DoubleSpeak, How to Lie without Lying

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  • Опубликовано: 15 авг 2019
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Комментарии • 14 тыс.

  • @bobdavies2131
    @bobdavies2131 3 года назад +6688

    "I had a thousand people under me at my former job".....I cut grass at the cemetery

    • @ham8780
      @ham8780 3 года назад +339

      oh i have a corner office, with most of the city being in my visibility. i drive a bus

    • @excitedaboutlearning1639
      @excitedaboutlearning1639 3 года назад +47

      I really laughed at this one.

    • @michaelfixedsys7463
      @michaelfixedsys7463 3 года назад +23

      That's a big cemetery

    • @Rydonz
      @Rydonz 3 года назад +41

      Employer: What did you used to do for a living?
      Me: I used to put people under the blade

    • @gabequezada2066
      @gabequezada2066 3 года назад +2

      lmao !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @mubirshu
    @mubirshu 4 года назад +10749

    I once ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in several years. He told me he was working for an oil company in sales & marketing. He was a clerk at a gas station.

    • @levikilo11001100101
      @levikilo11001100101 3 года назад +378

      And I know someone who sells propane and propane accessories

    • @garretc2148
      @garretc2148 3 года назад +455

      I had a friend that said "i manage the transactions of a multibillion dollar company" aka a McDonalds cashier

    • @sbapt
      @sbapt 3 года назад +36

      @Rose :3 lol maybe they're friends?

    • @antoniocesardecarvalhovian5670
      @antoniocesardecarvalhovian5670 3 года назад +53

      I knew a guy (I'm brazilian and so is he) who moved to new york to work with coffee and oil, meaning that he served coffee at a Petrobras office

    • @TheBestGrapefruitGuy
      @TheBestGrapefruitGuy 3 года назад +28

      @@garretc2148 You literally stole that

  • @parmesanzero7678
    @parmesanzero7678 6 месяцев назад +535

    My work in public service used to require quite a bit of double-speak. You can’t just come out and say, “yeah, the lawmakers didn’t think this through or consult the people who actually do the work, so now we have to require you to do something useless.”

    • @grilledflatbread4692
      @grilledflatbread4692 5 месяцев назад +6

      oh you worked in CMS

    • @hetedeleambacht6608
      @hetedeleambacht6608 3 месяца назад +37

      actually, i d prefer they tell me this. by answereing honestly you can share in the frustration of your client. That makes the client less frustrated.

    • @III_three
      @III_three 3 месяца назад +7

      So what would you say instead of telling the the truth?

    • @RobinTheBot
      @RobinTheBot 2 месяца назад

      ​@@hetedeleambacht6608 See how long you keep a job...

    • @jackwood594
      @jackwood594 22 дня назад +9

      hey man if it is up to you, you should tell the truth, the public deserve to understand the situation so it can be fixed. And you should not be protecting incompetent lawmakers or politicians.

  • @delynnmurray6826
    @delynnmurray6826 4 месяца назад +221

    YES! As a data science major this is exactly why a code of ethics was made for data scientists in 2008 after the market crash. Incomplete representations of data were a large part of the issue at the time, and thus the code of ethics was born. I firmly believe it's our job as data scientists to make graphs to really communicate, not for shock value the way so many social media accounts seem to represent their data these days. It never clicked in my head as a form of doublespeak until now!

    • @hetedeleambacht6608
      @hetedeleambacht6608 3 месяца назад +7

      anyone knows the simpelest graphs need the relevant data right? I learned that in primary school. No data, they might as well show me a Van Gogh...beautiful colors and lines but not very usefull

  • @Croissinate
    @Croissinate 3 года назад +12242

    >step into my office
    >am I being let go?
    >don't be silly. In fact, I'm promoting you to customer

    • @joshuawallace4990
      @joshuawallace4990 3 года назад +413

      That's quite the promotion what did I do to deserve this?

    • @Kalilw12
      @Kalilw12 3 года назад +17

      😭😭

    • @ATeamMate
      @ATeamMate 3 года назад +279

      @Okapi Lizard

    • @plainblocks2
      @plainblocks2 3 года назад +131

      @Okapi Lizard the joke has flown over your head

    • @bliggzz
      @bliggzz 3 года назад +64

      @Okapi Lizard r/whooosh

  • @jamesalbus7991
    @jamesalbus7991 3 года назад +3858

    "no im not stealing comments, im just spreading the quote"

    • @Edgygazelle99
      @Edgygazelle99 3 года назад +8

      🤣

    • @matemolnar8900
      @matemolnar8900 3 года назад +64

      no im not stealing comments, im just spreading the quote

    • @jacobr7729
      @jacobr7729 3 года назад +34

      "no im not stealing comments, im just spreading the quote"

    • @nicolassagrillo1442
      @nicolassagrillo1442 3 года назад +48

      Im not reposting memes, im disseminating visual art and knowledge

    • @Hubba_Hubba9
      @Hubba_Hubba9 3 года назад +7

      No I'm not stealing comments, I'm just spreading the quote

  • @Greedsmith
    @Greedsmith 6 месяцев назад +78

    Like how toothpaste brands say “recommended by 5 out of 5 dentists”, when the dentists were asked for multiple brands. So that toothpaste wasn’t *_the one_* , but simply one of many brands that a dentist would recommend.

    • @sdalt001
      @sdalt001 9 дней назад

      This concept is EXACTLY how big pharma gets ALL of their drugs to market. Making it to market, means reducing the presence of reaction of side-affects...by pre-screening volunteers who are less likely to have a side-affect.

    • @kainoawaikiki2614
      @kainoawaikiki2614 День назад +2

      I more commonly hear 9/10 dentists - when in reality it's 10/10. They change it to 9 though because customers instinctually think it's impossible for a product to be approved by everyone leading them to believe its a lie.

  • @danielclark-hughes692
    @danielclark-hughes692 3 месяца назад +21

    "As part of a balanced breakfast" aka "this stuff doesn't carry much nutrition"

  • @Heccinchonker12
    @Heccinchonker12 3 года назад +3910

    "I saved your life!"
    "You ruined my death!"

    • @TheTablaChannel
      @TheTablaChannel 3 года назад +105

      the incredibles!

    • @EdFuller
      @EdFuller 3 года назад +24

      Lieutenant Dan (forrest gump)

    • @balemonte727
      @balemonte727 3 года назад +3

      LMAO! can win for losing.

    • @roisinnigcrainn7722
      @roisinnigcrainn7722 3 года назад +14

      That's an entire mood right there

    • @MySpoot
      @MySpoot 3 года назад +3

      @@EdFuller "lieutenant Dan!! ice cream!!!"

  • @themedders
    @themedders 3 года назад +5059

    "Why is my microphone not working?"
    "High-impedance air gap."
    aka it's not plugged in

    • @johnjiteru37
      @johnjiteru37 3 года назад +29

      This is brilliant

    • @yvonnevevo6788
      @yvonnevevo6788 3 года назад +11

      Absolutely brilliant!

    • @falsigo
      @falsigo 3 года назад +9

      Infinite Resistance*

    • @FireFlanker1
      @FireFlanker1 3 года назад +16

      "Why doesn't my voice come out of the speakers?"
      "High disparity air gap between frequencies and broadcast equipment"

    • @leozendo3500
      @leozendo3500 3 года назад +5

      Amazed how many people know basic electronics well enough... Or can say a low signal to noise ratio or a super high THD

  • @GentlemensLife
    @GentlemensLife 4 месяца назад +56

    “It’s not a lie, if you believe it”, George Costanza

  • @Gk2003m
    @Gk2003m 6 месяцев назад +231

    The key to doublespeak: always speak reality, always tell the truth. Folks won’t believe you; they will continue to believe what they want to believe regardless of what you tell them. So say what’s real! Just don’t bother arguing too much about it.

    • @thinkforyourself518
      @thinkforyourself518 4 месяца назад +1

      Just half of it.

    • @ZAN_YAR
      @ZAN_YAR 4 месяца назад +1

      Always tell the truth

    • @thinkforyourself518
      @thinkforyourself518 3 месяца назад +1

      @@ZAN_YAR You can't tell the truth. It's bigger than your knowledge of it. And incomplete truth is also a half lie.

    • @ZAN_YAR
      @ZAN_YAR 3 месяца назад

      @@thinkforyourself518 Yes you can.
      Fearlessly and Assertively. A small synthetic agenda they call it [knowledge] is way too fragile to take a place in your Mind. and affect your intellection, and your says. It's their thing They have made it they make you believe in it and you get scared and obtain feeling of guilt and addicted

    • @toni-m.
      @toni-m. 2 месяца назад +18

      @@thinkforyourself518 What? pfff- it's not a half-lie. I prefer the phrase 'sensibly modified truth'.

  • @vlonp
    @vlonp 3 года назад +3950

    double speak, or as i like to call it, everyone's resume

    • @daftdafar9095
      @daftdafar9095 3 года назад +18

      Hahaha true

    • @nanamacapagal8342
      @nanamacapagal8342 3 года назад +209

      Or a high schooler desperately trying to reach the dreaded word count.

    • @mitchell1091
      @mitchell1091 3 года назад +35

      @@nanamacapagal8342 I hated word counts.
      I'd always have to shorten my work.
      (I always got As in school😂)

    • @Tan-lb6sm
      @Tan-lb6sm 3 года назад +59

      Mitchell Weird Flex but ok

    • @bananas8054
      @bananas8054 3 года назад

      @@mitchell1091 How :c

  • @anegg661
    @anegg661 3 года назад +3787

    “I didn’t lose, I merely failed to win!”
    -Oversimplified

    • @bralenmurphy1991
      @bralenmurphy1991 3 года назад +112

      I didn't lose, I succeeded at accomplishing the opposite of the assumed conditions for success

    • @Ludifant
      @Ludifant 3 года назад +21

      I didn't lose, I just assumed you were playing a non zero sum game, where my "losing" would facilitate your "winning" to maximise the total of gains.

    • @bralenmurphy1991
      @bralenmurphy1991 3 года назад +7

      @@Ludifant I like this, but it breaks the point of double speak. Doublespeak doesn't involve lying, however your comment does. Still an amazing excuse though!

    • @AsianAFK
      @AsianAFK 3 года назад +9

      I didn't lose, I have just been highly motivated on having empathy on all competitors

    • @Yslohr
      @Yslohr 3 года назад +1

      Well this one doesn't work as well because you can draw in some games.

  • @TheSdog9
    @TheSdog9 6 месяцев назад +108

    What I got out of this is that no matter the topic always ask questions until you get positive confirmation of the facts at hand.

    • @trumptookthevaccine1679
      @trumptookthevaccine1679 5 месяцев назад +6

      Oh you’re dangerous now

    • @genkiferal7178
      @genkiferal7178 6 дней назад +1

      that might be part of the message, but I think what you missed is that someone wanting to deceive you by using double-speak is unlikely to give you all of the facts, so you need to dig deeper and always delay a decision if you can.

  • @twixerclawford
    @twixerclawford 6 месяцев назад +15

    I distinctly remember during the 2020 elections, I saw a political ad over and over about someone running for reelection in my state. One of the various things they listed as "reasons you should vote for this guy again!" is that he brought the state's education from being the "the 33rd worst state in the country, to the 27th best" or something along those lines, I don't remember the specifics. It wasn't until I paused the ad and thought about it for a second that I realized it was saying the education system got worse and it was using doublespeak to make it sound better. I never knew that form of lying had a name until I watched this video!

    • @buffalosolider206
      @buffalosolider206 8 дней назад

      How

    • @twixerclawford
      @twixerclawford 8 дней назад

      @@buffalosolider206 how what

    • @mnxs
      @mnxs 7 дней назад +6

      ​​​@@buffalosolider206Assuming we're talking US states among the ranking, and not including territories like Puerto Rico, there are 51 "ranking members." That puts the middle point at 25.5 - equally far to the bottom and the top. So if a state is the 33rd _worst,_ we're counting from the _bottom,_ meaning that they're actually _above_ the middle point (at 18th best, in fact). However, the 27th _best,_ that is, counted from the _top,_ is then _below_ the middle point (ie., 24th worst).
      So they actually dropped a whole _9 rankings_ (27-18 = 33-24 = 9) in the time that guy running for re-election was in office 🙃 - and he's trying to present that as if he actually improved things...

  • @huneyslugrat
    @huneyslugrat 3 года назад +9955

    "So you cheated?"
    "No, no. It was just a romantic entanglement."

    • @acevaver5425
      @acevaver5425 3 года назад +452

      No. Romantic and entanglement just makes it worse. What you want to say is: I found this girl suffering from a clinically adverse effect due to the saturated inflammation of epinephrine. She was in a mentally critical condition that required a regulated oxytocin intake lest her lifespan is intermittently chopped short for lack of treatment and administration of the chordae tendineae cords. She had previously suffered a apical ballooning syndrome and needed a pulmonary heart bypass placebo to re-coordinate and connect her testosterone levels with her endocrine system body functions. Honey, she had a 5.30% chance of dying, within the next year, it's lowered now to .07% chance. I have potentially saved a life, she was possibly suffering tremendously because of her condition. I had to help.

    • @cybergeek5476
      @cybergeek5476 3 года назад +167

      @@acevaver5425 Please translate to dummyspeak.

    • @vixx3535
      @vixx3535 3 года назад +31

      @@acevaver5425 r/woosh

    • @CharllotteKatakuri
      @CharllotteKatakuri 3 года назад +16

      @@acevaver5425 J. o. k. e

    • @cheltan4491
      @cheltan4491 3 года назад +157

      @@vixx3535 I don't think you are using that correctly

  • @hm...interesting5187
    @hm...interesting5187 3 года назад +18844

    "Oh youre an organ harvester?"
    "No, I work in human resources"

    • @crikxouba
      @crikxouba 3 года назад +470

      No, he works for the Chinese Communist Party

    • @crazytim8256
      @crazytim8256 3 года назад +352

      "Nonconsensual organ arbitrage" is the job title that his salary gets taxed under

    • @marakalos3838
      @marakalos3838 3 года назад +86

      Non-public human organ arbitrage.
      I would say semi-concensual but that's too negatively received these days.

    • @lecoqsclock1002
      @lecoqsclock1002 3 года назад +30

      "Nonconsensual organ arbitrage" is this Sseth rimworld refrence?

    • @marakalos3838
      @marakalos3838 3 года назад +13

      @@lecoqsclock1002 Of course fellow merchant!

  • @n0ame1u1
    @n0ame1u1 6 месяцев назад +41

    7:17 Actually it's incorrect to say it reduces the risk by one percent; it reduces it by one *percentage point*

    • @EvanG529
      @EvanG529 6 дней назад +4

      It reduces it be 36% percent, from 3 in 100 to 1.9 in 100. Look at the graph again. The statistic is not misleading, the graph is.

  • @nicholasreynolds6609
    @nicholasreynolds6609 6 месяцев назад +46

    Love this video. People don't know how to spot such trickery. We should be teaching this in schools.

    • @presidentofchina1496
      @presidentofchina1496 6 месяцев назад +21

      Bold of you to assume schools were made for critical thinking and not for future obeying workers

    • @HassanIQ777
      @HassanIQ777 5 дней назад

      ​@@presidentofchina1496 REAAAAL❤

  • @MGISGlobalStats
    @MGISGlobalStats 3 года назад +4773

    "You're watching random RUclips videos"
    "No, I'm performing non-essential research of human communication and expression from one of the largest databases of digital media"

    • @danteburns7118
      @danteburns7118 3 года назад +97

      I feel attacked

    • @smokingghost9781
      @smokingghost9781 3 года назад +32

      Isn't that a quarter of what you learn in school school?

    • @justinshi1459
      @justinshi1459 3 года назад +31

      Extra-circular research *

    • @WolfyRed
      @WolfyRed 3 года назад +1

      689 lieks
      nice

    • @jude444
      @jude444 3 года назад +3

      @@smokingghost9781 u mean google

  • @kristjancebulj8162
    @kristjancebulj8162 4 года назад +20385

    "so you're a burglar"
    "Nooooooo, I'm an asset relocation specialist."

    • @tacokoneko
      @tacokoneko 4 года назад +1389

      "so you're stealing my money"
      "no, we're the government"

    • @Alex3110TheAmazing
      @Alex3110TheAmazing 4 года назад +190

      Kristjan Čebulj a self employed* asset relocation specialist

    • @krazylevin
      @krazylevin 4 года назад +223

      Just the person I hoped to meet. I have, here in this holster, an Asset Relocation Specialist Reducer.

    • @Nuclearburrit0
      @Nuclearburrit0 4 года назад +93

      ​@@krazylevin Yes but are you a Certified Asset Relocation Specialist Reducer Management Associate?

    • @JosephSmith-lm4ri
      @JosephSmith-lm4ri 4 года назад +26

      Could also be a tax collector.

  • @nivlacgaming9211
    @nivlacgaming9211 5 месяцев назад +5

    Thank you for the informative content, keep up the great work!

  • @gamerrex5940
    @gamerrex5940 3 месяца назад +8

    "I'm not slacking off, I'm taking an early break to enhance productivity."

  • @alexandergerolimatos4682
    @alexandergerolimatos4682 3 года назад +2483

    "This involved slitting his throat. They call this a 'therapeutic misadventure'"
    That's... that's murder

    • @infidelheretic923
      @infidelheretic923 3 года назад +188

      Yeah I’d be about ready to give that surgeon a “misadventure” if that happened to someone I care about.

    • @petedick1758
      @petedick1758 3 года назад +9

      You seem tough.

    • @7.59-fmclosed7
      @7.59-fmclosed7 3 года назад +116

      It's not murder
      It's stopping human function

    • @1Lainer1
      @1Lainer1 3 года назад +33

      7.59-fm [Closed] that is stopping human function for a proceedingly inproportionate excusably content of time

    • @petedick1758
      @petedick1758 3 года назад +8

      @@1Lainer1 No one can read this nonsense sentence; try again.

  • @Moontrimmer86
    @Moontrimmer86 4 года назад +3537

    "I drive a 150k vehicle, I travel a lot and have a great corner office"
    I'm a bus driver.

  • @DarkGT
    @DarkGT 6 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for this profound addition to my organic memory bank with this moving picture content on RUclips.

  • @iNick90
    @iNick90 5 месяцев назад +3

    The catastrophic buckling compression column switch and actuator warriors have been outsmarted this time

  • @secretintelligenceservice8902
    @secretintelligenceservice8902 3 года назад +15881

    “I’m a pharmacist on a street level”

    • @Adam-xf6sq
      @Adam-xf6sq 3 года назад +548

      Deal drugger

    • @aero8893
      @aero8893 3 года назад +972

      Nope, you’re just self sufficient entrepreneurial botanist who uses there knowledge to create pharmaceutical products designed to make the patient get better on there own. Using your mobile situation your able to give away your products for the exchange of a piece of paper.

    • @aero8893
      @aero8893 3 года назад +47

      Sound right?

    • @CommanderRedVega
      @CommanderRedVega 3 года назад +231

      @@aero8893 You mean, Pharmaceutical Street Vendor.

    • @gustylerbush9156
      @gustylerbush9156 3 года назад +62

      @@aero8893 piece of paper?!? that piece of paper is our current system of legal tender of general use in a country

  • @Michael-dj6pd
    @Michael-dj6pd 3 года назад +4776

    "They're not Lootboxes they're 'Surprise Mechanics' ".
    - EA GAMES

    • @kingaragornii9940
      @kingaragornii9940 3 года назад +102

      No the lawyer stated this: *"...It's not gambling, we call them surprise mechanics...it makes the players happy..."*

    • @TheUltrasora
      @TheUltrasora 3 года назад +30

      @@kingaragornii9940 tell me lies , tell me sweet little lies

    • @ln9895
      @ln9895 3 года назад +18

      @@kingaragornii9940 defintely doesnt make us happy ahaha

    • @kingaragornii9940
      @kingaragornii9940 3 года назад +3

      @@TheUltrasora
      Lol

    • @blainetrevino689
      @blainetrevino689 3 года назад +3

      Ea it’s in the game

  • @alpacaofthemountain8760
    @alpacaofthemountain8760 6 месяцев назад +8

    I had a great time when I prioritized processing information on literary subjects through a visual and auditory medium over at-home educational practice

  • @father3dollarbill
    @father3dollarbill 10 дней назад

    great video. You really delved into the uses of double speak.

  • @darthslackus499
    @darthslackus499 3 года назад +6487

    Hitman: "I specialize in Early Retirements."

  • @MrGommpa
    @MrGommpa 4 года назад +14065

    EA: "They're not loot boxes, they're surprise mechanics"

  • @jtothemaurednik
    @jtothemaurednik 5 месяцев назад +3

    so glad to see carlin in this

  • @blech71
    @blech71 5 месяцев назад +4

    I’ve seen some resumes that could qualify.
    I also liked the SpaceX launch of starship lately…. “A rapid unscheduled disaaembly” lol

  • @louise1753
    @louise1753 4 года назад +4373

    Our resumes are about to be lit.

    • @justinbrown7783
      @justinbrown7783 4 года назад +21

      Louise ••• for some reason I hate and love you lol

    • @Deady4u
      @Deady4u 4 года назад +16

      I was a self hired professional semi-permanent bed tester, that specialized in a niche type of bed.

    • @letsparchmentitupyo7566
      @letsparchmentitupyo7566 4 года назад +3

      watch out for all of us being in rich schools and jobs

    • @karna5998
      @karna5998 4 года назад +3

      @@Deady4u sleep man

  • @mozuesolympian2988
    @mozuesolympian2988 3 года назад +8616

    We don’t torture people, we use Enhanced interrogation.

    • @nihalu.7886
      @nihalu.7886 3 года назад +278

      Advanced interrogation techniques

    • @mozuesolympian2988
      @mozuesolympian2988 3 года назад +61

      @@nihalu.7886 I don’t use Advanced I nterrogation Techniques I use Alternative words

    • @robdom91
      @robdom91 3 года назад +107

      I prefer to call it intensive questioning.

    • @appleshoes1419
      @appleshoes1419 3 года назад +82

      @@nihalu.7886 "but techno that's just tor-"
      "ENHANCED INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES"

    • @christianweber7435
      @christianweber7435 3 года назад +14

      AND WE MAKE PEOPLE OUR SLAVS

  • @fortniteshorts8674
    @fortniteshorts8674 6 месяцев назад +6

    I love doublespeak, it is such an cool thing to perform.

  • @philipjfry4465
    @philipjfry4465 6 месяцев назад

    Great discussion, thanks.

  • @gemini9002
    @gemini9002 4 года назад +4140

    “I work in the movie industry.”
    I sell popcorn

    • @tommytimmy8441
      @tommytimmy8441 4 года назад +143

      nah, more like: I play a crucial part in one the most equitable industries present in today’s economy.

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 4 года назад +10

      @@tommytimmy8441 👏

    • @dextersdevil6994
      @dextersdevil6994 4 года назад +2

      Lmbo

    • @Buggabones
      @Buggabones 4 года назад +7

      Im a dancer = Im a stripper

    • @xarrik
      @xarrik 4 года назад +9

      @@tommytimmy8441 Or I played a crucial role in the marketing of cinema to the public through the increase of current and future sales figures.

  • @Showboat
    @Showboat 3 года назад +15028

    "I handle transactions for a multi - billion dollar company." - McDonalds cashier

    • @cfoster6804
      @cfoster6804 3 года назад +126

      Nice!

    • @spurnd
      @spurnd 3 года назад +252

      I was going to comment you should say financial transactions, but then I remembered the cashier also hands you your food, which is product. Anyways, great line, will definitely steal for future interviews.

    • @TheyNerfedYou
      @TheyNerfedYou 3 года назад +11

      lmaooooooo

    • @jacobamarjan2325
      @jacobamarjan2325 3 года назад +24

      just saying, not an original comment

    • @stokesseegers5012
      @stokesseegers5012 3 года назад

      This one lol

  • @SimonAlander
    @SimonAlander 4 месяца назад

    Very Well put together video

  • @yoram9692
    @yoram9692 6 месяцев назад

    Awesome vid!

  • @jianneee1349
    @jianneee1349 3 года назад +1929

    “you’re not in trouble, i just need to talk to you for a second outside of the classroom about your choices”

    • @cowl6867
      @cowl6867 3 года назад +37

      This is very relatable

    • @hivemind5281
      @hivemind5281 3 года назад +35

      every teacher ever

    • @MyPussyBleeding-rn1mw
      @MyPussyBleeding-rn1mw 3 года назад +55

      my Spanish teacher once asked me and my friend to wait outside and she never came to speak to us just made us stand outside the classroom for 45-50 minutes until the bell rung

    • @hivemind5281
      @hivemind5281 3 года назад +9

      @@MyPussyBleeding-rn1mw big brain moment

    • @gideoniskemp
      @gideoniskemp 3 года назад +5

      @@MyPussyBleeding-rn1mw F I N E S S E D

  • @lindanib541
    @lindanib541 2 года назад +2588

    Prisoner: " I live in a gated community"

    • @dannykelly7159
      @dannykelly7159 2 года назад +16

      😂😂😂

    • @luciuskapahs5547
      @luciuskapahs5547 2 года назад +79

      We even have armed security personnel

    • @TonyAtma
      @TonyAtma 2 года назад +13

      @@luciuskapahs5547 most prison guards aren't armed actually. Well they have pepper spray which is effective... sometimes.

    • @potapotapotapotapotapota
      @potapotapotapotapotapota 2 года назад +26

      sometimes you even get a room with TV, bed, toilet and shower all to yourself!

    • @CD-xo5ju
      @CD-xo5ju 2 года назад +3

      Don't we all 😉

  • @As1fAhmad
    @As1fAhmad 3 месяца назад +3

    Doublespeak is not just for dystopian novels anymore. It's in customer support calls, public apologies, and even political speeches. Sometimes we see through it, but often we don't. Stay critical, friends. Deception thrives in grey areas.

  • @RUOK2000
    @RUOK2000 7 месяцев назад +3

    What a wonderful insight into the nuerotypical experience. Thank you

  • @neeevirus
    @neeevirus 3 года назад +5542

    "Im not depressed, Im just highly motivated to not be optimistic"

    • @-poon-382
      @-poon-382 3 года назад +41

      nice pfp you’re cultured

    • @neeevirus
      @neeevirus 3 года назад +34

      @@-poon-382 ah, I see, so you're also a fellow man of hololive culture?

    • @-poon-382
      @-poon-382 3 года назад +8

      NEEE VIRUS hell yea

    • @pxtxer165
      @pxtxer165 3 года назад +2

      Nakamas from the hololive hole

    • @josephjoestar5861
      @josephjoestar5861 3 года назад +3

      What's hololive peko?

  • @dominic0900
    @dominic0900 3 года назад +2372

    "I didn't rob the store, I merely imposed a mandatory donation order"

    • @HeadHunterSix
      @HeadHunterSix 3 года назад +32

      In the military it is known as "Appropriation".

    • @user-mw6fm5ht4m
      @user-mw6fm5ht4m 3 года назад +42

      surprise communism

    • @369mfkzt2
      @369mfkzt2 3 года назад +11

      That's what they use to extort people and make everyone happy with that, because taxes are "used for the people". You know, it's not theft, because you're a "Taxpayer".

    • @AverageAlien
      @AverageAlien 3 года назад +11

      @@369mfkzt2 exactly, it's not theft, it's just the government forcefully removing your money and using it themselves

    • @gary00832
      @gary00832 3 года назад

      😂

  • @viaceslavscavlinskij5288
    @viaceslavscavlinskij5288 3 месяца назад +1

    Cool background music 👍

  • @Asdcoolot
    @Asdcoolot 3 месяца назад +1

    I love engadging in caloric sufficiency through interspecis means

  • @anastasiawortham8833
    @anastasiawortham8833 2 года назад +3092

    Doublespeak is colloquially known as bullshitting where I'm from.

    • @TheBestSam42
      @TheBestSam42 2 года назад +377

      Yeah I’m often referred to as a bullshiter but I prefer the term linguistically gifted

    • @hiinsanity
      @hiinsanity Год назад +288

      it’s ironic because whoever invented the word doublespeak just didn’t wanna be called a bullshitter

    • @mdreza3471
      @mdreza3471 Год назад +30

      @@hiinsanity lmao

    • @commandro
      @commandro 10 месяцев назад +19

      Flirting is a form of doublespeak too.

    • @Mo_Mauve
      @Mo_Mauve 9 месяцев назад +6

      @@hiinsanity It's not ironic, it's just effective.

  • @turmuthoer
    @turmuthoer 3 года назад +1292

    "What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."
    - Obi Wan Kenobi

    • @a-s-greig
      @a-s-greig 3 года назад +38

      "From MY point of view the JEDI are evil!"
      --Some guy with opinions on sand

    • @SCHMALLZZZ
      @SCHMALLZZZ 3 года назад +1

      From my point of view the droids are evil

    • @ShadowSkullz
      @ShadowSkullz 3 года назад

      Nice

    • @themanfromvolantis
      @themanfromvolantis 3 года назад +3

      Kenobi was full of lies. Telling Luke that he'd never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than Mos Eisley.
      Or was it a lie?
      Because Luke never did make it to Gotham City, so I suppose Kenobi could claim his statement was true.

    • @thecowboyofdrag
      @thecowboyofdrag 3 года назад +7

      Exactly. For example:
      "Only the Sith deal in absolutes"
      So why did Yoda say:
      "Do or do not, there is no try?"

  • @user-fc7is6jo2e
    @user-fc7is6jo2e 6 месяцев назад +1

    Outstanding Presentation! I had to subscribe after listening to this video. Thank you for making and sharing it.

  • @lopsidedc0rn875
    @lopsidedc0rn875 18 дней назад +7

    The military teaches you how to do this very well for instance, "responsible for the integrity of flight controls, corrosion prevention, and structural integrity of four aircraft." Is just a really fancy way to say that you checked cables for wear, wiped the aircraft down with a rag, and checked the safety wire holding the bolts in place.

  • @dasdasdadadadad8915
    @dasdasdadadadad8915 4 года назад +6148

    Eating one meal a day.
    Before: I am broke.
    Now: I am doing intermittent fasting.

    • @russellchido
      @russellchido 4 года назад +52

      intermittent

    • @clive7394
      @clive7394 4 года назад +92

      @Violet Sinclair I'm not broke and I do it. I do two meals a day though. I skip dinner. Why would I need food to sleep? Why should I give my body work to do when I should be resting? I don't need this extra meal. Now my body can focus on important things like healing, repair and resting instead of working to digest food I don't need.

    • @dasdasdadadadad8915
      @dasdasdadadadad8915 4 года назад +1

      qrpnxz ahh shiet thank you

    • @jovanleon7
      @jovanleon7 4 года назад +70

      .. due to economic misadventure

    • @Nvdatan
      @Nvdatan 4 года назад +20

      The Lop do u know what a joke is

  • @josephlynn85
    @josephlynn85 5 месяцев назад

    Great video

  • @pbDEMON
    @pbDEMON 6 месяцев назад +1

    Omg @8:19 I remember that game! Vegas Stakes for the SNES! Those slot machines were where it was at!

  • @piercer4882
    @piercer4882 4 года назад +5441

    That name "double speak" is outdated.. now we call it marketing..

    • @christophersurnname9967
      @christophersurnname9967 4 года назад +29

      Literally

    • @iRaven-_-
      @iRaven-_- 4 года назад +39

      Usually white people are the ones that use double speaking.

    • @christophersurnname9967
      @christophersurnname9967 4 года назад +113

      Wisdom Seeker lol maybe because usually white people are the ones to have jobs in the first place... like what are you gonna do some corporate double speak in the hood? Or fruit markets? Or serving up some French fries at McDonalds???? LOL

    • @karna5998
      @karna5998 4 года назад +39

      @@christophersurnname9967 ouch, bitter punch of truth

    • @iRaven-_-
      @iRaven-_- 4 года назад +9

      Christopher Surnname wtf you talking about?

  • @denilsonthomas
    @denilsonthomas 4 года назад +5108

    I’m not currently procrastinating, I’m mentally recouping by broadening my horizons through digital media.

    • @anteconfig5391
      @anteconfig5391 4 года назад +39

      Hey, HEY! no. Recouping is a necessary activity.

    • @Tom531Cat
      @Tom531Cat 4 года назад +9

      Ah being lazy.... I understand now.

    • @juv3ydvs3vb3vst7
      @juv3ydvs3vb3vst7 4 года назад +2

      Exactly

    • @mk1interactive944
      @mk1interactive944 4 года назад +6

      mmm... digital media, more like; the modernization of the previously non-though way of receiving information.

    • @stonerjeter1
      @stonerjeter1 4 года назад +2

      this. i like this

  • @schauseil187
    @schauseil187 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks. This video makes me feel much better about lying now ;)

  • @Aiden_o00
    @Aiden_o00 6 месяцев назад +8

    Crazy how companies can do this with statistics that actually matter.

    • @genkiferal7178
      @genkiferal7178 6 дней назад

      Our governments are corrupt and we allow them to be.

  • @FromDream2RealityNow
    @FromDream2RealityNow 3 года назад +5511

    The native fluent language of all politicians.

    • @sosig6445
      @sosig6445 2 года назад +37

      @Auto Zam there os very little difference

    • @arkdirfe
      @arkdirfe 2 года назад +25

      @@sosig6445 Mobsters have to at least be vaguely competent to keep their "job".

    • @shankaka_99
      @shankaka_99 2 года назад +22

      except trump. he just striaght up lies. and i dont know whther to praise him for it?

    • @hafe6659
      @hafe6659 2 года назад +19

      Let me guess someone made a trump comment

    • @shankaka_99
      @shankaka_99 2 года назад

      @@hafe6659 stop i actually did-

  • @fre_
    @fre_ 3 года назад +6993

    "Did you procrastinate?"
    "No, I simply rescheduled my assignments."
    EDIT : this is 1 year after the comment was posted, I have all but completely forgotten this comment I made lmfao wasn't expecting it to get likes at all, especially 6.9k, thanks a lot kekw

    • @kirito_kun5072
      @kirito_kun5072 3 года назад +246

      I prioritized leisure time.

    • @norfangl3480
      @norfangl3480 3 года назад +44

      No I'm just waiting

    • @Leo-jy5qm
      @Leo-jy5qm 3 года назад +2

      ae86

    • @DeonGaming
      @DeonGaming 3 года назад +12

      That's actually what I say to my boss.

    • @SlayerBG93
      @SlayerBG93 3 года назад +63

      No absolutely not. I engaged in reasearch aimed at improving my performance at a later date.

  • @konst1887
    @konst1887 6 месяцев назад

    Loving this voice

  • @NorthwestNicholas
    @NorthwestNicholas 4 месяца назад

    “Alternative Facts” is the first one that came to mind.

  • @CZECHMATE650
    @CZECHMATE650 3 года назад +2488

    Victim: "I was robbed!"
    Thief: "No I just started a new wealth redistribution program"

  • @nehyena7549
    @nehyena7549 3 года назад +2487

    "Your a drug dealer"
    "Nope, I'm just a humble street pharmacist"

    • @aero8893
      @aero8893 3 года назад +118

      Nope, you’re just self sufficient entrepreneurial botanist who uses there knowledge to create pharmaceutical products designed to make the patient get better on there own. Using your mobile situation your able to give away your products for the exchange of a piece of paper.

    • @choueriito2548
      @choueriito2548 3 года назад +5

      Or you're the one who knocks!

    • @Brakvash
      @Brakvash 3 года назад +46

      @@aero8893 Very few street pharmacists are self sufficient botanists, they usually have their wares delivered to them by the financially flexible familial conglomerates.

    • @ijemand5672
      @ijemand5672 3 года назад +2

      you're*

    • @nehyena7549
      @nehyena7549 3 года назад +3

      @@ijemand5672 thanks bro

  • @rickwilliams967
    @rickwilliams967 6 месяцев назад

    Throwing the Carlin clip in was perfect. Well played.

  • @demitriosdemarcusbartholom1442
    @demitriosdemarcusbartholom1442 6 месяцев назад

    I Acknowledge the Importance and the visuals that has been put into this Imagery. (this video is great)

  • @butter5842
    @butter5842 3 года назад +3890

    "So you're doing nothing to help us"
    Government: "We're committed to continued and sustained efforts to address your concerns"

  • @williampena197
    @williampena197 3 года назад +2195

    "Mcdonald's manager"
    "Sales director for a multi-billion company"

    • @anonymus3219
      @anonymus3219 3 года назад +5

      U copied this from another comment

    • @williampena197
      @williampena197 3 года назад +53

      I didn't but I'm not surprised that there are hundred of comments like this one way before made this comment.

    • @aaatoinfinity
      @aaatoinfinity 3 года назад +1

      Lol

    • @RudyVampburg
      @RudyVampburg 3 года назад +114

      @@anonymus3219 He did not "copy another person's comment," he merely rebuttaled the originality of a fellow entertainment enjoyer's statement.

    • @Clippers23
      @Clippers23 3 года назад +3

      Bank accountant
      People five me hundreds of bills from different currencies every day

  • @dieglhix
    @dieglhix 4 месяца назад

    This thing will get you further than any other studies

  • @spdracr
    @spdracr 6 месяцев назад +4

    Its not spawn camping, its tactical positioning.

  • @IanChristopher
    @IanChristopher 2 года назад +8473

    "We are not cheating, we are just exchanging knowledge for the mere purpose of presenting a better answer"

    • @TheSquidPro
      @TheSquidPro 2 года назад +139

      We came to the conclusion that having foreknowledge of certain assigned facts would present us the better outcome.

    • @HermeticallyHermeticThricGreat
      @HermeticallyHermeticThricGreat 2 года назад +14

      Just get to the point of and we can't get to the solution. Double speak is a powerful and lead's to Miss leading The And can't get fixed

    • @MedroffYT
      @MedroffYT 2 года назад +7

      Mere wasn’t needed

    • @jenniferskweter
      @jenniferskweter 2 года назад +3

      @@HermeticallyHermeticThricGreat I was just thinking abt Schrodinger's cat and then saw your username

    • @richardlooch2109
      @richardlooch2109 Год назад +9

      we are engaged in a mutual exchange of neural patterns for the mere and mutually beneficial purpose of enhancing the quality grade of our paper.

  • @33rdGemini
    @33rdGemini 3 года назад +2812

    When he said " waste management consultant", i thought he meant "garbage man" LOL

    • @SammytheStampede
      @SammytheStampede 3 года назад +97

      Well, we italians, you know...,

    • @excellentboiledpotato1667
      @excellentboiledpotato1667 3 года назад +65

      lmao i thought he meant "plumber"

    • @goleryarte3216
      @goleryarte3216 3 года назад +157

      Pretty sure he did, in the show his mob family is in the garbage business. I think that's what he meant, though you could I guess secondarily interpret it as an euphemism - maybe that's what the writers intended.

    • @visdarfrankas
      @visdarfrankas 3 года назад +50

      one more word, and it all makes sense - "human waste management consultant"

    • @nonaau4791
      @nonaau4791 3 года назад +34

      @@visdarfrankas human waste means poop though XD

  • @thedoctor0272
    @thedoctor0272 6 месяцев назад +1

    My favourite 2nd type words are mining terms. Skip, shaft, rib, back, floor, face, mucker. They are just simple yet complex to those who don’t know the industry.

  • @nocturnalverse5739
    @nocturnalverse5739 6 месяцев назад

    Brilliant description of the donner party, lol.

  • @JackSpad3s
    @JackSpad3s 4 года назад +3005

    "They asked if I had a degree in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics" - Fantastic

    • @JackSpad3s
      @JackSpad3s 4 года назад +7

      @Traveling Burrito Salesman protomen baby!!

    • @futureshock382
      @futureshock382 4 года назад +56

      Haha that one "scientist" from Fallout New Vegas

    • @PolarisIII
      @PolarisIII 4 года назад +2

      @@futureshock382 fantiastic, that was his name iirc

    • @rorty1540
      @rorty1540 4 года назад +1

      @@futureshock382 damn you beat me to it.

    • @jungeezy
      @jungeezy 4 года назад +22

      A New Vegas reference caught in the wild!? I’m so proud

  • @chewhooi
    @chewhooi 2 года назад +3189

    "he sustained injuries that is incompatible with life"
    HE DIED.

    • @thedooktroops5608
      @thedooktroops5608 2 года назад +45

      The blood do outside body

    • @riswald2723
      @riswald2723 2 года назад +2

      @@thedooktroops5608 00
      ___

    • @toyas400
      @toyas400 2 года назад +1

      😂😂

    • @KAZVorpal
      @KAZVorpal 2 года назад +3

      That is not how verb number works.

    • @TheSquidPro
      @TheSquidPro 2 года назад +5

      He was unable to continue doing what he loved in this world.

  • @bradtrillo5756
    @bradtrillo5756 6 месяцев назад

    Used to play Vegas stakes all the time as a kid seeing the intro again so unexpected was crazy

  • @Sirenity01
    @Sirenity01 4 месяца назад

    I mastered this awhile ago. It’s fun to use sometimes lol

  • @hktristan42
    @hktristan42 4 года назад +3226

    The "gambling industry" became the "gaming industry"
    Well I guess nowadays the opposite is true

    • @mimikal7548
      @mimikal7548 4 года назад +42

      nice

    • @lilericinnacut
      @lilericinnacut 4 года назад +17

      Lol I thought that what he meant

    • @mrfaade304
      @mrfaade304 4 года назад +1

      LilEric Inna'cut most gambling involves games, child.

    • @bruhmoment1835
      @bruhmoment1835 4 года назад +52

      @@mrfaade304 Okay, Boomer.

    • @JohnSmith-vw5fd
      @JohnSmith-vw5fd 4 года назад +4

      Just dont play rockstar or ea games. There is very little gambling if you avoid them 2 company's

  • @crazycomments2082
    @crazycomments2082 3 года назад +1815

    I changed a lightbulb.
    *I single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.*

    • @soupman7401
      @soupman7401 3 года назад +76

      the engineer

    • @toprelay
      @toprelay 3 года назад +19

      This guy, this guy, I’m going to use this.

    • @philbytan284
      @philbytan284 3 года назад +21

      Read this somewhere else before

    • @danielxmiller
      @danielxmiller 3 года назад +4

      @@philbytan284 where would anyone possibly write that anywhere else? lol

    • @philbytan284
      @philbytan284 3 года назад +8

      @@danielxmiller It's called the *original*

  • @chrisCNX7522
    @chrisCNX7522 6 месяцев назад

    thank you

  • @AimlessSavant
    @AimlessSavant 6 месяцев назад +3

    I am glad to have a natural repulsion to doublespeak. I can' imagine living blisfully unaware of the way people choose to "water down" subjects.
    It hits a certain trigger in me that instantly throws up the cynicist goggles. It is why ads never work whether or not they are a product I am interested in.

  • @rozzy3528
    @rozzy3528 4 года назад +38626

    I handle transactions for a multibillion dollar company.
    I work as a McDonalds Cashier

    • @AnthonyMartins1
      @AnthonyMartins1 4 года назад +904

      I actually laughed out loud... congrats xD

    • @MrTripsJ
      @MrTripsJ 4 года назад +214

      Sounds like Jeffrey Epstein

    • @PHOTOLOIART
      @PHOTOLOIART 4 года назад +133

      also serving embryo fetus aborted cell food .

    • @tumult04
      @tumult04 4 года назад +21

      Sounds like Dan peña lol

    • @HoGraz
      @HoGraz 4 года назад +191

      Erika I knew a guy who would use that line almost exactly to pick up women, and yes he worked at McDonald’s.

  • @deem0n__
    @deem0n__ 3 года назад +2393

    *So this is how Pinocchio lied to Prince Charming without his nose growing...*

  • @ziggyustar3137
    @ziggyustar3137 5 месяцев назад +1

    what makes Champagne expensive & unique is goes thru 2 separate fermentations giving it the continous bubbles rising/ Sparkling wine is wine with C02 blown into it

  • @jiachengchong689
    @jiachengchong689 5 месяцев назад

    I love it. Its a way of thinking about: 'I call bulls**t!'

  • @darkworlddenizen
    @darkworlddenizen 4 года назад +4823

    This is how I wrote all my papers in college.

    • @matthanlewis1959
      @matthanlewis1959 4 года назад +30

      How did that go?

    • @ReasonableRadio
      @ReasonableRadio 4 года назад +60

      I can't believe you're that guy

    • @lewdscholar8175
      @lewdscholar8175 4 года назад +68

      Yup I learned to write like this the hard way

    • @dogie1070
      @dogie1070 4 года назад +368

      I found my professor/TA gave me higher grades if I reflected their words used during the lecture.
      This also works in job applications when I describe duties I performed at previous positions and using the job announcement to shape my response using thier vocabulary.
      People are more receptive to what they are familiar with.

    • @hangtimedangjang
      @hangtimedangjang 4 года назад +81

      It's the only way to meet those length requirements!

  • @kloukk
    @kloukk 3 года назад +2084

    "Did you just fart?"
    "No, I just temporarily decreased the level of freshness in the air"

    • @yvonnevevo6788
      @yvonnevevo6788 3 года назад +81

      Lol no, I temporarily increased methane levels.

    • @racsomv.
      @racsomv. 3 года назад +58

      I simply carried out a functional bodily process to reduce certain elements from my anatomy in trade for the oxygen-rich elements from my surroundings

    • @benh5266
      @benh5266 3 года назад +18

      I facilitated a chemical transference process to increase the impact of pollutant detection in the local environment

    • @mongoose.official
      @mongoose.official 3 года назад +8

      K. LOUK the fungus and bacteria’s in my intestinal tract have just produced M2 and the muscles in my body have retracted as to reallocate the elements from my organism, into the atmosphere as a way to camouflage with mammals, more specifically the Mephitis (skunk).

    • @PascalSWE
      @PascalSWE 3 года назад +8

      An excess of pressure caused by vital and naturally occurring bacteria was recently resolved by my decision to expel said non-toxic excess into the atmosphere.

  • @brixiex2580
    @brixiex2580 6 месяцев назад +1

    this is such an important concept to understand, thanks for the video

  • @OnyxStudios720p
    @OnyxStudios720p 6 месяцев назад

    The best summary of doublespeak is someone who uses the manipulation of language in order to tell a lie that appears to be partially lined with the truth in order to deceive or mislead someone’s better judgement.

  • @gdhammr8113
    @gdhammr8113 2 года назад +6128

    “I didn’t kill him. I simply created an environment for him that his body found uninhabitable.”

    • @TonyAtma
      @TonyAtma 2 года назад +349

      No no, he's not dead, his primary metabolic processes have just stalled for an indefinite period.

    • @mariorolle489
      @mariorolle489 2 года назад +1

      Natural selection made him extinct... Nature taking course

    • @Producedbylevithomas
      @Producedbylevithomas 2 года назад +16

      No comment

    • @nickv1008
      @nickv1008 2 года назад +58

      The application of accelerated heavy metals objects into the persons body created a pressure imbalance that resulted in several essential bodily processes being impeded through cavitation and fluid leakage to the extent that the normal biological activity was severely hindered and eventually ceased. He will be missed.

    • @f.boogaloospook2318
      @f.boogaloospook2318 2 года назад +7

      He attack me with a chainsaw i got of right to defend myself

  • @xx5niperfoxxx676
    @xx5niperfoxxx676 3 года назад +1674

    “So you’re a legal grave robber?”
    “No, I’m an archeologist!”

    • @goroakechi6126
      @goroakechi6126 3 года назад +32

      IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM

    • @hammedburger3712
      @hammedburger3712 3 года назад +5

      Tf are dinosaurs gonna do to stop them from digging up their skeletons

    • @dickjohnson9582
      @dickjohnson9582 3 года назад +5

      @@goroakechi6126 SO DO YOU

    • @dynamicflashy
      @dynamicflashy 3 года назад +12

      @@hammedburger3712 Paleontologists.

    • @rudyvalle
      @rudyvalle 3 года назад

      Brilliant

  • @ZnamTwojaMama101
    @ZnamTwojaMama101 6 месяцев назад

    Thanks mate, I want to use this for my evil manipulator pdf file character. He sometimes uses doublespeak to better manipulate the boy he is obsessed with.

  • @milktucker405
    @milktucker405 6 месяцев назад +1

    They are "Safe and Effective" 😊

  • @danstartsfires
    @danstartsfires 3 года назад +1001

    I used to tell people I was a "Retail Asset Transference Relocation Engineer"
    I was a cart attendant at Target.