+Neva Eva Always I'm so sorry I grow u p with an abusive dad an my mom would have bruises and one day she told the police but they didn't do anything to him and one day he was drunk driving and crashed and he was died this was when I was only 2 years old
Every summer we go to Florida for the 4th of July and in one of the guest bedrooms there was a phone that didn't work so I decided to call the police and it called them so then they came to the beach house and my brother and his friend said I was going to jail and they were going to taze me, so I just busted out in tears. Eventually the police man showed up and gave us a bracelet and a stuffed animal 😂😂😂
The use of assorted drugs helps distort logic and reason, as well as booze. I had 2 rich chix in a new BMW call to report to the cops that the doper in the hood that they thought they were buying meth from nabbed their money and hauled ass w/o giving them any dope. I swear that is true. The cop took the report, and said he would never again question anything I told him on the radio.
Late one night, the fire alarm went off in my apartment building so a few hundred of us had to get out of bed, and go outside and wait for the fire fighters to find the fire. They couldn't find one. Next thing I know, they're saying to a woman, "Mam, did you pull the fire alarm?" Her reply: "Yes. I had to. I caught my boyfriend in bed with another woman. You need to arrest him!"
When I was 4 I was on the toilet and I called the police because I ran out of toilet paper. Yes I am serious. And No my family has never let me live that down.
When I was small, me and my friend were screaming to try scare our parents, one time we screamed really loud, the next door neighbor called the police and they showed up at the house ^_^
Gee, when I reported the career drug dealers making crystal meth in the apartment below mine to NYPD via phone and by mail to the precinct, NYPD narcotics unit and NYPD headquarters, none of my 6 letters or phone calls got any response. Later I was told that despite all this communication with NYPD, it was never "reported". Perhaps I should have reported that someone was selling untaxed cigarettes instead; maybe that would have gotten a response.
Sara Olara That's what prison inmates say to each other. Normal folk report scumbags to police so that they might put said scumbags in prison where they can only hurt each other.
MmeDefarge (Expose NYC Meth Labs) normal people do not trust the cops either. Little fuckin wannabe fat boys who couldnt make the cut do. I've never been to prison nor do I break any laws. I just don't like nosey ass people or cops.
When me and my siblings were younger my mom ran a daycare we had a fake phone a real phone look exactly alike. My brother and some other kids were playing a game and they called the police about child abuse I guess and they accidentally used the real phone.
Getting sucked into watching Ellen vids reminds me of the song ' Hotel California' lol, "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave" lol
You actually can text someone and make it took like a letter. I do it all the time. I don't know if it works on all phone, I have an Iphone and I just turn off lock screen get on my texting app and you'll have a white box appear and you can write a message in it.
well the handwriting one isn't that stupid. I can usually tell which one of my friends is texting me by the style of the word composure, abrevations, emoticons and so on
When I was little and we went on a trip my parents would give my brother and I these ancient twin phone things, and they told us that only one phone number worked on there. Of course, being idiots, we called 9-1-1 several times and hung up on them. Then they told me that that was the real number that worked and I was talking to an actual person. They made me call and apologize.
GUYS! Stop arguing and complaining, there's stupid people AND smart people all over the world! Everyone knows that. Also, I believe that everyone's smart in their own way. So please, just watch the Ellen videos with joy and laugh your heads off.
Amazing Deepak You're just a brainwashed liberal. Once you see how much Hillary or Bernie ruin this country you will wish you turned back time and supported Trump. Let me guess, you think Trump is racist? Just wondering
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ You're such a brainwashed conservative. God... I can't believe how much Trump's supporters are blind! Blind to see how he's going to ruin America. Let ME guess. You think he's a millionaire and a businessman so you think he knows how to run the country?
yes she is! another funny thing is my blonde sister. just don't ask her to find Asia on a map. She responded with "Isn't it somewhere near China?" i said, "Yes, it is China." she got confused.
😂 Me and my cousin at the age of 9 prank calling the police, the police then drove their car to where we were. Parents looked at us😮😶 and so me and my cousin saw a man having a jog, and so we pointed to him 😂👉🏼👉🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼
ellen I got a funny story for you my cousin called the cops because she said there was masked people outside the house the cops investigated when they asked what day it was she said oct31 I was like gtfo
I read my family's local newspaper every week to read the police report. One time I found this: "Caller hung up 911 call. Later received call from a dad who said his daughter called 911 when her brother stole her Tinker Bell doll and tried to flush it down the toilet".
looool i love her vids and even the clumsy thumbsy vids they are hilarious i love you Ellen i cant stop watching your vids over and over i hope we had ur show in my country
Saw a meme on Facebook awhile back...."If you're going to keep a baseball bat in your car, keep a baseball _glove_ with it *also.* Your lawyer will thank you."
this is my favourite ohpuhlice video, love the the text/handwriting one, how can people be soooooo stupid and funny at the same time, poor police they probabbly have to hear this kind of stiluff all the time
When my sister was little she called the police to tell them what she wants for Christmas.
+BellagamesTV HAHAHAAHAH!!!
Really? 😆😆😆😆😆
valerie bartlett Yes it is true. She got in big trouble XD
😂😂😂😂😂 This Made me laugh
I can say that I have done the same
when i was a kid, I called the police. they came to my house and my mom was wondering why. I told her that I wanted to talk to someone
Legit reason tho!
lol
+Neva Eva Always I'm so sorry I grow u p with an abusive dad an my mom would have bruises and one day she told the police but they didn't do anything to him and one day he was drunk driving and crashed and he was died this was when I was only 2 years old
Nhi Nguyen
Sssss
Nhi Nguyen idk why i laughed so hard
No matter how hard a day I had, I always feel better when I watch Ellen! :)
The Ellen show is always worth watching. My favorite person there is ellen ! KEEP THAT SMILE BRIGHT!
Seeing in 2018 and still feel brand new
Princess Paula...Don't forget to brush often and with whitening toothpaste! 😋😂😋
Your favorite person on “Ellen” is Ellen????
No it’s *“Alan”*
Even now?
They shoud have used Michelle Tanner's voice saying: "Oh puh-lice!"
OMG!YES!!!
Yea ha ha Lol I love talking in Michelle's voice from Full House.
YAAAAAAASSS
YESS
YES!I WAS THINKING ABOUT SAME THING
Love funny police reports! Ellen is so funny, love her show!
Every summer we go to Florida for the 4th of July and in one of the guest bedrooms there was a phone that didn't work so I decided to call the police and it called them so then they came to the beach house and my brother and his friend said I was going to jail and they were going to taze me, so I just busted out in tears. Eventually the police man showed up and gave us a bracelet and a stuffed animal 😂😂😂
I love the comments she makes after the reports! I love Ellen!!
Back to the video, this stuff isn't exaggerated. I was s 911 and police dispatcher for a decade, and you could not believe what people come up with.
The use of assorted drugs helps distort logic and reason, as well as booze. I had 2 rich chix in a new BMW call to report to the cops that the doper in the hood that they thought they were buying meth from nabbed their money and hauled ass w/o giving them any dope. I swear that is true. The cop took the report, and said he would never again question anything I told him on the radio.
saburu sakai I will do that
The intro music always cracks me up...even before the funny police reports come up.
Love this segment! Wish she would do more these are always fun to read.
Thanks Ellen for making me feel better.
Oh deer, that last one was a shocker! Got most of the audience going bananas though.
Please stop with the Anti-Puns
Rachel Jun Ayyyee
Late one night, the fire alarm went off in my apartment building so a few hundred of us had to get out of bed, and go outside and wait for the fire fighters to find the fire. They couldn't find one. Next thing I know, they're saying to a woman, "Mam, did you pull the fire alarm?" Her reply: "Yes. I had to. I caught my boyfriend in bed with another woman. You need to arrest him!"
I should be writing an essay but this show is too funny and addictive :D
When I was 4 I was on the toilet and I called the police because I ran out of toilet paper. Yes I am serious. And No my family has never let me live that down.
When I was small, me and my friend were screaming to try scare our parents, one time we screamed really loud, the next door neighbor called the police and they showed up at the house ^_^
Amelia Mazur xDD
I love Ellen and Oh Puh-Lice so much...you start my day off right =)
Oh puh-lice
That's right :P
I really love your shows ellen..love from solomon islands
Gee, when I reported the career drug dealers making crystal meth in the apartment below mine to NYPD via phone and by mail to the precinct, NYPD narcotics unit and NYPD headquarters, none of my 6 letters or phone calls got any response. Later I was told that despite all this communication with NYPD, it was never "reported". Perhaps I should have reported that someone was selling untaxed cigarettes instead; maybe that would have gotten a response.
Rat fink ...snitches get stitches
Sara Olara That's what prison inmates say to each other. Normal folk report scumbags to police so that they might put said scumbags in prison where they can only hurt each other.
MmeDefarge (Expose NYC Meth Labs)
normal people do not trust the cops either. Little fuckin wannabe fat boys who couldnt make the cut do. I've never been to prison nor do I break any laws. I just don't like nosey ass people or cops.
Sara Olara You're a little twerp troll who can't tell the difference between a male or a female. Get lost little troll.
MmeDefarge (Expose NYC Meth Labs)
LMFAO!! you are an ignorant fuck lol..WTF does that have to do with anything???
Started watching Ellen @ 3 a.m. ...it is now 7 a.m. gah I love you Ellen. So addicting
When me and my siblings were younger my mom ran a daycare we had a fake phone a real phone look exactly alike. My brother and some other kids were playing a game and they called the police about child abuse I guess and they accidentally used the real phone.
More of this please!😂🤣🤣
i swear my phone dropped from my hand on hearing the first report
j3ster ...?
p0
Getting sucked into watching Ellen vids reminds me of the song ' Hotel California' lol, "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave" lol
Stuff that only happens in America...
Emilia Törnros rude
Forever AG well this doesnt happen in england
Charli Hill how do you know? Youre records arent public like in america.
Smartha Smartha My guess is that they get reports of people getting their dick stuck in teapots and sluts reporting "I thought Big Ben was a guy..."
Danielle Ciamei Calm down, it doesn't really matter, that's not even true. Stuff that only happens in the world...should be correct.
I hardly watch tv but if i did i would totally watch this show
You actually can text someone and make it took like a letter. I do it all the time. I don't know if it works on all phone, I have an Iphone and I just turn off lock screen get on my texting app and you'll have a white box appear and you can write a message in it.
Danielle Jewel that just came out this year though
Danielle Jewel yeah the ios10 update
Danielle Radcliff also can write on my old phone...
I love the Oh Puh-Lice thing... Gets me everytime!
well the handwriting one isn't that stupid. I can usually tell which one of my friends is texting me by the style of the word composure, abrevations, emoticons and so on
adryana9 that is great what is you’re friend Name
That last comment she made was perfect!
I love watching her videos after a long day :)
“She also told police she was drinking ice tea but admitted it could have been tequila” XD omg Ellen this is why I love you lol
Hi Ellen I just wanna say your really generous and funny I wish I could be like u when I grow up
I just choked on my drink, this woman is hysterical
Hahaha I love the sister one 😂😂
You're the best Ellen! People are so crazy, this segment really shows how crazy people are in general rather than the police.
Very unlikely, but 2020 anyone?
It's a good thing I'm on summer break already. I can watch Ellen all night if I wanted to. :P
Fun Fact: this video was published on 11/11/11
I rang the police as a todler as 999 were the only keys my little thumbs could reach. They then rang back and lectured my Mum for wasting their time 🤣
Hey I'm from Winona! That actually happened! They almost got arrested for that too!
I get the feeling,(having watched these),that my I.Q. is in the stratosphere,lol. Thanks,Ellen,I love ya!
When I was little and we went on a trip my parents would give my brother and I these ancient twin phone things, and they told us that only one phone number worked on there. Of course, being idiots, we called 9-1-1 several times and hung up on them. Then they told me that that was the real number that worked and I was talking to an actual person.
They made me call and apologize.
Lol, the last one was the best! 😂😂
Lol! I love the ellen show
My friend was telling me about the Wisconsin Rapids one.... (: It was too funny seeing it on Ellen then... haha
GUYS! Stop arguing and complaining, there's stupid people AND smart people all over the world! Everyone knows that. Also, I believe that everyone's smart in their own way. So please, just watch the Ellen videos with joy and laugh your heads off.
that awkward moment qhen you watch so many ellen videos that you wind back to one youve seen without noticing
it's funny when she tries to keep a straight face, lol!
Holly!!! its 5 am!!! once you search up Ellen, theres no turning back!!
Now I get it... why Trump is so popular among the American public!
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Yeah I see that you're his supporter now. Dropping offensive curse words in the comments section... yeah you're his voter base!
Amazing Deepak How is cussing relevant at all? lmao
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ How is it not? Why is f*g relevant here at all?
Amazing Deepak You're just a brainwashed liberal. Once you see how much Hillary or Bernie ruin this country you will wish you turned back time and supported Trump. Let me guess, you think Trump is racist? Just wondering
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ You're such a brainwashed conservative. God... I can't believe how much Trump's supporters are blind! Blind to see how he's going to ruin America.
Let ME guess. You think he's a millionaire and a businessman so you think he knows how to run the country?
The last one got me! lol
Funniest woman alive!
yes she is! another funny thing is my blonde sister. just don't ask her to find Asia on a map. She responded with "Isn't it somewhere near China?" i said, "Yes, it is China." she got confused.
THE HOLY POTATO 😂😂I assume she is the a cute funny sister❤
oh puh-lice=oh please!! oh puh-lice=oh omg lice!!!!!!😂😂
I don't know if you understand just how much of an impact yuou've had on the way we think...caring means everything.
Laughing for 15 seconds adds 2 days to your life span. So watching Ellen=IMMORTALITY.
😂 Me and my cousin at the age of 9 prank calling the police, the police then drove their car to where we were. Parents looked at us😮😶 and so me and my cousin saw a man having a jog, and so we pointed to him 😂👉🏼👉🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼
she also told police she was drinking ice tea but admitted it could been tequila!!!Ellen too funny
When I was six I called the police because my brother stole my pop tart and ate it but the police didn't arrest him
Green apple Slimes That's hilarious!
¨she also said the police she was drinking iced tea but it could've been tekila¨ hahaha lol
Hey Ellen staff, I think you misspelled it. In "PUH- LICE" the "e" at the end makes the i a long sound as in the bug "lice"
Ahhh oh my god. She suspects it was her sister, haha lol. Love Ellen.
let me go to sleep!!!!
no
Hey!!!after five years I'm reading your comment good night for your sleep
Ah 6 years later
Oh how I love this show!! Every line is so smart and ellen is sooo talented! :D
ellen I got a funny story for you my cousin called the cops because she said there was masked people outside the house the cops investigated when they asked what day it was she said oct31 I was like gtfo
i love the stuff that ellen says after she reads them.
Lol valerie is my name xD
my too
Valerie Montecinos yay!
Hi ^__^ My best friend's last name is Flores lol
valerie flores loll I know you!! Your sisters name is lyndsey right???
Valerie Kubiak lol this is a reunion of the valerie's. maybe me and your friend are related lol jk
We need this show on the UK tv :D
she's a hoot
I read my family's local newspaper every week to read the police report. One time I found this: "Caller hung up 911 call. Later received call from a dad who said his daughter called 911 when her brother stole her Tinker Bell doll and tried to flush it down the toilet".
XD lmao!!!! XD
I died on the handwriting one XD
Welcome to the world of Ellen !
You may now never leave...
Does Ellen have Snapchat?
yes, it's ellen
Human Trash **throws trash**
Yes
Yes. It's mostly pictures of the people on her show
LOL first one was the best, but I loved the last one too XD
If I see one more Alice in Wonderland ad... I'm gonna shoot myself.
Lucky
I keep getting popstar movie
Finally it's over.. Now it's Me before You. When does it end?!?!?
Taylor Collins now my phone is saying I can’t not Let me touch the stuff that I don’t get it
how is ellen soamzing i mean shes wonderful she makes dreams com true she makes you laugh its jus i cant put it in words
really appreciate how the ads are louder than ellen
Oh man handwriting is so amazing 😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭
looool i love her vids and even the clumsy thumbsy vids they are hilarious i love you Ellen i cant stop watching your vids over and over i hope we had ur show in my country
hahaha. omgosh! its funny how Ellen can read those without bursting out laughing! i love her!!
Saw a meme on Facebook awhile back...."If you're going to keep a baseball bat in your car, keep a baseball _glove_ with it *also.* Your lawyer will thank you."
I love this segment!!
finally a day in which i can enjoy Ellen without fucking myself over.
the "oh puh-lice" in the beginning made me laugh so hard
i love how she laughs at her own jokes... i dont blame her! hahah
She suspects it was her sister because all the items belonged to her! xD....
this is my favourite ohpuhlice video, love the the text/handwriting one, how can people be soooooo stupid and funny at the same time, poor police they probabbly have to hear this kind of stiluff all the time
everytime i watch ellen, i don't sleep till 7:30 then i'm already late for skewl
Love you Ellen!!! Thanks for always making me laugh.
Ashamed to say I'm from Hanover Pennsylvania 😂
Holy shit. I've finished. I can't find an Ellen video I haven't watched. I'm..... FREE!!!
I buttcalled the police 3 times. 😂
I love Ellen. She's so funny.
HAHAHAHAHA! "OH PUH-LICE!"...FUNNY STUFF! FUNNY FUNNY STUFF! 😂😂😂😋
"Police have analyzed the handwriting. He is now a suspect for 50 million other crimes."
XD
Now I have droped my phone in my face 3 times..it's 4am in the morning...PLEASE ELLEN LET ME SLEEP !
"thats right" I CANT BREATH WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY
her jokes afterwards as just as funny