Having househelps in Nigeria: Sharing my real thoughts and experience...
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
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When I lived in Abu Dhabi there were always stories about house help being abused. I had help but they didn’t live with me. They would come, clean, and then go. I was single back then. Now that I’m married and have a family…I would keep that setup for the house help to come and then leave. Having too many people in the house (who aren’t immediate family) will cause friction.
Your perspective is refreshing....the reality is that there are bad employers (madams) and bad employees (domestic staff)
"Don't come and steal from my house as you are leaving.. ".. that reminded me of Nzeville's phone thief.
Well said. Excellent points. Completely off the topic, your eyebrows are literally the perfect shape.💕
You really said it all. Thank you for sharing this is good so that people will know there place. You really made the madam and the Nanny to understand their relationship and their levels.
That wastefulness thing is one ofthe reasons i said i no do again after my last help left again its almost 6 months since she stopped working and every day after doing my chores i keep asking myself what again was xx doing in my house that made her squeeze her face all the time like she is dying from pressure of work especially during the time she left she almost gave me bp from worrying about her well being anyway i live alone with my daughter in a 2 bedroom flat and right now we doing so well without any help and i am loving it.i am simply saying i agree with all your submissions
Thank you for always being real about this things. This video was helpful
What you said about them staying with the bad employees is true!
Lol! Just like ladies in relationships, choosing to stay in a toxic one just because they feel there’s no good out there. Then some of those in good ones, actually act anyhow sometimes. Lol!
You gorrit! 🤣🤣🤣
Perfectly said Ma'am 🙌🏾 .. "coming to equity with clean hands 👐🏾 is the guide.
If we the madam and the nannies should publish a book that means the bookshop will fill and no space because it is voluminous. A lot of things goes behind the scene that is talked about. But my 2 cent is that I can’t have a small child as a nanny or help because some adults can’t control their anger when they want to discipline.
Mehnnn good help is rare, my last help stayed 4years and if I had my way I would have did magic for her to stay but once their mind is made up then it’s better to let them go.
I can't relate to being on either side but this was informative and great to learn.
This applies to Salesgirl
Most of them are never satisfied
You are very right Ma…all the househelps we had while growing up were treated well but will still want to go. They prefer where they will suffer and be maltreated 😢. It’s so sad.
The best we had so far basically woke up one morning and said she wanted to go back home. I felt they used jazz on her…And the stories they themselves share with us the children is wild😬
I'm second here. Ada how are you and the family. You look stunning, dear 😘
Thank you🥰
Good video, l can relate.
People's opinions are not important. Do to others as you would have them do to you 🙏
Thank you,as simple as that.
That is my golden rule; do unto others as you would want them do unto you
I totally agree with what you say, but ive noticed there is a very nasty behaviour of nigerians taking in minors as househelps, or "helpers" or someone that can keep me company or an adopted child without proper documentation, and thats the issue that brings about all this misunderstanding . Why dont uou just employ a grown up and treat them like an employee. Kindly, respectfully, have boundaries, pay them on time, let them know you are the boss, give them the leave that they are acccorded to them. Asking from kenya. For me i think you people just dip yourselves into fire when its clearly avoidable
True. There is lack of proper regulations in that industry.
I agree. And I think a lot of these issues stem from lack of regulations and having house helps live with employers. Let’s be real, a lot of the ones that are so called adopted are not adopted with good intentions. A lot of employers want to save money under the guise of “adopting” a child to help them around the house, not because they truly want a better life for them.
Joymtenzi2646, well said, they abuse these children for slave labor and then complain.
@AdaezesSpace it's a family to family thing so there isn't any need for any documentation. Besides I disagree with the Kenyan calling it a nasty behavior because you don't understand the process,do your research than using avoidable words
@@jackiereacts7201please o, don't adopt any child. Besides, this video is about adult maid. The boundaries still apply. Infact giving them accommodation is risky. Give them their salary and holiday and that's it
@Adaeze's space tyank tou so much for this. The thing is really if havent had a help tou might not be able to relate most of the time because some of them are just somethinh else
And yes i get the fact that they are not your children so you might have to see that and kbow that a lot of the things they will do will be what you may not like. But also its abnoying to correct for tge same thing again and again. Very disgusting
I once had one who brought her family and hid them in my house 😢 the sister was even going to school from my house and because i didn't visit the room she stays they were able to be there for months 😂😂😂😂😂 others steal my hse shopping and ferry to their home 😅😅😅another one locked me out coz i came back late didn't want to be disturbed
You re on point there stay were there re treated badly.
Such facts relating it to a PA
You couldn't have said it better.
My dear sis when I took care of my niece heeeeee and now I'm her worst enemy...yet Iraised her as my own but today she even blocked me but it is well ooo...
You spoke the truth.
When i saw those comments about bringing them with you to the UK, i was wondering if those people are actually ok and understand the process. Mtcheww
Facts Adaeze 👏👏 my parents house dem no born me well sef to eat a different thing from what my parents cooked,who do you think you are to even utter it to your parents 😅😅
You are looking absolutely gorgeous ❤great discussion 👍 😊
Wow, thank you!
Beautiful momma of 3
Oh, the guilt trip was real. No one talks about that part, especially when you are not the villain. When their family comes to beg, my parents allow them back, and shit hits the fan worse than before. Omo, I don’t know how my parents did it multiple times, I for close shop since😂 I 💯 agree with this video because I have experienced a lot of dynamics of them in rotation. I am almost triggered by this video because ah, my mama don suffer for some of their hands. And a lot were not relatives o. Just helping someone’s child from the hometown. All, if not most went to private school as us, the children. My dad was abroad then, so any things he gets us, he gets for them AND THEIR FAMIly. Ah, the one that did me dirty and framed me, chai, I won’t forget. My folks NEVER HIT them, instead calls their family to let them sort the person out and if they still are misbehaving, my folks first calls a family meeting to address the problem and give the option to change and stay or simply leave. Our house is the house people from the hometown usually choose because they hear of the good my folks did. So when they give choice to select among my folks or my folks siblings, most likely ours 😅 and we never took underage children, instead, they just pay for their school items/fees while they stayed with their parents, only 16 and above I remember cos some were in older classes in the same school i or my cousin went to. And we had paid staff in the house, so chores was shared among us. If we misbehaved, my aunts or uncle would hit us and not them. That was the one rule my folks had in the house, so they got away with a lot of shit. Ah, I am done, was slightly triggered by some of the comments. 🤔
Nice video❤❤
Wow so true
And I have work with different people but they didn't work so everybody have that right person that you are meant to work with isn't everybody that come your way you will work with that is it
8:52 you couldn't have said it better and even if they came from a horrible place they still won't be grateful
The last part of this video, is everything. I don't think the grateful ones reach 2 o 😅😂 evenif u want to kill urself for them,majority go shock u with what they will say about u when they leave Ur house. But at the end, the truth will play out.
I love this lady😂. Do whatever you want to do for your help without expecting anything in return. Do things because they are the right things to do.
BTW, that your previous video on helps really helped me in selecting the help whom I have lived with for a year + now. I asked the right questions. She is not perfect, I am not perfect, but we are navigating life so far.
Nice 👍
They’re more wicked to them so much that I cry so much watching them, most of times I just pray for them that God should open door for them.GOD IS LOVE THEY SHOULD SHOW THEM LOVE
🎉🎉
Okay please I can for sure I have work with my boss for about year now and let me tell you the true she is the best human in the world we lost her during the covid-19 as right now I'm still working thank you for your understanding that some madams are very wicked
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Hi Adaeze. I get you points and believe you’re the voice of reason but I have to disagree with some things. Firstly, Chinyere considered the girl that was staying with her as a child. Once you adopt a child as your own, you have to treat them the same. Would she have said good riddance and posted a video of her biological child leaving? A lot of things she was saying were conflicting. Was she adopted as her child or a house help? Also, we get that these house helps are not perfect, but the viewers don’t need detailed information about what they did, especially if we’ve seen them in vlogs. Would we be happy if our employers spoke bad about us on social media? What I’m saying is that they’re young and will eventually grow up and learn. It would be sad for them to change one day but still have a video of their employers bad mouthing them on social media. It might also affect their employability
Sometimes, l feel like our people don’t understand what adoption/guardianship means. The girl lived with her since she was a child. That’s practically her daughter. I honestly feel like she was used under the guise of adoption.
Fair enough. But some youtubers share a lot about their lives, including that of their own children. The good, the bad, the ugly. So, the outrage can be a bit hypocritical, especially if you enjoy such content generally. There are certain things I personally don't share like intimate details about my marriage or grief. But this is normal content for a lot of people and people are generally OK with it. It's OK to tell the content creator not to post certain things, but making all sorts of assumptions about them is not OK.
But anyway, the main aim of my video is to speak generally about people's misconceptions about the househelp situation in Nigeria.
@jackiereacts7201 how did she use her? @ChinyereAbang has live our nanny that comes to work. Even her biological children do house chores.let call a spade. Most of this girl's has attitude.
@@lola_and_family Any instance where a child is being asked to live and help someone in exchange for school and food is taking advantage of the child’s situation whether they’re treated well or not. She has not always had a nanny come to the house. Years ago, she took Monica in to help in exchange for her basic needs, which can be classified as exploitation, even if she was assigned child appropriate chore or her circumstances were better. The point is that she didn’t “adopt” her with the right intentions. Children should not in any circumstances work in exchange for anything that should be provided for them. I don’t blame Chinyere; I blame our leaders who don’t provide enough opportunities for people so they won’t have to sell their children out for food.
@jackiereacts7201. Well said. It's almost like slavery....
A lot of these madams are wicked ! Especially the ones that claim to be Christians . They don’t pay their workers a reasonable wage but overwork them and then they wonder why these househelp behave how they do
Leave Christianity out of your bitter heart
Those people are the most wasteful set of humans? Like I’m always shocked. How do you trash things still useful. I’d had a help who trashed a new set of cleaning machine I bought simply because I wasn’t using it. In her words, she thought I would never use them again 🤦🏻♀️
Theyre pro in trashing leftover food
I think because a lot of those who comment never even have house help I agree with u If they're kids treat them like a child
Hmmm. They want to have their cake and eat it.
Adaeze, ask yourself this question could she go to the UK and break the law employing child labor. She had that child doing slave labor, cleaning her children and her house.
Beautiful video.
I love how you balance the narrative: there are good "madams" and bad "madams".
Remembering that these children and young adults have been exposed to a different kind of nurturing before coming to your home explains alot of things. Sometines they are come with all kinds of hurts, trauma and abuse that they misinterpret good and kind acts . Its almost like you cant love them enough and be kind enough.
But i believe that even in those kinds of cases , your kind acts to them is like a seed planted in them. Hopefully, God will cause those seeds to grow.
I understand that many times especially for the younger ones ,they may miss their parents and families. But believe me, alot of times, as they are leaving one home, they are being posted to another home. They really dont get to stay with their own families.