Mad respect for the pivotal choice you made. Most men would've walked away. You can truly look yourself in the mirror and know that you did the right thing.
I went through an experience a little different than johns. Got a girl pregnant at 17 yo, was told by her parents that I could walk away and they would raise the baby. I felt the need to maintain a bond with the child and agreed to marry, ( my daughter was born on my birthday, we are 18 years to the day apart). I worked a full time job though high-school , between school and work I was mentally and fiscally drained. I graduated half a year early so that I could get a job in a steel mill and support the family. I knew that the girl I married had some issues, (she was a pathological lier) and would make up lies about things that nobody really cared about just for attention. Things seemed to go good for a while, but I found out that as soon as I would go to work she would drop the kid off with her mother and hang out with her girlfriends. On the day of her 18th birthday (legal drinking age) she wanted to go out with her friends, I had to work and couldn't get out of it as I was a probationary employee, so she went out drinking with her friends. The next day she told me that she wanted an open marriage. Of course I was devastated, but told her that I couldn't agree with that and if she wanted to go down that path she would have to get a divorce, I also told her that if she filed there would be no turning back. She filed and we split up. Three months later she wanted to get back together, evidently whoever she was seeing dumped her, and now she is saying that she is pregnant with my child, I asked if it was possible for the child to be someone elses, but she said that I was the only possible father, (DNA, test weren't available yet). A few weeks later one of her girlfriends told my sister that the child was not mine, and that my "wife" was sleeping with a guy that the girlfriend knew. When I told this to my attorney, I was told that because we were legally married at the time of conception that I would be responsible for the baby. I felt horribly betrayed, I knew her to be a lousy mother and convinced her to put the baby up for adoption .I told her she could move back in with me provided the kid got adopted out and we finalized the divorce. I realized right away that knowing that she had cheated on me made her fiscally dicussting to me. We split up as soon as the divorce was finalized and the kid was adopted out. She ended up hooking up with an old buddy of mine (they met after we were divorced). They seemed to be doing ok together, but next thing I heard, she married someone else. They were married only about 6 months then divorced. (I heard that she had cheated). Six months after that she's back with my buddy, about a year later they get married. My ex tries to get me to give up my parental rights because they want to move out of state, where here new husband has gotten a job. I refuse and strike a deal with her, I will continue sending the support checks and she will not try to raise my support, and I will still see my daughter although I know it won't be as often, I wanted my daughter to know that I cared about her, and that I was here if she needed me. Now that she is an adult we have become much closeer, she has given me 3 grandkids and I am proud of the woman she has become. Her mother and her haven't spoken much in the last 20 years and my ex has not even met the grandkids. My daughter refers to her as a psychopath. My ex is now divorced for the 3rd time, and has problems with substance abuse and a criminal record. The kid that was given up for adoption came looking for me, because he was told I was his biological father, we have a relationship even though DNA has proven that we're not related. (I figure at the very least he's my daughter's half brother) . He also has nothing to do with his biological mother. My life has gone well, married 45 years to a sweetheart, couple of kids both with families. Now at 67 retired, healthy and always busy.
What a story. I am glad that you followed your heart. You're a good man. It's glad that your son recognizes your dedication to his well-being and future. Thank you.
@@john-griffin family court + daily life where you as a man are just a plough horse to provide yet unable to be appreciated and even ask for anything in return to some extent
@@john-griffin "Almost" like a totalitarian world? John, please. Our legal system is setup like this for the reason (that's actually good) so that proceedings can move forward somewhat expeditiously and without endless appeals during the stages prior to final decisions. (Think about that Wyoming judge and the writ of certiori) You can appeal some things during the process that pertain to established case law and constitutionality but for the most part, you've got to offer objections in real time on the record that you can use later as a basis for appeal. The real issue is the cost of an appeal. I was recently quoted $450/hour and $5000 to get started on a custody issue for my 7 year old. (Non appellate case) And John, I work with skilled surgeons who don't make that much. Misery don't love company the way it loves money.
I had 2 daughters as a single father I raised on my own. Totally similar story, 1 daughter is a nurse and other daughter manager with Amazon both with bachelor degrees I paid for and made them independent women, they are both married but have total ability to live on there own, they are both well off. I am so proud I was not that guy to walk away. I am so proud of both of them
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm 44 years old, have a 12 year old son, your story and mine share many similarities. Hooked up with my lesbian "best friend", she left to see her family in another state, got a call a few weeks later her telling me she was pregnant. I made it a point to be in his life despite her refusal. Got a paternity test. It's been a wonderful experience for my son and I yet hell between his mother and I. I've done my best despite the circumstances living the best life I could while supporting him and her. 2 months ago she attacked me, got her arrested, someone bailed her out and now facing the final battle between her and I getting full custody so I can give him the stability he needs to make it to adulthood in the way I promised him as a baby. Along with this recently found out I am getting laid off soon and towards the end of your video I started crying buckets of tears. Thank you again for sharing your story. I needed to hear it this morning.
I caught her in my hands coming out of her mother, after which Mommy Dearest went into a post-partum depression of four years. But I was the happiest dad in the world for at least the first two of those years. We almost had the two-state custody battle when she was two years old, but lacking a job, mommy decided to stay with me. With joint custody after divorce, the custody battle came ten years later, trying to take my daughter out of state to be near her family, which I strongly suspected had a history of abuse. You lucked out, and deserve all the praise. Succeeding at fatherhood is the greatest pleasure in life. But parenthood ain't all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes a daughter ends up becoming more like her mother at adulthood. 'Nuff said.
Inspiring story of being a real man and owning up to actions and consequences. And, you took this kid and helped him become a good man. This situation could happen to any guy.
Thank you for sharing. I'm a young single dad myself. I'm fortunate to have about 40% custody. Trying to do right by my kid and believe all the hard work will be worth it in the end.
It is worth it. My kids are mostly grown, 34,24, and 20. I love hanging out with them and I love helping then with the challenges they face in life. Thanks
When I was a kid, there was a show called the courtship of Eddie’s father. And it was one of my favorite shows. It was the story of a father raising a boy alone. I sometimes wonder if subconsciously I internalized that television show and then manifested it in my own life in someway. Who knows
In the Western marriage contract, it's said that men are strictly held to their traditional provider duties, while women are able to avoid many of the traditional wife responsibilities during the marriage. However, this has been the agreement from the start! Women are fully aware of the current terms and follow them, often planning for divorce before the wedding. The problem for men is that they either choose to ignore the reality of the contract, hoping they'll be among the 3% who avoid its consequences, or they are out of touch with female nature and current family law.
Thats a wild story, man! Props to you on handling a tough situation the best you could. Much respect to you. I have a similar story having to deal with my sons mother. All In the past now. But what a nightmare.
Thanks for sharing. I have a similar story, my son, who I raised, is now 35 and married. I like to say we “grew up” together. My son also comes and thanks me too
@@john-griffin so true! Thank you so much for sharing and your channel. The late 1980s… was an exceptional period of growth. My message to you. YOU make a difference
You're a good man, John. Glad you were able to get custody of your son. I'm sure he's been a delight to raise. I love own my son and daughter dearly and would do anything to protect them.
John, there are a lot of lessons in this story and I would guess you didn't have much time and guidance with your father growing up; however, the most poingnant lesson that many of us have experienced in this story is that judges do not care about the children. Their rulings indicate that they primarily care about the mother. If their ruling causes a child to perish, it is no skin off their back because they have absolute immunity in their courtroom and they probably wouldn't hear about it anyway because, at that point, the issue typically would move to criminal court. I am glad you fought for your son. Your intrinsic father/protector role kicked in and helped to make you the man you are today and saved your son's life or at the very least prevented him from being lost and destitute.
I agree with you about that judge in Wyoming. He took her word for it without hearing from me at all and made a non-decision that was actually a decision that literally put my son’s life in jeopardy. Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate it.
Character. Men who are both successful and good ALWAYS own their outcomes. It’s usually more difficult in the short run, but almost always better in the long run. It can feel overwhelming, and thus the support of family and friends can be instrumental. The advice you received from your father and friends, telling you to walk away, is indicative of weak, selfish men. Congratulations for being a solid guy, even though it was difficult, John.
A couple comments I wanted to share: 1. Although I'm in OH not VA, your beautiful walking trail is suspiciously similar to my daily walking trail (complete with deer and river). 2. Your story made me think about the relationship I have with my grown kids. After my divorce, I found my purpose in life to be a rock of support for my kids. I am their safety net, I have set myself up to provide them life advice, financial support, and even housing when/if they need it. Your story made me realize my ex-wife can only provide them love. That's fine, but as a parent she can't even afford an apt of her own let alone a home with rooms for the kids as they may come back when life gets the best of them. How sad it must be to be a parent incapable of providing for your children. Something about becoming a parent really helped me by focusing my life to one centered around helping my children succeed. Thank you for sharing!
We are exactly the same. My wife cannot provide anything for our kids. I have money and 4 extra bedrooms. Love is a verb. It’s what we do that matters.
Much respect! If only more men would fight for custody of their children with such passion and push back against this corrupted, gynocentric, joke of a system.
You sure have some great stories! Guys, when you get out of a hostile relationship, don't go picking up another trash woman to make yourself feel better. There are endless single Moms with red flags; leave them on the streets. The sex is not worth it!
I would have fought for my four childrens' custody, except I was the breadwinner and my job made it just more rational for my ex to have custody. And she was a good mom. But I got them every weekend for four years, until I was forced to move out-of-state for work. I missed them so much. But we seem to have a good relationship now, 16 years later.
Subscribed. Similar story when my monkey was born. God I love her! Where I am, child court judges' pensions are paid, at least partially, from revenues in support payments. Of course, we all know who these payments come from.
@@john-griffin Same, my son and I are super close. His mom is a mess. My son is a class-act guy and is starting law school next year. Sons need their dads to fight for them. Your story was inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
Most guy would have walked away given the chance and a situation like that. Good for you doing the right thing and taking responsibility even though you had to really fight for it..
Glad it worked out for you and your son. Your videos are a great cautionary tale to young men. My story is a bit different but includes a divorce and a fight to get 50/50 custody here in VA. It seems like the courts are stacked against fathers. It’s strange how hard guys have to fight in these situations as compared to women.
My ex wife and I have 2 adopted and 2 biological children. During one of the adoptions legal process, our attorney made the off hand reference/comment- "Father from Hell" in referring to the child's biological father and his potential to derail the legal process by exercising his rights to the child. It would be years later that I learned of the family Court system and it's Amazonian levels of bias and corruption. My son is doing great today, stationed in Europe with the military. I'm proud that i was able raise him after the divorce. And that only happened by the conceptual virtue of his own "self determination". Not the family Court system awarding me anything but pain, misery and endless legal bills.
My goodness John..you’re quite the man with an interesting back story..😮 I truly hope after all of your life experiences that you have found some kind of settlement, peace, happiness and joy after coping with a series of challenges…sometimes, relationships even dalliances are simply not worth the time, if not carefully thought out and properly vetted..f### in haste and repent at leisure..you are definitely a very high value man who found himself caught out with trashy people 😢 hopefully you are taking care in future 👍
John Your A Good Man… Your Story Is Similar To Mine…Although Significantly Different…But I Enjoy Listening To Your Perspective Of The World… I Am Going Through A Divorce After 20 Years Of Marriage…Did Not See It Coming…Yet In Hindsight…I Should Have 3 Years Ago! I Am Struggling With My Four Children Adopted From Birth…& My STBX Is Strongly Fighting For Full Custody…I Want Some Custody…But Also Adopted Late In Life (I’m 64) & They Are 6, 7 13& 15 & Like You I Feel I Don’t Want To interact With Her…Yet I Also Struggle With Just Walking Away…Because I Do Love Them & Yet I Do Feel Strongly Responsible To Raise Them… I Strongly Believe Children Need Both A Mom & Dad…A Mother Can Try Her Best…But A Ballance Is Best!!! But A Part of Me Just Wants To Start A New Life….Ahhhhh…I Don’t Know If To Fight Expensive Attorney Battle…Or Say See Ya? Thank You Sincerely For Inspiring Me To Be The Man I Need To Be…!!! Take Care My Friend!!!!!
It is touching and interesting story and thanks for sharing it. I do have to ask what is the relationship like between your son and his mother ?...and half siblings she later had ?
It’s pretty minimal. They share phone numbers and he gets text messages from her from time to time and he does reply to them. She actually did spend some time in prison herself. I think she’s just grateful to have any relationship at all with him. He has largely forgiven her for a number of things that occurred after I got custody. She would make promises and not keep them about gifts and things like that, he has spoken to his siblings a few times, but their lives have moved away from their mother completely. I don’t know what caused them to be so angry with her, but they don’t talk to her at all anymore. I really don’t ask him very much about it anymore. He’s a grown man he can make his own decisions, he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Thanks for asking.
Honestly, you had some good luck in the process John. Thank god it turned out really well for you and for the kid but imagine if she didn’t have criminal records and if the trailer story didn’t happen. There’s no way in hell that you would’ve taken custody of that child unfortunately.. Great video !
Well John your story doesn't sound like much fun. Remember if your having too much fun something is wrong. 😅🤣🤣🤣 Well you didn't die. 😂🤣🤣🤣 You got your stuff sorted now so good for you. Keep up the great conversation. 😊
Thanks for sharing the story of your earlier lifes challenges. As the old preacher man used to say..." you got out during the week sowing your wild oats and then pray for a crop failure on the weekend""😄 Did you ever get a DNA test to confirm you ARE the baby daddy?
I dated a man who found out about his child FIVE YEARS after their breakup! And she didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with what she had done. So cruel. He missed five years of his child's life. And his family was a close-knit family so they were all upset about it.
Of course, the other moral to the story is don’t let yourself get a loser pregnant, even if you are a solid guy. Even at 24, you can have a little bit better control over that switch.
Amazing and very personal share John. I was taken aback for sure. Yet I see the usual "never have kids" comments. John had a very "bad selection" for a mother - as he was young and he never even thought of getting her pregnant and was just having shared fun. She turned out as bad as you be for a mom and yet John is obviously thrilled with having custody, is proud of himself and of his son, of the gratitude his son shows, of what he has contributed to. Don't you "anti-kids" people get it? Don't have kids if you don't want to, no problem here. But you go raving about never having kids as if it's a mantra, as if it's a great accomplishment or something. Ask most dads on here and elsewhere if they regret having kids or love it. I'd guess at least 70% are in that second option. Again, no one is forcing you to have kids or saying you should! But nope, it's nothing to celebrate either.
During my life, I’ve had to play many roles. I’ve been a husband, a brother, a son, a boss, an employee, a business owner. But the role that I cherish the most is that of being the father of my children. It gives me more happiness and deep satisfaction than anything else in my life, nothing else even comes close
@@john-griffin I comprehend fully and salute you, sir. To be fair, I think as men we have to be successful in many ways to fully appreciate any of the others, but indeed for deep satisfaction, nothing else even comes close. Yet we have many men on here reveling in the fact they never had kids as it's a great accomplishment, despite what you, I and so many dads say. You're not preaching to have some, neither am I, yet they feel the need to justify it to the world. It eerily mimics radical feminism, just the mirror image.
the moment when you realize youre married to a pathological liar with all sorts of control issues on the top is quite something. To the defence of the young me who didnt know that much about red flags - sometimes they are hidden truly that deep, that you just cant know any better until she decides to drop the act.
Dude, towards the end, expecting her to take accountability. . . well, take another hit of hopium. Accountability is wahman's Kryptonite. Maybe read Esther Vilar's 'The Manipulated Man, 1974, heavily suppressed paperback.
"I know it couldn't be anyone else's child because she was with me all the time"........🤔 Bro this is not exactly a 'scientific method' of determining its your child. I know women (even innocent ones) who had so many partners they cant even narrow it down to less than four dudes. You may have spent all of YOUR time with her but that doesn't mean it was all of HER time. No substitute for a paternity test!
Your story would make a compelling movie on the big screen. Unfortunately, many of the people and places would likely have to be changed to please everyone (and by everyone I guess I'm talking about the woke crowd) and in the end the story would barely be recognizable.
You’re probably right. A white man taking a baby, young woman probably isn’t very compelling. That’s OK, my son enjoys the story. It turned out really well for him.
I did not, because it’s very difficult to challenge paternity while you’re also filing for custody. It gives mixed messages to the court, and then it can seem like I am not committed to the child.
There’s a whole scandal associated with the nanny industry. It often is the place where young women who have gotten into big trouble go to hide and get out of town. There’s a lot of money in it for the nanny companies. I’m sure my friends and clients who hired her probably were shopping for low prices and that’s how they found An offbrand company to hire her. But that’s a very good point.
Family law judges are omnipotent...and nothing else matters. They will do what ever they want, and 9 out 10 times the father loses, and so do his children. My ex wife had sex right on the livingroom floor with her co worker. My boys told me they saw that, court did nothing. The husband at the baby sitter had an 8 year old girl take her blouse in front of him while everyone else was out side including his wife. My son caught him. I reported that to the court thru my attorney...the court did nothing. However, the police had no problem telling me I was now trespassed from the baby sitters property....where my children were.
Yes, and they have an enormous amount of discretion. Really it’s just a matter of opinion and a lot of cases. It’s a judge likes you. You’re good to go. The judge doesn’t like you. You’re screwed. Women do a great job of being very sympathetic characters in court. it sounds like you really went through hell though
In areas where they have more liberal judicial systems it is much more likely these days to get 50-50 custody. The possibility of a man getting custody is actually much higher than you would think. All the man has to show is that the children would be better off in his home than in hers. You do have to plan your strategy carefully and you will need a lot of evidence to back up your claims. But it is possible.
Mad respect for the pivotal choice you made. Most men would've walked away. You can truly look yourself in the mirror and know that you did the right thing.
Thanks, I really appreciate your feedback
Moral of the story "Stay single" as the man says
Very true. Staying single avoids a lot of these entanglements.
You are backwards and not cultured
amen amen I warn all men I can im only 40 but I did 14 years 22-36 got out with no kids or alimony blessed daily with freedom been a mgtow monk since.
@@jamie30701your testosteron had just dropped, you are not monk, but bored guy. Monk has discipline over desires.
Make no mistakes and achieve nothing at the same time - a morale to the story somewhere but anyhow.
I went through an experience a little different than johns. Got a girl pregnant at 17 yo, was told by her parents that I could walk away and they would raise the baby. I felt the need to maintain a bond with the child and agreed to marry, ( my daughter was born on my birthday, we are 18 years to the day apart). I worked a full time job though high-school , between school and work I was mentally and fiscally drained. I graduated half a year early so that I could get a job in a steel mill and support the family. I knew that the girl I married had some issues, (she was a pathological lier) and would make up lies about things that nobody really cared about just for attention. Things seemed to go good for a while, but I found out that as soon as I would go to work she would drop the kid off with her mother and hang out with her girlfriends. On the day of her 18th birthday (legal drinking age) she wanted to go out with her friends, I had to work and couldn't get out of it as I was a probationary employee, so she went out drinking with her friends. The next day she told me that she wanted an open marriage. Of course I was devastated, but told her that I couldn't agree with that and if she wanted to go down that path she would have to get a divorce, I also told her that if she filed there would be no turning back. She filed and we split up.
Three months later she wanted to get back together, evidently whoever she was seeing dumped her, and now she is saying that she is pregnant with my child, I asked if it was possible for the child to be someone elses, but she said that I was the only possible father, (DNA, test weren't available yet). A few weeks later one of her girlfriends told my sister that the child was not mine, and that my "wife" was sleeping with a guy that the girlfriend knew.
When I told this to my attorney, I was told that because we were legally married at the time of conception that I would be responsible for the baby.
I felt horribly betrayed, I knew her to be a lousy mother and convinced her to put the baby up for adoption .I told her she could move back in with me provided the kid got adopted out and we finalized the divorce.
I realized right away that knowing that she had cheated on me made her fiscally dicussting to me.
We split up as soon as the divorce was finalized and the kid was adopted out.
She ended up hooking up with an old buddy of mine (they met after we were divorced). They seemed to be doing ok together, but next thing I heard, she married someone else. They were married only about 6 months then divorced. (I heard that she had cheated).
Six months after that she's back with my buddy, about a year later they get married. My ex tries to get me to give up my parental rights because they want to move out of state, where here new husband has gotten a job. I refuse and strike a deal with her, I will continue sending the support checks and she will not try to raise my support, and I will still see my daughter although I know it won't be as often, I wanted my daughter to know that I cared about her, and that I was here if she needed me.
Now that she is an adult we have become much closeer, she has given me 3 grandkids and I am proud of the woman she has become.
Her mother and her haven't spoken much in the last 20 years and my ex has not even met the grandkids. My daughter refers to her as a psychopath. My ex is now divorced for the 3rd time, and has problems with substance abuse and a criminal record.
The kid that was given up for adoption came looking for me, because he was told I was his biological father, we have a relationship even though DNA has proven that we're not related. (I figure at the very least he's my daughter's half brother) . He also has nothing to do with his biological mother.
My life has gone well, married 45 years to a sweetheart, couple of kids both with families. Now at 67 retired, healthy and always busy.
Wow, that’s quite a story. Thanks for sharing it.
What a story. I am glad that you followed your heart. You're a good man. It's glad that your son recognizes your dedication to his well-being and future. Thank you.
I appreciate your input, thanks
Being a father...so many responsibilities and commitments yet little to no rights
I didn’t realize this, but apparently in family court rights are determined by a judge who has an opinion. It’s almost like a totalitarian world.
@@john-griffin family court + daily life where you as a man are just a plough horse to provide yet unable to be appreciated and even ask for anything in return to some extent
@@JediDarkForce Plough horse?
That would be better than a rented mule.
@@robertanna9964 you name it....the bottom line stays the same
@@john-griffin "Almost" like a totalitarian world?
John, please.
Our legal system is setup like this for the reason (that's actually good) so that proceedings can move forward somewhat expeditiously and without endless appeals during the stages prior to final decisions. (Think about that Wyoming judge and the writ of certiori)
You can appeal some things during the process that pertain to established case law and constitutionality but for the most part, you've got to offer objections in real time on the record that you can use later as a basis for appeal.
The real issue is the cost of an appeal.
I was recently quoted $450/hour and $5000 to get started on a custody issue for my 7 year old. (Non appellate case)
And John, I work with skilled surgeons who don't make that much.
Misery don't love company the way it loves money.
I had 2 daughters as a single father I raised on my own. Totally similar story, 1 daughter is a nurse and other daughter manager with Amazon both with bachelor degrees I paid for and made them independent women, they are both married but have total ability to live on there own, they are both well off. I am so proud I was not that guy to walk away. I am so proud of both of them
Nicely done! Thanks for your comment
The cesspool/whorehouse of family court is beyond disgusting to husbands and fathers who have to deal with it.
Good for fighting to take your child back and NEVER gave up. Proud of your story!
Thanks
.... you are not a father........ you are a great Dad......respect Sr
I found out a couple yrs back that I've got a supposed 36 yr old. It's been a crazy world the past 50 yrs. Never got married.....thank God!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm 44 years old, have a 12 year old son, your story and mine share many similarities. Hooked up with my lesbian "best friend", she left to see her family in another state, got a call a few weeks later her telling me she was pregnant. I made it a point to be in his life despite her refusal. Got a paternity test. It's been a wonderful experience for my son and I yet hell between his mother and I. I've done my best despite the circumstances living the best life I could while supporting him and her. 2 months ago she attacked me, got her arrested, someone bailed her out and now facing the final battle between her and I getting full custody so I can give him the stability he needs to make it to adulthood in the way I promised him as a baby. Along with this recently found out I am getting laid off soon and towards the end of your video I started crying buckets of tears. Thank you again for sharing your story. I needed to hear it this morning.
Congratulations on your son !!
Mary sounds like an unfit mother.
I'm very happy for you that you had a happy outcome !!!❤️👍🏼
Thank you so much!!
Thanks for sharing your life story today.
Thanks for watching!
I caught her in my hands coming out of her mother, after which Mommy Dearest went into a post-partum depression of four years. But I was the happiest dad in the world for at least the first two of those years. We almost had the two-state custody battle when she was two years old, but lacking a job, mommy decided to stay with me.
With joint custody after divorce, the custody battle came ten years later, trying to take my daughter out of state to be near her family, which I strongly suspected had a history of abuse.
You lucked out, and deserve all the praise. Succeeding at fatherhood is the greatest pleasure in life. But parenthood ain't all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes a daughter ends up becoming more like her mother at adulthood. 'Nuff said.
Breathtaking visuals.
Important story. Your son will praise you.
Thanks
Great story John. Ads a lot of depth. ✌️😀👍
Thanks
I'm touched John. Thanks so much for sharing. You are the definition of a REAL man.
Thanks, I really appreciate hearing you say that.
That's an amazing story John! Your a man of integrity, and I can tell by the way you talk.
Thank you kindly
@@john-griffin u bet... keep up your talks!
Inspiring story of being a real man and owning up to actions and consequences. And, you took this kid and helped him become a good man. This situation could happen to any guy.
Yes, and thanks
Thank you for sharing. I'm a young single dad myself. I'm fortunate to have about 40% custody. Trying to do right by my kid and believe all the hard work will be worth it in the end.
It is worth it. My kids are mostly grown, 34,24, and 20. I love hanging out with them and I love helping then with the challenges they face in life. Thanks
Great talk! Thanks for sharing your personal life stories! I can always draw some good advice when I listen to your episodes! Keep it coming!
Thanks
Wow... amazing story. Took on the world's biggest responsibility when he was least able to do it. Life definitely rewards the brave.
When I was a kid, there was a show called the courtship of Eddie’s father. And it was one of my favorite shows. It was the story of a father raising a boy alone. I sometimes wonder if subconsciously I internalized that television show and then manifested it in my own life in someway. Who knows
@@john-griffin Well, show or no show, you changed a boy's life and that is truly priceless.
In the Western marriage contract, it's said that men are strictly held to their traditional provider duties, while women are able to avoid many of the traditional wife responsibilities during the marriage. However, this has been the agreement from the start! Women are fully aware of the current terms and follow them, often planning for divorce before the wedding. The problem for men is that they either choose to ignore the reality of the contract, hoping they'll be among the 3% who avoid its consequences, or they are out of touch with female nature and current family law.
Women are not planning the divorce before the wedding 🙄 men treat their wives like shit and then wonder why their relationships fail.
Thats a wild story, man! Props to you on handling a tough situation the best you could. Much respect to you. I have a similar story having to deal with my sons mother. All In the past now. But what a nightmare.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing. I have a similar story, my son, who I raised, is now 35 and married. I like to say we “grew up” together. My son also comes and thanks me too
Thanks for sharing!! It’s a small club of men who are as lucky as you and me.
@@john-griffin so true! Thank you so much for sharing and your channel.
The late 1980s… was an exceptional period of growth. My message to you. YOU make a difference
That’s deep…..much respect 🫡 to you and the decisions you’ve made that have had a positive “ripple effect” on the world.
Thanks
amazing story! . I am going through a slow legal painful process and this encourages me. Thanks for sharing!
You are so welcome! Good luck
Your walks through the woods are so soothing to the mind
They’re soothing to my mind too. I can’t tell you how relaxing it is to walk through the woods even in the rain. Thanks.
This is a REAL MAN.
Thanks
You're a good man, John. Glad you were able to get custody of your son. I'm sure he's been a delight to raise.
I love own my son and daughter dearly and would do anything to protect them.
I appreciate that. Being a father was never on my radar. But now it’s my favorite role.
@@john-griffin been my favorite role, as well. It's fun to see how the kids grow and have a hand in shaping it. Wouldn't trade it for anything.
John, there are a lot of lessons in this story and I would guess you didn't have much time and guidance with your father growing up; however, the most poingnant lesson that many of us have experienced in this story is that judges do not care about the children. Their rulings indicate that they primarily care about the mother. If their ruling causes a child to perish, it is no skin off their back because they have absolute immunity in their courtroom and they probably wouldn't hear about it anyway because, at that point, the issue typically would move to criminal court. I am glad you fought for your son. Your intrinsic father/protector role kicked in and helped to make you the man you are today and saved your son's life or at the very least prevented him from being lost and destitute.
I agree with you about that judge in Wyoming. He took her word for it without hearing from me at all and made a non-decision that was actually a decision that literally put my son’s life in jeopardy. Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate it.
This is what a man means to be, honor.
Thanks, I really appreciate your input
Wow! What a moving and rich story! Thanks so much for sharing. You've given me a lot to think about.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Great video BTW. 👍
Thanks! 👍
Character. Men who are both successful and good ALWAYS own their outcomes. It’s usually more difficult in the short run, but almost always better in the long run. It can feel overwhelming, and thus the support of family and friends can be instrumental. The advice you received from your father and friends, telling you to walk away, is indicative of weak, selfish men. Congratulations for being a solid guy, even though it was difficult, John.
Thanks
A couple comments I wanted to share:
1. Although I'm in OH not VA, your beautiful walking trail is suspiciously similar to my daily walking trail (complete with deer and river).
2. Your story made me think about the relationship I have with my grown kids. After my divorce, I found my purpose in life to be a rock of support for my kids. I am their safety net, I have set myself up to provide them life advice, financial support, and even housing when/if they need it. Your story made me realize my ex-wife can only provide them love. That's fine, but as a parent she can't even afford an apt of her own let alone a home with rooms for the kids as they may come back when life gets the best of them. How sad it must be to be a parent incapable of providing for your children. Something about becoming a parent really helped me by focusing my life to one centered around helping my children succeed.
Thank you for sharing!
We are exactly the same. My wife cannot provide anything for our kids. I have money and 4 extra bedrooms. Love is a verb. It’s what we do that matters.
Much respect! If only more men would fight for custody of their children with such passion and push back against this corrupted, gynocentric, joke of a system.
Thanks
This was so heartwarming. You are a mensch sir!
Thanks, I think. I need to look up that my Yiddish.
Nice!!! Absolutely exceptional!!
Thanks! It’s all been worth it
This is a truly moving story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.
You sure have some great stories! Guys, when you get out of a hostile relationship, don't go picking up another trash woman to make yourself feel better. There are endless single Moms with red flags; leave them on the streets. The sex is not worth it!
Thanks for sharing your sons story.your a top bloke John.
My pleasure, thank you
Respect. What a great story and what a fantastic decision you made.
Thanks
Your walking trail is so gorgeous 😮!
Thanks
Yes, it's so serene. Not only do I enjoy the topic of the day, I marvel at how beautiful and peaceful the trail appears to be.
I’ve never heard a story like this that wasn’t crazy!
Respect!
Thanks
I would have fought for my four childrens' custody, except I was the breadwinner and my job made it just more rational for my ex to have custody. And she was a good mom. But I got them every weekend for four years, until I was forced to move out-of-state for work. I missed them so much. But we seem to have a good relationship now, 16 years later.
Man that ending closing statement was epic. I'm feeling th is right now.
Thanks
Great story. Thanks
Thanks I’m glad you liked it
Subscribed. Similar story when my monkey was born. God I love her!
Where I am, child court judges' pensions are paid, at least partially, from revenues in support payments. Of course, we all know who these payments come from.
Similar story here. Got custody of my son as well. It was a battle, but well worth it. Keep up the good fight gentlemen.
The best thing in the world. Now he is my best friend. We can talk about anything. Thanks!
@@john-griffin Same, my son and I are super close. His mom is a mess. My son is a class-act guy and is starting law school next year. Sons need their dads to fight for them. Your story was inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
You are a very honourable person.
Thanks
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for watching!
proud of you dude
Thanks
Most guy would have walked away given the chance and a situation like that. Good for you doing the right thing and taking responsibility even though you had to really fight for it..
Thanks
Glad it worked out for you and your son. Your videos are a great cautionary tale to young men.
My story is a bit different but includes a divorce and a fight to get 50/50 custody here in VA. It seems like the courts are stacked against fathers. It’s strange how hard guys have to fight in these situations as compared to women.
I think it a lot depends on the judge. Because it is a very subjective decision on their part.
My ex wife and I have 2 adopted and 2 biological children.
During one of the adoptions legal process, our attorney made the off hand reference/comment-
"Father from Hell" in referring to the child's biological father and his potential to derail the legal process by exercising his rights to the child.
It would be years later that I learned of the family Court system and it's Amazonian levels of bias and corruption.
My son is doing great today, stationed in Europe with the military.
I'm proud that i was able raise him after the divorce. And that only happened by the conceptual virtue of his own "self determination". Not the family Court system awarding me anything but pain, misery and endless legal bills.
That’s a great story. I couldn’t agree more about the court system. Thanks.
My goodness John..you’re quite the man with an interesting back story..😮 I truly hope after all of your life experiences that you have found some kind of settlement, peace, happiness and joy after coping with a series of challenges…sometimes, relationships even dalliances are simply not worth the time, if not carefully thought out and properly vetted..f### in haste and repent at leisure..you are definitely a very high value man who found himself caught out with trashy people 😢 hopefully you are taking care in future 👍
Wow , That is some story ! Good for you !
Thanks
Wow! Great story John
Glad you enjoyed it
John Your A Good Man…
Your Story Is Similar To Mine…Although Significantly Different…But I Enjoy Listening To Your Perspective Of The World…
I Am Going Through A Divorce After 20 Years Of Marriage…Did Not See It Coming…Yet In Hindsight…I Should Have 3 Years Ago!
I Am Struggling With My Four Children Adopted From Birth…& My STBX Is Strongly Fighting For Full Custody…I Want Some Custody…But Also Adopted Late In Life (I’m 64) & They Are 6, 7 13& 15 & Like You I Feel I Don’t Want To interact With Her…Yet I Also Struggle With Just Walking Away…Because I Do Love Them & Yet I Do Feel Strongly Responsible To Raise Them…
I Strongly Believe Children Need Both A Mom & Dad…A Mother Can Try Her Best…But A Ballance Is Best!!! But A Part of Me Just Wants To Start A New Life….Ahhhhh…I Don’t Know If To Fight Expensive Attorney Battle…Or Say See Ya?
Thank You Sincerely For Inspiring Me To Be The Man I Need To Be…!!!
Take Care My Friend!!!!!
Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds very difficult for you. I wish you a very best.
It is touching and interesting story and thanks for sharing it. I do have to ask what is the relationship like between your son and his mother ?...and half siblings she later had ?
It’s pretty minimal. They share phone numbers and he gets text messages from her from time to time and he does reply to them. She actually did spend some time in prison herself. I think she’s just grateful to have any relationship at all with him. He has largely forgiven her for a number of things that occurred after I got custody. She would make promises and not keep them about gifts and things like that, he has spoken to his siblings a few times, but their lives have moved away from their mother completely. I don’t know what caused them to be so angry with her, but they don’t talk to her at all anymore. I really don’t ask him very much about it anymore. He’s a grown man he can make his own decisions, he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Thanks for asking.
Great Story John
Thanks for listening
Another red pill knowledge drop.. thank you. Women who move out of their home state are always escaping from their dirty past..
Truth
Honestly, you had some good luck in the process John. Thank god it turned out really well for you and for the kid but imagine if she didn’t have criminal records and if the trailer story didn’t happen. There’s no way in hell that you would’ve taken custody of that child unfortunately..
Great video !
You’re right. I was lucky. But I also pressed the issues with all of my resources and some of the luck came to me.
Be very careful who you hook up with, this is moral of this story. To many men with high values like John fall prey to unworhy women.
I agree with you completely. But you know when you’re young and you’re stupid any port in a storm as the saying goes
Well John your story doesn't sound like much fun.
Remember if your having too much fun something is wrong. 😅🤣🤣🤣
Well you didn't die. 😂🤣🤣🤣
You got your stuff sorted now so good for you. Keep up the great conversation. 😊
Thanks
Thanks for sharing the story of your earlier lifes challenges.
As the old preacher man used to say..." you got out during the week sowing your wild oats and then pray for a crop failure on the weekend""😄
Did you ever get a DNA test to confirm you ARE the baby daddy?
No. I didn’t want to create the appearance that I was debating paternity in the middle of custody suit.
Seems like Mary “had a little lamb!”
😂😂😂 I love that
But Mary wasn't white as snow...
Great story 👌
Thanks, appreciate that
You have my respect.
Thanks, much appreciated
women-
cant live with em
cant live without em
You can live without them.
Aristotle, Socrates and God tune in to this man daily. Silently they envy his simple innocence.
Thanks so very much
At least the woman told you she was pregnant, a lot of guys find out later after the child is born from a paternity suit court summons
I dated a man who found out about his child FIVE YEARS after their breakup! And she didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with what she had done. So cruel. He missed five years of his child's life. And his family was a close-knit family so they were all upset about it.
True
Of course, the other moral to the story is don’t let yourself get a loser pregnant, even if you are a solid guy. Even at 24, you can have a little bit better control over that switch.
Thank God she didn’t have an abortion.
Amazing and very personal share John. I was taken aback for sure. Yet I see the usual "never have kids" comments. John had a very "bad selection" for a mother - as he was young and he never even thought of getting her pregnant and was just having shared fun. She turned out as bad as you be for a mom and yet John is obviously thrilled with having custody, is proud of himself and of his son, of the gratitude his son shows, of what he has contributed to. Don't you "anti-kids" people get it? Don't have kids if you don't want to, no problem here. But you go raving about never having kids as if it's a mantra, as if it's a great accomplishment or something. Ask most dads on here and elsewhere if they regret having kids or love it. I'd guess at least 70% are in that second option. Again, no one is forcing you to have kids or saying you should! But nope, it's nothing to celebrate either.
During my life, I’ve had to play many roles. I’ve been a husband, a brother, a son, a boss, an employee, a business owner. But the role that I cherish the most is that of being the father of my children. It gives me more happiness and deep satisfaction than anything else in my life, nothing else even comes close
@@john-griffin I comprehend fully and salute you, sir. To be fair, I think as men we have to be successful in many ways to fully appreciate any of the others, but indeed for deep satisfaction, nothing else even comes close. Yet we have many men on here reveling in the fact they never had kids as it's a great accomplishment, despite what you, I and so many dads say. You're not preaching to have some, neither am I, yet they feel the need to justify it to the world. It eerily mimics radical feminism, just the mirror image.
The only missing puzzle of the story is a DNA paternity test. Have you done that?
That’s what I was going to say… is he sure that’s his biological son??? Because Mary sounds extremely sketchy…
the moment when you realize youre married to a pathological liar with all sorts of control issues on the top is quite something. To the defence of the young me who didnt know that much about red flags - sometimes they are hidden truly that deep, that you just cant know any better until she decides to drop the act.
You are a great storyteller. Was an abortion ever considered by the young woman? Just curious. Thanks.
No, we never even discussed it. Interesting.
Did you get DNA test first?
You tell a good story, John. Good on you for fighting for your son and thank you for sharing.
Thanks for watching
You are……. Just wow
Thanks
How do you know you are the father?
I love the area you live in
Thanks, I feel very lucky to have that nearby
One of my classmates did the opposite. Got his girlfriend pregnant and left town.
Well, I guess to each man his own. Hopefully he’s OK with that.
Proves the point, think before you dip your wick.
No girl judge.
Very nice story, thank you!
Thanks, I really appreciate your feedback
I would have done the same
Dude, towards the end, expecting her to take accountability. . . well, take another hit of hopium. Accountability is wahman's Kryptonite. Maybe read Esther Vilar's 'The Manipulated Man, 1974, heavily suppressed paperback.
Does your son talk to his mom “Mary”?
Yes. The exchange text messages from time to time. I don’t think they talk very often but he’s a grown man, he can talk to his mom whenever he wants.
"I know it couldn't be anyone else's child because she was with me all the time"........🤔 Bro this is not exactly a 'scientific method' of determining its your child. I know women (even innocent ones) who had so many partners they cant even narrow it down to less than four dudes. You may have spent all of YOUR time with her but that doesn't mean it was all of HER time. No substitute for a paternity test!
Your story would make a compelling movie on the big screen. Unfortunately, many of the people and places would likely have to be changed to please everyone (and by everyone I guess I'm talking about the woke crowd) and in the end the story would barely be recognizable.
You’re probably right. A white man taking a baby, young woman probably isn’t very compelling. That’s OK, my son enjoys the story. It turned out really well for him.
You didn’t test paternity?
I did not, because it’s very difficult to challenge paternity while you’re also filing for custody. It gives mixed messages to the court, and then it can seem like I am not committed to the child.
@@john-griffin what a difficult position to be in..
The paradox is that having sex with Crazy is often the best. By the way , what were they thinking employing her to look after their kids ?
There’s a whole scandal associated with the nanny industry. It often is the place where young women who have gotten into big trouble go to hide and get out of town. There’s a lot of money in it for the nanny companies. I’m sure my friends and clients who hired her probably were shopping for low prices and that’s how they found An offbrand company to hire her. But that’s a very good point.
Family law judges are omnipotent...and nothing else matters. They will do what ever they want, and 9 out 10 times the father loses, and so do his children. My ex wife had sex right on the livingroom floor with her co worker. My boys told me they saw that, court did nothing. The husband at the baby sitter had an 8 year old girl take her blouse in front of him while everyone else was out side including his wife. My son caught him. I reported that to the court thru my attorney...the court did nothing. However, the police had no problem telling me I was now trespassed from the baby sitters property....where my children were.
Yes, and they have an enormous amount of discretion. Really it’s just a matter of opinion and a lot of cases. It’s a judge likes you. You’re good to go. The judge doesn’t like you. You’re screwed. Women do a great job of being very sympathetic characters in court. it sounds like you really went through hell though
@@john-griffin Yes, my kids as well and my mother.
Judges rarely give the child to the father. 95% of the time, the mother wins. She must have been drunk once too many.
In areas where they have more liberal judicial systems it is much more likely these days to get 50-50 custody. The possibility of a man getting custody is actually much higher than you would think. All the man has to show is that the children would be better off in his home than in hers. You do have to plan your strategy carefully and you will need a lot of evidence to back up your claims. But it is possible.
Du bist immer am Kaugummi kauen. Jetzt habe ich mir auch eins geben lassen. Ich habe seit Jahren keinen mehr in Mund genommen.
It helps me think sometimes
You seem like a really nice person....but i do have to say...with bad taste in women
I can’t argue with you. Thanks.