If you are feeling unhappy or unmotivated, watch this.
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- Опубликовано: 25 сен 2023
- Let's talk about quiet quitting. We hear the term a lot, especially as it relates to work. But we can quit quit anything, essentially lose motivation on proceeding forward, trying our best, giving effort. And oftentimes we can see this when it comes to life. We find ourselves getting into a pattern of just going through the motions, not having passion or motivation to do life - or not finding joy or happiness in life - or not feeling rewarded throughout the week, month, day whatever it may be. The truth is there are many reasons that we may feel this way, and begin quit quitting on life or maybe we feel so overwhelmed and burnt out that we can't do it anymore and give up - and trust me when I say you're not alone. In this video I'm talking you through the reasons you may feel unmotivated or stuck in life, causing you to be unhappy or not finding happiness in your day. Have you experienced this? What has helped you to prevent you from quiet quitting on life?
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I don't know about quiet quitting, but I've stopped running myself into the ground trying to do things that ultimately don't matter.
Ok, but that kind of raises a question: what DOES matter in the long run? I find it hard to find any. I mean if you give anything a long enough time, it won't matter.
i mean yeah I kind of agree. Which means nothing is worth sacrificing my or my children's physical or mental health for...not meaning I don't do anything. Just...I stop when I'm running out of physical or mental energy.
I think running yourself into the ground for things YOU think matter is okay, but it's just as important to recognize WHY they matter to you, and only put in as much effort as (a) how much they matter, and (b) how feasible they are. It's also perfectly fine to have something that's very important to you now but is not so important later, and then adjust your speed, tempo, and effort accordingly. As we live, our priorities evolve and change; you're not a computer.
I quit 90% of just about everything, but the very basics. I have no television service, but only an antenna. No phone service, no cellular service, go nowhere but work and back in my work vehicle. I stay in the house otherwise. I put my ugly rosd car into storage in my garage with engine storage foam and took the battery out, drained fuel. I only use the work vehicle. I quit buying things, save food, and do not listen to the radio anymore. I barely watch the teli. Life is just so meaningless.
My sentiments exactly. There are only a few key things that really matter. All the rest is mostly frustrating busy-work. I'm 63, and "been around the block".... It's amazing what you discover about things when you can look back . Most things that we let enslave us really do not matter in the long run.
Not going above and beyond is not quitting or "quiet quitting." It's doing what you are responsible for and nothing more because employers aren't compensating people for "going above and beyond." We really have to stop using the term "quiet quitting" to describe people who are still doing their job.
"Not going above and beyond". Doing our job with no enthusiam for the work itself, apart from the remuneration or compensation that we receive. That sounds like a sad life. Does the ledger of life always have to be so carefully balanced? Or should we always be striving toward getting a little more, or even a lot more remuneration, than the amount of effort that we put in? In other words, should we always be in debt to our employer, who has, in that sense, paid us more than our contribution is worth.
While I am 'here' {in the comments under Kati's video}, and enjoy the insights that Kati offers, I do have issues that I face in my life, maybe it is because I always like to give a "baker's dozen", that little bit more, so the ledger is in my favour; I am owed a little more than I have received for my effort.
However, I do not think that there is really a connection between the negative issues in my life and my desire to give a little more.
What is a bakers dozen and why?
noun. a group of 13; a dozen plus one: from the former practice among bakers and other tradespeople of giving 13 items to the dozen as a safeguard against penalties for short weights and measures. The penalties in the 16th century were severe, particularly for staple goods such as bread. I would like to think that, these days, there are more altruistic reasons for giving the "baker's dozen".
Exactly. Employers are angry employees refused to be used for their profits these days. Pay more, get more.
Think you guys are missing one key point and I won't go in to that as its stated in the video which apparently you never watched lol
@@albeatuberr I watched the whole video before commenting, so what is your "key point"?
It's not my key point is it lol it's in the video don't stew for too long
I haven't quite quit. I totally gave up. I wake up, take a shower, walk 10 feet to my desk, work 8 hours, sit on my porch, come back in, watch TV, maybe read, go to bed, Repeat. I may be dead and I don't know it.
You ok there, James?
we live the same life.
That is why I will not work from home. I do not know your situation but for me going to the office and meeting collegues is really important. Als I started jogging in the morning. Just 20 to 30 minutes. It is not always fun but I do feel better afterwards.. Still everyday is little struggle because I never found my dream job.
That kind of isolation is not healthy, like some answers below, contact with others is necessary. I hope you find a way to cope.
I wanna quit living.
Most people quiet quit because their hard work is rewarded with more hard work instead of more pay. I’ve had plenty of jobs where I worked my butt off and was always the one my boss counted on to step up when needed. I never got raises or promotions even though I worked so hard. So I stopped and asked myself, “why am I working so hard when it gets me nowhere? Why am I working so hard to make my boss rich when my paychecks aren’t getting any bigger?”
Yup- hard work is rewarded with...more hard work, no expression of appreciation and no compensation.
Why do I feel like this comment describes my daily life (not even work related, just life in general)
Yeah 24 years in the same job and I give what I can but nothing more. I don't go to work on my days off when they try to call me in. I even refuse to be a supervisor because it's just more work but no raise. I make just as much as what I made 24 years ago too. So, right now I'm taking courses online to learn a skill, and change my own life. It's time to shed the past, and move forward.
Extreme greed and treating us all like disposable robots is unethical. Look for companies such as employee-owned, cooperatives, and profit-sharing programs. We need to reach critical mass and make corporations a thing of the past.
This comment should be pinned.
Tbh, I’m at a point where if I don’t wake up tomorrow, I’ll be fine with that.
Life is just a dull gray for me.
It’s only a matter of time.
I just don’t see the point of it all.
I' am right there with you. I feel so unloved by God and man. The last 5 years of my life has been tragic.
YES! This is exactly how I feel. I won’t unalive myself, but if it’s my time to go, I’m fine. Over the last few years, the light- the magic- in the world has gone.
I hope you have all reconnected with yourselves since the time you wrote this. I’d like to recommend Dr. Nicole LePera’s channel to you. She’s really been helping me get out of that place.
Same
Me too.
This is me. I've lost all my motivation. I may be breathing but I'm not living, I've never had that zest for life.🥺
Praying 🙏 for you sweetheart! I here you and feel you! You are WORTH IT. ❤
You deserve to be happy...it is hard to believe sometimes but do something that used to make you happy. Branch out and make more/ better friends who care.
I had to go back in my mind the time that I was most happy. I went back to when I was 17 and remembered what made me happy and started doing it.
Friend, that's a terrible place to be. I hope you can find your way out. The hardest step is the first.
@@christineleatherwood7987making “friends who care” Is actually the hardest thing to do! I have not been fortunate enough to find anyone who cares. They usually only care about themselves and their image/status, etc. That is what gets me so depressed in the first place. It is a true blessing to have genuine friendships.
quiet quitting is a term coined to describe employees doing their jobs
This isn't a new phenomenon, just new corporate jargon to gaslight workers.
If performing the agreed duties of your job is quiet quitting, then paying your employees the agreed amount is quiet firing, and failing to promote them is quiet demotion.
omg lol!!!
Perfect comment!
And there you have the minimum wage economy and businesses that base their model on it. Minimum wage combined with demanding, anti-social shift work equals fatigue, poor sleep, poor exercise and poor diet, IE a life that can hardly be considered satisfying.
It’s not historically true though. Writing down legally the minimum job requirements is fairly new. Before you just had to do what we the boss said. And as soon as it started exist a form of striking was created called work-to-rule where people only did the legal minimum. It’s effective.
100% Yes! You're paid to do your job. Speaking up at meetings, attending "extra curricular" events and volunteering for extra projects is doing more work for no extra pay. Totally not worth it. I've got many years of experience in this; volunteering for extra work but never seeing any extra appreciation or pay, dutifully working over time only to be taken advantage of. No thanks. You paid me to do a job....I do the job. Don't expect more. You want more, write it up in the job description, and adjust my benefits to match.
It's not Quiet Quitting. It's no longer being taken advantage of.
I quit life long ago. I am just going through the motions until the end. I did not ask to be born. It was forced on me. I do not appreciate something I did not want. For some, life may be some sort of a gift. For more of us, it is a sentence.
Can totally relate to this. It isn't like we were asked hey this is what life is and that will also include pain and then asked, would you like in or do you opt out. This might be a little bit far but I sometimes think that some parents have children just to give their own life meaning and for something to focus on, which is kinda selfish when you think about it.
You are correct.
@@bathsheba9581 I hope your sentence passes gently, fellow inmate. Rest assured, we will return to being non-existent again! Then our consciousness will return to nothing. I have served about 3/5ths of my sentence.
I want to pin your comment on every billboard. AMEN! Man has ruined life worth living!
I'm starting to try to pull self up and peep over the edge at a happier life, but there's a lot of fog on the battle ground. Somedays the fog is so thick I can not see a point to my life. Those are the days I stay hunkered down for hours playing little games on my tablet or feeling guilty for buying more craft supplies that I don't use. I do wonder, "What's the point?." I'm in my mid 70s and I'm tired of dealing with life. Yet, I keep trying.
I am increasingly at odds with how this world works. Just the absolute selfishness in how it is run. The suffering that those in power inflict is so incredibly wearing on the psyche. No wonder people are quiet quitting.
I just go through the motions of life now. I do what I am supposed to do but absolutely no more. I am not going to be taken advantage of again, work-wise, socially, emotionally, spiritually. If this means I have no friends, so be it. More importantly, I will have no enemies no opportunists in my life.
extreme greed is unethical. Many companies need to stop treating people like disposable robots. All of us can look for work at different companies such as cooperatives, employee-owned companies, and profit-sharing programs.
'Quiet Quitting' is a shaming tactic - 'Working Your Wage' is more apt.
Maslow's foundations are intrinsically tied to socioeconomic status.
With hugely increased cost-of-living, cost of education, interests rates etc, there is little opportunity to try new things or have new experiences. You can't realize or actualize your dreams if you spend your days exhausting yourself working your main job + side gig just to pay rent and keep your belly full.
"Will I ever own a home? Have housing security?"
"Will I ever have children? Raise them happy, healthy, well-adjusted?"
"Will I ever progress? Will there be supports and reward at the end?"
People are reevaluating what brings them happiness and fulfillment in a get-rich-or-die, unsafe, unstable, fool's paradise-y environment. 'Quiet Quitting on life' is part of that process.
While this video does offer 'steps in the right direction' concerning Mental Health, it doesn't acknowledge the capital-labour conflict at the root of it all.
this
True. These days most people are just struggling to survive & get their families and/or themselves through each day.
💯💯💯
I could hug you lol thank you for this comment!
Well said 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I've been "quiet quitting" on life since I was like 9 because I'm stuck in a situation where I have basically no control over what happens to me and putting in effort is pretty much pointless. I'm 22 now and my entire life is just doing the bare minimum to stay alive
quiet quitting the world is a return to god
Well I hope you get some good luck
Much love. You will get there
We'll never have control but we can get to a point where we're managing the waves and can finally give up on trying to control it.
But sometimes the waves are too big and it isnt our fault
Quiet quitting is a disgusting term when used to describe employees doing the bare minimum when paid the bare minimum. You get what you pay. However, it kinda hurt when u feel like doing it in your personal life.
I feel you. Not even a minute in the video and I'm like that's me with everything. Having ADHD with mild OCD and being on the spectrum, mad it kinda hard to do what was expected of me, especially since I was untreated until I hit 23... I'm now in the process of stopping it, but it takes a lot of effort. For me it's a job I enjoy and a sport I enjoy. I ride my bike for about 50 minutes total for commute. My biggest problem at work was always being late. My current employer doesn't care so much about it, as long as the job gets done, so I'm happy with it.
I'm sure that for you it will be something different. But you will make it eventually. We are both still young. Small increments, will hopefully amount to a lot more in the future!
Yep. I've been quiet quitting for a long, long time. It doesn't matter how hard I work, I don't get what I need. I don't care what others have. I spend NO TIME on insta or tik tok.
I make purchases to keep shoes on my feet and food in my home. Nothing is good or rewarding, it's all survival and trying to avoid pain.
quiet quitting the world is a return to god
That’s sadly life in this capitalist hellscape… :(
@@grindsaur modern hellscape
I understand bc I don’t buy anything at all except bare necessities. I still work extremely hard at work bc I never want to lose my job. My job is the only thing I have in my life
Uh .... sure. There are false needs. Like shopping for no reason. And there are REAL needs. The wealth inequality gap is larger & larger every year. How many folks have 4 good tires, an oil change, and enough money for gas, all at the same time? A lot of us are white-knuckling it through the day, have worked our asses off, and we're still broke. Minimum wage no longer offers ANYONE in the USA enough to rent a small, clean 1-bedroom apartment within reasonable travel distance to that job. We're dying out here. And we feel despair. We've been talking about recycling & climate change for 40 years, and hardly anything has changed. We all watched living, breathing citizens of the USA die on video, multiple times. We rally, petition, vote, and protest. Our needs are not met. The future is bleak. Most of us are struggling with the skyrocketing grocery prices. It's scary.
It's all by Design. To break the middle class. The last three years have been nothing but psychological Warfare, and fear-mongering to Cripple us
At 66, I have quit quietly on life. I have hundreds of books, DVDs and CDs. People have disappointed me greatly and I have little patience for most. I find more satisfaction in a good movie or book than with chatting with a person. When I was 60, I looked 45 but in the last 3 yrs, my looks faded fast as if time caught with me and beat the crap out of me. I was devastated as people always made a big deal of my looks and I felt as if I lost my superpower so I became a bit of a recluse.
the world inside your mind is always better than the one without...
You feel entitled to a superpower. I wish I just wasn’t allergic to things literally 97 times a day. Things that are unnecessary and people do for fun. And won’t stop when I ask them to because it’s literally hurting me. Wish I could level up to wishing I wasn’t ugly.
At school as a child l was the top every year not only of the class but the school. I excelled in every subject.. In my teens l was poisoned with mercury and the birth defect of spinabifida kicked in destroying my powers of concentration at a time when l needed them especially. I ended up losing much of my motivation and ended up class dunce. I never recovered nor got used to being a mediocrity after being such a high flyer. I'm old now and it's all been a waste of time.
Having dvd and cds physicaly is nice.
A good way to pass time.
Thanks ,Jon
My work this morning had the audacity to ask about incentives they can offer us to meet our goals. This is after they decided to not give anyone a cost of living raise this year 🙄 I’m a full time WFH with two kids, a spouse who recently had knee surgery and needs to be cared for and we just moved so setting up an entire home and getting it livable with four children total. To say I’ve been stressed and overwhelmed lately is an understatement. My mental health hasn’t suffered yet but I’m sure it’s coming. We’re all trying to keep our heads above water, but at least I know I’m not the only one stretched to my max.
My advice to you is to work on your expenditure in coming months. Sometimes we'll not be able to manage things to stay the same. Also get emotional support through your spouse, they'll be happy to feel needed and you'll get through the hardships.
Stay strong sister.
AKA "how can we get more work out of you without paying you for it?" I'm sorry.
I've quiet quit life because in this society, expressing any real desire to actively quit life will land you locked up without your shoelaces. Life just is too hard. It's an unending treadmill of work or poverty. Add in aging and the health problems of middle age and older, trying to afford treatment for a mental illness so you won't end up jobless... it's just not worth it. Not with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. It's just too hard.
Happy to say im at 0 hours in IG or TikTok. RUclips though ..... 🤷♂️😅
Same. I don't even have them installed on my phone.
I've been watching a lot of RUclips too, but don't feel bad about watching videos like this because they help with my personal growth!
@@joshliam1967not really brotha. Even youtube is all consumption. We think we grow, but we most likely dont
Same. I don't even have a TikTok account. I look at posts on IG maybe once a month if I get an email saying hey, so and so posted, but I spend less than a minute on that site a month. RUclips though ... Lol
Same no TikTok or IG, Twitter, FB, installed on my phone don't need them, don't want them, RUclips however I shutter to think how much time I spend on here..lol and it's not looking at shorts either.. it's whole videos.
People are tired of working there life away and getting nowhere for it but seeing the big corporations continue to beat higher and higher profit margines. To be successful today is much harder than it has ever been. There are more hurdles and hoops to jump through just to achieve the same levels of things as people did 40 years ago and there is a disproportionate amount of what we get back out of our work. Somethings got to give, people are fed up.
I thrive on chaos. I love to fight, work hard, yell, get angry, smile, laugh, hate, love, worry, you name it. My mother is the same way, and she's 90, and has never had cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, athritis, nothing. Same with my 68-year-old sister. Chaos in in our blood, and somehow we're all the better for it. We'll live our tranquil lives, when we're six feet under.
100% feel this, after awhile of living in a society that very very blatantly is bias against people with mental health issues, you start to evaluate your life an chase what others have who seems happy. You just sorta stop one by one looking to date, looking to go out with friends an looking for work.
And eventually it poisons your hobbies as they all feel very pointless even though they're fulfilling a need it just becomes as you say overwhelming and that anchors you to a spot in life were you're going through the motions, get up, exist, go to sleep. Repeat.
You have described my life exactly.
This. I hope we can create change bc we don't deserve this🤍
Hope things improve for you soon @@jntj3007
same, though in the UK things are only getting worse tbh. @@brookels66
To anyone feeling like this I hope things get better for you
❤️🩹
Woof. I recently completed almost three years of trauma therapy and was feeling very proud of that work and all the progress I’ve made. Doing this life pie though… it’s a single spike that represents work.
I thought being kind to myself was such a huge achievement, but I’m not really caring for myself, and I have considerable work to do more than just work.
Simply being “not cruel” to yourself is not the same as being kind to yourself, caring for yourself. I’d never treat someone I loved like this. Big wake up call.
I’m retired but I find my self laying off things that make life livable. I only found out lately all the previous diagnoses of my mental health difficulties was not bipolar, etc but Adult ADHD. It fits me like a glove. I am addressing it but at my age I feel life is still a heavy burden. I’m alone, among many people. I’m losing family members to cancer, etc, have little contact with those still here. Getting older isn’t for the timid.
old age is a curse....unless you're rich...
Money can’t buy good health. I mean things that are incurable.
I got off ALL social media in 2019 and I've noticed that I feel peaceful, content, and only compare myself to my yesterday's self. People, get off all the mind numbing comparison traps and start to live your REAL life.❤
Isn't RUclips social media though
I am absolutely quiet quitting life. But it is deliberate. Eastern philosophy tells you to embrace impermanence and die before you die. We live in quite easily diagnosable insanity. I live off grid. I grow most of my own food. I am kicking the dirt from my shoes. Our society is irredeemable and at 61, I deserve a happiness beyond the psychosis of our culture.
PS: I did The Artist’s Way. I have been doing morning pages for 2 years. That is why I have dropped out. The creative spirit, was seriously direct with me.
you're living off grid and grow most of your food. I would say you are doing things right.
I am from the East (India). Embracing impermanence and dying before you die are two very different things. Dying before you die is cowardice. Don't they say that a coward dies several times before his death? Show me where Eastern philosophy tells you to die before you die.
👍 I'm quietly quitting this screwed up social experiment called 'America'. I'm 68 years of age and am tired of the BS.
I don't want to have anything, just the basics.... Security and being loved and protected. As a woman, born to the world.
I've been quiet quitting for the past 30+ years. Been getting therapy for the past year... and I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.
Therapy did more harm to me than not having it. It is doubtful I will ever return. Therapy is for social people. I am not social. I hate talking to others.
@@indridcold8433same.
@@indridcold8433it eapexially hurt me since only therapy i had is when i was 14... so they ahd to legally tell my mom what i said... and. Well... yeah complaining about the fact my mother is toxic and bullying me then resulted in me getting more severare punishments. Since then i was scared to twll anyone if smth bothers me
Why did therapy harm you?!
@@indridcold8433 Agreed. For me, it’s too confronting face-to-face. I’d like to find a therapist who will allow me to lay on a couch and process. That way I can pretend I’m not talking directly to them.
While I totally agree that self-improvement is definitely important, I don't think it's possible to underestimate the impact of what is essentially the decline of modern society, and the fact that, politically and socially speaking, things will be worse every day from here on out. Why spend time to invest in the future when there clearly isn't one.
Politics and Society have nothing to do with your future. That is all theatre. YOU/WE create our future.
I totally agree this world makes me so so sad every day and I feel so sorry for my children. So far, I have convinced them to not have children in this evil world boy I miss the good all days before technology too.
@@OutHereOnTheFlatsWhat about all the politics going on right now trying to stop groups of people from even existing? That's a hell of a lot of futures. Or the fact that the earth is getting more unlivable every year? In what way do these have nothing to do with people's future? Zoom in a bit and you hit politics that keeps vast swathes of people trapped living paycheck to paycheck and not able to work toward anything, forcing kids to be parents in their early teens, and so much more. These absolutely have everything to do with people's futures.
I'm interested in knowing if women are also aware society is rapidly going down hill! It's been done under the heading of liberalism but it's anything but liberal.
I think I have quietly quit, my cats and my Mom are my only motivations...Thanks Kati!
If I didn't have my bunny and my mom I feel I'd quiet quit for real!
😺❤️😺 I agree!
My circle is almost non-existant.....all I have is work...and that is dropping off...thought I was the only one..
I'm quietly quitting. From here on out I do what I feel makes me happy. Life is too short.❤️ Wish me luck 🍀
I started quiet, quitting at my job many years ago. It became extremely apparent that those that went above and beyond not only didn't get financially compensated for it, but they were suddenly expected to do it all the time no matter what. It wasn't worth it. And now I do feel myself quiet, quitting, and life in general. Our society is so messed up I've lost hope in humanity. Nothing but bad news and conflict all day every day. I don't spend any time on TikTok or Instagram. Only have a Facebook page because I'm required to for my job because they somehow think that's the only way they can communicate with people is through Facebook. Spend a little time on RUclips but doing a Solis. Getting away from human beings Seems to be the only way to deal with day-to-day life anymore. The more people I know the less I like.
What you said in the first 6 lines in regards to work, was so true. Not only did your employer expect it, other employèes, who didn't go above and beyond, socialized, caught up on social media, without being reprimanded, and made all kinds if errors (many that i corrected), and kissed ass to bosses, and got promoted. The only nice thing, I retired and still run into some of my clients, who tell me they miss me, and the place is just not the same anymore.
This also depends if you have sufficient already. I hadn't realised that I was quiet quitting life, but long term severe depression can be draining.
quiet quitting the world is a return to god
My depression and anxiety is completely draining and I think it creates health issues.
I quit on caring about things that I can't change. Now I feel much more happy. We're told or expected to care about all of these stupid things that we can't change or influence and the only thing we get out of these things is sadness and misery. I basically fell into stoicism without realizing it because it makes so much sense to me.
Stoic always worked for me, then I started Sharing my feelings AND so forth, now worst for i!
@@oneseeker2 I don't interpret stoicism as not sharing feelings. I share my feelings all the time--I've made amazing progress in therapy. You may be thinking of stoicism as someone who just represses their feelings and pretends nothing is wrong. The philosophy of stoicism is so much different than that, and definitely not about suppression--it's more about letting go. You can't let a feeling go without feeling it first (important!). At its core, it's about trying keep your thoughts and emotions centered on the things that you can change and influence directly. Think of the Christian serenity prayer and even mindfulness meditation where you accept a thought or feeling exists then let it go on its way.
So basically, quiet quitting is doing what you are being paid to do and no extra? That's called fulfilling your contract.
Not speaking up in meetings is doing what you’re paid to do?
Used to be called 'work to rule'.
I’m in Austin Texas right now. So much suffering in this town due to homelessness. It’s just heartbreaking how those in power do so little to make life better for others.
i just want to be prescribed adderall already. i want to know what it's like to not have brain fog, and to be able to think of words and actually say them, and be able to receive what is being said to me, instead of floating around in space.
Everyone's experience with adderall is different, but as someone who recently got diagnosed with ADHD and recently started taking adderall, it's not as life changing as I had hoped. It definitely does help, but I find the differences to be not that significant. But again, this is just my personal experience.
You must change your poor lifestyle habits than take adderall ❤
@@ambersexton517 perhaps have a chat with your psych about combining a non stimulant med with your Adderall, and stay on a low dose of both. Also remember to take tolerance breaks! ☺️
@@SweetUareDesiI don't think you understand how executive function works.
YES!! Omg
I’m not quitting on life, but I feel it’s quitting me. My friends never want to get together or travel at all. So I’ve gone places solo and even trips abroad alone, but it’s lonely just being on your own. Why don’t more people want to do things and get out there?? It’s always me periodically making contact, calling, suggesting just to keep the lines of communication open. But it’s not appreciated, nor reciprocated. There are a few things holding me back such as pet care as well. I love animals, but then they need me. I can’t just be spontaneous and jet off to Montana and disappear. I’d love to break free and get out there with human beings!
Maybe your friends are struggling with their own issues. It's not always about you or me. Maybe they have financial problems or health issues you don't know about? 🤔🤔
make new friends while on travel. Or Find a common theme among friends and do that often. It sure feels lonely when it's only us taking the initiative... Feel proud to make initiative regardless
@@mynamenotgiven5717 while that's usually true, if people don't make the effort to be in your life, you have to drop them. Don't guilt OC, or anyone for finding people that appreciate them and reciprocate. It's draining being the initiator, moreso than deliberately isolating yourself
Maybe they don't have the resources to keep up with you. Like money, or free time.
My friends could never understand that I just can't "get Saturday off." They wouldn't have HIRED me in the first place, if they weren't open on Saturdays.
Maybe your friends just don't want to die or become disabled due to COVID?
life is the thief of joy!
And staying sane is a punishment.
Thank you for this. Needed this reminder. A few years ago, I went through a divorce while pastoring a small church. In a blink of an eye, I lost my marriage and church. Took me years to not play the comparison game with others and I felt like giving up because of the pain. I’m in therapy and doing the work I need to do for my joy.
Life is just one long Groundhog Day....no interests, no fun, no joy/happiness...just work, bills, and errands
I am so unmotivated, that it was a struggle just to watch this video.
I've always done more than I should have, and I just stopped doing it because it's running me ragged. Everyone expects me to do my part and go above and beyond, but they can't do their part. I stopped doing it. I'm tired of busting my 🍑 to get nowhere and Everyone else has moved forward or moved to someplace better. I got tired of that bullshit.
Oh "nice" seeing I'm not alone. Lost 15 years of my life because of bpd father, ensuing parental issues, and parentification, waking up at 30 only to run into a bpd girl that destroyed me emotionnally, followed by 10 years of life presenting me what I desire only to take it away when I start believing I'd get it. Now at more that 40 my life hasn't started yet and I don't even know where to start anymore. At some point, to protect itself from suffering or disillusion, the mind just stops having dreams and desires.
Before paralysis sets in.. o man I know that feeling. Balancing my needs is so much easier than trying to get motivated after I’m in the hole but sometimes I do let myself go and I always suffer the consequences. My life always feels like work to me that’s not living. Sometimes I live in the moment but most of the time I’m not, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
9:43 The tid bit on non-negotiables is touching and all, but I think this idea that you can set something as a nonnegotiable for YOU, doesn't necessarily mean the universe and all who inhabit and share space with you also adhere to your personal rules. People have families and children and a PLETHORA of other socially-tied obligations that can't really wait for you to have your brunch with the girlies, or your 2-hour daily gym routine. I think allowing yourself to accept and embrace that the world is NOT designed to give all that you need and even want, will help you to have a more comprehensive perspective of your place in this universe, and what you can actually work on controlling from there.
Idk, just some unsolicited food for thought as someone who's had this conversation with mental health professionals for years now and grows slightly lowkey exhausted from this conversation's cyclical nature in the zeitgeist of mental health and wellness.
Also, you can *try* to make the argument that setting nonnegotiables in your life as the first step is then followed by communicating with everyone in your life about said nonnegotiables, but I honestly beg you: think of one, just ONE person, in your personal life who isn't going to be understanding enough about your needs. Simply *deciding* to have that conversation did not change anything about that person's predisposition. You cannot control other people's responses or willingness to understand. Now, proceed to imagine that one person is your spouse or partner, who you share many things in life with, or a parent, who governs many aspects of your life for the first portion of it, or a overly expectant boss who is too dependent on your work ethic to get things done. The proposition about nonnegotiables FAILS to account for the pragmatic application into one's personal life, because we cannot seemingly let ourselves accept how much a part of the universe we are, just as much as anyone or anything else. We ALL feel obligated to keep pushing, even when we engage in quiet quitting behaviors. Where is the RUclips videos talking about the actual hard parts and difficult feelings associated with this conversation?
My issue with her comment on non-negotiables is that people often place that bar too high. Is it "really important" that you go to the gym? Or is it "non-negotiable"? So, if a family member was hit by a car, would you say you need to go to the gym instead of helping them, because you classed it as "non-negotiable"?
I struggle to believe that anything beyond the bottom layer of Maslow's Hierarchy can be non-negotiable. For me, breathing is a non-negotiable. If you insist on me giving it up, I'm going to die in just a few minutes. Even eating is negotiable. I can put off a meal (or several) if something more important comes along.
Agree!
I had to stop and have a moment after I saw the phrase "quiet quitting on life" because it is too accurate of what I have been doing. I study full time and work full time but I do the bare minimum on both and nothing else in life...and I'm always tired. Thank you for this video.
I have been depressed for over 25 years and I’m only 35. Life just gets more and more stressful. And while I have made a few suicidal attempts, it’s been almost a year since that happened and they never happened before the pandemic. But even before 2020, I kinda had this feeling that I was slowly dying or slowly committing suicide. And the worse part is that it is so slow. I’m finally realized that just like you can get get hell on earth, you can get heaven on earth too. But it’s still not the same as actually being in heaven. One thing that has helped me immensely with my depression is spending time with other people in church. Especially churches that specialize in mental health. But I was really disappointed when church was canceled yesterday and no one told me. But I also went to a different church tonight and it was amazing. Keep trying to find what you need. It’s been a difficult journey, but I am so happy that I have made it this far.
For me it's "Acceptance", not perfection. Success as a retiree is; " I made it" now, I can start relaxing more & enjoying life & it's simple pleasures. I accept life isn't perfect and I'm here to live. I'm not here to compete, or live in luxury. I accept all things as they are now & I don't want to push for more. What a relief and calm feeling that brings. Live life, with or without the "extras".
I did the exercise, my life pie has a dot right in the middle at the moment.
Mine too - with a fine point pen!
For those that think that there nothing else, I want to tell you to try to find a church that you have a community to be part of. I am by myself with my 89 yo mom whom I take care of, and my church is like a great big family. We are there for each other. Plus Jesus lives you, seek Him and you will be surprised on the difference that faith and gratitude makes. Blessings to all.❤
I know where I am I have retired but still work and have depression and anxiety, which I am on meds for. I also still work by caring for my mother-in-law who is very difficult to deal with and like to aggravate me to no end. There are also monetary issues that even when bankruptcy is paid off I will be in the same situation due to medical bills. I have no motivation at all and just want to walk away and be left alone, but I am always being told I need to do this or that around the house and seem to never get anywhere with it!!! I am just sick and tired!!!!
"Quiet quitting" already had a name for decades prior to Covid: Work to Rule.
This is more than a self issue. Our society has become insufferable. Inflation, politics, inequality, racism, and the list goes on. Its become hard to live day to day. Most of this is brought on by a failing government system. As people, we need more than personal healing, but societal healing. And the government needs a complete overhall or we will continue to hurt.
Great message Kati , been there done that . Mostly with me I have to stop thinking about the enormity of situations , work , etc otherwise I'm ready to crawl back into bed . You have to play it one moment at a time ,stop worrying what others think they don't have your life or your circumstances either.
This is very validating. I appreciate your taking the time to make this video. I spend most of my day trying to figure out how to heal my brain so I can function better more consistently and I really feel like the resources you provided here will help. I plan to try to print myself out some charts to see on a regular basis so I can be prompted to check in from time to time . Having a checklist to see where I might be deficit before paralysis sets in will give me some much needed self--sufficiency until I can obtain a therapist.
Katie, I think your words are very wise! Yes, I’m 65 and feel like why bother at this point. In the past I always served in children’s ministry and really miss it a lot. But we moved three years ago and just can’t find a community we want to worship with here. It’s difficult living in a very over populated city. I feel safer at home. Rarely go anywhere. PS - your blouse is beautiful
I've been working on this kind of thing for a while because it was really impacting how I felt and acted. My advice to my past self would be something like "keep listening to what actually worked for others" because we are all unhappy sometimes, but not all of us are convinced we'll be permanently unhappy, or even unhappy for the rest of the day. It helps long-term to work on those six areas, but in the short term, it can help to just laugh at something and feel our mood change to something more hopeful
I Quiet Quit Life in 2011. A promise to my Mother kept me from fully quitting. Up to that point, I had nearly reached Self-Actualization, but outside influences prevented it. In 2011, I crashed and never recovered. The rest of those 'motivations' dwindled away to nothing, or near nothing. Now I have no way forward (stuck), and after my mother died I'm just waiting for Life to finally quit me.
Narcissism is super strong in society - so no one is willing to compromise. Until something big enters the scene and disrupts societal dynamics, things are only gonna get worse. This is the early 21st century experience.
I am just Groundhog Daying it. Same day over and over again. Nothing lost, nothing gained.
This video's content *feels* like it should be played at the very very very beginning of your life, and not supposed to be watched for the first time when you're already decades old and engrossed in a world that simply does not care about your needs. I'm sorry for that being critical, but honestly I and probably anyone else with enough cognitive function to have a device that plays videos would have better benefitted from a video outlining the perspective of how to initiate these changes with actual context. It feels a little idealistic and out of touch to watch this for me. Like many people can barely even afford dinner for their families, dude. Where's the content for them? Do their mental health statuses not deserve evaluation becuase they simply can't afford time in terms of time or money? People are not just quiet quitting, they are SCRAPING by. Don't leave pieces of information like that untouched in this conversation. That stuff is JUST as much connected to, a part of, and relevant as any self-helpy propositions to change your life.
because therapists is a part of this system, they can't speak unpleasant truth, they will never say what is actually important and who is to blame for all of it and how to change it (problem not in people but the system, but therapists on their way to brainwash these victims alongside with society and government that something is wrong with them and not all those people and system), their job is not to help people but change them to the convenient (for the system) way of thinking
Wow Amen to that. Not bla bla bla
While I totally get your point and have been there, to be fair, she does have a ton of other videos that talk about the things you mentioned above.
Thank you for this, Kati! Love the idea of a scheduled check-in to help me notice sooner when the balance in my life is off. I was programmed NOT to pursue my interests by a narcissist mother and recurring depression sometimes sneaks up on me, so reminders like The More You Do the Better You Feel & Success is a Vitamin help me. Now adding Count your Blessings not your Shortcomings. : - ) Thank you ❤
This is my first-time hearing of the double QQ, unfortunately the double QQ is my life. My mother was abused, while I was growing in her womb. My first acknowledgement of the violence begins at age 4 - remanning relentless, until I ran away at age 18. Yes, unfortunately these six misconceptions have plagued me and everyone else around me, as I heard loudly to just get over yourself. At age 61, I finally know why I never mounted to anything because trauma greeted me at age 4 with violent episodes through my entire upbringing. I am still missing life, as I have become uncomfortably numb.
Recently, I asked me therapist if I was acting like I had already given up on life. She said if i was asking that question, then i already knew the answer. So this video is quite relevant. However, the only thing that brings me joy in life I have some weird mental block that prevents me from doing it. I write it down on my calendar, but when I get to it, my brain says no and that's that. I don't know how to overcome this aversion to the one thing that might make me happy
I'm so there with both of you
me too, what is the answer?
That to me sounds like some kind of avoidance thing going on. I am probably wrong but I do understand what you are saying as I probably do that myself at times. Maybe if you could identify what the mental block is or what is causing it?
@@ISquishWorms how would i do that? journal maybe?
The timing of my seeing this video was ironically fortuitous. I am 74 and hanging on daily by my fingernails. The complexity of my life is ASTOUNDING and I feel drained and borderline hopeless. Some days I just want to "resign".....quit.....call it a day. Yet others (too many) need what I can do for them, help them with, make good on vows made in ignorance over half a century ago as a boy. I want my last years to be happy-er.....not unrealistically euphoric or perfect. I enjoy being alone still....quiet still....reflective and thoughtful. I wrestle with the question of the ages : "What was it all about"?? My life novel needs an ending, hopefully not a "Hitchcock" style, though.....
So the big question is: how do I stop chasing happiness and stop thinking “I’ll be happy someday” or “I’ll be happy when I have a wife and house of my own”
So, much bs on the internet with zero solution. What a joke I'm 55 out of the market. I've given up on useless women.
The unwanted but most real answer is graditute and focusing on actions instead of results, living in the present. I think Dr K on Healthygamergg has given a great video about focus on action instead of result
The solutions are outhere actually and are quit simple but not easy . Its just that we dont want to actually do them
@@AnthonyManzio
Check out the book 'the happiness trap'.
@@ashdavis3866 Don't even waste your breathe. It's all garbage.
I found "quiet quitting" hilarious because I have always done it that way. I have always found very little to be worth that extra bit of my energy. But I have never had a desire to be like others or have or do all the things. I even intentionally do NOT buy things that are advertised and never name brand. I am so thankful I was raised to value myself and my joy more then all the things.
I've not watched your video yet and I'm not currently in the workforce but my immediate answer is yes, I probably am. My mom passed away suddenly 2 months ago and I find I have no motivation, want to sleep all the time and am eating too many sweets. I just feel pretty blah.
I can't overstate how much i needed this. Thank you.
I'm have been quiet quitting life for some time: fading out friends; quitting hobbies, facebook, whatsapp; getting rid of stuff saved from childhood and long gone parents; dropping dreams and ambitions and facing facts: I'm not going to be who I dreamed to become though not for lack of trying I think. Instead, I've realized I even wasn't who I thought to be.
I've started to, well, not quite enjoy but, to get again accustomed to my job. Bit like 20 year old shoes that you almost threw away for a new flashier pair that never really fit properly.
Years ago, 2 weeks of Lamictal triggered realistic and vivid dreams for me. I finally started to enjoy them and sleep. Sleeping is now preferable to being awake.
I don't know about Quit quitting but I have definitely lost my love for this life and I find it difficult to find the motivation to do anymore than I have to most of the time.
This is what I was trying to explain to my parents. I am letting the days wash over me like waves. Thankfully I am self aware and I’m fighting against the depression. I have been trying to get through the Artists Way for the last 10 years. Thank you for sharing this video!
The War of Art is worth a read, too (not The Art of War, although that's probably a great read as well). It's well written about resistance.
We love you Katie, thank you for your phenomenal channel. Also I'm sending love to everyone💛
I feel like romance & adventure should be 2 separate categories. You can be in a fulfilling relationship but still crave more adventure (I tend to think of exploration and travel here). To avoid adding a 7th slice I included adventure under play as it's more fitting for my life.
Nailed it Kati, thank you, for explaining this.
I just want to say I really needed this incredibly wise and cogent advice. Thank you so much generous person!
This is so much me, I lost my mother last year, and the last time I saw her I thought to myself, I have no further use for this life, that has been consistant ever since, I am intersted in nothing nor want to do anything, I am like driftwood floating downstream on a river.
Oh snap... this is what ive been doing the last 5 years...
My definition of sucess is being a good person.
This is fascinating information. I already have been working on finding gratitude and positivity in my every-day life, but having it laid out like this just really helps to drive it home.
Same 💯
Thank you for your thoughtful words and incites.
You are truly a Gem.
🙋♀️ I’m just existing..on the sidelines watching everyone around me live their lives . I’m just observing
Been doing this for years even before the term was coined. The key is when working to find how to get others to do it that are paid more. I've found food is a good motivator, just don't do it frequently and you can keep the others coming back to help you.
😄😋
There is less than nothing I care to contribute to this place-
Once you "see" the world, you understand society is illogical, petty, and pointless.
Thank you so much for speaking on this 🙏
Investing in social media is not investing in friendship or community even though it feels like a shortcut.
As he said in office space. Doing just enough to not get fired
I've found myself doing this lately. I'm high functioning autistic, CPTSD, bipolar, and the scapegoat of my narcissistic family. Also the only child in that family, estranged for 30 yrs now. It's difficult to find friends because of all this going on, and I fully quit dating altogether. For the most part, I'm as happy as I can be, but when you don't have friends or family, it makes it difficult. My cats are my friends, and that's ok. They really help with the depression. Good thing I deleted all my social media 5 yrs ago ❤
YES! This is such an important message to put out there. I have urge my QQ friends to contemplate what they're doing to their mental health and to their life. Spending your days disengaged isn't going to end well, and commending yourself on it is even worse. ENGAGE LIFE! Duh!
This was something I needed so thank you. I will come back to it - often. Be well.
I like that adventure is added with Romance. Love and belonging has always been a struggle for me. I used to put my hands ex’s needs before my own, and I’m struggling even with no romantic partner. My kids say I’m at the top because I enjoy my purpose as a teacher and give back. Dwelling on that does help me feel happier.
I read books and try to do the work, but I’ve lost motivation because none of it matters deep down. I’ve always been an outsider who tries to belong and can’t. Just makes more sense to stop trying or caring in that way, accept reality and be content either with what I do have.
People don’t know how good they have it. I have no real home, No friends and am iLL. You said it the best! Count your blessings!!! You never know how good you have it until it’s gone! You never think it could happen to you. Be thankful people
Thank you so much 🙏🏼 I needed to hear this at this time and moment.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING ❤
I love how we just make these terms up
I’m convinced no matter what, we will always make crap up to “define” useless things
Katie your fairdinkem the best psychologist. I tuned in first time in months. Thank you. Your caught me in the best time. Thank you again 🙏☺️
Thank you for this video, Kati.
JUST when I needed this.... thank you
This is wonderful, thank you!
My life pie is a point in the center, but it might have been a more useful exercise before I got depressed. Perhaps a depression pie would work better.
Exersise: I move when I have to do it to take care of my family.
Work: I get dizzy and throw up after a couple of minutes of trying.
Romance/adventure: Non-existing because being a depressed man isn't sexy and adventures cost energy that I don't have.
Friends: Any social activities outside my family is too exhausting.
Play: Nothing has been fun since 2014. I'm trying to do whatever makes my kids and wife happy as much as possible.
Spirituality: It doesn't exist, so why bother.
Praying for you, brother, He exists!!
@@Denise-kc8np Thanks a lot. I was depressed and drunk at the moment and wrote more than I should. Life was much more simple when I could handle it with magical thinking, but when you know that it's just magic, it stops being magic. I wish that philosphers and psychologists could figure out how we can live well in the real world.
I did the Life Pie exercise in the hospital during group therapy recently. It was really enlightening to see what could use the most work!