Feeling hopeless and depressed and suicidal is one of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced. You feel empty and dead and life feels pointless. My cats have really kept me here. I worry about who would take care of them if not for me so I have never gone to the extent of planning or writing a note but I have daydreamed about it and hoping that I would die. I am thankful of the life I have had but it makes me sad that I have so many emotional and psychological issues. Seems unfair. Thank you for sharing. You are so handsome and lovely.
The only thing that stops me from ending my life is failing at a suicide attempt. If I hung myself and didn't do it properly, I could potentially end up with brain damage, if I threw myself in front of a train, I could end up losing limbs and then forced to live out the rest of my life, disabled, constantly reminded of how I couldn't even get suicide right. I hope in a year from now, I won't be having these kind of thoughts. Cause A. no one really knows what to say to a suicidal person and B. there is no 100% way to get out of your suffering when you're in the suffering as we are all in uniquely difficult situations, but this video gave me hope, thank you.
I found a way that does it with 100% painless certainty. But it would destroy the lives of my family and friends until they die. My parents would never recover. I feel I have to remain alive in order to prevent other people being in pain. I don't want to live this way. I want to live because I want to feel like life is beautiful.
Out of all of the years in my life that I've spend feeling suicidal, this video and your words are the only ones to ever have made me feel something, to make me feel better even. the hours spent feeling stuck in numb anger, misery, and fear of my future, after listening to you I feel like I can take a breath. thank you. I'm sorry we understand each other.
Mate, my old man passed away when I was young and I am BPD I related with you a lot and I appreciate you opening up. This is really helping me. Thanks.
I get so very angry whenever I hear anyone say that suiside is selfish. I completely understand that for the people who are left behind, it can feel like it must be. Because until you are in that moment of choice, where you are in Such unbearable emotional pain that you are willing to end you life to make it stop. You could never possibly understand. ;; ; ; ;
“You are allowed to feel every emotion “ .... These words are so so true! Thank you for saying them! I’m so glad that you are still here. The world needs you! ✨
Thank you so much for sharing your story and talking so openly about suicide. I agree that suicide is not a selfish act. When someone is feeling that low they cant see any other way out from their pain and sheer hell of living. In my experience, its not that the person wants to die, they no longer want to feel the way they do! They desperately need help and support. I would recommend a book I read recently "A Boy Between" written by Amanda Prowse and Josiah Hartley ( Mother and Son) They tell their story of attempted suicide with such honesty and openness. Amazing read!
Reece I hope you don't mind if I say here, suicide was decriminalised in the UK in 1961. This meant that people who survived an attempted suicide were no longer prosecuted. The act of suicide was no longer a criminal offence in British law. Yet we continue to talk about "committing suicide". If someone ends their life they haven't committed a crime. That's what criminals do, when they for example, commit murder. Suicide prevention and raising awareness also involves removing the stigma and shame surrounding suicide. I'm so glad more people, especially young men, are talking about their mental health and seeking help.
Thank you Reece , You are helping and reaching so many people. The compulsion to suicide can be a hard demon to expel. You are reaching Australia. All your words are your greatest strengths.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful video. I think guys are feeling a little more ease to speak up about this way of living, the richness in both the pain and the joy. It always brings tears to my eyes when other survivors speak of the power of living and choosing life no matter what. You’re making a difference and I know you’ll continue to impact many more lives as the years roll by. Keep on keeping on x
I deal with depression and anxiety, I think of suicidal thoughts often enough. I feel even worse now because my beautiful father passed away from cancer on January 5th 2019. I am not the same person ever since he died and I never will be. I either can't sleep for 3 days or I end up sleeping for 20 hrs or so. And now there's the pandemic! I am just lost and empty. :(
You, my friend, are GOOD. You have a gift for drawing people in to perspective. Your story will resonate strongly to people who've been through similar and come through it. I think, you might have the ability to do the same with people still IN it, to help retune their perspective. Well done for, well, just.. continuing to exist. Take care.
Totally relate, so close recently. Still trying to crawl out the quick sand right now. Wish me luck I'm holding on. Thanks again for sharing your soul 💜
Yes, that quick sand phrase is one I use to describe that feeling, everyday is like swimming through quicksand. Tried to explain to one of my family members but have given up. I've been trying so hard for three years to get through to them about how I feel and how many people have issues related to depression etc but it's honestly a waste of breath and just causes arguments. It's like talking to a brick wall.
You are so right thanks for sharing this, I have very bad depression and anxiety and it runs in my family. I have an Uncle who tried to commit suicide and survived so this really touched me. He is definitely meant to be here he has also survived accidents where he could of easily died. I'm so glad he is alive he is a dear kind hearted man.❤
Was recommended to watch your videos. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ you are loved and here for a purpose. You have a very open nature about you, you really speak from your heart. A great daily affirmations “I want to be better, I want to be well” 💗
Wow Reece, This was so powerful! I love you bro, I am so glad I have had the privilege to know you personally! You are one of the best guys I have ever known and just being at uni with you made me a better person. This message is the thing I needed to celebrate my birthday with, it has been difficult but this has really helped me be thankful for today! :) Keep strong bro, you're amazing! :)
@@ReeceHendyy cheers mate! Yeah i havent been great at keeping in contact with people, i do miss them alot though, glad to see you are doing so well for yourself mate! Im always here for you too! :)
Such a powerful video! It’s so difficult to understand at the time, but it is transient, you’re right. Someone once told me that getting through the next 10 seconds, is all you need to do. I wholeheartedly support that notion. If you can get through the next 10 seconds, then you can get through the 10 seconds after that. There’s always a turning point if you can just get through those next 10 seconds. Thanks for sharing this, on behalf of all of us xx
I had suicidal thoughts for a while now. It first started when i was 13 years old, i tried to comit suicide but i was to scared. My mother found my diary and put me in a adolescent psychiatry. I got better after talking with someone, i was ”happy” until i turned 21..and experienced domestic violence and got PTSD, Im 29 turning 30 this summer.. and i still don’t feel ok. Its almost impossible to find a good psychiatrist here in Sweden, i just need to talk but all they just want to know is what kind of pills i need, they dont listen. It turned me very angry and so so so sad. I have insomnia because of the nightmares, I have felt so alone and i have had suicidal thoughts.. I found Your channel by chance scrolling.. and your videos hit me in the heart. Thankyou i dont feel alone in the same way. (Sorry for the bad spelling)
Most days my beautiful bpd girl wants to die. My words of comfort are useless. Sometimes it's hard to argue her logic. Her life is miserable. Her sense of self worth is so low. Her dad and I are so motivated to show her a life worth living but it's hard, very hard with her mindset. We walk on eggshells.We hide knives, rope, razors. ITS UNBEARABLY PAINFUL!..We love her so much..She is our only child..she is my life..I can't lose her..please, tell me what to say to her? what words would work?
Sadly there are no magic words for someone struggling the way she is. The best thing you can do is what you are already doing. Show her love, be willing to listen, ask her how she is doing and don't say things like "you shouldn't feel that way" or "thats not logical" etc. She just needs you to love and support her.
Never tell her that you walk on eggshells around her. That is a horrible feeling. There is a app borderline explained truth about bpd. It is amazing but please send me a Facebook msg and I will help you. Your daughters age is the same time I really started having more problems and self harm/suicide, anger was alot of my reactions to it all. But please send me a msg and I will talk to you about what you can do and I will listen. Your not alone! Josselyn Oliver
i don't think a RUclips video has ever made me cry before.. you have such a beautiful heart, and i want to believe you're right.. i try to keep in mind the people who love me, and how they'd be given the pain of loss that i feel.
To me it was very slightly different. I was terrified of falling lower, I was already worse off than I could have imagined and I didn't want to become even more pathetic. Shame is a powerful thing.
i am so proud of you and i hope that i can turn around too, youre a huge inspiration for me. Im 16 and ive missed nearly all of year 11 and currently have my gcse exams right now, half of which ive missed already. I dont even know if ill get into 6th form but im trying again. My first day back after months of staying at home was on friday last week, i went on monday and now im going to try and go today (wednesday). I overdosed in 2019 and 2020 but 2021 is overdose free so far. there is a life i want to get to, i want to put myself out there and i am trying, i am currently seeing a psychologist and doing my best to just get through exams. this comment is a mess but i just wanna say im really proud and happy for you and hearing you say that youve got a degree and had relationships and all sorts makes me really hopeful because for a while i was convinced that i would get/deserve nothing. lots of love
I remember very clearly the moment I gave up. You are very right. I would never wish that feeling on anyone. My feeling was I would be doing the world a good thing. Removing myself would make everyone else happier. It would finally free me from the bully in my head.
I have tried a few times nearly succeeded when my heart flat lined and needed to be defibrillated. I was spiralling out of control to my mum said I'd either end up dead or in jail so ye flat lined came back then ended up in jail 😐 😔 hateeee taking medication but it helps xxx
I'm glad you are still here, with a positive out look. WARNING POSSIBLE TRIGGER PLEASE ONLY READ IF YOU ARE IN A GOOD PLACE. I have had several attempts over the decades. Its weird how some people call us cowards n selfish, but everyone is usually a little afraid of death, and when you're in the grips of a idealisation you think everyone is better off without you dragging them down, so in my twisted mind I was doing the kind brave thing. IF ANYONE THINKS THIS INAPPROPRIATE PLEASE REPORT IT ASAP. My intent is not to hurt but to discuss and educate myself and hopefully others. Sorry if I cause anyone any stress, if you feeling low, lost, lonely seek help please. Peace to you all x
I am very hopelessly down these years especially after the narcissistic abuse, but I never had suicidal thoughts in my life and I don't have. But my heart takes it very hard. I have daily palpitations, heart squeezes, tachycardias and so on, but I know that any day amazing things can happen that can turn a life around and I keep trying, at least on the days when I am not absolutely depressed AF.
Imagine being addicted to benzodiazepines but you can't talk about it cuz you already lied to all the doctors that you don't need more than 1 per day. Like here there are legal consequences. imagine having multiple chronic illnesses that cause pain and fatigue but you can't get proper help. Imagine having no friends and receiving a small amount of money from the government every month. Btw I'm 33 so I'm not some angsty teen. My father is a pathological narcissist with a new family so he doesn't help and doesn't give a f*ck about me. I live inside a small coffin size apartment. Now what exactly is there to live for.
Feeling hopeless and depressed and suicidal is one of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced. You feel empty and dead and life feels pointless. My cats have really kept me here. I worry about who would take care of them if not for me so I have never gone to the extent of planning or writing a note but I have daydreamed about it and hoping that I would die. I am thankful of the life I have had but it makes me sad that I have so many emotional and psychological issues. Seems unfair.
Thank you for sharing. You are so handsome and lovely.
It's people like us that feels the worlds pain aswell as our own 💖
Totally agree with you there, every day 😥
The only thing that stops me from ending my life is failing at a suicide attempt. If I hung myself and didn't do it properly, I could potentially end up with brain damage, if I threw myself in front of a train, I could end up losing limbs and then forced to live out the rest of my life, disabled, constantly reminded of how I couldn't even get suicide right. I hope in a year from now, I won't be having these kind of thoughts. Cause A. no one really knows what to say to a suicidal person and B. there is no 100% way to get out of your suffering when you're in the suffering as we are all in uniquely difficult situations, but this video gave me hope, thank you.
You can live a better happier life, I promise x
@@ReeceHendyy Thank you, I want to get a semi colon tattoo, to mark my ultimate decision to not end the sentence that is my life but continue it.
I found a way that does it with 100% painless certainty. But it would destroy the lives of my family and friends until they die. My parents would never recover. I feel I have to remain alive in order to prevent other people being in pain. I don't want to live this way. I want to live because I want to feel like life is beautiful.
Out of all of the years in my life that I've spend feeling suicidal, this video and your words are the only ones to ever have made me feel something, to make me feel better even. the hours spent feeling stuck in numb anger, misery, and fear of my future, after listening to you I feel like I can take a breath. thank you. I'm sorry we understand each other.
♥️ I appreciate your vulnerability in your videos. Been feeling suicidal ideation since 2018 but haven't made plans. I take one day at a time
Keep doing your best my friend! I believe in you!
Mate, my old man passed away when I was young and I am BPD I related with you a lot and I appreciate you opening up. This is really helping me. Thanks.
I'm glad you survived 🤍
I get so very angry whenever I hear anyone say that suiside is selfish. I completely understand that for the people who are left behind, it can feel like it must be. Because until you are in that moment of choice, where you are in Such unbearable emotional pain that you are willing to end you life to make it stop. You could never possibly understand. ;; ; ; ;
“You are allowed to feel every emotion “ .... These words are so so true! Thank you for saying them! I’m so glad that you are still here. The world needs you! ✨
Thank you so much for sharing your story and talking so openly about suicide. I agree that suicide is not a selfish act. When someone is feeling that low they cant see any other way out from their pain and sheer hell of living. In my experience, its not that the person wants to die, they no longer want to feel the way they do! They desperately need help and support.
I would recommend a book I read recently "A Boy Between" written by Amanda Prowse and Josiah Hartley ( Mother and Son) They tell their story of attempted suicide with such honesty and openness. Amazing read!
Reece I hope you don't mind if I say here, suicide was decriminalised in the UK in 1961. This meant that people who survived an attempted suicide were no longer prosecuted. The act of suicide was no longer a criminal offence in British law. Yet we continue to talk about "committing suicide". If someone ends their life they haven't committed a crime. That's what criminals do, when they for example, commit murder.
Suicide prevention and raising awareness also involves removing the stigma and shame surrounding suicide. I'm so glad more people, especially young men, are talking about their mental health and seeking help.
Thank you Reece , You are helping and reaching so many people. The compulsion to suicide can be a hard demon to expel. You are reaching Australia. All your words are your greatest strengths.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful video. I think guys are feeling a little more ease to speak up about this way of living, the richness in both the pain and the joy.
It always brings tears to my eyes when other survivors speak of the power of living and choosing life no matter what. You’re making a difference and I know you’ll continue to impact many more lives as the years roll by.
Keep on keeping on x
Watching your videos is like looking in a in-house mirror...its unnerving honestly
I deal with depression and anxiety, I think of suicidal thoughts often enough. I feel even worse now because my beautiful father passed away from cancer on January 5th 2019. I am not the same person ever since he died and I never will be. I either can't sleep for 3 days or I end up sleeping for 20 hrs or so. And now there's the pandemic! I am just lost and empty. :(
You, my friend, are GOOD. You have a gift for drawing people in to perspective. Your story will resonate strongly to people who've been through similar and come through it. I think, you might have the ability to do the same with people still IN it, to help retune their perspective. Well done for, well, just.. continuing to exist. Take care.
Totally relate, so close recently. Still trying to crawl out the quick sand right now. Wish me luck I'm holding on.
Thanks again for sharing your soul 💜
Yes, that quick sand phrase is one I use to describe that feeling, everyday is like swimming through quicksand. Tried to explain to one of my family members but have given up. I've been trying so hard for three years to get through to them about how I feel and how many people have issues related to depression etc but it's honestly a waste of breath and just causes arguments. It's like talking to a brick wall.
You are so right thanks for sharing this, I have very bad depression and anxiety and it runs in my family. I have an Uncle who tried to commit suicide and survived so this really touched me. He is definitely meant to be here he has also survived accidents where he could of easily died. I'm so glad he is alive he is a dear kind hearted man.❤
Was recommended to watch your videos. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ you are loved and here for a purpose. You have a very open nature about you, you really speak from your heart. A great daily affirmations “I want to be better, I want to be well” 💗
Wow Reece, This was so powerful! I love you bro, I am so glad I have had the privilege to know you personally! You are one of the best guys I have ever known and just being at uni with you made me a better person. This message is the thing I needed to celebrate my birthday with, it has been difficult but this has really helped me be thankful for today! :) Keep strong bro, you're amazing! :)
Yo Liam. This is such a great message to receive! Happy Birthday you legend!!!! Life isnt easy, but you are precious. Im always just a message away
@@ReeceHendyy cheers mate! Yeah i havent been great at keeping in contact with people, i do miss them alot though, glad to see you are doing so well for yourself mate! Im always here for you too! :)
Such a powerful video! It’s so difficult to understand at the time, but it is transient, you’re right. Someone once told me that getting through the next 10 seconds, is all you need to do. I wholeheartedly support that notion. If you can get through the next 10 seconds, then you can get through the 10 seconds after that. There’s always a turning point if you can just get through those next 10 seconds. Thanks for sharing this, on behalf of all of us xx
You can still act and put your videos together tonal wise perfectly. You're talented.
Brother, you're my twin. I'm so proud of you. Wish to meet you one day
You are a beautiful human being. New sub here 💕🙏💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈
Holding on! 🙏 I am a survivor 💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜
Thank you Reece ..truly. So much respect for you.
I had suicidal thoughts for a while now. It first started when i was 13 years old, i tried to comit suicide but i was to scared. My mother found my diary and put me in a adolescent psychiatry. I got better after talking with someone, i was ”happy” until i turned 21..and experienced domestic violence and got PTSD, Im 29 turning 30 this summer.. and i still don’t feel ok. Its almost impossible to find a good psychiatrist here in Sweden, i just need to talk but all they just want to know is what kind of pills i need, they dont listen. It turned me very angry and so so so sad. I have insomnia because of the nightmares, I have felt so alone and i have had suicidal thoughts.. I found Your channel by chance scrolling.. and your videos hit me in the heart. Thankyou i dont feel alone in the same way. (Sorry for the bad spelling)
You need a psychologist both CBT and DBT
You are an amazing person! Thank you for being such an inspiration and willing to put your story out there for those that feel alone.
Most days my beautiful bpd girl wants to die. My words of comfort are useless. Sometimes it's hard to argue her logic. Her life is miserable. Her sense of self worth is so low. Her dad and I are so motivated to show her a life worth living but it's hard, very hard with her mindset. We walk on eggshells.We hide knives, rope, razors. ITS UNBEARABLY PAINFUL!..We love her so much..She is our only child..she is my life..I can't lose her..please, tell me what to say to her? what words would work?
Sadly there are no magic words for someone struggling the way she is. The best thing you can do is what you are already doing. Show her love, be willing to listen, ask her how she is doing and don't say things like "you shouldn't feel that way" or "thats not logical" etc. She just needs you to love and support her.
Never tell her that you walk on eggshells around her. That is a horrible feeling. There is a app borderline explained truth about bpd. It is amazing but please send me a Facebook msg and I will help you. Your daughters age is the same time I really started having more problems and self harm/suicide, anger was alot of my reactions to it all. But please send me a msg and I will talk to you about what you can do and I will listen. Your not alone! Josselyn Oliver
you are so greate and brave for putting his video out!!!
i don't think a RUclips video has ever made me cry before.. you have such a beautiful heart, and i want to believe you're right.. i try to keep in mind the people who love me, and how they'd be given the pain of loss that i feel.
To me it was very slightly different. I was terrified of falling lower, I was already worse off than I could have imagined and I didn't want to become even more pathetic. Shame is a powerful thing.
You've helped me better understand myself, and I appreciate your videos.
i am so proud of you and i hope that i can turn around too, youre a huge inspiration for me. Im 16 and ive missed nearly all of year 11 and currently have my gcse exams right now, half of which ive missed already. I dont even know if ill get into 6th form but im trying again. My first day back after months of staying at home was on friday last week, i went on monday and now im going to try and go today (wednesday). I overdosed in 2019 and 2020 but 2021 is overdose free so far. there is a life i want to get to, i want to put myself out there and i am trying, i am currently seeing a psychologist and doing my best to just get through exams. this comment is a mess but i just wanna say im really proud and happy for you and hearing you say that youve got a degree and had relationships and all sorts makes me really hopeful because for a while i was convinced that i would get/deserve nothing. lots of love
Thank you for sharing.
You will succeed , we will try ❤
Thanks for sharing your story, being so open, and helping others, bless ya!
Your the first person to say it's not selfish, I agree
I remember very clearly the moment I gave up. You are very right. I would never wish that feeling on anyone. My feeling was I would be doing the world a good thing. Removing myself would make everyone else happier. It would finally free me from the bully in my head.
Thank you for sharing xx
Thank you for giving me hope and a reason to keep going.
Thank you🙏
I would literally do anything to have Nolan back .
but all I want is to not be alive! I want to so much. 53 yrs in and I am over it
Thank You
I have tried a few times nearly succeeded when my heart flat lined and needed to be defibrillated. I was spiralling out of control to my mum said I'd either end up dead or in jail so ye flat lined came back then ended up in jail 😐 😔 hateeee taking medication but it helps xxx
I'm glad you are still here, with a positive out look.
WARNING POSSIBLE TRIGGER
PLEASE ONLY READ IF YOU ARE IN A GOOD PLACE.
I have had several attempts over the decades.
Its weird how some people call us cowards n selfish, but everyone is usually a little afraid of death, and when you're in the grips of a idealisation you think everyone is better off without you dragging them down, so in my twisted mind I was doing the kind brave thing.
IF ANYONE THINKS THIS INAPPROPRIATE PLEASE REPORT IT ASAP.
My intent is not to hurt but to discuss and educate myself and hopefully others.
Sorry if I cause anyone any stress, if you feeling low, lost, lonely seek help please.
Peace to you all x
My big brother killed himself October 6th 2019 so devastated it's all I think about
I am very hopelessly down these years especially after the narcissistic abuse, but I never had suicidal thoughts in my life and I don't have. But my heart takes it very hard. I have daily palpitations, heart squeezes, tachycardias and so on, but I know that any day amazing things can happen that can turn a life around and I keep trying, at least on the days when I am not absolutely depressed AF.
it's crazy how when you were rapping you had no accent.
I want to effect the world positively.
I want to be alive again.
Fair play lad know how u feel bpd is a bitch but itll never beat us
Please dont do it again you're lovely
Imagine being addicted to benzodiazepines but you can't talk about it cuz you already lied to all the doctors that you don't need more than 1 per day. Like here there are legal consequences. imagine having multiple chronic illnesses that cause pain and fatigue but you can't get proper help. Imagine having no friends and receiving a small amount of money from the government every month. Btw I'm 33 so I'm not some angsty teen. My father is a pathological narcissist with a new family so he doesn't help and doesn't give a f*ck about me. I live inside a small coffin size apartment. Now what exactly is there to live for.
❤
Life is bad
so
suicide behaves are normal
Fact
Are you acting?
Thank you🙏