How to LOVE YOURSELF: three steps to overcoming self-hatred

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  • Опубликовано: 6 июн 2024
  • Learning to love yourself is extremely important, because where you go, there you are. If your self is cruel and self-loathing, you can exist in the midst of peace and pleasure without benefitting in the slightest. In today's episode, I will give you three simple steps to overcome self-hatred and move in the direction of self-love. They do not require expensive therapy sessions, and you can put them into practice today.
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    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #psychology #selfcare #selfimprovement

Комментарии • 704

  • @psychacks
    @psychacks  Год назад +140

    Learning to love yourself is extremely important, because where you go, there you are. If your self is cruel and self-loathing, you can exist in the midst of peace and pleasure without benefitting in the slightest. In today's episode, I will give you three simple steps to overcome self-hatred and move in the direction of self-love. They do not require expensive therapy sessions, and you can put them into practice today.
    Social Media
    Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
    Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
    Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
    Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
    Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
    GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
    Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
    ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin
    Book a paid consultation:
    oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
    Sponsor an episode:
    oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
    Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #psychology #selfcare #selfimprovement

    • @zensvlognotapro
      @zensvlognotapro Год назад +3

      In addition to love ourselves also is not allowing hate, unforgiveness, and other negative feelings to dwell inside of us because it will cause sufferings.

    • @anneboyer6359
      @anneboyer6359 Год назад

      @Ercan Kayisci stop taking whatever you're smoking. Cease it for a few weeks at least.

    • @stevet9652
      @stevet9652 8 месяцев назад +1

      Maybe read the book "The power of NOW". Read it before you talk and teach people

    • @DriIceman
      @DriIceman 7 месяцев назад

      The third step may trigger people-pleasing and focusing on expectations or SHOULDing yourself... which could contribute to worsening self worth and feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness and despair? Add a dash of radical self-acceptance and compassion or something to make it more loving

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 7 месяцев назад +1

      your suggestions do not work.

  • @edwardthach1849
    @edwardthach1849 11 месяцев назад +1068

    I started by being mean to the cruel inner voice. Essentially standing up to the bully inside

    • @csgaiao33
      @csgaiao33 11 месяцев назад +60

      Thats actually helpfull. Thank you

    • @ojaswapathak8569
      @ojaswapathak8569 11 месяцев назад +19

      That's great

    • @Isa_695
      @Isa_695 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@firestick4991 😂😂

    • @Maximus_W
      @Maximus_W 11 месяцев назад +14

      David Goggins is big on that

    • @jlove8445
      @jlove8445 10 месяцев назад +5

      mon, me told myself to go fly a kite a few times,
      not in public anymore, people look away and pass me straight.

  • @Darzkin_
    @Darzkin_ 7 месяцев назад +463

    Steps to self-love:
    1. Stop speaking to yourself negatively.
    2. Speak positive to yourself as a good friend, coach or parent.
    3. Be the person, you can love.

    • @rahmasamir909
      @rahmasamir909 3 месяца назад

      No its worng way to process thats why many people continue to do what u Say and they never change they send u wrong message .

    • @SilentWarden93
      @SilentWarden93 Месяц назад +4

      Sometimes that’s easier said than done

    • @Lhanie
      @Lhanie 12 дней назад

      The negativity feels so familiar you have a hard time rewiring your brain but don't give up!! the light out there shines brightly for each of you here, I am in this battle too ❤️❤️

  • @VanishLikeaDream
    @VanishLikeaDream 3 месяца назад +27

    I’m 24. I stopped talking bad about myself for the first time in my life about 2 months ago. I stopped putting myself down, and started lifting myself up. (Like a cheerful friend would) I stopped insulting myself and started giving myself small compliments. This ultimately changed how I interact with others. I have never been so annoyed at someone else’s disrespect toward me only after I started to actually respect myself. When someone Ik calls me a name or makes a bad joke, I actually challenge them amen correct them. I keep it classy and simple. I spent over 20 years calling myself names, and I finally stopped. Now why would I let you do it.

    • @Orochi327
      @Orochi327 Месяц назад

      This is a really great comment. Thanks for sharing. When someone disrespects you, it actually has more to do with them than it does with you. If someone disrespects you, it means they are projecting the disrespect they have for themselves onto you. So whenever someone calls you a name or says something mean, don’t take it personally. They’re just projecting their discomfort and self-hatred onto you.

  • @lotusmelody8579
    @lotusmelody8579 10 месяцев назад +460

    To the person reading this, Good Luck! Don't stress, everything will be fine. No matter what difficulty you are facing right now, you can overcome it! You are strong and brave.

  • @mareehutchin2702
    @mareehutchin2702 10 месяцев назад +194

    The thing that has helped me the most is saying ‘I’m doing the best I can right now’ instead of berating myself for every single mistake and flaw. I also ask myself what would I say to my best friend if she made this mistake or was in the same situation?

    • @Dorito_Sensei
      @Dorito_Sensei 3 месяца назад

      I often try to tell myself that. But right after that thought, there's another one saying that my best right now isn't good enough for the situation I'm in. What then?

    • @gamexstreams1731
      @gamexstreams1731 3 месяца назад

      You wanna know something interesting ? The critical voice inside is not really a part of you but rather a foreign virus installed by, you guessed it, society, bullies, assholes who think they know anything about You.
      Simple Concept - This 'Critic' lies in everyone but it didn't manifest on its own - it was a seed sown by outside entities, nurtured and grown into a fucking behemoth over decades.
      And no wonder people are messed up, insecure and depressed as fuck.

  • @Intensive_Porpoises
    @Intensive_Porpoises 8 месяцев назад +77

    I used to worry about being a narcissist so I erred on the side of self criticism and being hard on myself. That was one hell of a mistake!

    • @user-nj6tn8pv3g
      @user-nj6tn8pv3g 3 месяца назад +4

      I feel like I did the same thing. I had an ex who told me I was a narcissistic person. I dialed it so far back I hurt myself bad.

    • @user-nj6tn8pv3g
      @user-nj6tn8pv3g 3 месяца назад

      How are you now?

    • @Intensive_Porpoises
      @Intensive_Porpoises 3 месяца назад +1

      @@user-nj6tn8pv3g I think I've damaged my self perception, but I try to notice when I'm being self critical and make an effort to stop. It's a long road

    • @TheNoboful
      @TheNoboful 2 месяца назад

      @@user-nj6tn8pv3g Was your ex the narcissist one?

    • @cliffordincalifornia
      @cliffordincalifornia 2 месяца назад

      Same and im 56

  • @AspieGamer1986
    @AspieGamer1986 11 месяцев назад +127

    My mom never learned to love herself when I was growing up. She carried the wounds of childhood trauma due to grandma beating the shit outta her and her siblings before they were 4 years of age.
    I myself went through childhood trauma and plenty of verbal abuse. I'm 36 and wondering where my life is going. I sometimes struggle with the intrusive thoughts of suicide. It's gradually gotten worse in some ways, and I feel like I have almost no one to turn to.

    • @briansalazar7397
      @briansalazar7397 10 месяцев назад +12

      I can relate. I’m 55 and I know that Jesus Christ has saved me countless times and the sooner you find some real time to seek him and ask. He wants to totally transform our lives inside and out. I’ve survived some hard horrific experiences and through a church that got me involved and continue to show love and care for my well being. I am the happiest and more confident than I ever was in my girl chasing party days with endless failures. Thank God! I’ll pray you may be receptive to hearing Gods call. Much love

    • @MJ-qb5ph
      @MJ-qb5ph 10 месяцев назад +9

      Agree. Find a higher power - it will help break the inter generational family trauma

    • @Ivan-0000
      @Ivan-0000 10 месяцев назад +1

      We got this ❤

    • @stygiantwst
      @stygiantwst 9 месяцев назад +3

      I can relate. I wish for you to find relief and peace

    • @Anwelei
      @Anwelei 8 месяцев назад +14

      Im so sorry you are struggling so badly. I could have written your second paragraph most of my life!!
      I used to struggle with thoughts of suicide and was in and out of therapy for 20 years. I even ended up in an outpatient mental hospital at the age of 40. Thank God that first therapist i saw there-- she actually taught me basic life skills my parents could not because of their own issues-- a lot of it was basic care like brushing my teeth (because i'm loveable and worth it), and eating to nourish my body (because i'm loveable and worth it and all good things are available to me), and exercise (because i am precious and my body craves movement), I am worth resting and not being addicted to work (Because i'm a real person who needs rest, and God is here for me). I have grown a great deal since then, but believe me I work very hard to do so, but it's WORTH IT. I am worth the effort, and so are you!
      I also learned that thoughts of suicide are often signs we are in deep, deep distress but don't know how to deal with it, and your mind is trying to get your attention. That knowledge helped me a lot; i hope it helps you too.
      When i read your comment, i just realized i haven't had a suicidal thought in about a year or more. I'm 42 now and am now enjoying life, probably for the first time ever.
      Know that you are a precious person, and you are loveable, you matter, and you can grow and learn to love and take care of yourself! and you absolutely can enjoy life, even when it isn't perfect or far from it. (my life is far from what i needs to be but I'm okay now.)
      And PS I reconciled with God too, though i'm still working on trusting the Universe. i definitely don't hold my feelings back. I've been a Christian for decades but now I believe in Universal Reconciliation (Not universal salvation). It helped me trust God and that helps a whole heck of lot in general. Doesn't take the work out of life, but it makes life doable!
      All the best to you. No matter what your mind tells you, remember you are LOVEABLE just as you are, and you are so so precious, and all good things are available to you. Keep telling yourself these truths and more truth will come to you.

  • @amandaforrester7636
    @amandaforrester7636 7 месяцев назад +22

    I have a picture of myself and my brother as children cheezin it up on my makeup desk. I remind myself that only a disordered person would talk to those small children the way our parents talked to us. That's how our inner voices came to be. So now I look at the picture of us as children to remind myself how to speak to myself.

  • @OnderHassan
    @OnderHassan 11 месяцев назад +300

    As a fresh 39 year old. I can tell you with complete confidence that this gets a lot easier as you mature. Try not to stress about it and let time do its magic.

    • @JanW51
      @JanW51 10 месяцев назад +20

      Maybe, but its better go start today when you have problems with loving yourself. Than you will have better results sooner

    • @Gemmarose9012
      @Gemmarose9012 10 месяцев назад +43

      I’m 47 and can tell you it takes more than time.

    • @manfrombritain6816
      @manfrombritain6816 10 месяцев назад +27

      33 here and it's getting worse for me. when i was young and ignorant i was much happier. when i hadn't had much dating experience i was much happier. when i didn't know anything about self improvement, attachment theory, philosophy, psychology etc etc i was doing so much better.
      now all i can do is question everything, doubt myself, see red flags and disorders in people, see flaws in myself that i feel like i can't overcome.
      for me, defining and labelling everything has been a disaster

    • @OnderHassan
      @OnderHassan 10 месяцев назад +8

      @@manfrombritain6816 You just need to let all of that crap go. In the end, all that matters is what you can control with yourself and forget about controlling others and things outside of you.
      Everyone has their own path to walk and decisions to make. You can’t control that.

    • @josepheridu3322
      @josepheridu3322 10 месяцев назад +2

      Yeah, when there is no more reason to live, no more chances of love and hard to make friends...
      THEN life becomes easier to live, when you don't need it as much anymore.
      wonderful.

  • @davydsol8471
    @davydsol8471 9 месяцев назад +43

    The inroad to LOVING myself started with realizing things I LIKED about myself... And that I wasn't such a bad guy after all

  • @Mr._Anderpson
    @Mr._Anderpson 11 месяцев назад +85

    I thought being extremely critical or harsh to myself was normal. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that someone showed me that the way I talk to and about myself isn't typical or healthy.
    This person sat me down & had me begin to list the positive traits I possess and the accomplishments in my life. I had to walk away because I started to become very emotional.
    Even though I know this fellow is right, it is a very difficult change to make.

    • @isaac3den
      @isaac3den 10 месяцев назад +4

      I think the difficulty for me comes with the fact that even though objectively I've tried to write down my positive traits and be grateful, people still don't seem to appreciate me for who I am and it makes it hard to feel comfortable in society when you feel like you're being disrespected constantly.

    • @Mr._Anderpson
      @Mr._Anderpson 10 месяцев назад

      @@isaac3den If you haven't done so, I recommend reading Marcus Aurelius' 'Meditations'.
      He wrote that a person who is driven by ambition pins their sanity on the words & approval of others, while a person who is self-indulgent pins their sanity on what happens to them.
      I don't know you, but the best possible advice I could give is to become someone who doesn't need respect. These people don't know or appreciate you. How much is their respect worth? Free yourself.

    • @stclair2012
      @stclair2012 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@isaac3denyou must embrace confrontation. When people cast shade and disrespect you, stand up for yourself. Always. If it’s a lose-lose situation, then you take your bat and your ball and go home.

    • @jilyyyyy.
      @jilyyyyy. 8 месяцев назад

      Good things take time :))

  • @carolbenavidez2228
    @carolbenavidez2228 3 месяца назад +22

    Just found you! I am a much older woman who has tried all my life to overcome self hatred with no success. This is the clearest message I've ever heard on how to change. Will start these steps today. Thank you! 💖

    • @user-qh6ii7qt6m
      @user-qh6ii7qt6m 3 месяца назад +2

      Wish you all the best! It's a gratifying and cathartic journey

  • @counterfeit4450
    @counterfeit4450 10 месяцев назад +48

    I feel as though I can’t control my thoughts sometimes.
    It feels like when something small happens, like a rejection, someone says something that hurts my feelings, or I don’t hit a goal I wanted to hit, I begin to spiral.
    My brain starts to bring up all these things that are wrong with me, remind me how little support I have, and bring up memories I despise.

    • @JonathanGilmer
      @JonathanGilmer 10 месяцев назад +7

      This is the exact same for me. People tell me to change the way I think. But what if I can't even control my thoughts?

    • @counterfeit4450
      @counterfeit4450 9 месяцев назад

      @@JonathanGilmer a lot has actually happened to me in 8 days. Maybe this can help you too.
      I decided to take on a challenge called 75hard which is a mental toughness challenge. Today is quite literally day 9 for me of 75, working out twice a day, drinking a gallon of water, reading 10 pages of non fiction, dieting and taking a progress picture once per day.
      I honestly feel way more in control of my mind. The purpose of the challenge is to give you back confidence, to give you control over your life and to build discipline and mental toughness
      You should definitely look into it. I think being more disciplined and physically active really helps with this stuff

    • @davydsol8471
      @davydsol8471 9 месяцев назад +6

      Yogi's learn to control their thoughts ALL the time - AND YOU CAN DO THAT TOO. It is a practice to change your focus in the moment. Changing the direction of our thought like we would change the direction of our walk. Takes practice though

    • @Kalinious
      @Kalinious 8 месяцев назад +4

      There's alot going on to begin with. Thoughts, feelings, memories of the past, imaginings of the future, horribly negative core beliefs are very difficult to see without shadow work. Outside you there's nothing you can control, so you might want to let go of that impossible idea. I was a perfectionist for 37 years. Perfection only applies to your Spirit, not anything that is down here, especially whatever your judging. That's another good point, one way to stop judging yourself and expecting so much is to stop judging anyone else. One equals the other. GodSpeed! :)

    • @counterfeit4450
      @counterfeit4450 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@Kalinious I appreciate this comment.
      Find myself being especially hard on myself lately and it’s leading to lonely and scary thoughts.
      Something I haven’t consciously been trying to do is improve the way I treat others. Being more mature, being less emotionally charged and being more patient and kind.
      Can’t seem to figure out loving myself but at least I can treat others better

  • @bhec7715
    @bhec7715 2 месяца назад +5

    I’m here because I’m amazed by all the people around me doing bad things, hurting people, steamrolling people, and just not caring. They just keep moving forward. They’re successful, they have friends, and they seem happy.
    Meanwhile I’m beating myself up over everything.

  • @PatriseHenkel
    @PatriseHenkel 5 дней назад +1

    “Self-violence” never heard this term- useful. I’ve been working on this for years, have finally got traction. It’s shocking how much of my life I lived under that darkness.

  • @xKenB24x
    @xKenB24x 2 месяца назад +5

    I almost break to tears when I realized how I treat myself all the times I make a mistake.

  • @LowCostVideo
    @LowCostVideo Год назад +106

    I'm experiencing some mental breakthroughs from your videos today. My wounded self thanks you for showing me a path to recovery.

  • @Lhanie
    @Lhanie 12 дней назад +1

    I am a teenager who has low-self esteem, It stemmed from my childhood experiences. The lack of love made me feel negativity was normal and to my surprise it isn't. I wish to overcome this and give myself the love I deserve instead of hate

  • @michaelkay8914
    @michaelkay8914 8 месяцев назад +21

    I unfortunately deal with severe self loathing & depression. I dealt with this ever since i was a lil kid. I'm 53yrs old & by God's grace I'm doing OK & not self destructive/self sabotaging but i do have to fight against demonic thoughts. It's never about anyone else, I've always directed ir inward. I'm gonna watch this video & take the suggestions because things have & if i ain't careful things can get real dark. 🌵🕯☦️🕯🌵

    • @gamexstreams1731
      @gamexstreams1731 3 месяца назад

      You will be fine, mate. No need to fret. The world has only one job - To make us hate ourselves and Our job is to not let it.

  • @DraconiInfernalus
    @DraconiInfernalus 10 месяцев назад +11

    My mean inner voice come from my mother. I was never enough, i never did things in the way she wants. Thats why i bully myself when i make mistakes or doing nothing special in my free time. Even if i know i only learn from making mistakes. I try not to be harsh to myself but its also an automatic process. And i have to remind myself that i am not dumb or lazy or anything. With c-ptsd its so hard to be kind to myself. People say...just love yourself...but how if you never learned or experienced it? Not easy way

  • @10onpump5
    @10onpump5 7 месяцев назад +9

    I am SO mean to myself. It’s also impossible for me to celebrate my victories too - I always feel guilty, like I’m gloating or bragging. Even in my own head lol.

  • @daniellefarrow7956
    @daniellefarrow7956 Месяц назад +2

    I’m so much harsher to myself & those I love than I would ever be to a stranger.

  • @reiniermuntjewerff874
    @reiniermuntjewerff874 9 месяцев назад +8

    say: I am developing myself every day. I am growing by every step I take. I accept myself at the point of growth where I am now. I keep on growing because I do effort for this, fotr myself. I love myself for who I am now and I will love myself not more when I reached a specific point. My love for myself is always THE SAME. A new day... let's GO!

  • @Illuminatewithlove
    @Illuminatewithlove 3 месяца назад +6

    Healing won't be easy, yet it's SOOOO Possible ❤thank you

  • @anshanshtiwari8898
    @anshanshtiwari8898 11 месяцев назад +200

    1:56 Three actionable things
    2:26 Make a commitment not to speak to yourself in way that you wouldn't speak to a close friend.
    4:55 Begin to talk positively to yourself like a supportive coach/a good friend/a loving parent.
    7:36 Act in a way that you'd find easier to love in someone else.

  • @noremac4807
    @noremac4807 10 месяцев назад +13

    Working through significant loss, trauma and grief. The self blame never stops. The critical voice is never quiet, sometimes only brief moments of peace, but then the regret and self hate sets in, and the depression goes deeper. Self love is foreign and impossible for me

    • @pyootchnich
      @pyootchnich 10 месяцев назад +2

      Me too. It happened a year and a half ago. Never thought I would get out. It does get better. By the way, never say “impossible”. Maybe “challenging” or “difficult”. Also, what helped me was learning the teachings of the Stoic philosophers. 😊

    • @user-ek9vo2ub9b
      @user-ek9vo2ub9b 8 месяцев назад +1

      Feels difficult for me - everyone I knew growing up always routinely taught me my inferiority.

  • @sideman7117
    @sideman7117 Год назад +66

    This is EXACTLY how it works. I stumbled on this process to eliminate stage fright playing guitar. I didn’t realize that it would literally change the way I engage myself in EVERY other area. Bravo!

  • @natasiruet8739
    @natasiruet8739 3 месяца назад +6

    Esto me hizo llorar, yo pensaba que tenía que ser duro conmigo mismo para poder llegar a una etapa en mi vida donde pueda decirme a mi mismo "Estoy felíz", pero al escuchar tus palabras, me hizo dudar en lo que he estado haciendo todo este tiempo, ya que estaba haciendo lo que dijiste en el video, hacer mis problemas peor de lo que son, y mis cosas positivas no tan buenas.
    Ahora tengo un punto de vista diferente, uno que va a cambiar mi vida si lo pongo en práctica, gracias.

  • @MrRocksW
    @MrRocksW 9 месяцев назад +3

    I filmed myself on my webcam reading something aloud and watched it back. From a detached view I realized I am so mean to that guy I saw in the webcam. I

  • @xuzheng1642
    @xuzheng1642 10 месяцев назад +6

    8:35 supportive, even tempered, reliable, trustworthy, easy going, appreciative etc. Develop these qualities in yourself.

  • @piotrr5439
    @piotrr5439 2 месяца назад +2

    I almost died some time ago. And this made me rearrange my world.

  • @armyoftwo13
    @armyoftwo13 5 месяцев назад +3

    I wish someone taught me this earlier. It’s so hard, because growing up, my parents would say a lot of mean things to me. Doubted myself a lot. Now I flunk out of college. But I’m not giving up. Thank you for all these tips and tricks.

  • @brainlapses
    @brainlapses Месяц назад +1

    god this guy has such a great insight on things, I’m seriously so impressed

  • @NightDocs
    @NightDocs 4 месяца назад +2

    I really appreciate this video. I’m trying really hard to love myself again but it’s hard. All my life I’ve conflated self love with selfishness, vanity, and narcissism and I’m always very afraid of my selfish tendencies getting the better of me and hurting others. So the idea of loving myself is a challenge because it’s also a conflict with the other extreme

    • @rainbowrotcod
      @rainbowrotcod 4 месяца назад

      me too. makes me feel very guilty and selfish to be nice to myself. I feel the same way when other people give me similar attention, who would have guessed!

  • @everythingisalie5320
    @everythingisalie5320 7 месяцев назад +10

    Loved this. You think loving yourself is selfish but it isn't. You are a blessing to humanity.

    • @wii58739
      @wii58739 3 месяца назад

      I hate myself as other people who used to care now avoid me because of small mistakes, im so damn lonely...

  • @Apollothe3
    @Apollothe3 11 месяцев назад +18

    The sound effects are actually pretty cool. Especially when you’re flowing through an explanation. It’s like a professor that actually enjoys giving lectures

  • @terriNCCC
    @terriNCCC 9 месяцев назад +8

    “If it might take awhile, then you might as well get started” Good Stuff! Thank you, this was very helpful for me

  • @k3zani265
    @k3zani265 День назад

    This does fit with my own experience. I have plenty of work to do but I want to love myself. I want to make myself proud. I want to do the right things

  • @ozramblue117
    @ozramblue117 24 дня назад

    The goodness of being good is its own reward. I’m working my financial situation. For the time being I’m not in a position to thank you according to the benefit I get from your content.

  • @albertoflores970
    @albertoflores970 8 месяцев назад +2

    This video needs to be played in schools, everywhere. This video calmed me down.

  • @jimwilkey7294
    @jimwilkey7294 10 месяцев назад +7

    What a great source of extremely valuable information. Some of what you said is so basic, yet completely overlooked and crucial for a satisfying life. Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @triggaweris4216
    @triggaweris4216 11 месяцев назад +17

    This is hands down my fav RUclips channel.Completely changed my view on therapy and psychology.Came a long way with the editing Doc😅

  • @ThePhabulousYvelise
    @ThePhabulousYvelise 4 месяца назад +2

    This is something I have struggled with for many years. I knew I needed to learn to love myself, but you have provided really great, practical steps. Thank you! I love your videos!

  • @blueboytv9191
    @blueboytv9191 6 месяцев назад +1

    I can vouch for this advice, its improved my relationship with myself, especially since I began expressing gratitude for the efforts I have made, and currently making to improve my life.

  • @teklife2151
    @teklife2151 9 месяцев назад

    I LOVE this channel. This video should be required viewing for young people, especially men. To the point, logically explained, just plain good information.

  • @andrevoirol6286
    @andrevoirol6286 Год назад +7

    It was from you that I learned the block and replace technique, and even if I learned a lot from content that also helped me, I thank you for your work, in the last 4 months has changed me for the best 💪🏼

  • @bananaram7611
    @bananaram7611 6 месяцев назад +1

    Eccentially, self affirmation, but without all the fluff. Excellent.

  • @mikefelber5129
    @mikefelber5129 8 месяцев назад +3

    Ok, blown away by this. I have spoken to myself in ways I would NEVER want to have anyone speak to me like I do to myself & certainly wouldn’t speak to a loved one like that… very eye opening- will watch this video a few times & take notes (already started) and definitely peruse more of your videos. Thank you very much & I love that shirt!

  • @user-od8wp4bm4e
    @user-od8wp4bm4e 3 месяца назад +2

    when you feel deep appreciation towards god( the one who created you, and everything in your life) it's so amazing!
    try to focus on how much you and god really love each other, and feel that love in your heart. then, let that love expand and get bigger and stronger and bigger and stronger until it's bigger than your body and now you are swimming in an ocean of love!
    visualize this ocean of love is a very light pink with gold sparkles.
    unconditional love towards god is one of the best feelings you can experience!
    know that god loves you so much more than you ever imagined! now, how does that make you feel?
    now, that you see what that feels like, love god even more! 100 time stronger than before!
    the more love you share with god, the more love god will share with you.

  • @Ri-hr4uy
    @Ri-hr4uy 11 месяцев назад +8

    After watching your video, I realised I do indeed "love myself" for the most part. I give myself a pat on my back for the progress I made and can forgive myself for the past mistakes I made, provided I learn from those mistakes and do my best to not make them again. But I can only "love myself" in a realistic way, i.e. even my "self love" is only applicable as long as it is based on reality. I am unable to stay positive or reassure myself positively when I constantly get negative results in something, no matter how hard I try or what stratergy I follow. This is my case regarding my desirability to the opposite gender and my dating life. I have always been rejected and only experienced rejection in my life from women, no matter how much I improved myself or how much I changed my stratergy or no matter what type of women I approached(I just wanted an average/plain girl who was loving, caring and affectionate towards me and was someone of my age range) I always got rejected. I have approached 38 gils so far(most in warm enviroment and some cold and some online) and have always been rejected. So I am unable to reassure myself in regards to my desirability and my dating life and my "self-love" fails here.
    So in short, I am capable of loving myself and do love myself, just that I can't be unrealistic to myself

  • @taterbug70
    @taterbug70 6 месяцев назад +2

    I like how practical and simple these messages are.

  • @GTRliffe
    @GTRliffe 10 месяцев назад +2

    i learned allot from this one! This guy found his purpose in life!!!

  • @TheJeremy81
    @TheJeremy81 11 месяцев назад +5

    Ridiculously high value. I wish I have heard this years ago.

  • @martinmartin9084
    @martinmartin9084 10 месяцев назад +4

    One thing that hit home a long time ago for me was the realisation that the inner dialogue was so out of alignment from how I would ever talk to somebody else.
    Correction, it would come out in nasty ways when drunk and angry long time ago, it was always waiting there trying to criticise or attack someone.
    I believe it can sometimes stem from upbringing and faulty self beliefs.
    If your inner dialogue is so bad that you couldn’t voice it to anyone else, you might have a problem.
    Great video.

  • @georgevossen3846
    @georgevossen3846 Месяц назад +1

    Thank You! Your time and educated words are life changing and motivating!

  • @richardchartier3023
    @richardchartier3023 3 месяца назад +1

    And then it gets deeper and deeper. Thank you. 😊

  • @arzumardalieva3874
    @arzumardalieva3874 4 месяца назад +1

    I’m grateful 🙏🏻
    Just what I needed!
    Thank you and many blessings!❤️

  • @ibtsam8051
    @ibtsam8051 7 месяцев назад +1

    You give accurate & actionable way to really love myself. Thanks a lot keep up the good work.

  • @cyrilsalager4915
    @cyrilsalager4915 Год назад +1

    Best realistic yet simple explanation I have come across on the subject!

  • @Sommerkollektion
    @Sommerkollektion Месяц назад +1

    Thanks! Please keep up the good work! Best content out there!!

  • @brendangolledge8312
    @brendangolledge8312 9 месяцев назад +22

    1. Do your best.
    2. Expect nothing of yourself except to do your best.

  • @coolluhfit
    @coolluhfit 10 месяцев назад +3

    i think this video changed my life. thank you so much.

  • @RealMC89
    @RealMC89 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you, Dr. Taraban!

  • @RubyRadio88
    @RubyRadio88 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for making this video. I need this. It is not the only thing I have on my plate as far as self improvement this year but I assume that it may be close to the core of it.

  • @jh9740
    @jh9740 15 дней назад

    critical inner voice is bang on. Some of the nicest people treat themselves so differently ...

  • @hmmemz1654
    @hmmemz1654 5 месяцев назад

    Such a good and insightful video. I’m confident but sometimes I have my days where that mean inner voice can appear out of nowhere and make me feel upset/ or just feel a way but with your help, I know I can combat it ❤️🙏

  • @hayley44448
    @hayley44448 5 месяцев назад +2

    Im definitely going to try this thankyou 😊 im constantly putting myself down,feelings of quilt and i havnt done anything wrong😢 ive been hurt so badly and almost feel i cant ever be happy again.i do so much for everyone around me yet hate it when someone does or says something nice to me.❤New Zealand 🇳🇿

  • @quirkyqs
    @quirkyqs Год назад +1

    Thank you so much Dr. Taraban. Helpful, well-explained and actionable, you're providing true value! We appreciate you.

  • @PMKPL
    @PMKPL 11 месяцев назад +5

    Absolutely fundamental, thanks.

  • @lucylight176
    @lucylight176 4 месяца назад +1

    So well put. Such important messages. Thank you 🌳

  • @soumyodipkanrar3032
    @soumyodipkanrar3032 9 месяцев назад

    Hey doc, this is probably the most important video you have made.

  • @ka9202
    @ka9202 Год назад +2

    Trying to save this to my Playlist. Will DEFINITELY need to replay this throughout the day. Thanks!

  • @chantellepulla5366
    @chantellepulla5366 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you so much for your advice, am grateful to have found your page on my feed. Am subscribed now and awaiting more videos. Thanks again.

  • @megyerizsuzsadora
    @megyerizsuzsadora 11 месяцев назад +3

    I love the Jan Kabat Zinn quote! ❤and congrats on your success, Orion! 🎉

  • @sonamsherpa4779
    @sonamsherpa4779 9 месяцев назад +2

    This is so helpful! Will do my best to put it in practice. Thank you for this video!

  • @mikejohnson2098
    @mikejohnson2098 2 месяца назад

    Orian Always explains it perfectly.

  • @deejkingz464
    @deejkingz464 2 месяца назад +1

    Great points! Self talk definitely impact our lives.

  • @Psalm423
    @Psalm423 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you! I needed this today!

  • @edwoodstock
    @edwoodstock Год назад +2

    You rock, this channel and the information they are in is proof that this technology is a tool for us to evolve as a species… Great work Doc🔥🔥🔥

  • @steveogle3679
    @steveogle3679 8 месяцев назад

    Things are always working out for me. For all of us. No matter what. Everything positive and negative has something to teach us. Everything that has come before has brought me to where I am now. I flow downstream but occasionally hit or get hung up in the rocks. My belief in myself and the infinite existence of my soul always keeps me moving always sends me downstream. Remind me of who I really am 😊

  • @lilylocsstore166
    @lilylocsstore166 3 месяца назад +2

    Sending positive vibe ❤

  • @moisetawes3026
    @moisetawes3026 11 месяцев назад +1

    Ur Are literally A Life Saver

  • @therealistthereis3852
    @therealistthereis3852 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this🙏🏾✨

  • @fluentinoverthinking
    @fluentinoverthinking Год назад +55

    Dr Orion, I’ve been doing therapy for almost a yeat, but it’s your videos that helped me the most with self-worth and self-esteem. Somehow you were able to describe very vividly what it means. And your video ‘Life is a Disneyland’ instilled hope in me. Thank you so much! For the first time in my life I feel like I belong to this world and got rid of the feeling that I annoy everyone I get in contact with.

    • @EriPages
      @EriPages Год назад +2

      Orion may have been a fallen angel masquerading as a god

    • @andrewortiz5797
      @andrewortiz5797 Год назад +4

      That's awesome!! Me however ... I don't feel like I belong to this world (figuratively)! Everywhere I go people are always staring at me. It's like I'm in the twilight zone 😂. I suffer with social anxiety and it feels really debilitating. I never fit in with the local tribes or groups or cliques or churches etc and I've always matched to the best of my own drum. There are some people who "get me" and like me, hopefully I don't self sabotage my relationships by erecting another barrier to protect myself from getting hurt lol. Forgive me for my rant.. but that's awesome you are growing Internally.

    • @fluentinoverthinking
      @fluentinoverthinking Год назад +1

      @@andrewortiz5797 I'm sure you're on the way of improvement too :)

  • @alkoholikbom3612
    @alkoholikbom3612 8 месяцев назад +2

    its like 2 people are inside me and a third one is just watching i do not know if i am losing my mind but that would be too easy to explain as everyone these days wants to be a victim cause it makes life so much easier to explain

  • @Hendroolis
    @Hendroolis 11 месяцев назад +3

    Incredibly valuable video. Thank you

  • @jeanpena6268
    @jeanpena6268 10 месяцев назад +3

    Gracias por el video !!!

  • @Alexandra-be4hz
    @Alexandra-be4hz 6 месяцев назад +3

    beautiful video and beautiful message, as always!!

  • @monk_master
    @monk_master 11 месяцев назад +28

    I’ve been into „self improvement“ for about two years now, and although it helped me a lot, and I see a lot of benefits from it, I began to look at myself in a judgemental way. There were challenges I would consistently fail in, like trying to treat my pron addiction or spending less time online. I would get disappointed and think of myself as a loser, who gives up just before reaching something. At the same time I deny any love from women, thinking I cant love anyone if I don’t love myself, which I can only happen if I reach my goals, which is only possible if I love myself. As you see this is Impossible to reach. I have to be able to love myself without achieving my dreams, in order to achieve my dreams. I can only move forward and master all these challenges if I love myself, as judging will only bring me down. So that’s what I’m doing from now on . I will talk to myself in a brotherly and empathetic way

    • @geemail369
      @geemail369 11 месяцев назад +1

      "Future You" _needs_ *you* to set up for its needs to be met! Dare, be brave to break with traditions and rules ... and skip the sh!t talking. 🤙🏻🌱

    • @YouTuber-2077
      @YouTuber-2077 11 месяцев назад

      Brother, so relatable ! I also do that brotherly talk with myself often . Seems I’m on the right track aswell

    • @ASMRyouVEGANyet
      @ASMRyouVEGANyet 11 месяцев назад

      Getting over porn addiction is difficult because it's like a drug addiction. I suggest Noah B. E. Church for help

    • @brucerees9668
      @brucerees9668 10 месяцев назад +2

      I'm with you on judging sell.. I find it hard sometimes, but if I think about the situation for a minute, 2years ago a surgery blessed my new journey as solidity to everyday working on self regardless of how much I hurt... good luck

  • @SheenaRea
    @SheenaRea Месяц назад

    Really needed to hear this. Thanks!!❣

  • @samanthaoverberg1040
    @samanthaoverberg1040 10 месяцев назад +17

    New to this channel and it has been some of the best content I've watched. Period. It's engaging, thought-provoking, downright life-changing, and doesn't leave me feeling like I've wasted my time.
    Thank you for all you do, Doc.
    Along the lines of this particular episode, though i don't personally struggle with self-love, I find myself surrounded by those who do and are even borderline suicidal from it. My question is simply this: how do you help someone else learn to love themselves?
    (Apart from sharing this episode, which I will do, but fear they won't watch it)

    • @L6FT
      @L6FT 7 месяцев назад

      One commentor noted she'd been asked to make a list of all her positive traits. She then became very emotional. I think that may be a start.

  • @aleewoolley
    @aleewoolley 9 месяцев назад +1

    This is incredibly helpful. Thank you. 🙏🏼❤️

  • @Daviot22
    @Daviot22 4 месяца назад

    I am so hard on myself and I am really trying to get better. My stress is so high this is gonna help me so much. I need to re watch a few times

  • @kellyjackson7839
    @kellyjackson7839 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for this.

  • @Kal-El207
    @Kal-El207 3 месяца назад

    I really needed this. Thank you.

  • @suusje9383
    @suusje9383 9 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this video and many more. The treat people like cats and put out good milk. And this one, spoke to me. Treat yourself like you would of treated or spoke to a friend part, hit me hard. Thnx

  • @kerryfaden94
    @kerryfaden94 6 месяцев назад

    Great start for me finding your channel!!!

  • @Heallove24
    @Heallove24 Год назад +2

    I need to listen to this again. Very valuable information that I need to think about more. Appreciate your helpful vibe.😇

  • @leopepi834
    @leopepi834 Месяц назад

    Thank you for the content you provide, Orion. :)