Am lying in a hospital & was miserable. I turned on your RUclips show sometime after dark; just realized it’s now 4:51 a.m. & have been laughing hysterically all night.Thanks for this.
I absolutely love Karl pilkington, he is absolutely brilliant. When I feel like crap...he cheers me up to no end!;I've cried so many times from laughter.
2:45:32 - "I think by 2020, germs will be so big we can see them in the air. I think that's how we'll die in the future." Karl Pilkington saw the future.
Karl is my type of person. I could sit and talk to him for hours. Without an imagination, life must be dull. I just wish Ricky wouldn't interrupt him so much!
The diary in and of itself is hilarious, but Steve's narrating of it makes it that much more hilarious. I wonder if he read it first before going on air; his delivery is perfet. I own a Mr. K. Dilkington shirt, btw.
Karl is actually quite intelligent. Some of his points are valid. It’s just his air-head personality and humerus delivery that gives gervais an opportunity to grill him. If you listen to him in-depth he often makes Ricky and Steve sound stupid for taking the piss lol.
I suffer from not liking humans, I started listening to this when I'm walking round town or doing the shopping...rather than worrying about other people,I just laugh out loud to this. ❤️
karl pilkinton is a natural philosopher think ricky gervasis has definitely learned a thing or two from him over the years, weather he realises it or not
Ricky says plenty of times that Karl is brilliant. It's just that Karl didn't use his brain at all leading him to easily believe in shit like mind readers, or he'd get a key fact in a story so astronomically wrong it'd make everything sound like bullshit.
I've been having trouble sleeping, trust me just listening to these podcasts have helped me massively love Karl pilkington funny asfook... The best classics 😁😆🤣😭
Needed something to listen to since I'm laying in bed cannot sleep. I have no clue who these people are but the comment section has great reviews written by seemingly intelligent individuals so I listened. So glad I did. I love stumbling upon gems like this out of no where.
@@jammy7032 I have watched almost all their stuff. Karl understandably is doing his own thing much more. I have boxed sets and all of Ricky's dvds but he is wearing thin. Karl is not stupid at all.
When you go to bed… Have cuddle with your hubby… then say gnite and turn on your headphones and shut the lights off. Wake up at 1 by the hysterics of Ricky then replace the earphones with ear plugs ( cause hubby snores the roof off). It’s all just another night at the Kenny house … night night everyone
@@narnzipan intensely clever eh…that’s the best kind. Have you got any proof of this - that isn’t just your opinion? (Vague reply with no source below 👇🏻)
@@dobbo1893 somehow I get the feeling that nothing I say or do, no matter how many credible sources I quote, you're not changing your mind. How about YOU do some research and find out for yourself??? 🤔
@@narnzipan I will accept 1 source if you’d like to show me just 1 that helped ‘prove’ it for you? Other people reading this might like your sources revealed (you ain’t got shit lol)
Karl's imagination is so strong that often he verbalises what he's imagined to the point where he thinks it's fact. Lobster Dali story is a prime example :')
I live in a pretty old building, and during this hella hot summer, the power goes out quite frequently. So I downloaded every single 2-3+hr long videos for those days… and today is one of those days. I work from my computer at home, so I’m kinda SOL there today, but at least I can just roll up a few, chill at my desk and draw, and listen to hours and hours of the most profound thoughts ever to come out of such a brilliant, orange headed man 😌😌😌
This was the BEST! I thought I had listened to everything hundreds of times but I swear you were able to find some diary entries that I haven't heard. Made my night at work. THANK YOU!!!!
I absolutely believe what Karl says about kidney stones--my Dad is a former Royal Marine who was injured, and a former pro wrestler who tore a bicep...and he says kidney stones was worse than those, and least responsive to pain-killers
Your dad sounds fucking badass. Can't say I blame him though, never had kidney stones but I was scared straight as a little kid by my parents telling me I'd pee out a rock if I ate too much junk food. Now I compulsively drink water whenever I eat fries or chips, lol
@@ExaltedUriel Yeah--the crazy bastard...when he had kidney stones he refused to take an ambulance and insisted I come and pick him up and drive him to the emergency room.
I've had a kidney stone myself. I'm lucky it was in one piece. I also have a horseback riding teacher who's had kidney stones, and she says it was more painful than childbirth.
I love when he talks about Dali's lobster-phone and says "I don't know what happened....". He completely invalidates everything he's about to say in one sentence. BRILLIANT!
The "How would you put the mirror on the right side of the moon always facing the earth" is actually possible, since the moon is in a geosynchronous orbit so it always shows us the same side.
@@kiro6119 You can see your relection in it with the naked eye, like Karl wanted to can you? When I look at the moon, I can't see any mirrors. So I don't really know what point you're making, apart from wanting to make Karl look like he knows what he's talking about. 🤷♂️
55:48 I feel Karl was lucky with his earbud incident. My dad has a similar story where he had the cotton bud in his ear, got a phone call and he put it right to his ear and smacked it in. Says it's one of the worst pains he's had. Also, my mum has had the cotton of a bud stuck in her ear canal before and it took 2 weeks for her ear to flush it out. My family isn't the brightest
Laces are actually kind of annoying. I see what Karl is saying about velcro: it was smart invention that should've caught on, but it probably never did because it was marketed for kids. His idea about a tie with pockets is hilarious idiocy though haha.
@@Nofurtherquestions and I suppose Ricky and Steve put him up in Salford, Manchester for his childhood as well? It's the sad gits like you who believe that Karl is an "actor". What a load of nonsense.
I love some of the innocent wisdom of Carl. It is fascinating to see what he is interested in, and his take always from his experiences. Carl, if you ever come over to Canada, I’ll buy you a pint! Actually I’ll buy you a 0.47 litre, because we use the metric system here.
I would enjoy to read this diary or to hear it without any laugh or commentary because it sound like a great artwork to my hear, can i find it somewhere on the web?
Also it would be great if somebody was motivated to make english subtitles for english learners it would be easier to understand everything because it's not easy to guess all the jokes from the context . I want to say also that Karl is using very well the language actually, to express with a lot of poetry the feelings that he has as he looks at himself kind of dreaming awake. Just try to write your dreams and make it something beautiful that is not easy. He's investigating on his proper mind, observing his subconscious' speech and writing everything down everyday. I call him a real artist. I'm not totally sure that rick has enough respect for him, but as a comic maybe, they make an interesting pair anyway.
Nikolai Tesla is just one of the many people that understood things beyond what we have been taught… But there were thousands and thousands of others like him that were way ahead of their time.
earphones in late at night, lying in bed. listening to karls ramblings... heaven.
Same
Then my skull fell out lmfao..today on monkey news lmfao
(see comment above) You said it ! Right on ! . . 👍
Bro i genuanly thought i was the only 1
@@bigounce2477 Nope your not , join our extended group ! ! . . 👍👏
Mr. Dilkington is one of my most valued customers.
I put it in the bin
Tell me that this isn’t the funniest trio in comedy history. Nothing has ever made me burst out in laughter like this. Genius.
Funnits one😊
Am lying in a hospital & was miserable. I turned on your RUclips show sometime after dark; just realized it’s now 4:51 a.m. & have been laughing hysterically all night.Thanks for this.
Well keep it down! Some people are trying to sleep, psssh :P :')
we'll jeez, 04:52
@@Felipe-rw1lj you ok?
You would have been popular
@@Felipe-rw1lj everything alright Felipe? 🤔
Steve taking over from Ricky to read out Karl's diary is a happenstance of eternal benefit for mankind.
Big joint, headphones in, bed cold… life simple sometimes 😂😂😂✌️
That’s a better combo then pbj and that’s a fact too
I feel that mate some you time 💚
And my dog snuggled next to me ❤
"If Moths Had Eyes" is actually a great satire on contemporary poetry. I don't know if that's what Karl was going for, but it works.
Also Moths aren’t even blind which is a hilarious factor that has been overlooked by Ricky and Steve lol
666666y6and
How in the worldly fuck could Karl Pilkongton (head like a fkn orange) have ever be going for that. LOL
almost certainly NOT :P
I'd rather be a blind moth
I absolutely love Karl pilkington, he is absolutely brilliant. When I feel like crap...he cheers me up to no end!;I've cried so many times from laughter.
good thing you've got ironsides, cause mine absolutely split when i listen to this trio!
Yes! He's kind of a saint.
@Simon Parnell het
@Simon Parnell ft
@Scott Donnelly hI b bibibbbiI ibbbb bbb iniI hbbibinb be nbb i iniibib inibbhinn bb in B bbbb in ibiniininbibb b bibib
2:45:32 - "I think by 2020, germs will be so big we can see them in the air. I think that's how we'll die in the future." Karl Pilkington saw the future.
YO
@@captainplane398 what germs can we see in the air? lol? pollution?
Not quite.
Karl is my type of person. I could sit and talk to him for hours. Without an imagination, life must be dull. I just wish Ricky wouldn't interrupt him so much!
that's the bit
Steve's delivery is essential to the Karl's Diary segments. I dont think it would be half as funny with someone else saying it
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Probably would be funnier if Karl read it himself
Idk Steve is my least favorite
Karl and Ricky are the show
@@bbyshady yea shut up ya dummy, you are wrong
Yup Karl writes it Steve reads it n Ricky laughs like a demented hyena at it.
karl has a soul and therefore an inner monologue, but ricky and steve both are NPCs with no inner monologue and don't understand the concept. 5:30
That still cartoon of Karl is perfect, I can look up at any point in this and can totally picture him saying these things in this pose.
The diary in and of itself is hilarious, but Steve's narrating of it makes it that much more hilarious. I wonder if he read it first before going on air; his delivery is perfet.
I own a Mr. K. Dilkington shirt, btw.
Ricky's audible childlike excitement the moment Karl announces he's started a diary
Karl is actually quite intelligent. Some of his points are valid. It’s just his air-head personality and humerus delivery that gives gervais an opportunity to grill him. If you listen to him in-depth he often makes Ricky and Steve sound stupid for taking the piss lol.
fr😂😂
20 years later looking back and Karl was the one in the right.
Emphasis on "some" lol. A lot of the stuff he seemed to genuinely believe is full of shit 🤣
well... quite intelligent is a stretch. hes a functioning human being
He is very funny but he is not the sharpest tool in the shed.
I suffer from not liking humans, I started listening to this when I'm walking round town or doing the shopping...rather than worrying about other people,I just laugh out loud to this. ❤️
Hahaha I suffer from not liking people too
@@jamescummings7459 yes there is a specific human species called ignorant...I can't stand them but they pop up everywhere 🤣
Doesn't like humans with an exception for Karl, cuz that man's from a whole another world
@@Janfon1 "you are from another planet mate" *high five* 😂😂
Yeah
karl pilkinton is a natural philosopher think ricky gervasis has definitely learned a thing or two from him over the years, weather he realises it or not
Those that claim to know know nothing those that know nothing are the wisest 😂
He has. Some jokes/gags in Afterlife are very “Karl”
Ricky says plenty of times that Karl is brilliant. It's just that Karl didn't use his brain at all leading him to easily believe in shit like mind readers, or he'd get a key fact in a story so astronomically wrong it'd make everything sound like bullshit.
I've been having trouble sleeping, trust me just listening to these podcasts have helped me massively love Karl pilkington funny asfook... The best classics 😁😆🤣😭
I go to sleep listening to these 3. I hope they know how many people are helped by their humor. Depression is epidemic and they are the anecdote.
I just Ricky’s laugh wasn’t so freakish or I’d be able to sleep to it
I just realised, they muse about famous diaries, all the while they are basically making a famous diary. Karl should be proud.
Karl's insect obsession reminds me of Charlie Day's spider obsession in It's Always Sunny, lol.
Who’s disliking this? Dickie Anders???
Dr. Fox
Jellyfish
Wendy, with her little program
Karl’s dad. “Don’t listen to that twat”
wewe's
I love how much Ricky loves Karl…
he really does. None of us would be listening to any of this if it weren't for Karl.
Sameeee ❤
Cause Ricky knew how much money Karl would make him
Doctors who are so clever they dont bother opening their eyes made me genuinely cry with laughter
My auntie used to do this: have her eyes open when talking but then when came to looking at you she’s close her eyes
@@weematty475 could you explain this any further? This is really strange and I'm fascinated.
His brain works on such different way, it's amazing love it.
Karl is basically just like the first human to ever experience consciousness.
Ricky’s laugh is everything ❤️🤣
Needed something to listen to since I'm laying in bed cannot sleep.
I have no clue who these people are but the comment section has great reviews written by seemingly intelligent individuals so I listened.
So glad I did. I love stumbling upon gems like this out of no where.
I love the way Ricky can say the most hurtful things to Karl but suddenly when Karl criticises Ricky's pets he all but loses it. Go Karl!
You clearly don’t understand them 🤣
@@jammy7032 I have watched almost all their stuff. Karl understandably is doing his own thing much more. I have boxed sets and all of Ricky's dvds but he is wearing thin. Karl is not stupid at all.
@@narellev5411 haven’t said he was stupid?
@@narellev5411 some of the funniest bits of ‘derek’ and ‘afterlife’ are Ricky blatantly ripping off things Karl said 20 years back
How can you not understand hes joking lol do you not hear it in his voice
Can listen to these all day. Heard these for years and still love them
Me2😅😅😅😅
Karl Pilkington’s diary is a masterpiece of comedy and life.
I would buy it
I know a lot of the things he says sounds a bit dumb but the thinking in your accent thing is totally relatable.
When you go to bed…
Have cuddle with your hubby… then say gnite and turn on your headphones and shut the lights off. Wake up at 1 by the hysterics of Ricky then replace the earphones with ear plugs ( cause hubby snores the roof off). It’s all just another night at the Kenny house … night night everyone
"everyone's a mime in a picture" - how does he come up with it
Karl is extremely charming for what it’s worth. He’s insane, but there’s such a heart in there. He’s really trying his best to understand existence.
Insane? Nah
You do realise that the man is an intensely clever comedian who is playing a character in these shows, don't you??? 🤔
@@narnzipan intensely clever eh…that’s the best kind.
Have you got any proof of this - that isn’t just your opinion?
(Vague reply with no source below 👇🏻)
@@dobbo1893 somehow I get the feeling that nothing I say or do, no matter how many credible sources I quote, you're not changing your mind. How about YOU do some research and find out for yourself??? 🤔
@@narnzipan I will accept 1 source if you’d like to show me just 1 that helped ‘prove’ it for you?
Other people reading this might like your sources revealed (you ain’t got shit lol)
This deserves so many more views
Given that it's 20 years old and is not original material I don't see why
@@edmckay8647 Aye, Fair enough.
I agree, this made my day.
I should probably get my head read, but Karl Dilkington makes a lot of sense at times
Pond of the month. Incredible
okay but Karl's poems are legit
Yeah, 99% of what he says is gobbledygook, but his poems are genuinely brilliant in my opinion.
I wonder if he still writes them.😀
Karl is a brilliantly every day guy. Like others commenting here - I laugh so hard sometimes I get a stitch in my side (lighting up doesn't help 🤣)
Karl's imagination is so strong that often he verbalises what he's imagined to the point where he thinks it's fact. Lobster Dali story is a prime example :')
I'm saving this for if I'm ever suicidal
Watch it and stop giving yourself the option to even consider suicide :-)
Hope things are well, Jacob
So glad Ricky came to Karl’s rescue re the Chinese man being from Japan line. A brilliant digression that makes it so authentic.
I live in a pretty old building, and during this hella hot summer, the power goes out quite frequently.
So I downloaded every single 2-3+hr long videos for those days… and today is one of those days.
I work from my computer at home, so I’m kinda SOL there today, but at least I can just roll up a few, chill at my desk and draw, and listen to hours and hours of the most profound thoughts ever to come out of such a brilliant, orange headed man 😌😌😌
This was the BEST! I thought I had listened to everything hundreds of times but I swear you were able to find some diary entries that I haven't heard. Made my night at work. THANK YOU!!!!
its crazy that all this is from the early 2000s, listening to some of the things they talk about on xfm is like a glimpse into the recent past.
I absolutely believe what Karl says about kidney stones--my Dad is a former Royal Marine who was injured, and a former pro wrestler who tore a bicep...and he says kidney stones was worse than those, and least responsive to pain-killers
Your dad sounds fucking badass. Can't say I blame him though, never had kidney stones but I was scared straight as a little kid by my parents telling me I'd pee out a rock if I ate too much junk food. Now I compulsively drink water whenever I eat fries or chips, lol
@@ExaltedUriel Yeah--the crazy bastard...when he had kidney stones he refused to take an ambulance and insisted I come and pick him up and drive him to the emergency room.
I've had a kidney stone myself. I'm lucky it was in one piece. I also have a horseback riding teacher who's had kidney stones, and she says it was more painful than childbirth.
I definitely have an internal monologue too.
I've been playing the XFM era through the 'Guide(s)' on repeat for years. Never gets old. I want to hear more about the "One-Faced Man."
Ricky raising his voice awakens some deep fear inside of me and I don’t know why
It's aggressive sounding isn't it...
I can see how going from all-out-laughing to aggression could be triggerIng.
Because you’re weak
Ricky confirming he has no internal dialogue and is therefore an NPC is priceless.
Yeah wth lol
Never heard this before but I’m so glad this popped up in my recommended
I love when he talks about Dali's lobster-phone and says "I don't know what happened....". He completely invalidates everything he's about to say in one sentence. BRILLIANT!
Karl Pilkington 🏆, he deals with Ricky, I don't know how...
rickys laugh is contagious. im crying
Ricky knows karls a guy you don't meet everyday.his heart n way he thinks is so pure n he's so innocent in his look in life.
His voice is so soothing....relaxing
If Moths Had Eyes is one of my favourite bits of content I've ever come across
The "How would you put the mirror on the right side of the moon always facing the earth" is actually possible, since the moon is in a geosynchronous orbit so it always shows us the same side.
They do acknowledge that in a later podcast.
You still wouldn't see the mirror though, so it's pointless😲
@@tyroon81 they actually do have mirrors on the moon and you can see it, so its not pointless
@@kiro6119
You can see your relection in it with the naked eye, like Karl wanted to can you?
When I look at the moon, I can't see any mirrors.
So I don't really know what point you're making, apart from wanting to make Karl look like he knows what he's talking about.
🤷♂️
@@tyroon81 Look it up.
What an excellent find. Tremendous and original.
karl should sell his diary as a book.
This is only the second video I've seen. Absolutely priceless 😂.
"You an your clocks" 🤣🤣🤣
As a fan of Kaamelott , Karl is like Perceval in real life 🤣 He is just so perfect
the problem is that karl's brain is too big so us mere mortals don't fully grasp that karl is a genius
Actually Karl is very insightful. Adam and Eve weren't only innocent, they weren't burdened with having to remember any history... waaaah 😁
They were completely guilty…
Listening to karl pilkington makes everything better 💖
I've been struggling to sleep so I put this on .... job done!
55:48 I feel Karl was lucky with his earbud incident. My dad has a similar story where he had the cotton bud in his ear, got a phone call and he put it right to his ear and smacked it in. Says it's one of the worst pains he's had. Also, my mum has had the cotton of a bud stuck in her ear canal before and it took 2 weeks for her ear to flush it out. My family isn't the brightest
Karl makes sense to me I love him lol 😂
Can confirm, I think in my accent and in my voice and intonations
Laces are actually kind of annoying. I see what Karl is saying about velcro: it was smart invention that should've caught on, but it probably never did because it was marketed for kids. His idea about a tie with pockets is hilarious idiocy though haha.
Absolutely love listening to Karl , Ricky and Stephen....national treasures right there 😊
Lying in bed, lights off, cold room, snacks, and Karl’s diary. Bliss
If only karl was able to communicate his thoughts just a tad better. I see myself in him so much. I feel.
Karl is the most accidentally funny person alive
No accident. He's an actor and it's staged
@@Nofurtherquestions don't. talk. shite. you. idiot.
@@Nofurtherquestions and I suppose Ricky and Steve put him up in Salford, Manchester for his childhood as well? It's the sad gits like you who believe that Karl is an "actor". What a load of nonsense.
Still listening.
Every diary entry is an avalanche of piss funny coming to engulf you
I love some of the innocent wisdom of Carl. It is fascinating to see what he is interested in, and his take always from his experiences.
Carl, if you ever come over to Canada, I’ll buy you a pint! Actually I’ll buy you a 0.47 litre, because we use the metric system here.
If you watch the thumbnail for long enough you'll see Karl blink
Listening to Karl's diary is funny AF 😂😂😂
This is my anxiety fixer, when im all knackered from mum yelling at my older bruv an me uncle being in the yard or in the house.
Listening to Karl, I don't know if I've gained faith in humanity or lost it xD
Builders just going from building to building just building 🤣🤣🤣
Just amazing, my stomach hurts, I want someone to make him stop but I'm fascinated at the same time.
It's currently 01:48 in the morning, my drunk girlfriend has stressed me the fuck out. Time to listen to these three geniuses and relax
"get your honey's worth" is genuinely funny, poor karl
Playing this worldwide could fix everything.
I would enjoy to read this diary or to hear it without any laugh or commentary because it sound like a great artwork to my hear, can i find it somewhere on the web?
Karl is more intelligent than most of us
Terrifying thought :(
don't bungle us in with your level mate
Also it would be great if somebody was motivated to make english subtitles for english learners it would be easier to understand everything because it's not easy to guess all the jokes from the context . I want to say also that Karl is using very well the language actually, to express with a lot of poetry the feelings that he has as he looks at himself kind of dreaming awake. Just try to write your dreams and make it something beautiful that is not easy. He's investigating on his proper mind, observing his subconscious' speech and writing everything down everyday. I call him a real artist. I'm not totally sure that rick has enough respect for him, but as a comic maybe, they make an interesting pair anyway.
I've been watching it with the auto-generated subtitles to check it for you. They are very accurate, so you should be able to use them.
He loves him or he would not be around him. They love each other ❤️
"You can tell a lot by people's eyes, that's what I've said about Jellyfish." - Karl Pilkington
Karl
@@alanharrison2726 fixed ty
17:09 is the best bit
PISSED my sides first time.
Nikolai Tesla is just one of the many people that understood things beyond what we have been taught… But there were thousands and thousands of others like him that were way ahead of their time.
I don't know what is funnier, Karls diary, or Ricky laughing 😂
I dont think ricky loved anything as much as he did karl. In fairness, don't we all.
Indeed. Did he die
The cure for depression
Rickys laugh sounds like a peacock cry at points 😂😂😂
Sounds like a helicopter on fumes when his dying
This is absolutely perfect
3:10am, can't sleep so listening to this
Stephen Merchants wit is so on point.
Re hearing this I realise that Karl is a genius and the other two are wrong in so many ways 😂😂
Not really
@@sorrysorry1877 but I can tell you’re not a genius 😀
RtftCcg forward V
Depends how many times you heard it before
Can you give examples?
Coz I think Karl may be educationally sub-normal 😆