
I found one of them which were unconscious, after having resolving itself. After done the 2nd Covid Vaccine, my morning wake up anxiety was very lower. Seems one of the causes of my anxiety was the fear to be sick of this virus.
As you said in one of your other video, the solutions to go into deep the pain as we do/done it, and not to escape/dodge/ignore as my mother do for example.
I know she is not well in her mind, but herself maybe doesn’t know, she doesn’t want to face her mental pain (I think she is ISTJ).
Any days ago, I sent her my postmail my 7 pages letters about my life, my childhood, my way of thinking, myself...
In order to help her, teach her, make her realizes It’s ok and normal to feel this, It’s ok to feel pain and process it.
Seems, we are not just good to observe, analyse, see the details, connecting the dots outside on the concrete world. But also inside, and be able to link/connect the both side.
All can surely do, but INFJ we maybe have more facility to do it. To go deep inside.
I would say that works for everything except grief. I mean, you can get to a place where you have to stop leaning into it, but depending on the loss, it can take years for some of us. The pain of loss of my father was so overwhelming, that it took almost 7 years before I could mention his name without breaking down. But pain of relationships, or other things like pain of loneliness, or striving for something, I think what you said is right. It's a lot like meditation. These thoughts want to come into your head, and instead of pushing them away, you just observe them and they float by like clouds....I know this is a way old video, but if it comes on my feed and looks interesting, I watch. Sorry🙂✌
When he said it’s to feed your ego that shit gutted me man, all my life people have made it a point to be my friend, say I’m a good listener, speaker, all the above in terms of communication. Anyhow, point being is I know I’ve had a rough life but it shouldn’t feed my emotions or thoughts correlating what it is that needs to be done and received in order for me to feed my happiness and such eustress I should only be acknowledging in the very occurring moment. Man if we met you’d be my best friend 🤣 #accountabilityiskey
I was thinking about going to therapy but just watching your channel helped a great deal and I honestly doubt that someone else could understand my struggles so well as you do. Thank you.
thank you for sharing, inspirational
I think the solution you present is a good one! Within the last 5 years there have been so much research done and results shared. At one time it was asserted that while in the womb, the growing baby is subjected to all the feelings, tastes, experiences, including music that the mother is living through. 9 months is a significant amount of time. Even, let's say, the totally bogus soap operas she watches on tv during her pregnancy. As the baby inside her, you are absorbing her emotional responses, they are not connected to real life. You never see what is really going on, yet you feel it. And your body reacts to it.
Fast forward in your life, you are having all these feelings that are upsetting. Seemingly unconneted to your life. And it is because they are completely not part of your real life, it might have been from some soap operas your mom watched once upon a long time ago that she barely remembers if at all!
Just sit with it, acknowledge and let go would be really appropriate. Not even important.
This is gold.
Thank you frank
I am amazed at how much I can relate to everything you are saying. You are so in touch with yourself.. It's refreshing. Thank you for being you. ❤️
I just found this recent video you made after I commented on your last one that you need to come back. I guess I should follow your channel more closely... thank you for making your videos! I appreciate them so much! And I guess "come back" could be up for metaphysical interpretation. Tell your higher self to come back into your life so that you can develop your beautiful soul. You have so much to offer people I can see you being a life coach.. or a "good" cult leader.
It’s good to have an immediate go to thought for when you notice you’re having obsessive thoughts
i deal with depression inthe same way, watch it, feel it, it will be over and the truth will present itself
Thank you so much. I’ve been struggling lately and this watching this video really helped me. You’re awesome dude!
Totally agree & relate. Humans do primarily learn/grow through Pain & Insight. And the inner-journey to step-out of the Ego to better understand things is sooo Key to really getting to the root of the matter.
YOU'VE demonstrated/expressed that BEAUTIFULLY. And in real-time. Thank you! We Love You for that. And yes, watch out for those boogers. 😜
Pain helps the ego feel distinct ... So true.
question: have you studied this kind of stuff? How do you know so much about it ? And you are spot on! It's incredible
Hi Frank, I don´t normally comment on videos, but I´ve been watching your videos and you´ve really given me some insight into my own brain :D...I thank you for that and in return, I would like to help you as well...I know that this video is old and not relevant anymore and you probably won´t even see this comment but I can´t help myself from writing it. I see myself a lot in the way you are thinking and processing stuff, I was struggling with really difficult depression for a couple of years and crazy anxiety my whole life. I thought I was never good enough, that I was not doing what I was supposed to do, that I was a failure and I had this void inside that I was trying to fill. Sure, some of the stuff can be caused by my personality type, but let me tell you, everyone has this void inside of them, everyone is trying to figure their place and purpose in life, we were created by God like this so that we are never satisfied without Him. When all I wanted was to die and I didn´t know what to do anymore I finally asked God to help me. Long story short, he healed me from depression, recently from anxiety as well, I encountered him as well, basically, his power knocked me down and I couldn't move for quite some time and He showed me how much He loves me. Words cannot describe His love for us and he loves you like that as well, He send his son to die only for you! That´s crazy man. As I said I normally don´t comment but I experienced something that I want to share because it breaks my heart seeing people go through what I was going through when they don´t have to. From your content, I don´t think that you are a believer and you probably think I´m crazy but you seem to me like someone who wants to know the truth. So you may take this as a challenge, try to seek God, ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you. If he doesn´t exist you have nothing to lose, but if He does, you have everything to gain. PS: I´m really not some religious fanatic :D...just a young girl studying French whose life was transformed radically by Jesus Christ...hope you find the truth one day :)..another PS: I don´t even know if it makes sense, English is not my first language + I cannot write coherent sentences. Ok, done with my rent, bye :D
Update: I just watched your video where you explain why you gave up trying to come out of your shell and it blew my mind how much I felt the same way before I gave my life to Jesus. I was and still am a loner but I hated it before!...I also wanted to find my salvation in other people, stuff, prospects in the future, etc., but I found it all superficial and meaningless...now, I am still a loner but I don´t mind anymore. I found my identity in Christ as His beloved child. You said you were looking into some spiritual stuff, I don´t know what you meant exactly, but many people when they are trying the meaning of life, they don´t even consider Christianity, probably because the society makes it seem like something that it´s really not but in fact, it is the only true way to salvation. I don´t know how are you doing today with your search for the truth and as I said, I hope you find it :) and trust me, there is more to this life than it seems!
Thank you...
Asked you for help thanks for giving it...even if you did post this year's ago.
I recently went through a paranoid and resentful phase. It was building up and there were lots of contributing internal and external factors. But now I just have to not dwell on it and just, in a way, step back from it, and let it disappear. A lot of anxiety around the people I work with has disappeared as well, and that was one of the many factors involved in this emotional toil that I had.
I have been going through the same thing for the past couple of weeks. At first I thought it was because of the toxic people I have to deal with at work. Then it dawned on me that it is up to me to break the loop of negativity. There is pain in life. I need to learn to let go and be mindful and stay in the present.
I can understand where you are coming from a few days ago i was the lowest in my life and i can only remember that my friend running for me to stop me doing something dumb and butting hes arms around me and i only cried while he craspes me and that was the biggest cense of being freed from inner pain what I had dealth for over many many years
Thanks for input - best wishes for new year brother.
you saved me. thank you
Thank you frank. You really help me, I can't verbalize what's going on in my head and it causes problems. Your awesome bro. Ty for messaging me
Watch it... Feel it... Yeah... I'm here in that process of breaking the loop...its taking time
And I'm being patient with this cursive intensity of feelings... Some moments it gets calm and then again I remember an incident and clarity comes.. With pain, with realisation.. And truth...
I really needed to hear this right now. Thank you 🙏🏼
This was an amazing video! Thank you for explaining things so clearly
thank you. I needed this. more videos please :)
Thanks
Here to say thank you. I’m always sitting too long with every feeling
I'm a feeder. For me, just being able to talk it out with someone you value definitely helps. It's especially therapuetic for me if you can express yourself to the cause of the pain. But I understand that's not always an option. Gonna try to be a watcher moving forward.
James Soroe lol
I saw the title for this video Yesterday and thought watching would make me feel a little sad. I've had a great day (to some extent). But I knew I was going to watch it today. Here I am.. I was right (coz some real shit happen to me if no one understand) .. but I am glad I've watched it today. I feel way better than before.. It's feel like someone knows my Pain without the disturb feeling of someone else knows the deeper side of me (What the hell I am talking about).
Also, It's odd to me that you shave your beard but forget to cut your nail.. Sure, unless it was done attentionally 🤔
Anyway, great video.
Sounds like "radical acceptance" from DBT. Thank you for your videos.
Lets take it further.
It reminds me of the song...The first cut is the deepest.
When I was a young girl I had to have an operation.
Midway through the surgery I woke up because the anesthesia didn't work.
It took six men to hold me down.
They knocked me out again to finish the surgery not realizing that they had not closed a major artery and I was bleeding out.
They had to rush me back to the operating room for another seven hours of surgery.
I was a child!
The hospital covered up their mistake and my records got lost.
When I go under anesthesia, I still feel everything.
One example of pain in my life with no recourse because of Cover-ups.
I have also coded at least three times so I know what being dead is and who God and angels are and why I am still here.
Thank you so much.. Very less things in this world help me cope with myself and your videos have the major part in it. Please keep making these videos. And if you have an Instagram account, please let me know. Thanks
good advice!
i have had obsessive thoughts for a very long time , this gave me a huge relief, thanks
do you ever think about engaging the pain? i do not mean to feed it. i mean to say "Okay, i see you, and see you are willing to hurt me to get me to notice *something*.... so what is it?" just like a child who if it does not get the kind of attention it wants will go right ahead and seek 'bad' attention. i will say to my friends (all 2 of them) that "i have been sitting and having tea and crumpets with this issue/pain". more often than not it really is trying to tell you something that maybe you have not wanted to deal with at the moment. Carl Jung's approach to paying close attention to what your dreams (subconscious) are telling you about your inner world, and his work with Archetypes have helped me tremendously, in being able to do this. just watching it is fine... it is already a much more effective thing to do than anything else. but if you only watch it, you may miss out on what it wants to tell you. i always loved Billie Holiday singing "Good morning Heartache" as it encapsulates it reallly well. especially when in the end she just offers it a seat....like 'okay, you aren't going away so sit down, tell me what you want to say.'
I go through the rumination thought cycle as well when I get into a depression