I’ve been watching your videos for months and did not put anything in practice, but 2 weeks ago I decided to practice talking to girls and working on my confidence. I actually went to a date last week and it was wonderful! Thank you Denmo for the knowledge to help me boost my confidence PS: I ain’t handsome or fit, for anyone else reading this, just try talking to women, eventually you will meet someone nice enough to go on a date
I watched a dude shoot his shot and get rejected the other day when i was in the subway. He tried to get a fist bump and she was ignoring him. As cringe as it was, i can still respect his hussle lol.
Thanks. I think that was me. No I kid. Thing is though, not to take it personally when that happens. Mabey she's in a weird mood, mabey she had a bad day, mabey she's a mental case, mabey she just shit her pants and is all self conscious, or mabey she's just a bitch. But she doesn't represent a whole demographic of cute girls, she only represents herself.
But why do you think it's painful, he would probably feel much more miserable if he wouldn't have grabbed that chance by the tail, if you don't shoot your shot, you're basically rejecting yourself, don't you think? 😅 As long as your intention is genuine and not just to get laid ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@Jedilord882 pretty girls get approached by complete douche bags who dont care about anything or total weirdos who lack the capacity to care about anything. The guys they actually want are too scared to talk to them
@@Jedilord882 yep because there is still a divide between pretty girls and normal looking girls. Usually the pretty girls have been herded into a social status where they know that they are PRETTIER than average, even way prettier. So if you do not have ambitions, if you dont look the part, those girls will have nothing to do with you. ambition is something most girls look for, but its harder if you want a pretty girl. Do not be a perfectionist, settle for someone who is decent enough in your eyes and mind. You rather want a down to earth girl over a girl that puts her image or looks above everything else.
4:27 I'd like to add the following (probably irrational) fears: - coming off as try-hard when other people see you approaching multiple times - accidentally running into the same person twice and not recognizing it (happened to me once and it was so awkward)
You have to question whether you are actually being "try hard" tho.. as in ask yourself, am I here for a good time? am I enjoying this? If not, you will come off as someone on the prowl/predatory continuously stopping women in the streets lol Be fun/engaging in a natural setting and you will naturally attract women who are interested in your energy.
Haha that was one time I tried to boost my confidence and social skills asking people for how much time it is, and I asked one girl twice, and she was like "are you in real, I told you 5 minutes ago" 😂
Yeeaah, can totally relate, i got face blindness, means i sometimes don't even recognize my family members. Also, i personally wouldn't do it on only one street, but change the street and place on that street, like walk 50-100m back and forth, also if i would encounter such a situation, i would just think, "nice, this buddy is training his social skills" and show him 👍. Always appreciate one's hustle, we are all in this together.😅
This website was a great find! I purchased a book that’s already making a positive impact on my mindset. Fingers crossed it helps me overcome my fear of approaching women.
Don’t let those few seconds go by bro. The same way you throw a kid in a pool to teach ‘em to swim, you gotta throw yourself into uncomfortable situations to get better at them. The first few will feel like death but it’ll get easier as soon as you realized afterwards that all of your limbs are still intact. If you haven’t noticed yet I’ve already gone through this. You got this 👍
Stop caring, talk to them like they're an elderly person. Crack jokes. And then walk away, don't even ask for their number, don't even let it cross your mind. Only if they seem really into you, if they seem like they really badly want you to ask, then ask. Otherwise just be friendly and go about your way. If you do this over a long period of time, you will get so comfortable, that when there is a girl you want to approach indefinitely ask for her number, it will feel like absolutely nothing to do it.
You got in your own head. There are many ways to get out of your head. Call someone you already know just to have a 30-second conversation. If there is another guy nearby, strike up a quick convo with him first. If there is no one else around, try to clear your mind of the task at hand and think of a joke or something that makes you laugh. Then as soon as youre done with that, approach, a simple "Hey I seen you standing here and thought you were cute so I just had to introduce myself, my name is blank, what is your name?"
Although some of their advice may be outdated and won't apply as much to younger generations since when they were young, they didn't have the the same tech and social media or social trends that exists today
One thing that works pretty well for me is that u just gonna ask for some directions and when u realize she´s happy to help you out, just continue the conversation like "hey thanks - you were really helpful, btw what´s your name etc... and usually it goes somewhere .. idk I´m from germany so I´m not sure if girls around the US react the same way but from what I experienced in Miami, girls in america are pretty easy to handle xD cheers
Small talk training. Talk to your wall or with a partner. Write cards with locations, hobbies, occupations on them and try to relate to the words, adding some piece of information of your own. Don't just ask questions. This will come off as weird. You will get better eventually. Try to bring in some humor and enjoy yourself. If they start asking back some questions, they are generally interested. Ask them to drink a coffee some time and get the number.
I’m about to turn 22 next month and I’m still single. But I will say, I feel I’ve definitely improved my confidence with girls over the past year. Over 2023, I had a lineup of many 21sts to attend to. I’m not the type of guy who goes out my way to approach girls minding their own business on college campuses to tell them their beautiful, so I relied on these 21sts as an opportunity to develop my confidence with girls. And honestly, it does feel like I’m different from before. I feel way more confident in my interactions with girls, know better how to make them feel good and comfortable in conversation, and have discovered a neat party trick to make girls swoon (making napkins roses) and have been complimented as “handsome” by certain girls. Last month at this girl’s 21st, I made her a napkin rose and for that she gave me a cheek kiss. In the meantime, I’ve gotten stronger at the gym, have become a god of calisthenics (with many people even telling me they want to be just like me when it comes to doing weighted pull ups and chin ups) and also I was told by a mate that genetically, I have a 1 in a million physique. 2024 is my time to further level up. It’s time I better put myself out there.
Good luck, I found my girl when I was 22. That year I tried to date someone else but it wasn't it. Then someone arrived from nowhere. Keep doing what you're doing right now!
It's easy to say "Stop being scared" when you are attractive. Girls automatically are friendly with you because you are attractive. For guys like me who aren't attractive, we're just called weirdos when we try to talk to attractive girls.
Bro you missed the point, you need to start practicing talking to different people before you start talking to hot girls, you only get good on something when you got experience on it, start by talking to ugly girls for example, you'll notice that it doesn't have that pressure of being rejected, then start talking to less ugly and so on, you'll get confidence and will be more attractive then
Меня девушки считают чудиком ни разу не увидев меня, при разговоре по телефону, по переписке. Чтобы быть приятным человеком достаточно соблюдать гигиену и улыбаться
Idk, I was ugly and really skinny for the majority of middle school and highschool and was bullied a bit, and I also moved halfway through highschool. But I kinda grew out of it, the acne went away, braces came off, and I started to work out Now like 3 years later I am not but ugly anymore, and I’m in shape, but I think I am scarred from that experience, and I won’t recover from it. Regained 0 confidence after gaining 30 pounds of muscle. If anything, I think it’s worse now. I just decided it’s better to not try, and to try to not worry about it, and just focus on working
@@redthunder6183 if you're not short you have a chance. but honestly i agree with your perspective. women are simply not worth the effort. it's stupid how much is expected of us just to get a conversation lol. i want to start working out this summer even though it feels kind of pointless since i'm short and ugly but reading your comment was weirdly motivational lol
If you are somewhat charismatic unless you are a gremlin you can talk to a girl. It’s about practice and about not expecting to gain something from it. Maybe you learn a cool tip or you both laugh at a joke. You don’t always have to get a phone number or date after one conversation. Take the pressure off and just talk them like they are a new friend.
If you are in your 20’s, guys, just go out and play the field and do things like this. Even if you fail! You will survive and be better for it. Trust me! I’m 51 and still single. I wish I didn’t t take things so seriously earlier in life
Man, you’re great, your confidence is through the roof. What you said in this video about not talking to women because your just focused on one woman and feel like your in the spotlight is true, it’s most likely the reason I’m single now and have been for the last 15+ years, I’m afraid to shoot my shot. Thank you for this video, it really helps me out and gave me more confidence to just put myself out there.
I literally went to the mall today after watching my first Denmo video as it gave me so much hope and confidence that you "just need to apply it" And the first girl was nice enough but said "I'm actually engaged", I just brushed it off saying "oh when's the wedding?" and she said they don't have a date yet, so I said congratulations and went on to talk to 2 other girls. Mind you they were all retail workers as I literally did it for the first time EVER, but it's still a huge win. When you realize ALL the knowledge in the world won't help until you apply it, that's when your life will change
Believing what you just said would be devastating, akin to suicide. Hot chicks are NOT afraid of you or any other man. They know they're smarter, craftier and do not have the pesky conscience bothering them when they do evil. Please don't teach men that women are afraid of them, They are not and those men believing that would be sitting ducks for the first evil chicks to happen upon him. It would be safer to skydive without a parachute. That has some chance of survival.
This might be one of the single most important videos/concepts on RUclips. It's all a numbers game, you create options by trying a lot and then you get your choice... and don't take rejection personally or seriously because nobody cares. You can literally apply this idea to business, goals, and of course finding a mate. Great shit bro.
Denmo is always on the grind. I love you, bro. Even if I fail every day, I am trying and trying to meet girls and I will continue to support and watch you videos😊
A good piece of mental health advice I learned from Dr. K (HealthyGamerGG) on youtube a few months back that I really try to employ always now is don't read into situations. Don't go through life telling yourself something is happening or someone is saying something behind your back just because a certain situation arises that could support your delusion. Like 2 girls laughing in a room where it's only you and them. No they are not laughing at you. In your case, she literally could have moved. She could have met a guy and goes to his gym now. She could have died. Her job could have sent her on rotation to a different city for several months. Like we could do this all day right? And those are positive guesses that are equally viable. So instead, just don't think about either at all. Don't fabricate explanations for situations where all this doomer guessing needs to take place just to conclude to yourself that you suck.
I talked like this for a girl who is really really pretty for a day. And from the next day onwards she stopped coming to that place that we used to meet
That *might* (I'm assuming here) mean you lack either the confidence in speaking or body language. But you *do* have the confidence to approach. Keep that confidence to approach and just be mindful of you confident your speech sounds, and how you present yourself in terms of clothing, haircut, and posture. Also understand failures do happen, but each time you talk with a pretty girl like this and don't let it bother you, you gain more experience and comfort with the idea. You're leveling up.
4:00 Guys need to understand, the woman will always be more "beautiful" than we are because they are the gender that focuses on beauty. So stop saying a woman is out of your league because she's more beautiful than you. If you are more beautiful than your woman, you're either Tom Cruise OR she's flat out unattractive. With that said, the woman will always be more beautiful than you.
I’ve actually started to talk with strangers some time ago, now I befriended basically everyone in the gym and when the conversation starts with anyone, it just flows. A week ago my mum asked me to translate for one of her clients (23 army girl deployed in my country). We had a really good vibe (mum said she saw her smiling all the time), gave her a ride to the train station and before I could think of getting her contact, she asked for it first. We started talking and I was genuinely interested in her so I had no problem keeping up the conversation, in a meantime I offered grabbing ramen since we both liked Japanese cuisine, she said yes but then she started throwing obstacles at me… things like curfew, she can’t leave base alone, she’s getting this exact day tattoo etc. On the day of meeting she said that in addition to her friend, some guy friend would come (at this point I just wanted to talk, practice English and eat ramen) so I said whatever, and then some time later „btw I wanna make sure you know I have a bf so I’m not trying to flirt with you, just wanna be friends”… well I guess she hates her friends because that was her last message, and after like 4 more from me she left them on read and I got ghosted for whatever reason. I truly am confused…
@@adamboujouf5133 Yeah, got the same conclusion, tho I don't really regret much there, well maybe the last messeges on my part because the bf text caught me off guard and I replied on impulse but that will stay with me as a reminder to never do it again this way. Overall this experience motivated me to push forward, be more extroverted towards people and keep working on myself even more.
Sounds like it wasn't any big fumble on your part bro. Keep trying and being intentional, you'll find someone in the first 100 you ask out I bet. Gott get through the 99 first, so get going!
@@joshuadunham3018 Thanks for the late reply! Got an update tho… At the begging of may I’ve downloaded Tinder, went on a first meetup a few days later, she was cool but it just didn’t click. Then matched with a second girl that was not really looking for anything because she recently got broken with (she got attached quickly so she was heartbroken), we instantly got this old friends vibe and we were talking everyday, and the time on our meetups flew faster than we could notice. She was kinda cheering when it came to next matches (and one more meet) but I wasn’t feeling like meeting up with any more girls, and I realized that I wanted to give her a serious shot. Some time passed and as of today we’ve been together for over a month, and I know it sounds like a rushed thing but it feels kinda… natural tbh. So yeah, you were right :) And she likes to find cheap city break flights and so we have a trip to Rome next week which will be fun for sure!
Keep pumping out positivity into the universe man. Every guy you inspire and empower goes and proves the manosphere wrong and that guy is another saved.
Dude, your content is really refreshing. It's not the standard PUA technical stuff that gets guys more confused than it actually helps them, but instead it's just straight out common sense, no BS advice. Guys need this sort of content, especially younger guys. Wish I had something like this 15 years ago. Keep it up!
I was getting ready to message a woman, and as I was about to hit send I could feel some anxiety there, it really was giving me second thoughts. I haven't asked women in a long time, those feelings of social anxiety coming back to me, well maybe not full-blown of course It is a mix of exciting and scary at the same time, and the more you linger on it the bigger it gets it seems. The message was sent though, now I'm going to be like, "did I do the right thing?" I'll try not to worry about it, I'll just have to wait and see.
I'm not scared of them anymore. I juat don't care. I have plans and goals and I'm focused on those. If I meet someone along the way, cool. Not stressing about this anymore.
I’ve approached over 50 women and have been rejected by all of them except one. But the one who didn’t reject me, actually ended up flaking on me the day we had scheduled to go out on a date. The problem is, where I live there’s not much places to go to meet women or people in general, you have to rely on the bar scene and that usually only works if you’re very attractive. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I’d say I’m fairly average looking and so I don’t fall into the “very attractive” category. I try to rely on my other good qualities, but often times girls do not even give me a chance to show those qualities
Bro, don't lose hope. There are plenty of girls out there who would be lucky to have you. You can always try again. These girls have so many options that it's hard for them to choose us over someone else. If we as men had that many choices too, we would have done the same thing. So, put yourself out there. Talk to all the pretty girls you like and just hope for the best. I'm sure you'll find your girl if you approach the next 10 girls after reading this comment. I believe in you!
Have a relationship with Jesus. in the Bible it says being single is actually much better bc u can focus on God. He will guide you to finding the right person
@@danielleg6638biblical god sounds like a total narcissist, its all about "me me me me" for him. I would never worship any god let alone one like this...
@@danielleg6638 that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all year. We’re biologically wired and designed by ‘God’ to connect and experience intimacy. Why would you want to give up on an instinct that so ingrained in us just for some superstitious belief? If some poor chap reads your comment, takes it to heart, he’ll probably never get laid
You get nervous because when you see a girl, you want to be with, or have a relationship with, you may not see her again if you don't speak up. You don't think that way with guys. You aren't going up to guys thinking....HOW CAN I MAKE THIS DUDE MY FRIEND? HE LOOKS COOL and I'll love to hang out with him. It just happens and if not, it's fine. With girls, you may not see her again....at the store, in passing, etc. So you need to think of something really good to say, and most of us won't. I know I missed so many chances by doing nothing.
Thank you so much denmo. Felt like this vid was just for me. U r actually right. I do gotta get out of my comfort zone of women. Everything u have described in this video rlly hit a reality check on me. Yes I go to the gym everyday to work on myself n goals but I still have this social anxiety on talkin to people in general. Whenever I’m talkin to sum 1 n their is a blank of silence between the conversation, im in my head sayin “idk what to say, what should i say, etc” n thats a problem with me rn. So imma take your advice for now on and talk to at least 5 different people everyday and try to make new friends that way I can make a conversation with a women less stressful or sum like dat. Wish me luck 🙏🏽😅!!
I can easily talk to strangers, I talk to random people loads of times, though I rarely start the conversation myself, but I just CANNOT bring myself to just randomly approach women. I feel like women do not want to be approached, they don't want to talk to me which makes me WAY to scared to do it. Got any tips for me? I am exceptionally ugly also, though I do take care of myself.
In my experience, just owning that you find her attractive is helpful. It is taken as a genuine compliment Both the compliment as well as genuine positive conversation can brighten anyone’s day
7:48 I can confirm that this is very real, if you just shoot up short conversations with some people you will develop a lot of confidence, you will lose the pressure of starting if you consistently doing it
ive been taking your advice for a while until i was ready to go out on my own, now i can have a conversation with any girl with full confidence, i just gotta find something good to talk about
You may have 4 billion options but remember, well over half of those would result in your demise, a portion would deceive and destroy you, another portion would cheat on you, another portion would chain you and keep you as a toy in their basement, another portion would be CIA agents, are you getting the point? 4 billion options = 20 to 30 girls that might not kill you but let's face it, they are a serious risk too.
on the point you're making at 10:30, i noticed even if as a guy you dont care about what surrounds you (which is hard to pull off in the beginning) its still a decisive factor for the conversation you gonna carry with your target. Because girls would care a lot avbout that. If u go upfront to a girl in a busy metro, shes most likely to reject you even if you're a 10, simply because she'll feel ankward and on the spotlight, while not wanting to show she's an easy girl sharing her number out like this. So even if in general case you have to act regardless of the people around, still go for situation which are socially calibrated and not pressured one for girls
Main issues for me i wouldn't say confidence or what not, maybe a little shy, but yes, confidence does need improving ofc. But around some people i tend to stutter/freeze some words which makes me overthink what to say, which i guess leads into freezing on words again, which leads me to just not try and talk to people. Not really sure the cause of it though :/
True bro, tho it’s simply hormones, tho also ptsd cos the worst she can say is NOT “no”, it’s calling u a “predator”, making false allegations against u, etc so…. 😓💙
Yep this right here. As long as you're not being creepy or making her feel uncomfortable or she rejecting you and you don't take it very well. But if you approach her like a normal person and just say hi to her and see if you two vibe well to go out on a date or meetup later on during the week, then it's ok. It's ok to talk to girls in public. It's ok to approach women in public as long as you're doing it the right way. @@doorey2
This is GOLD. Even though I'm already out of that phase of being scared of everything (took that trip on my own and figured out how not to give a f**k about little things). But if I still was that would definitely help me for sure. If I'd be doing this kind of videos that would be exactly what I'd be saying. Gladly there's so many likes and it deserves even more.
Hey Denmo idk if you’re gonna see this, but I’v been struggling with social anxiety for most of my life at 28 years old, and being afraid and uncomfortable around women was my default. I still struggle with this, but I complimented this girl at the gym, and man it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I got a long way to go, but thank you for these videos man, I won’t be bitter.
i saved the video cuz i think it's very helpful!! Thank you so much for all the informations you shared to us. I'm in Australia right now and i'm trying to getting out of my comfort zone and make new friends, especially girls. I reckon i have to work a lot on my energy during the conversion, because i getting scared and i arrive at the final point in my mind. I should enjoy the moment. There is this girl in the gym that makes me crazy, i should talk to her
Not endorsing anything but after some funny candy, a rave suddenly turns into a meetup with 2000 best friends you've never met, i left with 38 new contact info's, going on a date this sunday with one of the girls i vibed with
*It’s easy to forget that looks are just one part of who a person is. Once you start seeing pretty girls as regular people with their own insecurities, it becomes so much easier to talk to them.*
Pretty girls make me lose confidence because I know so many other more attractive guys than me have already talked to them with their game, and I have none, so thats what scares me about them. The pretty women have more options/men to choose from, so why even bother trying if you aren't in the top 10% that they want to begin with?
If she's single than those men probably weren't what she was looking for. You never know when you'll find your match, but you can be fairly certain you won't if you don't try. My man is quiet and reserved. I actually had to work a bit for him. Not every girl wants a super outgoing/confident man with these huge ambitions. Some of us just want a man that will love us for who we are and be there through thick and thin. I hope you find yours!
@@MaidenMacabre Consider me a need-someone-to-work-a-bit-for-me guy then lol I've seen situations like yours on here and irl with a friend and honestly I'm so envious of those guys. Where a girl in their advantageous position of power to make something happen or not happen actually sort of drive things forward. It is exhausting to fake not being a quieter shyer guy when it is exactly who I am (mainly to new people). I open up after the fact, but it's too late at that point if I'm to never see someone again or someone I do see regularly writes me off because I'm closed off until later on
Great video. I have made some progress I talked to a very beautiful girl today. She seemed nervous also when we were talking. But she asked what my name was after i asked her for hers. But she said she was going back to California tomorrow and only visiting. I didn't get her number but if she didn't keep kind of walking away after every sentence I would have. But her friend walked over so I lost the moment of one on one. But this can be considered my beginning of talking to at least one girl a day.
Omg, i too put women on a pedestal, than i realized they are as human as me, also they can't do nothing against being pretty, hell many of them don't even feel pretty in their eyes. Once you get that, it's becomes easier. 😅 I recently had 2 instances were absolut gorgeous girls stared at me for 5 seconds, and just thought "wtf, this never happened to me, what's going on" So, I'm currently gathering my courage the next time something like that happens to just shoot my shot,(ofc after checking if the stare wasn't related to something in my face or such thing), approach her, and say some most basic upfront sentence like "hey i noticed your gaze and thought you're pretty cute, so i thought maybe you want to get to know each other" i mean what i got to lose, right. If she says no, i wish her a nice day and go about my day. Aand i probably won't feel down, because i at least shot my shot. People are so afraid of rejection, but if you don't try, you're rejecting basically yourself and that says a lot about your self worth. And would you like to be together with someone who doesn't see worth in themselves??? 🤔 Sometimes you just gotta reverse the roles, yk.
Update: So erm, i realized I'm simply not made for a relationship, i wanted someone to fill the loneliness, smone to wake up next to and cuddle in the morning, someone i can care for and pamper if she is sick, sm1 that likes me for who i am. Tho, recently a woman in the bus had to shove herself past me and our faces almost touched, could feel her breath and what can i say, it was rather scary, i kinda had really tiny panik attack, i seem to have developed a fear of being touched by women, due to not been for 16 years, soo yeah, that was it for me and dating and relationships, i simply have to get happy by being maybe admired by women from afar for my physique and die alone. But nonetheless, i wish you guys luck. 👍
I don't think guys are afraid of pretty girls, they are reluctant to approach when pretty girls have attitudes or from my experience they are insecure and don't know how to interact with guys. It's the secure pretty girls who are easy to approach.
I never really approached any stranger to start a conversation, but here's a random mental trick i use when i get into an awkward situation around a girl: i just tell myself "she is not my girlfriend, she will never be and this is the last time i'll see her in my life" and i instantly forget about the situation. You can use it if you get in a situation like that to avoid feeling awkward.
2:22 downside is, their jealous boyfriend (which i can not know if she has) comes immediately to guard them and i stuck like "i just said hi" and they thinks i bother the girl some reason. that's why i stopped approaching girls even doesn't enter their areas, or not looking them. if there is a girl i intentionally look somewhere else all the time to not bother them and to not hassle th their potential boy friends.
it's 7pm here in uk. I am currently the most scared I've ever been to cold approach women. Tomorrow I will go and approach a girl. I am putting this comment on this video to hold me accountable and that way it forces me to change.
Very good video my man! I want to add a tid bit. If you have a lot of hobbies especially cool hobbies like outdoor sports, hunting, fishing, skiing, boating, camping, playing sports, building things or working on your own vehicle. It puts u in a confident mindset because you can tell yourself I do all of this and I'm not a dork. So on top of everything he told you get some cool hobbies because then u have the mind set that the girl is fortunate to be with u based on your life style. Independence is sexy to women just my 2 cents. But awesome video!
There is no need to be afraid of beautiful girls, because the maximum result you will have is getting a chance to talk to them for a few minutes. On very special occasions, you will get a little closer to their friend zone. The average girls (usually with heavy makeup and self-esteem in the clouds) will not even talk, they will be just rude.
Never had problems with talking to girls until after a traumatic pretty long-term relationship that made me depressed and sit inside a lot, lost the feeling totally, but i'm improving and getting there again. Shame my 20's have passed in the meantime haha
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. This is one of the biggest things guys struggle with, and arguably the number one. The value and knowledge this man is sharing as well worth tens of thousands.
That last part about wasting time is how I got to start APPLYING the knowledge. I was like "I'm gonna take 1 tour around the mall after work every day for about 20 minutes and open a conversation with just 1 girl" That will take away my time from gaming (which I love) but I look at it like "well after 20 minutes I can still come back home and game" But I'll also have the accomplishment of having talked to at least 1 girl a day.
I accepted this challenge of always talking to someone when the opportunity arises and this week I went to buy, I think, a sheet and the girl at the checkout was kind of cute and I was thinking about what to say when I saw her hello kitty tattoo and commented. She surprisingly got excited and explained that she was a dark style hello kitty with a devil's tail. She instantly blushed and I stopped, not knowing what to say. But anyway, I know where she works and the next time we see each other I'll have an opportunity to talk to her again.
After years of being too scared I finally started working on myself, went to therapy, started becoming more social, and now I can talk with pretty much anyone. Sadly now I'm too old for cute girls, so I guess I'll still die alone, or maybe I'll settle when I'm desperate enough.
I met my wife because no one was talking to her and I walked up all chill, listening to music, struck up a conversation, and asked if she wanted to listen to my music with me. Passed her the earbud and tested her knowledge of Led Zeppelin, turned out she was a savant. Got coffee, then went on dates, the rest is history. DO NOT be the guy that has something to say and doesn't say it because you're putting her on a pedestal.
10:35 no, but I classify people and if there's some guy with a girlfriend I notice. And I've never seen somebody cold approach somebody else in public in real life.
When the person is right on the inside, then their world will be too. When you're not right on the inside, you will find fault with everything around you.
I've not approached a woman in over 17 years. It's not that I'm afraid to approach women, it just pisses me off that men are expected to do all the approaching and go through all the rejection. It's the unfairness that stops me approaching women.
I like this girl right now and have had many opportunities to ask her our or say what I think about her and sometimes I'll even set a date aside saying that would be the day I tell her, but I haven't yet, and now I'm scared my brain won't allow me before another guy does it first. I absolutely hate the fact that I get angry or frustrated when people say things like the title of this very video, stuff like, just do it, you'll survive, and stuff like that, but even when I tell myself these things right before getting ready to talk to an attractive girl or my "crush" my brain shuts down. I wish there was other advice than just go to the gym and just do it, but I don't think there is, which is why celibacy seems to be the path I'm taking. Edit: if you know any other advice or would just like to say something in the replies, go ahead, constructive criticism is 'good' though in my experiences it pisses me off lol. don't worry I'll try not to get mad at what y'all say, I'm trying to ask her before it's too late and then I regret not doing anything about it. -Thanks.
It's not that I'm "too scared" to talk to women, when I am in situations where I am forced to interact with others including "attractive" women then I can do it just fine & even well as many even "attractive" women have told me I'm "very attractive" myself & sociable. What it is for me is more of a case of not wanting to talk to any woman just because I find her attractive, that's superficial not to mention rude, you wouldn't go up to a black person to yell racial slurs at them simply because you hate them for being black, that's not only stupid but also evil since you're judging them for their appearance rather than their character without even considering how that could lead to you getting in legal trouble potentially. The same thing applies to "attractive" women. I care about a woman's character far more than her looks, what good is she if she's "attractive" but is rude & not a virgin? Not to mention very few men actually go up in public to talk to women & the ones who do, studies show, are actually more likely to be psychopaths hence the creepy guy stereotype as those are the only men who go up to women they don't know in public & talk to them.
i dont have nothing to say cause i haven't had a friend in some years so its hard to keep a convo. i have social anxiety but i been tryna fix it. eye contact so bad idk what happened
@@bro918 I get it. The fact that our bodies and brains are entirely dictated by our genetics and the fact that we don’t even get to choose is messed up. I’m sorry, wasn’t trying to be a dick
Men aren't actually scared of pretty girls. We just already know the outcome. We know that unless we're the 6'2" hot millionaire, there's a chance she's yelling for security to come rescue her from the creep who is about to attack her.
Most women when you approach them are just fine, really the more nervous you are, the more uncomfortable they are, if you're relaxed then they will be relaxed. You really have to trick your brain into not worrying about it. Also don't think that you have to approach every attractive woman, cut yourself a little slack. You have to relax, and that's not possible if every attractive girl you see you beat yourself up really badly because you didn't ask her out. Here's another thing, not every woman is worth it. Think about it like a job interview, the best way to get a job, is to turn the interview around, and start interviewing the boss. Once you flip the tables around, then the girl is begging for you to ask for her number.
That kind of blackpill thinking will be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you keep believing it. You *will* either never find someone or else you will settle for someone you aren't really into (or if you are into her you'll forever have a toxic insecurity as you worry she'll go for someone "better"). Those girls looking for a millionare/6'2"+ and not accepting anything less are the ones you see online because they get more views. The typical woman doesn't actually have that delusion, and furthermore most people, men and women alike, might say they have a requirement only to realize after meeting someone and enjoying talking to them that the "requirement" wasn't quite as important as they thought, just a preference. But you're going to have to do the scary thing and accept getting rejected 5, 10, or 100 times (and be willing to potentially let go of some of the girls who do say "yes" if you realize they aren't actually a great match). For the record, I think you have it in you to do that, if you make up your mind to.
problem is for example me i dont have much things to talk or i find hard to tease! that make problem for me not just confidence i am this even to men/boys!!
The reason why it’s easy to forget that other people don’t care about our mistakes is because we live inside of our own bodies so half time we as individual people are all we think about and others are what we think about sometimes but we forget that other people are the same way therefore we, individual people, the less than 1% fraction of all the spotlight of others, are not the spotlight of their attention
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Become a Socializer in 30 days: www.socializer.school
Lool, "My mom thought I was disabled when I was a kid" what a punch line
Took me 0:44 seconds to get triggered on this video shame on Denmo for hating disabled men
Or I can become a socialist for free
like a cute girl i got chattin to at the cinema, thinking everyones watchin etc. and I've a limited amount of time to make contact.
I’ve been watching your videos for months and did not put anything in practice, but 2 weeks ago I decided to practice talking to girls and working on my confidence. I actually went to a date last week and it was wonderful! Thank you Denmo for the knowledge to help me boost my confidence
PS: I ain’t handsome or fit, for anyone else reading this, just try talking to women, eventually you will meet someone nice enough to go on a date
you are a legend. send me an email i got something for you john
Thanks Jack, what is your email address?
Legend - I’m going out tomorrow to put myself out there - terrified but will do it anyway
@@cryptofierce7431did you do it?
Even people with good genetics are absolutely terrified without practice 😂
I watched a dude shoot his shot and get rejected the other day when i was in the subway. He tried to get a fist bump and she was ignoring him. As cringe as it was, i can still respect his hussle lol.
Hahaha. Been there bro. Feel his pain lol.
Thanks. I think that was me. No I kid. Thing is though, not to take it personally when that happens. Mabey she's in a weird mood, mabey she had a bad day, mabey she's a mental case, mabey she just shit her pants and is all self conscious, or mabey she's just a bitch. But she doesn't represent a whole demographic of cute girls, she only represents herself.
But why do you think it's painful, he would probably feel much more miserable if he wouldn't have grabbed that chance by the tail, if you don't shoot your shot, you're basically rejecting yourself, don't you think? 😅
As long as your intention is genuine and not just to get laid ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@watchdog6619 wow , "rejecting youurself" , couldnt had said it better , thanks bro
Bet he wasnt a chad then ?
Pretty girls are EASIER to approach because everyone else is too scared to talk to them
facts
U right my bro, I don’t even make eye contact with them 😔
@@BeWaterMyFrendThey likely want nothing to do with you to begin with. Keeping it real.
@@Jedilord882 pretty girls get approached by complete douche bags who dont care about anything or total weirdos who lack the capacity to care about anything. The guys they actually want are too scared to talk to them
@@Jedilord882 yep because there is still a divide between pretty girls and normal looking girls. Usually the pretty girls have been herded into a social status where they know that they are PRETTIER than average, even way prettier. So if you do not have ambitions, if you dont look the part, those girls will have nothing to do with you. ambition is something most girls look for, but its harder if you want a pretty girl. Do not be a perfectionist, settle for someone who is decent enough in your eyes and mind. You rather want a down to earth girl over a girl that puts her image or looks above everything else.
4:27 I'd like to add the following (probably irrational) fears:
- coming off as try-hard when other people see you approaching multiple times
- accidentally running into the same person twice and not recognizing it (happened to me once and it was so awkward)
You have to question whether you are actually being "try hard" tho.. as in ask yourself, am I here for a good time? am I enjoying this? If not, you will come off as someone on the prowl/predatory continuously stopping women in the streets lol
Be fun/engaging in a natural setting and you will naturally attract women who are interested in your energy.
Haha that was one time I tried to boost my confidence and social skills asking people for how much time it is, and I asked one girl twice, and she was like "are you in real, I told you 5 minutes ago" 😂
Yeeaah, can totally relate, i got face blindness, means i sometimes don't even recognize my family members.
Also, i personally wouldn't do it on only one street, but change the street and place on that street, like walk 50-100m back and forth, also if i would encounter such a situation, i would just think, "nice, this buddy is training his social skills" and show him 👍. Always appreciate one's hustle, we are all in this together.😅
And your still alive
That's so accurate. I'm personally afraid I might be seen as "the guy who approaches women"
The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so crazyy
This website was a great find! I purchased a book that’s already making a positive impact on my mindset. Fingers crossed it helps me overcome my fear of approaching women.
Hesitation is my biggest problem. By the time a couple seconds go by I alr imagine the worst outcome and reject myself before saying anything
Don’t reject yourself brah 💪🏻 keep lifting
Don’t let those few seconds go by bro. The same way you throw a kid in a pool to teach ‘em to swim, you gotta throw yourself into uncomfortable situations to get better at them. The first few will feel like death but it’ll get easier as soon as you realized afterwards that all of your limbs are still intact. If you haven’t noticed yet I’ve already gone through this. You got this 👍
Stop caring, talk to them like they're an elderly person. Crack jokes. And then walk away, don't even ask for their number, don't even let it cross your mind. Only if they seem really into you, if they seem like they really badly want you to ask, then ask. Otherwise just be friendly and go about your way. If you do this over a long period of time, you will get so comfortable, that when there is a girl you want to approach indefinitely ask for her number, it will feel like absolutely nothing to do it.
You got in your own head. There are many ways to get out of your head. Call someone you already know just to have a 30-second conversation. If there is another guy nearby, strike up a quick convo with him first. If there is no one else around, try to clear your mind of the task at hand and think of a joke or something that makes you laugh. Then as soon as youre done with that, approach, a simple "Hey I seen you standing here and thought you were cute so I just had to introduce myself, my name is blank, what is your name?"
You must start working On controlling negative things in your mind.Instead start thinking like " im atracttive,Talking to girls is easy lets go "
I work at an upscale grocery store as a cashier in a college town. It helped me talked to a lot of people and made friends with everyone.
7:50 best thing about old people is that you can ask them some advice
facts
They know everything
Although some of their advice may be outdated and won't apply as much to younger generations since when they were young, they didn't have the the same tech and social media or social trends that exists today
@@MonarchOfIrvineTrue, but it's still a piece of the puzzle, that can help 😅
At least when they want to talk and don't have dementia, yeah
A problem can be if you are not afraid to approach, but have nothing to say.
Am right there with you, I’ll approach you but my mind goes blank after that
@@TheWlsx3 How do you deal with that?
One thing that works pretty well for me is that u just gonna ask for some directions and when u realize she´s happy to help you out, just continue the conversation like "hey thanks - you were really helpful, btw what´s your name etc... and usually it goes somewhere .. idk I´m from germany so I´m not sure if girls around the US react the same way but from what I experienced in Miami, girls in america are pretty easy to handle xD cheers
Small talk training. Talk to your wall or with a partner. Write cards with locations, hobbies, occupations on them and try to relate to the words, adding some piece of information of your own.
Don't just ask questions. This will come off as weird.
You will get better eventually. Try to bring in some humor and enjoy yourself. If they start asking back some questions, they are generally interested.
Ask them to drink a coffee some time and get the number.
Focus on the process. If you have big anxiety, start with just giving a compliment and wish a nice day. Everyone likes compliments.
I’m about to turn 22 next month and I’m still single. But I will say, I feel I’ve definitely improved my confidence with girls over the past year. Over 2023, I had a lineup of many 21sts to attend to. I’m not the type of guy who goes out my way to approach girls minding their own business on college campuses to tell them their beautiful, so I relied on these 21sts as an opportunity to develop my confidence with girls. And honestly, it does feel like I’m different from before. I feel way more confident in my interactions with girls, know better how to make them feel good and comfortable in conversation, and have discovered a neat party trick to make girls swoon (making napkins roses) and have been complimented as “handsome” by certain girls. Last month at this girl’s 21st, I made her a napkin rose and for that she gave me a cheek kiss. In the meantime, I’ve gotten stronger at the gym, have become a god of calisthenics (with many people even telling me they want to be just like me when it comes to doing weighted pull ups and chin ups) and also I was told by a mate that genetically, I have a 1 in a million physique. 2024 is my time to further level up. It’s time I better put myself out there.
Good luck, I found my girl when I was 22. That year I tried to date someone else but it wasn't it. Then someone arrived from nowhere. Keep doing what you're doing right now!
That's awesome. Keep it up man.
King 👑
@user-dl4im 24 and no girls has been interested I should not care anymore il probably be dead soon anyway
Wow man, you are killing it. More power to you
It's easy to say "Stop being scared" when you are attractive. Girls automatically are friendly with you because you are attractive. For guys like me who aren't attractive, we're just called weirdos when we try to talk to attractive girls.
Bro you missed the point, you need to start practicing talking to different people before you start talking to hot girls, you only get good on something when you got experience on it, start by talking to ugly girls for example, you'll notice that it doesn't have that pressure of being rejected, then start talking to less ugly and so on, you'll get confidence and will be more attractive then
Меня девушки считают чудиком ни разу не увидев меня, при разговоре по телефону, по переписке.
Чтобы быть приятным человеком достаточно соблюдать гигиену и улыбаться
Idk, I was ugly and really skinny for the majority of middle school and highschool and was bullied a bit, and I also moved halfway through highschool. But I kinda grew out of it, the acne went away, braces came off, and I started to work out
Now like 3 years later I am not but ugly anymore, and I’m in shape, but I think I am scarred from that experience, and I won’t recover from it. Regained 0 confidence after gaining 30 pounds of muscle. If anything, I think it’s worse now.
I just decided it’s better to not try, and to try to not worry about it, and just focus on working
@@redthunder6183 if you're not short you have a chance. but honestly i agree with your perspective. women are simply not worth the effort. it's stupid how much is expected of us just to get a conversation lol. i want to start working out this summer even though it feels kind of pointless since i'm short and ugly but reading your comment was weirdly motivational lol
If you are somewhat charismatic unless you are a gremlin you can talk to a girl. It’s about practice and about not expecting to gain something from it. Maybe you learn a cool tip or you both laugh at a joke. You don’t always have to get a phone number or date after one conversation. Take the pressure off and just talk them like they are a new friend.
"do you like bubble tea"
"no"
"me neither, let's get hot chocolate"
best save in history
“sorry, I don’t really like hot chocolate”
😂😂@@alecplayz5552
Just reading through these comments it occurs to me, what a great community we have here. Thank you mr. J.
gotchu bro. My free skool group is awesome too :)
If you are in your 20’s, guys, just go out and play the field and do things like this. Even if you fail! You will survive and be better for it. Trust me! I’m 51 and still single. I wish I didn’t t take things so seriously earlier in life
Did you ever get laid or no?
What if you’re in your 30’s
@@JC_46 then its all over bro
@@materekpl6032 ;(
@@JC_46 Then it's even better bro.
Man, you’re great, your confidence is through the roof. What you said in this video about not talking to women because your just focused on one woman and feel like your in the spotlight is true, it’s most likely the reason I’m single now and have been for the last 15+ years, I’m afraid to shoot my shot. Thank you for this video, it really helps me out and gave me more confidence to just put myself out there.
I chose to be a checkout operator for my first job at 15 so I can get over the anxiety of socialising
smart decision brother
Even better if you look like Gollum >:P
@@FactStorm gollum is always my go-to character for self comparison LOL
I literally went to the mall today after watching my first Denmo video as it gave me so much hope and confidence that you "just need to apply it"
And the first girl was nice enough but said "I'm actually engaged", I just brushed it off saying "oh when's the wedding?" and she said they don't have a date yet, so I said congratulations and went on to talk to 2 other girls.
Mind you they were all retail workers as I literally did it for the first time EVER, but it's still a huge win.
When you realize ALL the knowledge in the world won't help until you apply it, that's when your life will change
I'm not scared of them, they're scared of me
Focus on hygiene, groom yourself well, nobody's so ugly that people are literally afraid of you, its something else.
@@Squidgaming2462im black lol
Believing what you just said would be devastating, akin to suicide. Hot chicks are NOT afraid of you or any other man. They know they're smarter, craftier and do not have the pesky conscience bothering them when they do evil. Please don't teach men that women are afraid of them, They are not and those men believing that would be sitting ducks for the first evil chicks to happen upon him. It would be safer to skydive without a parachute. That has some chance of survival.
@@Jedilord882lmao
Bro rs like no caucky shii but Ik I’m not ugly but I’m black with dreads so I think I come off looking mean 😂🤦🏿
This might be one of the single most important videos/concepts on RUclips. It's all a numbers game, you create options by trying a lot and then you get your choice... and don't take rejection personally or seriously because nobody cares. You can literally apply this idea to business, goals, and of course finding a mate. Great shit bro.
Denmo is always on the grind. I love you, bro. Even if I fail every day, I am trying and trying to meet girls and I will continue to support and watch you videos😊
That is a great attitude.
any updates?
I talked to my gym crush and she wasn’t interested then switched gyms and never saw her again 😂😭
Ooof that hurts😂
I dont understand why you guys laugh at that. That just hurts.
A good piece of mental health advice I learned from Dr. K (HealthyGamerGG) on youtube a few months back that I really try to employ always now is don't read into situations. Don't go through life telling yourself something is happening or someone is saying something behind your back just because a certain situation arises that could support your delusion. Like 2 girls laughing in a room where it's only you and them. No they are not laughing at you. In your case, she literally could have moved. She could have met a guy and goes to his gym now. She could have died. Her job could have sent her on rotation to a different city for several months. Like we could do this all day right? And those are positive guesses that are equally viable. So instead, just don't think about either at all. Don't fabricate explanations for situations where all this doomer guessing needs to take place just to conclude to yourself that you suck.
@@oblivious108no pain no gain
I think that happened to me as well lmao
I talked like this for a girl who is really really pretty for a day. And from the next day onwards she stopped coming to that place that we used to meet
That *might* (I'm assuming here) mean you lack either the confidence in speaking or body language. But you *do* have the confidence to approach. Keep that confidence to approach and just be mindful of you confident your speech sounds, and how you present yourself in terms of clothing, haircut, and posture. Also understand failures do happen, but each time you talk with a pretty girl like this and don't let it bother you, you gain more experience and comfort with the idea. You're leveling up.
Good. You can move on and forget about her faster.
4:00 Guys need to understand, the woman will always be more "beautiful" than we are because they are the gender that focuses on beauty. So stop saying a woman is out of your league because she's more beautiful than you. If you are more beautiful than your woman, you're either Tom Cruise OR she's flat out unattractive. With that said, the woman will always be more beautiful than you.
the problem is that they all want 6 ft Tom Cruise
Abundance vs Scarcity. No scarcity when it comes to girls.... good point.
The village analogy is basically how it works at high school (I live in a small town)
glad it makes sense brother
I’ve actually started to talk with strangers some time ago, now I befriended basically everyone in the gym and when the conversation starts with anyone, it just flows.
A week ago my mum asked me to translate for one of her clients (23 army girl deployed in my country). We had a really good vibe (mum said she saw her smiling all the time), gave her a ride to the train station and before I could think of getting her contact, she asked for it first. We started talking and I was genuinely interested in her so I had no problem keeping up the conversation, in a meantime I offered grabbing ramen since we both liked Japanese cuisine, she said yes but then she started throwing obstacles at me… things like curfew, she can’t leave base alone, she’s getting this exact day tattoo etc.
On the day of meeting she said that in addition to her friend, some guy friend would come (at this point I just wanted to talk, practice English and eat ramen) so I said whatever, and then some time later „btw I wanna make sure you know I have a bf so I’m not trying to flirt with you, just wanna be friends”… well I guess she hates her friends because that was her last message, and after like 4 more from me she left them on read and I got ghosted for whatever reason. I truly am confused…
rule number 1 never expect a lot, and don't invest emotionly. girls don't find that attractive
@@adamboujouf5133 Yeah, got the same conclusion, tho I don't really regret much there, well maybe the last messeges on my part because the bf text caught me off guard and I replied on impulse but that will stay with me as a reminder to never do it again this way. Overall this experience motivated me to push forward, be more extroverted towards people and keep working on myself even more.
@@adamboujouf5133 girls don’t seem to find a lot of things attractive, just unrealistic standards
Sounds like it wasn't any big fumble on your part bro. Keep trying and being intentional, you'll find someone in the first 100 you ask out I bet.
Gott get through the 99 first, so get going!
@@joshuadunham3018 Thanks for the late reply! Got an update tho…
At the begging of may I’ve downloaded Tinder, went on a first meetup a few days later, she was cool but it just didn’t click.
Then matched with a second girl that was not really looking for anything because she recently got broken with (she got attached quickly so she was heartbroken), we instantly got this old friends vibe and we were talking everyday, and the time on our meetups flew faster than we could notice. She was kinda cheering when it came to next matches (and one more meet) but I wasn’t feeling like meeting up with any more girls, and I realized that I wanted to give her a serious shot. Some time passed and as of today we’ve been together for over a month, and I know it sounds like a rushed thing but it feels kinda… natural tbh.
So yeah, you were right :)
And she likes to find cheap city break flights and so we have a trip to Rome next week which will be fun for sure!
Keep pumping out positivity into the universe man.
Every guy you inspire and empower goes and proves the manosphere wrong and that guy is another saved.
Dude, your content is really refreshing. It's not the standard PUA technical stuff that gets guys more confused than it actually helps them, but instead it's just straight out common sense, no BS advice. Guys need this sort of content, especially younger guys. Wish I had something like this 15 years ago. Keep it up!
"just be confident bro"
- objectively attractive white guy who's 6ft tall
@@eebbaa5560ridiculous. Confidence is a key and appearance not so valuable
@@planetofthegames2843Hahahahahaahaahahaha
@@StylePoints14 you escaped from Arkham Asylum again?
@@planetofthegames2843 Nah. Only escaped is the the one above. Looks don't matter. Seriously. Do looks matter too you??
I was getting ready to message a woman,
and as I was about to hit send I could feel some anxiety there,
it really was giving me second thoughts.
I haven't asked women in a long time,
those feelings of social anxiety coming back to me,
well maybe not full-blown of course
It is a mix of exciting and scary at the same time,
and the more you linger on it the bigger it gets it seems.
The message was sent though,
now I'm going to be like, "did I do the right thing?"
I'll try not to worry about it, I'll just have to wait and see.
I'm not scared of them anymore. I juat don't care. I have plans and goals and I'm focused on those. If I meet someone along the way, cool. Not stressing about this anymore.
I’ve approached over 50 women and have been rejected by all of them except one. But the one who didn’t reject me, actually ended up flaking on me the day we had scheduled to go out on a date. The problem is, where I live there’s not much places to go to meet women or people in general, you have to rely on the bar scene and that usually only works if you’re very attractive. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I’d say I’m fairly average looking and so I don’t fall into the “very attractive” category. I try to rely on my other good qualities, but often times girls do not even give me a chance to show those qualities
Average is ugly from a woman's point of view
Bro, don't lose hope. There are plenty of girls out there who would be lucky to have you. You can always try again. These girls have so many options that it's hard for them to choose us over someone else. If we as men had that many choices too, we would have done the same thing. So, put yourself out there. Talk to all the pretty girls you like and just hope for the best. I'm sure you'll find your girl if you approach the next 10 girls after reading this comment. I believe in you!
Have a relationship with Jesus. in the Bible it says being single is actually much better bc u can focus on God. He will guide you to finding the right person
@@danielleg6638biblical god sounds like a total narcissist, its all about "me me me me" for him. I would never worship any god let alone one like this...
@@danielleg6638 that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all year. We’re biologically wired and designed by ‘God’ to connect and experience intimacy. Why would you want to give up on an instinct that so ingrained in us just for some superstitious belief? If some poor chap reads your comment, takes it to heart, he’ll probably never get laid
You get nervous because when you see a girl, you want to be with, or have a relationship with, you may not see her again if you don't speak up. You don't think that way with guys. You aren't going up to guys thinking....HOW CAN I MAKE THIS DUDE MY FRIEND? HE LOOKS COOL and I'll love to hang out with him. It just happens and if not, it's fine. With girls, you may not see her again....at the store, in passing, etc. So you need to think of something really good to say, and most of us won't. I know I missed so many chances by doing nothing.
Thank you so much denmo. Felt like this vid was just for me. U r actually right. I do gotta get out of my comfort zone of women. Everything u have described in this video rlly hit a reality check on me. Yes I go to the gym everyday to work on myself n goals but I still have this social anxiety on talkin to people in general. Whenever I’m talkin to sum 1 n their is a blank of silence between the conversation, im in my head sayin “idk what to say, what should i say, etc” n thats a problem with me rn. So imma take your advice for now on and talk to at least 5 different people everyday and try to make new friends that way I can make a conversation with a women less stressful or sum like dat. Wish me luck 🙏🏽😅!!
I can easily talk to strangers, I talk to random people loads of times, though I rarely start the conversation myself, but I just CANNOT bring myself to just randomly approach women. I feel like women do not want to be approached, they don't want to talk to me which makes me WAY to scared to do it. Got any tips for me? I am exceptionally ugly also, though I do take care of myself.
In my experience, just owning that you find her attractive is helpful. It is taken as a genuine compliment
Both the compliment as well as genuine positive conversation can brighten anyone’s day
Do stuff that's uncomfortable until you're comfortable with it, put the reps in
7:48 I can confirm that this is very real, if you just shoot up short conversations with some people you will develop a lot of confidence, you will lose the pressure of starting if you consistently doing it
ive been taking your advice for a while until i was ready to go out on my own, now i can have a conversation with any girl with full confidence, i just gotta find something good to talk about
Me before:
She's the one and I have this one shot, so if I mess up...
Me now:
I have like 4 billion options
thats right. Mindset shift
You will never see or meet even 1% of those options within your lifetime …
@@Jedilord882what type of shitty mentality is that lmao
@Jedilord882 I know right. It's awesome. So many options, so little time.
You may have 4 billion options but remember, well over half of those would result in your demise, a portion would deceive and destroy you, another portion would cheat on you, another portion would chain you and keep you as a toy in their basement, another portion would be CIA agents, are you getting the point? 4 billion options = 20 to 30 girls that might not kill you but let's face it, they are a serious risk too.
on the point you're making at 10:30, i noticed even if as a guy you dont care about what surrounds you (which is hard to pull off in the beginning) its still a decisive factor for the conversation you gonna carry with your target. Because girls would care a lot avbout that. If u go upfront to a girl in a busy metro, shes most likely to reject you even if you're a 10, simply because she'll feel ankward and on the spotlight, while not wanting to show she's an easy girl sharing her number out like this. So even if in general case you have to act regardless of the people around, still go for situation which are socially calibrated and not pressured one for girls
Thank you for your content, I am going to apply it in my life, greetings from Ecuador
you're a great guy, man, you give me courage to talk to my crush! thanks a lot
Main issues for me i wouldn't say confidence or what not, maybe a little shy, but yes, confidence does need improving ofc. But around some people i tend to stutter/freeze some words which makes me overthink what to say, which i guess leads into freezing on words again, which leads me to just not try and talk to people. Not really sure the cause of it though :/
I like how you just come and say aWhAiuE. And she still stays with you.
True bro, tho it’s simply hormones, tho also ptsd cos the worst she can say is NOT “no”, it’s calling u a “predator”, making false allegations against u, etc so…. 😓💙
... that would only happen if you refused to accept that she is rejecting you... talking to people in public is perfectly safe and legal
@@doorey2 Yes, tho no, I’ve had it despite that so
Yep this right here. As long as you're not being creepy or making her feel uncomfortable or she rejecting you and you don't take it very well. But if you approach her like a normal person and just say hi to her and see if you two vibe well to go out on a date or meetup later on during the week, then it's ok. It's ok to talk to girls in public. It's ok to approach women in public as long as you're doing it the right way. @@doorey2
The "bye I love you" at the end earned you a subscription. That was gold. 😂
This is GOLD. Even though I'm already out of that phase of being scared of everything (took that trip on my own and figured out how not to give a f**k about little things). But if I still was that would definitely help me for sure. If I'd be doing this kind of videos that would be exactly what I'd be saying. Gladly there's so many likes and it deserves even more.
Pretty girls dont scare me, being rejected over and over just let me scarred and i dont want to have that feeling anymore
Hey Denmo idk if you’re gonna see this, but I’v been struggling with social anxiety for most of my life at 28 years old, and being afraid and uncomfortable around women was my default. I still struggle with this, but I complimented this girl at the gym, and man it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I got a long way to go, but thank you for these videos man, I won’t be bitter.
This video saved me from giving up thanks denmo 😢
do it for guys like you cheers brother
i saved the video cuz i think it's very helpful!! Thank you so much for all the informations you shared to us. I'm in Australia right now and i'm trying to getting out of my comfort zone and make new friends, especially girls. I reckon i have to work a lot on my energy during the conversion, because i getting scared and i arrive at the final point in my mind. I should enjoy the moment. There is this girl in the gym that makes me crazy, i should talk to her
Not endorsing anything but after some funny candy, a rave suddenly turns into a meetup with 2000 best friends you've never met, i left with 38 new contact info's, going on a date this sunday with one of the girls i vibed with
absolute weapon, proud of ya
😂
Fbi open up
*It’s easy to forget that looks are just one part of who a person is. Once you start seeing pretty girls as regular people with their own insecurities, it becomes so much easier to talk to them.*
Pretty girls make me lose confidence because I know so many other more attractive guys than me have already talked to them with their game, and I have none, so thats what scares me about them. The pretty women have more options/men to choose from, so why even bother trying if you aren't in the top 10% that they want to begin with?
you have no idea who's ever spoken to her. its only an assumption. compatibility is way more important than looks or game
Yeah, exactly what magickarp said, also do you even know if pretty girls see themselves as pretty, many have the same confidence issues like guys do.😅
If she's single than those men probably weren't what she was looking for. You never know when you'll find your match, but you can be fairly certain you won't if you don't try. My man is quiet and reserved. I actually had to work a bit for him. Not every girl wants a super outgoing/confident man with these huge ambitions. Some of us just want a man that will love us for who we are and be there through thick and thin. I hope you find yours!
If she's hot and still single there's a reason she's crazy run!
@@MaidenMacabre Consider me a need-someone-to-work-a-bit-for-me guy then lol I've seen situations like yours on here and irl with a friend and honestly I'm so envious of those guys. Where a girl in their advantageous position of power to make something happen or not happen actually sort of drive things forward. It is exhausting to fake not being a quieter shyer guy when it is exactly who I am (mainly to new people). I open up after the fact, but it's too late at that point if I'm to never see someone again or someone I do see regularly writes me off because I'm closed off until later on
Great video. I have made some progress I talked to a very beautiful girl today. She seemed nervous also when we were talking. But she asked what my name was after i asked her for hers. But she said she was going back to California tomorrow and only visiting. I didn't get her number but if she didn't keep kind of walking away after every sentence I would have. But her friend walked over so I lost the moment of one on one. But this can be considered my beginning of talking to at least one girl a day.
That's definetly some progress
Omg, i too put women on a pedestal, than i realized they are as human as me, also they can't do nothing against being pretty, hell many of them don't even feel pretty in their eyes. Once you get that, it's becomes easier. 😅
I recently had 2 instances were absolut gorgeous girls stared at me for 5 seconds, and just thought "wtf, this never happened to me, what's going on"
So, I'm currently gathering my courage the next time something like that happens to just shoot my shot,(ofc after checking if the stare wasn't related to something in my face or such thing), approach her, and say some most basic upfront sentence like "hey i noticed your gaze and thought you're pretty cute, so i thought maybe you want to get to know each other" i mean what i got to lose, right. If she says no, i wish her a nice day and go about my day. Aand i probably won't feel down, because i at least shot my shot.
People are so afraid of rejection, but if you don't try, you're rejecting basically yourself and that says a lot about your self worth. And would you like to be together with someone who doesn't see worth in themselves??? 🤔 Sometimes you just gotta reverse the roles, yk.
Update: So erm, i realized I'm simply not made for a relationship, i wanted someone to fill the loneliness, smone to wake up next to and cuddle in the morning, someone i can care for and pamper if she is sick, sm1 that likes me for who i am.
Tho, recently a woman in the bus had to shove herself past me and our faces almost touched, could feel her breath and what can i say, it was rather scary, i kinda had really tiny panik attack, i seem to have developed a fear of being touched by women, due to not been for 16 years, soo yeah, that was it for me and dating and relationships, i simply have to get happy by being maybe admired by women from afar for my physique and die alone.
But nonetheless, i wish you guys luck. 👍
I came here because of the psyched substance shambalah video and ended up finding support content for men who are scared of women.
I don't think guys are afraid of pretty girls, they are reluctant to approach when pretty girls have attitudes or from my experience they are insecure and don't know how to interact with guys. It's the secure pretty girls who are easy to approach.
The problem is, most of the pretty girls are already taken/dating
I never really approached any stranger to start a conversation, but here's a random mental trick i use when i get into an awkward situation around a girl: i just tell myself "she is not my girlfriend, she will never be and this is the last time i'll see her in my life" and i instantly forget about the situation. You can use it if you get in a situation like that to avoid feeling awkward.
Your best video so far Jack! Thank you.
2:22 downside is, their jealous boyfriend (which i can not know if she has) comes immediately to guard them and i stuck like "i just said hi" and they thinks i bother the girl some reason. that's why i stopped approaching girls even doesn't enter their areas, or not looking them. if there is a girl i intentionally look somewhere else all the time to not bother them and to not hassle th their potential boy friends.
What do I do if I'm scared of humans in general?
it's 7pm here in uk. I am currently the most scared I've ever been to cold approach women. Tomorrow I will go and approach a girl. I am putting this comment on this video to hold me accountable and that way it forces me to change.
What happened bro, write what happened later 😂
so ?
She killed him 💀
Katarina 💀
She ditched cj
Very good video my man! I want to add a tid bit. If you have a lot of hobbies especially cool hobbies like outdoor sports, hunting, fishing, skiing, boating, camping, playing sports, building things or working on your own vehicle. It puts u in a confident mindset because you can tell yourself I do all of this and I'm not a dork. So on top of everything he told you get some cool hobbies because then u have the mind set that the girl is fortunate to be with u based on your life style. Independence is sexy to women just my 2 cents. But awesome video!
Dude thank you. This video put things into perspective for me. I’m gonna start talking to more girls.
There is no need to be afraid of beautiful girls, because the maximum result you will have is getting a chance to talk to them for a few minutes. On very special occasions, you will get a little closer to their friend zone. The average girls (usually with heavy makeup and self-esteem in the clouds) will not even talk, they will be just rude.
I'm not scared of a rejection. Im afraid of pain when she leaves
Never had problems with talking to girls until after a traumatic pretty long-term relationship that made me depressed and sit inside a lot, lost the feeling totally, but i'm improving and getting there again. Shame my 20's have passed in the meantime haha
0:37 the no laugh and serious response here is precisely not it 😂
Actually, a cold approach does attract attention in crowded places. I've seen a couple myself and it drew my attention.
Prettiness makes the heart quiver.
your comment makes my fulcrum quiver
Yeah, the problme is that i aI can't talk to anyone..
I have nothing to say and I end up forcing conversation and it makes me unbearable to talk to.
But Charging 120$ to learn how to talk is crazy 😭.
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
This is one of the biggest things guys struggle with, and arguably the number one.
The value and knowledge this man is sharing as well worth tens of thousands.
Then cry than this in your saddest life
That last part about wasting time is how I got to start APPLYING the knowledge.
I was like "I'm gonna take 1 tour around the mall after work every day for about 20 minutes and open a conversation with just 1 girl"
That will take away my time from gaming (which I love) but I look at it like "well after 20 minutes I can still come back home and game"
But I'll also have the accomplishment of having talked to at least 1 girl a day.
How it's it going bro?
1:36 Best reenactment in youtube history
I accepted this challenge of always talking to someone when the opportunity arises and this week I went to buy, I think, a sheet and the girl at the checkout was kind of cute and I was thinking about what to say when I saw her hello kitty tattoo and commented. She surprisingly got excited and explained that she was a dark style hello kitty with a devil's tail. She instantly blushed and I stopped, not knowing what to say.
But anyway, I know where she works and the next time we see each other I'll have an opportunity to talk to her again.
Different if they look at you with daggers or are rude/reject you lol
When that happens like 20 times people just give up trying
I'm not scared I just don't feel like approaching them
😂😂😂
Sounds like ur scared
Im not hungry I just dont have food
After years of being too scared I finally started working on myself, went to therapy, started becoming more social, and now I can talk with pretty much anyone. Sadly now I'm too old for cute girls, so I guess I'll still die alone, or maybe I'll settle when I'm desperate enough.
I met my wife because no one was talking to her and I walked up all chill, listening to music, struck up a conversation, and asked if she wanted to listen to my music with me. Passed her the earbud and tested her knowledge of Led Zeppelin, turned out she was a savant. Got coffee, then went on dates, the rest is history. DO NOT be the guy that has something to say and doesn't say it because you're putting her on a pedestal.
Wdyn
10:35 no, but I classify people and if there's some guy with a girlfriend I notice. And I've never seen somebody cold approach somebody else in public in real life.
7:37 did 1/5 today and it was so awkward. But still way better than 0.
When the person is right on the inside, then their world will be too.
When you're not right on the inside, you will find fault with everything around you.
This video couldn't have come at a better time. I have an event later tonight to go to and will try to keep these tips in mind
my man, I gotchu, let us know how they go
How it go, Did you make it suzu?
I've not approached a woman in over 17 years. It's not that I'm afraid to approach women, it just pisses me off that men are expected to do all the approaching and go through all the rejection. It's the unfairness that stops me approaching women.
I like this girl right now and have had many opportunities to ask her our or say what I think about her and sometimes I'll even set a date aside saying that would be the day I tell her, but I haven't yet, and now I'm scared my brain won't allow me before another guy does it first. I absolutely hate the fact that I get angry or frustrated when people say things like the title of this very video, stuff like, just do it, you'll survive, and stuff like that, but even when I tell myself these things right before getting ready to talk to an attractive girl or my "crush" my brain shuts down. I wish there was other advice than just go to the gym and just do it, but I don't think there is, which is why celibacy seems to be the path I'm taking. Edit: if you know any other advice or would just like to say something in the replies, go ahead, constructive criticism is 'good' though in my experiences it pisses me off lol. don't worry I'll try not to get mad at what y'all say, I'm trying to ask her before it's too late and then I regret not doing anything about it. -Thanks.
Me: hey, what’s your name?
Random girl: I have a boyfriend.
Me: oh, ok.
Walks away.
That’s my social interaction for the day with the opposite sex.
Hey I have a boyfriend I'm dad
It's not that I'm "too scared" to talk to women, when I am in situations where I am forced to interact with others including "attractive" women then I can do it just fine & even well as many even "attractive" women have told me I'm "very attractive" myself & sociable. What it is for me is more of a case of not wanting to talk to any woman just because I find her attractive, that's superficial not to mention rude, you wouldn't go up to a black person to yell racial slurs at them simply because you hate them for being black, that's not only stupid but also evil since you're judging them for their appearance rather than their character without even considering how that could lead to you getting in legal trouble potentially. The same thing applies to "attractive" women. I care about a woman's character far more than her looks, what good is she if she's "attractive" but is rude & not a virgin? Not to mention very few men actually go up in public to talk to women & the ones who do, studies show, are actually more likely to be psychopaths hence the creepy guy stereotype as those are the only men who go up to women they don't know in public & talk to them.
As a shy guy,
Yeah I don't talk to girls that much.
Wait a minute, I don't talk to guys that much either 😂
i dont have nothing to say cause i haven't had a friend in some years so its hard to keep a convo. i have social anxiety but i been tryna fix it. eye contact so bad idk what happened
Question, What does one do if they only stand 5'2"?
Stop chasing women IRL and just hold out for AI/Robots to get better
@@bro918 saddest response ever 😂
@dsweet5859 bro it's not even funny I'm an inch taller than him and that's simply our reality
@@bro918 I get it. The fact that our bodies and brains are entirely dictated by our genetics and the fact that we don’t even get to choose is messed up. I’m sorry, wasn’t trying to be a dick
Bro is 6foot3
I love how you added the always sunny music 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Men aren't actually scared of pretty girls. We just already know the outcome. We know that unless we're the 6'2" hot millionaire, there's a chance she's yelling for security to come rescue her from the creep who is about to attack her.
Most women when you approach them are just fine, really the more nervous you are, the more uncomfortable they are, if you're relaxed then they will be relaxed. You really have to trick your brain into not worrying about it. Also don't think that you have to approach every attractive woman, cut yourself a little slack. You have to relax, and that's not possible if every attractive girl you see you beat yourself up really badly because you didn't ask her out. Here's another thing, not every woman is worth it. Think about it like a job interview, the best way to get a job, is to turn the interview around, and start interviewing the boss. Once you flip the tables around, then the girl is begging for you to ask for her number.
That kind of blackpill thinking will be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you keep believing it. You *will* either never find someone or else you will settle for someone you aren't really into (or if you are into her you'll forever have a toxic insecurity as you worry she'll go for someone "better").
Those girls looking for a millionare/6'2"+ and not accepting anything less are the ones you see online because they get more views. The typical woman doesn't actually have that delusion, and furthermore most people, men and women alike, might say they have a requirement only to realize after meeting someone and enjoying talking to them that the "requirement" wasn't quite as important as they thought, just a preference.
But you're going to have to do the scary thing and accept getting rejected 5, 10, or 100 times (and be willing to potentially let go of some of the girls who do say "yes" if you realize they aren't actually a great match).
For the record, I think you have it in you to do that, if you make up your mind to.
To future wife: "Yeah so I started watching this guy Denmo" LOL dkm - great video man, needed to hear this!
Great insight Denmo👍
gotchu bro. You have been subscribed for over a year, have you made progress?
On and off getting there
problem is for example me i dont have much things to talk or i find hard to tease! that make problem for me not just confidence i am this even to men/boys!!
Dude! You are spot on!
The reason why it’s easy to forget that other people don’t care about our mistakes is because we live inside of our own bodies so half time we as individual people are all we think about and others are what we think about sometimes but we forget that other people are the same way therefore we, individual people, the less than 1% fraction of all the spotlight of others, are not the spotlight of their attention
Stop Being Scared Of Pretty Girls. ( if you are a pretty boy )
This was what I needed thanks